Comments on: Reading the Red-Flags

By: Shikin

Shikin — Thu, 16 Jan 2014 05:29:31 +0000

Thank you so much for writing this helpful article. It helps me venture in to deep thinking of marrying my fiance. I don’t know why but I have mixture of feelings while reading this article – fear and anxiety. I have been together with my fiance for almost a year now and I’m already beginning to spot some red flags. I chose to not look at it as I used to believe that this issue is something that can be resolved before marriage however I am afraid at the same time if this issue continues to arise in the long run or even after marriage. I have to admit that this issue is something that makes me break down whenever I give it a thought about it.

By: Naheed

Naheed — Fri, 28 Sep 2012 04:28:13 +0000

In reply to yet another muslimah. Are u seeing the red flags urself or is ur potential spouse "helping" u to find them? Is he saying things which make u aware of faults u didn't think existed in u? In either case u need to be sure that u would like to spend the rest of ur life with him b4 u commit urself

By: yet another muslimah

yet another muslimah — Mon, 03 Sep 2012 23:44:06 +0000

Assalamu’alaykum,
I am in the process of getting to know a potential spouse, so this article is very useful. Nevertheless, I’m seeing the red flags in myself, instead of in the guy. Is it a sign that I’m not yet ready to commit myself to a relationship?

What do I do? The potential spouse seems to be the perfect one for me..Please advise.

By: Abdullah Munawar

Abdullah Munawar — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 14:34:53 +0000

Salaam dear brother, please do find some counsel in the fact that if anything happens it happens by the grace of Allah. Don’t be disheartened by your situation and I believe that Allah has the best for you. I know a number of rejections can be hard to deal with but see it as a way of being saved from ending up with the wrong person(and being saved by a lifetime of remorse).

Just the fact that somebody prays 5 times everyday does not guarantee anything in itself. It can be a big issue though. Please take heart in the fact that Allah has sent everybody with their Rizq and HE is the Most Merciful.

By: another muslimah

another muslimah — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 13:59:19 +0000

In reply to a Muslimah. Asalamualaikum. I know what you mean, since I too am like that (inconsistent), as consistent as I try to be. I guess what the article means by that sentence is that, if the partner deliberately breaks his/her promises. Or maybe he/she really didn't mean to, but when they apologize, they don't seem very sorry. I think sincerity makes all the difference.

By: R

Tue, 26 Apr 2011 10:34:30 +0000

I am a little confuse,getting to know about your spouse was that happening at the time of Prophet pease be upon him?
I as a parent feel every body has flaws,and each spouse should try their best to make their marriage successful.
New generation has adapt this westren culture where they want to spend time with each other,but still the divorse rate is too high.
Please someone explain?

By: Ali

Ali — Mon, 25 Apr 2011 19:42:33 +0000

Alhamdulilah, this is the exact reason why I separated from my wife after just 2 months of marriage. I ignored the red flags and chose to go forward with the marriage anyway out of fear of being alone or not finding the one.

By: Simpson

Simpson — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 19:25:16 +0000

Spot on article,
Kamran – I couldn’t have put it better myself, people don’t realise the harm in being over obedient and not taking responsibility for themselves.

By: muslim21

muslim21 — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 14:39:59 +0000

In reply to muslim21. and that the person aims to be perfect in thier manners. thats important

By: muslim21

muslim21 — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 14:38:58 +0000

In reply to a Muslimah.

good question here by ‘a Muslimah’.

For eg; do we write off a misdeed by a potential spouse (or more appropriately I should call it a sign of a ‘not flawless character’) as ‘we all make mistakes and aren’t perfect’? I know that I myself am not perfect although I aim to be,

I think that as long the potential spouse is honest with themselves and you and honestly, and not just cause they got put in a corner, admits these mistakes (which is a wonderful character trait) and moves toward improvement, then your looking at a great individual.

thoughts?