By Rubab Shahid

To some, happiness is parallel to success and achievement. The satisfaction you feel when completing a difficult task, or when you accomplish a goal you had been striving to attain for a long time. Others will equate happiness with love, emotions of care and affection. Yet others believe happiness is escaping a difficult situation. These are all occasions of joy, as they should be. However, there is another type of happiness that all of us yearn for: the happiness that comes with finality, an ultimate satisfaction.

All of the types of happiness and the search that precedes them are in fact the hunt for something deeper; when we say we wish to be happy, what we mean is that we wish to be content. Content with who we are, what we look like, with our ways of speaking, our friends and our reputation.

Often, in trying to attain these things, we run after things that soon lose their value or perform acts we later regret. When our goals and desires clash with whatever life has in store for us we get depressed, feeling like the happiness we yearn for is just an illusion, like everything we do ends up going wrong anyway. When everything looks like it is just going to be messed up and the current will always be against us, giving up looks like the easiest way out. When everyone’s expectations seem like too much, we often decide to let all of it go. It’s the reason people turn to drugs—to numb the pain they have suffered, whether self-inflicted or inflicted by others. More than marijuana or cocaine, self-pity is the most addicting of narcotics. Self-pity arises when we believe that our problems exist because we have some innate problem, that we are not good enough, or that there is something wrong with who we are. That nature and nurture together just made us messed up people. It is easy to believe that you were just destined to be a failure. It is definitely easier than taking responsibility and hundreds of times easier than being an instrument of change.

But the truth is that God does not create failures. The same hand that created you created the masterful system of the universe that is ever bound in scientific law, where nothing is random, where everything has a purpose. Maybe you are angry with Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He) because you believe that He made life hard for you and that He caused you to suffer so much. A lot of the time the painful things that occur are not immediately due to our own mistakes (or so we believe), so the first person we blame is Him.

Everyone has events happen in their life that hurt. Deaths, abuse, poverty, depression, to name but a few. And it is hard. It’s so hard to have hope sometimes, and we find ourselves fighting to stay positive. Sometimes, maybe most of the time, we feel abandoned, alone, and neglected. We feel like nobody cares or ever will. It exhausts us to be so angry and hateful, but the pain does not end, always threatening to drag us under. That black hole will always exist unless we find a way to drag ourselves out. But we can never do it alone.

I don’t know how you see predestination, but to me, it means that certain events have specifically been targeted to time periods in our life, whether difficult or joyful. All these events have been specially packaged for us for three reasons, all of which are intended for our benefit.

Firstly, they are manifestations of the truth that life is a test. In a test you must face problems and obstacles that you must overcome, and the bigger the reward the harder the test. The test separates the strong from the weak, and allows you to show what you are made of. Through the way we react to the tests He sends our way, Allah (swt) sorts us into successes and failures (like a Teacher, silently). Remember, Allah was the One who made the obstacle; but it is your choice whether you sit and cry and feel sorry for yourself, or stand up and take benefit from the situation. As the most Merciful, Allah (swt) has written your test because He knows you have the ability to pass it. Will you utilize your abilities or let them go to waste inside of you? Would you let down both God and yourself?

Secondly, bad things happen to us to save us from worse things. For example, a man wants to go visit his mother on Eid day, and she lives very far away. So he books a plane ticket and puts his ticket in his pants pocket, then goes to bed. The next morning he wakes up, puts on his pants and drives to the airport. When he arrives, extremely excited, he is told to take out his ticket. He reaches into his pocket and suddenly realizes his pocket is empty. It turns out that he wore the wrong pair of pants. If he goes back home now, he will miss his flight.

Now he could sit down and either start blaming himself or blaming God for his misfortune. He goes home thinking that God is unfair. He wanted to go help his mom; was that not a good deed? The next morning, he finds that the plane he would have been on crashed halfway to its destination.

Often it is not so obvious, but the principle is the same. Just because we fail to realize something does not mean that it is not the case. Allah (swt) sees everything with a bird’s eye view, while we only see the things that are directly in front of us. Try thinking back on things that happen to you and make a habit of being hopeful. Being positive does not change what is happening, but it makes you a stronger and happier person. Do not forget to be patient, too, because often things only reveal themselves at the end of the story.

The third reason bad things happen is sort of an extension of the first, but also my favorite, and the one that gives me most hope. Allah (swt) puts us in hard situations so that we turn back to Him; we are wandering around earth, trying to plunge ourselves headfirst into hellfire by our actions and open disobedience, and He takes pity on us. How is that pity manifested, you might ask?

It is human instinct to turn to a higher power when we are in distress, hence the saying, “There are no atheists in a foxhole.” We ignore God in our everyday lives, stubbornly believing everything we have is a result of our own intelligence. But then we blame all misfortunes on Allah (swt), which is quite unfair. The most tranquil way of life lies in the obedience of Allah (swt), and that is not a statement based on blind faith. The manufacturer of a product best knows how it should operate. We humans—ingenious creations with a system unparalleled by any technology just under the flesh of our skin—also have a manufacturer, who sent us an instructor, Rasul Allah [the Messenger of God] ﷺ (peace be upon him) with an instruction manual, the Noble Qur’an. The Qur’an is not just an instruction manual but letters from Allah to us with the solution to every problem, the cure for every disease, the light for every darkness. It is through hardship that Allah calls us back to what will benefit us the most.

True happiness comes from light—spiritual light that permeates our souls and lights the way through a forest of uncertainty and self-doubt. Perhaps a scripture might comment on the sudden shift from scientific method to abstract concept, and to that person who has paid such close attention, I ask: is happiness a scientific or psychological phenomenon? If you see happiness as nothing but the release of hormones into the bloodstream, see humans as machines playing a part in a gruesome play for no purpose, then it will be true that happiness is unattainable. But those who are willing to reach for hope and not just give up due to prejudice or laziness will find it with Allah, without a single shred of doubt.

All you have to do to begin is Read.

Originally published October 2013.

*Update* Disclaimer: This article does not deal with clinical depression. While some of the steps can be used as prevention, clinical depression is a mental illness that should be addressed by a trained professional. Any general references to ‘depression’ in the article refer to depression in regular parlance, and not as a medical term.

I was recently asked to give a talk entitled, “The Pursuit of Happiness.” I had a lot to say about the topic, and unfortunately was not able to deliver all of it. This topic is really important in general, but especially in this day and age where we find many people suffering from depression/melancholy at some point in their life.

What is Happiness?

Most Americans are familiar with the phrase “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness”—rights enshrined in the U.S. Declaration of Independence. But in order to talk about the pursuit of happiness, we need to know what happiness is.

It turns out that happiness is a little hard to define. We all know what it is, and we know when we are happy, but it is difficult to put into words because it is so experiential. It is one of these things that is an end in and of itself; people want things in order to be happy, whether it is wealth, health, or a dream we want to achieve. Wikipedia’s definition states that “Happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being characterized by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.” Psychologist Ed Diener, author of Happiness: Unlocking the Mysteries of Psychological Wealth, describes it as a combination of life satisfaction and having more positive emotions than negative emotions.

Most of us would think that we would be “happy” if we were able to obtain some life achievement, or that our happiness would disappear if we lost our home in a fire (God forbid). But psychologists have found that after some period of adjustment, we actually go back to our previous level of happiness, no matter what happens to us. So happiness is a state that we can cultivate that does not have to be permanently affected by the things that happen to us externally. The more we work on our happiness, the easier it is to come back to it after times of hardship.

We all know people with very little wealth who appear to be happy, and others who are very wealthy but are very unhappy. While some of it can be genetic, tweaking these external variables does not necessarily permanently change the level of happiness. Therefore, there must be something else.

In an article by the Mayo Clinic, they stated that “only 10 percent or so of the variation in people’s reports of happiness can be explained by differences in their circumstances. It appears that the bulk of what determines happiness is due to personality and — more importantly — thoughts and behaviors that can be changed.”

So we all know that happiness is not simply a giddy feeling that we get now and then. It is something more. Happiness can be described as a general state of contentment, or redha.

Sa’ad bin Abi Waqqas, radi Allahu `anhu  (may God be pleased with him), who is one of the ten Companions promised paradise, said to his son: “If you ask for wealth, then ask for contentment to accompany it. If contentment does not accompany it, then no money will satisfy you.”

The Pursuit of Happiness

There are two types “happinesses”: in Jannah (Paradise) and in this world. Jannah is a happiness that we pursue, it is the permanent happiness, where there is no fear or grief. And insha’Allah (God willing), everything that we do should be geared for that: the pleasure of God and Jannah.
But in this world, I do not believe in the pursuit of happiness. That is not because I do not believe in happiness in this world. It is quite the opposite. I just do not believe in pursuing it, because when we say we are pursuing happiness, we are implying that happiness is something that is outside of us and that it is out of reach, which is why we have to pursue it.

Yet Allah, subhanahu wa ta’ala (exalted is He), has made happiness in this world easier than we think, because He made it something inside of us that is not necessarily dependent on the external. So we can pursue Jannah while being in a state of contentment in this world, or we can pursue it while being depressed—which one would you rather have? Which one will enable you to be more productive?

Question:

Do you think Allah (swt) wants you to be happy in this world?

The answer to this question matters greatly. If you think that you are meant to suffer, then that will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Every bad thing that happens becomes a moment of “Of course I knew this would happen, I have such terrible luck,” as opposed to something we learn from and grow as a result of. If we think Allah (swt) wants us to suffer, then we will only find closeness to Him in pain. This does not mean that we cannot find Allah (swt) in moments of pain – and pain does help to return us to Allah – but we should be able to go to Allah both in times of ease and in hardship. So does He want us to be happy in this world?

Happiness in the Life of a Believer

My argument is that Allah (swt) wants us to be happy in this world—especially when happiness is defined as a general state of contentment. Why do I say this? Our example, the Prophet ﷺ, was a balanced man. His general state was one of contentment. He was described as daa’im al-bushra, meaning he was always optimistic and happy. He was serious when times called for it, and that was to encourage reflection and accountability, and prevent frivolity.

Moreover, we are taught that the best thing to do is make others happy. The Prophet ﷺ said that the most beloved deed to Allah (swt) after the obligatory acts of worship is to bring joy to a fellow Muslim. He also said that what necessitates forgiveness from Allah (swt) is bringing joy to your brother (Tabarani). Finally he taught us that the only reward for bringing joy to an entire household is Paradise (Tabarani). When the Prophet ﷺ found out that a child’s pet bird had died, he went to play with him to make him forgot about his sorrow. If we are all busy making others happy, who is left to be sad?

When people accepted Islam, they would be overjoyed because they felt that Allah (swt) chose them. There is a closeness that comes with that. When we study Allah’s Names, we find that many of them are geared towards giving us some sort of comfort, such as as-Salaam (the Source of Peace), al-Jabbar (He who mends what is broken), al-Lateef (the Subtle and Kind), al-Fattah (the Opener) and others. Allah (swt) comforts the Prophet ﷺ when he was under distress. We are told we will find rest in the remembrance of Allah (swt). The Qur’an is filled with words of hope, which I will expand upon later. The Prophet ﷺ taught us that the affair of the believer is amazing because everything is good for him—when he sees good, he thanks God, and when he faces hardship, he is patient. If life was meant to solely be depressing, why would Allah (swt) give us the antidotes to sadness, despair and fear?

How to Be Happy

I started going through studies and articles written on happiness and what makes people happy. I found that the results were a combination of things, and most articles mentioned gratefulness, optimism, purpose, love, and doing good. All of these help us to reach a general state of happiness or contentment.

Interestingly, all of these are virtues taught to us in the Qur’an and by the Prophet ﷺ:

1. Gratefulness: We are told in the Qur’an: “And if you should count the favors of Allah, you could not enumerate them. Indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful” (Qu’ran, 18:18)[Unknown A1] . Taking a step back and looking at the bigger picture, we can realize that all of the blessings that we have can have a profound effect on our well-being. Instead of focusing on what we do not have, or the negative things that happened to us in a day, we should focus on what we have been given.
2. Optimism: Every notice how some people just have good energy? They tend to be optimistic people that can see the good in situations where others only see negatives. Allah (swt) teaches us how to have this outlook, when He tells us “I am at my servant’s opinion of Me,” (Bukhari). If you think well of Allah, that is what you will find. So Allah is telling us that it is up to us. If we want to imagine a grumpy god that wants wickedness for the world, well, it is our own fault that that is what we see. But Allah (swt) encourages us to think well of Him—He is teaching us the Islamic outlook on life. He teaches us to be optimistic even in times of distress, when He says, “So verily, with the hardship, there is relief. Verily, with the hardship, there is relief,” (Qur’an, 94:5-6). Every hardship comes with at least two reliefs, so focus on the good that Allah (swt) gave you to help overcome the bad. Moreover, we are also reminded “But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not,” (Qur’an, 2:216). Being optimistic means not seeing simply the hardship, but what could be behind the hardship in terms of lessons, and seeing that it could be a good thing.
3. Purpose: What is Islam about if not about defining our purpose? A recent UCLA study showed that the happiness that comes from having a deep sense of meaning and purpose in life can contribute to favorable gene-expression profiles. When you know what you are pursuing, it makes everything worth it. So think: who do you want to be? We all know we were sent worship God, but we also know that besides the basics that we are all required to do (such as prayers, fasting, alms-giving etc), we each are unique in the way that we seek closeness to Him. It could be through starting up an ethical business, dedicating our lives to be an amazing teacher, striving to be a wonderful parent, devoting our time to issues of social justice—anything.

• The best thing is, when you intend something, you will have it if you sincerely work for it even if you never get there. The Prophet ﷺ tells us about two people, one whom God has bestowed with wealth and knowledge, so he is able to spend that wealth in beneficial ways; and another who only has knowledge, but wishes that he had wealth in order to be able to do more. The Prophet ﷺ said that these people are rewarded exactly the same because we are rewarded in accordance to our intention. Allah (swt) is teaching us to dream big and to work hard, but to have a heart that is at rest because we know the result is with Him.

4. Love: We all have people that love us. And it is important to foster good relationships with our family and friends. We are reminded again and again to have a good relationship with our neighbors, our close friends and our family. It is not only a duty, but also something that enriches our life. And even if we think we do not have anyone that loves us, then we should remember that Allah (swt) loves us. And we should not for a moment let shaytan (the Devil) tell us that this is not true. Why would Allah (swt) allow you to read these words of encouragement if He did not want what is best for you? And why would He want what is best for you if He does not love you?

Sadness is Normal Sometimes

This all might seem too easy. What about when things make us sad? Didn’t Allah (swt) say that He would test those He loves the most? So how can reconcile these things?

First, it is natural to have our down moments. The Prophet ﷺ  was sad when he lost his son Ibrahim. He suffered many hardships as well. When Aisha (ra) asked him whether the Battle of Uhud was the most difficult thing he went through, he said that it was the abuse he was subjected to at Ta’if that was the worst. But notice that he would point out incidents or events that were hard, as opposed to saying, “My entire life is hard” or “This was something I never got over.”

Second, there is a difference between being tested externally and being defeated internally. Yes, Allah (swt) tests those He loves. But He only tests us with what we can bear. This means that the stronger we are internally, the more hardship we are able to bear. Allah (swt) does not aim to destroy you but to build you. If you are at peace, while you will be shaken by hardships, you will not be broken, like the prophets and the righteous. Your worldview will enable you to see the hardship for what it is: temporary.

So when things go wrong, let yourself be sad as opposed to bottling things up. The Prophet ﷺ wept for his son. Things bothered him sometimes. But that was not his general state. He did not dwell on his hardships. Rather, his healthy internal state allowed him return to his default, which was a state of gratefulness and optimism.

If you ever feel down or distressed, remember this du`a’ (supplication):

اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ الْهَمِّ وَالْحُزْنِ وَالْعَجْزِ وَالْكَسَلِ وَالْبُخْلِ وَالْجُبْنِ وَضَلَعِ الدَّيْنِ وَغَلَبَةِ الرِّجَالِ

Allahumma inni a’udhu bika minal-hammi wal-Ḥuzni wal-‘ajazi wal-kasli wal-bukhli wal-jubni wa ḍala’Īd-dayni wa ghalabatir-rijal.

O Allāh, I take refuge in You from anxiety and sorrow, weakness and laziness, miserliness and cowardice, the burden of debts and from being overpowered by men.

[Bukhari]

Practical Tips

When we talk about happiness, it is easy to talk about the intangibles, but what are concrete ways to get there? I have compiled a list that I hope will help, Insha’Allah:

1. Realize that happiness is truly from within. Let go of holding onto to stress and fear, and realize that Allah (swt) gave you the power to affect your internal state. Allah says He is what we think of Him, so we need to live in accordance with that opinion and internalize that good opinion of Him.

2. Build hope and faith in Allah, and develop your relationship with Him: this is your asset and will get you through things. Study His Names, focus on connecting to Him through your prayers, reflect over the Qur’an and have secret good deeds that no one knows about but Him.

3. Develop yourself: No two days in the day of a Muslim should be the same. Learn new things. Read. Cultivate the “sound heart”. Work on your interpersonal skills. The Prophet ﷺ said that wisdom is the lost property of the believer, so we should be seeking wisdom in all its forms.

4. Smile: It’s a sunnah (tradition of the Prophet ﷺ) as we know, and psychological studies have shown that smiling can increase your happiness levels and lift your spirits. Fun study: Wayne State University scientists in Detroit concluded that those athletes who smiled more in their pictures lived on average seven years longer than those who did not.

5. Do good: There are countless ahadeeth (sayings of the Prophet) that encourage us to do good for others, without expecting anything for ourselves. The Prophet ﷺ  gave his time in addition to his wealth to people who needed it. Allah (swt) says in the Qu’ran, “Indeed, those who have believed and done righteous deeds – the Most Merciful will appoint for them affection” (Qu’ran, 19:96). Meaning Allah (swt) will show His love for you! Moreover, one of Allah’s Names is ash-Shakoor; He appreciates and gives back even more than you put in when you do good!

A paper by Dr. Suzanne Richards and colleagues at the University of Exeter Medical School, Exeter, UK, found that, “volunteering is associated with lower depression, increased well-being, and a 22 percent reduction in the risk of dying.” Karen Reivich, Ph.D., a research associate in the Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania found that happiness is “also feeling a connection to something larger than yourself. When people are in service to something bigger, they describe their lives as filled with meaning. It’s not the smiley face, but when it’s all over, you realize you’d do it again.”

6. Express gratitude: It is one thing to be grateful, and another thing to express it. Allah (swt) tells us “If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor],” (Qur’an, 14:7). You will be given more—materially—but also spiritually. There will be barakah, which means increase. For example, you have an hour to do things but find that you can do so much. You have little money but it is always enough for you. And gratitude is not just in expressing it to God. Remember that the Prophet ﷺ said, “whoever has not thanked people has not thanked God” (Abu Dawud). It applies with both the big things (showing your parents how much appreciate them) and with the small (simply saying thank you when the barista gives you your coffee). This short clip shows an experiment conducted on the link between expressing gratitude and people’s happiness, and is well worth the watch:

7. Sleep well: Remember that your body has a right over you. When a man came to the Prophet ﷺ saying that he prayed all night long, the Prophet ﷺ  reminded him that his body and his family had rights over him. In the Qur’an, we are taught that Allah (swt) “…made your sleep [a means for] rest, And made the night as clothing, And made the day for livelihood” (78:9-11)

This really does not need a study, but studies have shown that bad sleep is detrimental to your mood, and of course, makes it hard to wake up in the morning. A University of Michigan study showed that just getting an extra hour of sleep at night has more of an effect on daily happiness than making $60,000 more in annual income!

8. Develop a relationship with your family: I put this as a separate point to the above because I feel that it requires extra focus. The Prophet ﷺ tells us, “The best of you are those who are best to their families,” (Tirmidhi). What we go home to also influences us. Many of us live with our parents, and we have heard countless talks about the obedience to parents. But our relationship with our parents is so much more than obedience, and characterizing the relationship in that way makes it rigid and dry. In the Qur’an we are told to “accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me [in repentance]” (31:15). The word is used is saahibhuma, which is from the root that gives us the word saahib: companion. Some of us may have difficult relationships with our parents, and so this part is extra hard if we feel disconnected from them. But remember, we are rewarded for our efforts. Find something in common between you. Maybe your mother enjoys reading and your father loves a certain sport. You can try to find those little things that will transform your relationship.

9. Eat well: Allah (swt) says: “O children of Adam, take your adornment at every masjid, and eat and drink, but be not excessive. Indeed, He likes not those who commit excess” (Qur’an, 7:31). While studies are not conclusive, there are links between what we eat and how it affects our mood in the long-term. It is most likely linked to overall health, but see this article and this one for “happy” foods.

10. Be fit: The Prophet ﷺ was fit and barely had a belly into his 60s. The sahaba, the Companions (ra) played sports. Allah (swt) created us in a certain way: you use your body well, and it will help you when you are old. A Duke University study suggested that moderate aerobic exercise has a longer and more lasting effect on mood than medication alone for people with depression. A Canadian study found that being physically active was associated with 85 percent higher odds of being happy and people who changed from being inactive to active were more likely to report feeling happy two and four years later.

11. Have discipline: Jaber bin Abdullah (ra), one of the companions, was carrying a piece of meat. “Umar saw him and said, ‘What is this Jaber?’ To which Jaber replied ‘I desired some meat so I bought it.’ Umar looked at him and said ‘And do you buy whatever you desire?’”

This last one might seem counter-intuitive. Getting whatever we desire should make us happy, right? Not according to a research study published in the Journal of Personality, which found that exerting self-control can make you happier both in the long-term and in the moment. Disciplined people are able to avoid situations of temptation, and therefore avoid situations in which their goals or morals would conflict. It is not simply about being in a situation and preventing yourself from acting on your lust, but it is, as Islam teaches, avoiding situations where there is a higher risk of desires taking control over you. The research concluded that these people are good managers, and experienced fewer negative emotions as a result. Moreover, being disciplined with our goals or even a little to-do list helps instill a sense of achievement, which in turn makes us more productive and happy.

May we all be believers with hearts filled with contentment!

inspired by my friends and the sheikhs that provided the information and life lessons

As young people, unhappiness is certainly not a feeling that is alien to us. We are all struggling in some shape or form. Sometimes, failing to succeed in our studies ruins our whole mood. Some of us are stressed about finding a job to support our living costs while others are wondering whether they picked the right degree; some may even be reading this hoping to find the motivation to pursue a goal in life. Some of us have friends suffering from an illness, or we may be the ones suffering; we might even be looking for that ‘special’ person.

There are many things for us to be unhappy about, and this post was not written to judge or look down upon those feeling unhappy. It was written because I know from experience that this feeling is difficult to live with. You may be indulging in sins, too scared to repent and return back to Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He). However, I want to try to give you a different perspective on all of these matters. During my moments of hardship I read many books, attended various circles and watched many lectures, and the following is what I came to realise.

No matter how bad your situation is, this dunya (material world) is the lowest of places. It is only up from here, insha’ Allah (God willing). This place was designed to be a complete test: some of us are tested with poverty, unhappiness and hardship, others with wealth, riches and goodness. It is tailored to each person and ultimately, the outcome of the test depends on how we deal with it. We fail when hardships make us bitter and we fall into the trap of believing that a merciful Lord would not make us deal with these adversities; equally, we may fall into the trap of believing that we are invincible and owe our wealth only to ourselves, forgetting to be thankful to Allah (swt) every day and to use our wealth in His way and for His sake.

The companions of the Prophet ﷺ (peace be upon him), radi Allahu `anhum (may God be pleased with them), frequently reiterated: “When things are easy they are always followed by hard times, whereas when things are hard they are always followed by easy times.” If we were just patient with all the tribulations that befall us, we would be in `ibadah (worship); we could be just sitting in our homes and, if we are patient with the trials Allah (swt) tests us with, we are in `ibadah. But if we are constantly complaining, we should know that Allah (swt) will give us more things to complain about.

When trying to overcome this sense of sadness, there are those of us who stumble due to the sins we commit. However, we need to remember a statement made by the Prophet ﷺ : “I swear by Him in whose hand is my soul, if you were a people who did not commit sin, Allah would take you away and replace you with a people who would sin and then seek Allah’s forgiveness so He could forgive them.” This is who we worship. No matter what we have done, Allah (swt) forgives if we go back to Him with a sincere heart. His mercy is beyond our understanding. “And seek forgiveness of Allah. Indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful” (73:20). As Rumi said in one of his poems: “Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn’t matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.”

We know that Satan says that most of us are not in a state of gratitude. Allah (swt) states this very fact in the Qur’an: “And few of My servants are grateful” (34:13). The root of taqwa (God-consciousness) is gratitude. The Almighty is worthy of gratitude; Islam is not just about fear. We do not want to be a people who are motivated to do things only by a negative force like fear. Behind everything is Allah (swt); therefore in being grateful for everything we are grateful to Him. This effectively includes being grateful to people who harm us, because if we respond correctly, they are doing us a big favour by drawing us nearer to Allah (swt).

Now that you have understood this, sit down and think all the blessings Allah (swt) has bestowed upon you. He has allowed you to use electricity to read this piece; He has given you eyes to witness the very world He enables you to reside in. He has allowed some of us to attend universities where we enjoy the presence of great people. He has given us stomachs where we enjoy the very food He has granted us to eat. The list is endless.

Sometimes dedicating time to pondering all the things Allah (swt) has allowed us to enjoy shifts our whole mood. I do not say this just for the sake of it, but because it really is true. Over the past few days I have reflected a lot and realised that, in some way or another, Allah (swt) has answered all my pleas. Sitting down and pondering over the Mercy of Allah (swt) overwhelms me. This has certainly made me a happier person, eradicating the sense of depression, and most importantly, this realisation has made thank Allah (swt) for every incident that occurs to me. It is important to be continually in a state of reflection; the world we live in is one that can drain our iman (faith) and happiness, so the only way to overcome this is to remember and thank Allah (swt), counting our blessings more than once.

This thanking of Allah (swt) however is not merely saying ‘alhamdullilah’ (all praise be to Allah) after everything that occurs, but is also utilising the very things He has blessed us with. So if you have the gift of being creative, then use that to help those of us who are less talented in that area; if you have been blessed with wealth. donate to projects that make other human beings smile and feel this sense of gratitude. If your divine gift is in giving advice or writing, then by all means use your powerful words to help others. As the saying goes, the ‘world is your oyster’, and it is up to you to really show this gratitude.

A very noble man said not too long ago: “If you take a child and throw him or her up, there is a point when you see them go into a state of complete panic; then, when they come back to your arms, they are laughing. That is the dunya, I guarantee you. That moment is your life; you came from God and you are going back to God, and there is a moment when you are in a complete state of panic but just relax – you are in good hands. Just relax.”

Be happy, stay positive, ponder on your successes and constantly be happy with your blessings.

May peace be granted to all of us insha’ Allah.

By Tarek Younis

Emotion: an often-neglected, yet significant component of our psychological configuration

Our psychological configuration consists of several components, all of which are interrelated:

1. The spiritual component, as we say the fitrah, which naturally predisposes us with an inclination towards God and good.
2. The cognitive component, which assumes all types of mental processes we can have.
3. The emotional component, which covers the range of emotions we experience, such as anger, sadness, fear, shame, and guilt.

The purpose of this article is to focus exclusively on the emotional component, as it is oft-neglected amongst Muslims; indeed our community habitually focuses on our spiritual and cognitive components instead. This imbalance is significant for two reasons:

First of all, I contend that many – if not most – of the problems we face as individuals can directly be related to our emotional regulation.

Second of all, by neglecting the emotional component, we undervalue the emotional intelligence of the Prophet ﷺ (peace be upon him), who was a mercy to mankind on the basis of all three components combined. We consequently overlook his emotional character, perhaps even reducing him to a man of rules and regulations devoid of any feelings at all. An ayah that specifically highlights this trait was revealed after the battle of Uhud, in which Allah says:

“So by mercy from Allah, [O Muhammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you. So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them and consult them in the matter. And when you have decided, then rely upon Allah. Indeed, Allah loves those who rely [upon Him].”(Quran, 3:159)

The ayah (verse) demonstrates how the Prophet ﷺ was perfectly attuned to the emotional state of his followers– had it been otherwise, his companions would have disbanded. Indeed, the Prophet ﷺ  knew very well the importance of recognizing our emotions; his life was the quintessential example of emotional expression – when and how to express them – with the ultimate objective of developing our emotional intelligence.

What is the emotional component?

The experience of emotions is inevitable. Thus we do not exercise our free will in choosing not to have them, rather we practice free will in deciding what to do with them when they arise. There are several key points with regards to emotional intelligence that must be understood.

First of all, it’s important to realize that if God has created us with emotions, such as anger, sadness, fear, etc., then they must serve a purpose that is ultimately to our benefit. In fact, research has shown that our well-being – how happy you are, how good you feel, etc. – is entirely a function of our emotional make-up. Keep in mind, much like everything else we were given, emotions were created to enhance healthy living but it also carries the potential of being abused.

Second of all, the emotional component is incapable of reason; instead, it requires our rational brain to reflect on the valuable emotional information it produces. For example, when you’re scared, you try to use that information to rationalize what you’re afraid of. It is the collaboration of emotion and reason that results in a whole that is greater than the sum of its parts.

Third of all, we use emotions to give meaning to things. People reflect on their emotional feelings to make sense of their experiences. For example, someone may create meaning via the feeling of calmness that they experience when sitting in a religious institution, and they may thus appreciate the experience in a manner that attributes the calmness coming from God. The emotional component indeed plays a major role in our convictions and worldviews, which is quite often neglected in debates and arguments. This is especially important with regards to da’wah (calling people to Islam); the most common da’wah method I see amongst da’iis (those who do da’wah), I would say it’s almost exclusively a rational approach. I personally do not advocate an entirely rational approach to da’wah as that would presuppose that humans are entirely rational creatures. Rather, we must appreciate that our emotions play an equally significant (if not more so) role in the decisions we make. Significantly, if you speak to people who accepted Islam, not everyone will agree that they converted because it was an entirely reasonable choice; many, for example, say it was because of the love they felt for Allah, Islam, or indeed, the Muslim community. Although the general Western population places a superior emphasis on “rationality” than anything else, do not neglect the person’s feelings in the process. The meaning they will construct following your da’wah engagement will almost certainly depend on the emotions they were feeling in the process.

Finally, the emotional component consists of two processes: the facility of experiencing emotions and the capacity to regulate it. Indeed, the over and under-regulation of emotions is a significant cause of psychological distress. Let’s take the core emotion of fear as an example, and briefly examine how the Prophet ﷺ regulated it. Fear is a powerful, adaptive emotion that screams “danger!” It quickly generates a tremendous amount of energy (hence, your heart is racing, adrenaline, etc.) so you can immediately seek protection. In the time of the Prophet ﷺ, there was one context that we’re sure was fear-invoking for his companions: war. How did the Prophet ﷺ show us how to regulate our fear in these unquestionably fearful times? Did he under-regulate it by staying at home in hiding, overcome by the need to protect himself? Did he over-regulate it by running towards the enemy on his own, without any consideration for his own being? Of course not, the Prophet ﷺ was instead the perfect example of emotional regulation. You see, fear is just a warning sign for danger, and this is an incredibly valuable emotional information; instead of attacking the enemy carelessly (ignoring the fear), or staying at home (overcome by fear), he put on body armor and planned his attacks precisely. Hence, fear is a valuable asset from Allah that tells us to be careful. We shouldn’t let it overpower us, nor should we ever ignore it.

This is obviously an enormous topic. Indeed, philosophers and scholars have discussed the significance of the emotional component for millennia. As such, there were but a few thoughts on the importance of emotions, and I pray in the future we can discuss specific emotions – anger, sadness, fear, and shame – individually by reflecting on their purpose and, significantly, their abuse.

Tarek Younis is a fourth year PhD/PsyD psychology student at the Université du Québec à Montréal, and a long-time community activist in Montréal, Canada. For more articles investigating the psychological configuration of Muslims, visit him at www.muslimpsyche.com

The main psychological reference for the above is:

Greenberg, L. (2002). Emotion-focused therapy: Coaching clients to work through feelings. Washington, D.C. American Psychological Association Press.

“Leave your country in search of loftiness and travel! For in travel there are five benefits: Relief of adversity, earning of livelihood, knowledge, etiquettes, and noble companionship.” – Imam As-Shafi

I was born and raised in a small suburb of Houston, Texas called Sugar Land, where I spent the first nineteen years of my life. In September 2009, immediately after high school, my younger brother and I left for Medical School to a relatively remote island in the West Indies called St. Kitts. Now, after almost two years, as my last semester comes to an end and these bittersweet feelings run through my head, I can’t help but reflect on a realization I’ve come to.

Moving out of a home and land that you dwelled in for the first nineteen years of your life, and into a land that is completely unknown, can, and will, change a person. As human beings, we get so comfortable in these little niches that we form, and get so accustomed to the way things are, that we begin to abhor the concept of change. We can’t tolerate the harsh truth that we are going to have to “start all over”; a new home, new friends, and new memories.

However, after initial hesitation — and often, active resistance — we begin to inescapably move on. It’s funny though, and even a little scary, how quickly we get so comfortable with our new lives in our new homes, and with our new friends in our new communities, and we begin to realize that all the things we had once longed for and were afraid to lose, were awfully temporary.

We begin to understand the ephemeral nature of pain, sorrow, happiness, and pleasure, and, on a larger scale, of life itself. I lived in my city with my parents and my siblings in a house of nine. I formed, what I thought to be, everlasting bonds. I knew the land as if it were my own, and felt proud to call myself a Texan. But now, as poignant as it is, I’m happy here in St. Kitts. I began to realize, very early on, that the sadness I felt when I was leaving home was transient. I began to realize that all the material possessions I had amassed and thought I couldn’t live without were impermanent. And I began to realize that all these people I called my friends and my foes, were short-lived.

I couldn’t help but think to myself that perhaps Allah subhanahu wa ta`la (exalted is He) plans out these brief phases in our lives, so that He may paint for us a bigger picture. So He may elucidate to us a truth: that just like all these brief phases, emotions, and acquaintances come and go, so too we came, and so too we will go. So that He may show us that we are on a train on which one ticket stub has been torn off in the womb, another when we came into this world, but the third and final stub awaits until we enter either paradise or the fire of hell, may Allah swt protect us all. Maybe Allah swt wanted to make us realize that we have no real reason to be sad, or that we cannot hope to find pure happiness in things belonging to this world because eventually, inevitably, “everything will perish” (Qur’an, 55:26).

“Oh men who take pleasure in this world, falling in love with a fading shadow is pure stupidity”. – `Ali radi Allahu ‘anhu (may Allah be pleased with him).

It is high time that we stop putting our ultimate and deepest trust, happiness, and love in people, places, and objects, because we will be disappointed. These friends that we once confided in, and thought we couldn’t live without, will be replaced as we move from place to place, and our families will eventually pass. We are eventually going to have to move out of these homes in which we spend our whole lives, cultivate attachments and resentments, and create everlasting memories. It’s time we get a grasp on the truer reality, and realize that the only things that are permanent are those things that are connected to Allah swt.

When you trust in Allah, and place all your affairs in His hands, you will never be let down. When you truly understand the meaning of “Allah is closer to you than your jugular vein” (Qur’an, 50:16), and form a pure and true relationship with Him, you come to know that it’s an everlasting and mutual relationship. When you find your truest happiness and tranquility with Allah, you will realize it’s permanent. For “only in the remembrance of Allah will man find true comfort, tranquility, and peace” (Qur’an, 13:28). It is then, and only then, that we will be able to truly please Allah swt, and enter into our permanent home. For “that is the ultimate, supreme achievement” (Qur’an, 4:13).

“What is this world but a dream that a sleeper sees – he delights in it for a few moments, and then wakes up to face reality”. – Hasan Al-Basri