waw!!This is something for each one of us to ponder, reflect and introspect. ..
May the Almighty make it easy for you and all those who has been in a similar situation. .
someone said so beautifully
‘their isn’t enough time for love, i don’t know where people find time to hate ”.

My sad story: I met this man online and from day one we were great friends and one day I thought that this is not right, speaking to a man and the day I decided to tell him we should not be friends as this is not a part of Islam, he told me his feelings for me and I also felt the same but was too shy. My mistake was thinking that my parents would be accepting. Do not get me wrong, my parents have made unimaginable sacrifices for me. Alhamdullillaah with Allah’s protection and His guidance, I never went astray nor did I engage in haraam interactions with men. My parents, from what I thought, seemed broad minded but how wrong was I.

The day this man told me his feelings, I told my mother and she was caught by surprise. I told her how in love he is with Islam, how successful he is and how much he has accomplished in a short amount of time. My mother was over the moon that I found someone and when she asked where is he from? I told her he lives abroad, she did not mind this as she said being from another country is not an issue. She asked about his ethnicity and I said he is Indian, and my mother was disappointed but this was a stone reaction compared to the mountain of emotions and anger my father felt when I confronted him.

I have been honest with my parents about every aspect of my life. Not only did they teach me Islam, they shadowed me from narrow minded thinking that my relatives had. Little did I know, eventually my parents also thought like them. My father, at first, was listening to me carefully and I was happy that he was so interested. I even told him that this man is coming from abroad with his parents. That is when everything fell apart, my father told me that he would cut his beard (very long that he has been growing since he was 19) in shame if I married an Indian, he asked what people will think, what will they say, people have high respect for us, my mother said she would cut her hair (very long) short. And then came the phrase that broke my heart completely “we are not as broad minded as you think we are” all this the image I had of my parents as accepting people shattered. They told me about all the negative points of marrying an Indian and even told me about divorce and how any small dispute about me being Pakistani or him being Indian would end in divorce. How charming! My parents speaking about divorce when I am not even married and telling me how no one will marry a girl who is divorced.

I sat in silence listening to my parents tell me that I committed a sin by choosing an Indian man to marry. My father even refused to meet this man who came from abroad The day my father told me he would cut his beard and my mother told me she would cut her hair, and the day he told me that he will refuse to meet him, I made a vow that I will never express my like for another man, I will only marry the man they choose for me. The best part is, after hurting me like this and giving me these emotional threats, my parents told me “however, if you still want to marry him then it is your decision” hahahahahaa! what a joke! May Allah forgive me but I really did laugh inside, did my parents really think I would marry someone against their wishes after they gave me a speech? Do not get me wrong, I fought for this man, used all the Islam I could. Nothing worked.

I told this good Indian man everything and he said it does not matter, he will speak to my father and mother when he visits us with his parents. I told him there is no benefit in meeting and that we should not speak anymore, he agreed and told me that he has already decided the flights and dates they will arrive on and he will message me then and maybe till then my father would see how serious this man is.

I have not married this Indian man. I made istikhara and everything led me to him. I had four nightmares a few months later which were the same.

My nightmare… I was married for one year to a Pakistani man of my parents’ choice, he beat me, I suffered in silence and he even started drinking alcohol. I covered the bruises on my arms and back. The maid secretly informed my family about this. They came to my house and spoke about this. I laughed and said, it does not matter, he is Pakistani!! Pakistanis are perfect!! My parents were ashamed, I told them that twenty minutes before their arrival, their perfect Pakistani son-in-law divorced me. How do they feel now? That their daughter is divorced. This perfect Pakistani man hated me, painted a fake picture of perfection before marriage. I wore niqab at home and outside. He did not even touch me.My parents were hurt. I was too but I did not care. This man paid no attention to me, I spent that one year in prayer. The emotional damage that I was caused and I am still recovering from trauma from being abused. I asked my parents what people will think that their daughter is divorced? What will people say? Will these people have respect for us? I did not want to speak against my parents, I just served dinner in silence and they spoke mostly. My mother tried embracing me but I did not let her because of the bruises on my back, they were sore. May Allah forever bless this maid who somehow contact this Indian man and told him about my situation. He took a first flight and came to my parents house with his parents.Still willing to marry me even after being divorced.

I want to send a message to Pakistani and Indian parents;

There is no shame in marrying each other. As written, look at the man or woman’s deen before anything else. Forget what “people will say” because their mouths never stop running. Your relatives did not raise your child, do not make your child hate you or feel pain and anger just because you despise each other. Obedient children will suffer in silence because they do not want to displease Allah by displeasing you. Do not make these threats. End the hate between Indians and Pakistanis. Do not let it get to the point where your child is emotionally damaged. Your child is Allah’s servant and Allah’s child before yours.

JazakAllah khair! 🙂

I couldn’t agree more. It’s a beautiful thought!

Umm Muhammad: Wa alaikumus-salam, Actually, I did not feel too comfortable about this story although some good points were made. Too much emphasis on romance, which is not suggested in the Qur’anic version.
In addition, not all of the commentary should be taken as fact. We only accept as true what can be verified in the Qur’an & authentic hadith. And Allah knows best.