Question:

I was wondering if you could talk about how we should deal with hadiths (Prophetic traditions) that seem to be unfair towards women; for example, that the hellfire is full of women, a woman is deficient in intellect, etc. How are we supposed to understand and accept these kinds of statements when they seem to go against the equality of Islam? Couldn’t it be that some misogynistic ideas on the part of the narrators influenced the books of hadith like Bukhari, etc?

Answer:

Bismillah. In the name of God.

Dear Questioner,

As salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh, May the Peace and Blessings of God be upon you,

I want to begin by thanking you for raising a very important issue. I ask Allah to make this exchange a means for us to gain a fuller and richer understanding of our faith, for our prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, “Whenever Allah wants good for a person He grants him or her deep understanding of the religion.”¹

Coming across a hadith that may seem troubling to us or out of sync with the general principles of Islam is not out of the ordinary, nor is it limited to womens’ issues. There are a number of texts which, on first glance, can cause disconcertion, frustration, or other negative feelings in a person. How about the hadith that says, “I have been commanded to fight the people until they say ‘la ilaha illa Allah’”? Or that “999 out of 1000 people will enter the Fire”?

There are certain steps a person must take in order to engage with and understand these types of hadith properly. I would say that there are three key elements, like three puzzle pieces, that must be fitted together soundly for one to’see’ a completed, full and accurate picture of a hadith. These three components are the following:

1. Prophetic Words

First, we must determine the accuracy of what we are reading and verify that they are indeed the words of the Prophet ﷺ. You suggested that misogynistic feelings on the part of hadith narrators may have influenced books of authenticated hadith. I believe that even a cursory study of the field of hadith criticism would completely discount this idea.  Please note that by saying this I am not rejecting the idea that misogynistic attitudes did exist in the Muslim world (and still do); but that such attitudes would not have been able to penetrate into the authentication process of hadith, since it was such a nuanced and carefully crafted science. In addition, women played a significant role in hadith narration from its very inception.²

Frankly speaking, sometimes it is easier to have ourselves believe such ideas than to deal with texts that make us uncomfortable. Sometimes we perform our own version of an authentication process in our minds: if it’s something I deem is acceptable, then it’s authentic; while if it is not, then it’s definitely a weak text! I would say that to begin this journey, we must temporarily set aside our feelings and objections to come to an impartial conclusion about the authenticity of the text through reliable sources. If it is fabricated or questionable, then we obviously do not have to concern ourselves with it. If, however, the hadith is authentic, then we need to continue in this process to learn more about it, and understand how it fits into the framework of Islamic teachings.

The first piece of the puzzle, then, is making sure that we are dealing with true Prophetic words and not anything else. Once that is affixed in place, we can go on to the next step, which is discerning the meaning of those words.

2. Context and Meaning

There are a number of things we have to take into consideration in order to understand the meanings and implications of a hadith properly. First is the specific situational context in which the hadith was said. Just as the science of Asbab an-Nuzul³ is extremely important for those seeking to understand the Quran, understanding when, why, and to whom the Prophet ﷺ made a particular statement can grants us great insight into a hadith.

Next, we should seek to understand the text in light of other hadiths on the same issue. The scholars who specialize in determining the underlying principles of Islamic law [the usuliyun] employ a process called istiqraa: Instead of focusing on one specific text, they survey all of the texts on a particular topic and draw conclusions by seeing how they relate to one another and their shared themes and lessons. We need to take on a similar method when studying a hadith before extrapolating from it or making generalizations. We must also look to what the fuqaha [jurisprudential scholars] say about the text’s proper application and the rulings that are derived from it.

Lastly, we should consider the hadith from the perspective of the sunnah as a whole. I’ve heard one of my teachers liken a hadith to a snapshot: something said or done at a specific time in a specific place, while the sunnah is a more comprehensive, holistic understanding of what the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught and his message. Another analogy would be like taking a four hundred-page novel, ripping out a random page and reading it, and seeking to understand the plot line or the characters from that portion alone. Obviously, the one who does so may very easily come to the wrong conclusions. It is for this reason that we have to place the specific hadith that we are discussing in the greater framework of the sunnah.

We can see that proper analysis and study of a hadith has some complexity and requires some expertise in order to be undertaken properly. This is where sitting with people of knowledge, asking of them and learning from them, plays an important role in guiding and perfecting our understanding.

3. Spiritual Openness

The last piece of the puzzle – and I would argue in some ways the most important – has less to do with the actual content of the hadith in question and more to do with you and I as the reader. If we liken the hadith itself to a sharpened arrow, and its proper conception to a tightened bow, then the spiritual and intellectual attitude with which we approach the hadith would be the fineness of the archer’s eye. Even if the bow and arrow are sound, without proper vision and clarity of sight the mark will never be reached. In the same way, our mindset when we study a hadith is very significant and can alter whether we reach our ‘mark’ (proper understanding) or not.

A critical part of this mindset is considering the hadith and pondering over it with a spirit of introspection, honesty with one’s self, and soul-searching. Instead of immediately concerning ourselves with how others may perceive a particular hadith, misinterpret it, or use it to their advancement (which are certainly valid concerns), we should begin by considering how this hadith is relevant to me as an individual, my actions, and my way of thinking. In other words, my concern should be inwardly directed before it is outwardly manifested.

Another aspect of the correct spiritual approach is being cautious with rejection.  Sometimes the accusations that are leveled at hadiths and hadith narrators are based on an individual’s internal state and feelings, more so than on any research or ostensible evidence. I am in no way saying that one must eradicate genuine feelings and natural concerns that may arise when reading such hadith; but that our attitude should be one of seeking to learn more, to clarify and to understand, instead of immediately seeking a way to dismiss the hadith in question, which often includes dismantling the entire science of hadith studies. We live in an age where we are encouraged to quickly formulate opinions and draw conclusions, whereas I would say that there is nothing wrong with simply saying, when it comes to an authentic hadith that may trouble us, “I don’t know,” or “I am still learning.” Some of the scholars of old have said that, “Saying ‘I don’t know’ is half of knowledge,” and it is certainly a safer and more precautionary position to take.

As a final point of advice, we should always seek to have a good opinion of our Lord, as the Most Just, the Most Wise, and the Most Loving and Kind to His creatures, who never does injustice to anyone and who rewards those who do good and have faith, men and women, according to the best of their actions.⁴ Islam is His religion and it is a religion of fairness, balance, mercy, and justice – its teachings a reflection of His noble attributes. And it was Allah Most High who chose the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ for His message. As Muslims we know that Muhammad ﷺ was educated, developed, and beautified in the Divine school of prophethood, guided by the Divine in every aspect of his life, until he was, as the Quran testifies, “certainly upon the most exalted standard of character.”⁵ He ﷺ was the embodiment of the most beautiful of qualities in his manner with people, his personality, and in his truthful and faithful conveying of the teachings of our religion. The spiritual openness I was referring to also means that when we inquire about these ahadith, we do so with full recognition of who the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ was, what he was teaching, and not let that inquiry become an obstacle in the loving and reverential relationship we should have with him and with the Divine.

I would also urge anyone who is having these types of concerns about hadith to commit themselves to reading and studying the seerah.⁶ The Prophet ﷺ was someone who, the more the men and women around him got to know him, the more they increased in love and awe for him and for his teachings. As the poet⁷ said in his praise:

(He) is like the sun that appears to the eyes from a distance

Seemingly small and insignificant – but dazzling to the eye when studied.

We owe it to our beloved Messenger ﷺ to seek to find the beauty and meaning in his words, which may not be perceived from a distance, but only when studied close at hand.

May Allah Most High make us people who sincerely strive to make our fractured understanding whole and complete, piece by piece, through His guidance and assistance, until our vision is sound and our aim is sure, and we are among those who know Him and know His religion. May He make us people of deep knowledge, insight, and wisdom, and who, through our spiritual and intellectual endeavors, reach His Nearness and Proximity.  Ameen.

For Further Study

On Hadith:

• Al-Muhaddithat: the Women Scholars of Islam by Dr. Akram Nadwi
• Studies in Hadith Methodology & Literature by M. M. Azami
• A Textbook of Hadith Studies: Authenticity, Compilation, Classification and Criticism of Hadith by Mohammad Hashim Kamali
• On the Science of Hadith Criticism (CD Set) by Dr. Mokhtar Magharoui

On Seerah:

• Muhammad: Man and Prophet by Adil Salahi
• In the Footsteps of the Prophet by Dr. Tariq Ramadan
• Muhammad: Messenger of Allah (Ash-Shifa of Qadi Iyad) translated by Aisha Bewley

Few scholars (and yet many “religious” Muslims) claim that women scholars should not teach mixed gatherings openly as men scholars do and that if she does she should do so behind a curtain. It is also suggested as evidence against this that women should generally stay at home and that her face as well as her voice is of her nakedness (`aura), and they shouldn’t be seen or heard! For those who came to Islam or latched on to it because it is generally so practical and reasonable, you are probably thinking, well, that is ridiculous. The following article will show the strong scriptural refutation most scholars would make against such claims.

The discussion is mainly based in the commentary and juristic interpretation of surah al-Ahzab (Qur’an 33). Surah al-Ahzab is themed contextually with many verses over a few pages which address the pronoun for the feminine plural. These are always referring back to “the wives or women of the Prophet ﷺ (peace be upon him) (أزواج أو نساء النبي)” whereas the word “female believers (مؤمنات)” is only used once at the very end of the context in the verse enjoining the modest covering of Islam which is customarily referred to as Hijab in English. This can be confusing because the “verse of Hijab” is not referring to the modest clothing; rather it was an injunction for us to ask the wives of the Prophet ﷺ from behind a curtain when visiting their homes.

The first occurrence of the feminine plural pronoun is in dealing with the Prophet’s wives desire for extra wealth and provisions. God tells them that if they desire this worldly life then the Prophet should divorce them whereas if they want the Hereafter then that is the reward for exceptional Muslims:

“Dear Prophet, tell your wives that if they want this life and its adornments…” (Qur’an, 33:28).

The next time the pronoun appears, it is referring back to a specific warning against the wives of the Prophet ﷺ from sexual immorality which will bring a double punishment.

“Dearest women of the Prophet whoever among you would commit adultery…” (Qur’an, 33:30).

The next verse with the plural feminine pronoun makes the case in point of the whole issue!

“Dear wives of the Prophet, You are not like any other women. If you are to be pious then do not speak in a soft sweet tone which could lead a person with a diseased heart to get the wrong idea. Live in tranquility in your homes and don’t make a spectacle of yourselves as the women did before Islam…” (Qur’an, 33:32-33).

This verse is clearly denoting the special status of the wives of the Prophet ﷺ and how they carry a much more specific and cautious ruling. As we saw in the previous verses, the deeds of the wives of the Prophet ﷺ carry double the impact and so naturally the law carries double the seriousness. There are clearly unique rules to the wives such as the fact that they do not inherit from the Prophet ﷺ, no man can marry them after, and according to many commentators and jurists, they should stay home and if visited, they should speak from behind a curtain.

The surah then goes into the generality of spiritual equality between women and men, and then goes into a page and a half of other matters clearly moving away from the specificity of either the wives of the Prophet ﷺ or the women believers.

It picks back up admonishing the Prophet ﷺ and his wives about the general rules of their relationship and again we have reference to the plural feminine pronoun again referring to the Prophet’s wives.

“Dear prophet, We have permitted you to be with your wives to whom you have given the bridal dowry…” (Qur’an, 33:50).

Immediately following that is the “verse of the Hijab”. Let us look at the verse and see who it was referring to and the scholarly difference of interpretation and what may have led to such difference while it will probably seem plain and evident to most readers.

“Dear believers don’t hang around the Prophet’s house hoping to be invited for a meal. If you are invited, then go and eat, but don’t linger around too long afterwards hoping to talk as that often annoyed the Prophet and he was shy to tell you to leave. God is not shy to say the truth. If you ask them (feminine plural), then do so from behind a curtain. That is purer for your (masculine plural) hearts and theirs (feminine plural). You must not annoy the Prophet nor should you ever marry his wives after he passes. Indeed these are of the most serious of affairs to God.” (Qur’an, 33:53)

Three verses later, the surah reveals the injunction for the modest covering women are to wear and God felt it necessary to specify the wives of the Prophet ﷺ, his daughters and all the believing women so as to leave no doubt about its legislative intention.

“Dear prophet, tell your wives, your daughters and the believing women to cover their entire bodies with clothing…” (Qur’an, 33:59).

This was the last verse in the surah using the plural feminine pronoun in which we see all previous verses specifying that to the wives of the Prophet ﷺ.

Interpretations of the Verse Regarding Staying at Home

As you can see, the context and linguistics is addressing the wives of the Prophet ﷺ, although some scholars said that it should address all other female believers as well since they are our example. They said it is similar to the verses which address the Prophet ﷺ. On the other hand, other scholars held the position of the specificity of the text to the wives of the Prophet ﷺ as both a specific admonition and to clarify their special status.

Prominent Classical Commentaries

Al-Tabari (310) — Indicates that the verse about staying in the house except for need is for all women. He narrates many narrations of circumstances in which the verse of Hijab was revealed all of which indicate it is specific to the wives of the Prophet ﷺ. He does mention one opinion of Qatada that it was for all homes to have a curtain between strange men and the women of the house. Ibn Kathir follows Imam al-Tabari’s commentary.

Ibn Atiya (546) — Makes no mention of the verses being general for all women rather his commentary follows the natural linguistics which are specific to wives of the Prophet ﷺ.

Ibn al-Jawzi (597) — Makes no mention of the verses being general for all women rather his commentary follows the natural linguistics which are specific to wives of the Prophet ﷺ.

Imam al-Razi (606) — Makes no mention of the verses being general for all women rather his commentary follows the natural linguistics which are specific to wives of the Prophet ﷺ.

Al-Qurtubi (671) — Indicates that the rulings are general for all women.

Al-Nasafi (710) — Makes no mention of the verses being general for all women rather his commentary follows the natural linguistics which are specific to wives of the Prophet ﷺ.

Imam Al-Sutooti (864) — Makes no mention of the verses being general for all women rather his commentary follows the natural linguistics which are specific to the wives of the Prophet ﷺ.

Ibn Ashoor (1393) — Actually makes the point that the verses are specific to the wives of the Prophet ﷺ when speaking about things which the believing women weren’t generally commanded to elsewhere in the Qur’an. He states that it would be noble for a believing woman to follow them, but she is not obligated to.

Related Hadiths

Ibn Hajar, radi Allahu `anhu (may God be pleased with him), narrates the hadith in his commentary on al-Bukhari — This verse stay in your homes is in reality specific to the wives of the Prophet ﷺ since Umm Salamah used to say: “I won’t be moved by a camel’s back until I am reunited with the Prophet,” (al-Fath 3561).

It is also narrated in most of the historical commentaries how after the verse of Hijab was revealed, Umar saw Sawdah (ra) — the wife of the Prophet ﷺ— walking around outside for some reason and asked her why she is outside. She went and asked the Prophet ﷺ about Umar’s rebuking her and he responded: “God has permitted you to go out if you need to,” (Muslim 2170).

It is also narrated in many sound narrations that after the loss of the Battle of the Camel led by A’ishah (ra), she would cry when reading the verse about staying in the house.

Is a Woman’s Face of her Nakedness?

In Sura al-Noor men and women were commanded to lower their gaze since the face is apparent. So if that is to be a proof for men not watching a female speaker then that would also prevent women from watching a male speaker. The vast majority of the scholars say that the face and hands of a woman are not from her nakedness, but should still not be stared at. In commenting on this verse many commentators particularly from the Hanafis say that the injunction to lower the gaze is understood at the moment of desire. If there is no desire then the verse is inapplicable. Others said that the restriction is lightened in professional interactions like buying and selling or teaching etc.

Is a Woman’s Voice of her Nakedness?

Hanafi’s: Ibn Abideen Al-Darr Al-Mukhtar: “Like her face and hands, her voice is not of her nakedness.”

Maliki’s: Hashiyat al-Dasooqi: “It is said that the women’s voice is not of her nakedness since we have so many female scholars of Hadith. It can only be of her nakedness if a man is attracted by it so then it would be disliked to listen to it.” It is the well-established opinion that her voice is not nakedness as mentioned by al-Adawi.

Shafi’ee: Majmoo al-Nawawi: “It was said that Al-Qadhi Husain was asked if the woman’s voice is of her nakedness and he answered that both opinions are found in the school, but that the more correct is that it isn’t.”

Hanbali: Insaaf al-Mardawi: “It is the more correct opinion that the voice of a woman is not of her nakedness.”

Dr. Su’ad Salih the previous Deen of Islamic Law at Azhar University says the there is nothing wrong with a female scholar teaching a mixed gathering since it is well established that great women scholars of the past did so. There is nothing in the scripture that would prohibit a modest woman of knowledge and character to preach to the masses. She states that the fact widows were commanded to stay in the house for mourning is evidence that generally they may leave the house. She similarly negates the claim that a woman’s voice is of her nakedness since the Qur’an did ask us to ask the wives of the Prophet ﷺ behind a curtain thus hearing their voice. She also reminds us that there were thousands of female scholars of hadith and fiqh who taught many men. The verse does not prohibit all speech; rather it forbids a sweet soft toned voice that may be seen as attractive:

“…If you are to be pious then do not speak in a soft sweet tone which could lead a person with a diseased heart to get the wrong idea.” (Qur’an 33:32)

Dr. Husam al-Farfoor and Dr. Abdul-Hameed al-Ubaydee, both professors of comparative jurisprudence in Syria and Iraq as well as the great scholar Muhammad Al-Didow al-Shanqeeti agree with her fatwa.

We are sitting in the masjid. Front row, clean clothes on, ready to hear something that will inspire us, teach us, and give us gems of spiritual wisdom gleaned from the mountain of Prophethood. Our hearts fill with hope that today will be the day that a young, vibrant and dynamic speaker, or a wise, seasoned, and knowledgeable scholar will step up and deliver the message that our hearts so desperately yearn to hear.

A man steps up with a jumble of papers in his hand. He begins.

Speaking? No…Reading. Verbatim.

In an accent that makes us wonder if it was Arabic we just heard or an ancient form of Na’vi, “Today, we are going to learn about faith.”

The first fifteen minutes will be spent on telling you that iman means faith, belief.
The second ten will be spent telling you that you need more of it.
The last five will tell you that you suck for not having enough.

Your hopes are dashed almost immediately as you realize that there is no dynamic speaker or scholar today – but there is someone who is about to read to you the teacher’s notes from what might possibly be a second grade Sunday school class at the local masjid.

What will we do? First, we must understand that the purpose of the Friday khutbah is to remind, exhort, inspire, and engage the community on the spiritual, social, moral, ethical, philosophical, cultural, and political issues which affect it – and draw it all back to loving, serving, and glorifying God and improving the human condition. When the khutbah at any given masjid absolutely fails to do this on a long-term basis, we MUST bring it up to the management of the masjid in a polite, gentle, and eager manner. We cannot sit and complain if we are too lazy to advise and offer alternatives.

But on the actual day that we are delivered a khutbah which does not engage us, we still have a good alternative (excluding falling asleep or playing with our phones) – and that is to engage the khutbah ourselves.

First, we must learn to listen humbly to the khutbah. Then…we can actively engage it and have a good and productive time!

Part I: Points to Consider in Listening to the Khutbah

1. We worship Allah – we do not worship the spiritual high that may sometimes come with worshiping Allah. Often times, we are blessed with incredible feelings of profundity, awe, and grateful servitude when worshiping Our Creator. These feelings and states are mentioned in virtually all the books of tazkiyyah (purifying the soul). However, we should always strive to worship our Lord whether that feeling comes in a prayer or not, whether the khutbah is intellectually and spiritually stimulating, or not. The worship is to obey Allah’s command, not to chase a spiritual or intellectual high. One of the greatest mistakes of the saalik (one seeking spiritual closeness to God), is to focus on the spiritual high, and not on the worship itself. If the spiritual high ever falters, he begins to doubt his worship and may even become lazy in it. He has made his goal the feeling, not the actual act of obedience and submission to Allah.

So we should remind ourselves that just being in the masjid and listening to the sermon, is by itself a blessed opportunity to worship God and follow the Sunnah of His Prophet (saw).

2. We must be humble in what we think we know when we think we’ve heard something similar.

Shaykh Abdul Fattah Abu Ghuddah (may Allah have Mercy upon him) wrote:

“If a person started telling you or your group something that you know very well, you should pretend as if you do not know it. Do not rush to reveal your knowledge or to interfere with the speech. Instead, show your attention and concentration. The honorable follower Imam ‘Ata ibn Abi Rabah said: ‘A young man would tell me something that I may have heard before he was born. Nevertheless, I listen to him as if I have never heard it before.’

Khalid bin Safwan Al-Tamimi, who was with the two caliphs Omar bin Abdul Aziz; and Hisham bin Abdul Malik, said: ‘If a person tells you something you have heard before, or news that you already learned, do not interrupt him or her to exhibit your knowledge to those present. This is a rude and ill manner.’ The honorable Imam ‘Abdullah bin Wahab Al-Qurashi Al-Masri, a companion of Imam Malik, Al-Laith bin Sa’d, and Al-Thawri, said: ‘Sometimes a person would tell me a story that I have heard before his parents had wed. Yet I listen as if I have never heard it before.'”

Al-Hafiz Al-Khatib Al-Baghdadi said in a poem:

“A talk never interrupt
Though you know it in and out”

Recognizing that new shades of meaning, new contexts, and new ideas may be exposed to us about verses and ahaadith that we had heard before, should keep us humble and eager, listening for knowledge.

Often times, we will hear the beginning of a verse or hadith, and quickly complete it in our heads, mentally turning off our listening because we assume we already know exactly what will be quoted as well as how it will be explained. This practice, when it becomes a habit, will keep us from learning new, important, and amazing tidbits of knowledge in the Friday khutbahs.

3. Listen for gems. Every khutbah, even a bad, lazy, ill-prepared one, has at least one gem of reflection for you if you seek.

Even in the khutbahs which seem to be incredibly boring, or have been drawn verbatim from the most ancient Islamic text – we will find that the beauty of Prophetic wisdom still colors the speech and will bring to us at least one beautiful gems. In a khutbah I once listened to, as I was almost on the verge of slumber due to a long day at work, it was repeated over and over again that the dunya (this world) was bad. There was an almost drone-like recitation of various ayat with a lack of proper Arabic pronunciation that made me cringe, and English grammar which was reminiscent of Yoda from Star Wars.

Then suddenly as the khutbah drew to a close, he quoted Imam Ghazali’s beautiful analogy: “The believer is the ship and the dunya is the water. As long as the water remains outside the ship, it will sail through it. But once the water enters the ship, it will sink. So navigate through the dunya but do not let it enter your heart and sink you into itself.”

The analogy nearly brought a tear to my eye and I wondered what a loser I would have been had I just dozed off like the others had done or played with my phone or stared at the wall blankly. Regardless of who is speaking, if the khateeb is aiming to remind you about our Lord, we should pay attention, and such gems will find their way to our ears – and insha’Allah – our hearts.

Part II: Engage the Khutbah

4. Whenever repetitive advice is given, remember in your mind that you aren’t the best you could be at this and start taking down points in your head about how to improve.

Often times, the advice given in khutbahs is repetitive and not crafted in a manner that is particularly engaging. The khateeb may do little more than quote some verses and ahadeeth that you could have looked up yourself. There is no effort to make you think and make you ponder upon your condition –  and you have heard it hundreds of times before, from parents, teachers, Sunday school instructors, ‘ulama, other khateebs, and from books and lectures. This advice may be centered around:

• You should pray (more/better/on time);
• You should read Qur’an (more/better/with reflection);
• You should give charity (more);
• You should be kind to people;
• You should be more pious and aware of God;
• Etc.

None of the above statements are weak or simple. Behind them are oceans of wisdom. The people of knowledge and dynamic speakers have the blessing and ability to give the above advices their DUE RIGHT, and put them forward with the kind of zeal, energy, and enthusiasm, that the power and greatness of such advice deserves. Your khateeb on a given Friday may not.

Rather than smugly thinking to ourselves: “I know this advice” and tuning out the khateeb, the best way to benefit is turn the repetitive advice of the khateeb into a self-reflection and thinking process that will give you enough steam to last the rest of the khutbah while paying attention. Use the time to plan and strategize how you will implement the advice, instead of sitting there bored and sleepy. Examples are:

• Pray Better: “What can I actually do to make my prayer better. Should I learn more about what I am saying? Is there a way I can make sure I wake up for fajr? How can I focus better in Salah…maybe I should learn the translations and explanations of more Surahs, etc.”
• Read Qur’an: “What can I do to better my own relationship with the Qur’an? What is my favorite moment with the Quran that I can remember that made me realize how awesome God is and how wonderful His book is? How can I try and relive those moments and how should I begin reading again? What is my favorite surah and why do I love it so much?”
• Be Kind: “When do I lose the most patience with people and act without kindness? Am I rude to anyone? How can I be a better person in treating my family? My kids? Strangers?”

So, when it has become clear to us that the khutbah will be no more than a list of repetitive sentences about the same advice, we should take that time to actively begin finding our shortcomings in our application of that aspect of the deen, and start creating a strategy to better ourselves as we listen.

5. When Qur’anic verses are quoted without due justice to the message or meaning of the verse, begin pondering about the ayah and how it connects to what is being said. If you know the deeper explanation, ponder upon it.

Often times, a khateeb may quote a Qur’anic ayah and give a terrible translation or explanation of it that does not do it justice. Rather than becoming bored or upset about it or letting the verse go, think about the explanation you have read or learned and how you can better implement the message in your life.

If the khateeb says:

“And Indeed you (Oh Prophet) are upon the most supreme and excellent of character.”

and then does not provide any detail, we should start to think of all of the wonderful stories we know about how the Prophet’s character was beyond question. From his generosity to the weak, his kindness to his family, his tenderness towards slaves and orphans, his smile and attitude which would make each person feel that he was the most beloved to him. Then allow this to connect into the khutbah to fill in the blanks that the khateeb may not have filled in himself.

6. When Ahadith are quoted without explanation, think about the implications of the Ahadith in your life, and imagine what the context of the Prophet must have been like based on whatever information you have.

Many times, we hear various Ahadith repeated in khutbahs without due justice or connection to the subject matter. Often times we hear: “Actions are by intention” and we immediately become bored because we have heard that hadith ever since the beginning of our understanding of Islam.

Instead of becoming bored, we can ponder upon the state of our own intentions in every action we have taken that day, that week, or that month. We can think about what the Prophet’s environment was like at the time when the migration to Madinah had just occurred and some people had migrated for various reasons such as monetary gain or to marry someone, rather than for the sake of the Allah and His Messenger. We can imagine what it was like when the Companions heard the Prophet say this, and relayed it to each other. We can think about why so many hadith collections begin with this hadith.

If possible, try to place the hadith into the context of the Seerah of the Prophet and understand what life must have been like for the Companions when this Hadith was stated.

Allowing our minds to think, ponder, and reflect, will allow us to engage the hadith to call us to action and reflection, rather than almost arrogantly responding in our minds with: “I’ve heard that one already so many times!”

7. When all else fails, start drawing together all the knowledge and everything good you have heard on this subject and bring it to bear upon the material the khateeb is presenting. Focus upon softening your heart through these thoughts and letting them settle in your mind, and then focus on small practical steps to implement the advice of the khateeb.

If the khutbah (ex. about gratitude to God) is going extremely bad, and you understand for the 50th time that you should be grateful to Allah and no new information has been provided in the past 10 minutes, you should begin to think about every single hadith, verse, idea, beautiful thought, and awesome statement you have ever heard on gratitude toward Allah, and allow those thoughts to inspire you. Reflect upon them to make up for the lack of reflection in the khutbah and allow them to carry you away in the journey of reflection and implementation.

8. Don’t judge the khutbah, judge yourself.

No matter how bad a khutbah is, it is not a speech competition or a show. It is not meant to be picked apart by our critical – sometimes arrogant – minds for intellectual deconstruction over lunch.

The khutbah is meant to advise you and remind you. No matter how bad it might be, the point remains, we are not as good as we could be in pleasing Allah and perfecting ourselves as His slaves. Rather than focus on how bad it is in telling us to be grateful, we should focus on the actual idea of being grateful. Take the good, leave the bad. Be grateful that you are blessed with the guidance of being in the masjid.

9. For students of tajweed, Arabic, and Islamic studies:

Be careful of letting arrogance enter into your heart as your listen to the khutbah. Many khutbahs you hear may be given by people who have not studied the recitation of the Qur’an, the Arabic language, or any subjects in Islamic studies akin to what you have studied.

This can easily become an opportunity for Shaytan to come into the heart and whisper about how much more knowledge you have than this person and how it sucks for you to sit there and listen. This is a trick. Rather, think upon your own state 5 years, 10 years, 15 years ago, and be grateful that Allah brought you to hear His words today.

Question:

I understand that hijab is required, and I’ve been wearing it for some time now but I feel like putting it on might have been a mistake.  I don’t feel like it’s made me become a better Muslim, and I feel almost like I’m deceiving people because they look at me as an example even though I’m still struggling with a lot of things. Also, if I take it off, is it really something Allah will punish me for? It seems like such a petty thing. Isn’t the most important thing having a clean heart?

Answer:

Assalaamu `alaykum dear questioner,

Thank you for asking this question which opens up a number of important issues, and for entrusting us enough to share with us some of what you’re struggling with. I ask Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala – exalted is He) that He makes the words that I write beneficial to you and others who are reading, and that He leads you to the best decisions.

I’d like to start by addressing what I believe is the least important factor in this equation, and that is ‘what other people might think.’ It should never be the case that we alter our practice of Islam or our worship for the sake of other people, or what they might think or assume. People may be quick to judge or jump to conclusions, but whatever thoughts or opinions they have are strictly their responsibility, and not something we should be overly concerned with.

You said that you’re worried that wearing hijab may be deceiving, because people see you as better than you really are. But in truth all of us are sinners, and it is only from Allah’s mercy upon us that He is as-Siteer – the One who veils our faults and our flaws, and makes us seem better than we really are in others’ eyes. One famous scholar said, “If sins had a smell no one would come near me because of the stench!” Every single one of us has deficiencies and weaknesses, has made mistakes, has taken missteps or is presently taking them. We only do the best that we can, and any good deed that Allah grants us the opportunity to perform should be considered a blessing that we take advantage of. Instead of worrying about not being good enough, we can instead consider this as an opportunity to be thankful to Allah for concealing our negatives, and pray, “O Allah, forgive me for what they do not know about me, and make me even better than what they think.”

You will be hard-pressed to find anyone on this earth who can be considered ‘worthy’ of being a representative of Islam, because everyone has one dimension or another in their faith or practice in which they are lacking. However that doesn’t mean we should stop encouraging each other by whatever means are available to us.  There is a very beautiful hadith related to this issue:

Anas relates that, “We asked the Prophet ﷺ, ‘O Messenger of Allah ﷺ, shouldn’t we refrain from calling others to goodness if we don’t practice all good things ourselves, and shouldn’t we refrain from forbidding wrong things until we ourselves have abstained from all the bad?’ ‘No,’ he replied, ‘You should call others to goodness even if you don’t do all good, and you should forbid bad things even if you don’t abstain from all of them yourselves.'” (Al-Tabarani)

Remember that by wearing hijab you are not saying to others ‘I am Islam’, but simply that ‘I am a Muslim’, meaning – I am someone who is trying to follow this religion, who accepts it as truth, sees beauty in it and hopes to beautify myself with it.  I remember a quote attributed to Yusuf Islam: “Islam is not a state of being but it is a process of becoming,” – becoming more, become better, striving to reach that state of perfect submission and connection with Allah Most High, and May He help all of us achieve that, ameen.

You also said that you feel hijab has not really made you a better Muslim. A lot of times when a person first starts performing a good deed they feel an iman ‘rush’, a feeling of happiness at doing something good for the sake of Allah and energy to do more, improve themselves, etc. However, after some time, when that action starts to become just another part of a daily routine, it loses that power, and that increase in iman and excitement dissipates.

What a person needs, instead of focusing on those ‘rushes’, is a steady and constant diet of good deeds and spiritual nourishment. We cannot rely on one particular deed to ‘make’ us better Muslims. Instead, we have to take the reigns and make sure we are doing things regularly that increase us in iman, like recitation of the Qur’an, performing salah with consciousness and focus, dhikr, and so on. Wearing hijab can definitely be one of those things, but it is only one part of a whole that needs to be constructed. Just like exercise is important for good health, yet it has to be combined with eating right and many other things in order for the person to see the desired results in the end.

Also know that there is a direct relationship between a person’s actions and their inner state. We know that when someone is in a high state of iman it’s natural for him or her to start performing more good deeds. However, we may overlook the fact that the opposite is true as well – that just performing good deeds, even if one may not be ‘feeling it’, can affect us and change us. The limbs are inroads, and performing good deeds with them can soften a hardened heart, bring enlightenment to a closed mind, and give a person a feeling of rejuvenation and desire to come closer to Allah and do more positive things. I heard a scholar say that if one is feeling troubled, confused or in a low state of iman, “go quickly to action”; because good deeds can bring about that inner reawakening one may need. If we don’t see a change happening in us when we do a good deed, that doesn’t mean we should stop it but that perhaps we need to supplement it with others in order to gather the momentum needed to see results.

Thirdly, you are absolutely correct when you say that the most important thing is for us to have purified hearts. Allah (swt) emphasizes this in the Qur’an when He states that on the Day of Judgment nothing will be of benefit to the servant except “one who brings to Allah a clean, sound heart” (26:89). The question is, how does one achieve that? What purifies us and cleanses our hearts?

In our times we find that some people feel that we’ve reached a more ‘enlightened era’ in which spirituality can be derived solely from philosophy and ideas, and need not be bound by rituals and details of religion. However those who propound this notion forget that Allah did not create us as minds and souls alone – but coupled them with our physical bodies. We cannot deny the fact that we are body and soul, content and form, together, and each has its own needs and specifications for refinement. This is a sunnah of Allah in the way that we were created, and why prayer, fasting, and all our spiritual endeavors have very specific physical components. These forms house within them dimensions of meaning, but it is only from enacting them precisely that a profound spirituality can be achieved.

Purifying our hearts is the goal, but the means to reaching that goal is through the very real and specific physical prescriptions and commandments that Allah (swt) has given us. It is through His obedience and through following the teachings of our deen that we clean and polish our hearts. It is for this reason that I have to say that hijab is not something trivial. Anything that leads us to spiritual awareness, elevation, and purification – that helps us come closer to Allah – cannot be considered trivial or petty. Perhaps it is more likely that there are hidden depths within it that we do not perceive, or that we are not putting it in the proper context of its deeper purpose and meaning.

About punishment from Allah: a better way of looking at this issue is not considering the smallness or pettiness of the sin, but the greatness of the One whom we are sinning against. From His infinite wisdom, all-encompassing knowledge and vast mercy, in accordance to His Law – which is at its core about attaining benefit and warding off harm – He has instructed us to perform this action. In the Qur’an Allah says, ‘It may be that you dislike something and in it is goodness for you’ (2:216); ‘It may be that you dislike a thing but Allah brings about from it a great deal of good.’ (4:19) If someone chooses to step away from a prescribed action knowingly, we cannot deny that this is a sin, and that Allah holds us to account for our sins. However we always have hope in and pray for Allah’s mercy and kindness, as we know He can forgive all sins if He chooses.

In closing, I want to leave you with a beautiful quote from a Hadith Qudsi. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala said:

“My servant draws not near to Me with anything more beloved by Me than the religious duties I have enjoined upon him.” (Bukhari)

Know, dear questioner, that if you feel far from Allah, the solution is not to stop what you are doing and find a different way, but to persevere and continue on the path you are on, even though it is hard. This will make you beloved to Allah, and one who feels the happiness of being close to Him and being shaded by His Loving Mercy and care.

May Allah enliven and enlighten our hearts and grant us closeness to Him. May He make us people who love to worship Him, and through our worship become close to Him and gain His love. May He make our hearts firm and steadfast on our deen, and grant us strength and bravery in our spiritual struggles. May He guide us to the best decisions and make easy for us the path of khayr [goodness]. Ameen ya Rabb.

WAllahu a`lam – and He alone knows best.

Wasalaamu alaykum.

One of the biggest problems facing religion today is modern relevance. For many people of faith, this means coming to terms with reforming their religion to fit modern times by dismissing or “re-interpreting” scripture. The beauty of Islam among religions is in its universality, its compatibility with science, and its versatile legal tradition which remains relevant across times and cultures.

Modernity between Acceptance of Reality and Rejectionism

For the Muslim, the correct attitude is not to resist or reject modernity, rather embrace it with our divine law. Unfortunately, some “conservative” Muslims fear modernity for one reason or another, thus detracting from their relevance. This way of thinking alienates many educated, reasonable Muslims, because they have to live in reality and Islam seems to be at odds with it.

We have ample means of accommodating modernity embedded in the Qur’an, the Sunnah and our vast, rich, 14-century legacy of jurisprudence. So for us, it is not a matter of reform per se, rather that of revivalist research of scriptural interpretation. The Islamic orthodoxy of law is quite vast and versatile. There are two issues that have hindered the proper manifestation of this versatility: closing of the doors of ijtihad (deriving new rulings from legal principles) for centuries, and a huge decline in the general quality of education in the Muslim world in the last two centuries. These two issues have led to some scholars blindly following certain, fixed schools of thought, and in turn to the subjugation of religious values to popular culture; thus our current dilemma/dichotomy.

Female Role in Society

One of the issues of modernity is female leadership. So you have the culture and its supporting fatwas from the Muslim world that women are not to be leaders outside of motherhood. You have a general consensus that women can be scholars and preach Islam, but only to other women, lest they corrupt the men with their sex appeal! In the west, Muslims are divided three ways over the issue of female leadership.

1. Since immigrants are still the major stakeholders in the Mosques, most mosques have not had a female board member, executive director (Amirah) and have never had a woman scholar or preacher speak to the community.
2. Some movements have started to make women Imams, leading prayers and giving Friday sermons to mixed gatherings. This has no traction in mainstream mosques due to the lack of precedent in the history of Islamic Law.
3. Some Mosques are empowering sisters as female board members and executive directors, and inviting female preachers to speak to mixed gatherings. They are reviving some historical precedents of Islamic Law to achieve relevance in dealing with modernity.

Women Scholars Preaching Islam to Mixed Gatherings

The subject I would like to tackle now, with divine providence, is having female scholars who advise and preach to both men and women. Naturally, some people will object, saying it is un-Islamic to have a woman speak to a mixed crowd, counsel or give fatwa to men. The same people would not object to a male scholar counseling a woman, outside of seclusion of course! To give them the benefit of the doubt, they have never seen or heard of this in the Muslim community. Here lies the power of culture in defining our traditions. The resolution of such issues should not be determined by what we see people doing, rather by what Islam says about the matter.

So the question is, what does Islam say about having women scholars, preachers and teachers who address both men and women?

The Holy Qur’an tells us:

“The believing men and women are patrons of each other. They command to good, rebuke evil, establish prayers, give alms, obeying God and His messenger. They will have God’s mercy. Indeed God is Mighty and Wise.” (Qur’an, 9:71)

This verse, like many others, puts men and women on equal footing regarding the practice of religion. It is especially significant regarding our question, because its linguistics equates men and women working together in preaching.

Umar sums up the drastic change to Arabia regarding women

“.كنا في الجاهلية لا نعد للنساء شيئا حتى أنزل الله فيهن ما أنزل وقسم لهن ما قسم،” و في رواية: “فلما جاء الإسلام وذكرهن الله، رأينا لهن بذلك علينا حقا”

 “Back in the days of ignorance before Islam, we didn’t consider women of much significance at all. This all changed with the emergence of Islam in which God mentioned them with respect and gave them new rights then we realized their rights over us.” (Sahih al-Bukhari, 5843)

Aisha – The Founding Mother Scholar, Judge and Orator

There are many texts which unquestionably show that Aisha was a huge precedent for female scholarship. Trained for 9 years in the house of the Prophet ﷺ, Abu Musa al-Ash’ari the great scholar of the companions is reported to have said about her:

“.ما أُشكل علَينا أصحابُ محمَّدٍ صلَّى اللهُ عليْهِ وسلَّمَ حَديثٌ قطُّ ، فسأَلنا عائشةَ ، إلَّا وجَدنا عِندها منه عِلمًا”

“Sometimes we the companions of Muhammad ﷺ would get confused about Islamic teachings. We would then go and ask Aisha about itand we found she always had the knowledge we were seeking in it.” (Jami` at-Tirmidhi, 3883)

It was also authentically transmitted by al-Zubair bin al-Awam, the great companion who was of the six nominated by Umar to decide among them the Caliph after him:

ما رأيت أحدا من الناس اعلم بالقرآن ولا بفريضة ولا بحلال ولا بحرام ولا بشعر ولا بحديث العرب ولا بنسب من عائشة رضي الله عنها

“I never saw anyone more knowledgeable of the Qur’an, Islamic Law, poetry, Arab history and lineages than Aisha radi
Allahu
`anha
 (may God be pleased with her).” (Al-Hakim, 4/11)

In his masterpiece on the biographies of the greatest prominent Muslims of our past, Imam al-Dhahabi relates that the famous scholar and general of the tabi’in (the generation of Muslims who were born after the death of the Prophet ﷺbut who were contemporaries of His companions) in Iraq, Al-Ahnaf bin Qays, said:

سمعت خطبة أبي بكر الصديق وعمر بن الخطاب وعثمان بن عفان وعلي بن أبي طالب والخلفاء من بعدهم فما سمعت الكلام من في مخلوق أحسن ولا أفخم من في عائشة

“I heard the sermons of Abu Bakr, Umar, Uthman, Ali and the Caliphs after them and yet I never heard speech from the mouth of anyone better or more eloquent than from Aisha.” (Siyar al-A’lam al-Nubalaa)

This should close the case, but some might say that Aisha was an exception. Well, she was in fact unique, since she was the greatest woman scholar among the companions, and greater than the top handful of men as well. That being said, as the mother of the believers, she naturally became a standard of excellence and an example to be followed by other women.

In his famous work Al-Isabah fee Tamyeez as-Sahabah, Imam ibn Hajar al-Asqalani reports on 1543 women scholars of Islamic Law, Hadith and Arabic literature!

As for teaching, the great granddaughter of the Prophet ﷺ Nafeesah bint al-Hasan was reported to have lectured to the masses in the Prophet’s mosque as well as in Cairo. It is also well-documented that scholars like Ibn Taymiyyah, Ibn Hajar, Ibn al-Jawzi and Imam al-Thahabi were all taught by female scholars.

For those of you who are still not convinced that it is acceptable for a sister to assert herself,

Imam Al-Haythami relates a story about the woman Umar put in charge of the policing of the marketplace of Madinah. Yahya bin Abi Saleem said:

رأيْتُ سَمْرَاءَ بنتَ نُهَيْكٍ وكانَتْ قد أَدْرَكَتِ النبيَّ صلَّى اللهُ عليهِ وسلَّمَ عليْها دِرْعٌ غَلِيظٌ وخِمارٌ غَلِيظٌ ؛ بيدِهِا سَوْطٌ تُؤَدِّبُ الناسَ ، وتَأْمُرُ بالمعروفِ وتَنْهَى عَنِ المنكرِ

“I saw Samraa bint Nuhayk, who met the Prophet ﷺ, wearing a rough Hijab with chainmail and a whip in her hand. She would discipline the people commanding to good and rebuking evil.” (Majma’ al-Zawa’id 9/267)

The majority of our scholars throughout history have said that there is nothing wrong with listening to a woman’s speech unless it is flirtatious or provocative. Both men and women were prohibited from (prolonged) looking at an attractive person. To say a woman clergy member cannot speak in front of men because some men may find her attractive is the same as prohibiting women from listening to a male Imam, since women have desires as well, and were equally rebuked from looking where there is attraction.

Just because the Muslims have strayed from the scholarly tradition of old and have become used to certain ways of dealing does not mean that our traditional sources of law do not support a different way of doing things more suitable for the reality we live in today.

It is of the utmost importance that we not judge Islam by the state of Muslims today. Our religion is much bigger and better than that. There were many great generations who were not only relevant but standard setters for civilization in general wherever they were.

There are many causes and struggles going on here in the US right now. Our religion is completely capable of addressing and solving the world’s problems. We are obligated to create a generation that has the right tools to bring moral balance to issues like feminism, economy, racism, class warfare, political corruption, oppression or anything else related to morality or ethics.

By Inayah Zaheen

A few months ago we were invited to someone’s house for dinner, where I was asked a question by one of the guests:

“Why don’t you make your mother wear the hijab?”

I love wearing the headscarf—to externally be dressed in a way that enables me to maximize on worship (stop, drop, sujood—prostration—almost anywhere!), but also to be able to walk down the street and very visibly be noted to be a Muslim woman. I chose to wear it not only to follow the wisdom and instruction of my Creator, but also because I believe it represents something else: that I am not defined nor measured by social standards of beauty. I will not lie and pretend it was not difficult, but I love to reflect on the story of Ibrahim, `alayhi as salaam (peace be upon him), and how he was willing to sacrifice his own son in his love for, and faith in Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He). While I can by no means equate covering my hair in public to a sacrifice so great, for me this difficulty was made easier when reminding myself that although I love my hair (not that I’m now bald), my love for Allah has always been, and should always be, far greater. AlhamdulilLah (praise be to God).

I am 22 years old, and I started to wear the headscarf when I was 19, after many months and years of contemplation, consideration and prayer. It is not wholly unusual in my extended family to choose to wear a headscarf, but it is also not the norm. When faced with this question however, my answer was prompt: My mother is a million times a better Muslim than I am masha’Allah (what God wills). When I reach her level, maybe I’ll find myself in a position to give her advice.

My mother, masha’Allah, wears hijab in every single aspect of the concept and word—without physically wearing a headscarf. As well as the fact that my mother lives and breathes Islam, that she has the most beautiful sabr (patience) that I have ever seen, that after her first child died, she grew in iman (faith) in Allah’s plan and in love for Allah (swt), she is also humble, modest, loving and of course – Jannah (heaven) is beneath her feet! She works as a mother with all her passion, and as a doctor with all her dedication. Her determination, strength and beauty are wonderful, and I love her dearly. She is not the only one I know like this—there are many friends of mine who are so humble, modest, kind, wise and genuinely representative of Islam in their every action and word without physically wearing the headscarf, that I find great role models in them, and aspire to have that degree of wonderful character and piety. I am by no means undermining the headscarf and outer hijab, but at the same time I ask you all: please do not undermine the equal importance of inner hijab.

It only takes a few seconds to scroll on Instagram and see the array of hateful and judgmental comments against sisters—headscarf-wearing and non-headscarf-wearing. Sometimes it truly makes me want to cry. At which point did we decide we could demean and belittle others, based on our perceptions of their practise of Islam? Headscarf, no headscarf, half-headscarf, or even bikini—nothing legitimises being rude and disrespectful to any human being, let alone a Muslim sister. Of course, giving advice is important, but when we are so obsessed with Islam’s teaching on dress, why do we not extend this to observing Islam’s teachings on etiquettes in giving advice? On top of this, while Allah (swt) is the best judge of intentions, ask yourselves this: is my intention by writing this comment to make a point, boost my ego, or truly inspire hearts and minds with the words of Allah (swt) and the Prophet ﷺ (peace be unto him)?

Instead, let us always learn from one another. Such an approach can only seek to increase our humility. Instead of: what can I point out about this sister that is bad/worse than me, let us ask: what is this sister doing that is better than what I do? How is she practising Islam in a way I can learn to practise Islam? Perhaps she gives more charity than I do, perhaps she listens with more sincerity to others, perhaps she never backbites. Masha’Allah. When I look at my mother, there is an infinite list of things I can learn from her, and I love that about her.

Ultimately, Allah (swt) is the judge of everyone, and He is the most JUST of judges, subhan’Allah (glory to God). Let us increase in love for one another, seek out the good in one another, and always remember that Allah (swt) knows us all infinity times better than we know ourselves, AlhamdulilLah.

To those who have been faced with similar questions, perhaps your answer will be different to mine—and that is fine! But to those who have ever felt demeaned because of comments about hijab, know that no one can claim to speak on behalf of Allah (swt), and He knows best what is in the heart. To those of you who genuinely give advice, keep it up. I am sure you already do, but also take some time to listen to, learn from, and appreciate the struggles of the sister you are speaking to.

So why don’t I ask my mother to wear the hijab? Because she already does. If Allah (swt) wills it for her, the beaming example of her inner hijab may one day manifest into an outer headscarf, but for the moment, she is my mother, and Jannah is beneath her feet <3 AlhamdulilLah.

I end with one of my favourite hadiths (narrations):

“Taqwa is not in the length of your beard, or in the layers of cloth you wear. The Prophet ﷺ said, ‘Taqwa is here,’ and he pointed to his chest.” (Reported by Muslim)

And one of my favourite ayahs (verses):

“Indeed, your Lord is most knowing of who has gone astray from His way, and He is most knowing of the [rightly] guided.” (Qur’an, 68:7)

I recently moved to a country in which cat-calls and invasive comments (in certain areas) have become a part of the norm. While walking down the street, it is expected that a girl will be commented at and called out for anything she is wearing. But that’s not the part that was strange to me. What really stood out to me was the fact that these men would make these comments as if they were entitled to say these things. As if the mere existence of a woman gives them the pure right to say (but not do) whatever pleases them. It was almost as if the message behind their words was actually “If we don’t look at them, and comment at them, what’s the use of having them around?”

At first, when analyzing the situation, I thought it was a young male problem. I thought that perhaps these youth just hadn’t matured yet or hadn’t realized the manners in which a woman should be dealt with. But then I realized that wasn’t the case. It was more than that. I began to notice that some of the women would actually take pride in getting commented at (and I don’t mean corny-at times funny-pick up lines, I mean full out disgusting comments). I also witnessed grown women laughing and nodding approvingly at men whistling at “nice looking” women. As a woman, it is natural to want to look attractive. It’s in a woman’s nature to want to look nice and feel nice. But is that the same thing as wanting to be looked at by strange men? Is it the same thing as wanting to be ogled at and commented at by men who have no relation or duties toward us?

I was perplexed at first, but then I realized that this was a much bigger problem than what I first thought. It was a problem of self-worth and self-definition. And I began to realize that this problem is not just one that lies within the culture that I was witnessing first hand, but also in our entire lives as women. So many of us women have begun to define who we are by the comments from others, the pleasure of others, the opinion of others; so many of us have forgotten where our true worth lies. It’s like there’s an emptiness inside that we scramble around trying to fill in any way possible even if that way is normally degrading and humiliating. And the sad part is we don’t even realize that that is what we are doing. And we don’t realize that the approval of God or focusing on the approval of God would fill up that aching emptiness better and faster than any of those comments that are received on the streets or in restaurants or even just that look in someone’s eyes. Our validation should come from one source, and one source alone. Charles Upton beautifully sums up this concept in his book Virtues of the Prophet by reminding us that “If we know for certain that God sees all we do and all we are, we will not be tempted to ask others to validate us by displaying our virtues, nor will we tempt others to judge us by displaying our sins. Only God can validate us; only God can judge.”

When we go out seeking the approval of others we are not only harming ourselves but we are making relationships and normal interactions difficult. We are allowing our own intimate space to be invaded and by doing that, we are actually invading the personal space of others. But if we are self-sufficient and we know that no matter what is said or done, when we walk out the door, our self-worth comes only for God, we allow ourselves and others to actually experience life. Charles Upton says that “this is the root of Courtesy. If we are not just intellectually but also emotionally certain that we are always in the presence of God, if we understand that He has first claim on our intimacy, then we will not demand absolute intimacy from others, which is something that no-one can really give. We will no longer try to command other people’s attention; we will stop prying into their affairs.” When we grant ourselves the courtesy of intimacy only with God, we naturally grant this courtesy to others.

But I also realized that the issue of women’s self-definition/self worth is not the only problem. The problem is also in some men, (note: I said some men. This does not pertain to all men just as my comments about women do not pertain to all women), in the sense that they feel like they have the right to look, the right to comment and the right to be pleased by anyone in their presence. They act as if they are the center of the universe and women are placed in this world simply as an enjoyment to them. I was once riding in a taxi with some family members and the (older) driver began to explain the concept to one of my male relatives. He explained, in what in his mind was a fact, that “when you look at a car and make comments about a beautiful car, what do you take from it? Nothing. What hurt comes out of it? Nothing. You are simply admiring it and making it known that you admire it. It’s the same thing with women: as long as we don’t touch, it’s not a problem.” And the truth is that this absurdity is not the problem that must be fixed, it is a symptom of an ever bigger problem: distance from God. Charles Upton addresses this issue highlighting the root of this evil, and similar evils: “To ogle and peep at other people, whether or not this is sexually motivated, is to treat them as objects. It is to say, in effect, ‘I am the one who is real, the one who is conscious; this other one only exists through my consciousness of him; he is not a person in his own right; he is nothing but a part of my experience.’ When a given society loses its belief in God, or at least its concrete sense that God is actually watching, people turn each other into objects in just this way. We forget that we are dependent for our very existence upon God’s attention to us; we treat our separate individuality, our ego, as if it were God. And when we no longer experience ourselves as dependent upon God, we become dependent upon each other for our very feeling of existence. We include the other within the circle of our ego as if he or she were a personal possession, and then demand that the other do the same with us. All this is a violation of Modesty. In the Prophet’s words, ‘Allah has mercy on the slave who feels true modesty in the face of his Lord, who protects his mind and what it perceives.”

In the end, this is what this well-rounded group of issues comes down to: we have forgotten our dependency upon God. We have forgotten that regardless of the opinion of man, if we don’t have the approval of God, our time has been wasted. We have forgotten that our self-worth is to be based purely on our relationship with the creator. And because we have forgotten this big part of our lives, we have begun to scramble around like a lost puppy searching for his mother, taking any kind of validation we can get from anyone who wants to give it. We try to get our humanity from the words, gazes, and comments of others. We try to feel alive by the opinion of others. And this, in and of itself, is a recipe for disaster because we will never please everyone. When we place our lives in the hands of the creation, we will live in a constant roller coaster—moving left and right with the whims of others. But when we place our lives in the hands of our Creator, our lives will then begin to even out. Our emotional state will not be based on the unstable opinion of humankind, but will be based on the stable opinion of the Ever-Lasting Creator. And really and truly, He’s the only one that matters anyway.

Think modesty (hayā’). What comes to mind? It could be wearing hijāb and dressing modestly. Or maybe it is using decent and clean speech. Or it might be conducting ourselves with dignity and self-respect around the opposite gender. If we know we’ve fallen short in our modesty, we feel the need to change in some way. So, we try to wear more loose-fitting clothes, for example, or wear less make-up. Or we might try to curse a little less, look at lewd images less often, or flirt a little less with a guy friend or girls at work. But sometimes we find it difficult to change these habits and behaviors. Why is that? Part of the reason is that we overlook the inner spiritual dimensions of modesty; we try to cure the symptoms without dealing with the problem at its root. It is almost like trying to save a dried out plant by dipping its leaves in water or fertilizer.

Maybe what needs our attention is less apparent. Maybe it is our attitude towards Allah (swt), or the purity of our hearts, or the depth and strength of our faith in Allah. If we develop modesty and shamefulness in our hearts, it becomes easier for our thoughts, desires, conversations, and actions to reflect that modesty. When we have modesty with Allah, our manners and behavior with His creation will naturally exude more modesty. So, outer modesty is a byproduct and manifestation of the God-consciousness and modesty we nurture within.

I recently read a book almost entirely on the inner dimensions of modesty. It is called Fiqhu`l-Hayā’ (Understanding Modesty) by Muhammad Al-Muqaddim. I’ve translated some excerpts ((Excerpts have been translated with slight modifications. The section headings are not worded exactly as found in the book)) that I felt capture the essence of hayā’ and how it relates to imān and our relationship with Allah (swt). The last translated portion includes ways to adorn our character with more modesty, both internally and externally. May it be of benefit to all insha’Allah (God-willing).

What is Hayā’?

Linguistically, hayā’ is derived from the root hayiyy, which comes from the word hayāh (life). Heavy rain is referred to as hayyan because with it comes the life of the earth, and plants and animals. Similarly, the worldly life and the afterlife are defined through hayā’; whoever does not have hayā’ would be (spiritually) dead in this life, and also miserable in the afterlife. Some linguists have said: “The life in one’s face comes from its hayā’, just as the life of a planted seed comes from watering it.”

The level of one’s hayā’ is based on how much life is in the heart…so the more alive the heart, the more complete the hayā’.

Technically, hayā’ is defined as a change or a state of humility that overtakes a person out of fear of being blameworthy. Ibn Al-Qayyim says: “Hayā’ is a state that emerges from combining exaltation with love, so when the two are coupled, hayā’ is born.” ((Madarij Al-Salikeen 2/274, as found in Manazil Al-Sa’ireen.)) Some scholars say that it stems from feeling shameful in the heart about something and feeling averse to it.

It can also emerge when the servants know that Allah, the Truth, is looking at them, making them more patient with a certain struggle, or making them feel uncomfortable with their own sin, or making them refrain from complaining.

Hayā’ can also come from recognizing the bounty and graciousness one receives. This is because a generous person would not return favorable treatment with mistreatment.

Al-Junayd, may Allah have mercy on him, said: “Hayā’ is seeing the Signs, and being aware of one’s shortcomings. Out of these two will arise a state of hayā’. In reality, hayā’ is a character trait that encourages a person to avoid shameful things and prevents one from neglecting the rights of the One Who deserves them most.” ((Riyad Al-Saliheen, p. 246.))

Hayā’ and Imān

It is narrated that the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (peace be upon him) said: “Hayā’ and imān are two companions, so when one increases, the other also increases.” ((Reported by Al-Hakim.))

He ﷺ also said: “Hayā’ is a part of Imān.” ((Reported by Muslim.)) Imam Al-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) reported that Al-Qadi `Iyad said: “Hayā’ was made to be a part of imān—even if it is innate—because it can either be acquired and adopted like all other acts of righteousness, or it can be one’s natural disposition. However, practicing hayā’ according to Islamic legislation requires that it be acquired with the right intention and with sound knowledge. That is why hayā’ is a part of imān. Another reason is that hayā’ encourages one to do acts of righteousness and it prevents one from committing sins.” ((Al-Nawawi’s Commentary on Sahih Muslim, 2/5.))

Allah’s Love of Modesty

It is narrated that the Prophet ﷺ said: “Verily, Allah the Exalted is Modest and Concealing (Sittīr); and He loves modesty and concealment. So, when any of you bathe, let him conceal himself.” ((Reported by Abu Dawud, An-Nasa’i, al-Baihaqi, and Ahmed.))

Al-Mubarakfuri (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “(The Prophet)’s statement ‘Allah is Modest’ means He is Modest in practice, or shows a lot of Modesty. Describing Allah with the Attribute of Modesty is to be understood in a way most befitting for Allah, just like all His other Attributes; we believe in them but do not delve into how (the traits are manifested).” ((Tuhfat Al-Ahwadhi, Commentary on Jami` Al-Tirmidhi, 9/544.))

Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim Al-Jawziyyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “…Whoever has a trait similar to one of Allah’s attributes, that trait will lead him to Allah, and will bring him closer to Allah’s Mercy, and will make him/her beloved to Allah; for Allah is Most-Merciful, and He loves the merciful; He is Most Generous, and He loves the generous; He is All-Knowing, and He loves the knowledgeable; He is strong, and He loves the strong believer—who is more beloved to Him than the weak believer; He is Modest, and he loves the people of modesty; He is Beautiful and He loves the people of beauty; He is One (witr) and he loves the people of the witr (prayer).” ((Al-Jawab Al-Kafi p. 77.))

Who Deserves Our Modesty?

A person should be modest with Allah, the All-Mighty and Exalted, with the angels, and with oneself. Whoever is modest with people but not with oneself has belittled his self because he does not see it as worthy of his own modesty. Whoever is modest with oneself but not with Allah does not truly know Allah, the All-Mighty and Exalted. As such, the Prophet ﷺ told a man he was advising: “I advise you to have shame with Allah as you would have shame (in the presence) of a righteous man from your people.” ((Reported by Ahmed.))

In the words of Allah, the All-Mighty and Exalted, “Does he not know that Allah sees (everything)?” (Qur’an, 96:14). There is an implied warning to the servant; if he knows that Allah sees him, then he should be ashamed of committing sin.  Whoever knows that the One he worships is observing his worship will be more inclined to adorn it externally with humble reverence and internally with sincerity and presence. Surely, Allah knows the secret glance of the eyes and what the hearts conceal.

The Prophet ﷺ has made modesty a standard and measure for a person’s actions. Nawwas ibn Sam`an, may Allah be pleased with him, reported that he asked the Messenger of Allah ﷺ about righteousness and wrongdoing. So he ﷺ responded: “Righteousness is good character and wrongdoing is what makes you feel discomfort, ((Author’s footnote: Meaning, there is a feeling of reluctance or discomfort [in the chest]. If it occurs in the heart, then it is doubt and fear that [the action] is sinful.)) and that you would hate for people to see (what you are doing).” ((Reported by Muslim.))

One of the areas where modesty [i.e. shamefulness] should be avoided is in seeking knowledge and in educating. `Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “One who does not know should not be ashamed of asking until he has knowledge, and one who is asked about something he does not know should not be ashamed to say ‘I do not know.’” Al-Bukhari said that Mujahid said: “The one who is shy or arrogant does not gain knowledge.” `Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) said: “How great were the women of the Ansar; their modesty did not prevent them from seeking knowledge about their religion.” ((Fath Al-Bari, Commentary on Sahih Al-Bukhari, by Ibn Hajr Al-`Asqalani.))

How Do We Become More Modest?

If a person’s character traits were completely innate, they would be difficult to change, or replace, or adjust. Islamic legislation calls for adopting beautiful moral traits and eliminating bad character traits. If it was not possible to do so, Islamic legislation would not obligate it. Allah, the Most-High, says: “He has succeeded—the one who purifies it, and he has failed—the one who corrupts it.” (Qur’an, 91:9-10)

Despite that, people vary in their ability, capability, or willingness to adopt or change certain character traits. So, if a person is naturally disposed to express a specific quality, it is easier to develop that character trait even further. This is because his innate disposition (fitra) is assisting him. As related to modesty as a character trait, it can be innate, and it can also be acquired. These are some ways to help in acquiring and developing modesty:

1. Refrain from shameless words or actions, such as foul or evil speech. This will aggravate Satan, who beautifies these actions, and tempts people with them. So, not engaging in such actions would actually make him hopeless, and he would in turn retract in disgrace.
2. Continuously learn about the benefits of modesty, and expose one’s heart to them repeatedly. Also, making a commitment to gaining the highest levels of modesty, and actively adorning oneself with it.
3. Strengthen imān and belief in the heart, because modesty is a fruit of imān and knowing Allah, the All-Mighty and Exalted.
4. Worship Allah (swt) by reflecting on His Beautiful Names and Attributes, which bring about Allah-consciousness and excellent (character and behavior). Examples of such Names would be: The Witness, The Overseer, The All-Knowing, The All-Hearing, The All-Seeing, The All-Encompassing, and The Protector. Hatim Al-Asam said: “Make a pact with yourself in three (areas): when you do something, remember that Allah sees you, and when you speak, remember that Allah hears you, and when you are silent, remember Allah’s knowledge of your inner (thoughts, feelings, and being).”
5. Consistently observe the obligatory and recommended worship, like prayer. Allah, the Most-High, said: “Verily, prayer prevents lewdness and evil deeds.” It was said to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ: “So and so prays all night, but when he wakes up he steals!” So, he ﷺ said: “What you mentioned [i.e. his prayers] will [eventually] prevent him from that.” Or he said: “His prayers will prevent him.” ((Reported by Ahmed.)) Zakah is another example. Allah, Most-Glorified, says regarding zakah: “Take a portion of their wealth as charity [zakah] to purify them and increase them with it.” (Qur’an, 9:103)
6. Always be truthful and avoid dishonesty. This is because truthfulness will guide a person to righteousness, and modesty is a part of righteousness. The Prophet ﷺ said: “You should be truthful, for truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to paradise…” ((Reported by Bukhari and Muslim.))
7. Actively practice modesty on a regular basis so that it becomes a natural disposition. This will require beautifying oneself with patience.
8. See righteous people, intermingle with them, listen to them, and learn from their modesty. Some scholars have said: “Enliven your modesty by sitting with those whom you would feel shameful around.” Mujahid said: “If all that a Muslim benefits from his brother is that his feeling of shame with him prevents him from sinning, then that would suffice him.” ((Makarim Al-Akhlaq [p. 84].))
9. Bring to mind the modesty of the greatest example for mankind, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, and learn about his Seerah and his noble traits. Also, bring to mind the modesty of his companions and their lives, especially the righteous caliphs, the ten given glad tidings of paradise, those who witnessed Badr, and the Pledge of Ridwan, and the rest of the Muhajireen and the Ansar, and those who followed in their footsteps from the people of knowledge and faith.
10. Remove oneself from a corrupted environment that keeps one away from good character. Do not accompany those who show little modesty; befriend righteous people instead. In the Prophetic narration about the man who killed one hundred souls, the knowledgeable man said: “…And who can stand between you and a sincere repentance? Go to so and so land, for you will find people there who worship Allah. So, worship Allah with them, and do not return to your land because it is a land of evil…” ((Reported by Bukhari and Muslim.))

We seek Allah’s forgiveness for every misstep, and for every mistake we made with the pen; and we seek His forgiveness for any words that do not match our actions; we seek His forgiveness for anything we showed or revealed of knowledge despite our shortcomings; we ask that He makes us act upon what we know, for His sake only, and that He places this knowledge on our scale of righteous deeds when our deeds are presented before us. Verily, He is Most-Benevolent and Generous.

Hijab (the headscarf, and more broadly the clothes worn to cover a Muslim’s body) and the entire concept of the prescribed modesty in Muslim women’s attire are the subjects of excessive interest all around the world. Hijab is often deemed a form of oppression against women. It remains one of the focal points of the West’s unhealthy obsession with Islam. Therefore, donning the hijab in this critical world can be a daunting task.

I was brought up in a Muslim family where hijab was not very prevalent. Hijab was well-respected, but not practised. I, too, did not wear hijab. I believed that it was the Divine preference and I knew that I should choose to wear one. Yet, I kept putting it off. I needed, but could not gather, that extra bit of strength to go one step further. Two things were keeping me from making that final decision: apprehension of social ridicule and hesitation in making an ultimate commitment. Maybe these two things were intertwined, only showing the lack of deep imaan (faith) within me. I believe my situation was not unique and that many girls find themselves in the same shoes.

Almost after three decades of my life had passed, I could finally feel myself getting ready. Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He) had blessed me with the courage and confidence to reassert my faith in Him. Donning the hijab came naturally to me – and I must say, wearing this so-called ‘symbol of oppression’ has been a liberating experience for me. This sense of submission to Allah (swt), the Almighty, is purely therapeutic to the soul.

What made this happen? The insecurities and apprehension that one has in early years tend to wither away with age, experience and personal achievements. This maturity empowers you to make the right choice. This is true for every aspect of life and it certainly worked for me.

On top of this, I was fortunate enough to see many minority Muslims living in the West. Their commitment to Islam in a society adverse to it impressed me to the core. The way they carry themselves socially is, in itself, a beautiful da`wah (call) to Islam. The bond between fellow Muslimahs (female Muslims), especially in a society in which Muslims are a minority, is immensely strong. You could be in Rome, stared at in the streets and feeling alone and awkward – but when a stranger in hijab comes up to greet you, you feel an instant bond of sisterhood, no matter which part of the world she is from. This sense of ummah (community) inspired me.

Further, in this age of confusion and confrontation, blind stereotyping and blatant Islamophobia can be catalysts to an increased awareness of one’s identity as a Muslim. The more your belief is ostracized, the more you will soul-search, and chances are that you will come out a stronger believer. No wonder that more and more Muslim women, all over the world, are choosing to cover themselves to affirm their religious identity.

The after-effects of this huge change in life are many fold. One fine morning you put on hijab for the very first time. You almost feel a spiritual serenity. This is the calm after the storm of so many years of tug-of-war with your own self. You are happy to start your journey afresh on the right path, but in no time you will realize that this journey is not meant to be easy. Facing the people you know, with hijab on for the very first time, can be quite disconcerting. You have to be strong to take the stares and the remarks which will come in many shapes and forms. Some will be encouraging, some patronizing, others belittling and almost condemning – and these are only from the people who know you. Then there are people in the streets, at bus stops, train stations and the shops, who do not know you but make a point of staring at you and judging you on the basis of what you are wearing. Rest assured, this is the baggage you will have to carry and endure for the rest of your new journey.

Some people will look down upon you because, in their view, you have chosen to be ‘enslaved’ by a religious scripture. It is no use arguing with them that, in our minds, there is not even a comparison between being the slave of our Creator and being a ‘fashion slave’ or an ‘individualist’ humbug. There are others who will feel pity for you because when they look at your face surrounded by hijab, they see the sure sign of an oppressed soul. In their minds, the only scenario they can come up with is that your parents, your husband or your in-laws have ‘made’ you wear this piece of cloth against your will. They think this as if a woman with a hijab – or a niqab (face veil) for that matter – is some sort of subhuman who cannot think and act for herself! This is simply dehumanizing beyond measure. What we have to face with regards to hijab (or niqab) is nothing but stereotyping stemming from sheer ignorance and prejudice.

I have met people who like to remain politically correct and therefore abstain from criticizing hijab, but many of them cannot hide their condescending tones when they remark “you must be feeling very hot in that,” or “that (hijab) must be very uncomfortable in this climate.” They do not seem bothered about any other kind of attire or accessories that might be uncomfortable because of their shapes, materials, tightness or designs, like pointed stiletto heels or body-hugging blouses or jeans. All their concerns are concentrated on Islamic clothing! For these ‘well-meaning’ gentlemen and ladies, my answer is straightforward. Yes, we do feel hot in hot weather with these extra pieces of cloth over our bodies – but we could do without your pity, because we have chosen this for ourselves for the sake of Allah (swt). Physical comfort is not the priority here, mental comfort is. Hijab makes us feel pure, protected and dignified. By sacrificing many earthly attractions in order to please Allah (swt), we feel a certain sort of contentment that adds to our confidence and empowers us to face the hostile world boldly. Hijab is not a tool for dominance of men over women, it is an embodiment of modesty borne out of religious conviction.

As one of the leading scholars in this field, he advocates that we learn more about Islam’s rich history of female scholarship and the role women played in preserving and collecting sacred Islamic knowledge, and strive to provide women with opportunities and spaces to learn and teach in our communities.