When I was seven years old, I used to attend a halaqa (religious lesson). We would learn what I would call today the Islam of “no’s”. One summer day upon entering class, my teacher and I got into this dialogue.

“What is this?” My teacher glared at the shiny bracelet around my tanned wrist.

“It’s a bracelet; my grandmother got it for me.” I said nonchalantly.

“Didn’t I tell you jewelry is haram [forbidden]?”

“But it’s silver. Boys can wear silver. My grandma got it for my birthday.”

“Didn’t I tell you it is haram to celebrate birthdays?” His expression was more serious.

“But all we did was go to McDonald’s and eat chicken nuggets.”

“Didn’t I tell you McDonald’s is haram?!”

Seriously, that’s what happened. Growing up, many Muslims constantly heard the word “no”. “No, you can’t do that”, “no you can’t eat that”, “no you can’t see that/listen to that/touch that”. I heard a joke once that some masjids (mosques) should be called “No Happiness Allowed” Centers. Surely, boundaries are necessary in life, but what happens when we focus entirely on them?

When we are constantly reminded with what we are forbidden to do, we develop a relationship with God that is based on fear and anxiety. Psychologically, a self-destructive trend develops: a trend of fear of punishment, worry about going to hell and a constant feeling of guilt which overcomes the joy of God’s presence and blessings in our lives. Some of our brothers and sisters have developed severe obsessive-compulsive disorder because of this trend. The term is called scrupulosity and it is a dangerous and sad state of being. I once consulted a brother who would take one hour to make wudu’ (ablution) and two to three hours to pray. He would repeat rituals over and over again until he got them perfect. He did this out of fear that his prayer would not be accepted due to his wrong impression of God as powerful and judgmental. I have personally worked with clients who had psychotic breakdowns as a result of this mentality. May the Divine help us.

One of the ways I help such people is by asking clients to re-frame their perception of Islam as a “Yes Religion”. Everything is, by default, halal (permissible) except for what has been made haram. Islam is not merely a religion of regulations and deprivations. We have to look at the “yes” side, the plus side, the blessings and gifts God has actually given us. Living Islam is a path that gives much more than it takes.

Reflect on this:

• We get 24 hours a day, and we are expected to spend about 25 to 30 minutes of the day connecting with our Creator through prayer. That is 1.7% of the day in prayer. The rest is our time. We have twelve months a year. Only one month a year, God asks us to practice self-discipline through fasting and focusing on His worship. Through this fast, we still get to eat and drink by sunset and gain physical and psycho-spiritual benefits. That is 92% percent of the year left to us to eat whenever we wish.
• Yes, God asks us to give about 2.5% of our wealth to those in need, those less privileged than us. But, you still get to keep about 97.5% of your wealth and assets.
• If we are financially and physically able, God calls on us to make pilgrimage to Mecca only one time in our whole life, in return for His forgiveness! Not once a year, not once a decade, but once in our entire life. If you live to be 80 years old, performing one hajj requires only about 0.017% of your time. We can eat and drink everything except the few things which are harmful to us: pork, alcohol, and carnivores like lions, tigers and bears, which are not a common food source for human beings anyway. Other than that, you may enjoy all kinds of food and drink.

There are many more examples that show that Islam is a “Yes Religion”. Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said ”yes” to nearly all requests that came his way, as well as:

• Forgiving people and being patient in the face of wrongdoings.
• Flexibility and tolerance to other people’s culture and customs
• Letting everyone accept da`wa (the call to Islam) in their own time, without passing judgments
• Helping and supporting others
• Being optimistic, friendly, and meeting people with a smile

It has even been said that if it were not for the “no” in the shahada (there is no god other than God), the Prophet ﷺ might have never used the word.

I encourage you to reframe your perspective and make your own list of how Islam gives more than it takes. Focus on what Islam offers more than what it forbids. Let’s get back to this “yes” mentality. Let’s acknowledge the gifts and the blessings, and appreciate all that God has granted us. Let’s turn towards God with love. Let’s pray because we want to. Let’s find joy in existence and look forward to meeting our Lord.

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Karim Serageldin is a dedicated psychologist with years of experience working with the Muslim community. His practice is called Noor Psychology and he facilitates workshops, counseling and life coaching, with an integrated approach of Islamic spiritual values, contemporary psychology and scientific research.

By AbdelRahman Mussa

In a tazkiyah (purification) consultation meant to help change major misconceptions held by Muslims today and survey how people perceive Islam and their relationship with Allah, the results were telling. With 16 questions and over 100 applicants, patterns emerged. The answers for two of those questions really stand out. 

The first question:

Do you feel like you deserve difficulty or punishment?

18% said hardly. 72% replied with either often or sometimes.

The second question:

Do you feel undeserving of Allah’s bounties upon you?

15% replied with hardly. 75% replied with often or sometimes.

This really is quite sad and it points to an underlying misunderstanding of our relationship with Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He). In fact, it’s proof that too many people are ignorant of Allah (swt) and what He teaches us about Himself.

Deserving Difficulty

In a hadith qudsi, Allah (swt) says:

“I am as the perception/assumption of My slave.”

Narrated in Sahih Bukhari and Muslim.

This means that if you think that Allah (swt) is Merciful, you will experience that Mercy. If you think that Allah (swt) is only Wrathful, then your outlook on life is dark and you feel that Wrath.

Also, too much of this can lead to depression, which can lead to a total lack of hope, which can lead to kufr (disbelief). Allah (swt) says:

“Despair not of relief from Allah. Indeed, no one despairs of relief from Allah except the disbelieving people.”

(Qur’an 12:87)

This can also be a doorway for Shaytan (Satan) to lead you astray. Hearts come to resent the ones that show them difficulty and punish them. In this case, the perception would be that Allah (swt) is doing that. It would be very dangerous to resent Allah (swt), yet many people do.

You will also resent yourself if you do this because, ultimately, it’s your perception. Deep down you know this. This can then lead you to want to punish yourself more (for doing this to yourself). It therefore becomes a vicious self-perpetuating circle.

If deep down you feel that you deserve difficulty or punishment, then you will do that which is deserving of difficulty and punishment. That’s the primary cause for so many people sinning. They are fulfilling their own self-initiated prophecy.

Undeserving of Allah (swt)’s Bounties:

Don’t get this confused with being thankful or even overwhelmingly thankful for Allah (swt)’s bounties. It’s the exact opposite.

How can you be truly grateful of something that you think you don’t deserve? In fact, you’ll push it away or mistreat it, which is the exact opposite of gratefulness.

Also, since you can’t be satisfied with that which you don’t think you deserve, it means that you’ll continue to want more. You’ll never feel ‘full’. Always that sense of being incomplete, not good enough, wanting to ‘keep up with the Jones’—though ironically, when you get the next thing… you’ll feel like you don’t deserve it!

It’s not that we are deserving of Allah (swt)’s bounties. It is that He has willed it so. We then become grateful. It would be a lack of gratitude to think that you deserve what He has given.

So we don’t deserve and we don’t not deserve. We are, instead, just plainly grateful. It all happens with His Mercy. Same with entering Jannah (Paradise). We must work and attain good deeds, but ultimately we don’t enter jannah because of our deeds.

Poverty vs Grace

Allah (swt) says:

“Satan threatens you with poverty and orders you to immorality, while Allah promises you forgiveness from Him and bounty. And Allah is all-Encompassing and Knowing.”

(Qur’an 2:268)

It’s really interesting that Allah (swt) doesn’t mention the opposite of poverty first. It would make sense that Allah (swt) would respond to Satan’s promise/threat of poverty by reassuring us that He promises grace. Instead, Allah (swt) starts with forgiveness.

There are two reasons for this that are relevant to our discussion here. The first is that when one buys into the premise of poverty and scarcity, they perpetrate sins. They steal, they sell themselves or their children, they lie, they cheat. And so Allah (swt) reassures us against the consequences of believing in poverty (committing sins) and not just against poverty itself. He is indeed the All-Merciful.

Secondly, it is a sin in-and-of-itself to believe Satan. To believe that The Creator and Sustainer is not generous or not able enough to provide for everyone and everything. And so Allah (swt) mentions forgiveness first, so we understand this point clearly.

Part of poverty is shunning Allah (swt)’s bounties. Part of poverty is believing that you need to be punished. Think about what punishment means: isn’t it the stripping away of bounties? Isn’t it that Allah (swt) removes the bounty of His Mercy from you?

In actuality, the two questions asked above are the opposite sides of the same coin. How would you have answered them?

Spirituality or Depression?

There are people who think that pain is a good thing. They think that their aching heart is a sign of their closeness to Allah (swt). They have taken the path of self-impoverishment as the method for getting closer to Allah (swt).

They believe that hating themselves and feeling that they deserve punishment is a way of repentance. Repentance is the exact opposite. They think they are humbling themselves to Allah (swt) by thinking that they are undeserving  of Allah (swt)’s bounties.

I read and hear famous people say things like: “O Allah (swt), my heart is bursting with pain for you.” Haven’t they heard the ayah (verse):

“Those who have believed and whose hearts are assured by the remembrance of Allah . Unquestionably, by the remembrance of Allah hearts are assured.”

(Qur’an 13:28)

If you’re feeling pain in your heart, this is not tranquility. Don’t think it’s coming from your love to Allah (swt), you’re very wrong. You’re very likely to be sinning as well.

Read these verses:

“O mankind, what has deceived you concerning your Lord, the Generous, Who created you, proportioned you, and balanced you?.”

(Qur’an 82:6-7)

When you think that Allah (swt) needs or wants your pain, you are being lured away from the Most Generous. You have been deceived into thinking that He is not Generous.

And to conclude, Allah (swt) says:

“What would Allah do with your punishment if you are grateful and believe? And ever is Allah Appreciative and Knowing.”

(Qur’an 4:147)

Tazkiyah and austerity is the process of being so full and tranquil on the inside with love for Allah (swt) that you don’t care what worldly good you have or do not have. When difficulty afflicts you, it feels like a breeze on your skin, it doesn’t shake you.

If you’d like your free tazkiyah consultation, please go to www.iPersonalEnrichment.com. the experience itself will change your paradigms insha’Allah (God willing).

Let’s return to the Most Merciful. Do so now. Realize that Allah (swt) is the Most Merciful. Submit your heart to His caring. Decide to shed your pains to be replaced with the tranquility of love for Allah. Decide now. That’s repentance.

Many years ago, there were a people who thought just the same way. Qarun was a very wealthy man who lived at the time of Musa (peace be upon him). Qarun was given so many treasures that the very keys to those treasures “would have been a burden to a body of strong men.” (Qur’an, 28:76) The Qur’an tells us his story, and the story of those around him:

“So he came out before his people in his adornment. Those who desired the worldly life said, ‘Oh, would that we had like what was given to Qarun. Indeed, he is one of great fortune.’ But those who had been given knowledge said, ‘Woe to you! The reward of Allah is better for he who believes and does righteousness. And none are granted it except the patient.’” (28:79-80)

But soon the reality of Qarun’s situation became clear, and those people who had once envied his position came to realize who the lucky ones really were:

“And We caused the earth to swallow him and his home. And there was for him no company to aid him other than Allah, nor was he of those who [could] defend themselves. And those who had wished for his position the previous day began to say, “Oh, how Allah extends provision to whom He wills of His servants and restricts it! If not that Allah had conferred favor on us, He would have caused it to swallow us. Oh, how the disbelievers do not succeed!”” (28:81-82)

As it was for the people of Qarun, the common criterion of good and bad is simple enough. But it is also completely wrong. According to this criterion, prosperity is defined largely by how much we own, while poverty is defined as the loss or lack of that which can be owned. And yet the true definition of prosperity – given to us by our Creator – is quite different:

“Every soul will taste death, and you will only be given your [full] compensation on the Day of Resurrection. So he who is drawn away from the Fire and admitted to Paradise has attained [his desire]. And what is the life of this world except the enjoyment of delusion.” (3:185)

So we may live in this world, and have all the goods and possessions of deception that anyone could dream of, but have completely failed at the object of our existence. And if the object of our existence is, as Allah tells us, only to serve Him (51:56), then it would follow that only that which brought us closer to that end, would be a blessing, while that which took us away from that end would be the greatest calamity – no matter what those things were. And so it may be that the loss of everything dear to us is in fact the greatest blessing from Allah. If that loss brings us closer to the very purpose of our creation, what greater blessing could there be?

It is for this reason that Allah’s Messenger ﷺ said, “If Allah wants to do good to someone, He afflicts him with trials.” (Sahih Bukhari)

And Allah says in the Qur’an:

“And We sent to no city a prophet [who was denied] except that We seized its people with poverty and hardship that they might humble themselves [to Allah].” (7:94)

It is, in fact, out of Allah’s mercy for those people that he does so. Because, what would be the greater tragedy? Afflicting a people with adversity and trials, until they became humble, or providing them with all the wealth and ease, until they became arrogant?

Correcting our criterion is a challenge, but is absolutely necessary. Only when we can break through the deceptive definitions that surround us, can we correctly orient ourselves, prepare for the real test, and ever hope to reach true prosperity in this life and the next.

Originally published by InFocusNews

In general, all behaviours (studying, working, sleeping, and fighting) can be summed in: wanting to minimize, escape, or avoid that which harms (i.e. punishment) and wanting to maximize that which benefits us (i.e. reward).

To motivate individuals who seek help for addictions, this fact is used in a technique requiring the client to list all the benefits and harms of his addictive behaviour. Usually the harms list would be longer and therefore trigger the inherent motivation to avoid harm, pain, and loss. This is supposed to expose the ‘cognitive dissonance’ that occurs in one’s mind in which one’s understanding of the consequences of drug use or any long term harmful behaviour is in contradiction to one’s actual current behaviour. In other words you know it’s bad for you but you continue to do it.

At this point the client will usually either acknowledge and start exploring ways of changing his behavioural patterns or, on the contrary, will try to look for other factors with which to justify his ‘inability’ to change. The third option will be to try and ignore the facts and not to ‘believe’ in the severity or immediacy of the harms listed. In all three situations the client is trying to minimize the dissonance (i.e. the contradiction of belief and behaviour) because that is how the human was created; namely, actions must make some rational sense however crazy it may seem to others.

What does that have to do with Islamic shar`iah? Most scholars agree that Islamic shar`iah (the Islamic legal system based on the Qur’an and the tradition of the Prophet) is based on a rationale which we can understand; there is a wisdom (hikmah) and reason (illa) behind most legal rulings (ahkam). They also agree that every single ruling of shar`iah either brings some kind of benefit (maslaha) or wards off some kind of harm (mafsada). This is beautifully illustrated by the saying of Ibn Abbas, who advised Muslims to listen intently whenever they hear Allah calling “O You who believe,” as He is either directing them to a benefit or warning them of a harm. (Madkhal ila Maqasid al-Shar`iah, Dr. A. Raysuni).

To many this may come as a surprise – it is, of course, in total contradiction to the popular belief that all religion is irrational, illogical, and unscientific, and inspires fanatical blind following stemming from ‘infantile’ psychological needs. Paradoxically, it is also very different to the religious education many young Muslims experience from their parents or teachers who simply tell them, military style, “This is halal (permissible) and this is haram (forbidden).” They are instructed to listen and obey without question. On the contrary Muslim scholars recognised the underlying rationale and logic and thus summed up the goal of Islamic shar`iah in one condensed sentence: ‘the attainment of benefit and prevention of harm.’ Some of them reduced it even further to simply ‘the attainment of benefit.’

Ibn al-Qayyim points to this fact: “The Qur’an and the Sunnah of the Prophet (peace be upon him) are full of rationale for legal rulings including wisdom, benefits [masalih]…” he further affirms “these rationale are to be found in over a thousand places (in the texts) expressed through various means…” (quoted in Madkhal ila Maqasid al-Shar`iah, Dr. A. Raysuni).

Even a cursory glance at Qur’anic verses related to worship will clearly illustrate this concept. We perform Salah (prayer) so that we remember Allah and that prevents us from indecency and evil; paying zakat purifies the wealth, feeds the poor, and keeps wealth circulating between rich and poor; fasting purifies the mind body and soul and teaches self restraint and consciousness of Allah; remembrance of Allah brings sakina (stillness and tranquility) to the hearts.

But what exactly is meant by maslaha and mafsada? Imam al-Razi (ra) in al-Mahsul succinctly defined maslaha as nothing but pleasure or that which leads to it; and mafsada as pain or that which leads to it.

Imam `Izz ad-Deen b. Abd al-Salam in al-Qawaid al-Kubra further defines maslaha as

1. Pleasure and their causes and
2. Happiness and its causes.

He defines mafsada as

1. Pain and its causes and
2. Sadness and its causes.

Pleasure and pain allude to physical realities whilst happiness and sadness allude to emotional or psychological realities. He further divided each of the above categories into earthly and those related to the hereafter

An analysis of what Islam and living by shar`iah ultimately offers boils down to attainment of both temporary and eternal benefit and avoidance of temporary and eternal pain on both the psychological and physical levels in this world and the next.

Allah, most High, says regarding the benefit and pleasure in this life and the next.

“Whoever does righteousness, whether male or female, while he is a believer – We will surely cause him to live a good life, and We will surely give them their reward [in the Hereafter] according to the best of what they used to do.” (Qur’an, 16:97)

Allah, most High, says regarding the harm and pain in this life and the next:

“And whoever turns away from My remembrance – indeed, he will have a depressed life, and We will gather him on the Day of Resurrection blind.” (Qur’an, 20:124)

The Qur’an repeatedly reminds to do that which will benefit and that any rebellion against Allah only leads to harm. It is part of our inherent disposition to love that which benefits us and hate that which harms us.

Allah, most High, describes this disposition:

“Beautified for people is the love of that which they desire – of women and sons, heaped-up sums of gold and silver, fine branded horses, and cattle and tilled land. That is the enjoyment of worldly life, but Allah has with Him the best return [i.e. Paradise].” (Qur’an, 3:14)

“And indeed he is, in love of wealth, intense.” (Qur’an, 100:8)

But how can one explain the ‘pleasures’ that exists in many forbidden acts and the deceivingly desirable lives that many non-Muslims or corrupt Muslims lead? How can one explain the ‘hardships’ involved in many types of worship and in constantly refraining from forbidden acts?

To answer this there must be an understanding that Islam recognises that absolute benefit and pleasure, as well as absolute harm and pain, are rare in this life, but what Islam gives precedence to is either that which has more benefit than harm or that which is a means to ultimately bring about a greater benefit. According to Imam `Izz al-Deen, benefit (maslaha) is of two types; true (haqiqi) benefit and apparent (majazi) benefit.  Harm is also of two types; true (haqiqi) harm and apparent (majazi) harm. The means to attain a true benefit may be through an apparent harm and the means to ward off harm maybe by foregoing an apparent benefit. For example any hardship experienced in fulfilling Islamic obligations such salah, fasting, Hajj or any other worship is only an apparent harm that actually leads to a true benefit. Conversely any pleasure forgone by abstaining from forbidden acts such consuming alcohol and drugs, unlawful earnings or engaging in illegal sexual relationships is only a loss of an apparent benefit that actually leads to a true harm.

Imam `Izz ad-Deen further comments on this: “The Prophet’s (peace be upon him) hadith [says] ‘Paradise is surrounded by difficulties, and the fire is surrounded by pleasures.’” The ‘difficulties’ here are harmful (mafaasid) in the sense that they incur hardship and pain. The ‘pleasures’ are beneficial (masaalih) in the sense that they are enjoyable and desired. Human beings by nature prefer that in which the benefit is greater than the harm and detest that in which the harm is greater than the benefit. Therefore when a person looks at the pleasure of committing sins and then looks at the consequences in terms of punishments in this world and the next, he instinctively turns away from it due to the preponderance of harm over the benefit – except the wretched ones…Likewise when a person sees the hardships and pain in things that are beneficial (masalih) initially he is put off, but when he recalls the (longer term) beneficial consequences in this life and the next he is able to bear the hardships and difficulties with patience.”

Indulging in haram in this life will ultimately bring harm and pain on the individual, family or societal level. This is crystal clear when observing the horrendous consequences of crime, murder, illegitimate relationships, drug and alcohol abuse, domestic violence, and usury on individuals and societies today. Of course the harm and pain in the next life is greater. On the contrary, one will be hard-pressed to find a single shari`ah ruling that brings real harm to individuals, families or societies.

In Conclusion

Allah has created human beings with a motivational nature that is psychologically and physically predisposed to the higher objectives of shari`ah and Islam; that is, to truly benefit and prevent true harm in this life and the next. Natural motivations fit hand in glove with what shari`ah calls to.

Furthermore this is the psychological motivational methodology that runs throughout the Qur’an which is termed at-targhib wa al-tarhib (enticing and warning) to affect the maximum psychological impact on the natural disposition (fitra) in order to motivate and elevate all conditions. Motivation is further strengthened by the promise of far greater reward for obedience than that of punishment for disobedience.

“Whoever comes [on the Day of Judgement] with a good deed will have ten times the like thereof [to his credit]

and whoever comes with an evil deed will not be recompensed except the like thereof;

and they will not be wronged.” (Qur’an, 6:160)

The Messenger (peace be upon him) is described as both a warner and bringer of glad tidings, again appealing to the human’s two most powerful natural motivations. Allahu Akbar! It is an immense blessing and truly humbling to be worshipping Allah based on commands and prohibitions that make sense, and which ultimately benefit and bring true pleasure and tranquillity to souls, bodies and minds in this world and the next.

Can there be a greater mercy and blessing than that? Seen from this perspective is there any reason left for the servant not to surrender completely? In da’wah this is a perspective that needs to be highlighted more and explained in the context of ‘instant pleasure’ filled societies. All praise belongs to the Lord of the worlds who has blessed humanity with a shar`iah that is conducive and motivating to all peoples regardless of time and place.