Salaam Farzana

That all depends on you, them and the family boundaries.

The general rule of thumb is not to be alone with them, period. This opens the door for satan and is unacceptable under all circumstances.

However you can get to know one another in group settings/group dating (going out with an MSA for example and getting to know one another) Meeting in public with a friend or two accommodating you. It depends on your cultural norms. My suggestions are as an American.

Phone and messaging are used often but should be used wisely. Bottom line one must have common sense and taqwa of God. Usually when things get messy, it is when the individuals dishonor sacred values and lack common sense.

How long also depends on both of you and the quality of interactions.Praying istakhara is a helpful ritual to make such conclusions.

Allah knows best-

Assalammualaikum…

First of all, we have to understand why our prophet Rasulullah Salallahu Alaihi Wassalam asked us to marry for her religion first. Then for her nasab and then her wealth and then her beauty. If we want to dispute how religious is religious, we can also dispute how beautiful is beautiful. It is all very subjective, but why religion first?

Because, marriage is not the ending of your sufferings as a single. Marriage is not to answer your never ending desire for romance. Marriage is not the answer for finding long lost relationship or frenship of two families. No.

Indeed, marriage is just a beginning of new EXAM sheets. It is about life full of trials and tests and challenges. That is why marriage is to complete half of your deen. Because through marriage you will be tested far more greater challenges then when you are alone. You will have to care for another human being, who eats who sleeps, who farts, who dirty your toilets, who shares your bed, who leaves dirty laundry on the floor, who gets sick and who is the mirror for you. And her or his character may well be the core subject for you to excell in this test.

That is why our prophet told us to look for one with religion so that he or she knows very well you are a test for her or for him. And when they have religion, their faith in Allah in their prayers, their dua, their studies of hadith, their knowledge of seerah, their zikir, their salawat, their wisdom in making decisions and their patience in handling crisis, anger, frustrations… Will be the anchor to keep the marriage to last.

Havent you heard? A girl can be of a knockout beauty, but still be ugly when her akhlaq is ugly. A girl can be mediocre, not so pretty, but win smiles and melt hearts with her beautiful akhlaq. How can one get beautiful akhlaq? Religion.

Wallahualam.

Thank you sister for your feedback.