Q: Why do you create this training and why do you think it’s important?

A: I created this training because a lot of times a simple awareness of religious beliefs / cultural practices can make a big difference in a patient’s care. Healthcare providers care for patients from all walks of life, including many Muslims, and a basic understanding of Islam would help make a patient’s visit a little more comfortable.

Q: Have healthcare professionals been open to your advice on how to work with the Muslim community?

A: Yes, the response and demand for this lecture has actually been overwhelmingly positive and encouraging. I get many notes of appreciation for shedding light on a topic that doesn’t get a lot of exposure.

Q: How do you recommend we go about creating similar training in our healthcare settings?

A: The training is basically a simple introduction to the tenets of faith and how those play a role in the life of an average Muslim. I think anyone with a good foundational understanding of Islam and an ability to present material in an interesting manner can do the same thing. Keep it simple and focus on the basics; you’ll be surprised by how much people don’t know about Islam and how much they appreciate the similarities that exist within the Abrahamic faiths.

Q: What would be your biggest piece of advice for a healthcare professional working with a Muslim patient? 

A: My biggest piece of advice for a healthcare professional, whether working with a Muslim patient or not, is to leave your baggage at the door. Practice the “care” in healthcare by practicing cultural humility. You are there to care for your patient and you can best do that by appreciating the role their culture/faith plays in their life.

Photo: Alphafish DMPaine

Names of Allah Series:  Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII | Part IX | Part X | Part XI | Part XII | Part XIII | Part XIV | Part XV | Part XVI | Part XVII | Part XVIII | Part XIX | Part XX | Part XXI | Part XXII | Part XXIII | Part XXIV | Part XXV | Part XXVI | Part XXVII | Part XXVIII | Part XXIX | Part XXX |Part XXXI | Part XXXII | Part XXXIII | Part XXXIV | Part XXXV | Part XXXVI |Part XXXVII | Part XXXVIII | Part XXXIX | Part XXXX | Part XXXXI | Part XXXXII | XXXXIII

I’m sure we’ve all felt this at some point: the frustration that comes with not being able to get something right. Or the anxiety that is felt as a result of lost time. Maybe even the despair because it seems too late. Why can’t we ever get it right? If only there was someone to take us by the hand—someone who would be patient with us, understand our difficulties, and pick us up when we fall, yet encourage us to continue. If we’ve felt this, we probably do not have patience with our own selves. We give up or numb ourselves so as not to deal with ‘it’ (whatever ‘it’ may be), hoping things will fix themselves. But we should have patience. Because Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He) certainly does—He is al-Sabur (the Patient).

This Name is related to al-Haleem: the Forbearing. We said that al-Haleem is the One who sees the wrong of what people do, but does not hasten to punish. This meaning is present in His Name al-Sabur as well. Al-Haleem then also forgives. Allah (swt) says:

“And if Allah were to impose blame on the people for what they have earned, He would not leave upon the earth any creature. But He defers them for a specified term. And when their time comes, then indeed Allah has ever been, of His servants, Seeing.” [Qur’an, 35:45]

This deferring is a manifestation of Allah’s Name al-Sabur and His attribute of patience. As al-Ghazali says: “Al-Sabur—the Patient—is the one that does not let haste move him to carry out an action before its time, but rather decides matters according to a definite plan, and brings them about in delineated ways.” Sabur comes from sabr (patience)(ص-ب-ر), and the root means to confine or contain (الحبس). So to have sabr is to contain oneself from acting rashly. Al-Ghazali also says that when Allah (swt) brings about an action, He does not delay it out of procrastination like a lazy person would, nor does He speed it up out of haste.

Yet the other dimension of Allah’s patience with us is His appreciation for and patience with our baby steps. A mother carries her child all the time until he starts to walk. When he takes two steps, his parents are excited, cheering him on, even though he falls after those two steps. It might take him months to walk properly. But they are by his side, helping him. Very few parents would give up on their child because he falls after taking every few steps. Most parents are lovingly patient even when their child is slow to walk. Allah (swt) is far above any analogy, but to bring the message home, this is Allah (swt) with us. He is al-Sabur. He is not quick to punish the heedless or even the sinful, and He is not impatient with those of us who are slowly but surely on the path. He is patient when we stray, and makes the path still open to us when we come back. There is a beautiful wisdom in the statement of the Prophet ﷺ (peace be upon him) ﷺ: “The best actions are those which are small and consistent,” [Bukhari & Muslim]. It is better than what is grand yet inconsistent, and eventually fades away.

To me, this epitomizes Allah’s attribute of patience. He is not asking you to be super Muslim in a day and a night. He does not mind that you take small steps to build yourself. We know the opposite: You take one step and He comes to you at speed. The Prophet ﷺ reminds us to “Do those deeds which you can do easily, as Allah (swt) will not get tired (of giving rewards) till you get bored and tired (of performing religious deeds),” [Bukhari]. He does not get bored with waiting for us to get our acts together. He is patient. The frustration that you feel with yourself that makes you give up is from Shaytan (Satan)—he makes you impatient with yourself, whereas Allah (swt) is patient with you. We should remain steadfast with the obligatory, and then add from the voluntary what we can.

Take the example of Suhayl bin Amr. Suhayl bin Amr was one of the aristocrats of Quraysh. And he hated the Prophet ﷺ with a passion—so much so that when his sons and daughter accepted Islam, he tortured them in terrible ways. He was eloquent and would say horrible things about our Beloved ﷺ. During the battle of Badr, Suhayl was captured. Umar radi Allahu `anhu (may God be pleased with him) asked the Prophet ﷺ if he could punch his teeth out so he would never say anything bad about the Prophet ﷺ again! But the Prophet ﷺ shook his head and told Umar (ra): “No, O Umar. Perhaps you will see in him something that you will praise him for.” The Prophet ﷺ was patient. He believed that people could change. Yet after Suhayl was released, he did not change. On the contrary, he joined in all of the battles against the Muslims. And it was Suhayl bin Amr who concluded the treaty with the Muslims in which he refused to accept “Muhammad the Messenger of Allah”, and made Ali (ra) write only “Muhammad, son of Abdullah.”

Could you be patient with such a person? Allah (swt) was patient with him. Suhayl bin Amr (ra) accepted Islam after the conquest of Makkah, when he was over 70 years old. Slowly, he started to change. He started praying and fasting more. He started learning from Muadh bin Jabal, even though he was young and not from Quraysh. People even said to Suhayl, “You are going to him to learn?” Meaning, at least go to someone with more status like Ali bin Abi Talib (ra) or Abu Bakr (ra). And Suhayl was angry with that. He said, “This is what made us fall behind the people [who accepted Islam before us]! I will learn from him.” He finally recognized that our value does not come from status, money or family, but from being servants of the Most Merciful. He was grateful that he did not end up like Abu Jahal and Abu Lahab.

If Allah (swt) is patient with someone like Suhayl, do you think that Allah (swt) is not patient with you? Do you think that when you sincerely intend to become better and you take the steps, no matter how small, that He gets bored or tired of you?

So do not let the fact that the road seems long deter you. There will always be something to improve, and that is a good thing, because it means we are constantly growing. The companions were always evolving. They slipped up, but they never despaired. Moreover, they were not complacent. They knew their own selves. If it was anger they needed to work on, then that’s what they worked on. If it was prayer, then they focused on that. If it was laziness, then that.

And do not be so hard on yourself when you cannot get something right. Do not be frustrated because you feel you have squandered all of your life in play, and now have no time to make up for it. Suhayl was 70 when he accepted Islam. He was so grateful for that gift that he took the steps. The past only matters inasmuch as you can learn from it and from your mistakes. But that is it. What matters is this moment now. What can you do now to improve your relationship with God, to improve yourself, to achieve your goals?

One final note: Just because Allah (swt) is al-Sabur, it does not mean that we should just be wishful thinkers. Wishful thinking is one of the diseases of the heart (طول الأمل). A wishful thinker is one who delays and defers for no reason, simply out of laziness and ostensibly because he hopes in Allah’s Mercy. This is actually punishable. The true fruit of hope is effort.

Being with al-Sabur

1- Make a specific goal.

Been missing out on your prayers? Always wanted to memorize Qur’an? Parts of your character that need improving? Maybe your relationship with your loved ones needs to be fixed?

Make the intention, formulate a specific and achievable goal, and then take the steps towards it. You should be able to visualize it. Start really small if you need to. If you get bored or simply tired and want to give up, remind yourself that Allah (swt) is patient with you. If you are sincerely working, He will not rush you, because you are doing what you can and your goal is consistency. An extra day of life that Allah (swt) gives you is to push through, insha’ Allah (God wiling). So persevere a little more.

2- Know yourself.

It may seem odd to have this as a point in knowing Allah (swt). But in order to set the right goals and in order to see Allah’s manifestation of His attributes, we need to know ourselves. When you know yourself, you will actually be able to see how patient Allah (swt) has been with your throughout your life, and truly appreciate His patience and forbearance with you. You will be able to go to the root of why you do things and make the decision to become better, insha’ Allah.

3- Be patient with other people.

Patience is an internal state that has outward implications. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ tells us: “Whoever curbs his anger, while being able to act, Allah will fill his heart with certainty of faith,” [Bukhari]. If Allah (swt) can be patient with us despite all that we do, who are we not to be patient?

4- Be patient with yourself. Be patient with results.

Remember that the things that are truly of worth can sometimes be the most difficult to achieve, and this why patience is so crucial. Patience is to persevere with God-consciousness despite the odds. As the Prophet ﷺ tells us, “Whoever persists in being patient, God will make him patient. Nobody can be given a blessing better and greater than patience,” [Bukhari]. Patience is the key to that long road to a result that is noble. The Prophet ﷺ also tells us, “And know that victory comes with patience, relief with affliction, and ease with hardship,” (Tirmidhi).

By Shohala Hakim

In the name of God, the Gracious, the Merciful.

“And when he reached with him [the age of] exertion, he said, “O my son, indeed I have seen in a dream that I [must] sacrifice you, so see what you think.” He said, “O my father, do as you are commanded. You will find me, if Allah wills, of the steadfast.” And when they had both submitted and he put him down upon his forehead, We called to him, “O Abraham, You have fulfilled the vision.” Indeed, We thus reward the doers of good. Indeed, this was the clear trial.” (Qur’an 37:102-106)

Above is the conversation between Ibrahim `alayhi sallatu wa sallam (may God send His peace and blessings on him) and one of his sons. Here we see that Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala (exalted is He) asks Ibrahim (as) to make the most difficult of sacrifices. There are many kinds of tribulations in this world that leave us at utter loss and dismay, but one of the most painful tribulations for a parent is to lose his or her child. Yet, in the verses above we see a very different reaction from Ibrahim (as), and more so from his son. Allah (swt) makes it very clear at the end that it was obviously a trial for them. So what exactly makes these people different from us as to how we react to a test from Allah (swt)? A growing epidemic among Muslims today is the absolute impatience with the decree of Allah (swt). Oftentimes we see negativity in everything that unexpectedly happens to us; we completely lose our cool when afflicted with tribulation. And why do we react this way so often? Perhaps because our priorities are skewed and we trust ourselves more than we trust our Lord (swt).

Ibrahim (as) and his son were in a complete state of submission to their Lord—they had an undeniable certainly that their Lord, Al Lateef (the Gentle, the Subtle), would never hurt them, that they were in the good hands of Al Waali (the Protecter). To make it clearer, Imam al Ghazali (may God have mercy on him) said that it does not matter what situation you are in, what matters is what you make out of that situation. This means that we need to realize and be confident in what really matters. Our priority is to be successful in terms of the akhira (afterlife). Our priority is to be in obedience to Allah (swt) in every living condition possible.

Allah (swt) Exists when we are unwell and when we are well. He (swt) Exists when we are poor and when we are rich, when we are sad and when we are happy. So what difference does our state make when, in every state, Al Hay (the Living God) is ever-present with us? Can’t a poor person be more beloved to Allah (swt) than a rich person because of his mindfulness of Allah? Can’t a person with cancer be more beloved to Allah than a healthy person because of her love for Allah (swt)? We don’t have knowledge of the unseen. We don’t know what His plans for us are. But the knowledge that Allah (swt) did convey to us through His messengers is that the only thing that has any value in His sight is our taqwa (mindfulness of God). And the moment we internalize this, our problems of dunya (this life) will begin to look insignificant. How can outward and arbitrary tribulations be tribulations when we know that these events, by no means, can take us away from His obedience?

Some may ask, well if Allah has already decreed everything for us, then what’s the point of life anyway? Yes, whatever Allah (swt) has decreed will come to pass, but the point is not what Allah has decreed, the point is our reaction and response to whatever Allah (swt) decreed for us. Let us consider the example of Aasiya (may God be pleased with her): it was decreed that she would marry Pharaoh, but her forbearance and absolute conviction in the hereafter brought her so close to Allah (swt) that Allah showed her her house in Paradise. So next time we face a dead end in life, let’s remember that the situation at hand is not important. The importance actually lies in the fact that Allah (swt) has given you a chance to prove your love for Him.

And why should our priority be the akhira and not the dunya? Because whether good or bad, our life will come to an end very soon, but the hereafter is eternal. After 50 years it won’t matter if you got accepted to Yale or not. What’s going to matter for eternity is our relationship with our Lord. We all want to go to Jannah (Paradise), but the even the thought of death makes us uncomfortable. Perhaps that is because deep inside we know that we are not serious enough about our permanent abode. Most of us get worried out of our wits when we can’t hand in an assignment on time, but we couldn’t care less about the call of the adhaan (the call to prayer) five times a day. We log onto Facebook every day, but we forget to open the book of Allah as often. Allah (swt) is not being unfair to us, we are being unfair to ourselves by mixing up our priorities.

Our Prophet ﷺ  was never disquieted or agitated in a moment of tribulation. Even in the most difficult day of his life, he ended his prayer by telling Allah, “So long as You are not angry with me, I don’t care.” Agitation at the tribulations around us is inconsistent with the characteristic of believers.

“It is He who sent down tranquillity into the hearts of the believers that they would increase in faith along with their [present] faith. And to Allah belong the soldiers of the heavens and the earth, and ever is Allah Knowing and Wise.” (Qur’an 48:4)

We need to internalize the fact that we come from Allah (swt) and we will return to Allah (swt). We have to remember that we are in good hands. It’s strange that we love and trust our parents so much, yet we do not fully trust Allah’s plans for us— whose plan it was in the first place to send us to these safe hands. We know with utter conviction that these two temporary guardians (our mum and dad) will take care of us, yet we don’t believe our real and eternal Guardian will take care of us. He took care of us before we had our parents. He took care of us when we were in the wombs. He (swt) took care of us when we couldn’t even ask for anything. If He took care of us through all this, how can we think He will forsake us now and not give us what is best for us? Brothers and sisters in Islam, let us be mindful of our Lord and straighten our affairs with Him. The result to this will be that He (swt) will straighten the rest of our affairs for us, perhaps in ways we’re not going to quite understand.

“O you who have believed, seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with the patient.” – (Qur’an 2:153)

Whether through death, loss, or disagreement, when we lose someone or something dear to us, we become overwhelmed by the pangs of grief; the pain of loss feels overbearing as though it would never end. Having to face the consequences of detachment can be a traumatic experience. All we can think of is the pain enshrouding our hearts and consuming our minds. With tears streaming down our faces, our faces contorted with emotion and our hearts too feeling as though a heavy burden has landed—the misery takes a hold of us and, blinded by our tears, we fail to see the light.

But there is a light; a light to behold even in the darkest corner of the earth, even in the murkiest depths of the ocean. We don’t have to drown in the quicksand of trauma. Nothing and nobody by Allah’s Will subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He) has the ability to overpower the underlying depth of:

Inna lilLahi wa inna ilayhi raji`oon.

Verily, unto God do we belong and, verily, unto Him we shall return.

When we actually give some time and thought to reflect upon the words which constitute this statement, we come to realise that there is an extremely powerful and truthful message behind it—an answer to all our questions, grief and emotions.

This profound phrase captures the essence of our entire existence; it encapsulates where we came from and also where we are headed:

Allah

Understanding the statement has the ability to eradicate regrets and past events. It holds the key to finding contentment during those times when we think, ‘Why did that have to happen?’ We can become immersed in questioning, and drown in the misery of relentless searching for the answer…Or we can discover patience by asserting that regardless of whatever has occurred, we will indeed return to Allah (swt).

When we truly understand the meaning of inna lilLahi wa inna ilayhi raji`oon, we find that no sadness will last forever, and that we shouldn’t destroy ourselves by holding even the slightest bitterness or anger within us. By understanding that Allah (swt) is the One, the only One to Whom we belong, we should be able to move on from painful moments in our life (which we should assert as not being able to occur except that Allah (swt) Willed for it to be) and strive for our goal of meeting Him.

There should be no space for bitterness or anger when one truly comprehends the deep truthfulness of this phrase, and we should be able to forgive those who have intentionally or unintentionally wronged us because we know that Allah (swt) alone holds all sovereignty and that even our emotions belong to Him. By forgiving ourselves and others, by showing sabr (patience) in the face of death or loss, and by aspiring for Allah’s Mercy and Judgement, we open ourselves to a whole new level of understanding ourselves in the context of space and time. We can understand by His Will that Allah (swt) is all that matters, and everything else in this dunya (current life, world) is a means for us to reach Him because we want to be able to See Him at the end, for without a doubt we will have to return to Him.

‘Inna’ meaning ‘verily’ tells us that with certainty we belong to Allah (swt), that is, He Created us and bestowed on us our beginning without a doubt. ‘Inna’ occurs twice in this phrase, providing an emphasis on the certainty of Allah’s Ever-Lasting existence, emphasising the certainty of our beginning AND our end. So Allah (swt) is Al-Awwal (the Beginning, the First) and Al-Akhir (the End, the Last). Al-Awwal ul Akhir (The Ever-Lasting) is the source of light in every single moment of despair, hardship, and difficulty where our tears and grief blind us. Instead of allowing or hearts and souls to become blinded by the darkness of sadness, we can train ourselves in times of positive feelings and negative feelings to find contentment in Allah’s Decree, for nothing happens without His Decreeing it.

Allah (swt) tells us in Surah Baqarah, verses 155-156:

And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As-Sabirun (the patient). Who, when afflicted with calamity, say: “Verily! To Allah we belong and verily, to Him we shall return.” (Qur’an 2:155-156)

This is our Lord, the One Who Created us when we were nothing, telling us in His Divine Book—tanzil (sent down) to humans and jinn as a dhikr (reminder)—that He will definitely test us with trials, but that He has Promised reward for those who are patient.

And how do we be ‘patient’ in the face of turmoil?

Just as Allah (swt) has created tests involving struggle, risk and loss, Allah (swt) has also told us how to approach these tests; He has revealed to us that the patient are those who, when afflicted with calamity, say, “Inna lilLahi wa inna ilayhi raji`oon.” In His infinite Mercy, Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala has allowed for relief to accompany difficulty. This also shows us that the losses and difficulties won’t last forever, and that everything which we regard as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ in the dunya is of temporal nature.

No pain or grief or disagreement can last forever, but with certainty, Allah (swt) lasts forever and from Him we came to be and it is to Him we will with certainty return.

This means that the events which take place in this dunya are mere moments. We become so consumed by our grief that we fail to see that al-Qahhar (the Conqueror, the Ever-Dominating) has provided us with light and that even in the most difficult times, Allah (swt) provides ease with hardship.

Upon coming to terms with the truth and power imbued in inna lilLahi wa inna ilayhi raji`oon and proceeding to integrate this magnificent statement into each moment of your daily life, when you are faced with any minor or major losses, you will see a whole new world of contentment and serenity opened up to you, insha Allah (God willing).

The trials faced by Umm Salamah radi allahu `anha, may God be pleased with her, teach us important lessons about how to handle tests, loss and situations in which we do not get something we had hoped for. Her approach towards calamity shows us what it means to be patient in the face of adversity and to recognise that Allah (swt) will always restore what He takes away from a patient believer with something better.

All is NOT lost.

The beautiful way in which she approached her afflictions reminds us to rely on Allah (swt) and to never despair for He is Able to do anything at any moment; Allah (swt) is our Provider, and when we are struck by loss, and things don’t go the way we want them to, Allah (swt) is Ever-Watching and He is the Best of planners. Umm Salamah’s first husband was Abu Salamah radi allahu `anhu, may God be pleased with him, who returned to Allah (swt) during Jumada Al-Akhir in the fourth year after Hijra, after receiving wounds in the Battle of Uhud. His passing from this dunya resulted in grief for she had loved him sincerely; nonetheless, Umm Salamah (ra) did not fail to turn to Allah (swt). Heartbroken by his departure, she remained steadfast in her relationship with Allah (swt) and supplicated to Him for our Rabb (Lord) is Al Mughni—the Enricher, the One Who satisfies the necessities of His Creation. In her grief-stricken state as she wondered who could possibly be better than Abu Salamah, she supplicated:

inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji`oon; Allahumma ajirni fi musibati wa akhlif li khayran minha

‘Verily, we belong to Allah and verily, unto Him shall we return. O Allah! Reward me for the calamity that has befallen me and grant me better than it.’

Allah (swt) then answered her du`aa (supplication) by giving her the Messenger ﷺ (peace be upon him) himself! In Shawwal of the same year in which Abu Salamah (ra) returned to Allah (swt), the Messenger of Allah ﷺ married her. Thus, because of her patience and acknowledgement that we belong to Allah (swt) and unto him we return, Allah (swt) compensated her with reward and recompensed her loss. Allah (swt) alleviated her and answered her question, “Who is better than Abu Salamah?” by blessing her with our beloved Messenger ﷺ.

This legacy speaks volumes of the reward and relief Allah (swt) grants to those who are patient, and those who have tawwakul (reliance) on Allah (swt) to replace what is taken away from the believer who lives with patience. What we are provided with is His to give and take, and it is in acknowledging that He is the Owner of all that we are able to see through loss and hardship, and witness blessings.

If you are facing any trial in the present, know that Allah (swt) provides ease and that the cure is with you by Allah’s Will. Reflect on, and realise that none other than Allah (swt) Knows best about what adversity or struggle you are going through for Allah (swt) is the One Who tested you with such, and on no soul does He place more than that which it can bear—Allah (swt) is closer to you than your jugular vein, than your own self, and so He Knows what you are feeling. The next time you are faced with a grief or loss, or even happiness and blessing from Allah (swt), by uttering, comprehending and believing that our final destination is Allah (swt)—the end is essential for our eternal bliss—through making Allah the means to Him, glimpses of light make their way through your feeling of loss.

For each time that you submit to Allah (swt) alone by not only uttering inna lilLahi wa inna ilayhi raji`oon but by understanding it and feeling its essence in your heart and limbs through acknowledging Allah’s Power, you will not only be rewarded insha Allah but Allah (swt) will return His favours and blessings upon you for submitting to His Will with sabr (patience). Like Umm Salamah (ra), place your trust in Him to get you through any manifestation of loss, however slight or major you may consider it to be, and trust Allah (swt) to answer your supplications, for no du`aa is lost.

No distress or loss is too difficult to deal with when we know Allah (swt), and place our trust in Him to get us through everything, whether we consider the moments as good or bad. No distress or loss is too difficult to deal with when we acknowledge and apply that we certainly belong to Allah, and we certainly return to Him.