sometimes, someone is so stubborn that in Allah’s mercy He has to wound them before they would pay attention and learn (… me….). it hurts to be taken down a few pegs, it hurts when you haven’t resolved your issues like insecurity and doubt. it doesn’t mean everyone has to learn this way, or that the person will always only ever learn by pain. (at least i sure hope not). or that the purpose of all pain is to teach.

i understand what is described in the first verse. when it does have to happen, though, you do have to screw up the courage to see past the pain, that instead of reacting with running or hiding or walling yourself away or despair, you accept it, reflect on it, and understand it. part of growing up is developing the ability to cope with pain and still retain the ability to restrain oneself and act in a way that is good and rational. the other two refrains are not incompatible with the first verse, in my mind.

When I read those lines – “don’t turn your head… keep looking at the bandage” I don’t see Rumi implying “growth can only happen through pain and difficulty”. Emphasis on the “only” – I don’t see him singling pain out as the only path to light.

I think a common refrain for a lot of folks is to say “Why?” “Why me?” “Why God?” when they experience pain – be it cancer or some other type of suffering or distress in life. Many turn away from the pain thinking that God has abandoned them in their state of pain (not everyone, but this is a common response to pain… think about when a mother loses a child to cancer – a difficult, difficult instance of suffering that can being “Iman-shaking”).

We can’t deny pain and suffering, and I think what Rumi is highlighting is a reactive response to suffering (not proactive encouragement of pain – which I think you are referring to).

Pain and suffering can bring you closer to Allah – note he doesn’t say it’s the only way. There are numerous paths to Allah (Al hamdulilah for all of them) – one is definitely through pain and suffering.

Glorification of this pain and seeking out pain is a proactive measure, whereas I think Rumi is referring to the more reactive (how do you deal with pain when it comes your way?).

Also, the second half of the poem “And don’t believe for a moment that you’re healing yourself” is reminding us that healing comes from Allah.

Could we think of pain, not just in the literal sense but also in the metaphysical sense? What about the pain of wanting to marry someone who refuses, or the pain of flunking a test, or the pain of arguing with a spouse — these are also wounds.

There are also character wounds, characteristics in us that we would like to change – selfishness, being quick to anger… Conquering (or having “light” fill these wounds) is something we should seek out.

Each “painful” experience where a “wound” appears, be it interpersonal (arguing with a sibling) or intrapersonal (man, I just couldn’t stop eating all those donuts!), are moments we should seek out in order to ask for Allah’s guidance and “light” to make us better.

I get what you’re saying though — there does sometimes seem to be an overemphasis on pain and suffering as the more supreme paths to Allah – I think if only because often strong instances of pain and suffering usually have the most profound impact on the human soul – be it physical or metaphysical. How many stories have we heard of people converting to the faith after being at their “lowest”?

Thanks for the reminder that ease is also a means of growing closer to Allah. Being grateful and thankful in times of ease I think is one of those matters of the faith we all need to be reminded of.