Dear Alien brother – I agree with the other posters that you should not be forcing your sister. I chose to wear a scarf in North American society as for me it was liberating to not be constantly gawked at by men and it let people know by my outside that I am a spiritual/religious person by my inside. Had family or any other persons forced me I would have run away. Instead I face prejudice at times for this choice but I feel good because IT IS MY CHOICE. Still I adapt the clothes to be less conspicuous in the culture. The mother is this story holding a rod to beat her daughter and telling the classmates to spy on the daughter is a little disgusting to me. As brother Ahmed replied (re: wearing his kufi and thobe) – the situation for sisters being expected to be “Arabized” at all times in other societies puts ridiculous pressures on them that becomes like a “prison”. Let your sister be and let her breathe. Those who are pulling people to Islam are the ones showing a positive and welcoming behaviour, not those always thumping on others on what they should do and not do. It always amazes me that while our prophet was soft and kind to peoples as he drew them to Islam – modern Muslims want to “beat” Islam into those around them, and usually this ends up being women and children. Let us stop setting the bad example the Westerns assume about us and start being more like the prophet. Allah bless you and your family, and your sister.

that’s because you started with pressuring her on hijab. whereas it is just one thing out of many things in the Qur’an, and only a fruit of the tree and not the branch let alone the trunk or the root. this is the problem with most Muslim families when facing this challenge regarding their children.

why not let it go, go to the branch. if the branch is not there either, then go to the trunk. if the trunk is not there either, then go to the root, if the root is not there either, then PLANT THE SEED of faith. when the seed is planted insya Allah the roots and the trunk and the branch and the leaves and the fruit will follow. she will herself ask God for guidance and eventually the tree will grow. this is the meaning of no compulsion in religion, and how it does not contradict a parent’s responsibility to bring up a child, nor does it contradict the person’s personal responsibility for their own souls such that even the parents must let go just as Prophet Noah had to let go (though insya Allah it does not come to that). you will NOT be held accountable if your child disobeys Allah if the child chooses to as an adult; this is totally not Qur’anic as you do not bear the sins of others. you *will* be held accountable if you had not raised the child with the right knowledge and tools to develop a strong faith for themselves – because this is regarding discharge of responsibility.

the problem is that human beings are IMPATIENT just as God says in the Qur’an. we don’t want to wait for the seed sprout and grow. we are upset and discontented because we think the tree should be big and healthy by now so that we can relax. we would rather install a plastic tree with plastic leaves and force the person to stick a fake fruit on the fake branch. please don’t let your impatience help further impede your sister’s way to return to God.

the way to God is heavily infused with patience, hope and love. even the fear really should be a consequence of the patience, hope and love. if you yourself do not display patience, hope and love, how do you expect the student to understand this path? alhamdulillah my parents were patient, hopeful and loving, and so i never went too far and my way back to my Rabb by His own hand has momentum and conviction. and today i myself have to muster enough faith to do the same for the sake of another.

@sophia, that’s for non believers. Our children are our responsibility and we will be held accountable if they disobey Allah (swt).

“There shall be no compulsion in religion”