Your choice makes your character. May Allah help you stay that way. Let me tell you, you have shown bravery and you won’t be let down.
I am impressed. I can imagine what you must have gone through emotionally. Reward is indeed your way eventually. Indeed all the tests from Allah ends up as blessings.
We get closer to Him.

– Azhar

May Allah bless you with a wonderful and fulfilling job with good earnings soon, Sabri. Ameen.

Thank you so much and Jazak Allahu Khayran, RKhan. Your kind words and dua are so helpful during this difficult time.

Indeed, I feel like I am crawling in a dark tunnel – there is a light somewhere ahead, I don’t know exactly where it is and what it leads to, but I am trying to go towards the light, which I know is from the Noor of Allah.

waalaikumsalam dear sister,

Though we go through bad times in our life due to our own doings & Allah controls all that, just keep faith that whatever bad He allows to happen to us, at the end of it all , there is goodness for us – He will never let you drown in darkness. There is always, Alhamdullilah, light at the end of the dark tunnel & it is no ordinary light – it is the NOOR of Allah. I love you sister for the sake Allah & may Allah help you with courage & wisdom to deal with your situation for the sake of His pleasure – Ameeen

This story really, really hit home. I would like to share my experience, because it shows that what happened in this story can really happen to any of us.

(This is an edited version of my post in the article, ‘Battling Temptations Part II’, which I posted around October 2012).

I am a Muslima who is trying to practice her deen; I wear hijab, pray five times a day, spend about an hour reading/memorizing Quran each day, make dua, etc.

But Allah knows best what is in our hearts: and clearly my heart has not been pure. I have fallen for a non-Muslim co-worker who is completely not available and haram for me.

Alhamdhulillah, there has been no zina, and there is no question about leaving the Deen.

We both try our absolute best to have no contact. This is not always 100% successful in the work environment, and has been very trying – paradoxically, I love him even more because I know his feelings are similar yet he tries so hard to be respectful and do the right thing.

Never in my dreams did I imagine this would happen to me.

Unlike the Shayk, I made many mistakes. But the scary part is, just like the Shayk, I thought I was better than others. In my case, I smugly thought I was better than some relatives of mine, who were also struggling with illicit love. I recall we’d sit as a family gossiping about them.

Anyway, I am leaving the job in a few months, in no small part due to this situation. And Allah has so far in His tremendous mercy has kept all this secret.

Strangely, the way this story ends makes me hope that perhaps in the future, Allah will make this man halal for me, although that will require miracles.

But if not, I trust that if we give up something for the sake of Allah, Allah will give us something better.

Please make dua for me.

And please, please don’t read this story as some abstract theory on Allah’s justice, or something that only happens to ‘other people.’

We have to always keep to the straight path and keep our hearts pure and humble.