Lessons from the Story of Prophet Adam (Part II)

By Sabah El Kadi and Manal Hatab

Part I | Part II

This article is the second part of a series bringing forth the parenting lessons embedded in the story of Prophet Adam (as) in Surat Al-Baqara. To read the first 3 lessons, please visit the first part of this series here.

Lesson 4

Translate beneficial knowledge into practice.

“And [mention] when We said to the angels, ‘Prostrate before Adam’; so they prostrated, except for Iblees. He refused and was arrogant and became of the disbelievers. And We said, ‘O Adam, dwell, you and your wife, in Paradise and eat therefrom in [ease and] abundance from wherever you will. But do not approach this tree, lest you be among the wrongdoers.’” (Qur’an 2:34-35)

After Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He) taught Adam `alayhi as-salaam (peace be upon him) the names, He then prohibited him and his wife from taking delight in one tree. Adam’s first concrete interaction—with Satan and the ensuing punishment—defined the beginning of his practical experiences. The purpose of the encounter with Satan was to teach Prophet Adam (as) and his wife about the nature of their struggle in the real world. According to Ma’riful Qur’an commentary: “They were warned that their existence on the earth would no longer be full of perpetual bliss as it had been in paradise, but there would be dissension and enmity among men, their progeny, which would spoil the joy of earthly life.” Consequently, Prophet Adam (as) learned that his struggle in the world will be between evil and good, and that evil is weak if he is armed with beneficial knowledge and yaqeen (certainty), the real weapons of the future deputy of God. It is those qualities which will protect his relationship with his Creator and strengthen it.

As the child grows older and reaches the age of discernment and beyond, he develops a moral compass and a concrete understanding of the world which are in line with the theological teachings of Islam (creed). This is the time for parents to give their growing children choices and responsibilities. Through closely supervised experiences, parents expose their children to life’s trying nature as prophet Adam (as) was exposed to the consequences of breaking God’s commandment. Giving children an opportunity to blend into their environments while making mistakes is paramount to their developmental growth and social competence. This is an important phase as the child gains the trust of his parents while he feels their unwavering presence in his life and experiences a practical application of his value system.

Those supervised exposures will support the child in navigating through his future with confidence, as he is able to delineate the boundaries, which define his relationship with his Creator, his relationship with the self, and his relationship with creation.

Lesson 5

Teach the child repentance with mercy and love.

“But Satan caused them to slip out of it and removed them from that [condition] in which they had been. And We said, ‘Go down, [all of you], as enemies to one another, and you will have upon the earth a place of settlement and provision for a time.’ Then Adam received from his Lord [some] words, and He accepted his repentance. Indeed, it is He who is the Accepting of repentance, the Merciful.” (Qur’an, 2:36-37)

Prophet Adam (as) was afflicted with forgetfulness and ate from the forbidden tree. Thereafter God questioned him and he assumed responsibility for his actions. “And We had already taken a promise from Adam before, but he forgot; and We found not in him determination,” (Qur’an, 20: 115). Adam’s disobedience was not intentional. He grew accustomed to the comforts of paradise, forgot his promise and believed Satan. The lessons, which can be highlighted here, are two.

Firstly, Prophet Adam (as) learned how Allah (swt) reprimands the wrong doer and punishes him. Secondly, he learned how Allah (swt) forgives and reveals His mercy when the disobedient repents. Consequently, Adam’s disobedience was instrumental for him to experience the human quality of wrongdoing and the divine attribute of the merciful and compassionate God. Furthermore, mercy is an adornment of the deputy of God so that he may guide those wrong doers in this world to repentance by seeking their Lord.

Making mistakes is of human nature and contributes to invaluable room for emotional growth as it helps define the relationship that the child has with the self and with the Creator. Prophet Adam’s disobedience presented an opportunity for him to understand his weak self and the necessary mechanism to remedy wrong actions through repentance. He also understood that his relationship with his Creator is fortified through beneficial knowledge, which breeds yaqeen, and obedience to God’s commandments. He also learned that his biggest enemy is forgetfulness. Consequently, teaching children repentance is fundamental, as no human being is infallible as the following hadith (narration) states:

The Prophet ﷺ said: “By the One in Whose hand is my soul, if you did not commit sin Allah would do away with you and bring people who would commit sin then pray for forgiveness.” Narrated by Muslim . He ﷺ also said: “Every son of Adam sins and the best of those who sin are those who repent.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi)

During this phase of upbringing, parents may find many lessons in Prophet Ya`qub’s ((Jacob)) “responsive” parenting style. ((https://www.virtualmosque.com/society/dawah/prophet-yaqub-a-role-model-father/ )) His (as) wisdom and divine knowledge contributed to shaping Prophet Yusuf’s righteous personality as a child and to his unwavering presence in the lives of Yusuf’s misguided brothers. He (as) continuously called them to repentance though wisdom, patience and good counsel. Therefore , reminding our children so that they do not forget as their father Adam did and showing mercy towards them as Allah (swt) did towards Adam (as) are essential parenting tools to raising the future deputy on earth.

Lesson 6

The Earthly Struggle

“We said, ‘Go down from it, all of you. And when guidance comes to you from Me, whoever follows My guidance – there will be no fear concerning them, nor will they grieve. And those who disbelieve and deny Our signs – those will be companions of the Fire; they will abide therein eternally.’” (Qur’an, 2:38-39)

Prophet Adam (as) learned the consequences to disobedience; he repented and Allah (swt) opened His door to a world which He created and prepared for him to inhabit as His deputy on earth. Allah (swt) then left Prophet Adam (as) in this world with the complete freedom to fulfill this role and out of His mercy sent prophets as a gift and a reminder.

Consequently, whoever is guided in this world is in essence guided to paradise in the hereafter and whoever forgets and is misguided in this world is in essence misguided from the gift of paradise in the hereafter. God in His infinite mercy provided Adam (as) with the knowledge he needed to struggle in His way, taught him the mechanism of repentance and sent messengers to remind his descendents of the meaning of their existence. Those who fulfill their role of deputyship are the ones who rule with justice, avoid transgressions and follow God’s commandments. Those who corrupt and oppress themselves do not assume that divinely delegated role.

Conclusion

Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: “Religion is counsel,” (Muslim). Our children are the most entitled to such precious counsel until they take on the role of the deputy of God and struggle on their own to gain the pleasure of their Creator.

The first step in raising the future deputy of God lies in establishing safe environments, which reflect the orderliness and beauty of paradise. Attending to the physical and developmental needs of the child through “responsive” and nurturing parenting is equally important.

Secondly, imparting beneficial knowledge, which caters to the child’s learning needs and his age readiness is fundamental to shaping character, reinforcing values and empowering the child to understand the nature of the world and to overcome the fears bred through ignorance.

Thirdly, supporting the child in experiencing his environment broadens his insight into the nature of the world and provides him with practical application of his value system. Parents’ support must be always channeled through an attitude of love and open communication; they remind the child and reprimand him with mercy and love. Alluding to Prophet Ya’qub’s approach (as) to parenting proves to be a good example here, especially during the adolescent years.

Finally, as the child matures well beyond the age of discernment, parents teach him that his carnal instincts are a blessing if channeled towards what Allah (swt) made permissible. In doing so, he reaps the rewards of this life and the hereafter. They also teach him repentance while remaining steadfast to Allah’s commandments, through a character which manifests moderation and wisdom. Equally important, they teach him that his greatest enemy is forgetfulness if he steers away from God’s religion and that the door of mercy is open until he takes his last breath.

Photo: Robert S. Digby

There is something striking about the life of Yusuf `alyahi as-salaam (peace be upon him). Every time it seems something good is happening to him, it is taken away or something messes it up. Think about it.

He tells his father about his amazing dream, and his father informs him that it is something good, and that he is a prophet. Then his brothers throw him in the well.

While he is in the well, waiting to be rescued, some passersby go to collect water, and instead they find him. AlhamdulilLah (praise be to God)! He is saved! But wait… they sell him at a market. He becomes a slave.

The minister who buys him treats him pretty well, though. He is still a slave, but it could be a lot worse. He is honored in the house of the minister. He grows up, and things seem stable at least. Then the wife of the minister tries to seduce him, and she will not desist either.

Even though he did nothing wrong, he prefers prison than to give in. Two prisoners enter after him. He interprets their dreams, and he knows that one of them will be released. He tells him, “Mention me to your master.” Things are looking up. Perhaps he will be released soon. But instead, we are told, “But Satan made him forget the mention [to] his master, and Joseph remained in prison several years.” (Qur’an, 12:42)

Finally though, we come full circle. The king has a strange dream that no one understands. And so the released prisoner, now working as a servant to the king, remembers Yusuf. Yusuf is released and asked to interpret the dream. It is the perfect time, because when he interprets the king’s dream, the king is so impressed with him that he makes him minister over the food rations. Everyone knows he is innocent. Yusuf saves the land from famine. He is reunited with his family.

What is remarkable is what he says at the end, “Indeed, my Lord is Subtle in what He wills. Indeed, it is He who is the Knowing, the Wise.” (Qur’an, 12:100) Yusuf (as) understood: none of this was a coincidence.

Yusuf (as) probably had no idea at the time why his own brothers threw him in a well, and no idea that he would become a minister through that. But he never said, “Why me? Allah, why did you let this happen? I am a good kid!” He was not bitter about what he was given. While most people would see the hardship, he only saw God.

Allah subhanahu 
wa
ta`ala (exalted is He) knew why those things happened and that there was wisdom in every single thing. We may not know, but Allah (swt) is subtle in how He sends His signs, and how He makes things work. You might think you are in the worst possible place at this point in your life, but this could be the first step to getting somewhere amazing. You just cannot see it yet.

Yusuf’s story is an example of things happening to us that are completely outside of our control. All of us have that: there are things that just happen that we cannot comprehend; disappointment after disappointment; or hope in people that let you down.

Yet you will not be asked about what you had no control over—but you will most certainly be asked over those things you did have control over.  Throughout the story, we hear testimony to Yusuf’s (as) character. The people in prison say to him, “We see you to be of those who do good.” He was not an angry person, even in prison, bitter at the world for his perceived misfortune. He did not make excuses for himself when the minister’s beautiful wife tried to seduce him. He did good wherever he found himself, and prevented himself from doing bad. Because while he was separated from his loved ones, he was never separated from Allah. And so Allah (swt) gave him moments of relief at every stage.

Be like Yusuf (as), and be recognized as being of those who do good: If you make a mistake, apologize, and fix it if you can. If you cannot, then let it go, and pray for the person you hurt. If your situation calls for patience, then have beautiful patience like his father Ya’coob (as), who had nothing to do but wait when he lost his sons. If it calls for striving, then do that. Give it your all, until you cannot think of anything else to do. But do not make excuses for yourself.

And if you can see past the hardship, then you will see the opportunity, just like Yusuf (as) when he interpreted the dream of the two prisoners. And we now know what that led to.

By Manal Hatab

Prophet Yusuf’s (Joseph), alayhi as-salaam (blessings be upon him), story carries timeless spiritual, moral and literary lessons, among many others. One of those timeless lessons is the eloquent portrayal of Prophet Ya`qub’s (Jacob) (as) exemplary character, which stands as a testimony to his unshakeable faith. The Qur’an highlights his wisdom and divine knowledge as a parent and a believer in the following verse: “And indeed, he was a possessor of knowledge because of what We had taught him, but most of the people do not know.” (12:68)

Prophet Ya`qub’s (as) forbearing nature is evident throughout his difficult trials, which involved his own family. Ibn Qayyim Al Jawziyya said:  “Iman (faith) is two halves: Half of it is patience and the other half is gratitude.” ((http://www.islaam.net/main/display.php?id=1194&category=148)) No doubt, Prophet Ya`qub (as) demonstrated those qualities repeatedly throughout his hardships.

My intention is to focus on his role model character, as depicted in Chapter Yusuf in the Qur’an. Ibn Kathir explains that Prophet Ya`qub (as) had twelve sons among whom Yusuf (as) was the most honorable. This is in a hadith (saying of the Prophet), narrated by Abu Huraira. This hadith also confirms Prophet Ya`qub’s (as) honorable status.  Some people asked the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ :”Who is the most honorable amongst the people?” He replied, “The most honorable among them is the one who is the most Allah-fearing.” They said, “O Allah’s Prophet! We do not ask about this.” He said, “Then the most honorable person is Joseph, Allah’s Prophet, the son of Allah’s Prophet (Ya`qub), the son of Allah’s Khalil [Prophet] Ibrahim.” (Sahih Bukhari)

Ya`qub’s Wisdom: His Parenting Style

“He said, O my son, do not relate your vision to your brothers or they will contrive against you a plan. Indeed Satan, to man, is a manifest enemy. And thus, will your Lord choose you, teach you the interpretation of narratives, and complete His favor upon you and upon the family of Jacob, as He completed it upon your fathers before, Abraham and Isaac. Indeed, your Lord is Knowing and Wise.” (Qur’an, 12:5-6)

Ya`qub’s (as) wisdom as a father prevails in his remarkably nurturing and supportive response to Yusuf (as) who approached him to share his dream of the eleven stars, the sun and moon prostrating for him. The above verses, which describe Ya`qub’s (as) response, reveal a close relationship between father and son. According to the Sharaawy, the usage of the phrase “Ya bunaya” (O my son) in Arabic, indicates endearment and love. ((http://www.altafsir.com/Tafasir.asp?tMadhNo=0&tTafsirNo=76&tSoraNo=12&tAyahNo=5&tDisplay=yes&UserProfile=0&LanguageId=1)) Yusuf was still very young and dependent upon his father.  Using the appropriate rhetoric and parenting style, Ya`qub (as) delivered counsel with utmost wisdom. Firstly, he acknowledged the importance of Yusuf’s (as) dream and validated his experience by reminding him of God’s (swt) blessings upon him and his ancestors. Secondly, he counseled Yusuf (as) to keep the dream a secret; thus, displaying depth of insight into human nature. Instead of perpetuating unnecessary feelings of rejection between Yusuf (as) and his ten older sons, Ya`qub (as) highlighted Satan as the perpetrator of wrong doings. He avoided highlighting any flaws, due to envy, in his sons’ characters, but, instead, he brought Yusuf’s (as) attention to Satan, as the source of potential conflict between him and his siblings.

This encounter between father and son points to the importance of developing family relationships based on openness and transparency. By responding with genuine concern to their children’s experiences, parents keep a steady channel of communication open for future dialogue and counsel. Furthermore, there is a valuable message to teach children compassion by using rhetoric, which encourages empathy and love, especially among siblings.  According to modern psychology, Prophet Ya`qub’s parenting style is “authoritative.” This is the most effective parenting approach among the three parenting styles identified as “permissive,” “authoritative,” and “authoritarian”:

“Authoritative parents take a different, more moderate approach that emphasizes setting high standards, being nurturing and responsive and showing respect for children as independent, rational beings. The authoritative parent expects maturity and cooperation, and offers children lots of emotional support.” ((http://www.parentingscience.com/authoritative-parenting-style.html))

Ya`qub’s Patience: An Appropriate Response

As the story unfolds, the Qur’an describes Prophet Yusuf’s (as) brothers as harboring ill feelings towards their younger brother and accusing their father of favoritism. After seeking their father’s approval, they take Yusuf (as) on a leisure trip with the intention of getting rid of him. They throw him in a well and return to their father to relay the false news of his death.

“And they came to their father at night, weeping. They said, ‘O our father, indeed we went racing each other and left Joseph with our possessions, and a wolf ate him. But you would not believe us, even if we were truthful.’ And they brought upon his shirt false blood. [Jacob] said, ‘Rather, your souls have enticed you to something, so patience is most fitting. And Allah is the one sought for help against that which you describe.'” (12:16-18)

Unlike a typical parent’s reaction, Ya`qub (as) responded to the news of Yusuf’s (as) demise with great resolve. Even though he knew that his sons had committed a sin and were relaying false news, he decided to respond with patience.  Ibn Kathir explains the sons’ paradoxical behavior and Ya`qub’s (as) suspicions:

“They claimed that this was the shirt Yusuf was wearing, when the wolf devoured him, being stained with his blood. Nevertheless, they forgot to tear the shirt, and this is why Allah’s Prophet Ya`qub did not believe them. Rather, he told them what he felt about what they said to him, thus refusing their false claim.” ((http://www.qtafsir.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=880&Itemid=67))

In spite of his total awareness of the sinful nature of his sons’ actions, Ya`qub’s (as) reaction lacked any harsh recourse and portrayed a character tempered with patience and wisdom. He did not hesitate to cast a doubt upon his sons’ actions, immediately sought “sweet patience” and called upon God, subhanahu wa ta’ala, Exhalted is He, for help. He chose to avoid provocation or frustration. Prophet Ya`qub (as) models patience as a state, which requires resolve as well as the courage to be steadfast during afflictions. He stands as an example for parents to show patience during family conflicts, while actively and intelligently seeking solutions with in the appropriate context and appropriate time. It is a fundamental character quality that the believer possesses and that defines his disposition during tribulations. Judith Orloff, an Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at UCLA, affirms the empowering nature of patience:

“Patience doesn’t mean passivity or resignation, but power. It’s an emotionally freeing practice of waiting, watching, and knowing when to act.” ((http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-freedom/201209/the-power-patience))

Ya`qub’s  Da`wah (Call) to his Family: A ”Balanced” Approach

After a focus on the events that Prophet Yusuf (as) underwent in Egypt, the Qur’an revisits the story of Ya`qub (as), his older sons and younger Benjamin. The sons are now in a despondent state. They had suffered from the drought that affected the region and were gradually undergoing a spiritual change indicated by feelings of remorse and despair. By that time, Yusuf (as) had reached a high position as financial advisor, in charge of all the storage units in Egypt. The wheel had turned a full circle and now Yusuf (as) had advantage over his brothers. It is under those circumstances that Ya`qub’s (as) sons urge him to send Benjamin with them to Egypt to claim his share of goods. The Qur’an describes Ya`qub’s (as) response:

“He said, ‘Should I entrust you with him except [under coercion] as I entrusted you with his brother before? But Allah is the best guardian, and He is the most merciful of the merciful.’ And when they opened their baggage, they found their merchandise returned to them. They said, ‘O our father, what [more] could we desire? This is our merchandise returned to us. And we will obtain supplies for our family and protect our brother and obtain an increase of a camel’s load; that is an easy measurement.’ [Jacob] said, ‘Never will I send him with you until you give me a promise by Allah that you will bring him [back] to me, unless you should be surrounded by enemies.’ And when they had given their promise, he said, ‘Allah, over what we say, is Witness.’ And he said, ‘O my sons, do not enter from one gate but enter from different gates; and I cannot avail you against [the decree of] Allah at all. The decision is only for Allah; upon Him I have relied, and upon Him let those who would rely [indeed] rely.’ And when they entered from where their father had ordered them, it did not avail them against Allah at all except [it was] a need within the soul of Jacob, which he satisfied. And indeed, he was a possessor of knowledge because of what We had taught him, but most of the people do not know.” (12:64-68)

In this interaction between father and sons, Ya`qub (as) is instructing with the intention of rectifying the wrongdoings, committed by his children. He alludes to God (swt) as the Guardian, Merciful, and Witness. He first reminds his sons of their broken trust with Yusuf (as) so that they may not repeat it with Benjamin. He however does not negate God’s (swt) attribute as the ultimate Guardian. Furthermore, he holds them responsible for their actions by obtaining an oath for Benjamin’s safe return and reminding them that God (swt) is a Witness over those events. This is incredible spiritual rhetoric, which arouses feelings of remorse and mindfulness of God (swt) by appealing to the sense of right and wrong. This type of rhetoric is however proceeded by very practical advice.  Ya`qub (as) asks his sons to enter the city of Egypt from different gates hoping to prevent a possible calamity. He concludes by reminding his sons that God’s (swt) decree will finally avail in spite of his advice. The Qur’an attests to Ya`qub’s exemplary character. God (swt) describes him as the possessor of divine knowledge.

In Tafheem, Al Maududi best explains Prophet Ya`qub’s (as) state:

In short, as far as it was humanly possible, he took all the precautionary measures to avoid every possible risk. On the other hand, he always kept this thing in view (and expressed it) that no human precautionary measure could avert the enforcement of Allah’s will, and that the real protection was Allah’s protection: and that one should not rely on the precautionary measures but on the favour of AIlah. Obviously only that person who has the real knowledge can keep such a balance in his words and deeds, who knows what kind of efforts are demanded of his human faculties bestowed by Allah for the solution of worldly problems, who also realizes that it is Allah alone Who has the power to make them a success or a failure. This is “what most people do not understand”. Some of them rely merely on their efforts and measures and discard trust in Allah; while there are others who rely merely on “trust in AIlah” and do not adopt any practical measure to solve their problem. ((http://www.tafheem.net/tafheem.html))

This is a lesson for parents to approach any problem they encounter with a practical solution that considers worldly causes or consequences to mundane matters without negating the power of God (swt) and His will to the outcome of their affairs. Prophet Ya`qub (as) also serves as a role model in his gentle approach to parenting where he instructs but also constantly reminds of God’s (swt) presence both through words and through actions.

Ya`qub’ s Hopefulness: A Tenacious Supplicator

The events that follow further deteriorate the sons’ relationship with their father.  Yusuf (as) who now has an established status in the land has plans to reunite the family.  Benjamin, accused of stealing, is held back in the palace with Yusuf (as). Yusuf’s (as) brothers return to their dad in despair with the eldest son refusing to reunite with his father. He held himself accountable for Benjamin’s safety.  Prophet Ya`qub (as) is deeply saddened, but never fails to return to God (swt) and supplicate for the safe comeback of his children. In the beginning verses, he seeks “sweet patience.” He does the same now while referring to God (swt) as the All-knowing. Even though he felt tremendous grief over Yusuf (as), he did not despair from the mercy of God (swt), and he relays that to his sons as he asks them to continue searching for Yusuf (as). This indicates that Ya`qub (as) did not shun his sons out completely but continued to remind them to take heed in God (swt) and gave them counsel.

“O my sons, go and find out about Joseph and his brother and despair not of relief from Allah. Indeed, no one despairs of relief from Allah except the disbelieving people.” (Qur’an, 12:87)

Yaqub’s Certitude: A Trait of a Sound Heart

Ya`qub (as) continued to call his sons to submission and repentance through a relationship tempered with mercy and patience. His rhetoric in the Qur’an indicates a state of unremitting reliance on God (swt), with the initiative to continue his service to humanity through da`wah (call to God’s religion).  In this case, da`wah was to his closest family members, his own sons. God (swt) also instructed the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ to invite his family to Islam first and foremost:

“And warn your closest kindred.” (Qur’an 26:214)

This kind of gentle rhetoric no doubt caused the children to feel remorse. Their wrong actions, of plotting against Yusuf (as), were spurred by the motive of seeking their father’s undivided attention. Their father did not desert them but continued to guide them while turning to God (swt) to seek solace and patience. His certitude that the dream would unfold kept him steadfast.Prophet Ya`qub (as) exemplifies how parents should carry their responsibilities towards their children even when they are in a state of rebellion. His actions reflect a sound heart, connected to God (swt) through worship and solely seeking His pleasure. Believers cannot but ponder upon his exemplary character and consider the malleable character of human beings. Yusuf’s (as) brothers underwent major moral changes stemming from a change of heart and consequently evolved from wrong doers to remorseful human beings who sought repentance and asked their father to pray for their forgiveness. It was God’s (swt) decree through all the events, to reunite Ya`qub’s (as) family with Yusuf (as) in a beautiful scene where the dream unfolds to reality.

As a parent, Ya`qub (as) suffered through the disobedience of his sons but remained involved in their lives with a mission to rekindle their faith. His “authoritative parenting style” portrays him as a “nurturing” and “responsive” parent who expected his sons to behave morally and consequently, he sought every effort through worship and counsel to propagate their repentance.   Each tribulation brought him closer to His creator. Ultimately, God (swt) does not waste the faith of those who have taqwa (piety) and endure with patience. As the Qur’an addresses Prophet Muhammad ﷺ in Chapter Hud:

“And have patience (oh Muhammad) for Allah will not waste the reward of the righteous.” (11:115)