Part I

I want you to take a moment and think back to all of the Islamic events, conferences, lectures. halaqahs (circles) or any related gatherings you have ever attended. Try to remember the impact that the speaker had on you, the moments of inspiration that had you promising yourself that today would be the day you would change.

My question is: have you?

When I was younger, I remember feeling a strong excitement whenever the next Islamic event was around the corner. Like so many Muslim youth, I was part of a clique, so to speak, that would not only attend these events, but feverishly advertise them through networking and social media. Truthfully speaking, it sometimes became less about the event itself, and more about being part of a group that got to listen to popular speaker X on popular topic Y.

It felt inclusive…at the time.

Yes, I was learning about the basics of my deen (religion) which helped to create a foundation on which I could build my religious identity. However, at some point, I couldn’t help but realize that I had been met with a wall.

Somewhere along the way, the topics at such Islamic events started to meld together; certain stories, ahadith (sayings and traditions of the Prophet ﷺ) and Qur’anic verses were so often quoted that the impact they had on me were gradually dulled. I couldn’t help but find myself yearning for something deeper and more meaningful. I had also become keenly attuned to (and, later, excruciatingly bored with) the jokes and attention-grabbing tactics that many, if not most, of the speakers employed in order to engage the audience.

I soon realized that I had stumbled upon a spiritual plateau. This realization was marked by the reality that despite the numerous Islamic gatherings I had attended, I had barely changed. Sure, my mental bank of basic Islamic knowledge had grown, but when I was honest with myself, I had to admit that very little of that knowledge had actually translated into practical action on my part.

Upon realizing this, I felt consumed by guilt. Was I a hypocrite? After attending so many Islamic gatherings – to the point where everything sounded the same – why was I still battling with the same demons? Why did I commit the same sins? Why did my books and notes end up lost or collecting dust somewhere?

And then it hit me: I had come across a spiritual blockage which, at some point, had led me to a pause in practical learning and replaced it with a sophisticated and glamorized means of information collecting. I had collected a library of profound ahadith, ayat (verses from the Qur’an) and stories that made me feel good, but would eventually be stored in the back of my mind, rarely to be accessed again.

While at one point these events served as beneficial reminders for me, they now began to fill a spiritual void; one where I was falsely – and temporarily –  left feeling good about attending the event for the sake of doing so, and not necessarily for having left it a better person.

For so long, I couldn’t quite put my finger on the anxiety I felt once I noticed how bored and uninspired many of the events left me feeling. It was only through intense research at the time, and my current training as a psychotherapist, that I came across a way of defining my experience: spiritual bypassing.

In a fantastic piece in Psychology Today, Dr. Ingrid Mathieu says about the issue:

“We’ve gotten progressively more skillful in our methods: turning away from drugs or alcohol to alter our consciousness and turning towards things like self-help books, meditation, yoga, prayer, and special diets. In some ways, we are now spiritually distracting ourselves from our feelings, thinking that we are walking a healthy spiritual path.

“This experience is called spiritual bypass. Spiritual bypass is a defense mechanism. Although the defense looks a lot prettier than other defenses, it serves the same purpose. Spiritual bypass shields us from the truth, it disconnects us from our feelings, and helps us avoid the big picture. It is more about checking out than checking in—and the difference is so subtle that we usually don’t even know we are doing it.”

How many of us have yet to recognize the ways in which we have used spiritual bypassing as a defense against our deeper emotions and issues?

Once I became aware of this concept, I intentionally increased my self-awareness. I made sure that I attended events and circles that were relevant to my spiritual journey and that genuinely interested me. I also began to shed the position of the passive event attendee and instead assumed a role of critical thinking and engagement (something which unfortunately got me into a little trouble sometimes). What I discovered shocked me and helped me lift some of the self-blame and shame that I felt towards my spiritual plateau.

Firstly, I came to question (out of curious truth-seeking, not hostility) the actual organizations or groups hosting such events: What was their mission? What was their history of active community engagement and service? What were their underlying Islamic values and concepts? What progressive strides have they made in my community – or have they at all?

I also began to actually question the speakers from whom I was learning – something that we are usually conditioned not to do, especially as young Muslims. I began to attune myself not only to what the speaker was saying, but to how they said it and how it made me feel. I also began to consider the context from which they came. Shortly, I realized that much of why I couldn’t connect to particular speakers, or why their words would often leave me feeling uneasy, was due to our completely different worldviews and experiences. I began to see why I, as a young, coloured, educated Somali-Canadian female was having trouble connecting with what the speaker (who was often an older South Asian or Arab* male with orthodox Islamic knowledge) was telling me about Islam.

It wasn’t about race or politics; it was about relatedness. My difficulty with establishing congruence between the Islam I was learning in these controlled environments and the Islam that I faced on a day-to-day basis stemmed not from an inherent deficiency in my sensibilities – or that of the speaker – but deeper issues rooted in race, privilege, authority, socio-economic status, gender, upbringing, education, perspective and hierarchy, to name just a few.

In time, I began to see how my true struggles were not being addressed at these events. Yes, it was nice to learn about our wonderful and enriched Islamic history, but what did that mean for me right now? What did it mean after I left the event? I am sure the onus of responsibility to create meaning and connection lies mostly with the individual; however, what about the roles of our speakers, Islamic organizations and workers?

*please note that these ethnic groups were used as an example for the purpose of highlighting cultural differences. Such differences, however, are not limited to individuals from these groups.

How many times have you heard someone say practising Islam or being a ‘religious’ Muslim is difficult? Reflect on the following. Imam al-Bukhari in his Sahih relates the following hadith (record of the words of the Prophet ﷺ, peace be upon him) in the chapter On The Deen Being Ease.

It is related from Abu Hurayra that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “The deen is ease. Whoever makes the deen too hard for himself will be overpowered, so direct yourselves to what is right, follow a middle course, accept the good news of the reward for right action, and seek help [to reach your goal by being constant in worshipping] in the morning, evening and some of the night.” (Hadith no. 39)

“The deen is ease.”

Word Analysis:

deen = Obedience, a state of abasement and submissiveness.

In the hadith, al-deen is referring to Islam as the means or the vehicle by which one is obedient and in a state of humble submission to Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala (exalted is He). It is synonymous with shari`ah (law) and includes both Islam (i.e. practice) and Iman (faith).

yusr (ease / easy) = ease, facilitation without constriction.

Commentary:

Ibn Abi Jamrah in his commentary of the abridged Sahih of al-Bukhari, Bahjat al-Nufus, highlights a number of ways the statement ‘The deen is ease’ can be understood and demonstrated. Some of them are as follows.

1. Deen here can be understood as both Iman and Islam together. Iman (faith) is ‘easy’ in the sense that it is straightforward without any complexities. This is demonstrated in the hadith where the Prophet ﷺ tests the slave girl to see whether or not she is a Muslim. He was satisfied by her action of simply pointing to the sky to indicate that Allah (swt) is above his creation and by her attesting to the fact that he was the Messenger of Allah. As for the ease in Islam, the practice, this is demonstrated by the famous hadith where a person asks the Prophet ﷺ about the obligations of Islam and the Prophet ﷺ  tells him about the five obligatory prayers, the obligatory fast of Ramadan and the obligatory zakat (charity). Each time the person asked if there was anything more than the obligatory prayer, fasting and zakat the Prophet ﷺ  replied that there wasn’t unless he wanted to do something extra voluntarily. While the person was leaving he said to himself, by Allah I will not increase nor decrease from that. The Prophet ﷺ said he has succeeded if he is truthful.
2. The ease here could be referring to what you have been given as a deen compared to the previous nations and the fact that you have only been obligated with that which you have the capacity to do. Allah (swt) has removed the burdens that were in the shari`ah of the previous nations from this ummah (community). For instance, the process of repentance for this ummah is made by regret, giving up the sin and seeking forgiveness whereas for some previous nations repentance was through capital punishment (for some sins). Another example is that unlawful things for us have been made lawful in times of necessity whereas this was not the case for previous nations.  Also the fact that Allah (swt) has only burdened us with obligations that we have the physical and intellectual capacity to fulfil, for if he did burden us with something beyond our capacity, it still would have been acceptable as He is all Wise and the Omnipotent whose decisions none can overturn. Therefore it is from His favour and bounty that He has forgiven us and only made us responsible according to our capacity. As He says in the Qur’an: Allah does not burden the soul beyond its capacity (2:286). Therefore the one who is made responsible for that which one had the capacity to bear then that is from ease and not from hardship.
3. The ease here could be that deen is easy for the one who has knowledge of the deen and it is difficult for the one that is ignorant of the deen.
4. The ease referred to here could be the fact that the legal texts that imply an obligation without any room for other interpretations are few in number. The vast majority of legal texts are open to different interpretations (that lead to more than one valid legal option) and therefore this is ease and flexibility from the Master to His servants.
5. The ease referred to here could be to shorten one’s hopes, because shortening one’s hopes is amongst the causes that assist one in the deen so that the deen becomes easy. This is due to the fact that when one’s hopes are shortened covetousness is reduced, zuhd (detachment from unnecessary things) becomes easy and performing good deeds becomes light. This is similar to what the Prophet ﷺ mentioned: “When one of you wakes up in the morning, do not expect (to live) till the evening and when one of you goes to sleep in the evening do not expect (to live) till the morning.”
6. The ease referred to here could be to perform good deeds in reverence to the rights due to Allah (swt) since the deen belongs completely to Allah. When one does this the deen becomes easy due to the sweetness of obedience, performing deeds become effortless, and in fact, one is nourished by the deeds performed for the sake of Allah (swt).

In such a reality, it becomes very easy for us to get caught up in a rat race and forget the reality of who we are, why we are here and what we are meant to do in our relationship with Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He). We are constantly moving from one stage in our life to another. We were once kids, carefree, and life was easy. We then moved on to school and eventually made it to and through college. We started our careers, we entered into marriage and eventually parenthood and so on. All of these are stages of our lives; some we might have experienced, some we might be experiencing, and some we might have yet to enter. Allah (swt) alludes to this constant movement from stage to stage in the Qur’an: “[…] you will surely experience state after state,” (84:19).

What are we doing if not experiencing one state and then another and another constantly? Our busy lives cause us to forget to take a step back and evaluate the reality of our situation and where we stand in our relationship with Allah. It is very important that in the midst of everything, we engage in self-reflection so as to evaluate ourselves and our standing with God through the lens of the Qur’an. This will help us to see our lives according the Qur’anic reality and we will be able to prioritize our days by seeing through the Divine perspective given to us in the Qur’an. It is very easy for us, as flawed and imperfect human beings, to overlook the reality of our lives and incorrectly assess our situations thus leading us to give importance to secondary matters while neglecting more important ones such as our relationship with God, our families, our parents and our children.

In another place in the Qur’an, Allah (swt) gives a description of the life of this world:

“Know that the life of this world is but amusement and diversion and adornment and boasting to one another and competition in increase of wealth and children – like the example of a rain whose [resulting] plant growth pleases the tillers; then it dries and you see it turned yellow; then it becomes [scattered] debris. And in the Hereafter is severe punishment and forgiveness from Allah and approval. And what is the worldly life except the enjoyment of delusion?” (Qur’an, 57:20)

This is one of the most amazing verses of the Qur’an. In it, Allah (swt) defines the human experience—from Adam `alayhi sallatu wa sallam (may Allah send his peace and blessings on him) to us. If we were to examine the different descriptions given to the ‘life of this world’ in the verse, we can see that each very clearly defines certain periods in our lives. We are always in one of these states no matter how old we are or how young. There was a time when we were children that our main concern was amusement—we wanted to have fun and we sought to spend our days playing with toys, games and cartoons. Eventually we grew out of that and moved into our high school and college years where we started noticing the opposite gender and were distracted by our studies. After this, we began to think about our careers and marriage and we focused completely on seeking them. We then proceeded to buy a house, move into a new place, begin our new lives and seek to build a family. We moved ahead to building our family and speaking to each other about how we secured a promotion, or bought a new car, or how our son or daughter spoke their first words. Finally we reach our final state that stays with us to the end where we begin to compete with our peers in our wealth and kids; the time when we tell our kids, “His daughter got into Harvard, you need to get into Harvard as well!” or “He just got a raise to six figures, I have to get that too!”

Allah (swt) draws a profound parallel between these states of our lives and the yearly cycle a farmer experiences. A farmer plants the seed, waits for the rain or waters it constantly, cares for it as it grows and blossoms into a plant, reaps the benefit from it and eventually the plant grows old, turns yellow, dies and turns to dust. Is it not the case that we do this in our life? Don’t we plant the seed for something we desire so it becomes a reality? And then we tend to it and preoccupy ourselves with it so as to enjoy the blessings it offers until eventually it grows old and turns yellow and is no longer valuable—and we look forward to the next big thing. Isn’t this exactly how our lives are passing us by? We buy the latest model car or iPhone and we love it until next year when the new model comes, and this model that was so new and amazing just yesterday ‘turns yellow’ and looses value.

Immediately after micro-assessing our life and eloquently summing it up for us, Allah (swt) forces us to see it in the perspective of the Hereafter, the way He sees it, and the way the Qur’an wants us to understand it. In the same verse, He says, “And in the Hereafter is severe punishment and forgiveness from Allah and approval. And what is the worldly life except the enjoyment of delusion?” (Qur’an, 57:20).

There are many subtle things happening here that we can easily overlook at first glance. The first is that Allah (swt) mentions punishment first, and second His forgiveness and approval. It’s as if to say that if we were to allow ourselves to forget about the Hereafter and our relationship with Allah (swt), then we are liable for the punishment in the Hereafter because we have strayed from the purpose of our creation. The second very profound thing is that out of His Mercy, Allah (swt) does not couple punishment with Himself but instead couples Himself with His Mercy and His Pleasure. It is as though He is telling us, that He does not desire to punish us so He does not even mention Himself with punishment in His Speech. By distancing Himself from punishment, He is asking us to do the same by taking heed of His warnings. Allah (swt) says in another place in the Qur’an, “Allah wants to accept your repentance […]” (Qur’an, 4:27). Finally, the question comes in a rhetorical fashion, concluding for us the reality of this life as a deluded sense of enjoyment when compared to the Hereafter. This reminds us that the Hereafter is very close to us and that we only need to view our lives through the perspective of its relation to the Hereafter so as to understand its reality. It is narrated by `Abdullah radi allahu `anhu (may God be pleased with him) that the Messenger ﷺ said, “Paradise is nearer to any of you than the strap on his shoe, and so is the (Hell) Fire.”1

Allah (swt) then changes the conversation slightly, saying:

“Race toward forgiveness from your Lord and a Garden whose width is like the width of the heavens and earth, prepared for those who believed in Allah and His Messengers.

That is the bounty of Allah which He gives to whom He wills, and Allah is the possessor of great bounty.” (Qur’an 57:21)

We are told to race towards Allah’s forgiveness and Paradise as opposed to running towards this life. As humans we always need something to look forward to, a goal—it gives us hope and allows us to see past difficulties and tough times. Allah (swt) knows this about us and because of this, He gives us His forgiveness and Paradise as the ultimate goal worth seeking, thereby allowing us to see our temporal problems and difficulties as just that: temporary. It does not mean that we let go of our numerous responsibilities and commitments and isolate ourselves, but it means that we see them as a means towards something greater and that we work towards Allah (swt) with moderation and establish a balance between what our lives demand from us and what Allah (swt) requires from us. We do not make this life the goal, but rather the means towards the higher objective—the forgiveness of Allah (swt) and Paradise.

Abu Hurayra (ra) narrated that the Messenger ﷺ said, “Do good deeds properly, sincerely and moderately, and worship Allah in the forenoon and in the afternoon and during a part of the night, and always adopt a middle, moderate, regular course whereby you will reach your target (Paradise).”2

We seek Paradise by utilizing our busy lives and doing good deeds sincerely and moderately as a means towards the Mercy of Allah (swt) and His pleasure. Allah (swt) asks us to see past the temporal nature of this life and see it for what it is and what it was always meant to be—a means towards Him and Paradise.

The verse goes on to give us a description of Paradise, not what is within it as in other places in the Qur’an, but rather of its size and vastness. This is interesting because firstly we cannot quantify in our minds the width that is being spoken of; and secondly, if we take a look at the previous verse—keeping in mind our context—we see a subtle comparison between the constricted nature of this life and this world to the vast expanse and pleasure of the Hereafter. Allah (swt) wants us to know that Paradise is huge, much greater and much longer lasting than anything we think is great in this life. He wants us to keep that in mind so that we don’t get disillusioned and so entrenched in our daily lives that we forget of the Home that is waiting for those who believe in Allah (swt) and His Messengers. This allows us to view our daily problems, challenges and responsibilities as the path towards Him and the everlasting Home. “[…] the Hereafter is better and more enduring,” (Qur’an, 87:17).

The verse concludes with a reminder that, in the end, the blessing of Paradise belongs in its entirety to Allah (swt). He is the Owner of everything and the blessings we get are from Him. He has invited us to Paradise, so the question we need to ask ourselves is: Do we accept the invitation and work to enter the Home of Peace?