May Allah send His Mercy, Blessings and Protection on you. Ameen

I grew up in Saudi Arabia as a Pakistani expatriate and maybe it’s the bliss of childhood I remember but I remember a generally positive message about Allâh and about Islam in general that was more integrated with what I see now as a modern and better grounded understanding of deen that didn’t turn it into a neat category isolated from everything else. In my later teens I moved back to Pakistan and what I found here was a totally different attitude- the structure of the religion was the same but the element of rigidity was much stronger. I went through a spiritual crisis later and stopped believing entirely for a couple of years, but then Allâh by His Perfect Grace brought me back to Islam. Since then I’ve been learning everything anew and most of it is shaped by the environment around me, and by and large I find myself scared a lot of the time. It’s like there’s two conflicting aspects of my personality- one’s almost childlike and clings strongly to the Mercy and Love of Allâh, calling upon Him, praying, hoping- and the other is full of dread of Him and is strengthened by the particularly ascetic form of Islam I’m exposed to here and where I get all my living knowledge from. The ideal is the pious saint, devoted entirely to Allâh and not even remotely clouded by his nafs and who is ready to die for Him, to give up everything for Him any moment, who is free of all the imperfections of the heart that is now for Allâh Alone.

I find myself tired a lot of the time and confused, and I’m often displeased with myself, and indeed I’ve internalized the idea that it is only by being displeased with oneself and constantly worrying about the hereafter and about the Judgement that one can please Allâh. In my core this idea suffocates me and something in me says it can’t be like that, not when I know Allâh’s Beautiful Mercy to be Truth, but I can’t seem to find a way to integrate these two aspects of me. And when I rely on Allâh’s Mercy, sooner or later I find I have to make myself afraid of Him again.

So when I come here and read these articles that haromonise with what I feel intuitively, I feel a real wave of relaxation, and yet a sort of suspicion lingers. I guess it’s just something that I have to work on consistently and hope in Allâh all I can and seek forgiveness for what clouds my heart. May Allâh Help all of us abundantly and make all difficult things easy. Ameen.

Thank you greatly for these beautiful pieces, not just you, sister Jinan, but the entire staff for this website. It is a refuge for me when I feel most clouded. May Allâh Provide you all with the best of everything and Bless you all with great tawfiq to continue the wonderful work you all do, masha’Allâh. Ameen.

Jazaki Allahu Khayran for your response, Sister Jinan! It was very clear and helpful1!

W alaikm isalam w rahmat Allah,

Thanks for your question. I am not sure if the scholars discussed it specifically within the realm of ‘false hope’.

Personally, I wouldn’t phrase it in that way because we are implying that Allah is ‘tricking’ us. Rather, our knowledge of Allah’s attributes is that He is the most wise, He is the Most Merciful and that He responds. So He give us what we truly need in the best way possible. Our feeling that He may give us what we ask for as a way of displaying patience before removing the need for it in our hearts is not false hope. Rather it is Allah gently guiding us from a certain path we had wanted to take to another one. Our perception that He would give it (that specific thing) to us is simply our own perception.

We are told that when we pray for something three things happen: It is answered, it is deferred or it prevents a calamity from hitting us. So those are the promises from Allah. And if our hope lies in them, then we will not be disappointed.

So we are perhaps saying the same thing, except phrasing it in a different way. I am concerned that saying Allah gives us ‘false hope’ can actually push people into greater depression (or worse) if they feel ‘tricked’. Moreover, depression (not simply sadness) is a medical illness. While soundness of understanding and closeness to Allah can help tremendously, there are people who suffer from depression who cannot explain why they feel the way they do. Their understanding of Allah may be sound, and they may be pious and close to Him, but they are still depressed. There are often other deeper issues that also need to be dealt with.

Jinan

As Salamu Alaikum Sister Jinan,

I would like to take on Br. Ali’s question about false hopes, but from a different point of view.

I guess my question is whether Allah does give us ‘false hopes’ at times, because this is what is good for us at that moment.

The scenario would be as follows:

Ie, we want something so badly, perhaps more than is good for us. Allah would give us ‘false hope’ that we will get it eventually, so we don’t do something destructive, like fall into a deep depression, or suicide, astaghfirullah.

Meanwhile, He would be strengthening our iman, so, one day, we find we don’t need that thing so much anymore. Then, Allah takes the hope away.

Thus, the ‘false hope’ would be a mercy from Allah while He is strengthening us.

Do you know if such a scenario has been discussed by the scholars, and if so, what their conclusions are?

Salaam Ali,

Thank you for your clarification. I dealt with the issue of calamities in these two articles:

http://www.virtualmosque.com/relationships/withthedivine/why-am-i-tested/

and

http://www.virtualmosque.com/relationships/withthedivine/will-you-turn-away/

I hope they can be of assistance 🙂

Jinan

My Allusion to Tantalus was meant as an analogy, not to imply that Allah had anything to do with him, or even to imply that Tantalus existed. I never questioned a belief in god, but a belief in the benevolence of God. If we are to find any solace through the Quran and its teachings, then wouldn’t it be a good idea to substantiate that first?
Perhaps this question may have been better put in an article about the problem of evil, but I think that it is quite relevant here.