SalamuAlaikum Angela.
There will be a time that you would realise that the “seemingly negative” feelings that you describe were actually very pleasant ones. InshaAllah..
If you are lucky enough to find a way of life you love, you have to find the courage to live it.

Have you not heard the most famous love stories, romeo and Juliet, Joseph and Zuleika etc… They are all stories of lovers struggling for their love. If you love Allah you will struggle, you will lose (dunya) worthless worldly little and short lived fuss and buzz ie of night club and pub life. Where it is all physical and nothing spiritual.
You win your Love (Allah) when your heart feel completely content, assured and satisfied with whatever the pain, struggle and loss you go thro for Allah and The Way of Life He has prescribed for you.
I mean the pain and struggle you naturally feel and those caused by others because of your faith. No self harm 😉 please.

I mean tafseer* not tasseled.

Wa’alaikum salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh, sister.
Welcome to Islam, and may Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala guide and protect you, give you a taste of the sweetness of Iman, and help you guard and protect said treasure and honor.
My advice is that you please not despair, and that you keep struggling and turn to Allah for guidance. Islam is the right path, and struggling towards good does not generally come easy. In shaa Allah it will be worth it. I advice that you try and develop a strong relationship with the Qur’an, and make lots and lots of du’aa to Allah for assistance in any language you understand. Put your emotions into the du’aas and imagine that you are right in front of Allah (s.w.t) talking to Him. Try and listen to lectures and tafseer of Qur’an that could assist in strengthening your beliefs in Allah and Islam. I recommend subscribing to Bayyinah Tv online, and watching the entire Qur’an for Young Adults series (I am not paid to promote this, but I have personally benefitted immensely from it. Alhamdulillah). It is a very educative and motivational series. If you want to but may not be able to afford the monthly subscriptions (it is $11/mo), please respond to this and we can communicate through email to see how I could find someone to help, in shaa Allah. The TV has Very good Islamic lectures, tasseled of the entire Qur’an, etc. It is a great resource, maa shaa Allah.
Also, if you can download the Muslim Pro app ( if you don’t already have it), there are great du’aa on it that should be helpful in shaa Allah. If you go on to the morning/evening supplications, there is one about seeking protection from anxiety and sorrow, weakness and inability/laziness, cowardice and miserliness, the burden of debt, etc. “Allahumma innee a’udhu bika minal hammi wal hazani, wal ‘ajzi wal kasali, wal buhli wal jubni, wa dala’i d-daini wa ‘alabati-rrijaal.” You should be able to find this and many other good supplications in shaa Allah.
I pray that Allah guides and protects you, and that He assists you on His path. Aameen. Please reach out if you need help to join Bayyinah TV.

Salam aleykum, MashAllah sister. I wish I could help you I just came back from Rome. feel free to email me whenever you like theresaalvarez@hotmail.com.It is a test, I felt like that too, I have been a revert for about 13 years now, I still struggle to fit in but the anxiety when you are praying and reading will shift. I found whenever I felt like I had to defend myself to family and explain myself all the time, or I would see things in the papers it would make me more anxious and feel negative, I would feel like I was bad like they were saying and I’d have to defend it. I try to avoid reading news and I don’t feel I have to explain myself to others.I still have anxiety in other situations, but remember don’t be afraid of the people, cry when you need to talk to Allah S.W.T he is near to you, especially when you are in sujood .It is nice to have muslim friends (to be honest, you could feel isolated with them too, if you come from a different culture) but this is where you gain strong faith,because you learning to rely on Allah alone, stay strong you can get through it.Have you been to the moschea di roma?Please know you always have a community in some way even if we can’t be together in person. Aleykum salam sister Angela

Long term its better to be in a different surrounding and everything is new. Nobody knows you and you can approach your life towards the direction you want to take it to. May Allah make it easy for you