Part I | Part II

A distant relative found out about my offer and told me, “Man, you should take it! Any girl will accept you [for marriage] with that kind of cash… You can buy her the biggest rock and throw the nicest wedding party.” After thinking about it, I have the following reflections to share.

In Islam, we all know that the man should be financially capable of getting married and able to support a family. However, that does not translate into a dowry or lavish and extravagant wedding that becomes a burden for the couple getting married. There is a lot of pressure from our families and communities to “go all out” on a wedding, spending beyond our limits – an act that displeases Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He), especially when we attempt to please others so that they can praise us.

Alhamdulillah (praise be to God), many brothers I know can afford to get married and have a beautiful wedding celebration. They all have great incomes and are content. Brothers in my network always remind each other to make the Prophetic du`a (supplication): “O Allah, we ask you for beneficial knowledge, blessed wealth, and accepted actions.” They do not ask Allah (swt) for more wealth, but ask Him to bless what He gave them and to make them content. They refuse to submit themselves to the marriage industry – materialism and pressure for an overly expensive and complicated marriage process – when Islam has made marriage easy. A man (or couple if they decide) should put on a wedding they can afford, a wedding that will be beautiful and welcoming for their guests.

There is so much pressure and unbelievably unrealistic expectations from our communities and families to put on an extravagant wedding (or if already married, to live outside their means) to the point where some brothers may resort to making money that is haram (impermissible), or if not inherently haram, obtained in a haram way (i.e. lying, cheating, etc.). All this for what? This extracts blessings from a marriage or relationship since there are no blessings in the wealth of the family. In fact, a haram income or the mismanagement of money can cause a family to deteriorate because the center of such a relationship is money and pleasing people, rather than pleasing Allah (swt), and Him alone. Living a financially balanced life within our means is one of the characteristics of `ibaad ar-Rahman – those who worship The Merciful (Qur’an 25:67). Do you not want you and your spouse to have this honor?

Many brothers are more concerned with taking care of their future wife and the family they will raise than with putting on an unaffordable lavish wedding, or living an unsatisfying materialistic lifestyle. Many brothers want to have a nice wedding, but at the same time focus on the marriage. There is a difference.

To my dear sisters – do you want to know a secret that is exceptionally attractive to a man? A content woman, wholeheartedly satisfied with what Allah (swt) provides and with what her husband is working hard to earn, sincerely appreciative of his hard work to take care of her. A real man, attracted to this, will spend even more and happily on her and the family, rather than resentfully, regretfully or hesitantly if the wife is insatiable. This is only natural, because Allah (swt) promises more to those that are sincerely grateful in their hearts.

“And [remember] when your Lord proclaimed, ‘If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor]; but if you deny, indeed, My punishment is severe.'” (Qur’an 14:7)

We often forget what the definition of a man is. The Arabic word for a man is “rajul” and is derived from “rijil”, or leg. By a basic linguistic definition, a man is defined as one who is able to stand up on his own two feet – to be responsible, independent and to support others.

If a couple is starting out their lives together, they should build it together. That relationship is built starting on day one, even before the wedding. As for parental financial support, this is obviously permissible, but I personally believe that the parents’ financial support should be minimal. The man, as long as he is financially stable, will gift a woman with a dowry he can afford and put on a wedding that he can afford, without any help except the help of Allah (swt).

My dear brothers and sisters, if a prospect does not accept you for who you are and is not content with what you have to offer as a person, then you have your answer as to whether this is the right person for you.

May Allah (swt) guide us to what pleases Him, preserve the Muslim relationships, grant all the single people pious spouses, protect us in this world and honor us with Paradise, where the real party is at.

By Karim Serageldin

In the relationship work I do, I make sure we practice skills in session because I know change occurs through time and repetition. When couples go home with some new skills to practice, sometimes they come back to my office complaining that the growth did not take place. Sometimes they give up because it seems “too hard” or “forced.” I often ask myself, “Why is it so hard for people to change when they have the tools and just need to practice?” What is stopping us from being consistent? Over the years I have come to realize that there are mental blocks and natural fallbacks on the path to growth that we must be aware of in order to be empowered along the way. Here is my list to help guide us through the pulse of human growth!

1) Know the Keys to Growth.

Time + Repetition = Change

Time + Changes = Transformation

Time + Transformations = Mastery

Whether you want to learn how to play guitar, memorize Qur’an or instill a new relationship pattern, these keys will get you there. Know the keys and remember them often. Recall them when things get tough and you feel like giving up. Remember that nothing happens over night and every master was once a novice in their craft!

2) Know no one is perfect.

I often hear the following from couples that play the blame game, feel put down and give up easily.

“My husband tells me I am the problem and I need the counseling—not him.”

“She doesn’t want to do anything different, she thinks I can’t change.”

“He/she will never change, there is no point to this!”

Firstly, any human being that does not recognize that they can always learn and evolve as a person is ignorant and in even more need of growth! Both of you need to accept that each of you have potential for growth and sincere dedication is required to achieve anything. No one has the right to say, “I am fine and in no need to change,” or “I do not need new skills.”

This is a deadly delusion and will likely lead to many other failures in life.

3) Get comfortable with discomfort: The Pain Value System

Sometimes we know what we want but don’t know how to get it. I know I need to lose weight or improve my marriage but “I just can’t take that first step.” This lack of motivation is killed by the fear and anxiety of the discomfort of change. We like staying the same because it does not require any exertion. This is why we get stuck and before you know it, years go by and then you tell yourself, “It’s too late.”

We need to psychologically assess and accept the reality of discomfort with any change and get ready for it. Pain and hardship is inevitable in life. Get over it and stop expecting life to be a stream of undisturbed pleasure. No one is free from tests, trials and discomfort. This is the existential journey in which we grow and refine ourselves!

Since this is a fact, all of us must assess the pain between different paths of action as well as the gain of those paths. This is the pain value system.

For example: if I don’t like being overweight and recognize it gives me pain and discomfort, I may also see that having an exercise routine, eating better and sacrificing my midnight snack binges are also painful. Well, which one am I willing to be uncomfortable with? Both are paths that will be painful but which path will have greater gain and benefit for me in the long run? Stay fat or get fit? Hopefully this reasoning will help us break through that first step and realize “Enough is enough. I am going to suffer anyways so I might as well do what is best for me!”

In relationships, we must do what is best for “us.” Couples express how hard it will be to work on themselves or practice new skills. I tell them, “You are already suffering in this relational pattern so you might as well suffer in a path towards growth instead!” Push yourselves to practice skills and support one another! It is better to try changing with hard work, than stay stubborn and not work—both paths will be painful but one will end in pleasure and success!

4) Growth is incremental.

The keys to growth clearly show that things take time and happen in succession. We all know the saying, “Nothing happens over night.” Every step towards achievement is part of the achievement. To get to the top of the mountain where that epic view awaits, you have to take one step at a time. As we walk up the trail we may stop to rest, sit and reflect, hydrate or even fall down a few meters, but we have to keep going and move one foot at a time.

Growth has a pulse and it is not a direct line shooting up vertically or even at a smooth 45 degree angle. It usually has waves and crests much like the lifeline you see on a hospital monitor. As a Taoist proverb says, “It is better to move slowly than to stand still.” In Islam it is better to do a small good deed consistently than a huge deed once. Why? With time, those small deeds will become a mountain of goodness for you and change your character. In relationships the daily hug or smile you give your partner will result in a deeper intimate connection overtime. Research by Shaunti Feldhahn, a best selling author on relationships, has shown that it is the little things over time that make couples happier. For example saying, “I love you” to your wife or “Thank you” to your husband when he does something will take the edge off overtime and prevent conflict eruptions in the future besides increasing the connection and gratitude in your relationship.

5) Progress not Perfection.

One couple I worked with wanted to make the dawn prayer every day together. Before this they did not pray at dawn at all and the wife requested the husband wake them up to have this new spiritual habit. The following week she came in feeling like they failed and I asked why? She said, “We only prayed three times this past week.” I pointed out to her, “So you did make progress?” She thought for a moment and said, “Yeah, I guess we did.” I helped her see that she was too focused on praying everyday, the end goal, such that she overlooked the actual growth: praying three times that week verses zero!

The progress is more important than perfection. In fact, perfection is practically impossible. For those of you thinking, “Well what about mastery?” Mastery is still not perfection. Perfection is only for the Divine. Michael Jordan still missed some shots and Thomas Edison failed a thousand experiments before the light bulb. Yet we recognize them as masters in their trade and remember the achievements and progress they made—not the failures. This is a major block we have in relationships. We focus on the let downs and disappointments rather than the effort and small progress that is happening. We can’t get there and be there at the same time. Patience is at the heart of progress and staying consistent requires will power. We can give up easily if we frame our actual progress as “failure” in light of it not being “perfect.”

6) Relapses may occur.

Yes, old habits can die hard. You may have not shouted at your wife for three months then slipped up again. You may have prayed everyday for two weeks then only a few times the following week. You may have been at the gym all year then took a month off.

People are wired in certain ways and have habits and behavioral patterns. Change is not easy and from time to time a pulse or trigger goes off and we may act out or lose steam. It is not the end of the world! Get back to it and use your previous progress as proof that you can do it again and keep that change pulse vibrant! Some people are really disciplined and can maintain a new practice no matter what; others have relapses from time to time. Don’t see it as a failure but a change in frequency. The important thing is to keep your pulse alive no matter what! Remember this the next time your partner seems to have “gone back to their old ways.”

7) Appreciation & Reminders!

I always tell my clients, “Appreciation of kind acts leads to motivation to act kindly.” As humans we feel valued and honored when we are shown gratitude. When we feel validated we naturally want to do more for others. This is why a child can do the same act over and over again if they get praised. It literally feels like a sparkling light went off in the soul! Showing gratitude is so important I start my couple’s sessions off with each partner first voicing their gratitude to one another. Part of showing appreciation is to reward each other and ourselves through small tokens of gratitude, whether material, verbal or emotional. The human being likes incentives and our society is all about rewards; even the hereafter has a set of rewards in place for those who believed and did good! Bottom line—treat yourselves and treat each other from time to time for your achievements. This helps us feel like we can keep going and set milestones to look forward to.  Part of appreciation is to remind one another of our good traits, praise the qualities and acts we want to see more of. This validates us and makes us feel that inner light beam which will motivate us to keep going and trying!

Karim Serageldin, founder of Noor, earned a BA in Psychology and Religion, obtained an MA in East-West Psychology and is a certified professional life coach. He worked in educational settings for several years and currently has a practice called Noor Human Consulting. His practical work and research includes developing a modern framework of Islamic psychology, relationship development, family dynamics and youth coaching. Visit noorhumanconsulting.com for more information.

inspired by my friends and the sheikhs that provided the information and life lessons

As young people, unhappiness is certainly not a feeling that is alien to us. We are all struggling in some shape or form. Sometimes, failing to succeed in our studies ruins our whole mood. Some of us are stressed about finding a job to support our living costs while others are wondering whether they picked the right degree; some may even be reading this hoping to find the motivation to pursue a goal in life. Some of us have friends suffering from an illness, or we may be the ones suffering; we might even be looking for that ‘special’ person.

There are many things for us to be unhappy about, and this post was not written to judge or look down upon those feeling unhappy. It was written because I know from experience that this feeling is difficult to live with. You may be indulging in sins, too scared to repent and return back to Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He). However, I want to try to give you a different perspective on all of these matters. During my moments of hardship I read many books, attended various circles and watched many lectures, and the following is what I came to realise.

No matter how bad your situation is, this dunya (material world) is the lowest of places. It is only up from here, insha’ Allah (God willing). This place was designed to be a complete test: some of us are tested with poverty, unhappiness and hardship, others with wealth, riches and goodness. It is tailored to each person and ultimately, the outcome of the test depends on how we deal with it. We fail when hardships make us bitter and we fall into the trap of believing that a merciful Lord would not make us deal with these adversities; equally, we may fall into the trap of believing that we are invincible and owe our wealth only to ourselves, forgetting to be thankful to Allah (swt) every day and to use our wealth in His way and for His sake.

The companions of the Prophet ﷺ (peace be upon him), radi Allahu `anhum (may God be pleased with them), frequently reiterated: “When things are easy they are always followed by hard times, whereas when things are hard they are always followed by easy times.” If we were just patient with all the tribulations that befall us, we would be in `ibadah (worship); we could be just sitting in our homes and, if we are patient with the trials Allah (swt) tests us with, we are in `ibadah. But if we are constantly complaining, we should know that Allah (swt) will give us more things to complain about.

When trying to overcome this sense of sadness, there are those of us who stumble due to the sins we commit. However, we need to remember a statement made by the Prophet ﷺ : “I swear by Him in whose hand is my soul, if you were a people who did not commit sin, Allah would take you away and replace you with a people who would sin and then seek Allah’s forgiveness so He could forgive them.” This is who we worship. No matter what we have done, Allah (swt) forgives if we go back to Him with a sincere heart. His mercy is beyond our understanding. “And seek forgiveness of Allah. Indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful” (73:20). As Rumi said in one of his poems: “Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn’t matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.”

We know that Satan says that most of us are not in a state of gratitude. Allah (swt) states this very fact in the Qur’an: “And few of My servants are grateful” (34:13). The root of taqwa (God-consciousness) is gratitude. The Almighty is worthy of gratitude; Islam is not just about fear. We do not want to be a people who are motivated to do things only by a negative force like fear. Behind everything is Allah (swt); therefore in being grateful for everything we are grateful to Him. This effectively includes being grateful to people who harm us, because if we respond correctly, they are doing us a big favour by drawing us nearer to Allah (swt).

Now that you have understood this, sit down and think all the blessings Allah (swt) has bestowed upon you. He has allowed you to use electricity to read this piece; He has given you eyes to witness the very world He enables you to reside in. He has allowed some of us to attend universities where we enjoy the presence of great people. He has given us stomachs where we enjoy the very food He has granted us to eat. The list is endless.

Sometimes dedicating time to pondering all the things Allah (swt) has allowed us to enjoy shifts our whole mood. I do not say this just for the sake of it, but because it really is true. Over the past few days I have reflected a lot and realised that, in some way or another, Allah (swt) has answered all my pleas. Sitting down and pondering over the Mercy of Allah (swt) overwhelms me. This has certainly made me a happier person, eradicating the sense of depression, and most importantly, this realisation has made thank Allah (swt) for every incident that occurs to me. It is important to be continually in a state of reflection; the world we live in is one that can drain our iman (faith) and happiness, so the only way to overcome this is to remember and thank Allah (swt), counting our blessings more than once.

This thanking of Allah (swt) however is not merely saying ‘alhamdullilah’ (all praise be to Allah) after everything that occurs, but is also utilising the very things He has blessed us with. So if you have the gift of being creative, then use that to help those of us who are less talented in that area; if you have been blessed with wealth. donate to projects that make other human beings smile and feel this sense of gratitude. If your divine gift is in giving advice or writing, then by all means use your powerful words to help others. As the saying goes, the ‘world is your oyster’, and it is up to you to really show this gratitude.

A very noble man said not too long ago: “If you take a child and throw him or her up, there is a point when you see them go into a state of complete panic; then, when they come back to your arms, they are laughing. That is the dunya, I guarantee you. That moment is your life; you came from God and you are going back to God, and there is a moment when you are in a complete state of panic but just relax – you are in good hands. Just relax.”

Be happy, stay positive, ponder on your successes and constantly be happy with your blessings.

May peace be granted to all of us insha’ Allah.

“Thank you so so much! I really appreciate it,” I wrote to a stranger I had never met. I was so grateful to that man. In my first visit to New York, I had lost my phone in a cab. This phone had all my numbers in it, pictures, saved messages… everything. As silly as it felt to be making du`a’ (supplication) for something seemingly so trivial, I asked Allah, subhanahu wa ta’ala (exalted is He), to return my phone. I tried to have conviction that, because I had said the remembrances that day, I had not lost my phone.

Photo: Lucas ()

Indeed, the next morning, I received an email from the man who had found my phone. A few arrangements were made, and I was reunited with my phone shortly after. As I thanked that man, I turned to Allah (swt) in my heart and said, AlhamduliLah – all praise is due to Allah.

Al-Hameed: the Praiseworthy

It is befitting to learn about Allah’s Name al-Hameed after having studied His Name al-Ghani, as these two Names come together in the Qur’an. Al-Hameed comes from the three-letter root ha-meem-dal (ح-م-د), which is the opposite of the word al-thamm, which means to condemn. Something that is complete and perfect deserves hamd,while something that has faults or is incomplete receives thamm. This praise is accompanied with feelings of adoration, gratitude and submission. Al-Ghazali states:

“God – great and glorious – is the Praised by virtue of His praise for Himself from eternity, and by virtue of His servants’ praise for Him forever. But this comes down to the attributes of majesty, of exaltation, and of perfection, as they are linked to the repetition of those who continually remember Him, for praise involves recalling the attributes of perfection insofar as they are perfect.”

This Name is closely associated with shukr, meaningful thankfulness. But hamd is much more encompassing than shukr. Thankfulness is expressed to someone for a particular deed or favor, whereas hamd is praise and gratitude not simply for overt favors, but for the inherent qualities the praiseworthy possesses. Thus it is said that hamd (praise) is the pinnacle of shukr (thankfulness). Allah (swt) says in the Qur’an:

“To Him belongs what is in the heavens and what is on the earth. And indeed, Allah is the Free of need, the Praiseworthy (al Hameed)” (Qur’an, 22:64).

Thus Allah al-Hameed is the One we go to with gratitude and humility, praising Him not just for those favors we feel thankful for, but for His very essence and all His decrees. Sheikh Ratib an-Nabulsi has said that al-Hameed is the only One deserving of true praise, which is why we repeat in every prayer:

الحمدلله رب العالمين

All-Praise is due to God, the Lord of the Worlds

The importance of this Name is that Allah (swt) teaches us not to be attached simply to His blessings, but to His essence. Yes, He gives us, and we thank and praise Him for what He gives. But when we think of al-Hameed, it ceases to be solely about the blessing. We are reminded of His inherent attributes, of al-Hameed Himself, and thus we praise Him when things are good or seemingly bad, because they all come from Him. When we realize that good came out of the calamity we were facing, or on the Day of Judgment when we see how we are rewarded not only for our gratitude for the good but for our patience with the hardships, do we embody the spirit of praise, and say wholeheartedly: al-hamduliLah!

And thus His Name: the Praiseworthy, the Praised.

The Prophet ﷺ and Praising Allah
The Prophet ﷺ (peace be upon him) praised Allah throughout his life, whether he was in hardship or receiving many beautiful gifts from Allah. In a famous hadith (narration), Aisha, radi Allahu `anha (may God be pleased with her), saw the Prophet ﷺ praying for so long that his feet became swollen. So she asked him:

“O Messenger of Allah, why do you undergo so much hardship despite the fact that Allah has pardoned for you your earlier and later sins?”

He ﷺ responded: “Afala akuna abdan shakura? – Should I not be a thankful servant?” (Bukhari)

And what did the Prophet ﷺ say as he was praying in the night? Ibn `Abbas relates that the Prophet ﷺ used to say when he stood for the tahajjud (late night) prayer:
“O Allah! Yours is the praise. You are the sustainer of the heavens and the Earth and all that they contain. And Yours is the praise. Yours is the dominion of the heavens and the Earth and all that they contain. And Yours is the praise. You are the light of the heavens and the Earth and all that they contain. And Yours is the praise. You are the king of the heavens and the Earth. And Yours is the praise. You are the Truth. Your promise is true. The meeting with You is true. Your word is true. Paradise is true and the Fire is true. The prophets are true. Muhammad (peace be upon him) is true. The Hour is true…” (Bukhari, Muslim).

The Prophet ﷺ, throughout his hardships, reflected on the nature of this world. And he saw the majesty of Allah’s attributes in all of creation, and in everything that happened. And with awe, humility and gratitude, he makes that du`a’ we see above from all of His heart.

Paired Names
We know that Allah pairs many of His Names and attributes in the Qur’an. One of the reasons is to show us how these Names relate to each other. Al-Hameed is paired with a few Names in the Qur’an: al-Ghani, al-Wali, al-Majeed, and al-Hakeem.

1—Allah says: “O mankind, you are those in need of Allah, while Allah is the Free of need (al-Ghani), the Praiseworthy (al-Hameed),” (Qur’an, 35:15).

If a human being is seen as self-sufficient, that usually causes him to withdraw from people. Since this person does not need people, he may not see any reason to help or to give or to be nice—and he is certainly not perfect in his essence. But truly glory is that Allah (swt) does not need anyone, yet He still gives people, and acts with ultimate wisdom, and is praised.
2—”And it is He who sends down the rain after they had despaired and spreads His mercy. And He is the Protective Friend (al-Wali), the Praiseworthy (al-Hameed),” (Qur’an, 42:48).

You might assign someone to be your lawyer, entrusting him to protect you. But if this lawyer is careless, and loses your case, he would not be praised, neither for his action nor for his essence. But when Allah is your Wali, you cannot help but praise Allah, who defends and protects His intimate friends.
3—”They said, “Are you amazed at the decree of Allah? May the mercy of Allah and His blessings be upon you, people of the house. Indeed, He is Praiseworthy (al-Hameed) and Honorable (al-Majeed),” (Qur’an, 11:73).

Al-Majeed, according to al-Ghazali, is “one who is noble in essence, beautiful in actions, and bountiful in gifts and in favors.” Thus while Allah is the Lord and commands that come from Him do not need to be explained, out of His nobility and bounty He explains many things in the Qur’an. So He is praised for that.
4- “Falsehood cannot approach it from before it or from behind it; [it is] a revelation from a [Lord who is] Wise (Hakeem) and Praiseworthy (Hameed)” (Qur’an, 41:42).

Here Allah (swt) is pointing out to us that if we reflected on His decree, we would praise Him for His wisdom. Because while Allah does as He pleases, He is also the Most-Wise and thus there is always the best wisdom behind His actions.
Connecting to Al-Hameed

• Praise Allah through the good and the bad

The Prophet ﷺ tells us that “AlhamduliLah fills the scales,” (Muslim). One way of retaining blessings is thanking and praising Allah (swt) for them. And through the bad, we should remember that ultimately whatever occurs is out of Allah’s wisdom, He is both Hakeem (all-Wise) and Hameed (Praiseworthy), and therefore we should remember to humble ourselves and praise Him.

• Write down Allah’s Name al-Hameed and then write down all of Allah’s blessings upon you

We know the verse in the Qur’an where Allah states: “And if you should count the favor of Allah, you could not enumerate them. Indeed, mankind is [generally] most unjust and ungrateful” (Qur’an, 14:34).

Interestingly, Allah uses the word “favor”—ni`ma—in the singular, as though saying: even trying to enumerate the blessings of one single favor is impossible! To reflect deeply upon just one favor, and to ponder over its impacts, can fill us with so much awe for al-Hameed.

• Speak well to people

Allah says in the Qur’an, “And they had been guided [in worldly life] to good speech, and they were guided to the path of the Praiseworthy (Al-Hameed)” (Qur’an, 22:24).

In a beautiful reflection, Sheikh Ratib an-Nabulsi says that it is as though the path to Allah al-Hameed is through good speech, as Allah also says: “[…] And speak to people good [words][…]” (Qur’an, 2:83).

A beautiful hadith of the Prophet ﷺ states that: “A person’s faith is not upright until his heart is upright, and his heart will not be upright until his tongue is upright” (Ahmad).

• Praise Allah by using His gifts in His service

The highest form of praise is to use those gifts He has bestowed upon us in His service and therefore in good. But do not be like those who Allah says about them:

“And whoever exchanges the favor of Allah [for disbelief] after it has come to him – then indeed, Allah is severe in penalty,” (Qur’an, 2:211).

Belief is a blessing, but this can apply to other favors as well. If we use those gifts in ways that are unbecoming, then this is the opposite of hamd. The result is that our favors could be taken away, or perhaps worse, we cannot find the joy or sweetness in those favors. If we look at the story of Qarun in the Qur’an, he was given many blessings. He was from the people of Moses `alayhi as-salaam (peace be upon him). And Allah says, “We gave him of treasures whose keys would burden a band of strong men…” (Qur’an, 28:76). Yet Qarun tyrannized his own people, and had the gall to say, “I was only given it because of knowledge I have.” He did not attribute His gifts to Allah AND he used them for corruption. And what was the result?
“And We caused the earth to swallow him and his home. And there was for him no company to aid him other than Allah, nor was he of those who [could] defend themselves” (Qur’an, 28:81).

May Allah protect us.

“Indeed, those who have believed and done righteous deeds – their Lord will guide them because of their faith. Beneath them rivers will flow in the Gardens of Pleasure. Their call therein will be, ‘Exalted are You, O Allah,’ and their greeting therein will be, ‘Peace.’ And the last of their call will be, ‘Praise to Allah, Lord of the worlds!’” (Qur’an, 10:9-10)

Photo: midnightrook

By Anonymous

Every morning I wake up and wish I hadn’t.

The months, weeks and days pass with me wishing it’ll be the last, and yet there’s no end.

At nighttime I cry faintly into my pillow with tears streaming down my cheeks. I whimper in pain, attempting to suppress the sounds that leave my room; I don’t want my family to hear.

I whisper, “Oh Allah, I don’t want to live anymore. Oh Allah, please, I don’t want to live anymore.”

I feel broken. I feel alone. I feel empty inside. I am in pain and numb at the same time. Perhaps my pain is so much now that I can no longer distinguish it. It is a physical pain—a weight on my chest crushing my existence, crushing my hopes and dreams.

I pray five times a day, I make du`a’ (supplications), I say astaghfirullah (I ask forgiveness from Allah) throughout the day and read as much Qur’an as I can. But it’s hard. I have no motivation to keep going. I don’t know what I’m moving towards. My goals and hopes have all slowly faded away.

I am a façade of who I once was. I constantly lie about how I feel. I must keep up appearances. I smile and laugh when I must. I have to maintain relationships, or else the loneliness will only get worse. I would rather be in this dungeon that I’m in, alone; but my mind knows that the loneliness will only make it worse. I don’t want to unload the hurt I feel onto others. So, I fake a smile and try to converse with family and friends. It is tiring, but I do it. It is a part of living and for now I must live.

I don’t want to be a burden and I don’t want others to pity me.

I don’t pity myself. I am not ungrateful. I am thankful. I am thankful for all the blessings Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He) has bestowed upon me. I do not complain to others. I try to complain only to Allah (swt). Yaqub `alayhi assalam (peace be upon him) endured the pain of being separated from his beloved Yusuf (as) for many years. Maryam (as) lay beneath a palm tree while in the throes of labor, wishing Allah (swt) had taken her life and spared her from those moments of despair. Musa (as), a fugitive from the land of Pharaoh, found himself without family, wealth, or possessions—he had nothing. Poor and desperate, all he was able to cry was “My Lord, I am in need of any good that you send me.”

So I complain to Allah (swt) of the pain and sadness I cannot explain. I keep asking, most times not knowing what to say. Just hoping and praying and wishing for salvation from this suffering.

I don’t know how to explain depression. How do I explain it to family and friends? I heard someone once describe depression as an ever-lingering constant sadness, even when everything in your life is going well.

It is a total loss of pleasure.

Nothing gives me pleasure anymore.

I’m so tired, yet no amount of sleep nourishes me. Eating has become work. Brushing my teeth, answering phone calls, replying to emails; simply existing has become tiresome. I know my pain is not physical to others, but my pain is real. I feel it in every moment. When I sleep, when I eat, when I laugh, when I cry, when I speak. My pain is hidden beneath it all.

No one wishes to be around someone filled with such overwhelming sadness and gloom. No one wants to hear how my mind aches every day, that I have given up my hopes and dreams or that I wish Allah (swt) would take my life quickly and subtly. My heart hurts every day. I wish I could take a hold of the heart within me, and sever it from my being. Maybe then I wouldn’t feel like this. Maybe then I wouldn’t feel dead inside.

I think of death all the time. It plays in the background now. I have never understood suicide. But now I do. I wonder about taking my life. Maybe overdose on my medications. But there’s never enough to overdose on. Psychiatrists know suicide is always an option for the depressed, so they are careful when they medicate. When I am driving, I imagine what would happen if I made a slight abrupt turn into a tree. But maybe I wouldn’t die. Maybe I would find myself paralyzed and that would be a worse existence, for then I’d still be alive, but now a physical burden to my family. But the truth is, I am still too scared of Allah (swt) and the Hellfire to ever commit such a sin. I know suicide is not an option. Faith has limited me to only entertaining such an end, but never to commit to it.

I would never wish what I feel upon another human being. I have no energy or zest for life, and no one cares. The two or three people that know cannot empathize. They only offer support when I reach out to them, but I don’t want to be a burden. Can’t they reach out to me? Can’t they ask how I’m doing? Can’t they tell when I say, “Alhamdulillah (all praise be to Allah), I’m okay,” that I’m not okay? Can’t they put themselves in my shoes? I so desperately want someone to save me, yet I know only I can save myself. I can use the help of medication, of faith, of family, of friends, but only I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and hope to reach it one day.

But I could use some help.

People say: “Don’t worry, trust Allah.” “This is just a phase. You’ll get over this.” “Be thankful for your life. You’re not dying.”

But I feel like I am, why can’t they understand?

They may think depression is a first-world problem. Maybe it is; maybe not. I thought depression was something the weak-spirited suffered. I thought Allah (swt) was enough. I thought medications were simply a bandage. But I’ve realized, unfortunately too personally, that depression is not black and white. It is not something that one can wish away. It is a battle that only the strongest of will win. I know it will take me every fiber of my being to kill this silent lurking monster.

Even though no one sees the emotional pain and mental agony of depression; I am here to tell you, it is real. Whether it’s due to the loss of a loved one, a divorce, a bad test score or absolutely nothing you can put your finger on—it is real. And you cannot let it get worse. Whether you are the one suffering or someone around you is. We must notice the person who isn’t as cheery as they once were. We must notice the drastic behavior changes in the person we once knew. Notice physical changes: weight loss, weight gain, dark circles, lethargy, unexplained headaches, missed school days and work days.

Please, help someone around you who is suffering. Maybe they are suffering for unknown reasons; maybe it doesn’t make sense to you. Maybe they have been depressed for a couple of days or maybe they have been depressed for months. Whatever the case, if you can help- help.

We need to be there for our sister, our brother, our friend, our coworker, our daughter, our son, our student, our neighbor who is suffering. We need to help them. We must not let it get worse. We must not let them fall into an abyss of complete despair.

We must be forgiving for the missed phone calls and the broken promises and the little changes that make us question our relationship. Be forgiving. Be empathetic. Understand that in the fog of depression, human beings make bad decisions, say things they wish they hadn’t and do things they never would. The regret kills them from within. They are miserable, and they don’t know how to tell anyone. The smile they force hides a world of pain and despair. Notice the fake smile and the blank stares and ask, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just tired.” “Oh, I think I’m getting sick.” “Just a little stressed.” Don’t let these answers distract you. Say: “I’m here for you. If you’re going through anything at all, you can talk to me. Don’t forget that.”

Know that depression lies to the sufferer. It tells them: “You are worthless. The world would be better without you. You are a burden to your family. You are not smart enough. You are not religious enough. You are not beautiful/ handsome enough. You will never reach your goals. You are nothing and you are all alone.” This loneliness consumes the individual, completely paralyzing them.

Tell them they are not alone. Keep texting, keep calling, keep emailing. Just be there. Don’t let their indifference, or their excuses dissuade you. So many are suffering silently because they believe no one cares. But keep trying. It will make a difference. It will make all the difference. Everyone notices a broken leg but no one notices a broken spirit. Don’t be the person that lets months go by while a friend or an acquaintance falls deeper and deeper into his/ her depression.

And once they’ve revealed their “secret”, don’t leave them. Don’t forget them. Don’t let weeks pass by without checking up on them. And when you do reach out, don’t simply say: “It’s going to be okay. Just perk up. Be thankful. Don’t just sit around all day. Get out of bed. Call me whenever you need.” Though well-intentioned, this is not enough. Being there for a person who is depressed is mentally and emotionally draining. They will not call you. They will not be the first to reach out. They do not want to be a burden to you.

I do not want to be a burden to my family and friends. So I will not call and I may not reply until the third text. I know it’s selfish, but that’s what I need now. And I do not want someone to tell me to be thankful. I am already thankful. I pray to Allah (swt) every day, and spend hours thanking Him for what He has given me, in tears. And I ask Him to forgive me for feeling how I feel. I tell Him how hurt I am and how ungrateful I feel. I ask Him why I feel like this. I ask Him to help me. I know I can’t ask Him to take my life, so I ask Him what I’m allowed to: “Grant me life as long as it is good for me, and grant me death when it is better for me.” Always hoping the latter is what is better.

If we want to be pillars of support for those who are suffering, it will require effort. Over and over and over again.

I am writing this having suffered this overwhelming illness for about more than a year. I am okay today, so I am able to write this. Yesterday I was a mess, inconsolably crying filled with anxiety and despair. I am writing this because I want to tell you how I feel. And I want anyone suffering like me to know that there are others that are observant, struggling Muslims and that they feel the way you are feeling. And that you should see a psychiatrist, that you can take medication if that’s what you need right now, and that it is okay to tell the people who you love. And finally, always remember- even when people disappoint you, Allah (swt) will never. He is always there and He will always be there for you. If He has kept you breathing, He has a purpose for you, insha`Allah (by the will of God).

“…And whoever is mindful of Allah, He will make for him a way out. And will provide for him from an unexpected source. And when someone puts all his trust in Allah, He will be enough for him.” [Qur’an, 65:2-3]

May Allah (swt) cure you all of your illnesses, your distresses, your pains and grant you the best of healing. Ameen.

An excellent video to better understand depression:

Surat Luqman, Qur’an 31: Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V

The next part of the ayah (verse) continues with أَنِ اشْكُرْ‌ لِلَّـهِ .  The word أن (an that/to) is called أن تفسيرية (an tafsireeyyah). That means that there is something going on that is not stated in the verse, but it is understood by someone who is strong in the language. The implied meaning is:

وَلَقَدْ آتَيْنَا لُقْمَانَ الْحِكْمَةَ …حين جعلناه شاكرا لله

“Indeed We gave Luqman wisdom when We made him grateful to Allah.”

And the reason the word أن is called أن تفسيرية (an tafsireeyyah) is because it is talking about the inner state of Luqman, not the outer state. Some scholars said this means Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He) commanded him by saying, “Be grateful to Allah.” However, most scholars said that the meaning is as we mentioned previously, since Allah (swt) knows the inner qualities of people. That is why in Islam we are not allowed to judge anyone’s intention. We are forbidden to do so because Allah (swt) is the only One who knows the intention.

The phrase أن اشكر لله also means, “We made him,” that is, Allah (swt) guided him, “to be شاكر  shaakir (grateful/thankful) to Allah.” The word شكر shukr (gratefulness/thankfulness) is only used when someone recognizes a favor. This is different than الحمد al-hamd. Al-hamd is used to describe something that is deserving of hamd (praise). This is why we say الحمد لله alhamdullilah (praise belongs to God). The Prophet ﷺ (peace be upon him) said: “الحمد رأس الشكر  Al-hamd (praise) is the head of giving thanks.” So hamd is praise and shukr is thanks. That is why when someone does something good to you, in Arabic you respond with shukran.

So here Allah (swt) says that Luqman is shaakir (grateful). The scholars explain that this shows the first stage of being a good servant of Allah (swt) is inner shukr. Being thankful to Him and feeling in your heart that thankfulness to Allah (swt).  The scholars explain this is because:

1. Being thankful to Allah (swt) means that one recognizes that all favors come from Allah (swt). That recognition is indicative of Allah (swt)’s existence. They recognize that He is the Master of all things.
2. Being thankful indicates that one’s belief in qadr (predestination determined by Allah) is strong.

Next, Allah (swt) says, “We gave him hikmah (wisdom).” This statement can have two meanings: the first meaning we already spoke of. The second meaning is that because he was grateful to Allah (swt), Allah (swt) gave him wisdom. As Allah (swt) says in the Qur’an:

“If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor]…” (14:7).

The second meaning could be, “We bestowed upon him wisdom because he was thankful to us.” So for any student of knowledge who wants to increase knowledge, then besides studying he/she should make sure to be shaakir to Allah (swt). We ask Allah (swt) to make us from those who are grateful.

Then Allah (swt) says, “And whoever is grateful is grateful for [the benefit of] himself.” This is because Allah (swt) is not in need of our thanks. The ayah continues, “And whoever denies [His favor] – then indeed, Allah is Free of need and Praiseworthy,” (Qur’an, 14:8).

It is interesting to note that in the ayah the word يشكر  yashkur (to be grateful) is in the present-future tense, what is called المضارع  almudaariu. This present-future tense is used to show استمرار istimrar, consistency. When it is used, it brings with it the meaning of consistency. Sometimes we lose these things in translation. There is something beautiful here that we should notice. As Imam Ar-Raazi (may God have mercy on him) mentioned, when Allah (swt) talked about gratefulness He used the present-future tense. But when He talks about kufr (disbelief) He used the past tense: كفر kafara. The scholars noticed that when Allah (swt) speaks about the good qualities, He does so in the present-future tense. As if, Ar-Raazi says, Allah (swt) is telling you that you’re doing well, and you should stay this way. If you are grateful to Allah (swt) then continue being grateful.

But, on the other hand, Allah (swt) is not pleased that His servants are disbelievers. Allah (swt) uses the past tense when speaking of disbelief (although because it’s a شرط conditional statement it has to be in this form, but we don’t want to get into the grammar too much). Using the past tense is indicative of Allah (swt) saying, “If you are doing kufr stop immediately.” Once you realize that you are a disbeliever, and you realize that you believe in something other than Allah (swt), the Creator, then you should cut this away as fast as you can.  So Allah (swt) refers to it in the past tense as though you should leave it in the past.

Also, here كفر kafara is used as the opposite of شكر shukr. So instead of being grateful, one has rejected the favors of Allah (swt).

Now I have a question for you. Sometimes in the Qur’an we see similar wording, but the phrases are reversed. For example, in Surah Room, Allah (swt) says:

“Whoever disbelieves – upon him is [the consequence of] his disbelief. And whoever does righteousness – they are for themselves preparing,” (Qur’an, 30:44).

Why is it that in Surah Luqman Allah (swt) mentions thanks first, and then disbelief, but in other places of the Qur’an, Allah (swt) mentions disbelief first and then thanks?

Because here, Allah (swt) is speaking to us about the story of Luqman’s advice to his son, and Allah (swt) is praising the qualities of Luqman. Thus Allah (swt) is using this as an encouragement for the people who are grateful to Allah (swt) to continue to be thankful o Him. On the other hand, in the verse in Surah Room, Allah (swt) is commanding that we should turn towards the correct religion before a grievous day comes (i.e. the Day of Judgment), and then He mentions those who disbelieve versus those who are grateful. In Surah Room the order is reversed as a form of ترهيب tarheeb, to scare people and to wake up those people who are disbelievers.

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So should I be thankful for the good clothes I wear or the Gucci bag I carry? Maybe the good food I can eat? Oh wait, what about the opportunity to study at a reputable university or being employed at a good company? Hey, did I mention my caring and wonderful parents or my cool siblings who are my best friends? Hold on, I completely forgot about the blessing of Islam in my life; How Allah guided my heart to His path! AlhamdulilLah (praise be to God).

Tired of counting already?!

No wonder Allah said in the Qur’an that if we were to count the favors of Allah, we will not do justice to even one favor! (14:34)

Yes, we are all struggling with something and I feel ya, my brother/sister in Islam. Maybe it’s been months and you are still looking for a decent job. Maybe you are a single brother/sister struggling to fight off temptations while there seems to be no progress in the ‘marriage’ part of your life and you are tired of searching for that ‘right’ person. Maybe you have been trying for years and still with no success in conceiving a baby. It could be anything. Anything that makes you feel that sense of unhappiness and dissatisfaction. A gap between what you desire to happen and what is happening in reality. And I feel your pain and I will never underestimate it.

But brothers and sisters, I request you all to take concrete steps to change your situation. Do something about it right now! You know how?

“…If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor]…” (Qur’an, 14:7)

Here’s how:

• Shift your focus.
• Pay attention to the wonderful things you have, as opposed to what you don’t have.

Believe me, you will get lost in the counting of those blessings even if you’re a math expert!

And then, when you genuinely appreciate the blessings you enjoy and, in turn, appreciate how Merciful He, your Lord, has always been to you, He will do as promised inshaAllah (God willing); He will increase you in various ways in life. Trust me, with a positive and grateful mindset, you will feel His barakah (blessing) in your life constantly and that will make you a much happier human being. You will enjoy the days and nights of this fleeting life that doesn’t want to slow down! You will kick away depression from your life and make way for activism and energy!

And most importantly, you will be able to remember your Lord consistently and His consciousness will become ingrained in your lifestyle inshaAllah. What a wonderful way to worship the One to whom we owe everything!

But then you might be thinking “how” exactly do I show this gratitude? Is it just repeating “thank you God” every time I buy a Louis Vuitton bag?

That too and maybe something more. The best way to be grateful for Allah’s favors is to use them for things that make Him happy.

So you’re good in accounting? Help someone to do their homework. You love writing? Use your beautiful words to inspire people to Allah’s deen (religion). Maybe Allah blessed you with wealth so you can buy all the good stuff alhamdulilLah. Why not buy something nice and gift it to a poor person once in a while? And you can be as creative as you want! The list is endless. But you get the point inshaAllah.

Come on fellas. It’s time to be positive. It’s time to be grateful. It’s time to act.

And always remember this motto no matter what you go through in life:

“An attitude of gratitude is what is truly needed!” – Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan

Stay blessed.

By Abid Mohammed 

Being grateful is something that we all know is a virtuous quality. Lecture after lecture has been delivered on the subject of “showing thanks to God for His favors.” Articles have been written to encourage us to “recognize His blessings,” and “be grateful for what God has given us.” We are continuously reminded of how little appreciation we show for the fact that many of us have food on our table, a roof over our heads and relative peace and security in our lives. This discussion almost always takes place in the context of experiencing trials and tribulations, and I couldn’t agree more. There is a lot of room for improvement for many of us when it comes to gratitude. When the going gets tough, we should strive to avoid going towards ingratitude.

Yet, part of me always has always wondered—is gratitude an emotion to be experienced exclusively during times of hardship? And what are many of us actually grateful for? The gifts or the Giver? These may seem like easy questions to answer, but the next time you come across “gratitude,” be it as a topic of a discussion or an emotion you experience, I want you to pay close attention to the circumstances in which it arises and where exactly your heart lies. Does your heart only show thanks when it is pushed against the wall? And even then, does it only find happiness and peace intrinsically in the gifts of this world (albeit with some acknowledgement that God is the Giver), like a child who loses their favorite Buzz Lightyear toy, only to be consoled by the fact that he still has his awesome Optimus Prime helmet that his dad gave him for ‘Eid last year? Or does your heart delight in the fact that it can use those very gifts to draw nearer to Him and that the gifts, themselves, are meaningless?

In his Ihya `Ulum Al-Din (The Revival of the Religious Sciences), Imam Al-Ghazali draws a beautiful analogy in trying to show the different form of gratitude that people express:

“Let us give an example. We say that a king who desires to make a journey grants a man in his entourage a favor in the form of a horse. He imagines that the man to whom it is granted will be delighted with the horse for three reasons. Firstly, he will be delighted because it is a horse and because it has monetary value which can be of benefit to him; because he can use it for riding and that suits his purpose; and because it is a valuable racer as well. This kind of joy is for one who has no interest in the king, his interest is only in the horse. Had he found the horse in a desert, he would have taken it and his joy would have been similar to this joy.

“The second kind of joy is when he delights in it, not because it is a horse, but because he infers the care of the king expressed in it, and his [the king’s] compassion for him. Had he found the horse in the desert, or someone other than the king had given it to him, he would not really be happy with it because, in principle, he has no need of the horse and it is of no significance to him compared to his desire to have a place in the heart of the king.

“The third kind of joy is when the servant delights in the horse in order to ride it, to go out in the service of the king and bear the toil of the journey in his service and to obtain the rank of nearness to the king. Perhaps he will be promoted to the position of a minister, because he is not content that his position in the heart of the king should be limited to his [the king’s] giving him a horse and caring for him only to this degree. Rather he does not want the king to convey the [favors] from his wealth on anyone. Except through him. Yet, he does not want the ministry for the sake of the ministry, rather he wants to see the king and be near him. If he had to choose between this proximity to him without the ministry and the ministry without proximity, he would choose proximity.

“These are the three levels [of joy]. In the first, there is no thankfulness at all because the vision of the one possessing it [this level of joy] is confined to the horse and his joy lies in the horse, not in the one who gave it. This is the state of all those who are made happy by a blessing because of the pleasure of it and because it is agreeable to their purpose. This is far from the meaning of thankfulness. The second [kind] enters the definition of thankfulness in that the person delights in the giver but not exactly because of him [the giver], rather, because of the knowledge of his care; this incites [the person] to seek favor in the future. This is the state of the righteous, who worship God and are thankful to Him for fear of His punishment and hope for His reward.

“Perfect thankfulness is found only in the third kind of joy. It is when the joy of the servant in the blessing of God (exalted is He) is because it enables him to reach a place of proximity to Him (exalted is He), to reside in His companionship, and enjoy the vision of His countenance continually! This is the highest level [of attainment]. Its characteristic is joy in this world only for what it is, a field under cultivation for the Hereafter and the means to assist him to it. He grieves at every blessing that diverts him from the remembrance of God (exalted is He) and turns him away from His path. He does not desire the blessing because it is pleasurable, just as the possessor of the horse does not desire the horse because it is a racer or an ambler, but because it carries him in company with the king, that he may continue to see the king and be near him.

“Thus Shibli (may God grant him mercy) said, ‘Thankfulness is the vision of the Bestower, not the vision of the blessing.'” ((Littlejohn HT. Al-Ghazali on Patience and Thankfulness. 1st ed. Cambridge, UK: Islamic Texts Society; 2011. p. 73-75))

May God enable us to show continuous gratitude towards Him, as best as we can, so that He will give us even more (Quran, 14:7), and so that we can use that more to draw nearer to Him. May He enable us to be amongst the “few” who are “thankful” (Qur’an, 34:13) and may He protect us from being amongst “most human beings” who “do not give thanks” (Qur’an, 2:243) and the terrible punishment that they face (Quran, 14:7).

When recognizing His gifts, may He empower us to say, as Sulaiman (`alayhi assalam, peace be upon him) said, “…This is from the favor of my Lord to test me whether I will be grateful or ungrateful. And whoever is grateful – his gratitude is only for [the benefit of] himself. And whoever is ungrateful – then indeed, my Lord is Free of need and Generous,”(Qur’an, 27:40).

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I would often find myself worrying about things and draining my energy. Yes, it would lead me to prayers, but also depression. When prayer leads you to depression, it means that you are doing something wrong. Prayer is hope. Prayer is faith. Prayer is uplifting. Prayer is not constant worry.

I learned this after moving to this new city. The first couple of weeks were great, but right after that, my husband would come home upset. We had relocated, thinking that he had found the perfect job. However, in a couple of weeks, we were devastated. He began hating his job. He complained about his boss. He did not like the work. But here we were, and still are, bound by a long-term contract with the company.

He would text me from work to tell me how much he despised his job. He would come home stressed. Our happiness, our dreams, our tranquility in life had disappeared. Being the only person he could open up to, I felt helpless. I would cry for hours on my prayer mat. I did not know how I could help him. The kids were sensing our worries. It was difficult.

I prayed constantly for ease. I prayed and prayed. That is all I did. I would ignore my kids, I would ignore my house, I would ignore my chores, and prayed. This led me to constantly be thinking about the problem:

Prayer was leading me to worry.

One night, it occurred to me, prayer should not lead me to worry. Prayer means putting your trust in God, subhanahu wa ta’ala (exalted is He). Prayer means asking for goodness. Maybe there is goodness in this difficulty that we cannot see. I have to stop worrying about that over which I have no control. I should work on that over which I have control.

So, I changed my approach to prayers. I offered my five prayers, and even some optional ones, but instead of worrying constantly, I began thanking God (swt) for His blessings. I would pray for ease, but with the knowledge that there must be ease in this struggle. God (swt) is great. His wisdom, His sight, His reasons are beyond the human capability to grasp.

With my thankful attitude, I began to cheer the house up. I focused my energy on my kids. I started to learn how to make applications for Android. I started to cook regularly. I would feed my kids before my husband would come home tired, so he could have a quiet dinner to recollect his thoughts. I began to pour my heart out to God (swt) early in the morning, before the sunrise. I found my peace. Thanks to the Almighty (swt).

Peace comes from inside, not outside. Peace comes from working within your circle of influence. My husband is still unhappy at work. He still comes home upset. But I have found the way to charge my energy and be his support. I am embracing the experience, for God (swt) must have a reason that is beyond my wisdom.

اللهُمَّ لا سَهْلَ إلا مَا جَعَلتَهُ سَهْلا وَ أنتَ تَجْعَلُ الحزْنَ إذا شِئْتَ سَهْلا

Allahumma la sahla illa ma ja`altahu sahla wa anta taj`al ul-hazna idha shi’ta sahla.

“O Allah! There is nothing easy except that which You make easy; and You make the difficult, if You wish, easy.” ((Ibn Hibban in his Sahih (no. 2427) and Ibn As-Sunni (no. 351). Al-Hafidh (Ibn Hajar) said that this hadith is authentic. It was also declared authentic by Abdul-Qadir Al-Arna’ut in his checking of An-Nawawi’s Kitabul-Athkar p. 106.))

May God (swt) continue to strengthen our souls and ease our difficulties.  Ameen!