“And [He also forgave] the three who were left behind [and regretted their error] to the point that the earth closed in on them in spite of its vastness and their souls confined them and they were certain that there is no refuge from Allah except in Him. Then He turned to them so they could repent. Indeed, Allah is the Accepting of repentance, the Merciful.” [Qur’an, 9:118]

We are taught that no matter we do, Allah’s doors are open. No matter how big your mistake or how far you have been, just return to Allah, subhanahu wa ta`’ala (exalted is He). He is there—and because He is at-Tawwab, He wants to accept your turning back to Him. It is like when we are taught as children to own up to our mistakes: “I won’t be mad at you,” our parents might say, “just tell me if you broke the vase.” But what happens if, after we turn back, or own up to our mistake, we suffer even more hardship?

Photo: Don Davis

This beautiful verse talks about that. Ka`b bin Malik, radi Allahu `anhu (may God be pleased with him), made a big mistake. He procrastinated at a time when the Muslims were in desperate need of everyone’s help and cooperation, until he could no longer contribute. He stayed behind during the Battle of Tabuk, and he had no legitimate excuse.

When the army came back more than a month later, Ka`b was worried. He contemplated lying to the Prophet ﷺ(peace be upon him). But he knew he could not do that, because he knew that even if he lied to the Prophet ﷺ, Allah (swt) knows that he did wrong. So he told the truth.

What do we imagine to be the response? He told the truth, so he should be let off easy, right?

This is where repentance shows its sincerity. The Prophet ﷺ told him (and two others who told the truth that they had no excuse not to join the expedition) to wait for Allah’s decree. In the meantime, none of the Muslims were allowed to speak to them. Ka`b felt terrible. He said to one of the Companions, “Do you know that I love Allah and His Messenger?” This continued for a long time.

Many of us would feel disheartened. We would wish that we lied. We would feel that our repentance was not accepted, otherwise why would we be punished like this? To add to that, some of the Christian Arab tribes heard about this and invited Ka`b (ra) to join them, saying they would support him.

What would you do? Imagine if you committed a sin, then repented. But after the repentance, all you find is hardship. Then you are tempted to sin again. Would you give up?

This story of Ka`b bin Malik (ra) teaches us not to give up after repentance. He refused their invitation, even though as the verse tells us, they felt that “the earth closed in on them”. He continued praying to Allah (swt). And the reward for that was being remembered in the Qur’an for eternity in the verse quoted above, as an example to all those who struggle after repentance. Allah (swt) will accept you.

Sometimes we need to learn from our mistakes. Being let off easy doesn’t help us, especially if we committed a wrong knowing it is wrong. Allah (swt) shows us in this example that even when it seems like He is punishing you, it is only for your own good. And if you are patient, and turn to Him even in that scenario, you will get something you could not have even imagined. As Allah (swt) reminds us:

“And whoever fears Allah – He will make for him a way out. And will provide for him from where he does not expect.” [Qur’an, 65:2-3]

Turning back to Allah—repentance—only brings good. Do not allow Shaytan (Satan) to mess with your head and tell you the reason you are facing hardship is because your repentance was not accepted. Allah (swt) has named Himself at-Tawwab, meaning He accepts ALL those who turn back to Him. He would never reject you and Allah never turns away the broken-hearted. Just be patient, and remind yourself that Allah is teaching you, like he taught Ka`b (ra). And remind yourself that, just like Ka`b (ra), Allah (swt) will give you something better than you could ever imagine.

In a previous article about God as as-Samad written by Jinan Yousef, we were reminded that the qualities of Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He) were often to be linked to other qualities, and that thinking that way unfolded new perspectives. If we praise Allah (swt) by calling him al-Ghafûr, for example, the Concealer of faults, it is implicit that we think of His other attributes, such as al-‘Alîm (The All-Knower) and al-Basîr (The All-Seeing). This notion of Allah as the Concealer of faults as well as the All-Knower and All-Seeing brings a dimension of real intimacy between the Creator and His creatures; Indeed, although He is al-’Alim and He knows everything about us, even the most despicable things, He is also al-Ghafûr and He conceals them, out of generosity, kindness, and mercy, for He is also at-Tawwab (the One who accepts repentance), al-Wadûd (the Loving), and al-Barr (the source of all goodness).

Thinking of Allah (swt) as al-Ghafûr can shed light on important dimensions of our nafs (inner self), pride and insecurity. What does it mean in our relationship with our own self to believe in a God who is at the same time al-Ghafûr and al-Wadûd? As it is often repeated, Islam is the religion of the golden mean (the middle between two extremes). Schematically, we could define pride as forgetting one’s flaws, and we could define insecurity as remembering those flaws too often and letting them haunt us. Thus, thinking of ourselves from the perspective of being seen in every detail by Allah (swt) helps us to stand in this golden mean of the nafs—between pride and low self-esteem—because we are aware that He knows our flaws, yet we also know that we are still always worthy of His love.

And what does it mean in our relationship with people to think of Allah (swt) as the Concealer of our faults? It means remembering the light of Allah even when we manage to keep our weaknesses from the sight of people. Remembering Him as the One who conceals our faults reminds us that those flaws are many and that God is so good to us that He chooses to hide them from other people’s eyes. Even if we manage to give a perfect image of ourselves and even if we feel the love of people for that image that we give, we know that there is always the One looking at us for what we really are, and no one is perfect. Our flaws are always under the light of al-‘Alim.

Beauty, wealth, and success can make us overlook our defects or forget them altogether, but by remembering Allah and remembering His quality of Concealer, we remember that He knows each and every one of our shortcomings, and it can help us keep our nafs under control. So it protects us from hubris and vanity, but also from insecurity because although we know that we have flaws and we know that God knows every one of them – from the greatest to the most invisible – we also know that those flaws can be forgiven by Him easily, and that they are always under the shade of His Mercy. Our flaws are seen by the only One who will always be ready to love us, no matter how bad our flaws are, as soon as we return to Him.

So finally, most importantly, what does it mean in our relationship with God? Understanding that Allah will always love us even though He is aware of every one of our defects creates an amazing bond between us and Him. What a comforting thought, what a relief, how soothing it is to understand that He will always be ready to love us, to accept our repentance and to understand our intention to be better, even though we slip and fall so many times throughout our lives! What a refuge we have here from the judgment of other people, as well as from their praise! Allah (swt) offers us this beautiful gift of being able to stand under His sight, under full light, being fully ourselves and knowing that we are loved for that.

Isn’t it once again the image of a mother, who knows what her child is proficient in and what he is not so good at, who will love and protect him no matter how nasty the child can be at times? It builds such a strong, sincere relationship to Allah (swt) because, very much like a mother, we feel confortable talking to Him, confiding in Him, knowing that He knows us so well and that He still loves us, no matter what, for truly He is al-Wadud.

Names of Allah Series:

Tawba (Repentance) does not need much. It does need for you to think that you are at a level in which you can face Him. He tells us in the Qur’an:

“Indeed, Allah loves those who are constantly repentant and loves those who purify themselves.” (Qur’an, 2:222)

Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He) loves those who always return to Him. Imagine being beloved to Allah (swt) because you always go back to Him. Nothing deters you—not your sins, nor your heedlessness. You go because you know you have a Lord who accepts you turning back to Him.

Sometimes what prevents us from returning is the feeling of “I’m not good enough.” Or even that we feel we cannot become better. But Ibn Ata’illah says:

“When a person commits a sin, this is accompanied by darkness. Indeed, disobedience is like a fire, and darkness is its smoke. It is like someone kindling a fire in a room for seventy-years. Do you not think that the roof of that room will be blackened? In the same way the heart is blackened by disobedience. And nothing wipes it clean except repentance to God. Humiliation, darkness, and being veiled from God are thus natural accompaniments of disobedience. But when you repent to God, the effects of these sins disappear.” ((Sufism for non-Sufis, Ibn Ata Allah al-Sakandari’s Taj al-Arus, translated by Dr. Sherman Jackson, p. 45))

The key to relieving ourselves of these burdens is precisely to return—because the act of returning erases all of that. When you return to Allah (swt), it should not be something heavy. It should actually be a liberating act. If you come home and find that your clothes are dirty, you would remove them. You would take a shower. And what happens afterwards? You feel good. You feel clean. You may get dirty again tomorrow. You will avoid getting dirty, but it may happen. And then you shower again when you get home. We don’t avoid taking a shower because we are sick of getting dirty. The feeling of being cleansed again is much too great, much too invigorating.

And Allah is so Generous, so Merciful, so accepting of our return to Him, that the following things happen:

• Forgiveness of the sin: Allah (swt) says, “The revelation of the Book is from Allah, the Exalted in Might, the Knowing. The forgiver of sin, acceptor of repentance […]” (Qur’an, 40:2-3). When He forgives you, Allah (swt) protects you from the effect of your sin on the Day of Judgment.
• Erasure of the sin: Allah (swt) tells us about Himself, “And He pardons much,” (Qur’an, 42:34). This means the sin is as though you never did it.
• Replacement of the sin with good deeds: Allah (swt) says in the Qur’an, “Except for those who repent, believe and do righteous work. For them Allah will replace their evil deeds with good. And ever is Allah Forgiving and Merciful,” (Qur’an, 25:70).
  This is the highest level of acceptance of your tawba. Allah (swt) will change the ghafla (heedlessness), the mistakes, and the sins into good deeds. You may see mountains of good deeds on the Day of Judgment and think to yourself, “When did I do that?” and you will be told that Allah (swt) accepted your tawba and turned all the bad into good.

And this is just with regards to sin. Sometimes our return to Allah (swt) is when we decide we want to do more, that we want to become better. When you return to Allah (swt) in this way, or by leaving sins, the greater thing that happens is that you become one of the people that Allah (swt) loves. And if Allah (swt) loves you, He will show it in His affection because He is al-Wadud. So why then do we not return to the One who accepts our turning back to Him?

The conditions of repentance from sin are the following, as stated by some scholars:

1. You regret what you did; you recognize that it is wrong: This does not mean that you hate yourself. If you hate yourself, then you don’t want good for yourself. ((For more on this, see Br. AbdelRahman Mussa’s iPersonalenrichment program: https://ipersonalenrichment.com/1a/)) However, you see the act that you did or the state that you are in as something that is not good, and which should change.
2. Stop the sin at that moment: Sometimes we don’t stop the sin because we think we will not be able to continue in desisting, that we will slip back into it. It’s ok. Just stop it at the moment. Don’t sabotage yourself with negative thinking. It’s like saying, “I’ll cut myself now because I will probably cut myself tomorrow.” That’s silly.
3. Intend never to do the sin again: In Huda’s article about well-formed goals, she gives us ways to help achieve our goals. Only use positive language and use the present tense. Tell yourself that you are doing good now. And ask Allah (swt) to help you. But what if you fall into it again? Remember: hate the sin, not yourself. Allah (swt) tells us in the Qur’an that He will tell the people of Jannah (Paradise), “Indeed, this is for you a reward, and your effort has been appreciated,” (Qur’an, 76:22). It is your striving that is rewarded.
4. If your sin has to do with the rights of another person, you should return the rights of those you have violated if you can. If you cannot, then make du`a’ (supplication) for them.

Someone may ask, so what do I do afterwards? I was a person in ghafla. I didn’t do that much bad nor was I striving for closeness to Allah (swt). Or I lived my life in complete disobedience, and I don’t know how to turn that around. The answer is to take it step by step. Your return to Allah (swt) was the first step, a beautiful step. The next step is to work on yourself and work on your surroundings. Pick something that you need to work on, and something that you need to stop doing. Work on them for a while until they become habit, or are easier to do. Then add. Don’t be discouraged if you feel that your development is slow and you didn’t suddenly turn into “Super-Muslim.” Remember that the Prophet ﷺ (peace be upon him)said:

“The most beloved of actions to Allah are the most consistent ones even if little in amount.” [Bukhari]

Start with what is obligatory, because that is what brings us close to Allah (swt). Then add the extra. You can do them simultaneously of course, but don’t prioritize the extra over the foundation. Many of us are familiar with Allah’s saying:

“Nothing endears My servant to Me more than doing of what I have made obligatory upon him to do. And My servant continues to draw nearer to Me with the supererogatory (nawafil) so that I shall love him.” [Bukhari]

And what is crucial is to get aid from a good friend, your spouse, your mentor. Even if you don’t have that now, keep seeking it—Allah is the Guide, and He is ar-Razzaq (the Provider), and He will provide. But let us take the first step in returning.

Before moving on to this week’s Name, I wanted to make a request: I’d like you to read over and reflect on the other Names that we went through so far. Our purpose is to know Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He); when we know Allah (swt) this life is easier to understand and Islam is more beautiful to live by. We then realize how Allah (swt) is truly with us, every step of the way, even when we are unaware of Him.

Today’s Name is at-Tawwab. Taaba in Arabic means to return. And at-Tawwab is the One who accepts all those who return to Him. And how many of us need to return to Him?

“And it is He who accepts repentance from his servants and pardons misdeeds, and He knows what you do.” [Qur’an, 42:25]

Despite knowing all that we do, He accepts our turning back to Him. Human beings, even our own parents sometimes, get tired of us. When we’ve ignored them for a while or have done something they dislike, they may reject us. But Allah (swt) reminds us:

“Do they not know that it is Allah who accepts repentance from His servants and receives charities and that it is Allah who is the Accepting of repentance, the Merciful?” [Qur’an, 9:104]

That is why He has named Himself at-Tawwab: so we know that whatever level we are at, He will accept us if we return to Him sincerely. Allah (swt) makes it clear who He has addressed to return to Him:

“[…] And turn to Allah in repentance, all of you, O believers, that you might succeed.” [Qur’an, 24:31]

As the verse tells us, tawba (repentence) is for everyone because we all need to return. It does not simply have to be from a hideous sin. It can be because we are far, so we need to return. It can be because we have slipped here and there, so we need to return. It can be because we want to take that step to get closer to Allah (swt), so we need to return. That is the essence of tawba.

Dr. Ratib an-Nabulsi states that in order to understand tawba, we need to understand Allah’s Mercy. His (swt) being at-Tawwab is because He is the Most-Merciful towards us. He invites us to return to Him. In a beautiful hadith (narration) of the Prophet ﷺ (peace be upon him), we are told:

“Indeed, Allah extends His Hand in the night to forgive the one who sins in the day, and He extends His Hand in the day to forgive the one who sins at night, and this continues until the sun rises from the west.” [Muslim]

Allah (swt) also gives us signs that push us to return to Him. Al-Ghazali states:

“Al-Tawwab makes reference to facilitating the causes of repentance in His servants time and again by making manifest some of His signs, conveying His counsel to them, and disclosing His deterrents and warnings to them.”

Whatever causes you return to Him—whether it is an ayah (verse) in the Qur’an, an article, a friend who reminds you, or even the realization of a sin you committed—is only because He wants to accept your repentance. Then you come within the realm of at-Tawwabeen: those who constantly return.