By Nabila Z

“And he [Musa] entered the city at a time of inattention by its people and found therein two men fighting: one from his faction and one from among his enemy. And the one from his faction called for help to him against the one from his enemy, so Moses struck him with his fist and [unintentionally] killed him. [Moses] said: “This is from the work of Satan. Indeed, he is a manifest, misleading enemy.”

— Qur’an, 28:15

Musa’s alayhi salatu wassalam (peace and blessings be upon him) desperate call for help was captured in a powerful du`a’ (supplication) when he found himself homeless with nowhere to go, just after he had accidentally committed murder and the chiefs of the city were on the hunt for him. No trials, no nothing. They wanted him dead.

So as Musa (as) was running away from the chiefs he found himself entering the land of Madyan, where he saw two women who needed help watering their animals. Bearing in mind his plight, what does Musa (as) do? He goes over and waters their animals for them. He has just fled a city in fear of being killed. On foot. Without food for days. He is exhausted. On his way there he was crying out to his Lord for help in a state of fear. He was probably in more need of water than the animals. Yet still, when he arrives, he goes to help the women. And then what does he do? He walks away.

“So he watered [their flocks] for them, then he went back to the shade and said: ‘My Lord, indeed I am, for whatever good You would send down on me, in need.’”

— Qur’an, 28:24

So he turns away. He simply gives back the animals, turns around and walks away to retreat into the comfort of the shade before making the above du`a’. A du`a’ proclaiming his destitution and his need of favor from Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He), asking for any good to come his way; any opportunity to do good like the one he just did. There is something amazing to learn from this.

Despite being exhausted, scared, and in difficulty, Musa (as) gave; he gave with no strings attached. Not only was this a selfless act, but he had no expectation of gratitude from the women and so immediately walked away afterwards, not lingering for a ‘thank you’ or any form of praise. This is exactly what we, as Muslims, should strive to emanate in our characters and personalities. We should be taking every opportunity to make a positive difference, whether someone asks us for help or not, by seeking out those who could use our support and assistance.

How many times have we known that someone needs our help but failed to act upon it? The simplest of smiles can turn around a day. Every second of the day, we are surrounded by opportunities that many of us unfortunately overlook. We may not be able to bring about world peace in one day but we can take the time to help our parents, brothers, sisters, friends and the people immediately around us too. We should be giving, helping, and serving others for the sake of Allah (swt) only and not seeking to feed our egos with mortal praise. Our self-worth is only dependent on our relationship with Him. The minute we start searching for honour and admiration in the dunya (this life) is the point when we should question our faith: why are we doing something and for whom? Musa’s (as) focus remained on Allah (swt). And in actual fact, letting go of these expectations and placing our hopes in Him is so liberating for ourselves—it no longer matters whether someone is grateful for your toils or not, so long as your heart rests in plain sight of Allah (swt). No unfulfilled worldly expectation then stands as an obstacle in our path of helping others. Subhan Allah (glory be to God), on top of all this, we do not just gain in perspective of self-development but we also contribute towards creating a more healthy society as we continue to do good work.

“[He] who gives [from] his wealth to purify himself, and not [giving] for anyone who has [done him] a favor to be rewarded, But only the seeking the countenance of his Lord, Most High. And he is going to be satisfied.”

— Qur’an 92:18–21

Grasping every chance, striving to offer help until it is weaved into the fabric of our consciousness should be the goal. The prophets (peace be upon them all) radiated selfless and loving dispositions, possible through their focus on performing deeds for the sake of Allah (swt) only; practising the kind of love taught to us by Allah. Deep-rooted expectations and attachments to the temporary dunya can sometimes be difficult to overcome and so we should learn that this will be a life-long process of development, but bear in mind that every struggle and trial insha’Allah (if God wills) will polish us like friction does for diamonds and gems. But something we can do right now is give of our love and our goodness to the people around us, and be grateful to Allah (swt) for His blessings and to those around us who have been a vehicle for His mercy and kindness.  =)

“And still, after all this time, the Sun has never said to the Earth,

‘You owe me.’

Look what happens with a love like that.

It lights up the sky.”

— Hafiz, 14th century Persian poet

A short while ago, my wife and I took our two kids to the local public library. Going to the library today is much different than it was when I was a child.  I remember the distinct smell of old books and how their pages seemed to coalesce into a never-ending narrative. There weren’t many computers back then (gasp!) and the ones that were around, made inter-galactic sounds that freaked everybody out.

When we got there, the kids jumped on to the computers positioned along the wall and started working on the interactive programs designed for their education. I took that opportunity to disappear for a bit and explore. As I perused through the columns of bookshelves, I saw a book that sent nostalgic goose bumps down my spine. The book called “The Giving Tree” is a short story written by Shel Silverstein. Initially published in 1964, this children’s book tells the story of a young boy and his relationship with his friend: a tree. In short, the boy befriends this tree that seems willing to do anything for him. The boy would come and play in her shade, gather her leaves, and even play hide-and-seek. As the boy grows older, he becomes more engrossed by the world around him and is no longer satisfied by the company of his friend.  At one point, he asks the tree for money!

”I’m sorry”, said the tree,” but I have no money. I have only leaves and apples. Take my apples, Boy, and sell them in the city. Then you will have money and you’ll be happy.”
And so the boy climbed up the tree and gathered her apples and carried them away.

And the tree was happy…

Here we see just one example of the tree’s unconditional love for the boy and its willingness to sacrifice itself for him. This story reminded me of the types of friendships we form and how dysfunctional many of them are. We have all seen, or even been a part of, one-way friendships where one party is always giving and the other always taking. Some give so much emotionally that they completely lose their identity and become utterly dependent on their so called, “friends.”

By now my kids are halfway complete with Dora the Explorer’s version of the matching game and I’m sitting in the corner, squeezing myself into one of those tiny chairs reserved for toddlers, totally engrossed in the book.

Don’t judge me.

But it got me thinking. What is the nature of a friendship in Islam? How is it described in the Qur’an?

Most of us know that many of God’s beloved messengers had names that give us glimpses into how He looks at them. For example, Jesus Christ (peace and blessings be upon him) is known in Islam as Ruh Allah-The spirit of God.  Mohammed ﷺ (peace and blessings be upon him) is referred to as, “Habib Allah”– God’s beloved. And Abraham, the father of the prophets, received the name, Khalil Allah– God’s friend. So, if Abraham (peace and blessings be upon him) was God’s friend, what was the nature of their relationship?

In chapter four of the Qur’an, entitled “Women”, Allah says,

“Who could have a better religion than someone who submits himself completely to God and is a good-doer, and follows the religion of Ibrahim, a man of pure natural belief? God took Ibrahim as an intimate friend.” (Qur’an 4:125)

Furthermore, in chapter 16, “The Bee”, Allah says,

“Surely Abraham was an exemplar, obedient to God, upright, and he was not of the polytheists. He showed his gratitude for the favors of God, who chose him, and guided him to a Straight Way. And We gave him Good in this world, and he will be, in the Hereafter, in the ranks of the Righteous. So We have taught you the inspiration, ‘Follow the ways of Ibrahim the True in Faith, and he associated none with God.” (Qur’an 16:120-123)

What struck me about those passages was the importance of gratitude in friendship. If we take a look at our friendships, whether with our spouses, parents, cousins, homeboys/homegirls, we’ve got to ask ourselves, are we grateful for that shoulder to cry on? Do we take the initiative to call our friends when times are good and not just when we need some cash?

At the end of the book, the boy, now an old man, comes back to the tree. The tree, unable to give anything more, tries to explain herself to the boy.

”I am sorry, Boy”, said the tree, “but I have nothing left to give you My apples are gone”.
”My teeth are too weak for apples”, said the boy.
”My branches are gone”, said the tree. “You cannot swing on them”.
”I am too old to swing on branches”, said the boy.
”My trunk is gone”, said the tree. “You cannot climb”.
”I am too tired to climb”, said the boy.
“I am sorry” sighed the tree. “I wish that I could give you something… but I have nothing left. I am just an old stump. I am sorry…”
”I don’t need very much now”, said the boy. “Just a quiet place to sit and rest. I am very tired”.

”Well”, said the tree, straightening herself up as much as she could, “well, an old stump is good for sitting and resting. Come, Boy, sit down… sit down and rest”.

And the boy did.
And the tree was happy…

The tree had nothing left to give. Despite that, she still offers her stump, barely a few feet off the ground, as a resting place for her old friend.

Life is too short to lose sight of the people we love. The friendships we formulate during our time here have the power to resonate for eternity. We just have to show gratitude and respect for each other’s time and effort.

And we’ll be happy.