“The meaning of life is to find your gift.

The purpose of life is to give it away.”

—Zig Ziglar

My teacher asked us to reflect on the above quote. It reminded me of this quote by Rumi that I have on my study wall:

“Everyone has been made for some particular work

And the desire for that work has been put into every heart.”

There is so much profundity in this notion. If each person pursued the concept with honesty and determination and found his or her own answer to it, each life could become a joyous outpouring of gratitude to the Divine!

Imagine finding the time and the ‘silence of mind’ to sit and ponder on what this means for oneself. Imagine then having the courage to make space in one’s life to nurture the talent that is your own special gift of Divine favour. Imagine how generous God is, that He gave everyone a special gift that only they are aware of inside themselves, and then on top of that He gave them the love for its development!

Most of us hide this inner knowledge from ourselves and others. It is a kind of kufr (denial). Just as we are prone to deny God, so we are prone to shy away from acknowledging His gifts to us. Those who are more creative by temperament sometimes cannot hide them (it would drive them crazy to do so!), but even so, they often do not develop them to the point of their being useful to the soul and beneficial to others.

Sometimes other people, or life itself, metaphorically beat the love of our gift out of us. We end up so spiritually downtrodden that we forget what used to make our hearts come alive. (The Qur’anic phrase ‘wronging themselves’ comes to mind.)

Did you love to draw/paint/dance/ride/build/explore when young? Are you a people/animal/nature lover? Did you always know that you were good at making others feel at ease or feel good about themselves? Do you love to ferret away at finding interesting facts, or meticulously manufacture things of beauty? All these things are gifts and all these things can be used for benefit of the self and others.

Whether your God-given talent becomes a career or remains a hobby, it is your intent and joy in it that matter. How can you use your talent to better the world? How can this talent that is from the Divine be utilised to make you grow closer to its Giver? The first answer leads to the second. If you can spend some time pondering and then implementing a way to do good with your special gift, and if you carry this out with sincere intent for God and concern for the world – and if you do it all with joy and gratitude – then the result will be His drawing you closer to Him.

It is really a win-win situation. Do what you love to do, with a focused and joyful intent, and travel up through the spiritual ranks to reach God. How can we even resist such a bargain when He only asks us to do what He has instilled in us to love to do anyway? Could He have been any kinder in His Benevolence?

There are too many people around these days who seem to take delight in telling us that what we love to do is haram (forbidden). They seem to draw pleasure from frowning and killing the joy. This is because their own joy has been stifled for so long that they cannot let others have some of it.

The voice of my teacher comes to mind. There are very few things that are haram, he says; a few foods and drinks, gambling, riba (usury), and anything in the arena of illicit sexual encounters. These are all things that people whose hearts are joyful would not find pleasure in engaging with anyway. Perhaps it is because the haram are so few that some people seem to delight in hunting around for more things to add to the list!

What if the frowning and finger-wagging people turned into smiling people (it is sunnah – tradition of the Prophet ﷺ – after all!) and said to you, “Follow your heart and worship your Lord through the gifts and talents that He gave you.” Imagine how empowered that could make you feel. There is no ‘one size fits all’ to the extramural parts of religious life. When we look at the lives of successful worshippers of the past that is what we see.

In days gone by, pious Muslims would acquire some knowledge or a skill and then travel and ‘seek their fortune’ just as people of all faiths did. They would set off without fear, completely relying on God. They would do some work or trade along the way, and have great adventures—all the while learning about life, purifying their characters and making the internal journey to travel closer to their Lord.

Or, they might stay put and become craftsmen and artisans, making their daily toils an expression of love for the Divine. They would have the mindset of gratitude for the skills they had learned and would offer up their effort of beauty to God, knowing that when people benefitted from them, they would have fulfilled their own divine purpose.

People have moved a long way away from such lofty mindsets. Work, careers, craftsmanship, artistry; they have all become a means to material gain or to building egos. They have lost the soul that was originally imbibed within them.

Yet it is possible to return to and revive the soul of our endeavours, with a fairly simple tweak of orientation. Turn your face towards God and realise that He gave you talents. Take some quiet time to sit and think deeply about what you love to do and what you are good at. And then take it a step further and think how you can better the world with it. Find your place with your Lord, and see what He has given you to do. Put a Rumi quote up on your wall, and begin. The journey is guaranteed to be joyful!

To my dearest daughter,

As a mother, there is so much that I wish I could teach you from my experiences. And I constantly worry that I will not be able to do so; that I will fail to teach you the most important of life lessons, getting caught up in the grind of everyday happenings. I also fear I will not be able to protect you from all the harms and hurts that will come your way. At times I wish I could build a shield, hug you tightly in my arms and never let you go. And yet I know that one day, this bundle of joy in my arms will grow up. She will leave the nest and go face the world. And I also know, deep in my heart, that every good, bad, ease, hardship, pain and joy that comes your way is not in my control and never will be.  All I can do is help prepare you for this journey we call life. So if there is one lesson I wish I could teach you about life, it is this:

Don’t let your source of happiness be the externals in your life. Rather, let your sense of happiness derive from the internal, that is, within yourself.

It is true; there are many external things that will give you happiness. Toys, new clothes and shoes, yummy food, mouthwatering desserts, vacations, hanging out with friends, love from your parents, a new room, a fabulous job, admission to a prestigious university, your life partner and your children. All these things will undoubtedly bring much joy to your life, insha’Allah (God willing). However, what one needs to realize is that all these things are temporary, and hence the pleasure they cause is also temporary. Those very same friends who brought so much laughter into your life may one day move away from you and get busy with their own lives. That cake on which you were happily munching will finish. That new room/house you were excitedly decorating will get old. That spouse whose words made your heart melt with joy will say words that will make your heart ache with pain. Those same people who were admiring and praising you yesterday will be criticizing you tomorrow. Those parents who showered you with love and care will also scold you, discipline you and one day, they will die, leaving you feeling broken and empty.

Such is the nature of this world. It is a roller coaster ride. The more your happiness depends upon places, things and people, the more disappointed you will be. Why? Because the very things upon which you are depending are temporary and imperfect by nature. So what should one do? Lose all hope and thrive on hopelessness? No, the answer is for us to have hopes in the being that is perfect, free from flaw, the ever-living, the best of helpers. And that, my dear daughter, is Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He). He alone will help you when all else fails. He alone knows your fears and will remove those fears from your heart. He alone knows the number of teardrops you have shed and why.  He alone will respond to your calls whenever you call upon Him. He alone will love you unconditionally even when you have messed up. He alone will forgive you, even when you do not deserve to be forgiven. He alone will continue to care for you even when you have forgotten Him. He alone will heal your heart, when the world has broken it.

Whoever holds on tightly to Allah (swt) has held on to the best of handholds. Such a person will never feel lost, alone or scared.

Your strongest weapon in this world, my beloved daughter, is the light of iman (faith) in your heart. It is this light which should be your source of happiness. Trust me. You will be able to face all kinds of situations and circumstances, even the most difficult of them, with happiness and ease, if you make Allah (swt) your source of happiness. This is the path to ultimate peace and joy.

When I was seven years old, I used to attend a halaqa (religious lesson). We would learn what I would call today the Islam of “no’s”. One summer day upon entering class, my teacher and I got into this dialogue.

“What is this?” My teacher glared at the shiny bracelet around my tanned wrist.

“It’s a bracelet; my grandmother got it for me.” I said nonchalantly.

“Didn’t I tell you jewelry is haram [forbidden]?”

“But it’s silver. Boys can wear silver. My grandma got it for my birthday.”

“Didn’t I tell you it is haram to celebrate birthdays?” His expression was more serious.

“But all we did was go to McDonald’s and eat chicken nuggets.”

“Didn’t I tell you McDonald’s is haram?!”

Seriously, that’s what happened. Growing up, many Muslims constantly heard the word “no”. “No, you can’t do that”, “no you can’t eat that”, “no you can’t see that/listen to that/touch that”. I heard a joke once that some masjids (mosques) should be called “No Happiness Allowed” Centers. Surely, boundaries are necessary in life, but what happens when we focus entirely on them?

When we are constantly reminded with what we are forbidden to do, we develop a relationship with God that is based on fear and anxiety. Psychologically, a self-destructive trend develops: a trend of fear of punishment, worry about going to hell and a constant feeling of guilt which overcomes the joy of God’s presence and blessings in our lives. Some of our brothers and sisters have developed severe obsessive-compulsive disorder because of this trend. The term is called scrupulosity and it is a dangerous and sad state of being. I once consulted a brother who would take one hour to make wudu’ (ablution) and two to three hours to pray. He would repeat rituals over and over again until he got them perfect. He did this out of fear that his prayer would not be accepted due to his wrong impression of God as powerful and judgmental. I have personally worked with clients who had psychotic breakdowns as a result of this mentality. May the Divine help us.

One of the ways I help such people is by asking clients to re-frame their perception of Islam as a “Yes Religion”. Everything is, by default, halal (permissible) except for what has been made haram. Islam is not merely a religion of regulations and deprivations. We have to look at the “yes” side, the plus side, the blessings and gifts God has actually given us. Living Islam is a path that gives much more than it takes.

Reflect on this:

• We get 24 hours a day, and we are expected to spend about 25 to 30 minutes of the day connecting with our Creator through prayer. That is 1.7% of the day in prayer. The rest is our time. We have twelve months a year. Only one month a year, God asks us to practice self-discipline through fasting and focusing on His worship. Through this fast, we still get to eat and drink by sunset and gain physical and psycho-spiritual benefits. That is 92% percent of the year left to us to eat whenever we wish.
• Yes, God asks us to give about 2.5% of our wealth to those in need, those less privileged than us. But, you still get to keep about 97.5% of your wealth and assets.
• If we are financially and physically able, God calls on us to make pilgrimage to Mecca only one time in our whole life, in return for His forgiveness! Not once a year, not once a decade, but once in our entire life. If you live to be 80 years old, performing one hajj requires only about 0.017% of your time. We can eat and drink everything except the few things which are harmful to us: pork, alcohol, and carnivores like lions, tigers and bears, which are not a common food source for human beings anyway. Other than that, you may enjoy all kinds of food and drink.

There are many more examples that show that Islam is a “Yes Religion”. Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said ”yes” to nearly all requests that came his way, as well as:

• Forgiving people and being patient in the face of wrongdoings.
• Flexibility and tolerance to other people’s culture and customs
• Letting everyone accept da`wa (the call to Islam) in their own time, without passing judgments
• Helping and supporting others
• Being optimistic, friendly, and meeting people with a smile

It has even been said that if it were not for the “no” in the shahada (there is no god other than God), the Prophet ﷺ might have never used the word.

I encourage you to reframe your perspective and make your own list of how Islam gives more than it takes. Focus on what Islam offers more than what it forbids. Let’s get back to this “yes” mentality. Let’s acknowledge the gifts and the blessings, and appreciate all that God has granted us. Let’s turn towards God with love. Let’s pray because we want to. Let’s find joy in existence and look forward to meeting our Lord.

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Karim Serageldin is a dedicated psychologist with years of experience working with the Muslim community. His practice is called Noor Psychology and he facilitates workshops, counseling and life coaching, with an integrated approach of Islamic spiritual values, contemporary psychology and scientific research.

By Maham Masood

An elder relative once said to me, “There’s joy in remembrance.” At the naive age of 10, I assumed he meant having lived a life that’s full of good memories.

Upon reflection now, I think he meant it in a different context. I think he meant the joy in doing dhikr, remembrance of Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala, exalted is He‎). Isn’t it wonderful to remember Him in all aspects of life? Because remembering Him provides us the stability our thoughts require. The barakah (blessings) our plans require. The humility His Magnificence brings in us mere mortals. We are reminded of the ayah (verse):

“Verily in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest,” (Qur’an, 13:28).

The four seasons are just one of the many examples of such remembrance for me. Changes in the weather remind me how man has no control over the seasonal weather and how God has control over everything. The chilly winters remind me of the gratitude I should feel when I come home to a centrally heated house or the warm clothes I wear when I step out. It reminds me to not only reflect, but to also give back through donating my winter clothes or buying hot food for those in need.

After the hardship of winters comes relief in spring. The flowers and the colors in bloom, subhan’Allah (glory to God)! It makes me wonder what Paradise will be like which in reality is beyond anything we can imagine as said in the Qur’an:

“And [as for all such believers,] no human being can imagine what blissful delights, as yet hidden, await them [in the life to come] as a reward for all that they did,” (Qur’an, 32:17).

The spring reminds me of His beauty for He is al-Jameel (the Absolute Beautiful) and how He bestows His loves for us in all things beautiful. This is a blessing to have not only the outer sight but also the inner sight to recognise the sights that surround us. Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (peace be upon him) said: “Allah is beautiful and He loves beauty,” [Sahīh Muslim (911)].

The summer is a time for family vacations in many countries, and festive events and the sunshine generally puts everyone in happy mode. When you fast in this heat, how do you feel? There are poor people who feel like that 365 days a year. When I apply sun block, I remember the hellfire and realise no form of protection will give me shade except for my obedience, good deeds and His Mercy.

The autumn is another palette of colors. From Johannesburg to Chicago, the colors of the fall are breathtaking. They make me stop for a moment by the neat rows of autumn trees in the pretty lanes of my neighbourhood and thank Allah (swt) that I see this sight rather than torn down buildings from drone attacks and natural disasters. Autumn also provides an opportunity to reflect on the past summer and the oncoming winters. What we achieved this year, how was our Ramadan and what can we do better in the New Year given the opportunity. Life is all about continuous improvement and gratitude. Indeed Allah (swt) says: “If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor],”(Qur’an, 14:7).

May He increase us in our remembrance of Him, in gratitude, and in recognition of all the signs He sends our way for reflection.