Commanded to Love: Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII | Part IX | Part X | Part XI | Part XII | Part XIII | Part XIV

We have been commanded to obey him; we have been commanded to respect him; but the key to both these things lies in the fact that we are commanded to love him. This love is more than just mere lip service; it is a love that should encompass our lives. Nothing on this earth should be more dear to our hearts than the blessed Prophet of Allah ﷺ (peace be upon him). This is not simply a recommended emotion; rather it is one that we must feel in our hearts. It is narrated that the Prophet ﷺ said: “None of you will believe until I am more beloved to him than his children, his father and all people.” (Bukhari)

There are many benefits that one can reap by loving Rasulullah (the Prophet of Allah) ﷺ, both in this life and the next.  The Messenger of Allah ﷺ told us that that there are three things which, if one was to take refuge in them, makes one experience the sweetness of faith. We all crave this sweetness, which grants an internal happiness that cannot be matched. This sweetness can be enjoyed in this life, and makes worshiping Allah and striving in His cause much easier and enjoyable. The first of these three things is that Allah and His messenger are more beloved to the believer than anything else (Bukhari). Another benefit that we may receive from wholeheartedly loving the Prophet ﷺ is His companionship in Jannah (paradise). A man came to the Prophet ﷺ and asked, “When will the last Hour come, Oh Messenger of Allah?” The Messenger ﷺ responded, “What have you prepared for it?” The man said, “I have not prepared a lot of prayer nor fasting nor charity for it, but I love Allah and His Messenger.” The Prophet ﷺ then said, “You will be with the one you love.” (Bukhari)

Simply reading the accounts of how the companions loved and expressed their love for the Prophet ﷺ cause one’s emotions to stir in yearning for that nearness of heart to him. It is through their stories that we can find motivation to get to know and learn about him so that we too may love him as they did. Of these stories is that of a man who went to the Prophet ﷺ and declared his love for him, as well as one of his biggest concerns. He said, “Oh Messenger of Allah, I love you more than my family and my possessions. I remember you and I cannot wait until I can come and look at you. I remember that I will die and you will die, and I know that when you enter the Garden, you will be raised up with the Prophets. When I enter it, I will not see you.” It was not enough for this man to just want Jannah; rather his immense love caused him to crave the companionship of his beloved at that time when he could have anything and everything he wanted. It was at this point that Allah revealed, “And whoever obeys Allah and the Messenger – those will be with the ones upon whom Allah has bestowed favor of the prophets, the steadfast affirmers of truth, the martyrs and the righteous. And excellent are those as companions.” (Qur’an, 4:69)

Another heart-gripping story is that of a woman who went to our mother, Aisha, and asked her for permission to see the grave of Rasulullah ﷺ. Aisha took her to the grave and the woman, simply seeing the resting place of the Prophet ﷺ, wept until she died. Allahu akbar (God is the Greatest).

Seeing the immense love of the companions for the Prophet ﷺ can, at times, make us feel discouraged, thinking that we can never reach this level of love having never met him. These are the whispers of Shaytan (Satan) trying to drag us away from one of the most rewarding feelings ever gifted to man. The Prophet ﷺ himself reassures us of this by saying, “Those in my community with the strongest love for me are the people who will come after me. Some of them would give their family and wealth to have seen me.” (Muslim, al-Bukhari)

May Allah cause us to be of those people who would give up our family and wealth to have seen him ﷺ.

It had been an exceptionally hard day for me, about 3 years ago. Everything seemed to be out of place and one thing after another was going wrong. I headed over to the University Center to get a bite to eat—maybe food would calm my nerves. At the time, I had been wearing niqab (the face veil), but that was the least of my worries, or so I thought. As I stood in line to get my food, I glanced behind me and noticed a few Muslim brothers. I was about to extend my salaam (greetings of peace) to them when I caught wind of what they were saying. They were talking about ME! ‘Why does she think she can dress that way? Who does she think she is?!’ On normal days, their comments would have had no effect on me, but on that day, they went straight to my heart. Perhaps their comments were like the straw that broke the camel’s back, because instantly tears began to flow down my face, which of course no one could see. I left the food line, disheartened, and walked away hoping to find a place to be alone and be at peace at last.

I walked for a good 5 minutes, trying to compose myself before I got to my destination. I reached the building I was aiming for and began to walk up the stairs as I felt a tap on my shoulder and a whispered, “Wait!” I turned around and found a woman I didn’t know, panting, trying to catch her breath. I waited until she was able to speak and what she said next took me by complete surprise. She looked me in the eye and said, “I’ve been following you, trying to catch up to you for 5 minutes! I just wanted you to know that I admire your strength in wearing what you believe in. More power to you and may the God you believe in bless you.” And that was it. That’s all she said. She turned around and walked away, without telling me her name or wanting anything from me. Instantly my pain began to melt and I began to smile. It was her kind words that made my day so much brighter. It was her kind words that reminded me why I was doing what I was doing: God. The woman didn’t know how much I needed to hear some sort of uplifting words. She didn’t know that I was having a horrible day, but she saw an opportunity to say something good, and she seized it.

It was on that day that I realized the power of words. The power that our beloved Prophet ﷺ (peace be upon him) was talking about when he said: “Indeed a servant will speak a word pleasing to Allah that he thinks to be insignificant, but because of it Allah raises him by many degrees. And indeed a servant will speak a word displeasing to Allah that he thinks to be insignificant, but because of it, He will consign him to the Hellfire.” So many times we say things that we don’t think through. We don’t think about the effects of our words. Those brothers, whom I hold no grudge against alhamdulilah (praise be to God), probably forgot the conversation they had minutes after I left, not realizing the weight of their words. And that woman probably forgot the conversation we had, minutes after she left, not realizing the weight of her words. But as we can see, years later, I still have not forgotten.

It is through such an example that we can come to think that a word is never too small to be hurtful nor too small to be beneficial. We should consider any word that we speak, out of fear that this word may be the word that causes our ultimate destruction. We should rush to say any kind and helpful word that we can, out of hope that this word will be the cause of our rising in rank. May Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He) cause us to be of those who are raised in rank by our words and never be condemned to hell-fire.

“Handle them carefully, for words have more power than atom bombs.” —Pearl Strachan

Originally published in July 2011

Commanded to Love: Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI |Part VII | Part VIII | Part IX | Part X | Part XI | Part XII | Part XIII | Part XIV

It’s hard, living so far away from a man we love so much. It’s hard, not being able to see his blessed face ourselves, or smell the sweet smell that he was famous for emitting. It’s hard not having witnessed the epitome of human mercy. It’s hard not ever being able to hear his blessed voice reciting the Qur’an. But most of all, it’s hard not knowing—would he love me if he knew me? Take comfort, he loved you more than you could even imagine.

We know that the relationship between our beloved Messenger ﷺ (may the peace and blessings of God be upon him) and his Companions was a very unique relationship. They loved him greatly and it was easy to see that he loved them as well. They believed in the message he brought while many of his people mocked him and belittled him. They were by his side in the tough times, willing to sacrifice their very own lives for him. Often it is easy to wish and crave that we were in their shoes, loving the Prophet ﷺ whole heartedly and being loved.

Our beloved Messenger ﷺ, a few days before the greatest calamity, his very own death, was walking by his Companions (as at this time he had difficulty walking on his own) and uttered words that will fill any Muslim’s heart with joy and comfort. He said to them, ‘I wish that I could meet my brothers.’ At first glance it is easy to assume that he is talking about the previous Prophets or Messengers from the past. The Companions were also confused so they asked him, ‘Are we not your brothers?’ He replied, ‘You are my companions; my brothers are those who will believe in me, without having seen me.’

Allahu Akbar! (God is Great!)

He yearned to meet us. His heart was filled with true love for us: the ones who believe in him yet have not seen him, and if there is one thing we know about his love-it’s that it is not superficial love. There is no greater feeling in this world than to love and to be loved back, now imagine loving the best of creation, and knowing for a fact that he loved you right back. Wa alhamdulillah (and Praise be to God).

May we be included in those whom he speaks about when he says ‘my brothers are those who will believe in me without having seen me’ and may we drink from his blessed hands at the fountain on the Day of Judgment. And most of all, may we be blessed with his blessed companionship in Jannah (Paradise) and never again have to be separated from our beloved, sal Allahu alayhi wa salam.

Originally published in June 2011.

Commanded to Love: Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII | Part IX | Part X | Part XI | Part XII | Part XIII | Part XIV

Many of us have a wide variety of masks that we put on throughout the day depending on whom we are with and what their expectations are. Some of these masks are masks of patience, masks of gratitude, or masks of kindness. But the ones who see the ‘true us’ are those we live with. They see our faults and the side of us that we would never show to the outside world. When talking to the sahaba (Companions) the Prophet ﷺ (peace be upon him) said, ‘The best of you are those whom are best to their families, and I am the best among you to my family’ (Tirmidhi). One of the wisdoms we can take from this is that it’s easy to be kind to people when you only have to see them a few hours a week, or even a few hours a day. It’s easy to put on a smile and make someone feel like they are worth something when you know that the show you are putting on will end soon. But it takes work, effort, and perseverance to keep up that niceness and compassion with the people you see day-in and day-out. It is with your family that your true colors show. Through the narrations and commentary of the wives of the Prophet ﷺ , we know for a fact that he was not one to wear masks nor was he one to be fake and insincere.

One of these narrations is of the time when the Prophet came bursting into the house of our mother, Khadija radi Allahu `anha (may God be pleased with her), seeking refuge from the experience he had just been through and begging her to cover him up. After listening to the story of what had occurred in the cave, which we now know was the beginning of the revelation, Khadija (ra) didn’t rush to call him a mad man, laugh at him, or even feel sorry for him. Rather, she had full confidence that something amazing was happening by the will of Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He) because she knew of his noble qualities. She began to comfort him, reminding him of all the good things that he consistently did, assuring him that there is no way that Allah (swt) would abandon him or allow him to be experiencing this out of madness nor out of possession. She reminded him that he was always good to his relatives, was always true to his word, helped those who were in need, supported the weak, fed his guests and answered the calls of those who were in distress. Had this account of his actions come from extended family or even neighbors, it would be awe-inspiring, but it wouldn’t be as powerful as when it came from the lips of his wife. His wife, a woman who sees him in the different moments of his life, who sees him day and night, who knows him for who he really is when his guard may be down, testifies confidently that he is a man of honor and a man that would never let anyone down.

They say if you really want to know who a man is, ask his wife how he is at home when no strange eyes are watching. Our beloved Prophet ﷺ was the same man behind closed doors as he was in public. His deeds did not change depending on who he was with nor did it change depending on who was watching because he knew that the only One who mattered was Allah (swt), and Allah (swt) could see him no matter where he was. He was not two-faced nor did he switch between different masks. No, the Prophet ﷺ kept it real—no matter where he was.

“I’ve disappointed myself one too many times in my lifetime. Going for the gold, reaching half way, then giving up as if it was nothing…as if it wasn’t worth it. Each time I do this, I’m left staring at my pitiful reflection in the mirror saying, “What the heck is my problem? What is it that I do not understand? Why do I not see Hell-fire in front of me? Why is it that I am so certain while doing these things that I’m going to Jannah (heaven), all the while justifying my idiosyncrasies with excuses galore?”

If we don’t take the time to realize why we commit sins, we may never be able to prevent them. There are many different kinds of mistakes, and pinpointing them makes a world of difference.

The first kind of mistake is that of ignorance. In these mistakes, we do not realize the dangers of disobeying the Creator. In times like these, we should take the advice from those who came before us when they said, “Don’t ever look at the smallness of the sin you are committing, rather realize the magnitude of the One you are sinning against.”

The next kind of sin is that which is done to simply follow one’s desire. We know that the action we are doing is wrong, and we know that we are sinning against the Almighty; yet we still do it out of weakness in controlling our own desires. It is in these matters that we need to gain self-control and self-restraint lest we be deemed of those whom Allah speaks about in the Qur’an when He says:

Have you seen he who has taken as his god his [own] desire, and Allah has sent him astray due to knowledge and has set a seal upon his hearing and his heart and put over his vision a veil? So who will guide him after Allah? Then will you not be reminded? (45:23)

Another type of mistake is that which is known as the “Time Zone” Mistake. This is a sin that is directly influenced by a time or place that one is in. This could range from I only do this mistake if I stay up late at night or I only make this mistake when I go visit my friend at her house. These mistakes are the easiest to prevent if we are able to eliminate our entering the specific “Time Zone.” For example, if hanging out with a certain friend always results in you committing a sin, the best way to prevent that sin is to stop hanging out with that friend. At times, however, we are not able to eliminate the “Time Zone” element from our lives, and in cases like these we should resort to putting forth extra effort during the times that we know we are at risk for a specific sin. And of these “Time Zone” mistakes, there is another which is called the “Companion Mistake.” Our friends influence us greatly and when we are around those who sin, we increase our chance of sinning as well.

The worst of all these sins, however, is that sin which is done openly.  The Prophet ﷺ (peace be upon him) said: “All of my ummah may be forgiven except those who commit sin openly. It is a kind of committing sin openly if a man does something at night, then morning comes and Allah has concealed his sin, but he says, ‘O So and so, I did such and such last night,’ when his Lord has concealed him (his action) all night but in the morning he reveals that which Allah had concealed for him.”

Once these sins have been recognized, there are some steps that need to be taken. I have heard people say many different things about what to do after a sin is committed, but I find that the six-step remedy is the most comprehensive. These six steps include:

1. Admitting your mistake;
2. Repenting to Allah;
3. NOT MAKING EXCUSES;
4. Being serious about seeking change;
5. Always realizing the result of the sin;
6. And not being a candle – giving light to others and burning yourself.

In the end, we should realize that a doctor is not a doctor because she claimed to be. A surgeon is not a surgeon because she said she’s good with her hands. A teacher is not a teacher because she said, ‘I can teach.’ They first have to take a series of exams, and not everyone passes.

Do the people think that they will be left to say, “We believe” and they will not be tried? (29:2)

May Allah cause us to be of those who see our mistakes and fix them, and of those who see other people’s mistakes and help them through it.

I recently moved to a country in which cat-calls and invasive comments (in certain areas) have become a part of the norm. While walking down the street, it is expected that a girl will be commented at and called out for anything she is wearing. But that’s not the part that was strange to me. What really stood out to me was the fact that these men would make these comments as if they were entitled to say these things. As if the mere existence of a woman gives them the pure right to say (but not do) whatever pleases them. It was almost as if the message behind their words was actually “If we don’t look at them, and comment at them, what’s the use of having them around?”

At first, when analyzing the situation, I thought it was a young male problem. I thought that perhaps these youth just hadn’t matured yet or hadn’t realized the manners in which a woman should be dealt with. But then I realized that wasn’t the case. It was more than that. I began to notice that some of the women would actually take pride in getting commented at (and I don’t mean corny-at times funny-pick up lines, I mean full out disgusting comments). I also witnessed grown women laughing and nodding approvingly at men whistling at “nice looking” women. As a woman, it is natural to want to look attractive. It’s in a woman’s nature to want to look nice and feel nice. But is that the same thing as wanting to be looked at by strange men? Is it the same thing as wanting to be ogled at and commented at by men who have no relation or duties toward us?

I was perplexed at first, but then I realized that this was a much bigger problem than what I first thought. It was a problem of self-worth and self-definition. And I began to realize that this problem is not just one that lies within the culture that I was witnessing first hand, but also in our entire lives as women. So many of us women have begun to define who we are by the comments from others, the pleasure of others, the opinion of others; so many of us have forgotten where our true worth lies. It’s like there’s an emptiness inside that we scramble around trying to fill in any way possible even if that way is normally degrading and humiliating. And the sad part is we don’t even realize that that is what we are doing. And we don’t realize that the approval of God or focusing on the approval of God would fill up that aching emptiness better and faster than any of those comments that are received on the streets or in restaurants or even just that look in someone’s eyes. Our validation should come from one source, and one source alone. Charles Upton beautifully sums up this concept in his book Virtues of the Prophet by reminding us that “If we know for certain that God sees all we do and all we are, we will not be tempted to ask others to validate us by displaying our virtues, nor will we tempt others to judge us by displaying our sins. Only God can validate us; only God can judge.”

When we go out seeking the approval of others we are not only harming ourselves but we are making relationships and normal interactions difficult. We are allowing our own intimate space to be invaded and by doing that, we are actually invading the personal space of others. But if we are self-sufficient and we know that no matter what is said or done, when we walk out the door, our self-worth comes only for God, we allow ourselves and others to actually experience life. Charles Upton says that “this is the root of Courtesy. If we are not just intellectually but also emotionally certain that we are always in the presence of God, if we understand that He has first claim on our intimacy, then we will not demand absolute intimacy from others, which is something that no-one can really give. We will no longer try to command other people’s attention; we will stop prying into their affairs.” When we grant ourselves the courtesy of intimacy only with God, we naturally grant this courtesy to others.

But I also realized that the issue of women’s self-definition/self worth is not the only problem. The problem is also in some men, (note: I said some men. This does not pertain to all men just as my comments about women do not pertain to all women), in the sense that they feel like they have the right to look, the right to comment and the right to be pleased by anyone in their presence. They act as if they are the center of the universe and women are placed in this world simply as an enjoyment to them. I was once riding in a taxi with some family members and the (older) driver began to explain the concept to one of my male relatives. He explained, in what in his mind was a fact, that “when you look at a car and make comments about a beautiful car, what do you take from it? Nothing. What hurt comes out of it? Nothing. You are simply admiring it and making it known that you admire it. It’s the same thing with women: as long as we don’t touch, it’s not a problem.” And the truth is that this absurdity is not the problem that must be fixed, it is a symptom of an ever bigger problem: distance from God. Charles Upton addresses this issue highlighting the root of this evil, and similar evils: “To ogle and peep at other people, whether or not this is sexually motivated, is to treat them as objects. It is to say, in effect, ‘I am the one who is real, the one who is conscious; this other one only exists through my consciousness of him; he is not a person in his own right; he is nothing but a part of my experience.’ When a given society loses its belief in God, or at least its concrete sense that God is actually watching, people turn each other into objects in just this way. We forget that we are dependent for our very existence upon God’s attention to us; we treat our separate individuality, our ego, as if it were God. And when we no longer experience ourselves as dependent upon God, we become dependent upon each other for our very feeling of existence. We include the other within the circle of our ego as if he or she were a personal possession, and then demand that the other do the same with us. All this is a violation of Modesty. In the Prophet’s words, ‘Allah has mercy on the slave who feels true modesty in the face of his Lord, who protects his mind and what it perceives.”

In the end, this is what this well-rounded group of issues comes down to: we have forgotten our dependency upon God. We have forgotten that regardless of the opinion of man, if we don’t have the approval of God, our time has been wasted. We have forgotten that our self-worth is to be based purely on our relationship with the creator. And because we have forgotten this big part of our lives, we have begun to scramble around like a lost puppy searching for his mother, taking any kind of validation we can get from anyone who wants to give it. We try to get our humanity from the words, gazes, and comments of others. We try to feel alive by the opinion of others. And this, in and of itself, is a recipe for disaster because we will never please everyone. When we place our lives in the hands of the creation, we will live in a constant roller coaster—moving left and right with the whims of others. But when we place our lives in the hands of our Creator, our lives will then begin to even out. Our emotional state will not be based on the unstable opinion of humankind, but will be based on the stable opinion of the Ever-Lasting Creator. And really and truly, He’s the only one that matters anyway.

Her life was falling apart before her very eyes. She spoke to me about the catastrophes that she was going through—slammed with one trial after another. “Nothing is going right,” she had told me that night, “Nothing.” And I had to admit her life was rough. Things looked like they kept going from bad to worse in her life. There was no light at the end of her tunnel, not even a flashlight in her tunnel for her to carry, at least at first glance. But the truth is, there was plenty of light in her life, even it was not apparent to her nor to me at first glance. And this is the truth for all of us going through hardships. We just need to know where to look.

Often times in our lives we go through hardships and we begin to believe that everything is going wrong in every portion of our lives, but the truth is, that is the farthest thing from the truth. God has gifted us with many different blessings that can only be seen if we turn a grateful eye to these things and acknowledge their truths. Just like when one is in love, they only see the good, when we are in hardship we tend to only see the bad, and that only furthers our feelings of helplessness and despair.

Take, for example, the simple blessings of life that we experience every day, like the blessing of hot water. People in many places around the world don’t have the convenience of turning on their faucets and having warm water come out on the coldest of days. Don’t think it’s much? Try waiting for a cold day, turn off your heater and take a cold shower. Now imagine having to do this day in and day out without a choice? Imagine having to make wudu’ (ablution) every morning at fajr (morning prayer) in freezing cold water. Imagine how much irritation that may bring. And then thank Him for the blessing He gave us that we often take advantage of without thinking twice.

Another example is that of our kitchen stove, that turns on at the click of a button. Imagine not having that stove of yours in your kitchen. Imagine not being able to cook or warm your food with ease. Imagine having to, on a daily basis, walk outside and build a fire, perhaps gathering wood first, in order to feed yourself and your family. It would be tough, wouldn’t it? But how many times have we stopped and thanked God for our stove-tops and turn-knob buttons?

Lastly, but definitely not least, take a moment and think about your nose (YES your nose!). Have you ever stopped to think about what life would feel like if God had not gifted you and blessed you with a nose? Have you thought about how difficult it would be to enjoy food? We would not be able to enjoy the smell of baking cookies in the oven, or the smell of sweet perfume. We would not be able to smell the flowers as we walked past, or smell a yucky smell that warns us of something in our vicinity. But have we ever stopped to thank God for what He has given us regardless of our ingratitude.

These are just a few examples of the lights that God has gifted us that we graze over on a daily basis, though we never forget to dwell on (what seem like) misfortunes. We think that everything is going wrong, but really what is going wrong is our lack of perception of all of those things that are going right. So next time you feel stuck in a dark hole with no light in sight, don’t simply just wait for the light at the end of the tunnel; turn on your own flashlight by pinpointing the daily gifts that our Lord has gifted us and actually being happy that you have them and actually take the time to thank Him. He has already filled our lives with His Love and His Light, if only we take the time to open our eyes and realize it.

I thought about you this week when I was struggling. I thought about you again this week when I was reading a verse of the Qur’an. I thought about you again this week when reading an explanation of a verse in the Qur’an.

I thought about you this week.

I made a prayer for you this week.

I sent you loving thoughts this week.

You may be truly alone, or you may have no verbal explanation for this deep down ache that you constantly feel. You may be surrounded by people, everywhere you go. You may never get a moment to yourself, to be physically alone…yet still, you are a lonely soul.

And with that being said, I wanted to reach out today and tell you that YOU may be a special friend of God. Even if it feels like God has not given you all that you feel you need, believe me: He has given you more. And YOU may be a special friend of God.

Because when I think of you, dear lonely soul, I can’t help but remember the Prophet ﷺ (peace be unto him)—who was born, quite lonely. From the start he was born an orphan, and soon after his birth his mother passed away. No human can fully replace the presence of a loving mother and father in a child’s life. Yet this was not a sign that God did not love him. On the contrary, he is the most beloved of all creation to the Lord of the worlds. And he was born, lonely.

And when I think of you, dear lonely soul, I can’t help but remember the companions. Stranded. They were a small group, compared to the disbelievers at one time. When they accepted Islam they were promised that they would have khair maqaam, the best of states—in this world and the next. But their beginning did not seem this way. After their spiritual birth, they were pushed away and cursed by the people. They were made fun of and cut off. They were made to feel like they were outcasts, within their own tribe and people (and this was originally their support system in life). Not only that, but the disbelievers knew exactly how to dig the dagger deep: they called them out on this promise that God had made them. They looked to the Muslims and reminded them that God had told them they would have the best of states, yet this was not what was apparent.

And anyone who knows what being lonely feels like, knows this is not a small claim to say. Anyone who knows what being lonely feels like, knows that this statement itself could cause a lonely soul to, well, break.

What was the response to this? Was this claim ignored, leaving the seeds of doubt to be planted into the hearts of the people? Were the believers warned that if they would even dare to feel pain from such a statement they would have committed shirk/kufr/bidah (polytheism/disbelief/religious innovation)—or whatever other words we like to throw around so easily today?

No.

The response was a divine revelation—a verse of the Holy Qur’an came down upon our beloved Prophet ﷺ, a verse of Divine comfort.

“On those who believe and work deeds of righteousness will (Allah) Most Gracious bestow Love.” (Qur’an, 19:96)

This verse came down to comfort and reassure the companions and the Prophet ﷺ that God would place love for them in the hearts of the people. They would have a safe, strong and comforting community. They would have their high status.

And here is where I thought of you even more, dear lonely soul. In his commentary, Ibn Ajiba radi Allahu `anhu (may Allah be pleased with him) adds a few gems to warm the heart and soul. A dose of hope. He says that it is the custom of God (sunnah of God), when dealing with His special friends of the creation, to allow creation to be against them or distant from them. He allows even this special friend’s close circles to feel distant from them or sometimes worse. And contrary to our first assumption, this is all out of God’s mercy for His special friend. Why? So that this special friend of God comes closer and closer to Him. So that this special friend finds his or her internal home only in God. And once his or her heart is fully attached to God, and purified from seeking a home in anyone else, God opens the proverbial floodgates of love in the hearts of others for him or her. Suddenly, the once lonely soul is surrounded by more people they could imagine. But by this time, the once lonely soul is no longer lonely anyway, because that lonely spot in their heart, that was once aching and screaming, has already been filled with a beautiful relationship between God and this very special friend.

And so, dear lonely soul, I pray that this is the case for you. I pray that God takes your situation and causes it to be a means for you to return to Him in heart and soul, and that you truly do fulfill your potential of being His special friend.

And you can pray for that too. Ask Him to take your pain and make it a healing. Take your pain and make it of ultimate benefit for your relationship with Him. And when you ask Him, know He will respond. He will answer your plea. He has already promised that.

                                                                                                            With Love,

                                                                                                            Reehab

Today, many of the acts of worship have been downgraded to merely the skeleton. They have lost the soul that breathes into us the actual intent behind our existence: knowing God. When done correctly, every act of worship, seemingly big or small, is actually a means for us to know God. To come closer to our actual purpose in this life. In the Qur’an, God says, “And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me,” (Qur’an, 51:56). While oftentimes the words “worship me” are understood as merely the physical acts of worship, it is said that the verse actually has the implied meaning “to know Me.” Worship here is mentioned, because it is through worship, that God makes Himself known to us. ((Imam Jaafir As Sadiq quoted in Tafseer ibn Ajiba, Surat Adh-Dhariyaat verse 56))

Of these acts of worship that lead us to know God is fasting. Fasting outside of Ramadan, but even more so during the month of Ramadan. There are many ways that fasting can actually increase our knowledge of God, but the one I want to focus on is rooted in the Islamic tradition that is often repeated: The one who knows oneself, knows one’s Lord. And what is Ramadan if not a month-long school in getting to know yourself?

During Ramadan we come face to face with ourselves. The strong devils are chained up, so we cannot blame them anymore. We set out to experience a month-long change of schedule, of pushing away that which is, in any other case, permissible. We do away with our daily coffee fix and our comfort foods when we are upset. We leave our stomachs empty, while still trying to carry on day-to-day interactions. And sometimes, well sometimes that gets hard. Sometimes we get agitated. Sometimes we get jittery. Sometimes the lack of sugar and water causes what feels like brain exploding migraines and off-balance dizziness. And through all this discomfort, we still try to remember what Ramadan is all about. We try to stay merciful. We try not to engage in needless debates. We try not to snap at our family when they too are not feeling so well. We try to continue going to work and putting on a great big energetic smile, that may (especially at the beginning of the month) slide off our faces by the time `asr time (afternoon prayer) comes around.

And through this we realize our dependency. We realize our weakness. We realize how a change in schedule (of eating in this case) can affect us so much. And we realize how much we actually need God in every moment of our lives, from keeping our mouths shut to keeping our pockets filled with enough money to put food on the table. And it is in this moment of realization that we should think of one of the meanings of the name of God As-Samad ((To read more about As-Samad read As-Samad: The Eternal Refuge)) . He is the Eternal Refuge, and one of the meanings we get from this name is that He is unchanging—He does not eat nor does He drink. He does not need nourishment, nor does He change actions based on anything He is dependent on, because He is NOT dependent on anything. He is ever-constant, while we—we are not.

But that is not the only thing we learn about ourselves during this month. We also learn what we can do. We learn that during this month we can push away things that normally would be difficult. We realize that we do have time for Qur’an in our daily schedule, even though we usually think we are just too busy. We realize that we can be nice even when we just want to be mean and rude. We realize that we do have that extra buck to spare for someone who actually needs it. And when we realize this we have to realize why, suddenly, in Ramadan we have figured that out. It is not because we become superheroes during this month. It is not because we make a conscious, active decision that we would do this for a month (even though it may sometimes seem that way). It is because God sends down blessings during this month in a nafaha (divine breeze), and makes things easier for us to do acts of worship and good deeds. And knowing this, we also know that the Lord of Ramadan is the Lord of all the other months. And so if we want our actions, outside of Ramadan, to be just as filled with blessings, we have that option. All we have to do, is ask. Ask the Lord of Ramadan to make all our days like our Ramadan days. To ask the Lord of laylat al qadr to make all our nights like laylat al qadr. Ask the Lord who willed for me to be a companion of the Qur’an inside of Ramadan, to make me the companion of the Qur’an outside of Ramadan. And have certainty that He is capable of all things.

And this is just a brief snapshot of the school that this month actually is. Take a moment every day to think about what you learned about yourself during this day, and then take it a step further. Think about this knowledge you have of yourself, and then get to know your Lord. And remember, again, the one who knows oneself, knows one’s Lord.

Let’s take a trip to a time long ago and extract wisdom from a wise man we all look up to and admire. Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He) told us his story, not as a bed-time comfort, but as a means for us to extract life-long lessons. Let’s not overlook his story; let’s dive in and live the parts of his story that we can, admire and learn from the parts that we can’t.

At that blessed time long ago, Allah subhanahu wa ta’la (exalted is He) spoke to this amazing creation, Musa `alayhi sallatu wa sallam (may God send His peace and blessings on him). Imagine. Allah (swt) spoke to Musa (as) Himself. Allah!

In this blessed conversation, Allah (swt) shows Musa what can happen when one has Allah (swt) on his side. He teaches him a valuable lesson about the power of Allah (swt) above creation. He takes a simple stick and produces an unimaginable miracle, then takes a simple hand and again produces an unimaginable miracle (see Surah Taha, Qur’an 20). He shows Musa that with Allah (swt) on his side, even when one thinks they have nothing, He can make them have everything.

After Allah (swt) shows him a glimpse of his Lord’s unimaginable power, Allah (swt) then gives him a heavy task. A task that many would shy away from, especially if they thought they would be in it alone. Musa on the other hand knew that he had Allah (swt) by His side, and that the results and effects would be from Allah (swt) alone.

Allah (swt) says:

“Go to Pharaoh. Indeed, he has transgressed.”

[Moses] said, “My Lord, expand for me my breast [with assurance]

And ease for me my task

And untie the knot from my tongue

That they may understand my speech.”

Musa doesn’t abandon the task that his Lord has given him, rather he asks for His assistance, first and foremost. Then Musa does something profound, that we often times overlook:

Allah (swt) tells us that Musa says:

“And appoint for me a minister from my family—

Aaron, my brother.

Increase through him my strength

And let him share my task

That we may exalt You much

And remember You much.

Indeed, You are of us ever Seeing.”

[Allah] said, “You have been granted your request, O Moses.” (Qur’an, 20:24-36)

What does Musa do? He asks for a companion and then he tells us exactly what a true friend is. Often times we try to ride the waves of life alone, or we depend too much on our friends. But just like everything else in this religion, the middle ground is the smoothest for sailing. While asking His Lord for a companion, Musa laid out a rubric for us to live by when choosing our close companions.

Let’s take a look at the qualities that Musa (as) has recommended for a close companion:

“Increase, through him, my strength”

The first thing that we should look for in a friend is that they should make us stronger human beings. They should be someone that we trust will help us when we are at our low points and that we won’t feel self-conscious with when seeking help. But the key here to notice is that when we are strengthened by our friends, we should keep in mind that it is not really our friend that has made us strong, rather Allah (swt) has strengthened us through our friend.

“And let him share my task”

Next, Musa (as) asks that he be granted a companion so that he can “share in his task.” Often times we try to go through life alone and we try to do everything on our own. In another extreme, we may try to get our friends to take our own life decisions and lay our tasks fully on their shoulders. Through this description, we get the true essence of what we should do. Our friends should be people that are capable and willing to share in our tasks. They should be people we can trust to bounce ideas off of and to help us along the way. We shouldn’t try to wander through life and carry the entire burden ourselves, nor should we lay our tasks fully on other’s shoulders—the moderate path is the key.

“That we may exalt You much and remember you much. Indeed, You are of us ever Seeing.”

Musa (as) ends this rubric with the most important point—the purpose of companionship and friendship. He asks Allah (swt) to grant Him his brother as his companion so that they would exalt Him and remember Him. In essence, he is asking that his companion bring Him closer to God, encourages him to remember God, and that in this companionship they never forget that Allah (swt) is watching them. This is the most essential part of any friendship. The friendship should bring us closer to God, never farther. The companionship should encourage us to do more good for the sake of Allah (swt), never distract us from it. And throughout these friendships, in good and bad moments, we should never forget that Allah (swt) is always watching us and can see our every move.

May Allah bless us all with friends who surround us, who strengthen us (by the will of God), who share in our burden, and who remind us of God. Ameen.