Assalamualaikum,
Hello sister. I am from Malaysia too. I read your comment from 2014. I am writing to ask how you are. And I extend my friendship for the sake of Allah. We are never alone as long as Allah is with us.

I am truly sorry . I realized that I am one of them who are not doing my part and leaving the responsibility to others assuming that there is enough support when in fact, the new Muslim has absolutely no one to support.

No matter how long we have been a Muslim, we have our ups and downs in our iman. Never get discouraged when we are feeling our iman at its lowest.

I am going for my Umrah this December, I will ask Allah for peace and faith in this world and in the hereafter for you and your family Paul. Pray for me too .

Assalamualaikum.

However, the reality of life is that some people who are left all alone simply “fail the test.” Are they just to be casually written off? I seem to recall a hadith, “None of you believes until he wants for his brother what he wants for himself.” (Going from memory.)

If the dropout (literally, apostasy) rate for converts especially, in the western countries at least, is so appallingly high, it seems to me that a lot of new Muslims are not receiving from their brothers and sisters what some of those brothers and sisters might take for granted in their own communities, i.e., fellowship and support. I have a hard time with the idea that it is “all the converts’ fault” because they just are not strong enough or do not try hard enough.

Assalamualaikum

I am still weak although I pray 5 times a day, fast in the month of Ramadan, never once had the temptation of drinking alcohol and run away from zina.

Sometimes I tend to get tired, lose hope and feels as if my du’a is not accepted. This battle is extremely frustrating . I feel as though Satan is whispering negative thoughts in my head. Then I remember ..as recorded in Buhari and Muslim: The Prophet SAW said:
“Whoever Allah wants good for him, he puts them to test. He puts them through difficulties. Like a diamond or some metal that has to be burnt and then that which is bad form it is removed so that you have that which is the pure diamond or pure gold or whatever. Put them to test, trials and difficulties.”

Be strong Paul.

Wa alaikumus salaam (and peace be unto you). Thank you for your kind words. It is very sad that there is so much sickness in the Muslim ummah today that so many(!) Muslims, “born” and convert, fall away, and I say this as a convert (many years ago) who has for almost all practical intents and purposes fallen away. I have tried to make contact with groups here in my own continent (USA and Canada) who supposedly deal with converts or potential converts, and yet again and again I have been disappointed.

I am not a scholar, but I seem to recall from my reading that there is a hadith (I don’t know whether it is sahih or not) that before the Hour there will be little left of Islam but the name (going from a possibly faulty memory here). There will be many of those who call themselves Muslims but little true Islam.

Yes, many of us who thought we came to Islam as mature adults have been left all alone to flounder, and yes, some of us in our isolation have not “made it,” to so speak. Some of us barely hang on by the slightest thread, frankly admitting that we do not really live according to Shariah, almost hoping forlornly almost beyond hope that sometime, somewhere, somehow maybe somebody will pay attention.

And may Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala have mercy on us all.

Yes ,its sad. It’s happening in my country Malaysia. Many are turning away from Islam.
May Allah bestow his blessing to you.

Wa alaikumus salaam. I apologize that I am tardy in responding.

You wrote, “I am especially to interested to hear this because of your words – “And Allah (swt) knows best.”, juxtaposed with “[I] no longer practice Islam”. To truly believe the former statement, one must indeed falsify the latter. The best Muslims are those who truly believe – the Mu’min.”

I must respectfully disagree, in this regard. There are those who in the abstract can acknowledge this or that, but in the reality and practice of their everyday lives as real, flesh and blood human beings, the matters are otherwise. There are individuals who are weak, sick, hurting, troubled, all alone (due to the dislocations in the Muslim community in some places), and sometimes even elderly.

It is all very fine and nice to say that “The best Muslims are those who truly believe – the Mu’min,” but this does not take into account real human weakness. There are those who fall down and who are too weak to get up, because they have no one to help them up. This can especially be true of converts who were weak and shaky in their faith to begin with, totally and absolutely sincere and honest but just barely “there” from the beginning. Yes, there are people who sincerely and honestly profess themselves Muslims but who were shaky from the start.

Not everyone is strong in faith, especially some converts in the beginning. Not everyone is a spiritual hero(ine). The blunt fact is that there are weak and hurting people in this world, who may acknowledge truths but who are too weak to carry them out in their own lives without the support of a loving, caring community.

And, yes, Allah (swt) knows best, even if I do not.

As-salaamu ‘alaykum Paul,

I am from North America, so cannot comment on the revert apostasy rate, or what the general population over there think about it/are doing about it.

However, I’m interested to know why/how Islam and the practices of some of its adherents are tied up in your approach to the religion.

As a point of entry for your reply, I always think about articles such as http://www.virtualmosque.com/relationships/withthedivine/will-you-turn-away/

They tend to remind me of how we get caught up in the actions/thoughts/feelings, “doings”, in a word, of others when it comes to, well, most anything in life, but more pertinently and specifically, our spirituality and religion.

I am especially to interested to hear this because of your words – “And Allah (swt) knows best.”, juxtaposed with “[I] no longer practice Islam”. To truly believe the former statement, one must indeed falsify the latter. The best Muslims are those who truly believe – the Mu’min.

Please note that my comment is in no way a vindication of the way Muslims have treated you, nor is it meant to trivialize your experiences. I think all of us here can agree that da’wah, and more importantly how to go about, is something which is not well understood. And this is by people who are _not_ apathetic about it.

Wa alaikumus salaam. Thank you for your reply. However, as I have made clear in various responses on Suhaib Webb’s site, I am one of those many, many, many western converts who have mostly fallen away from Islam. Estimates run from half to three-quarters (literally) apostasy rate among western converts.

Situations and places differ, of course, but my personal experience with the Muslim community — and I am not alone!! — was so bad that when I began to run into problems many years ago, I had no one in the Muslim community to turn to that I felt comfortable with, so I just drifted away from frustration and, to be honest, no longer practice Islam (I still have a few nebulous contacts). I suspect that most apostate converts never show their faces in a forum like this. They just disappear. Probably I am one of the few who still appear from time to time.

Do Muslims in North America not know how bad the convert dropout rate is? Do they not care? There are those of us who would dearly (almost desperately) like to be part of a believing, worshiping, brotherly community, but because of our sad experiences and the personal problems we have had without real support, we drift away.