Some may have many views against what I am saying, but I want to create a platform of discussion.

Contemplation through the times, and each state of the generations…how do we know where to draw the line in preservation of our roots, while serving the greater good?

Whether it is in consumption of wealth, enforcing law, or ways of living, the main issue that we fail to establish, is balance.

How do we not overstep the mark, while situations around us dictate that we should, in cause of the ‘greater good’? Yet, when we over step a mark, something else is at risk of loss.

What do I mean here?

Islam, since the time of the Prophet Muhammad (saw), began with one person, to two people, then four, which then led to a small community of Muslims, who formed the greatest Muslims of our nation – The companions. Islam here, in terms of faith within the people was at its peak, to the extent whereby Shaytaan himself would fear the followers.

The numbers, which it had rose from a small group to what it stands now, close to billion, is a blessing of this nation, that it would be the biggest nation above all the prior nations.

Nobody can deny that as times have progressed, societies have advanced, and we are living in circumstances which people even a decade ago would never imagine, in terms of technology, we can even turn on electrical appliances with words from our mouths, rather than putting our physical capabilities to use.

Over some time, I have been thinking about the state of Islam in our times, in society now, we are living in a world where technology is shaping man, rather than the other way round, there’s so much corruption and morality is decreasing, and the mercy in the hearts of the people, is reducing, as people are being over taken by their ego. Im sure you know what I am saying.

In the west, we are being pulled – Well I wont say we, but Islamic scholars are being pulled in two directions. I have a few points to make:

Firstly – Living in a society, where nudity is prevailing, homosexuality, and corrupt ways of living, and technology making people lazy, people are brought up in this kind of society, and its becoming a norm, and nobody really knows any different

Secondly, as a result of this, those who come back to Islam, or be raised islamically; based on the society, build their Emaan off of that, in a sense. Alhamdulila a handful preserve their strong Emaan,

Thirdly – We are actively, always trying to get people back to Islam, always trying new things, and through mediums which are appealing to those who we are trying to call to Allah’s religion, so we openly accept for example, people into the mosque who have (im giving a bad example here), but walk in with disliked clothing, or hairstyle which is against the Sunnah,

In essence of all these points, we are living in a society which is reducing in morals, and at the same time, we are trying to give Dawah, even though the Sunnah is diluting, we are in the struggle or constant battle of – do we reject these people who are not following the Sunnah, and let a culture form, where the Sunnah isn’t emphasised, or do accept these for the greater good, even with the risk of the Sunnah being diluted?

I believe this is what’s happening, for example, this whole phenomena with regards to the music and nasheeds, are there any nasheeds now without music? But some argue well it’s a way of getting people back to Islam but at the same time, Islam is diluting. (Ok, Ok, some may say here, some scholars have said its allowed etc, but its not the music thats the issue).

Someone made a poem which one line read:

‘Am I not a true Mu’mineen if I haven’t covered my hair?
Am I more viable to people treating me with less respect – is that fair?
Isn’t real Iman more than what I wear?’

I think its ridiculous, but this is an example of the ideology, which is being passed around, and thus Islam is diluting, because we are in the culture of excusing all the time, and because of societies circumstances, we are being pushed to excuse, in order for the greater good, of bringing people back to Islam…

We are moving towards a method of ‘over sympathising’, and always ‘rubbing peoples back’ saying ‘oh its okay, you will get there, you wil start praying take things one thing at a time’. Which has led to people falling back, and as a result of this sympathy, people have lowered their bar with the deen.

It doesnt really matter whether its deen or duniya, when you begin sympathising something too much, it becomes diluted, and people unconciously lower the bar, and the pressure – the amount thats needed – reduces.

E.g. At work, the late policy, if a collegue comes into work late all the time, and theres a policy saying you have to be on time, but the employer says, don’t worry, take your time, i know its hard, the collegue unconciously will reduce the pressure off of himself, this is whats happening now, I believe, it is dependant on the collegue to put the effort in, which represents the way our emaan should be, but at the same time, the pressure should work ALONG with him, rather than feeding his weakness.

In times of the Prophet (saw), when they heard a verse, no one had to give sympathy back, but it all complimented each other, the admonishing, and also the compassion worked hand in hand, everything  was done, without question, so why are we giving so much sympathy now? Yes people take time, but with every thing there is Balance, as we are the balanced nation.

With sympathy, comes balance, as with admonishing.

Allah is the forgiver, but He is the punisher too

Another point, I completed a course on the rules of Fiqh, and it was stated that there are 8 types of incidental difficulty, and one was general affliction, which it was stated that

”When the harm of a matter has become generalised and it is not possible for a person to avoid it, then the Shariah applies ease in the issue”;

‘ From our time, is the free mixing or music at the shopping malls. These days, it is not practically not possible to purchase food or buy any commodity except that a person is tested with these prohibited matters, as a result, the Shariah overlooks the sin in this case as long as every effort is made to minimise the harm’

In a case like this, in the society we are living in, where do we draw the line in applying the rule of general affliction?

The way I see things, is that society is deriving so many issues by which the Shariah needs to be applied to, and so many complexities, but I believe that, this is a sign of the end of times, the more complex issues society is bringing about to provide Fatwa, the more society is falling in terms of morality.

There are simple things in terms of Adab and etiquette, which we don’t even see anymore, or consider being important, we read and be inspired by so many stories, and sit in awe of them, but do we really live it? The old ways are being laughed at, and seen as something alien, and thus those who want to revive beautiful values, are seen as something against the good, simple manners such as smiling, giving salaam, going that extra mile, showing appreciation, instead of feeding off each others compassion, brothers sitting close to each other and sitting and have a nice conversation, rather than sat ten miles apart from each other, with their legs 20 miles apart. Acts other than this are perceived as ‘gay’.

The Shariah will not fail to adapt, but things will come close to impossible.

More and more people are coming to Islam, which is a blessing given to this Ummah to be the biggest, but more are bringing problems, and more complexities, sooner or later, some may even deem it to be Makrooh to be homosexual. The numbers arent the issue, its the conviction in Islam which is decreasing,

Its very pessimistic, but it’s a point which im trying to illustrate.

Where and how do we draw the line in all of this?

I think these are means to the End, and we need to stop this culture, of excusing all the time, and being so lenient with the Shariah, if Islam dilutes, so will this generation.

We need to be balanced as the Shariah dictates.

You made me see the light of life; you put life in me, and helped me
taste the sweetness of Emaan.

How can I let this beauty of life go?

You taught me right from wrong, made me distinguish good from evil.

How could I let this beauty of life go?

You gave me goals and aspirations.

You gave me hope and patience.

You gave me motivation and inspiration.

How could I let this beauty of life go?

You gave me wisdom, taught me truth from falsehood.
You saved me from darkness.

Through The beauty you placed in this life,

I fear if ‘ill be amongst those who be veiled from your beauty and your meeting,

I be astonished by the beauty of nature, Yet you are the
Creator of Beauty.

No words will do Justice to your infinite magnitude.

All Praise and thanks are due to you for showing me the light of life,
without you life has no beauty, it has no enjoyment, nor is it worth
living but in your worship.

Hardships seem light when I remember you, even
in that you place beauty.

I could cry an ocean for you, but its
sweetness will never fade,

Nor will my eyes find rest but in that they weep more for you.

Forgive me for my ignorance of You, my expressions are of no
value.

Make me amongst the sincere, and of those you unveil your
magnificence to.

Ameen

In The Name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful

Sometimes, I look upon my bookshelf, and see the books, audio lectures, and Qur’an, and question myself.. where has all this knowledge got me? How much have I implanted in me of the knowledge I’ve sought?

The fact of the matter is, the benefit we have drawn from knowledge shows at the time where we are tested. We learn about The Seerah, The Sunnah, The Akhira, and we take many great lessons from The Qur’an. When times become easy and we have contentment in our hearts, practising the deen becomes easy, and we feel we are untouchable, we predict that nothing can lead us astray because of our conviction in Islam. Yet, when we are tried and tested, the knowledge there then is truly applied. If we are tempted, do we give in or turn away? When life seems like its crumbling around us, do we take the example of Prophet Muhammad (saw), and carry on labouring hard in Allah’s way, or do we sit in a corner and lose focus on our purpose?

Somebody once said to me (May Allah preserve him), that its the ‘last five minutes that count’. For instance, we can work hard for a person all our life, and give them everything, but all in all, anything that person does to illustrate any unappreciation, can cancel it all out. The same applies with our deen, and the knowledge we gain.

The beauty of Islam is that, there’s always an addiction for knowledge. Once we start seeking it, we can never get enough. We want more and more, this is especially felt in those who convert, or those who are born Muslims and make repentance at first. The Zeal for knowledge grows, because we are learning about our reality, and a different approach and perspective of life which is mind blowing. Yet, this can be a ready trap from shaytaan, and a danger for us.

The seeking of knowledge, is always a beautiful pursuit. Although sometimes, we need to be careful not to overload our buckets. We can often attend talks, with our full stomach of knowledge, and expect to digest more. The way we can empty the full bucket, is by following knowledge through with action, and spreading it. Otherwise, our efforts to seek knowledge would have gone to waste and it can be held against us.

Imam Ghazzali (May Allah have mercy on him), mentions in his Letter to a Disciple;

“O Disciple, be neither destitute of good deeds nor devoid of spiritual states, for you can be sure that mere knowledge will not help. It is as though a man in the desert had ten Indian swords, and other weapons besides – the man being brave and a warrior- and a huge terrifying lion attacked him. What is your opinion? Will the weapons repel this danger of hid from him without being used and being weilded? It is obvious that it will not repel it unless drawn and wielded!..

… Even if you studied for a 100 years, and collected a 1000 books, you will not be eligible for the mercy of God the Exalted except through action.”

I remember telling somebody once, ‘Picture it like this, your carrying with you a long rod on your shoulders, and on both ends are two buckets. Everytime you seek knowledge, you fill up each bucket, until it gets heavy. Whenever you act upon the knowledge, your pouring the bucket out, and you can carry onto get some more. Yet everytime, you gain more knowledge, and dont act upon it, you begin to add more weight, and your journey to the well becomes heavier, and slows down your progress. The knowledge then becomes a burden, and any extra knowledge is whats falling out of the bucket as would water, has gone to waste, aswell as your efforts’.
The heart will begin to repulse the extra knowledge.

Shaytaan is always ready to make us fall, not only through the bad things, but even through what may seem good to us.

InshAllah this Ramadhan, it maybe that we need to sit back and think, although there will be some, who will want to open their abandoned books, there maybe also some of us, who may need to close them, and act on what we already know.

May Allah give us all the ability, and make our knowledge a means for us to earn Allah’s pleasure.

Ameen

www.virtualmosque.com

If I saw your smile, I would cry out of happiness,

If I saw your tears, I would cry out of sadness,

If only I could have been there catch your tears,

I look into the mirror, and wish to see you there,

When times are hard, I wish for your company,

Your smile alone, would dispel my sorrows,

When times are hard,

I ask myself, what would you advise me,

I first read about you, and your mercy and compassion towards others, and I fell in love,

I pray to Allah to help me follow your footsteps,

Just to even sit where you sat,

Walk where you walked.

You are my role model,

My reflection in the mirror which I can’t yet see,

I want to love what you love, and dislike that which you dislike,

I stand in prayer, and look to my side wishing you were there,

You are the friend I am searching for,

But I know I will never find,

You truly are the ‘one’ out of mankind,

If I was ever given the chance to catch a glimpse of you, I would travel from the West to the East,

I only wish to be like you,

I miss you….

I can now only wish to be the closest to you on the Day Of Qiyamah, because even then I will be comforted by your presence,

I thank Allah for making me part of your Ummah, and is above an honour to aspire to be like you…

For you truly are a Mercy To Mankind…

“We have sent you (O Muhammad) as a mercy for all the nations” (al-Quran 21:107)

In the Name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful

All praise is due to Allah, Glorified and Magnificent is He. He is the light within the heavens and the earth, and all that proceeds it. All matters lay in His hands, He is the giver and He is the Taker. He is the granter of peace and the giver of life. He takes us out from the depths of darkness and sheds us in His light of guidance. May peace and blessings be upon Prophet Muhammad (saw) and make Him near to Allah on the Day of Resurrection. I pray that this reaches those who it may bring benefit to, and helps them to overcome their inner struggles..Ameen

This is the third part in the article series in steps overcoming Low Self Esteem..inshAllah..

Earlier parts in the Series:
Part 1 – Introduction to Low Self-Esteem
Part 2 – The Three Ingredients

Re- connect or refresh your connection with your Deen, through knowledge and practise.

Beseech Allah first and foremost, to aid you in overcoming your trial. If your prayers are lacking, aim to get them on time, and regular. Know that, if you are not turning to Allah, and fulfilling your obligatory duties, then inevitably you will find difficulty in this life. Seek help and patience through prayer.

If your knowledge is lacking in Islam, seek the basics. Learn about Allah, His Attributes, and His rights over you.

Learn about The Prophet (saw), and his character, and his life.

There is no doubt, low esteem will be diseasing your heart, and by knowing what bad traits its making you carry, using the Prophet (saw) example, as a template, should be sufficient for you as your goal.

The whole essence, or body of this is self-reformation, and purification. Allah praises those who seek to purify themselves:

“He is indeed successful who purifies it, and he is indeed a failure who stunts it.” (al-Qur’an, 91: 9-10)

The Day on which neither wealth nor sons will be of any use, except for whoever brings to Allah a sound heart.” (al-Qur’an, 26: 88-89)

The sound heart is understood to be free of character defects and spiritual blemishes

“He has succeeded who purifies himself” (al-Qur’an, 87: 14).

1. If you know, low self-esteem is affecting you, call upon yourself the challenge to overcome it!

The first most biggest step one can take, is realising they are being affected, and aiming to overcome their shortcomings.

We should in any situation, remember that, if we wish to do anything, aspire towards anything, or change anything, we need to put in the effort and make the first step towards what we aim. If we want Allah’s aid, we need to provide a channel whereby Allah can bestow His blessings and support. Who can help us, if we can’t help ourselves?

Allah says in the Qur’an:

“Verily, Allah does not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves” (al-Qur’an, 13:11)

Allah will aid us, if we intend to firstly aid ourselves.

This is another drop of motivation which Insh’Allah we should pick up.

Also keep in mind, Allah is there to support you, if you aim for good, Allah will make steps easier for you, and Allah will draw you nearer to Him:

“I am as My servant thinks I am. I am with him when he makes mention of Me. If he makes mention of Me to himself, I make mention of him to Myself; and if he makes mention of Me in an assembly, I make mention of him in an assembly even better than that. And if he takes one step towards me, I take ten steps towards him. And if he comes walking to Me , I go running towards him.” (Hadith Qudsi)

Have firm intention, and pray two Rakah voluntary or Salat Ul Hajah (The Prayer of need) for Allah to aid you and make your intention with your Salah.

2. Ask yourself a few questions:

Where are you in life at present?
Where do you want to go?
What are your goals in life?
Why are they your goals?
What is it that you wish to improve about yourself?
Why do you wish to improve these?
What is your purpose in life?

After these questions are answered, focusing upon the ‘why’ answers, you should be able to set your priorities. List your priorities in order of importance in order that it gives you some directions and aids you in your goal.

All in all, our purpose in this life, is to worship Allah:

I only created jinn and man to worship Me. (Dhariyat, 56)

We should aim to set our goals in life towards this. All these aspects, which have been mentioned, are which lead to sincerity, and will aid us to gain the three ingredients. Insh’Allah.

Rate your esteem

Ask yourself, draw on a scale of 1-10, how do I rate my self-esteem /confidence? Then, identify where would like to be in terms of your confidence. You then have an idea of where you are heading.

Future articles in this series will deal with:

* Building your esteem!
* Dos and donts: Final words in relation to Ibn Al Qayyim’s ‘The Characteristics of the Seeker of Happiness’ From Al Fawa’id’.

Any good of this is from Allah and any errors are from myself.

Note: Please do not republish without permission, if any sisters would like to contact me for general confidential advice based on this, my email ad: sr.ayshakhanom@googlemail.com.

Life seems like its going downhill, in terms of my deen,
Without my deen of what point is there to go on?
Has shaytaan grasped me in his trap?
I ask you Allah to give me strength in remaining steadfast on the truth,
What is it that may have lured me away from you?
My bad habits are many, but I struggle to aim to rectify them in your name,
I question my intentions, hoping to be sincere,
I aim for a humble sound heart, yet my vices are of many,
Give me strength Allah to fulfil that which I aspire for in the time I have,
Only, and only in the hope that I intend to seek your pleasure, and see your beautiful face, and to fall in prostration out of fear and humbleness of you,
My insides wish to be teared out at the thought of me being led away from your remembrance,
From what sins have my heart been blackened by?
The soul only goes against itself when it sins, they say self preservation comes first, then of what sense is it, that we still sin, going against ourselves?
The sweetness in your remembrance, is nothing of what anything this world could offer, so why is it my heart has distanced?
As I write these words, is my heart attentive? Is my heart repenting?
I wish that my veins run fill with fear of you,
That it refrains from evil, as my skin refrains and leaps from fire,
I wish that my heart beats out of love for you,
That it is guided to good, as an eye is lured to beauty,
Give me cure from myself, and help me to be of those that die upon your name.
You are the knower of hearts, help my heart to know You, and become in awe of You.

In The Name Of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful

Ever had them moments, where you hear a song, and it brings back all those memories of a certain time period, from the smell, atmosphere of that particular time.. whether it be the summer days where you’d be cruising in your cars, wind brushing through your hair, and that great summery feeling where you begin to miss it, Or maybe the hard times you had been through, that bring you back all those sad feelings, and it rushes back to you?

It’s said, you can’t fully appreciate faith unless you’ve experienced jahillyya.

Some time ago, before Allah had guided me. I don’t recall much, everything seems a blur. It seems as I was in a daze. All it was, was me and my music. Life didn’t carry any meaning, just take each day as it comes. Everyone knew me for my craze about Music, from Hip Hop, Pop, Arabic, Rap, Dance, House and the list goes on. Even my teacher knew about my craze. I’d never leave my walkman or discman (iPods weren’t out then), that’s the only thing I paid attention to. If my battery was low that morning, even though I’d be running late for school or college, I would go to the nearest store to buy new batteries. Rather than sit and talk within my group of friends, I would prefer listening to my music. Nothing in life gave me contentment and life was empty. Regardless of what parents would say, or what people spoke about in terms of deen, it seemed as though I was veiled from it.

Music was the only thing that gave me my energy for the day, and when it turned off, I would feel lost and empty again. What kept me so glued to this nonsense? It was fake feeling of happiness I’d get, which only reached the surface of my heart, and nothing beyond it. It was only today, someone had been playing Tupac, and I remember listening to his song ‘Keep Ya Head Up’, I would listen to it before I slept, some days it would bring tears to my eyes… I was struggling inside, but didn’t know why, something felt missing from my life,  and I didn’t know what was making me feel so lost. I’d have days, where once I woke up, all I was looking forward to was bed time, these times were when I didn’t have to think. When I look back and think about his now, it feels cheap to know I was like this once upon a time.

I remember thinking to myself once, I wish I had a written guide which would tell me what to and how to do it.

You watch people chase after Rock Stars, Rap Artists, Pop stars, and go out of their ways to even catch a glimpse of them, they’d have their rooms made into so called shrines of their favourite artists. You go to concerts, or see on TV how those at the front be almost climbing on top of each other to touch their hands, or even get a glimpse from them.

Sometimes, you’d hear about people telling their events in their life, how a song gave them hope and made them believe. It’s what grows their attachment to them. Magazines are plastered with their junk, about how many spots they may have on their forehead, or how greasy their hair may have been one morning while coming out to get the paper. You’ll see a lot of girls with their heads buried in this garbage, and making it seem like its their business, and concern themselves with what doesn’t concern them or bring any benefit.

You’ll watch as kids get older, they go through a phase of being Tupac Fanatics. You’ll notice this particularly amongst youth subcultures, who made had have hard times in their life and resort to violence. They become fanatics, because they feel they can relate to him. It’s been 12 years since he died, and you get kids feeling like they can relate to him and perceive him as their role model. There’s no doubt in saying Tupac was a talented writer, but how he articulated his talent let him down.

Everyone needs a guide in life, a source of motivation, hope, and inspiration. It’s what humans seek and need. Something to give security, and guarantee. The words of Pop stars work for some, but the words that are being produced come from their own in built ideas, experiences, you’ll see the same garbage being reproduced, and it moves with the time frame and those words people seek direction from, whether directly or indirectly. There are no foundations in the ideas being generated, but what the human mind has managed to make understanding from on the basis of their own intellect alone, without any good certain foundations.

Islam gives us good foundations to build our ideas upon. We have The Prophet (saw) the most perfect being who walked on the surface of this earth, who Allah has opened our eyes to and made us realise, who was the walking Shariah, character, thinking, morals, etiquette, sources of inspiration and patience, built on Allah’s (swt) law. Scholars’ works, lectures, deriving from Allah’s guidance – Rabul Alameen – helps us fit within our time frames, and cope with the dilemmas our time gives us. It gives us guarantee, and rids us of uncertainty, and erases the ‘what ifs’ and the ‘should have, would have and could haves’.

The effect to which music has on ones mind, and the false sense of hope and energy it gives, Islam gives us its truest form, which nothing on the face of this earth can give. Which relates to what Ibrahim al-Adham (May Allah have mercy on him) said “If the kings knew the happiness and pleasure that we feel in our hearts, they would come and try to take it away from us with the tips of their swords”.

I pray Allah guides us all, and opens the hearts of those who are lost, to the truth. Ameen

Any good of this is from Allah, and any errors are from myself.

We are living in age of high advantage. We have access to world knowledge at the click of a button, when our precedent stars of Islam traveled far lands to gain knowledge. We have lights in every room of each house and on every corner of every street, when they had the light of the moon; we have transportation when they had to walk on foot and ride horses to gain sacred knowledge. Yet, with everything at the tips of our fingers, shouldn’t knowledge be increasing and spreading further?

Rather, today we are seeing people choosing ignorance over knowledge. One of the advices of Prophet (saw) was to take advantage of time before we are occupied, and youth before old age. These intertwine together as at a young age we have less responsibility and more time in our hands. In youth we are at our highest peak in our senses, our energy, and our health and minds are fresh, ready to absorb knowledge like a sponge absorbs water.

The youth are the future of tomorrow and the seeds of success. Therefore we must find the means to success. With the current tension around us, we are in the spotlight; we can take this spotlight, and use it to our advantage. Allah doesn’t put something to us without any wisdom, therefore it is up to us whether we draw out the benefit and utilise it towards our goals.

Allah has blessed many of us by giving us the chance to educate ourselves, where easy accesses to facilities are given. Iqraa was the first command given to Muhammad (saw), to read. Gaining knowledge is an obligation upon all Muslims, for the good of oneself, and society. As one needs to learn the law of Allah to bring justice for themselves and for others as it is a God given way of life who is well aware of what is best for us. The Prophet (saw) said, ‘whoever seeks out a path to acquire knowledge (of the deen) Allah makes it easy a path for them to Jannah’ – Muslim. Even the angels high in heavens to the fish deep in the sea, supplicate for the students of knowledge.

Education of current affairs and our past opens our minds, teaching us to reason and being aware of past history, so we can make a better judgement of the present. The Qur’an tells us to observe the earth and the skies, so there in an instant, we are told to learn the sciences.

Many times we see failure in education amongst the Muslims, with the morals of Islam, and if we were to put the Prophet (saw) in perspective of our lives, we should be the best performers of universities and colleges, as the Prophet (saw) advised us to conduct everything in its best manner.

There are many talented youth who can all give something back to society and raise its standards, it is said the ink of a scholar is more precious than the blood of a martyr. We need to filter the light of Islam and revive it; through our works and this can be done in many ways, through the Media, Journalism or Art. So the youth of tomorrow can improve on our works. Through contribution of writing, and bring new ideas.

Our education can be a form of worship in our youth, if we intend to seek Allah’s pleasure, to share the light of Islam. This will bring about more blessing and make our actions bear fruits.

The Prophet (saw) advised us when acting in the present to be cautious of what tomorrow will bring and its consequences. Motivation is the key; if we make Allah our pinnacle of motivation we will find success and development, if you want to accomplish something, you can!!!

If you have a passion for something, take it and run with it, nothing can stand in your way but yourself. Plant your actions with the seeds of sincerity, you see flourish and grow bearing fruits. If you plant them with insincerity, you will grow nothing but bare branches. I pray the students today, be the stars of Islam, and revive Islam once again as I end with the beautiful hadith: The Prophet (saw) said “to take advantage of five before five: your youth before your old age, your wealth before your poverty, your health before your sickness, your free-time before your preoccupation, and your life before your death.”

In the Name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful

All praise is due to Allah, Glorified and Magnificent is He. He is the light within the heavens and the earth, and all that proceeds it. All matters lay in His hands, He is the giver and He is the Taker. He is the granter of peace and the giver of life. He takes us out from the depths of darkness and sheds us in His light of guidance. I pray that this reaches those who it may bring benefit to, and helps them to overcome their inner struggles..Ameen

This will set out to set a way out for those that are battling it within themselves, by Allah’s will. I had written an article sometime ago, talking from a personal experience in relation to low self esteem: Low Self Esteem: A Disease Among The Youth

Alhamdulila, some sisters had contacted me, and it had only opened my eyes to the severity of it, and which led me to writing these series of articles. I pray sincerely that they bring benefit.Ameen

Low self esteem seems to be a major cause to alot of problems, which we see in society. This subject is somewhat sensitive, and although its affects are vast, many of us are not aware of it. It can be well hidden, and it leads to such things as depression, drug and alcohol abuse, rebellion, eating disorders and reaches extremities such as suicide. It is not something physically apparent, and can even be veiled from the individual themselves. This then leads to the individual interpreting the problem wrongly, and attempting to fill the voids through other means, which will only feed the low esteem negatively, and take the individual into a vicious cycle.

It affects many people, especially the youth, in areas of confidence levels, interpersonal relations, educational attainment, marriages, and socialising – all important tools in ones life.

Alhamdulila, Islam is a Shifa (healing) for mankind. We can aim to hope and find the cure in Islam, referring back to the Qur’an and Sunnah. Improving ourselves, and bettering ourselves is a lifelong task. Allah puts forward challenges only to help us better ourselves, to expose any bad traits within us, as a means for us to see, and a chance to better them. We will go through many walks of life, and face hardships, and happiness which will all mould us continuously. We can see these stages, as means to improve ourselves, or it can go against us. It is all dependent on our thinking, how we perceive life, our purpose and our focus upon how we want to present our hearts to Allah when we return to Him. Our own thinking can blind us and deprive us from blessings and goodness through any challenges in life which Allah may wish to give us.

In relation to low self esteem, one can either perceive low esteem as something in favour of them, or against them. All praise and thanks to Allah, I felt it as a blessing in disguise, only after which I had pulled through. All in all, any trials which Allah puts forward to us, can be in our favour, and Allah does not decree anything, without there being any wisdom behind it, as He is The Al Hakim. Yet, when one is suffering from low esteem, it does not feel like so.

Al-Hasan al-Basri (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “Do not resent the calamities that come and the disasters that occur, for perhaps in something that you dislike will be your salvation, and perhaps in something that you prefer will be your doom.”

Remember the words of the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “How wonderful is the affair of the believer, for his affairs are all good, and this applies to no one but the believer. If something good happens to him, he is thankful for it and that is good for him. If something bad happens to him, he bears it with patience and that is good for him.” (Narrated by Muslim, 2999).

Having low esteem is a great trial in itself, feeling like you are stuck inside your ‘own cage’, it veils you from seeing the good within yourself, from seeing good in situations, and eats away at your confidence. The individual themselves, become their own limit. being your own barrier and your own continuous critic, and aiming to overcome that can be a far fetched mountain to climb, which is why Islam is a shifa; Allah says in the Quran:

‘Allah does not lay a burden on any soul, except that which it can bear, Allah will bring about ease after hardship’ (Quran 65:7)

Islam gives us an optimistic perception on life, and enables us to move forward and gives us great motivation, focus and confidence.

There are a few solutions which I aim to put forward.

Firstly, there are 3 ingredients needed, before you aim to overcome it; All of these intertwine and follow on from each other:

1. Determination
2. Motivation
3. Courage

After which and during should help you aim to gain sincerity. Ask yourself, which areas of your life need enhancing.

You need to be determined, and feel as an obligation on yourself to fight it. This will then lead to motivation. You need to keep motivated, in order that if you fail one time, you can pick yourself back up, and try again, remembering what your motive is. Finally, with this you need courage. Your motives will provide you with the strength to give you courage, in order that you remain determined. Thus, you can keep motivated to challenge yourself in situations which affect you the most.

How will I be determined, and what can be my motivation? From where can I build courage?

Only you know your weaknesses, after all, the low esteem is all that makes you focus upon. Only you know what areas of your life it affects, how much it prevents you and limits you from achieving your potential. All the answers come from being truthful to yourself.

Once this is established, make known to yourself, what you aspire for, what you aim to improve about yourself, and what you want to overcome. List three things and focus and aim for your goals. This should then give your first boost of motivation..insh’Allah.

Future articles in this series will deal with:

• Steps to take and consider – Reconnecting with the deen
• Calling yourself the challenge
• Ask yourself a few questions – Your purpose in life
• Do’s and dont’s
• Final words in relation to Ibn Al Qayyim’s ‘The Characteristics of the Seeker of Happiness’ From Al Fawa’id’.

Any good of this is from Allah and any errors are from myself.

Note: Please do not republish without permission, if any sisters would like to contact me for general confidential advice based on this, my email ad: sr.ayshakhanom@googlemail.com.

JazakAllahu Khayran

In the Name of Allah, The Most Beneficent, The Most Merciful

This is a reminder for myself first and foremost, and for those who strive for sincerity.

Alhamdulila, Allah has given some of us, the passion to write and has facilitated us through many means to expose our writings. We all desire that we share with the world our ideas, and express our views. The best motivation, and the enthusiasm which one can draw from in becoming successful in whatever he/she pursues, is from sincerity.

Yet, we are always under the watch of Shaytaan, ever ready to make us slip at any opportunity we may find in pleasing Allah. He is our open enemy, and I pray Allah protects our deeds, and grants us sincerity in all our actions. Ameen.

We hear of the following hadith, being repeated many times:

‘Umar ibn al-Khattab (RA), that he said, “I heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, saying, ‘Actions are only by intentions, and every man has only that which he intended. Whoever’s emigration is for Allah and His Messenger then his emigration is for Allah and His Messenger. Whoever’s emigration is for some worldly gain which he can acquire or a woman he will marry then his emigration is for that for which he emigrated‘

This hadith can be heard, and we can be taught its commentaries, yet absorbing and memorising this as a piece of knowledge isn’t sufficient for us to be content within ourselves, believing that our actions are sincerely for Allah, as it can only be put into practise.

In this context of writing articles, it’s very easy to fall into losing our sincerity. We may begin with a good clear intention, yet as we may proceed in writing, shaytaan will try to deter that. When something is exposed and potentially subjected to praise, one can fall into the danger of losing their sincerity.

I’ll keep this reminder short, and inshAllah pray that Allah protects our sincerity!

1. Renew intentions. We can easily lose our intention whilst writing.

2. Question your motive. Our intention maybe sincere when we first write or begin to write, but sometimes it can waiver whilst writing, as shaytaan will whisper…

‘Dude write so and so, and people will think you’re pious’. How do you know when you’re sincere? You question you’re motives… because the success of the article will be dependent upon you’re sincerity. Is your motive that you write so people ‘wow’ you, or whilst you write, do you think about how Allah will be pleased?

We should be truthful to ourselves, and that’s the only way we achieve sincerity…

We should be wary that we don’t fall into a trade with our deeds…buying praise, with the currency of our lofty deeds!

Finally, when if we get good remarks or praise, it will attack your sincerity, but all in all, if our sincerity was there in first place, it shouldn’t affect us too much, yet if we wanted people to ‘wow’ us, realise how we get happy, and it increases us in motivation to do more…. only because the ‘wow’ that we sought was found. And it’s feeding the insincerity.

However, if you feel praise does attack your sincerity, know that you were sincere!

As Ibn Al Qayyim mentions in the characteristics of the seeker of happiness:

He should be bold in his aspiration, firm in his resolve, and not swayed from his goal by the blame of the blamers or the discouragement of the discouragers.

He should generally be tranquil, constantly in thought, and not be moved by the sweetness of a compliment or the pain of criticism. (Al Fawa’id. Page 265)

We should aim to keep the balance there, that when people do appreciate your writings, continue to write, and don’t let the fear get to you, of am I doing this because people like it. Yes we should because Allah has bestowed a blessing upon you, and 75% of the time, the sincerity, led to people benefiting…

As I end with…

‘All humans are dead, except those who have knowledge, all those who have knowledge asleep, except those who do good deeds, and those who do good deeds are deceived, except those who are sincere, those who are sincere are always in a state of worry’ Imam Sha’fi

Any good from this, is from Allah and His Taufiq, and any errors are from myself.

I pray Allah gives us the ability to act upon our knowledge, and be amongst the sincere. Ameen….