˹He is the One˺ Who created death and life in order to test which of you is best in deeds. And He is the Almighty, All-Forgiving.

But in many places in the quran it says that hell is filled with men and jinn together, i think in more places in the quran it says that hell is full of men, and complementary if it is full of men it would also be full of women, I don think it is stating that more women than men will be in hell, that is our conclusion solely due to our own preconceived notions.

secondly there are many different kinds of intelligence.
also many places in the quran it says mankind knows very little about anything to begin with so no one should read this hadith and believe themselves to be superior in intellect than women if humans in general know next to nothing .

As Salamu Alaikum,

I think there are several issues here:

1, as KristinaMuslima says, what does the actual evidence say? Is it really all that clear, especially today, that men do have ‘greater intellect’ and ‘men follow deen more?’

2. Its also important to define at the outset exactly what these terms mean. How do we define ‘intellect’ and ‘following deen?’ ie, certain studies suggest that men may have better mathematical ability while women have better language ability. Is it fair to just limit ‘intellect’ to mathematical ability? Similarly, is ‘following Deen’ simply following the five pillars, or is it a holistic submission to Allah? If following Deen is simply following the five pillars, it can be argued that women here are at a disadvantage, as women are not able to pray, fast, etc, during menses. But is this the best way to define ‘following deen?’

3. If men have more intellect and follow the Deen more, and women less, is it due to innate ability or due to issues of access? Men historically have had much more access to education, both of the Deen and in secular subjects. Thus, it would not at all be surprising that historically, they have had more ‘intellect’ and ‘followed the Deen more’.

Often, issues with access are downplayed, leading to an assumption that men are just innately superior to women.

4. An issue I note repeatedly with Muslim discourse on gender is that men’s strengths are highlighted, and women’s weaknesses are highlighted, but not much is said regarding men’s weaknesses and women’s strengths.

Again, such reasoning leads to the assumption that men are innately superior in all ways to women.

Modern studies of course do not support this view at all, however:

How about highlighting: men’s greater aggression and criminality, lack of self control and risk taking, addictive behavior?

How about highlighting: women’s greater attention to detail, language ability, intuition, ability to collaborate and compromise?

Anyway, just some ‘food for thought’ (I’m typing this during Ramadan!) and of course Allah knows best :)!

of fair enough most men are more stronger than women – but please provide proof that men are smarter and more into their deen. This is childish talk.

As a sister, I feel I am on a spiritual journey regarding these hadiths, and gender issues in Islam in general. I must say that they have historically been a huge stumbling block for me with regards to faith.

Stage 1: Every time I read these hadiths, I would get completely angry and hate the faith, and be angry with My Creator (astaghfirullah, now I want to cry thinking of those days :(…)

I would read Shayk Google and QA sites and never found anything find anything that addressed the issues properly.

Stage 2 (concurrent with stage 1 and somewhat with stage 3, where i am now): I learned about hadith sciences and have pretty much concluded that the most of the hadiths were most likely not fabricated. This is because when deciding on the validity of a hadith, my understanding is that scholars for the most part dont look at the text (matn) as much as the actual chain of narration (isnad). If the chain of narration is authentic, the hadith is pretty much considered authentic.

This made me question why Allah has made us women the way we are. Are we really so deficient and stupid and evil, as compared to men? What about the evils committed by men on women? (as mentioned by several commentators here?) What about the deficiencies of men as compared to women (which seem so obvious to me, but never seem to show up anywhere in Islamic discussions?)

Sister Tricia states my thoughts well: “I do not find a similar number of ahadith singling out men for their faults. Where they do exist, they are usually explained as applying to mankind in general, not only men.”

The hadith regarding men and treatment of women seem much gentler: The best of men are best with their wives. “How does one of you beat his wife as he beats the stallion camel and then embrace her?” Anyone who raises 2 or 3 daughters will go to Jannah. Jannah is under the feet of mothers.

Of course, the above are not comprehensive, but in general, hadith regarding men relating to women never seem to denigrate men’s characteristics as compared to women, and generally dont link male disobedience or bad behavior with women with hellfire.

Anyway, my view of the sexes has historically been very distorted because of all of this – I couldn’t help but look at women and men with damaged eyes, feeling anger and hate for one sex and at one time, and the other sex at the other time.

Stage 3: I literally tore myself away from reading about gender and Islam, and about these hadiths, for awhile. It was the only way I could move forward spiritually, as well as open my heart towards both men and women and become (I hope) a much better person.

I have now come forward to the realization, after many struggles and mishaps, that Allah knows everything and I know nothing. There must be reasons well beyond my understanding for all of this. Its my jihad to struggle with gender related issues until Allah either increases my understanding or I die, after which Insha Allah, everything will be made clear.

As Sister Shazia advices, I try to take the good of the hadith, but then mentally set aside the rest before I begin to get worked up. Ie, if I get married, I resolve to be grateful to my husband. I donate regularly to Islamic causes, and Insha Allah Allah will give me the ability to do more.

On calmer moments, I try to think of the hows and whys Allah created men and women the way we are; why these hadiths have come down the way they have, etc. I have some thoughts but these are only thoughts and are not backed by anything, so will not share.

Finally, just an exhortation: Sister Shazia, its been nearly three years, if you or anyone can write a series of articles expounding on some of these hadiths, I think it would be tremendously useful for the rest of us struggling with these issues!

While I agree that it would be best to sit and discuss in person with a knowledgable scholar, and not just read Shayk Google and QA websites, or even articles and comments on SuhaibWebb.com, I suspect many of us are like me – we do not know where to turn :(…Most of us do not have access to scholars who have the requisite knowledge, the required sensitivity, as well as cultural understanding to address such issues appropriately.

I must admit I have not tried to reach out in person, but I have not really run into anyone Imam or scholar who I feel can address such issues appropriately. One can tell by attending a few Juma Khutbas how an imam would deal with such issues :(…

Anyway, May Allah forgive me all my faults and increase me in understanding of Deen and make my jihad easy for me. Make He englighten all of us struggling with this issue.

I have read some of this context as well.

Mustapha.

“If we are able to find fault in everything, but hold ourselves above fault, then we need to think about why that is and how that may be affecting our understanding of our religion.”

Sr. Shazia, it has been about 2 years since you wrote this article…I do not know if you were ever able to provide the follow-up on some of the individual ahadith mentioned. I may have missed it?

In regard to your above statement, I think you are making a leap here. We have gone from finding fault (indeed) with numerous ahadith that portray women negatively, to you’re saying we find fault in ‘everything,’ and not only that we ‘find ourselves above fault.’

To be clear, we do not find fault with ‘everything’ nor do we hold ourselves beyond reproach. It has been hinted that perhaps some of us have been consulting Shaykh Google, however my sense is that those who consult Shaykh Google would not be on virtualmosque.com!

Furthermore, I am disappointed that there has been a bit of character assassination of Dr Abou ElFadl here along with baseless accusations that he is Shia. Dr Abou El Fadl studied with usuli scholars in various countries before most of us were even born. He copiously cites texts and proofs that make most of the works of other American scholars pale in comparison…none of which were refuted or even mentioned here. In my view, he has made the most sincere and studious effort to address the widespread spiritual discomfort on the part of women AND men with these ahadith that single out women. May Allah reward him for his efforts. Please consider deeply his concept of the ‘conscientious pause.’ May Allah guide us all.