Reading this brought a smile to my face, sister:
“But after constant denial, I realized that my feelings are legitimate and if nobody validates them, at least I can do that myself because Allah knows. He does.”

Not because you were in denial, but because you realized that your feelings DO matter. You feel what you feel, for a reason. Pain/loneliness/discomfort is not to be pushed aside or to be minimized. These are all real feelings and you have the *right* to feel them, as a human being. When we look at the stories of the Prophet, we never EVER see him minimize the pain of the people around him–he comforts them. He lets them know their pain is real, and that he is with them. One of my favorites is that of a young boy whose pet bird died. The Prophet asked why the young boy was sad, and when he heard it was because of his pet dying he empathized with him in a kind comforting way, making the child smile.

Then, in mature age, they are attracted to Islam. They read a bit, talk a bit to someone (who may only poorly speak their language), think that it may be “the right thing” to do to profess themselves Muslim, so they take Shahadah. They they run smack face into the ugly reality of the Muslim community in North America, in which in many places (I do not say all) converts, especially older ones, are more or less ignored, so in the midst of a community they remain alone. In all their loneliness, they remain alone.

May Allah (swt) have mercy on us all.

NS, I think you captured a most excellent response. I feel the same way. Ameen.