But some of us will not be able to take part in all the things that make this month so special.

Some of us may have to take medicines or are anemic or are going through a difficult pregnancy and cannot fast.

Some of us may be bedridden for a large part of the month and will not be able to pray taraweeh (Ramadan night prayer).
And some of us may be so ill that we cannot even lift the Qur’an to recite it.

But it is easy to compare ourselves to others, or to our old selves, and it easy to confuse means for ends. What makes fasting, praying taraweeh, and reciting the Qur’an so special are not the actions in and of themselves, but rather that they are done in obedience to Allah (swt) and in hope of His mercy, love and rewards. They are the means, and God’s pleasure is the ends.

For example, fasting is forbidden on the days of Eid. An act that has so much virtue as both an obligatory act during Ramadan and a voluntary one outside of Ramadan actually becomes a sin on the days of Eid. Not fasting during those days becomes an act of worship and obedience, and thus an action that brings us closer to the Most High.

Remember that at the very essence, it is your intention that is important. Had you been in good health, you would have fasted and done all the things that your health permitted. The Prophet ﷺ described two men: one man whom God has bestowed upon wealth and knowledge, and he acts upon that knowledge and gives from his wealth; and another man whom God has given knowledge but no wealth, and that man says, “If I had the wealth he had, I would do the same”. The Prophet ﷺ said “And they are rewarded the same”. (Ibn Majah)

So when you see the people and think, “If I was ok, I would be fasting this month,” or when your family leaves the house to pray taraweeh and you say, “I wish I could have been with you,” you are rewarded exactly the same as those who are doing the actions. In the eyes of God, you are just as special as the person praying all night; as the person completing the Qur’an; as the one who is thirsty and tired from his fast.

Moreover, you have a special relationship with Allah (swt) through your illness. The Prophet ﷺ tells us, “No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allah expiates some of his sins for that,” (Bukhari). In another narration, a companion visited the Prophet ﷺ when he was ill. The Prophet ﷺ told him: “No Muslim is afflicted with any harm but that Allah will remove his sins as the leaves of a tree fall down,”  (Bukhari).

Thus you are in the realm of God’s forgiveness as you are ill. Moreover, there is a different type of need for God when we fall all. The Prophet Job called to Allah (swt) in his illness:

“Indeed, adversity has touched me, and you are the Most Merciful of the merciful.” (Qur’an, 21:83)

Your calling to Him in your illness is a form of worship, one that many others may never experience. Moreover, any patience that you show is appreciated by Allah (swt). He tells us in the Qur’an: “Indeed, the patient will be given their reward without account.” (Qur’an, 39:10)

Remember that the point of worship is not to break you, but to build you. Once the Prophet ﷺ walked into the mosque and saw a rope hanging in between its two pillars. He asked, “What is this rope?” The people said, “This rope is for Zainab who, when she feels tired, holds it (to keep standing for the prayer.)” The Prophet ﷺ said, “Do not use it. Remove the rope. You should pray as long as you feel active, and when you get tired, sit down.” (Bukhari)

Whatever actions you are able to do, no matter how small they appear to be, can only be truly quantified by God Himself. Allah (swt) will not judge you for the actions that you were not able to do, and it would be a distraction to focus on them. Rather if you can do other things – supplications, remembrance, charity – God will reward you for your seeking alternative ways to come close to Him. And even if you cannot do anything at all, Allah (swt) knows; the Most Generous rewards you for what you would have done.

And if your heart still aches because you actually love to worship Allah (swt) through fasting or taraweeh or Qur’an and you are unable, your love for that act of worship is loved by God, who rewards you for that love. A man was asked why he recited Surat al-Ikhlas in every prayer – something that we might criticize him for because it is a ‘short’ surah (chapter) – but he responded that, “It is because this surah describes the Most Merciful, and therefore I love to recite it.” Upon hearing the man’s reply, the Prophet said: “Tell that man that Allah loves him.” (Bukhari and Muslim)

Your love for certain acts of worship is appreciated and loved by God.

So if you are going through this Ramadan in illness, remember that you, too, are loved by Allah (swt). Even when you cannot take part in the actions of this month, Allah’s mercy, love and forgiveness descend upon you like they do for the fasting person, the one in night prayer, and the Qur’an reciter. You are with them in rank.

On one Friday, he was suddenly hit by a novel idea. “Why don’t I just try Friday prayer today? Just to see what it’s like? I’ll just try it,” the man thought. He came in late to the masjid; The Khatib (speaker) was already speaking. As the man was looking for a place to sit, he heard the words of the Khatib, “The Prophet ﷺ (peace be upon him) has told us:

كلمتان خفيفتان على اللسان ، ثقيلتان في الميزان، حبيبتان إلى الرحمن: سبحان الله وبحمده، سبحان الله العظيم

“Two words are light on the tongue, heavy in the balance, beloved to the Merciful: ‘Glory be to Allah and by His praise. Glory be to Allah, the Immense.’” (Bukhari)

The man, preoccupied with having just entered and finding a place to sit, only heard a few of the Khatib’s words. He sat, perplexed, turning the fragmented words over and over in his mind, “Kalimatan (two words)… habibatan (both beloved)… ila-Rahman (to The Merciful)… Subhan Allahi wa bihamdi (Glory be to Allah and by His praise)… Subhan Allah il-`atheem (Glory be to Allah, the Immense).” He had lost complete focus on the rest of the khutbah (sermon), overtaken by these words he had heard in passing, working hard to make sense of what the words could possibly mean.

After the prayer, he approached the Khatib directly. “Is all what you’ve said in the khutbah today true?” he questioned. Surprised, the Khatib responded, “I’ve said quite a bit in the khutbah today. To what specifically are you referring?” The man replied, “You said some words… Kalimatan… habibatan… ila–Rahman… Subhan Allahi wa bi hamdih, subhan Allah il-`atheem.”

The Khatib smiled in recognition. “Yes, those are in fact from a blessed hadith (narration) from The Truthful himself ﷺ. He told us:

 كلمتان خفيفتان على اللسان ، ثقيلتان في الميزان، حبيبتان إلى الرحمن: سبحان الله وبحمده، سبحان الله العظيم

“Two words are light on the tongue, heavy in the balance, beloved to the Merciful: ‘Glory be to Allah and by His praise. Glory be to Allah, the Immense.’” (Bukhari)

The man stood, overwhelmed, awestruck, in a daze. The words had penetrated through his heart and embraced his soul. Captivated, he continued to repeat the hadith of the Prophet ﷺ over and over to himself:

كلمتان خفيفتان على اللسان ، ثقيلتان في الميزان، حبيبتان إلى الرحمن: سبحان الله وبحمده، سبحان الله العظيم

“Two words are light on the tongue, heavy in the balance, beloved to the Merciful: ‘Glory be to Allah and by His praise. Glory be to Allah, the Immense.’”

He walked out of the masjid in a trance and left for his home. Upon entering, he gathered his wife and children. “Have you heard,” he began to tell them, “the words of the Prophet ﷺ? He has told us:

كلمتان خفيفتان على اللسان ، ثقيلتان في الميزان، حبيبتان إلى الرحمن: سبحان الله وبحمده، سبحان الله العظيم

“Two words are light on the tongue, heavy in the balance, beloved to the Merciful: ‘Glory be to Allah and by His praise. Glory be to Allah, the Immense.’”

From that moment, the man transformed. From his home, he would leave to work, from his work, he would go straight to the Masjid, and from the Masjid, he would immediately go back home to his wife and children. All the while, two words kept his lips moving and his tongue wet with remembrance, “Subhan Allahi wa bihamdi, Subhan Allah il-`atheem.”

Soon, his friends from the Hookah Café noticed his continued absence. They came to his apartment one day. “Where have you been?” they asked. “We haven’t seen you smokin’ hookah with us for a while.”

A beautiful, wistful look came over the man’s face. “Haven’t you heard?” He replied to his old crew from the café, “The Prophet ﷺ has told us:

كلمتان خفيفتان على اللسان ، ثقيلتان في الميزان، حبيبتان إلى الرحمن: سبحان الله وبحمده، سبحان الله العظيم

“Two words are light on the tongue, heavy in the balance, beloved to the Merciful: ‘Glory be to Allah and by His praise. Glory be to Allah, the Immense.’”

And this is how he spent his days; reminding his family, his friends, those in the masjid and those who passed by in the streets, about the beloved words to Allah, those heavy words on the scale, those words light on the tongue, “Subhan Allahi wa bihamdi, subhan Allah il-`atheem.” The man had gone from a person who never prayed, spent little time with family and frequented the house of hookah instead of the House of Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He), to a person who longed for Allah (swt), whose eyes were filled with tears, whose tongue, heart, and soul burned with the inscription:

كلمتان خفيفتان على اللسان ، ثقيلتان في الميزان، حبيبتان إلى الرحمن: سبحان الله وبحمده، سبحان الله العظيم

“Two words are light on the tongue, heavy in the balance, beloved to the Merciful: ‘Glory be to Allah and by His praise. Glory be to Allah, the Immense.’”

Soon, he fell ill. It had only been a few months since he had gone to the masjid, since he had first heard the beloved words of the Prophet ﷺ by the Khatib in a Jumu`ah (Friday) khutbah. He told his son to go and to ask the Masjid administration to call upon that very Khatib to come visit him in his illness.

When he was informed, the Khatib remembered the man immediately and rushed to his apartment. Upon being let in, he saw the man, sleeping in his bed, the doctor sitting at his side. The Khatib sat at the foot of the bed and waited for the man to awaken. Finally, the man stirred and he noticed, at the foot of his bed, the very Khatib who had related the beloved, noble words of the Prophet ﷺ.

The man looked at the Khatib. He then asked him, “Have you heard? The Prophet ﷺ has told us:

كلمتان خفيفتان على اللسان ، ثقيلتان في الميزان، حبيبتان إلى الرحمن: سبحان الله وبحمده، سبحان الله العظيم

“Two words are light on the tongue, heavy in the balance, beloved to the Merciful: ‘Glory be to Allah and by His praise. Glory be to Allah, the Immense.’”

With that, the man passed away.

The Khatib in this story is the teacher of my Arabic teacher. My Arabic teacher related this incident to me and continued to stress that it wasn’t a story from books of the past, it wasn’t a story coined to tug hearts, it was the true story of a man who was completely disconnected from Allah (swt), but to whom Allah (swt) gave a passing thought to enter the masjid, and who Allah (swt) blessed with hearing the words of the Prophet ﷺ at a time and in a way which truly impacted his soul and final actions in life.

My teacher then told me, “The Prophet ﷺ has said: ‘Convey from me, even if it’s just one ayah [verse]…’” (Bukhari).

We never know what word or action, done with a sincere intention, will truly be a means of impacting another person’s life to come back to Allah (swt).

Let’s stop judging people; let’s stop driving people out of mosques because “we” deem their dress, their swagger, their accessories, or language as something “unsuitable” to the House of God. Let’s stop assuming they’ll never be guided to “our righteous path” (since we’re so righteous, we guided our own selves, right?) and thus resolve to harsh words or disapproving stares. Perhaps those who “we” think are far from Allah (swt) will pass in a more honorable, beloved state to the One Who guides.

Let us be the first to cling to the beloved words to Allah (swt), “Subhan Allahi wa bihamdih, subhan Allah il-`atheem,” and let us warmly, sincerely and smile-fully be a means of helping ourselves and others come back to Allah (swt)—with His Power and Mercy—through relating the beautiful words of Allah (swt) and His Prophet ﷺ, through action and speech. We never know what small, miniscule act, may be a means of guidance for ourselves and another, and a means of possibly entering jannatul firdose al `alaa bi ghayri hisaab—The Highest Paradise, without any reckoning.

May Allah (swt) bless this man’s soul. Subhan Allah—if he had died like any other person who knows about the obligation of prayer and lazily defies praying, we would never know his story—he’d just be another person who passed away in another country, a person we may have never even known existed..

But perhaps because of his repentance and his sincere coming back to Allah (swt), Allah has blessed us with coming to know of him—so that his actions will continue to be rewarded even while he’s in his grave, every single time any one of us, because of his story, even across the world, remember to say, “Subhan Allahi wa bihamdi, subhan Allah il-`atheem.”

What will you do—so sincerely—that Allah (swt) will bless people with being transformed because of you, even after you’ve passed on?

Photo: Matt Carman

Originally posted in 2007.

What do you think of when you see a Muslim doing something considered wrong?

Ever look down on them? Think you are better than them? It’s really easy to be self-righteous. It’s even easier to fall prey to this attitude if you sport the outer ‘righteous’ look.

But let’s ask ourselves this question: has Allah written us amongst His righteous servants? Or is that a title we have only given ourselves?

Check this:

I was once sitting at the da`wah (outreach) table on my college campus and a female student approached it. She asked if she could have a Qur’an, and of course, I was happy to give one to her. Then she said, “Can I ask you a question?”  The question sounded kind of deep, so I invited her to sit next to me on the empty chair. She took up the offer.

“Please don’t judge me,” she began. SubhanAllah (glory be to God)! The courage it must have taken for her to come and speak to me, for her to begin with that statement.

After reassuring her, how could I judge her? She began—

She told me that she was Muslim and she became involved in a relationship for the first time in her life with a Muslim guy. Her intention was for long term, but she felt so terrible doing it. She told me when she is with her boyfriend, she feels horrible, even though she thinks she is supposed to feel good. She told me that she knows that this is such a big sin, that she wants to stop, but that it is just so, so hard. And she asked me: Can Allah forgive me?

While this girl was speaking, I was looking at her thinking: look at the struggle she is going through for the sake of God. She hates what she is doing because she knows it’s something He would not be pleased with, she wants so much for God to forgive her, but it is so hard for her to leave what she knows she shouldn’t do.

Her desire to repent became so intense that she came to me, a girl she has never even seen before, who could easily judge her, and poured out her heart. She was so desperate in her wanting to know: Could Allah forgive her? Could He really forgive such a sin?

I told her—man, God is THE MOST MERCIFUL! He will forgive ANYTHING when you turn to Him! I kept telling her about God’s Mercy, about how He is so, so happy to accept the repentance of His creation.

We kept talking about how God must be pleased with her internal struggle because she clearly wants to gain His pleasure despite her difficulty. We looked at the Holy Hadith, where God talks about us and says:

“O child of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O child of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O child of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as it.” (Ahmad)

She was overwhelmed with emotion. I then shared with her a supplication that, if said with firm belief in the morning or evening, and if death happens on that day or night, the person who said it would be amongst the people of Paradise.

The Prophet ﷺ (peace be upon us) taught us the chief supplication (sayyidul istighfaar) of asking for forgiveness as follows:

اللَّهُمَّ أَنْتَ رَبِّي لا إِلَهَ إِلا أَنْتَ خَلَقْتَنِي وَأَنَا عَبْدُكَ وَأَنَا عَلَى عَهْدِكَ وَوَعْدِكَ مَا اسْتَطَعْتُ أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ شَرِّ مَا صَنَعْتُ أَبُوءُ لَكَ بِنِعْمَتِكَ عَلَيَّ وَأَبُوءُ لَكَ بِذَنْبِي فَاغْفِرْ لِي فَإِنَّهُ لا يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ إِلا أَنْتَ

Allahumma anta rabbi, la ilaha illa anta, khalaqtani wa ana abduka [if you’re a male]/amatuk [if you’re a female], wa ana ‘ala `ahdika wa wa`dika mastata`tu. A`udhu bika min sharri ma sana`tu, abu’u laka bini`matika ‘alaiya, wa abu’u laka bidhanbi, faghfirli, fainnahu la yaghfiru adhdhunuba illa ant.

O Allah! You are my Lord! None has the right to be worshipped but You. You created me and I am Your slave, and I am faithful to my covenant and my promise as much as I can. I seek refuge with You from all the evil I have done. I acknowledge before You all the blessings You have bestowed upon me, and I confess to You all my sins. So I entreat You to forgive my sins, for nobody can forgive sins except You. (Bukhari)

And of course, the most intimate way of feeling close to Allah is to come to Him, from the depths of one’s heart, in the language easiest for oneself, with the words coming from one’s own soul, asking for His forgiveness.

Reflect

I want you to go back to your original answer when I first posed the question. What would you be thinking of someone you see doing something you feel is wrong?

Yes, in that moment, that person might be outwardly sinning if that is what they are doing, but perhaps internally they are struggling and fighting every time they commit the sin, and are continually seeking to turn back to God. Perhaps in some people’s eyes, this person is a ‘sinner’ (and who amongst us is not?). But perhaps in the Sight of Allah, they are more beloved to Him because of their sincere struggle, than those of us who can easily fall into feeling arrogant about our Islamic activism, our Islamic appearance, or our ‘hard-core’ connection with Rabb il`alameen  (the Lord of the Worlds). We need to be careful. Are we really connected? Am I really connected?

And don’t get me wrong: the struggle of those who are trying to stay upright and please God Almighty is a weighty, honorable and noble one.

But for those of us who might have ‘been there’ and left it, and then feel arrogant that we’re no longer involved in the “ways of the sinners,” and perhaps even might feel better than others because we’re so pure and special, then my advice to myself is what Omar  radi allahu `anhu (may God be pleased with him) advised, “Take account of yourselves before you are audited.”

Or in the words of Ice Cube, “Check yourself before you wreck yourself.”

I always found myself drawn to people who had an element of certainty to them. It wasn’t the kind of insufferable single-mindedness of powerful people, nor was it the brazen overconfidence of youth. It wasn’t that they necessarily knew more than others, nor did they claim to. They didn’t always get things right, and that wasn’t their end game anyway. I’m not sure what the word was at the time to describe this it-factor. What I knew was that they had reasons – clearly defined, purposeful reasons for why they were doing what they were doing or saying what they were saying or behaving how they were behaving. And not in a carefully-curated, image-conscious way, because they were genuine people. It simply was never willy-nilly with them; they didn’t use the phrase “oh, just because.” Looking back, they were probably best described as intentional.

Sunday school taught me the various du`a’s (supplications) for niyyah (intention). I learned to make intentions before a prayer, before a fast. I was reminded to renew my intentions often, particularly when doing community work. But it wasn’t until later that I could understand the concept broadened to a lifestyle. The first of Imam Nawawi’s 40 hadith, “Actions are according to intention,” is a succinct illustration of the power of intention and the link between our hearts and our deeds. It implies a necessary connection of one’s internal and external states. In a goal-focused, action-oriented culture, it is the internal state that is so easily neglected, and it is cultivated in large part by this quality of being intentional.

Living intentionally is different from setting goals. Goals are yet another outward measure, an accomplishment set in the future, whereas being intentional is an inward existence, and one focused on the present. If goals are the mile markers on our life’s path, intention is our day-to-day walk along it – the pace we’re going at and the route we traverse upon. Without goals, we are caught in a drift, with little direction until we find ourselves asking, perhaps years later, “What am I doing here?” But without intention, we might find ourselves in an arguably worse situation: “What was the purpose of all this?” Intention gives meaning to our movement.
The value of intentional living is hardly taught and often lost, but establishing it results in a much more enriching existence. What I saw in individuals who practiced this skill was how purposeful they were and how much more of life they experienced. And it is a skill, which means it can be learned. Here’s what I have found to be a few ways to develop it:

Change the question


On a more macro level, start shifting the question from asking yourself, “What do I want to get done today/next week/this year?” to, “How do I want to be today/next week/this year?” On a micro level, ask yourself why you are doing the things you’re doing as they occur. Why am I participating in this activity? Why am I posting this status on Facebook? Why am I sharing this thing told to me in confidence, or why am I not sharing more of myself in this relationship?

Be mindful of the moment


Being intentional, by definition, requires us to be engaged with ourselves in the present. For those not introspective to begin with, start with mindful ‘extrospection’ – noticing things around you that you otherwise miss as you move about your day. Being present with your environment can help you better connect with yourself.

Examine your past


Whether it’s at the end of the day, the end of the year, or looking back all the way to your childhood, reflecting upon your past actions for their intentions gives you a better framework from which to either continue those or make changes. Your own history is the best determinant of your future.

Make niyyah


Just do it. And then keep doing it, before every action, big or small.

Samaiya Mushtaq is a resident physician training in psychiatry.  She is particularly interested in the intersection of mental health, wellness, and spirituality in Muslim populations.

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (peace be upon him) said, “Allah made the early hours blessed for my Ummah.”

— Ahmed

I was once a morning person.

Every day at a time when the rest of the world were a few hours into their sleep, I would wake up and get up from bed within a few seconds. I would then make wudhu before returning to my room to pray the night prayer and read Qur’an. There would usually be a considerable amount of time before Fajr so you would find me doing my homework/revising/reading until Fajr. Sleep was nowhere near as exciting as these moments and a little nap before I had to get ready for school was more than sufficient.

I understood everything I studied and with time I started to build a relationship with the Qur’an where I would not be able to leave it. My concentration and focus were on point in everything that I did and I enjoyed an immense vigour and energy in learning that I have not felt since.

Regrettably, it is something I have lost gradually over the past few years and I crave its return more than anything. Therefore, having previously experienced the barakah (blessings) of the mornings, I can truly say that success does lie in the mornings, and I pray that Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala (exalted is He) allows myself and others to seize this remarkable treasure of time from now onwards.

“Whoever prays the Fajr prayer, he or she is then under Allah’s protection. So beware, O son or daughter of Adam, that Allah does not call you to account for being absent from His protection for any reason.”

— Muslim

No wonder there is something very special about this time in the morning. To be under the guard of The One who created us and the very world we live in is indeed an extraordinary endowment. Imagine having the protection of the most powerful being that has ever existed for the rest of the day, every day. Is it not worth winning the battle of the bed for this?

Some of the greatest people in history seized these very hours, which is why they managed to achieve exponentially more than we are able to using the same 24 hours in each day. This portion of time is what allows us to train ourselves, prepare our minds, our hearts, our characters ready to take on the rest of the world and the rest of the day. It is a time were we reconnect with our mission and our purpose. We meet with God to begin our days and we are no longer lost like the man without a mission, wandering aimlessly throughout the day.

It is prime time. Contrary to popular belief it is a time where we possess our highest levels of focus, willpower and energy; we unlock these treasures only when we know how to seize this gift from Allah (swt), and what a gift it is. What better way is there to start our days than by meeting with God? What better way is there than by receiving His Protection? Fajr sets the tone for the day. The word itself means dawn in Arabic and is derived from the root word infijar, to ’burst forth’. This denotes the sunlight erupting into the darkness of the night at that time of morning,illuminating the world, replacing darkness with light, clarity and vitality. Likewise, this time of day replaces the darkness in our hearts with light, clarity, and vitality.

And you know what is really amazing about this gift?

It is offered to us every single day.

Every single day we are being given the chance to change our spiritual architecture for the better. We can start each day equipped with a psychological edge and incredible mental confidence that carries through for the next 24 hours. It’s like a kaleidoscope. This barakah from Allah (swt) is like a kaleidoscope, a chain reaction. Once we are able to overcome the struggle within ourselves in the morning, it then opens more and more doors to success. Once seizing the morning becomes hardwired into our minds, it then becomes easier to incorporate other facets of discipline into our lives.

And that is how Allah (swt) guides the believers. We walk towards Him and He runs towards us. He gives and gives and gives.

The question is, will we take it?

We have awoken, and all of creation has awoken, for Allah, Lord of all the Worlds. Allah, I ask You for the best the day has to offer, victory, support, light, blessings and guidance; and I seek refuge in You from the evil in it, and the evil to come after it. Ameen.

Originally published in November 2011

Question: Is marital rape allowed in Islam?

Answer: As salaamu alaykum,

Thank you for asking this important question which has come to the fore in recent times, and which has been the cause of confusion for many people. Here are some important points to take into consideration when learning about this issue:

• It is absolutely haram (unlawful) for a man to harm his wife. The Prophet ﷺ prohibited harming others in general,¹ and intensified that prohibition for harming other believers.² If one is taught to hold ordinary people – with whom one shares no special relationship – in such sanctity, then what of the person one is linked to in the “weighty, serious bond” of marriage (Qur’an 4:21); who is one’s “garment” (2:187), and who lives under one’s ri’aaya, care and shepherdship, as mentioned in a prophetic tradition?³ Allah has described marriage as a relationship of kindness, mercy and love (30:21), and commands men to deal with their wives in an honorable way (4:19). Rape, abuse, ill treatment, and inflicting harm – be it physical, verbal or psychological – are completely unacceptable in such a relationship.
• It is true that the contract of marriage grants a husband the right to intimacy with his wife, and vice versa, however, this does not imply that one can seek to obtain this right violently or forcefully. Just as in any situation in which one has been deprived of one’s due rights, one must go through the proper channels to resolve the matter in a just and honorable way. At no time does it become permissible for someone to take it upon themselves to harm the other party in a misguided attempt to ‘take their right’. This would amount to a type of vigilantism or seeking of personal vengeance that has no place in Islamic tradition, in which we are taught to defer such disputes to those with religious and legal authority. This is clearly indicated in the words of the great scholar Taqi al-Din al-Subki, in his commentary on some verses of the Qur’an related to marriage:

“At the time when it becomes obligatory for a husband to provide financial support, clothing, (and other such provisions) for his wife, he should exert himself in doing so, and not be negligent in this duty such that his wife would have to file a complaint of his negligence with the judge [haakim], and in so doing spend from her own expenditures. …Similarly, a wife should be responsive to her husband’s request for intimacy, such that he would not need to bring a complaint (against her) to the judge, and in so doing spend from his own expenditures.”⁴

From these statements we see that a husband’s or wife’s proper recourse, when confronted with a marital issue they are unable to resolve, is to turn to the appropriate authority for guidance and direction. Violence or force of any kind is not an option.

• People often defend such behavior by citing prophetic traditions that strongly discourage women from refusing their husbands if they approach them for intimacy. While these texts underscore the importance of a wife fulfilling her spouse’s sexual needs (a reminder the Prophet ﷺ gave to men in a number of statements as well,⁵) they cannot be used to justify force. One such text goes on to describe the husband as one who, after being refused, “goes to bed angry.”⁶ If it were truly acceptable for a man to force himself on his wife, why wasn’t such an act mentioned here as a viable alternative to his wife’s refusal?
• Some people also seek to confuse this issue by citing the verses in the Qur’an that outline a disciplinary method of dealing with a wife who is nashiz.^{7 8} These verses are probably among the most misunderstood, misused and misapplied of the Qur’an in our times, and must be understood in their proper exegetical context. Since an in-depth explanation of these verses is beyond the scope of this article, it will be sufficient to state that darb – which is often translated as ‘to strike lightly or tap’ – has been strictly defined by our scholars and has numerous restrictions and conditions.⁹ From among them is that it is done in a manner that would not cause humiliation or harm to the person, and that it is only done when it is a means of helping reconcile between the spouses, and is not a cause of resentment, enmity or hatred between them.¹⁰ It is impossible for such verses – whether looked at lexically, exegetically, or otherwise – to be used to excuse violent or forced sexual relations with one’s wife. Dr. Jamal Badawi succinctly rejects these types of false claims by stating,

“Any excess, cruelty, family violence, or abuse committed by any Muslim can never be traced, honestly, to any revelatory text (Qur’an or hadith). Such excesses and violations are to be blamed on the person(s) himself, as it shows that they are paying lip service to Islamic teachings and injunctions and failing to follow the true Sunnah of the Prophet.”¹¹

• Though marital rape would not warrant a hadd punishment¹² in accordance to Shari`ah, this in no way means that such an act is acceptable or that it would go unpunished by an Islamic court. Some people mistakenly believe that the hadd punishments are the only ones that exist in Islamic law, but that is not the case.  Even if an act does not fall into one of the specified categories for hadd punishment, a qadi [judge] still has the right to punish the person with imprisonment, corporal punishment (lashing), or anything else he deems suitable for the situation, the crime committed and the guilty individual (which is called zajr or ta’zeer).¹³ Some scholars even state that a wife who has been assaulted in such a manner by her spouse has the right to jirah, or civil redress, for her injuries.¹⁴
• Some scholars condemn such an assault as sinful and despicable while at the same time deeming it inappropriate to be labeled as ‘rape’. This is because of the presumption of consent implicit in the legal contract of marriage. It is important to note that such statements are not intended to condone the behavior, but are simply an expression of legal exactness. When taking such a case into consideration, scholars would not base a punishment on the sexual act itself, but on the harms, both psychological and physical, that stem from it. Such an assault – however it is labeled – is still considered by scholars to be unacceptable, sinful, and susceptible to punishment.
• If a man finds his wife unreceptive to his overtures of intimacy, he should put in some effort to be attentive, affectionate, and kind to his wife, and to fulfill the numerous recommendations the Prophet ﷺ made in regards to intimacy. Such problems may also be symptomatic of deeper issues in the relationship that need to be resolved. One should always take an introspective, constructive, and proactive approach to dealing with problems, focusing first on how one can change one’s own behavior to improve the situation, instead of simply blaming the other party or seeking to ‘punish’. It may also be necessary to seek counseling and advice from others who have expertise in these matters.
• An individual who engages in assault and abuse of any kind, especially towards family members, shows signs of underlying psychological problems that need to be treated. There is no level of frustration, anger, or overwhelming grievances – no matter how legitimate they may seem – that pardons such dehumanizing and callous behavior.

I hope these points have shed some light on this issue, and have made it clear that marital rape is not allowed or condoned by our deen, and is in fact a sinful act that a person can be held accountable for in this life, before the hereafter. In the very first verse in the chapter of the Qur’an entitled “Women”, Allah Most High warns us to be fearful of Him in demanding our rights upon each other. He in fact warns us to be fearful of Him twice in this verse, a sign of the seriousness with which we should take such matters:

“O mankind, fear your Lord, who created you from a single soul and created from it its mate, and dispersed from both of them countless men and women. And fear Allah, through whom you demand your mutual rights, and (reverence) the wombs that bore you: Indeed Allah is ever, over you, an Observer.” (Qur’an, 4:1)

In conclusion, the Prophet ﷺ taught, “Only a noble man treats women in an honorable manner and only an ignoble man of low character treats women disgracefully.”¹⁵ May Allah make us people of noble character, who fear God in our dealings with others and who weigh our deeds and words well before they are weighed for us on the Day of Judgment.

Allah knows best.

If you are a good person God will protect you from money that will only cause you harm. There is an interesting story found in Rabi` al-Abrar of al-Zamakhshari and later al-Mustatraf of Baha’ al-Din al-Abshihi wherein Imam `Ali (عليه السلام, peace be upon him) displays a prudent lesson in choosing whether your income is through good or evil.

(ودخل علي بن أبي طالب ـ رضي الله عنه ـ المسجد وقال لرجل كان واقفا على باب المسجد: أمسك عليّ بغلتي، فأخذ الرجل لجامها، ومضى وترك البغلة، فخرج علي وفي يده درهمان ليكافىء بها الرجل على إمساكه بغلته فوجد البغلة واقفة بغير لجام، فركبها ومضى، ودفع لغلامه درهمين يشتري بهما لجاما، فوجد الغلام اللجام في السوق قد باعه السارق بدرهمين، فقال علي ـ رضي الله عنه: إن العبد ليحرم نفسه الرزق الحلال بترك الصبر، ولا يزداد على ما قدر له.)

`Ali bin Abi Talib radi Allahu `anhu (may God be pleased with him) approached the Mosque and said to a man who was standing at its gate, “Please hold my mule for me.” So the man took it by its bridle, but then walked on leaving the mule behind.

`Ali came out of the Mosque with 2 dirhams (silver coins) in his hand so that he could compensate the man for holding his mule. But he found the mule standing there without its ornamental bridle. So he climbed the mule and rode on.

He gave his squire the 2 dirhams to go buy another bridle. The squire found the very same bridle which the thief had sold to whom he bought it from for 2 dirhams.

To this, `Ali remarked:

“The bondsman made forbidden for himself pure earnings by abandoning his patience. And he received naught more than what was determined for him anyway.”

Not a single one of the world’s richest people made their fortunes by winning the lottery. You will not be the first. Work hard and honest for your earnings and you will be rewarded for it, but not at the cost of your honor.

By L. Cochrane and W. Chellan

Poll results and mainstream media suggest that higher levels of poverty equate with higher levels of religious adherence. Broadly speaking, this generalization appears to hold true. ((See, for example: http://www.gallup.com/poll/116449/Religion-Provides-Emotional-Boost-World-Poor.aspx)) However, correlations of this nature do not occur in isolation. Wealth and poverty are also correlated with regional location, leading some to suggest that wealth and poverty are linked with geography. ((For example: Diamond, J. (1999) Guns, Germs and Steel: The Fates of Human Societies. W. W. Norton & Company: New York.)) Correlations can also be made between poverty and education, crime and a host of other social and economic factors. A critical analysis of the link between poverty and religious adherence is important because, based upon this claim, some suggest that religion is only “useful” as a means to address insecurity, instability, uncertainty and stress. Indeed, some turn to faith in times of need (e.g. Qur’an, 10:22). The claim that there is no inherent need or value of faith, for anyone at anytime, beyond a coping mechanism is what we suggest requires critical scrutiny.

Is it true?

These claimed linkages are limited to statistical correlations, not causations. In other words, the global polls describe a trend, but do not offer an explanation as to why that situation exists. The cause depends on how the data is interpreted and what other factors are sufficiently accounted for. The selection of data can influence the trends that are identified. However, does the statistical data confirm that these correlations exist? Our recent paper sought to clarify this and related questions. ((Cochrane, L. and Chellan, W. (2015) “We Were Extremely Poor But We Were Pious”: Exploring the Interrelationships between Religious Adherence and Economic Status in the Muslim World. Global Humanities 2: 112-128))

We first point out that it is quite easy to identify case studies to “prove” a point. Almost two-thirds of Senegalese live in extreme poverty, and the vast majority are religious. At the same time, Qatar has the highest GDP per capita in the world, wherein the majority are religious. To overcome the challenges of selectively using data, we utilized a Pew Research Center data set of more than 38,000 interviews conducted in 114 countries, and focus on Muslim majority countries (80% or greater). The findings suggest the picture is far more complex than the one presented in popular media and polls:

• The relationship between higher GDP per capita and a greater percentage of Muslims in the population is weak and insignificant. In other words: wealth or poverty in Muslim-majority countries is not correlated with greater or fewer identifying with the faith.
• There was no relationship between higher GDP per capita and the percentage of people that pray several times a day. In other words: the level of wealth did not impact on how frequently or regularly people pray.

Other findings also suggest that the “link” between poverty and religion is complex. For example, there are strong geographical trends with regard to religious practice, suggesting that poverty is not the primary factor affecting religious adherence. Also, higher GDP was correlated with declining support for Islamic Law; this suggests that politics (i.e. the political implementation of “Islamic Law”) play a significant role (recall that economic status was not correlated with the number of people who regularly pray, but support for “Islamic Law” was).

All of these statistics are “playing the same game” in that we are only able to describe trends, but not understand the causes of them. Nonetheless, we find that the statistical claims being made are incorrect (or, at best, only part of the story). We also explore lived experiences of Muslims in South Africa, a country where significant rises in GDP per capita have taken place. The diversity of experiences confirms that the relationship between poverty and religious adherence is complex, with some people becoming more religious and others not as wealth rose. The life stories align with our statistical data: there is no correlation with religious practice and wealth (or poverty) and certainly no evidence to suggest causation. Like the global data, the life histories indicate that local and regional history, politics, culture and society have a far greater influence on religious adherence than economic status.

Viewed from another perspective:

We also explore the theological perspective of poverty in Islam, all of which reinforce the complexity of the issue. For example: specific economic indicators are commonly used to measure poverty, but the theological conceptualization of material poverty includes diverse definitions, such as the poor (fuqarāʾ), the destitute (masākīn), chronic or temporary poverty (e.g.: ibn al-sabīl and ghārimīn). Furthermore, like the Noble Prize winner Amartya Sen, ((Sen, A. 2009. The Idea of Justice. Harvard University Press: Cambridge)) they suggest the need to distinguish between intentional asceticism (zuhd) and material poverty. Islam also conceptualizes a different form of poverty, separate from material and economic status: spiritual poverty. Popular media and the polls do not take any of these factors into account. In fact, we suggest, the theological tradition can enhance our understanding of poverty and its various manifestations.

The Prophetic tradition provides insight into the way poverty can be understood, as the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (peace be unto him) made the supplication: “I seek refuge with You [God] from poverty,” ((Abū ʿAbd al-Raḥmān al-Nasāʾī. Sunan al-Nasāʾī: Kitāb al-ʾistiʿādhah, bāb al-ʾistiʿādhah min al-dhillah. Aleppo: Maktab al-Maṭbūʿāt al-ʾIslāmiyyah 1986)) which he encouraged others to do as well. ((Aḥmad Ibn Ḥanbal: Musnad al-ʾImām Aḥmad Ibn Ḥanbal, Musnad Abū Hurayrah, ḥadīth 10973. Beirut: Muʾassasah al-Risālah liʾl-Ṭabāʿāt waʾl-Nashr waʾl-Tawzīʿ 2001)) At the same time, there are warnings against wealth: “By God I do not fear poverty for you, but I fear that you will lead a life of luxury as the past nations did, whereupon you will compete for it as they competed for it, and it will destroy you as it had destroyed them.” ((Muḥammad Ibn ʾIsmāʿīl al-Bukhārī: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī, kitāb al-maghāzī, bāb shuhūd al-malāʾikah badrā, ḥadīth 4015. Beirut: Dār Ṭūq al-Najjāt 2001; Muslim Ibn al-Ḥajjāj: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim, kitāb al-zuhd waʾl-raqāʾiq, ḥadīth 2961. Beirut: Dār ʾIḥyāʾ al-Turāth al-ʿArabī 1991; Abū ʿĪsā al-Tirmidhī: Sunan al-Tirmidhī, abwāb ṣiffah al-qiyāmah waʾl-raqāʾiq waʾl-warʿ, ḥadīth 2462. Cairo: Sharikah Maktabah wa Maṭbaʿah Muṣṭafā al-Bābī al-Ḥalbī 1975)) As well as: “Is it poverty that you fear? By the One in Whose Hand rests my soul, this world will come to you in plenty, and nothing will cause the heart of anyone of you to deviate except that.” ((Ibn Mājah al-Qazwīnī: Sunan Ibn Mājah, abwāb al-sunnah, bāb ʾittibāʿsunnah rasūl Allāh, ḥadīth 5. Damascus: Dār al-Risālah al-ʿĀlamiyyah 2009)) These narrations suggest, as does the entirety of the Qur’an and Prophetic traditions, that life ought to be lived in moderation, avoiding excessiveness to the best of one’s ability, and pointing to the inherent dangers of extremes.

Take-away messages:

• Claims of religiousness and poverty are, at best, correlations, not causations.
• Statistical data that demonstrates the connection between religious practice and wealth (or poverty) is, at best, weak.
• Lived experiences confirm the complexity of this relationship and the diversity of responses to wealth and poverty.
• Religious adherence is correlated with geographical location more than economic situation.
• Local politics, history, culture and society appear to have much greater influence on religious adherence than economic situations.
• Islam offers unique insight into how poverty and wealth can be understood, particularly in understanding the diverse manifestations of poverty.
• The Prophetic traditions warn against the problems of poverty and wealth, pointing towards moderation and moderate living.
• Islam postulates its adherents to have a mutual obligation to one other, and humanity at large, to alleviate poverty and the burdens of others, while at the same time supporting others to avoid the ills associated with extreme wealth.

One of the biggest problems facing religion today is modern relevance. For many people of faith, this means coming to terms with reforming their religion to fit modern times by dismissing or “re-interpreting” scripture. The beauty of Islam among religions is in its universality, its compatibility with science, and its versatile legal tradition which remains relevant across times and cultures.

Modernity between Acceptance of Reality and Rejectionism

For the Muslim, the correct attitude is not to resist or reject modernity, rather embrace it with our divine law. Unfortunately, some “conservative” Muslims fear modernity for one reason or another, thus detracting from their relevance. This way of thinking alienates many educated, reasonable Muslims, because they have to live in reality and Islam seems to be at odds with it.

We have ample means of accommodating modernity embedded in the Qur’an, the Sunnah and our vast, rich, 14-century legacy of jurisprudence. So for us, it is not a matter of reform per se, rather that of revivalist research of scriptural interpretation. The Islamic orthodoxy of law is quite vast and versatile. There are two issues that have hindered the proper manifestation of this versatility: closing of the doors of ijtihad (deriving new rulings from legal principles) for centuries, and a huge decline in the general quality of education in the Muslim world in the last two centuries. These two issues have led to some scholars blindly following certain, fixed schools of thought, and in turn to the subjugation of religious values to popular culture; thus our current dilemma/dichotomy.

Female Role in Society

One of the issues of modernity is female leadership. So you have the culture and its supporting fatwas from the Muslim world that women are not to be leaders outside of motherhood. You have a general consensus that women can be scholars and preach Islam, but only to other women, lest they corrupt the men with their sex appeal! In the west, Muslims are divided three ways over the issue of female leadership.

1. Since immigrants are still the major stakeholders in the Mosques, most mosques have not had a female board member, executive director (Amirah) and have never had a woman scholar or preacher speak to the community.
2. Some movements have started to make women Imams, leading prayers and giving Friday sermons to mixed gatherings. This has no traction in mainstream mosques due to the lack of precedent in the history of Islamic Law.
3. Some Mosques are empowering sisters as female board members and executive directors, and inviting female preachers to speak to mixed gatherings. They are reviving some historical precedents of Islamic Law to achieve relevance in dealing with modernity.

Women Scholars Preaching Islam to Mixed Gatherings

The subject I would like to tackle now, with divine providence, is having female scholars who advise and preach to both men and women. Naturally, some people will object, saying it is un-Islamic to have a woman speak to a mixed crowd, counsel or give fatwa to men. The same people would not object to a male scholar counseling a woman, outside of seclusion of course! To give them the benefit of the doubt, they have never seen or heard of this in the Muslim community. Here lies the power of culture in defining our traditions. The resolution of such issues should not be determined by what we see people doing, rather by what Islam says about the matter.

So the question is, what does Islam say about having women scholars, preachers and teachers who address both men and women?

The Holy Qur’an tells us:

“The believing men and women are patrons of each other. They command to good, rebuke evil, establish prayers, give alms, obeying God and His messenger. They will have God’s mercy. Indeed God is Mighty and Wise.” (Qur’an, 9:71)

This verse, like many others, puts men and women on equal footing regarding the practice of religion. It is especially significant regarding our question, because its linguistics equates men and women working together in preaching.

Umar sums up the drastic change to Arabia regarding women

“.كنا في الجاهلية لا نعد للنساء شيئا حتى أنزل الله فيهن ما أنزل وقسم لهن ما قسم،” و في رواية: “فلما جاء الإسلام وذكرهن الله، رأينا لهن بذلك علينا حقا”

 “Back in the days of ignorance before Islam, we didn’t consider women of much significance at all. This all changed with the emergence of Islam in which God mentioned them with respect and gave them new rights then we realized their rights over us.” (Sahih al-Bukhari, 5843)

Aisha – The Founding Mother Scholar, Judge and Orator

There are many texts which unquestionably show that Aisha was a huge precedent for female scholarship. Trained for 9 years in the house of the Prophet ﷺ, Abu Musa al-Ash’ari the great scholar of the companions is reported to have said about her:

“.ما أُشكل علَينا أصحابُ محمَّدٍ صلَّى اللهُ عليْهِ وسلَّمَ حَديثٌ قطُّ ، فسأَلنا عائشةَ ، إلَّا وجَدنا عِندها منه عِلمًا”

“Sometimes we the companions of Muhammad ﷺ would get confused about Islamic teachings. We would then go and ask Aisha about itand we found she always had the knowledge we were seeking in it.” (Jami` at-Tirmidhi, 3883)

It was also authentically transmitted by al-Zubair bin al-Awam, the great companion who was of the six nominated by Umar to decide among them the Caliph after him:

ما رأيت أحدا من الناس اعلم بالقرآن ولا بفريضة ولا بحلال ولا بحرام ولا بشعر ولا بحديث العرب ولا بنسب من عائشة رضي الله عنها

“I never saw anyone more knowledgeable of the Qur’an, Islamic Law, poetry, Arab history and lineages than Aisha radi
Allahu
`anha
 (may God be pleased with her).” (Al-Hakim, 4/11)

In his masterpiece on the biographies of the greatest prominent Muslims of our past, Imam al-Dhahabi relates that the famous scholar and general of the tabi’in (the generation of Muslims who were born after the death of the Prophet ﷺbut who were contemporaries of His companions) in Iraq, Al-Ahnaf bin Qays, said:

سمعت خطبة أبي بكر الصديق وعمر بن الخطاب وعثمان بن عفان وعلي بن أبي طالب والخلفاء من بعدهم فما سمعت الكلام من في مخلوق أحسن ولا أفخم من في عائشة

“I heard the sermons of Abu Bakr, Umar, Uthman, Ali and the Caliphs after them and yet I never heard speech from the mouth of anyone better or more eloquent than from Aisha.” (Siyar al-A’lam al-Nubalaa)

This should close the case, but some might say that Aisha was an exception. Well, she was in fact unique, since she was the greatest woman scholar among the companions, and greater than the top handful of men as well. That being said, as the mother of the believers, she naturally became a standard of excellence and an example to be followed by other women.

In his famous work Al-Isabah fee Tamyeez as-Sahabah, Imam ibn Hajar al-Asqalani reports on 1543 women scholars of Islamic Law, Hadith and Arabic literature!

As for teaching, the great granddaughter of the Prophet ﷺ Nafeesah bint al-Hasan was reported to have lectured to the masses in the Prophet’s mosque as well as in Cairo. It is also well-documented that scholars like Ibn Taymiyyah, Ibn Hajar, Ibn al-Jawzi and Imam al-Thahabi were all taught by female scholars.

For those of you who are still not convinced that it is acceptable for a sister to assert herself,

Imam Al-Haythami relates a story about the woman Umar put in charge of the policing of the marketplace of Madinah. Yahya bin Abi Saleem said:

رأيْتُ سَمْرَاءَ بنتَ نُهَيْكٍ وكانَتْ قد أَدْرَكَتِ النبيَّ صلَّى اللهُ عليهِ وسلَّمَ عليْها دِرْعٌ غَلِيظٌ وخِمارٌ غَلِيظٌ ؛ بيدِهِا سَوْطٌ تُؤَدِّبُ الناسَ ، وتَأْمُرُ بالمعروفِ وتَنْهَى عَنِ المنكرِ

“I saw Samraa bint Nuhayk, who met the Prophet ﷺ, wearing a rough Hijab with chainmail and a whip in her hand. She would discipline the people commanding to good and rebuking evil.” (Majma’ al-Zawa’id 9/267)

The majority of our scholars throughout history have said that there is nothing wrong with listening to a woman’s speech unless it is flirtatious or provocative. Both men and women were prohibited from (prolonged) looking at an attractive person. To say a woman clergy member cannot speak in front of men because some men may find her attractive is the same as prohibiting women from listening to a male Imam, since women have desires as well, and were equally rebuked from looking where there is attraction.

Just because the Muslims have strayed from the scholarly tradition of old and have become used to certain ways of dealing does not mean that our traditional sources of law do not support a different way of doing things more suitable for the reality we live in today.

It is of the utmost importance that we not judge Islam by the state of Muslims today. Our religion is much bigger and better than that. There were many great generations who were not only relevant but standard setters for civilization in general wherever they were.

There are many causes and struggles going on here in the US right now. Our religion is completely capable of addressing and solving the world’s problems. We are obligated to create a generation that has the right tools to bring moral balance to issues like feminism, economy, racism, class warfare, political corruption, oppression or anything else related to morality or ethics.

We wish to respond to evil with good, as our faith instructs us and send a powerful, united message of compassion through action. Our Prophet Muhammadﷺ (peace be upon him) said: “Have mercy to those on earth, and the One in the Heavens (God) will have mercy upon you.” And the Qur’an directs us to “repel evil by that which is better,” (41:34).

All fundraising proceeds will help with the immediate, short term needs of the families, such as funeral expenses. If we exceed the $50,000 goal, we can even assist the families with long-term expenses or possibly provide a donation to the regional center where the shooting took place. Funds will be distributed to the victims’ families by the MiNDS Institute.

Please contribute and share this project with those you know and insha’ Allah (God willing) together we can send this message of compassion.

https://www.launchgood.com/project/muslims_united_for_san_bernardino#