Salam alaikum,

Truly sister you will be in my dua’s. Your article and other like it continue to fill me with hope.

Allah loves me? How I hope I can attain such success. And I wish I could have met you as well my dear sister. Keep up the beautiful articles and remember me in your dua’s as well.

May Allah increase your knowledge.

wa alaykum as salam warahmatullahi wa baratkuh,

subhan Allah; tears thinking about how much Allah must love you for your struggles, and yet you don’t even know what your status may truly be! :)i wish i could meet you to be close to someone who wants Allah so badly. please keep me in your duaa o striver to Allah!

salam.. just want to give you a big hug.. .. we all struggle sis 🙂 take care and may Allah make all things easy in our life after hardship.. wassalam

Mashallah sister, this article was very well written and incredibly relevant to the times we are living in. And big props to brother Suhaib Webb and virtualmosque.com for allowing the sisters to be active. We definitely need to hear and see more women becoming active in the Deen.

Subhannallah, if you are a convert or under the age of 30 than you most definitely experienced a situation such as mentioned above. It’s amazing, when people view you as being young or new to Islam they some how feel they have the duty to “correct” your Islam. All suggesstions are welcome, but man…you don’t gotta put me on blast in front of the whole masjid.

Honestly, I accepted Islam 8yrs ago, but I must admit that it wasn’t until recent that I became a Muslim. I’m not trying to air my “dirty laundry”, but I’m just being real. The Muslim Community really needs to understand the ramifications of their actions.

When I first became Muslim I was filled with so much excitement and anticipation. Unfortunately, the Muslim Community took that excitement and stomped on it:

“Oh sister, are you wearing pink? That is Haram!

“Sister, sister! You have no socks on. Your prayer is in invalid!”

“What, you don’t like dates? This is Haram, the Prophet use to love them. You cannot be from the people of Paradise if you do not like dates.”

I went from loving the masjid….to hating the masjid. I found it very difficult to befriend Muslims. I always felt judged and scrutinized. I began to resent Muslims and Islam all together. Slowly I began to feel that Islam was to heavy a burden and maybe I should just give it all up.

I would make attempts at “renewing” my faith. I would try and fill myself with knowledge…this knowledge led me to ask those so called “pious” Muslims some questions when I would hear them say things that were against the teachings of Islam….what they were teaching was not from Islam, but from their cultural influences. Subhannallah, when I would ask them for their proof than than I was automatically dismissed as being arrogant, a person of too many questions or just too American. And if your a sister….well, I could go on for days with that one.

One time, someone said to me at the end of our discussion….”Well, Islam don’t need you!” Hmmm, that may be true, but I need Islam. Although I know much better now, I must admit that at that time…..her words hit me like a ton of bricks. I lost hope; in myself and Allah.

Although I still considered myself Muslim; my actions said otherwise. There was always that voice though. I couldn’t escape it. It was always there serving as a reminder that who I had become; was not who I was meant to be. I felt Allah calling me all the time, but I felt that Hell was destined for me. Yet that voice always whispered, “come back to Allah, come back.”

It’s true when they say, “if Allah loves you than he will make people love you.” Well, this couldn’t be more true than of the sister that I would like to believe saved me.

Subhannallah, people loved her. ANd I just couldn’t figure out why. She was soft spoken, never overly social & kept to herself for the most part. Yet, her hugs were filled with sincereity. Her smiles filled with warmth. When she spoke, she spoke only with knowledge and kindness. Subhannallah, I found myself drawn to her. I wanted to sit next to her. Always rushed to pray beside her. I believe she felt my affection for her.

I’m not sure how, but I got her email address. So one day I wrote her all what I felt and that I was ready to give up. Subhanallah, you know what her reply was? She didn’t belittle, chastise or even judge me. She told me the fact that I even felt despair was a good thing. SHe said it meant that I still cared and that this despair was a reflection of my wanting to be close to Allah.

Can you imagine? My sorrow would be the very thing that would save me. My despair meant that I still cared and that I wasn’t hopeless. I began to weep with such an intensity that my voice became unrecognizable to me. For the first time in years I felt hope. Hope that Allah could maybe still forgive a lowly sinner such as myself.

I wish I could say that I was a God fearing; pious Muslim from that day on, but real life is not a fairy tale. My struggle back to Allah has been one filled with mishaps, pain and tears. Yet, this time is different because I have hope. I thank Allah everyday for this sister and her words of kindness and compassion. She has become a permenant fixture in my Dua. For I always ask Allah to Bless her.

Inshallah, people will learn that their words can either make or break a person. I just hope there words serve as a friendly reminder and not ones of damnation.

Sorry so long…..just felt real passionate about this one.

salam alaikum

As salamu alaykum,

Dear Tasfia,

I didn´t know that giving flowers as a present was a Christian act, certainly that surprises me.

Experience will teach you to breath deep and don´t let this kind of actions and behaviours affects you so much. You will see who is who, and first of all you will be sure of who you are.
If you alloud me an advice, forgive her and the others, talk to Allah(swt) about it.

Keep as soft and as sweet as your Heart is, alloud yourself to forgive and despite this kind of behaviours keep in the straight path, nobody has the power of shaking your faith. If you go to the important thing here, from the begining till the end, this is just the relationship between Allah(swt) and you.

Thank you for sharing and for listening.

Beslama

The other thing I want to say is that we all need to learn how to speak up for ourselves, particularly in situations like these. What’s to stop you from saying in an equally loud voice (or more softly, if you so choose) what your intentions actually are? Just like you are telling us now… I know its easy to lose your presence of mind upon feeling attacked or targeted…

This brings me to the others who witnessed the event – I’m sure some were aware of your intentions & symapthetic – I like bringing home/giving flowers to cheer myself or someone else up – then why didn’t anyone speak up? There’s a multitude of answers to that question, I guess my point is to tell people to speak up. If you do not want to make a statement, ask a question – “O, Aunty what has made you so upset?”. The same question could have been asked of Tasfia. Then perhaps some dialogue could ensue so the two “factions” could have expressed their point of view.

Superb article, thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

Thank you for this teaching and information, certainly there is always a step farther to go in learning Humility and softness of the Heart, …may Allah (swt) alloud us to follow Him in the Straight Path.

Good bless you Sister Maryam, I needed this article.

Beslama

Tashakkur…