“Guide us along the Straight Way. The way of those whom You have bestowed Your Grace. Not of those who earn Your anger, nor of those who go astray.” (Qur’an, 1:5-7)

When we examine these verses, we find that it has some very interesting qualities that make it a unique prayer. In a short examination of the above verses, especially the section we have highlighted, we will find guidance on:

1. Having humility as a servant of Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala (Glorified is He) in the community
2. Ascribing success to Allah (swt) and not to oneself
3. The comprehensiveness of Islam
4. The social nature of the Islamic message

As we explore the garden of Surah Fatihah, we will pick these four fruits for today.

1. Humility

In this prayer which Allah (swt) revealed to us, it is clear that we are to ask for guidance upon the Straight Way. However, the nature of this path, its location, its signs, its characteristics, and its direction are all left out. We are given no indication as to how to get there, how to find the map for it. Instead, the path is described in one single way: “The Path of Those Whom You Have Favored”.

It is interesting that rather than pointing to concepts or ideas for the individual to discover on one’s own, Allah (swt) pointed to people. He tells us that this path is found with those whom His favor is upon. What is the point of doing this?

It has immediately turned us into students. We are seeking this path and when Allah (swt) points to the people whom He has favored, our minds become fixed on seeking out these people. Who are they? How can we be like them? How can we join their company? Rather than allowing us to feel arrogant that we are on the Straight Path, we have been directed towards others who may already be there. But again…who are they?

“All who obey Allah and the Messenger are in the company of those on whom is the Grace of Allah, – of the prophets (who teach), the sincere (lovers of Truth), the witnesses (who testify), and the Righteous (who do good): Ah! what a beautiful fellowship!” (Qur’an 4:69)

And here we have:

-How to join this company: Obey Allah and the Messenger ﷺ (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him).

-Who the company consists of: the Prophets, the Siddiqeen (the truthful sincere servants of God), the Shuhadaa (those who testify to the Truth with their speech, and if needed will defend the Truth and the innocent with their lives), and the Saliheen (those who are righteous in actions).

Allah (swt), then praises this group by calling it a beautiful fellowship.

By naming these four groups of people in the Qur’an as those whom the Grace of Allah is upon, He has pointed us not to a set of concepts, but to a community and a set of examples. From the teachings of the Prophets we take knowledge and the framework of Truth for all that follows. From the Siddiqin we derive the lessons and examples of sincere worship. From the Shuhada we see examples of those who act and struggle to testify to Truth. And from the Saliheen we see examples of righteous actions. So the one aiming for the Straight Path should seek out these people, their company, their examples, and learn from what they have.

This teaches the servant that he should think himself self-reliant in his journey towards God’s grace, but should remember that there are those in the past, and those in the community that he can seek out and be in good company with.

2. Ascribing Success to Allah

In mentioning the Straight Path, Allah (swt) does not simply provide a list of actions. Rather, He makes it clear that He is the One acting.

أَنْعَمْتَ – This word means “You bestow nai’mah (favor) upon” in reference to God. A subtle reminder that we are not the one’s who “earn” Allah’s grace, but that He gives it to us out of His mercy. Though we can attract his Mercy through sincerity, Allah (swt) is reminding us that it is not our deeds alone that bring guidance or forgiveness, but it is something that He bestows upon us as a Favor, a nai’mah. This again reminds the servant to be humble before Allah (swt).

3. The Comprehensiveness of Islam

Every group, methodology, and ideology will have some method or idea which it sees as the primary driver of Islamic reform for the individual and the community. Some groups oriented around Tasawwuf (self-improvement) will focus on spiritual purification. Others focused around societal change will focus on activism in the community – both social and political. Other organizations will focus on righteous deeds and worship. Yet others will focus on knowledge.

However we see that when Allah (swt) describes the people who have His Grace, they represent ALL of these various interests and agendas. They are according to Qur’an, 4:69:

–Nabiyeen/Prophets: The bearers of the Message of God, the deliverers of Knowledge from God to humanity, and the providers of the religious foundation for generation to come and all the groups that follow below.

–Siddiqeen/the Sincere and Truthful: Those whose hearts are purified and are sincere in their reverence for God and in their actions amongst people. Truthfulness emanates not only in their speech but in their actions, because their intentions are pure and for God alone.

–Shuhadaa/Witnesses: Those who actively strive to witness to the Truth under extraordinary circumstances, whether under threat of loss of life or wealth. They testify to Islam and call to goodness and benefit and may eventually find themselves giving all they have in order to defend innocent people and protect the lives of others.

–Saliheen/the Righteous: Those who dedicate extraordinary amounts of time to the doing of good deeds. Prayer, fasting, giving charity, visiting the sick, helping the orphan, remembering the name of God, reciting the Qur’an, and doing their utmost to have their limbs always in the worship of the Creator and in the service of His Creation.

It is amazing that in describing the people of the Straight path, the Qur’an mentions all of the various goals and methods – the seeking of knowledge, the purification of the soul, activism, and the doing of good deeds. Yet another testament to the fact that Islam is comprehensive, and calls for balance in the various priorities on the Straight path.

4. The Social Nature of the Islamic Message

By highlighting a set of people, instead of a list of to-dos, the Qur’an has pointed us towards a religion that is not individualistic, but is based around being part of a community. It is asking us to seek out people from whom we can learn, and good company with whom we can be.

As the Prophet ﷺ said, “A person is upon the religion of his/her friends.” The most intimate companions of a person will often affect his/her faith and will influence the direction of his/her life.  But if we know that we should seeking the knowledge and stay within the framework provided by the Prophet ﷺ, strive to be with people who show purity and sincerity as best as we can notice, spend time in circles of activism and call to good things, and work hard to do righteous actions and be in groups that do righteous actions, the Qur’an is telling us that while in that company, we are on the Straight Path – insha’Allah (God-willing).

Sources: Ma’riful Qur’an (Shafi Uthmani), Tafhim ul Qur’an (Maududi), Ibn Kathir, Tafsir Jalalayn

Many of us have experienced, are experiencing or will experience difficult moments that make us wonder whether there is any hope for our future. These moments rock the foundations of our inner selves. They can throw us into abysses of doubt and devastate our self-esteem, nearly obliterating our sense of hope for a life that we dreamed of.

These moments are often full of anger, sadness, regret, or a combination of all. They show up in our lives as the death of our child, emotionally painful marital strife or divorce, through difficult living situations, or health problems that wage war upon our physical bodies which leave us in constant pain. They can materialize through financial losses, physical assault, or sexual abuse and victimization.

How does one recover from these traumatic times? How does one trudge through them and come out of the other side still capable of functioning and finding some semblance of joy in life? And how does one deal with the realities of these problems, and find the strength to develop optimism and happiness again?

If you are being victimized or have thought about hurting yourself – seek help from professionals immediately.

Before we discuss how to turn towards God to withstand tribulations and heal the rifts in our hearts, I want to mention that if you are being hurt physically in any way, you should not hesitate for a single moment in seeking help from the authorities. Contact a friend, a school counselor, a teacher, or the police. Many people hold off on doing so, thinking that their situation will get better or that reporting their victimization will somehow bring dishonor on their family; they think their abuser will one day stop. This  only makes bringing an end to the abuse more difficult. You need empowering to end the situation immediately, and then we can begin to discuss your healing process. The same goes for anyone thinking about hurting themselves or have already self-harmed. Before any progress can begin spiritually, this physical complication needs to end.

Islam values the roles of expertise and professionalism, as the Prophet ﷺ (peace be upon him) said: “Verily Allah has prescribed proficiency (إحسان) in all things” (Muslim). We should remember that religion alone is not a ‘cure all’ – but that each subject field has its own set of professionals and licensed workers who can help us through various issues. Thus, if victimized, we should always seek to protect ourselves through the professionals in law enforcement, and sound medical advice – in addition to prayer and faith.

The Trap We Fall Into: “When my situation is better, I will be able turn to God and practice my religion better.”

One of the reasons for Islam’s revelation, along with improving the human condition and pointing the way towards Allah’s worship and love, is to give us the spiritual sustenance we need to navigate through life’s tribulations.

As Muslims we can make the mistake of idealizing Islam as being some kind of perfect lifestyle that if implemented ‘we will have the perfect life, without the trials and difficulties we face today’. We may think that Islam is a set of teachings, rules, and acts that we can only incorporate fully when our lives aren’t so messed up. What happens when we think this?

Firslty, we may suffer withdrawal symptoms of finding sweetness in our prayers and pray just to get salat out of the way, if we pray at all. We break our relationship with the Qur’an. We might start to withdraw emotionally and spiritually from engaging with Islam as an active path to allow God’s Light to burn away the impurities, the anger, the sadness, the depression, and the burden in our hearts. Finally we may completely stop thinking about Islam altogether, learning about it, and conversing with it. We instead believe that before we can engage with Islam and partake in strengthening an ongoing relationship with God – we need to lick our wounds and heal from the calamity that has befallen us.

This thinking is a fatal mistake that first and foremost is one of Shaitan’s (Satan) best tricks: to push us away from engaging Islam and pursuing a relationship with God, precisely when our hearts are bursting with negative emotions and sadness. Shaitan dupes us precisely when we NEED GOD THE MOST. This in turn misplaces the reason why Islam came with a form of worship to God and functional way of life. Islam came to strengthen us, heal us, and ultimately guide us to salvation from these trials of life. Whether those trials are spiritual, material, emotional, or all of the above, we must maintain that Allah (swt) is our Friend. The One Who will never leave His worshipper alone. The One God Who will never forsake His slave. He is Allah. And His names tell us about His true attributes:

As-Salam – The Source of Peace
Al-Muhaymin – The Guardian
Al-Qahhaar – The One Who Subdues with Strength
Ar-Razzaaq – The Provider
Al-Fattah – The Giver of Victory
Al-Latif – The Gentle
Al-Nur – the Light
Al-Mu’eed – The Restorer

So, we come to the main question. If we are going through a tribulation and we are stressed with what no-one in the world understands, why would we not want the Source of Peace on our side? Why wouldn’t we want to engage with Ar-Razzaaq, The Provider to strengthen us? Why do we shy away from studying and delving into life’s trials that the Giver of Victory has sent down to us?

It is time to ask the only One Who Subdues with Strength to subdue our sorrow, and ask God to shine His light into our lives and Restore our joy. This is why Muslims use du`a’ (supplication) for anxiety as taught to us by the Prophet ﷺ:

“O Allah, I am Your servant, son/ daughter of Your servant, son/ daughter of Your maidservant, my forelock is in Your hand, Your command over me is forever executed and Your decree over me is just. I ask You by every name belonging to You, which You name Yourself with, or revealed in Your Book, or You taught to any of Your creation, or You have preserved in the knowledge of the unseen with You, that You make the Qur’an the life of my heart and the light of my breast, and a departure for my sorrow and a release for my anxiety.”

Just look at this beautiful du`a’ taught to us by our Prophet ﷺ. Here, we are reminded of Allah’s (swt) Overwhelming Dominance over everything and over ourselves. We are also reminded of His Names, so that we can feel connected to His unlimited abilities that help us understand His roles in our lives. And finally, we are reminded of the Book – the Qur’an – that He sent, and through the Qur’an, the religion that is outlined for us.

But how can the Qur’an be our heart’s light and a release for our sorrows if we never read it? How, if we did not drown ourselves in it and in learning its secrets?

The Test is Not Whether We Bear Calamity, But Whether it Pushes Us Towards Allah

We know from Surat-al-Mulk that Allah (swt) has created life and death in order to try us and test us. We also know that Allah (swt) tries those whom He loves. However, there is more to life than simply passing a test of difficulty.

The test is not only whether or not we will bear the burden we are given, with patience. The test is also accepting that for our patience, at the end of the road is a guaranteed reward. It is accepting that a child we lost will insha`Allah (God willing) play with Prophet Ibrahim (as) in Paradise. That through patience a broken marriage devoid of love will be replaced by one that is better in this world or in the Hereafter. And that a painful sickness endured with remembrance of God, only results with each ounce of pain forgiving a sin clean.

The test is not simply to remember these things either, though they are the key to being patient. The ultimate test is whether the calamity pushes us towards Allah (swt). Whether we are able to take our difficult situation, and rather than relying on ourselves alone, recognize our dependency on and rely on God. From this we can then pursue a stronger relationship with God Who can bring peace to our hearts, and we can seek knowledge of how the deen (way of life) He revealed can in fact ease our pain.

It may be easy to worship Allah and engage with His deen when our lives are perfect. But that is exactly the wrong point. Our lives are not perfect, and will never be. So will we worship Him by participating fully in His Religion, even when things fall apart around us? Will we accept that the Sovereign King has the power and the mercy to bring us what we so desperately need? We must begin turning back to Allah, today, because He loves us unconditionally every day. And how does Allah love His servants? This story from the Prophet ﷺ should give us the answer:

“…Suddenly, a woman saw an infant in the midst of the captives. She took hold of it, brought it into her bosom, and started nursing it. The Prophet then told the Companions, “Do you think that this woman would throw her child in the fire?” We said, “No, By Allah she would not, if she is able not to.” He then said, “Allah the Exalted is more merciful with His slave than this woman with her child.” (Al-Bukhari)

Originally published in February 2011.

Our Culture Of Arrogance, Anger And Online Arguments

Dawud Wharnsby once wrote in one of his songs:

We use so many words but have so little to relay
as angels scribble down every letter that we say.
All the viral attachments sent and passionate insults we vent
It’s easy to be arrogant behind user passwords we invent.
But on the day the scrolls are laid, with every word and deed displayed,
when we read our accounts, I know, for one, I’ll be afraid.

That day I’ll be so afraid to read. (Album: The Prophet’s Hands, 2003)

One of the tragedies of the Internet is that it strips away much of the social contract we have put into place in order to make our interactions more pleasing and less confrontational. If someone upsets us online or gives an opinion we disagree with, there is no physical danger in refuting them, in calling them an idiot, a kaafir or any other host of names. If someone quotes a scholar we happen to believe is a “sellout,”or gives us a sport statistic about a player we don’t particularly like – many of us have no problem publically labeling the elderly knowledgeable scholar as a sellout and making sure the world knows through vile vocabulary that we think the player sucks. Of course when we insult them, we do not acknowledge that we are neither knowledgeable scholars nor professional sports players.

We would not say these things in front of the people we’re talking about; if these were our parents, we would adamantly make excuses and prevent gossip. So why do our fingers move fluidly to vent insults, accusations and even high-level political analysis about events that we have merely done a few Google searches on?

A few months ago, a young brother from my community was killed in a train accident while walking. Readers on the local newspaper’s website casually commented that it may have been his fault if he wasn’t watching the train coming. This was on the day of his death. Would they have said this to the face of his crying mother? Would they have spread this thought outside the funeral, so everyone within listening distance could hear? We would hope none of them would have the cruelty to do this. But by typing their comments on the Internet, this is exactly what they have done.

Similarly, many young Muslims youth throw accusations against Muslim scholars, spend hours online insulting Sunnis, Shi`ites, Ikhwanis, Sufis, Salafis, Tableeghis, Deobandis, and every other flavor of the Muslim spectrum one can imagine. Many actually dedicate a portion of their day updating their Facebook status, insulting so-and-so through a clever blog post, warning others, listing out their faults – all this with the conviction they have “enjoined the good and forbidden the evil!” And don’t deny it, many of us cannot resist commenting on websites, or Facebook statuses, where our Islamic political, social, economic, creedal, and legal opinions – usually set in stone – are MORE sacred than the other because “we learned it from a teacher.” Yet the majority of us did not have any formal, conclusive training in the Islamic sciences – which even if we had, would not justify the bitter tone and behavior.  As Imam Suhaib Webb says, “We are like firemen arguing about what hose to use, while the house burns down.”

What we must realize is that when we take part in this culture of debate, arguing, than arguing again, day after day after day, we are slowly devastating our own hearts. On social networks we feel a rush of adrenaline waiting for the counter-argument or foreign person to respond. We create intellectual forums then wait like vultures to check another person’s clearly messed up thinking to respond back with a counter-proof: “That’ll show them!” That AWESOME feeling after a lengthy response is not enjoining good or even productive: we are simply letting OUR nufoos (our souls and desires) tear apart the heart and run wild to see if they can prove ascendancy over someone else.

In order to truly understand the psychology behind this, we will approach this from two angles. First, let us see what the Qur’an tells us about this behavior. Secondly, we will explore a few points that can remind us why and how we need to stay away from this culture.

Let us examine Surah Luqman:

“O my son! Establish regular prayer, enjoin what is just, and forbid what is wrong: and bear with patient constancy whatever betide thee; for this is firmness (of purpose) in (the conduct of) affairs.

And swell not thy cheek (for pride) at men, nor walk in insolence through the earth; for Allah loveth not any arrogant boaster.

And be moderate in thy pace, and lower thy voice; for the harshest of sounds without doubt is the braying of the donkey.” (Qur’an, 31:17-19)

Benefits of the Passage:

1. We see that Luqman orders his son to enjoin good, forbid evil, and be patient. Why does he tell him to be patient? Because anyone who TRULY takes on the job of enjoining good and forbidding evil in a society will be faced with calamities, trials, and tribulations. I assure you, being overweight, being sleepy, or having hurting fingers in the morning as a result of excessive typing and online arguing is NOT the calamity Luqman is discussing. Rather, he is telling his son to remember that people will end up physically oppressing you if you stand up for what is right, and to be ready to bear that trial patiently.
2. Luqman tells his son not to “swell one’s cheek” in pride or be insolent. Yet, when we tell people that Shaykh X is a sellout, and that “I don’t take from him,” or that “He is not a traditional scholar so I would ignore what he says,”we have done just that. We have attempted to establish our superiority over a learned person with our words and have demonstrated our own intellectual bankruptcy. We could not counter the proof, so we fell to countering the man. As Muhammad al-Shareef once stated: “When one proof fails, a person often falls back to anger. Anger is not a proof.”
3. Finally Luqman tells his son to be “moderate in his speech, and lower his voice.”

What is the purpose of lowering one’s voice? So that one is not displaying one’s words to everyone in the vicinity, and bothering them with our displays of arrogance. Yet, every single time we write something publicly (including on this blog), we are displaying words for all to see. We are yelling at the entire world, asking the world to witness our words. Are we going to ask the world to witness us calling to good things? Or will we ask the world to witness us defaming scholars, insulting this group of Muslims or that group of people who we’ve decided are not Muslims? Will we spend our time showing the world how the Prophet ﷺ lived? Or show the world how we have our own personal problems, inadequacy issues, and a need to demonstrate how we are on the “right path” and all others need to fall in line?

We all need to seriously evaluate our souls in this culture of online argumentation and identify why we spend our time the way we do. A few realizations we must begin to change include:

Continuously leaving controversial and provoking messages in our online personalities, whether through networks, forum posts or blog comments. This is NOT “forbidding the evil”; this is opening a gate for evil. Any trained mental-health professional will point out that this is attention-seeking behavior from a person who wants to feel like they are making a difference and are important. Ask yourself do I need to respond? What would Prophet Muhammad ﷺ do?

While the refined soul wants to do dhikr (remembrance) of Allah (swt), the diseased soul wants others to do dhikr of itself. It feels proud that it has stood against evil by posting YouTube links, by invoking walaa wal baraa (loving and hating for the sake of God) and by invoking creedal differences we barely understand to excommunicate entire groups from being Ahl-As-Sunnah(people of the Prophetic way). In all our interactions, we must make Allah our focal point, not ourselves.

The soul thinks it is making the world a better place, but it is simply trying to make itself feel useful through the use of the Internet and is involving itself further and further in argumentation. Al-Awza’i said: “When Allah desires ill for a people, He opens the door of argumentation for them and prevents them from doing good deeds.”

An online action is no different than one which is written down with a pen and signed, and sent to the receiver. The act is witnessed by the Honored Scribes, the angels who write our deeds, and is recorded in the scrolls of our actions, and will be present for us to read on the Day of Judgment. An online insult against a person, a scholar, or simply an acquaintance has the same weight as a letter would. To think otherwise is a deception from Shaytan.

We are not God’s police on the Earth. We are His worshippers and the representatives of the Prophet ﷺ.  Would the Prophet ﷺ spend his time telling everyone that Group X is not doing a good job for the Ummah and Group Y is better? Would he spend his time insulting scholars? Did he even curse the people of Ta’if who threw stones at him? Rather, he ﷺ would reflect on the revelation and build Muslim men and women through constructive, productive coaching in real life, rather than gain retribution for every wrong against him. And this is a man ﷺ whose words were heavier than ours, yet even he did not stoop to argumentation.

If we are not ready to stand before historic imams: Ghazali, Ibn Taymiyyah, Ibn ul Qayyim, or contemporary shuyukh Albani, Qaradawi, Yasir Qadhi, Hamza Yusuf, Taqi Uthmaani, Suhaib Webb  – or any of the ‘ulama, jama`ahs or senior students of knowledge (that we like to discredit) – on the Day of Judgment, with the Angels of Allah and Allah’s Might before us and say: “Ya Allah – My word against his, this imam/sheikh/person is an innovator and led people astray, and I was your servant and I called to Your way with sound understanding that exceeds his” – then we should keep our mouths SHUT. I am not referring to scholarly differences of opinion that are dealt with through the referencing of proofs and legal methodology. I am referring to the bickering of people that many often resort to in judging the sacrifices, efforts, and studies others have made to serve Allah and further his deen.

Our own identity crises can make us feel we need to belong to a stronger group that is “correct” which in turn may encourage our online behavior in seeking conflict, being difficult and wasting everyone’s time. Many people feel alone, especially online, and to seek strength they resort to joining those who mock other groups. Their nafs feels it is better than other misguided people and revel in the pride that it is on a better path. This is dangerous thinking and needs to be checked.

We may have anger or emotional issues that we need to vent online to feel better. We may leave comments in the hopes of people thinking better of us, or for some other inadequacy that we seek to fulfill. It would behoove us to quickly do an examination of ourselves and our online personalities. Our various online anonymities allow our true selves to come out and act in ways that our common sense prevent us from doing in real life. So now you need to ask yourselves, why am I typing that? Who is it really for? Me, or them?

Lastly, we may just need to “get a life!” It is possible that you want to serve the deen, be involved in daw`ah, helping our communities and societies through Islamic values, but do not know how. The solution is relatively simple: get involved in local masaajid, your communities, engage with real people, serve your people and get away from the internet.

Additionally, seek knowledge for the sake of God, not for the sake of argumentation. I recommend searching this website’s Islamic Studies section for more on seeking knowledge, as well as reading a broad range of Islamic books. Study Islam in depth, pick a field and specialize in that area. Finally, read the Qur’an more often – after wudhu, Book in hand, computer switched off.

The threat of the nafs glorifying itself is an ever-present threat to every writer, speaker, and presenter who shares information about Islam. All of us must consistently take caution, advice, and spend time with people who discourage argumentative behavior and know us well enough to remind us of our own weaknesses, so that we do not let such behaviors manifest themselves in our lives. Many of us are surprised that the internet remembers everything. But to a Muslim, we should already know that nothing we do, type or utter ever escapes the pen of the angels who write, or the sight of Allah (swt). As Dawud Wharnsby says, when we are handed our accounts, will we be afraid to read?

“Oh man, these girls are a fitnah!”

“If a guy looks at you more than once, you aren’t covering properly.”

“If a guy likes you, then you are a fitnah in the community.”

“If you’re causing fitnah at school, it is better for you to leave the school.”

“Cover properly, so that you aren’t a trial for the guys!”

Such comments strike at the insecurities, religious aspirations, and self-esteem of our sisters in a way Islam never ever meant. This environment can only result in a few endings. One, a person will decide that she wants nothing to do with a practicing version of Islam and will leave practicing circles, deciding to strike her own path. Why would anyone want to be in a judgmental environment? Second, she may buy into this version of “Islam” and develop insecurities and issues that a natural, Prophetically-guided, scholarly approach to Islam would never allow.

In Islam, hijab is not demanded of women by men. Hijab and modesty is ordered upon women by the Merciful Ever-Living, Ever-Watchful God, as a protection and a barrier. A means of interacting in society while holding the line against anyone who would seek to harass, hit on, annoy, or irritate them. It is an outward symbol of an inward spiritual reality and aspiration. It is not a political flag for the Islamic state, it is not a sign of women’s subjugation to men, it is not a litmus test for religiosity, and it is not a measure of a woman’s piety, family background, or sign of her upbringing.

It is one act, a result of one of God’s commands. Everyone tries to obey Him, all of us fall short. As one of the `ulama (scholars) in Chicago once taught: “A person’s public sin is no worse than your private sin.”

The attitude that hijab and Islamic dress codes exist to protect men are an utter and total fallacy.  How do we know that? Let us approach the Book of Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He):

“O Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to bring down over themselves [part] of their outer garments. That is more suitable that they will be known and not be abused. And ever is Allah Forgiving and Merciful.” (Qur’an 33:59)

This verse comes with the cause or ‘illa behind the commandment: “so that they may be known and not abused.” Notice that the verse does not come with any mention of men. This is about the protection of women’s physical safety and presence from men, not the protection of men’s spiritual state from women. The fact that this protection may occur is a benefit of the Hijab for the community, not its purpose. From this, we can take four points that are critical to a healthy Islamic understanding of hijab.

1. Hijab is not there to protect men. If you think it is there to protect you as a man, we have turned an act to be done for Allah (swt), into an act to be done for us. It is there to protect women, so do not pervert the purpose of this command of God (swt).  There is no doubt that we come across immodesty on TV, at school, work, and all over. We should not use the fact that a sister is dressed in a way that does not fit God’s commandments (or our personal interpretation of God’s commandments) into a reason for having bad manners, a lack of respect, and a lack of humility.

For brothers, we should lower our gazes and move on. We don’t need to comment about how this is such a fitnah or loudly say, “Astaghfirullah (I seek refuge in God),” so our boys can hear us and see how “pious” we are.

For sisters, if you want to advise someone about hijab, ask yourself, am I advising because it makes me feel pious? Or am I advising because I care about this person and want to be a good friend and sister in calling her towards the pleasure of Allah (swt)? Most of the sisters who decide to wear the hijab in adulthood don’t do it because someone yelled at them or taunted them. They do it because they were able to recognize its beauty after spending time with people who wore it with dignity and showed modesty not just in their clothing, but also in their character.

2. Men should frame the issue of the fitnah of women in their environment as a factor of their own closeness to God. We know the society we live in and the schools we go to. That was never a surprise. Taqwa (God consciousness) is the key protecting us, so focus on that.

There are so many gender-relations talks and seminars in Muslim communities that it almost baffles the outsider. How can a group of people who claim to have the guidance and the path to Paradise laid out for them by the Best of Mankind ﷺ (peace be upon him), have trouble understanding the basics of how to interact with one another professionally and with respect?

The issue of struggling with the base desires, as mentioned in Imam al-Ghazali’s book, “Breaking the Two Desires,” is one that is closely tied to one’s relationship with God. The soul is something that was created by God, and in order to get it to grow and defeat the base desires of the body, it must be fed. As Shah Walilullah wrote, something that is created out of the spiritual world, cannot be fed with the material of the physical world. If we want to curtail the desires of our body (for sex, comfort, food), and increase the spiritual discipline and awareness of God in our own souls, the key is developing a relationship and connection to the Book of God, the houses of God, the people of God, and the remembrance of God. Complaining about how some women in our environment do not dress appropriately and so we are having spiritual struggles is a cop out.

As many of our spiritual masters have said over the centuries, the first step in gaining nearness to God, is to understand that one must blame his or her own soul, and acknowledge his or her own deficiencies, before seeking the One who is Free From Deficiencies. This is put into action through tawbah – turning towards God in repentance.

3. Hijab is about the Fiqh (Law) for Women, not the Tazkiyyah (Spiritual Purification) of Men

We should make no mistake. The legal opinion of normative Islam, from the time of the Prophet ﷺ till today, is undivided in the view that women should cover their hair and dress modestly in the presence of non-familial men. The scholars are also undivided in the fact that you and I should not yell at our parents, swear at the weather, treat people harshly, drink alcohol, miss prayers, speak meanly to others, backbite, or judge other human beings without knowing their situations.

Muslim men should focus on their spirituality through good company, prayer, and all the other practices we are ordered to do, while allowing this to remain an issue’s of women’s fiqh (law), and not of men’s spirituality.

Because of the judgmental comments and harshness, and sometimes, sly, torpedo-in-the-water comments directed towards our sisters, many imams, da`ees (people who call others to Islam), teachers, and well-meaning advisors have trouble approaching the topic of hijab. Anyone even discussing it is often painted with the paintbrush that he is “judgmental.” This occurs even when the da`ee or teacher is doing so in the best of manners and with sound knowledge. This fault is on all involved of course – those of us responsible for spreading an environment of harshness, and those responsible for judging all religiously-oriented figures as being harsh and difficult to deal with.

The bad manners of some of us in “enjoining good” have made it impossible for our teachers and people of knowledge to enjoin it correctly, as people paint all of those who open their mouth on this and other issues with the same brush. This allows those who actually try to claim that the hijab is not a part of Islam to have their ignorance heard, while keeping the knowledgeable scholars from having their knowledge spread. 

4. Men should advise the women of their family and encourage them on this topic in a way that befits the Prophetic character.

No one should take this to mean that hijab is not an important part of a Muslim’s woman’s obligations towards God. But that is the key. Towards God. Hijab should not become inflated as a symbol that boosts the religious standing of a woman’s family, nor a flag of political Islam, nor a tool to show off her piety, nor a cloth of guilt that makes her hate it.

It is instead, a command from God that comes in the most beautiful manner, for her own protection, her own elevation, and her own dignity.

Conclusion

As a closing note, we should remember that if we are doing something that is good, and are enabled to do it – we should not cast off that good deed just because we may have suddenly realized that our original intention was not solely for the sake of Allah (swt). Even if we are wearing the hijab, praying regularly, speaking well, giving charity, or doing any other good deed and originally began it with an intention that wasn’t healthy or focused on Allah (swt), we should not let Shaytaan (the Devil) trick us into ceasing the good deed. Instead, we can turn towards our Lord, ask him to purify our intention, and dedicate our deed towards Him.

This is a religion that is about community. As our Lord states in Surat al Hujurat (The Chapter of the Rooms, Qur’an 49), we are nothing but brothers and sisters to each other. We should advise each other towards good, but do it with a sound understanding of the legal basis of what we are calling to, as well as a sound understanding of the manners that befit our message.