Firstly what a great article! Definitely one needed! And Sister Kawthar I can understand that feeling – you feel soo condescended and small, that no matter what you do for these sorts of people, they’re going to belittle you in subtle ways or quite overtly.

When I was in my late teens, I was fascinated to do martial arts, and I thought best thing to do is to go to a Muslim martial artist. So off I went thinking things will be smooth and exciting. I reach there, and he has 2 students with him. One of his students told me he did jihad in Bosnia…I thought nothing of that and said “cool”. When he started speaking to me, he told me his style of martial arts is Mongolian-based. He said “To enhance our bone density we could either condition our bodies to make them rigid and tough (by kicking against a hard bamboo tree for example) but obviously that will take ages and years, OR we could take (and hear this) a serum of elephant’s testicles and apply it on our skin, and the cost of that will be £30,000”. I felt uneasy by what he said, for one thing the price was a bit too expensive if you ask me, and secondly I didn’t want to apply semen of an elephant onto me (just in case it attracted a female elephant from afar!). So I left, and being a muslim I called him up and kindly declined to become a member of his club (can’t understand how those other students managed to fork up that amount of cash!). He immediately started insulting me! Then he said “Its because of people like you that the ummah is weak!…your family are shaitaans!” then he had the audacity to read verses from the Quran and belittle me! I was soo furious that I wanted to swear at him, but he put the phone down on me! Appearance-wise the guy had a beard and wore the Islamic cap. I was soo upset by this guy’s reaction. Interestingly I did end up doing martial arts but in a non-muslim’s club, and you know what he acted much more better and with respect to me, than that foolish brother who insulted me!

Now onto something else, we might have brothers and sisters getting a bit too self righteous to those who don’t have beards or wear hijabs etc etc. but there is a flip-side to that – where, brothers and sisters who don’t have beards, hijabs etc etc, looking down on those with beards, hijabs etc…assuming these people have become extremists or become too self-righteous in the process. So it is safe to say one party could be reacting just the same way as the other. If that is so, then certainly Iblis is performing well because he not only focuses on our weaknesses but also on our strengths. Arrogance has no place in Islam and certainly shouldn’t be in us. We as an ummah have become disintegrated not due to non-muslims kicking our backsides but because we judge each other harshly.

It is about time we stop that!

Maybe so, but whether they lose their ego and change, or not, shouldn’t be the focus or excessive concern of someone who is religious for God’s sake. If you start to get angry or resentful, or contemptuous or have these kinds of strong emotions when someone does not change following your advice, EVEN IF that advice was correct, then *something* is wrong about your inner motivation. that’s what the article is saying. because correct motivation will not result in any of these emotions in such situations, but instead will result in emotions of hope, compassion, love, concern, worry-sadness, just like the Prophet experienced for his people.

To the point.. Two of my friends in this program have very recently begun on an “islamic betterment’ program.Which is supposed to be good. But I feel like lately they’ve become more judgmental..especially the older one-one of them even told me that I HAD TO,HAD TO get married whether I liked it or not,I got so mad I went home,my mom interrogated me,I had to cry and she called the teacher.Both of them,especially the younger one who turned 13 about a month ago,are obsessed with marriage and want to get married at the age of 19.Both think that going to college and high school,rather than this program,is very very wrong.The older one… my relationship is becoming more and more strained with her every day, she thinks to laugh is wrong but smiling is sunna,and so gives me see-through smiles and tries to help me with my bags, and when she hears the new ten year old recruits laughing or something she goes and tells them to “do something beneficial.” Both girls have been getting on my nerves lately but I keep my mouth shut in order to avoid World War III, both get so worked up when you disagre with them and attack you with sayings of our pious predecessors and ahadith till you have no choice but to agree. I feel that ever since they’ve gone on this whole islamic betterment thing,MY Islam has paid the price,and MY iman has been going down.

In short. I just needed to vent,but at the same time I can’t backbite…I love,love,this article,I need it too cuz lately my mom thinks I am getting more arrogant-but it’s going to be a huge source of relief to me in the months to come,at least till I go to highschool.

And that’s that..Sorry folks..Move on with life! Nothing to see here! Salam WRWB and JAK!

Assalaamu alaykum warahmatullah wa barakaatuh,

just read this wonderful article a couple of mins. ago and was surprised to find this comment on the meaning of “Assam” . According to the classical arabic lexicon the meaning of as-Saam is infact death.

معنى السام في قاموس المعاني. قاموس عربي عربي

السَّامُّ – سَامُّ:
السَّامُّ : كلُّ ذي سُمَّ كالثعبان . والجمع : سَوَامُّ .
وسامُّ أَبْرَصَ : ضربٌ من الوَزَغِ .
وتقول : سوامَّ ، دون أَبرص ، أَو بِرَصَة وأَبارِص ، دون سوامّ .
45 .
المعجم: المعجم الوسيط –
السَّامُ – سَامُ:
السَّامُ : الموتُ .
و السَّامُ الذَّهَبُ .
و السَّامُ عروقُ الذهب والفضة في الحجر والمعدِن .
و السَّامُ السبيكة من الذهب والفضَّةِ .
و السَّامُ .
الخيزرانُ .
واحدته : سَامَةٌ .
المعجم: المعجم الوسيط –
السّام :
الموت .
المعجم: عربي عامة –
اللّبْلاب السّامّ :
( نت ) نبات ذو أوراق مركّبة وأزهار خضراء صغيرة وثمار بيضاء ، يسبِّب طفحًا جلديًّا عند لمسه .
المعجم: عربي عامة –
والسَّامَّةُ الموتُ، نادر، والمعروف السَّامُ، بتخفيف الميم بلا هاء.
وفي حديث عُمير بن أَفْصَى: تُورِدُه السَّامَّةَ أَي الموت، قال: والصحيح في الموت أَنه السَّامُ، بتخفيف الميم.
وفي حديث عائشة، رضي الله عنها: قالت لليهود عليكم السَّامُ والدَّامُ
Hope this clears the issue.
req. your Duas