your first few paragraphs reminded me of Musa (a) when his people said 26:61-62
(And when the two companies saw one another, the companions of Moses said, “Indeed, we are to be overtaken!”
[Moses] said, “No! Indeed, with me is my Lord; He will guide me.”)

As I read your article, I changed my mind about what type of person I want to be. I want to be the type that dusts themselves off and tries again. As many times as is necessary. Although innate personality plays a big role in who we are, I believe we choose our attitudes and perceptions to a greater extent than we think. The ability to do so falls under our free will. Not to exercise it is a loss and our own choice.

Green, you can change whatever you want about yourself. You said you hope you can become more optimistic. Hope is essential, but expecting it from yourself will expose more opportunities to reach your goal.

Have a clear vision of what you really need and what for.
Go for the best option.
If that doesn’t work it’s ok.
*Refrain* from accepting the very next offer out of desperation if it doesn’t fit the vision. Be cool. Never compromise the big picture.
Explore the next option that fits the vision even if it seems humbler than the immediate next offer.
Repeat (if necessary) until you find the one God has set aside for you.
Build on that one.

The vision part is crucial. It’s the only thing that will help you decide – and convince others – that it is better to turn down the ill-fitting but outwardly 2nd best “next best” offer. After all, which one is “second” depends on what you’re measuring as the most important criteria. Only vision can tell you the correct priority order of your criteria list.

not only that, there is nothing wrong with going and seeing a therapist/councellor to get help if you have issues or feel like you need more than just self-help, like outside help too. gotta remove the stigmas in our Ummah about these stuff.