Your hoentsy is like a beacon

I don’t think the main point was whether the man had a right or not to tell his wife to end her studies. The point I think is that this issue would have probably been highlighted if the couple had premarital counselling. Then they would have both been able to discuss it openly then and shared their expectations…instead of having it be a situation where someone is exercising their right (yes I agree with that) at the expense of the happiness of his wife (and inevitably his marriage).

actually,they were always PURE as they were the PUREST of creations!
but i just meant that their showering was to go out from state of janaba.

Happy Anniversary Sir!
25 years of marital happiness is something to be proud of! (Especially in this day and age) May Allah give you many more years together. N may we all learn something from happily married couples as yourself. 🙂

at some point, yiou just have to accept that there is a level of risk and like anything in life, it could turn out in a way you did not excpect. then you need to seek His guidance to know what it is He wanted you to learn from this experience, and what to do – to stay or leave at that point.

missing upbringings that teach piople to not expect disney marriages. to seek God in their marriages. to seek God in their trials. to accept that this is all a part of God making them a better person. The Prophet peace be upon him said: silence is wisdom, but very few people are aware of this.
Silence is so important in a relationship – to not always just say what comes to mind; to not snap back at a comment made by the other; etc. we talk about the duties of brotherhood in faith, yet our standards for ourselves, once married, are far lower. we have much less tolerance for our spouses than we do for our sisters/brothers in faith. we forget even about how doing good deeds is the whole point of life – and we start to compare who is doing “more” in the relationship – seeing it not as a chance to serve Allah and potentially get good deeds to our account every single day by the kindness we show and difficulties we endure, but a tit-for-tat kind of deal. are we selfish? also, are we expecting from our spouses to fill a space in our hearts that only God can? to fulfil needs and give us joy, that only He can?

um. first of all, the shower back then is not how it is now. it was scooping water from a bucket, and the Hadith is talking about how they were scooping water from teh same bucket, to make ghusl. to GET into a state of purity, not to stay in a state of impurity….Sayyida Aisha radi Allahu anha said that she and the Prophet peace be upon him never saw each other’s private parts.
don’t know why tehre is such a misundertsanding of that Hadith.
may Allah guide us.

there is a dearth of healthy resources on sexuality from a muslim viewpoint. i recommend muslims research spiritual sexuality from other traditions to get beyond the consumer mentality and porn mentality that has overtaken our understanding of sex, even amongst muslims. try tantra – it’s much closer to the spirit of Islam than victoria’s secret or whatever else is out there – all has been deeply infected by the virus that is porn – even pop culture, magazines, and self-help books. too much focus on the physical and none on the spiritual growth that can be there in intimate relations.