By Inayah Zaheen

A few months ago we were invited to someone’s house for dinner, where I was asked a question by one of the guests:

“Why don’t you make your mother wear the hijab?”

I love wearing the headscarf—to externally be dressed in a way that enables me to maximize on worship (stop, drop, sujood—prostration—almost anywhere!), but also to be able to walk down the street and very visibly be noted to be a Muslim woman. I chose to wear it not only to follow the wisdom and instruction of my Creator, but also because I believe it represents something else: that I am not defined nor measured by social standards of beauty. I will not lie and pretend it was not difficult, but I love to reflect on the story of Ibrahim, `alayhi as salaam (peace be upon him), and how he was willing to sacrifice his own son in his love for, and faith in Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He). While I can by no means equate covering my hair in public to a sacrifice so great, for me this difficulty was made easier when reminding myself that although I love my hair (not that I’m now bald), my love for Allah has always been, and should always be, far greater. AlhamdulilLah (praise be to God).

I am 22 years old, and I started to wear the headscarf when I was 19, after many months and years of contemplation, consideration and prayer. It is not wholly unusual in my extended family to choose to wear a headscarf, but it is also not the norm. When faced with this question however, my answer was prompt: My mother is a million times a better Muslim than I am masha’Allah (what God wills). When I reach her level, maybe I’ll find myself in a position to give her advice.

My mother, masha’Allah, wears hijab in every single aspect of the concept and word—without physically wearing a headscarf. As well as the fact that my mother lives and breathes Islam, that she has the most beautiful sabr (patience) that I have ever seen, that after her first child died, she grew in iman (faith) in Allah’s plan and in love for Allah (swt), she is also humble, modest, loving and of course – Jannah (heaven) is beneath her feet! She works as a mother with all her passion, and as a doctor with all her dedication. Her determination, strength and beauty are wonderful, and I love her dearly. She is not the only one I know like this—there are many friends of mine who are so humble, modest, kind, wise and genuinely representative of Islam in their every action and word without physically wearing the headscarf, that I find great role models in them, and aspire to have that degree of wonderful character and piety. I am by no means undermining the headscarf and outer hijab, but at the same time I ask you all: please do not undermine the equal importance of inner hijab.

It only takes a few seconds to scroll on Instagram and see the array of hateful and judgmental comments against sisters—headscarf-wearing and non-headscarf-wearing. Sometimes it truly makes me want to cry. At which point did we decide we could demean and belittle others, based on our perceptions of their practise of Islam? Headscarf, no headscarf, half-headscarf, or even bikini—nothing legitimises being rude and disrespectful to any human being, let alone a Muslim sister. Of course, giving advice is important, but when we are so obsessed with Islam’s teaching on dress, why do we not extend this to observing Islam’s teachings on etiquettes in giving advice? On top of this, while Allah (swt) is the best judge of intentions, ask yourselves this: is my intention by writing this comment to make a point, boost my ego, or truly inspire hearts and minds with the words of Allah (swt) and the Prophet ﷺ (peace be unto him)?

Instead, let us always learn from one another. Such an approach can only seek to increase our humility. Instead of: what can I point out about this sister that is bad/worse than me, let us ask: what is this sister doing that is better than what I do? How is she practising Islam in a way I can learn to practise Islam? Perhaps she gives more charity than I do, perhaps she listens with more sincerity to others, perhaps she never backbites. Masha’Allah. When I look at my mother, there is an infinite list of things I can learn from her, and I love that about her.

Ultimately, Allah (swt) is the judge of everyone, and He is the most JUST of judges, subhan’Allah (glory to God). Let us increase in love for one another, seek out the good in one another, and always remember that Allah (swt) knows us all infinity times better than we know ourselves, AlhamdulilLah.

To those who have been faced with similar questions, perhaps your answer will be different to mine—and that is fine! But to those who have ever felt demeaned because of comments about hijab, know that no one can claim to speak on behalf of Allah (swt), and He knows best what is in the heart. To those of you who genuinely give advice, keep it up. I am sure you already do, but also take some time to listen to, learn from, and appreciate the struggles of the sister you are speaking to.

So why don’t I ask my mother to wear the hijab? Because she already does. If Allah (swt) wills it for her, the beaming example of her inner hijab may one day manifest into an outer headscarf, but for the moment, she is my mother, and Jannah is beneath her feet <3 AlhamdulilLah.

I end with one of my favourite hadiths (narrations):

“Taqwa is not in the length of your beard, or in the layers of cloth you wear. The Prophet ﷺ said, ‘Taqwa is here,’ and he pointed to his chest.” (Reported by Muslim)

And one of my favourite ayahs (verses):

“Indeed, your Lord is most knowing of who has gone astray from His way, and He is most knowing of the [rightly] guided.” (Qur’an, 68:7)

We often judge yoga, mindfulness, and meditation as being “new age” or “hippy”, without really trying to understand the benefits such exercises can have on our practice of Islam, if practiced within the boundaries of Shari`ah (Islamic law). In fact, such concepts are firmly rooted in our religion. Prayer itself is a form of meditation if performed correctly, and the more one studies mindfulness, the more one is reminded of the character of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (peace be upon him).

Prominent Australian Muslim teachers, such as the founder of Benevolence Australia, Sister Saara Sabbagh, have also been moving towards teaching mindfulness in Islam. Furthermore, one of the courses about Prophetic Medicine by Sheikh Nuh focuses on the importance of Kundalini Yoga and Chi Kung in order to strengthen the connection between ourselves and Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He).

What is Mindfulness?

Mindfulness is defined by therapist and writer Dr. Russ Harris as a “mental state of awareness, focus and openness – which allows you to engage fully in what you are doing at any moment.”

One only needs to look at the example of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ as someone who was always engaged in the present moment. He gave everyone he spoke to his full attention. Furthermore, it is reported by the sahaba (companions of the Prophet ﷺ) that when the Prophet ﷺ prayed tahajjud, he would recite Surah Al-Baqarah, Surah Ali `Imran and Surah An Nisa’ in a deliberate and slow manner. One can only imagine how long he would spend with Allah (swt) in prayer. It is reported that his feet would swell and crack. He was so connected to Allah (swt) that he would lose track of time. It is no wonder that the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ called prayer the coolness of his eyes.

How is Mindfulness related to Inner Jihad?

Dr Russ Harris further explains mindfulness by stating that “in a state of mindfulness, difficult thoughts and feelings have much less impact and influence over you”.

The process of spiritual jihad (struggle/striving in the way of God) consists of becoming aware of our nafs (soul), and acting in the way which is most aligned with our values despite temptations and inner desires. Islam teaches us a number of values—compassion, justice, fairness, contribution to society, equality, generosity, honesty, respect, courage, self-discipline, and the list goes on. One only needs to look at the way the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ conducted his life to see an embodiment of all these values.

The whispers of the nafs are referred to in the Qur’an in Surah Qaf, Verse 16: And We have already created man and know what his soul whispers to him, and We are closer to him than [his] jugular vein.

Think of the last time someone said something to really push your buttons; your instinctive reaction was most likely to get offended, take it personally, to shout at them or argue with them. However, if your values are to have peace and serenity (sakinah: سكينة‎), patience (ṣabr: صبر‎) and compassion (raḥma: رحمة ), you can be mindful of your instinctive reactions, and engage in a spiritual jihad by acting against those instincts, and addressing the person in front of you in a calm yet assertive manner. We cannot control what is happening around us. All we have control over are our own reactions. It is also our actions, and not our thoughts, for which we will be judged when we stand before Allah (swt) on Judgment Day.

The importance of acting in accordance with our values despite our nafs is clearly noted in Verse 34 of Surah Fussilat: And not equal are the good deed and the bad. Repel [evil] by that [deed] which is better; and thereupon the one whom between you and him is enmity [will become] as though he was a devoted friend.

People engaging in mindfulness are able to deal with difficult situations without becoming argumentative, defensive or hostile. Instead, they meet difficult situations with a relaxed, comfortable, non-defensive attitude and are able to even throw in a bit of light humour. They are comfortable with criticism thrown their way because they are self-assured and self-confident. One only needs to study the seerah (life of the Prophet) to understand how the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ embodied such an attitude.

Mindfulness is a way in which we can become more aware of ourselves, our thoughts and our feelings, and act in a way which is in accordance with Islam despite our nafs and desires. Furthermore, the concentration encouraged by yoga and meditation can be incorporated into our daily salat to make our prayer the coolness of our eyes, as opposed to a burdensome obligation which we rush through without connecting with Allah (swt).

I pray that Allah (swt) bless us all with sakinah in our hearts.

For more information about mindfulness, see: http://www.actmindfully.com.au and https://www.headspace.com/.

________________________

Maria Bhatti is an Australian Muslim. She is a lawyer currently doing her Ph.D. on the intersection between Islamic law and International Commercial Law.

وَاعْلَمُوا أَنَّ اللَّهَ يَعْلَمُ مَا فِي أَنفُسِكُمْ فَاحْذَرُوهُ ۚ وَاعْلَمُوا أَنَّ اللَّهَ غَفُورٌ حَلِيمٌ

“And know that Allah knows what is in your minds, so fear Him. And know that Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Forbearing.” (Qur’an 2:235)

And He (swt) says,

وَاللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ مَا فِي قُلُوبِكُمْ ۚ وَكَانَ اللَّهُ عَلِيمًا حَلِيمًا

“Allah knows what is in your hearts. And Allah is Ever All Knowing, Most Forbearing.” (Qur’an 33:51)

Why does Allah (swt) mention His Name Al-Haleem (Most Forbearing) here? When someone is haleem, it means they respond to the harm that is done to them with generosity, whereas a saabir (patient person) accepts the sorrows and hardships without showing it. Hilm is another dimension of sabr.

The use of Allah (swt)’s Majestic Name Al-Haleem gives us hope. People harbor so many negative, evil and ugly thoughts. We feel ashamed when we hear these ayaat (verses)—that Allah (swt) is aware of these ugly and evil thoughts. Allah (swt), while knowing these horrible thoughts, while having access to what is hidden in us, is Haleem with us… He is so Generous with us even though we have so much evil in our hearts. Despite what He knows of us inside, He is Haleem.

From His Divine Wisdom, He (swt) did not give humans access to each other’s internal thoughts and realities. If people knew what their loved ones thought about them, they would not forgive! This is why there is Divine Wisdom in the prohibition of spying on one another—we are not endued with enough mercy, forbearance, and love to handle what we do not know.

We must remember that Allah (swt) sees inside of us, so we must look inside of ourselves. When we are faced with a conflict, even if the other person is wrong, we must ask ourselves “What have I harbored internally that added to this conflict?” If we become angry, we should ask ourselves, “What do I have inside of me that triggered that reaction?” We only keep theories of Divine and Prophetic teachings. We must work to harbor them.

-Shaykh Mokhtar Maghraoui

By Brother Alex (Dallas, TX)

1. Practice Islam as much as you can

“He who loves my Sunnah has loved me, and he who loves me will be with me in Paradise.”
-The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (Tirmidhi)

As a new Muslim, you will have trouble keeping up with prayers every day, fasting during Ramadan, and the many other practices in this religion. The struggle that we face, with such a radical change in lifestyle, is difficult and will take some time. Awkward moments are bound to happen, don’t fret. You are not expected to wake up at 4am every morning to pray tahajjud (extra night prayers). If you have problems with certain practices, then gradually work yourself into the mindset of worship. A counselor once told me when I was young, “How do you eat an elephant? Just One bite at a time.” Think of it as one step at a time. Pray to Allah (swt) and ask for Him to make it easy for you and the rest will come naturally.

Keeping up with your devotional practices is something that will strengthen your faith immensely. Read the Qur’an whenever possible. Find a collection of hadith, such as Riyadh us-Saliheen, and read it often. You will start to feel a connection to Allah (swt) and you will become used to Islam as a religion and way of life.

2.  Respect your parents

“Heaven lies under the feet of your mother.”
–The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (Ahmad, Nasa’i)

Keeping up a good relationship with your family is essential. Try to avoid bringing up or taking part in controversial subjects regarding religion. This is almost unavoidable, but your parents will eventually accept that Islam is not going to turn you into a terrorist if you stay calm during these tense moments. Gradually, your parents will gain some respect and understanding of Islam and may start to become genuinely interested. This is a great sign and insha’Allah, God will make a way for them to accept Islam.

What you do not want to do is act like you know everything, attempt to debate everything, or overly defend yourself in a way that might make you angry or upset. This will just cause heartache and uneasiness. Your priority now should be to work on yourself.

3. Find a teacher

“For him who follows a path for seeking knowledge, Allah will ease for him the path to Paradise.”
-The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (Muslim)

Finding a teacher to bounce ideas off of is a great way to learn your deen (religion). I found it is good to find someone with as much knowledge as possible who also has an understanding of the English language and American culture. It is difficult to listen to someone with a thick accent or someone with a back-home mentality. When I first accepted Islam, I would drive every day to visit my teacher and I would ask him what seemed like an endless stream of questions. Sometimes he seemed overwhelmed! This is a great way to clarify things you hear on Sheikh Youtube or Google or any part of the Qur’an you are reading at the time.

This will also help you have a real grounding in the Islamic tradition. You will eventually have spent more time learning Islam than most people from Muslim families. Maintain a sense of humility if you do gain a lot of knowledge, as there will always be someone who will be more knowledgeable than you. Learn everything you can in small chunks, no one is asking you to be a scholar!

4. Keep away from debates and arguments

“Verily anger spoils faith as aloe spoils honey.”
-The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi)

Trying to constantly defend your religion is something that will cause you a lot of stress. I remember when I first accepted Islam, it seemed like the whole world was after me. This may happen to different people at different levels, but it was a very overwhelming experience for me. The best thing to do is avoid these arguments at all costs. If you are mature about your religion and display a desire to explain yourself without refuting others, then many doors will open for you. You are bound to give someone a refreshing view of Islam, which is what so many people are hungry for after seeing Islam in such a negative light in the media.

Staying away from these discussions will put you at peace and give you breathing room. A lot of converts are not really comfortable with bringing up their religion because of the backlash they receive. Personally, I recognized that if I just mention it when necessary, I get a more positive reaction. You’ll be surprised to hear “Oh that’s cool dude, what made you pick that religion?” This is always an opportunity for da’wah (inviting to Islam).

5. Gain a connection to the Arabic language

“Indeed, We have sent it down as an Arabic Qur’an that you might understand.”
-The Holy Qur’an, 12:2

This is one of my favorite parts of becoming a Muslim. To be honest, I’m a language-lover and I realize everyone is not the same in this regard. Just because you failed high school Spanish though doesn’t mean you will have trouble with Arabic. There are many tricks to learning the language that I won’t go into here, but there are ways to make this easier on yourself. These methods can be found online or in books; with a little research you can pave your way to gaining an understanding of Arabic.

Start by learning the alphabet and connecting letters together. You can learn this in an afternoon if you know someone that is a native Arabic speaker (but go at your own pace). Sit on that for a while and eventually you will be able to follow along in the Qur’an if you listen to a recitation on your computer or MP3 player. You will start to recognize words, after which you can get into simple grammar rules. I recommend learning common nouns and prepositions first (words like “in”, “on”, “for” and “with”).

Arabic can be really enjoyable, and you are bound to gain an Islamic vocabulary after listening to talks or lectures. Eventually you will know meanings of words like “furqaan” and “sajdah” and you’ll be able to use them in conversations with Muslims. Sabr (patience) is essential!

6. Understand Islam’s organic nature

“Those who make things hard for themselves will be destroyed. (He said it three times.)”
-The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (Muslim)

Coming to Islam will sometimes put you in a situation where you are overwhelmed with opinions that are hard to follow. As an example, one might be told that you have to wash your feet every time you make wudhu (ablution) unless you wipe over leather socks that have been worn from your previous wudhu. For most Americans, the idea of wearing leather socks is something that we find extremely unusual. If we do a little research, we find there are opinions of scholars that mention the permissibility of wiping over cotton socks (even ones with holes in them!). To an American convert, these opinions can cause a huge sigh of relief.

7. Maintain your Identity

“O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted.”
-The Holy Qur’an, 49:1

Being a Muslim is a huge part of your identity now. That doesn’t mean you can’t barbeque with your friends or watch football on Sundays. If there are things in your culture that do not directly contradict with basic Islamic creed, then you are welcome to keep those things in your life. You do not need to start wearing Arab or Indian clothing. As long as your clothes cover what they are supposed to cover, you are in the clear.

Many converts are also exposed to really weird food that is overly spicy or funny tasting. This might lead us to think that eating curry is sunnah or something righteous. We can still have our own culture and tastes in food: pot roast and beans are still halal!

There are many other examples of things that you will be exposed to that are from foreign cultures and do not necessarily have anything to do with Islam. Our goal as new Muslims is to worship Allah (swt), not to add a Pakistani or Arab identity to our persona.

It is good to have a teacher who understands the subtleties of different opinion in fiqh (Islamic jurisprudence) and can inform you of differences among the scholars on issues that are of concern. Most people in masajid will have a very limited view of the juristic possibilities inside the Islamic tradition. Islam is a vast tradition and we should not make it small. These diverse opinions are there to help us, not cause strain on ourselves.

8. Force yourself to go to the masjid

“The person who receives the greatest reward for the Salah is one who lives the farthest and has the farthest to walk.”
-The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (Bukhari, Muslim)

Going on Fridays is a given, but I would also recommend trying to fit a few prayers (at least) per week in the masjid. This will open many doors for you and will insha’Allah grant many good deeds to your account. You will meet people who are connected to Islam; networking opportunities are more readily available; and you are bound to make long-lasting friends. This is one of the things that I really love about Islam, that you can almost always find people in the masjid.

Although this may be hard initially, try and go to the masjid. The payoff will be huge, even if you just pray and leave right after. You will eventually warm up to the community and you can feel more comfortable going to the masjid whenever you like.

9. Find Muslim friends and avoid severing ties

“On the Day of Resurrection Allah Almighty will proclaim: “Where are those who have mutual love for My Glory’s sake? Today I shall shelter them in My shade where there is no shade but Mine.”
-The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (Muslim)

Saying “As-salamu ‘Alaykum” ( “Peace be upon you”)  to people you see on campus or at the grocery store is a real blessing in Islam. It immediately lets people know you are Muslim and they usually will be happy to return the greeting and hopefully share a few words with you. Doors of friendship will be opened and you will meet lots of people. Try and spend some time with Muslims when you can. It is beneficial to remind yourself that you are not the only Muslim on the planet and you share your religion with almost 2 billion people around the globe.

Also, don’t sever your friendships with your non-Muslim friends unless they are constantly partying or using the list of major sins as their weekend to-do list. You can be a light to your Christian, Agnostic, Jewish, or Atheist friends. You never know who Allah (swt) will guide, and showing that you are living an ethical life can encourage these people to learn a little about Islam or change their mind to having a positive view of the religion.

10. Avoid Loneliness

“Islam began as something strange and will revert to being strange as it began, so give glad tidings to the strangers.”
-The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (Muslim)

This is a major problem in the convert community. We are lonely. The best thing we can do to fight the feeling of loneliness is to spend as much time as possible with good company. Having dinners with people a few nights a week is a sure way to maintain a good attitude. The practice of becoming a nun or a monk is alien to Islam; we are social creatures and Islam recognizes this.

Try not to lock yourself away in your apartment to avoid the world. This will just cause a vicious cycle that will cause deep depression and can lead to searching for solace in haram (unlawful).

Make it an obligation on yourself to remain a sociable human being. It takes a lot of work but the result is happiness and contentment in life.

11. Stay away from extremism

“And thus we have made you a just community that you will be witnesses over the people.”
-The Holy Qur’an, 2:143

Most converts do not enter Islam looking for an extremist point of view. Unfortunately, we have seen some converts do end up overseas working for terrorist organizations. This is something that can happen from a person feeling victimized or ostracized by their own culture and being overcome with anger.

I personally have not had a problem with anyone trying to “radicalize” me. It does happen enough though that it should be a concern. It will be best for you to keep your head on your shoulders and not get caught up with extreme points of view. Know that all of the scholars overseas and in America have absolutely refuted terrorism in their fatawa (legal rulings). Extremism is on the very edges of the Islamic thought. Do your best to stay on a middle way.

12. Do not despair

“So know that victory is with patience, and relief is with distress and that with hardship comes ease.”
-The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ

Being a convert to Islam, you will face a lot of tribulations. There is not anything that you cannot overcome though, and never despair in Allah (swt).

Allah (swt) guided to you to Islam, you searched for the answer and you found it. Be happy and constantly remind yourself of the blessings in your life. There are a lot of good things that will happen to you and you are on the straight road to Jannah (paradise). Rejoice in being Muslim. Remember the Sahabah (companions) were all converts to Islam and they were human beings that came from Adam and Eve just like you! Be strong and find comfort in your prayers and worship to Allah (swt). The first six months were the hardest for me, and insha’Allah we will all continue to grow as a convert community in America.

For the believer, Istiqaamah is a virtue that cannot be done without. It’s a quality that we continually strive to attain although we may fail at times. In this age where fitaan (tribulations) have become widespread and open sins are the norm, many people have lost the istiqaamah they once had in them – the strength to stay upon the straight path.

Imam Suhaib shared some tips with us on how to have istiqaamah:

1) Have a strong relationship with Allah: The best way is with His Wahi (revelation), the Qur’an. Ibn Taymiyyah said, “If you want to taste the sweetness of emaan, then upon you is the Book of Allah.”

2) Have a strong relationship in worshipping Allah: The da’ee (one who calls people to Allah) needs to pray his sunnah and he better be praying witr. The pious predecessors used to say, “be hard on yourself and be easy on the people.” We should strive to increase in our worship and perform the nawafil acts to come closer to Allah.

3) Have good friends that will support you: Befriend those that motivate you and are not negative. The scholars say it is not nifaaq (hypocritical) if a person’s Islam and emaan are better when they are around righteous friends because this is part of the sunnah of our deen. Allah says: “And keep yourself patiently with those who call on their Lord morning and afternoon, seeking His Face; and let not your eyes overlook them.” (Quran, 18:28)

4) Choose a good spouse who will make istiqaamah your focus and remind you: The Prophet ﷺ gave us the example of the wife who would sprinkle water on her husband’s face to wake him up for tahajjud (prayer before fajr) and likewise the husband who would do the same to his wife.

5) Read the stories of the pious people. Read the seerah of the Prophet ﷺ, of the Companions, of those who followed them and the righteous people. You will see that your struggles compared to theirs are nothing. You see that Allah gave them strength, and reading that will give you strength.

6) Work in a group: Don’t be a solo artist. Shaytan will always try to get you to leave the community, but he will never get you to join one.

Based off of a discussion on the 21^th Hadith of An-Nawawi’s compilation of forty ahadith.

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV

Our second lesson: Mariam (as) had a deep spiritual relationship with Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala – exalted is He).  We see in her example how a mind, body, and soul can be spiritually dedicated to Him. As we examine these elements, we also see how Allah (swt) rewards and honors her. As such, Mariam’s spiritual journey reveals significant spiritual pillars for those who seek to be rewarded and honored by Allah (swt).

***

1. Tawakkul during Tribulations

From her younger years as a student to her trials later on in life, we witness Mariam (as) in a constant state of tawakkul (trust in Allah).  From hiding the test of her pregnancy, to delivering `Isa (as) on her own, to keeping silent while her infant (who according to at-Tabari was just forty days old) spoke to defend her honor, we feel her powerful dependence on Allah (swt) revealed. We also learn that there are some tests, where one may find no available human support for the struggle to do that which is right, which is closer to piety. In this scenario, Mariam provides us with a glimpse into the power of trusting Allah (swt). `Isa (as) speaking from the cradle was an amazing and unexpected blessing for Mariam, relieving her of the trial that she had endured, providing proof of her innocence:

“Then she pointed to him. They said: “How can we talk to one who is a child in the cradle?” He [Isa] said: “Verily! I am a slave of Allah, He has given me the Scripture and made me a Prophet. And He has made me blessed wherever I be…” (Qur’an, 19:29-31)

Subhan’Al­­­­lah, in the lives of the righteous, many times mu’jizaat (miracles to Prophets) and kiramaat (miracles to non-Prophets), are granted during a period of trial, where the struggle to stay steadfast was rewarded with the relief that only Allah (swt) brings.

And yet we also take from Mariam’s case that her devotion is not only rewarded with relief, but also with success. Today, she is the most honored woman in human history, and she is the greatest woman in al-Akhirah (the Hereafter). Subhan’Allah, one can only begin to imagine what her heart endured for the sake of Allah (swt). Her story is a shining example of the promise:

“Truly the end is for the God-Conscious.” (Qur’an, 11:49)

2. Solitude with Allah

Her spirituality is also embodied in her khalwa (solitude) with Allah (swt). Like her mother and father, she was a devout worshiper who always sought to increase her closeness to her Lord. Allah described that He

“…accepted her with a goodly acceptance…” (Qur’an, 3:37)

Ibn Ashur comments that this is His acceptance of her service to Bayt Al-Maqdis, which is something no other woman was legally granted permission to do before her. He also mentions that the word mihrab comes from the word harb, meaning war. Thus the mihrab was understood as a place where one worships in solitude, waging war against the temptations and whispers of Shaytan. It is a place of introspection, reflection, prayer, learning and du`a’ (supplication). While the masajid we have today are also a place for these things, how often do we really go there to make i’tikaaf (spiritual seclusion)? Sisters, i’tikaaf is for us as well. And alhamdulillah (all praise is due to Allah) in America, the masajid are more female-friendly and stay open. When your iman (faith) needs a boost, remember Mariam, and try to pray Fajr in the masjid, stay a few hours and experience the sweetness of khalwa with Allah (swt). For those who are able to in their homes, also consider creating a musalah area that is only used the way one uses a masjid: a place for prayer, dhikr (remembrance), studying the Qur’an and other beneficial readings, tafakkur (deep contemplation), etc. Sometimes when the heart aches, one reaches for unhealthy distractions and the pain goes away temporarily. When the distraction is gone, the pain returns because our hearts are actually thirsty for being with Allah (swt), and the thirst was not quenched by the distractions. Rather, the thirst grew stronger and the pain increased. In Mariam we see how training the self to have khalwa with Allah (swt) helps the heart to endure and stay strong. We also see how having a special space allotted for this solitude can serve one well on the spiritual journey.

3. Appreciating Allah’s Divine Attributes

Mariam (as) also reflected an appreciation for the Attributes of Allah (swt). Her expression of iman is very practical. Allah (swt) says:

“Every time he (Zakariyah) entered al-Mihrab to (visit) her, he found her supplied with sustenance. He said, “Oh Mariam, from where have you gotten this?” She said, “This is from Allah. Verily Allah provides sustenance to whom He wills without limit.” (Qur’an, 3:37)

The scholars differ over whether the part of the verse, “Verily, Allah provides sustenance to whom He wills without limit,” is also from what Mariam said or if it is a new sentence in which Allah (swt) is addressing the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. Imam Al Aloosi adds that the former opinion is the more correct one.

At least five different books of tafsir mention a hadith of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ where he is with Fatima, and she brings him a full pot of meat and bread, at a time when there was very little food in the house. When he asks her from where she had gotten this food, she replies, “This is from Allah. Verily Allah provides sustenance to whom He wills without limit.” At this response, the Prophet ﷺ praises Fatima and says, “Alhamdulilah for He who made you like the best woman of Bani Isra’el (Mariam)!” (Narrated from Abu Ya ‘la)

The amazing point to take from Mariam’s response to Zakariyah (as), is that as she recognized Allah (swt)’s ultimate power and control over her sustenance, she also inspired a prophet! When the Prophet Zakariyah hears her response he supplicates to Allah asking for a son. The verse starts with “hunaalika”—he makes du`a’ on the spot!

“In that same place, Zachariah prayed unto his Sustainer, saying: “O my Sustainer! Bestow upon me [too], out of Your grace, the gift of goodly offspring; for You, indeed, hear all prayers.”(Qur’an, 3:38)

If Ar-Razzaq (the Supreme Provider) can provide Mariam with the fruits of the summer at winter time and the fruits of the winter at summer time (Tafsir Ibn Kathir), He can also provide Zakariyah (as), a very old man, with a son. How many times are we asked about our provisions and possessions, and how often do our answers reflect our deep belief that they are ultimately blessings given to us from Allah (swt)? How beautiful that such a wise answer would give others renewed hope in Allah (swt) in receiving those things they desire and hold dear! From Mariam we appreciate how a genuine personal example in knowing Allah (swt) is a potent da`wah (invitation), such that even a Prophet would benefit from it.

4. Submission in Prayer

Allah (swt) also commands Mariam toward developing her relationship with Him:

“Oh Mariam, submit yourself with obedience to your Lord and prostrate yourself and bow down along with the Raki’een (those who bow down).” (Qur’an, 3:43)

In this command for Mariam to observe prayer, Allah (swt) mentions the parts of the prayer rather than simply the command to pray, and mentions the sujood (prostration) before the ruku’ (bowing). Imam Al-Alusi explains that some scholars believed in the precedence of sujood over ruku’ in the verse, as sujood is the most important cornerstone of the prayer, and it is the most humble human position, as well as the point at which the Muslim is closest to Him. Both ruku’ and sujood are symbolic of one’s physical submission to the Creator. The spiritual relationship is not just an act of the heart, but also one of the limbs. Also, this verse is an evidence for the fact that prayer did not start with the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. Rather, it was the practice of all the Prophets and righteous people in our history.

As Allah (swt) called on Mariam to draw close to Him in prayer, He describes her response:

“…she was of the Qaniteen (obedient).” (Qur’an, 66:12)

5. Responding to the Mention of Allah (swt)

Can you imagine the state of Mariam’s heart when she was informed by the angels that Allah (swt) has addressed her by name and commanded her by name to pray to Him? What about the condition of our hearts as Allah (swt) also addresses us as a group by name to do the same!

“Oh you who believe! Seek help through patience and prayer.” (Qur’an, 2:153)

Any time we see a verse start with “Oh you who believe!” we should check our hearts as these verses are calling us out by name, the Ummah of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. Will it be recorded in our book of deeds that we were of the Qaniteen (those obedient to Allah)? It is interesting to note that we always benefit in multiple ways when we obey the commands of Allah (swt). In prayer, we find a place of help. Stress is relieved. Sins are prevented. Iman is tasted. Du`a’ are answered. Hearts are softened. Forgiveness is granted… How Merciful is the One who obligated goodness and benefit on us?! How do we feel when we remember that this obligation was given to us in the Heavens. And in the Heavens, in a very special space, in a conversation between only the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and Allah, we were mentioned as well! And this moment of mention, is itself mentioned every time we pray and sit for the tashaahud, as we say “Wa salaamu alayna ala ibaadullah as-Saliheen!” (And peace be upon us, the righteous servants of Allah!)

Perhaps we can compare our hearts to another great woman of Paradise, Khadijah (ra) whose name was also mentioned by Allah (swt). We see in her response, a heart that wants to be mentioned by Allah (swt), and thereafter is overflowing towards Him.

One day, Jibril came down and told the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ to convey the peace and blessings of Allah to Khadija. Hearing this, Khadijah (ra) exclaimed, “Did Allah mention my name, Oh Prophet of Allah?!” When the Prophet ﷺ said yes, she was so elated that she said, “And unto Allah be all the blessings and peace!” (Bukhari)

Subhan’Allah, what would we do, how far would we go, just to have our Creator mention our specific names and say He is pleased with us? The way He mentioned Mariam (as), and Khadijah (ra), we too can be mentioned by Him!

We know from the famous hadith qudsi, Allah (swt) Himself says as related by the Prophet ﷺ:

“I am as My servant thinks I am. I am with him when he makes mention of Me. If he makes mention of Me to himself, I make mention of him to Myself. And if he makes mention of Me in a gathering, I make mention of him in a gathering greater than it.” (Bukhari)

One of the ways we can have our names mentioned by Allah (swt) is through dhikr (remembrance), as well as by joining study circles and gatherings where His name is being mentioned.

Abu Hurairah and Abu Sa`id Al-Khudri (may Allah be pleased with them) reported: The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “When a group of people assemble for the remembrance of Allah, the angels surround them (with their wings), (Allah’s) mercy envelops them, tranquility descends upon them and Allah makes a mention of them before those who are near Him.” [Muslim].

Abu Hurairah also reported from the Prophet ﷺ a conversation that happens between the angels and Allah (swt) when people gather to remember Him and ask His forgiveness. For these people, Allah (swt) says, “I call you to witness that I hereby grant pardon to them and confer upon them what they ask for; and grant them protection against what they seek protection from.” One of the angels says, “Our Lord, there is amongst them such and such slave who does not belong to the assembly of those who are participating in Your remembrance. He passed by them and sat down with them.” He says, “I also grant him pardon because they are the people by virtue of whom their associates will not be unfortunate’.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

Sometimes we forego the opportunity to sit in a halaqa (study-circle) or lecture thinking the information may not be new, but we forget that such a gathering is what the angels search for so they may join and tell our Creator what was said, and the names of those who listened. Such a gathering would be the reason for Allah (swt) Himself to mention our names and forgive us!

***

When I ask myself, “What would Mariam do in her spiritual relationship with Allah (swt)?” there is so much to reflect on and take lessons from. She persevered in her trials armed with tawakkul. She enjoyed khalwa (solitude) with Allah (swt) in the masjid for different types of ibadah. She appreciated the Attributes of Allah (swt) such that her iman illuminated the hopes of her teacher, a Prophet. She was steadfast in her prayers and obedient to Allah’s commands. She did those things that allowed her name to be mentioned by the Only One Whose mention is truly worth striving for.

May Allah (swt) enable us to benefit from her mention in the Qur’an such that we too would be mentioned by Him. May we seek the enjoyment of khalwa, ibadah, salah, and tawakkul. May Allah inspire us to turn towards Him, on the spot, with a renewed sense of hope as Prophet Zakariyah (as) did. May we be recorded with Mariam (as) and the Qaniteen. Ameen.

It was just one of those days that make you want to crawl back into bed, put your covers over your head, and sleep until things just fix themselves. But I crawled out of bed, got dressed and moved on with my life. Why? Why didn’t I just sulk in my unhappy state? Because I knew – al-Lateef was doing ihsaan upon me.

What does going through a hard time, lutf and ihsaan have to do with one another? Aren’t these three different things? To answer that, let’s take a moment and look at someone from the past who knew more about Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala – exalted is He – than any one of us. Let’s take a look at the life of Prophet Yusuf (`alayhi assalam – may Allah’s peace be upon him).

Yusuf (as) went through many trials – so many that we are often reminded to read Surat Yusuf when we too are going through difficult times. He was thrown into a well, taken into slavery, and seduced by a wealthy woman. After all of this, he was also thrown in jail for a deed he didn’t commit, was all the while separated from his beloved father and brother. Despite these trying times let’s take a look at the way Yusuf (as) reacted:

And he raised his parents upon the throne, and they bowed to him in prostration. And he said, “O my father, this is the explanation of my vision of before. My Lord has made it reality. And He had Ihsaan with me when He took me out of prison and brought you [here] from bedouin life after Satan had induced [estrangement] between me and my brothers. Indeed, my Lord is Lateef in what He wills. Indeed, it is He who is the Knowing, the Wise. [Qur’an, 12:100]

Here Yusuf (as) is talking about what happened to him. He says “qad ahsana bi” and then later in the ayah he said that his lord is “Lateefu-lee maa ya shaa’.” So we see here that Yusuf (as) too made the connection between hard times, ihsaan and lutf. But is that connection clear?

To simplify this, Allah had a plan, and as we know the plan of Allah always prevails. Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala, from the very beginning, knew that Yusuf (as) would be raised in status, that he would be reunited with his family, and that the severed ties between him and his brothers would be restored.

Now take a moment and ponder.

In reality we see that each and every one of the hardships that he went through led to this success. But while examining each of the hardships Yusuf (as) went through individually, could we have even fathomed that success would be the outcome?

The truth is, had he not been thrown in the well, he would not have been taken into slavery. Had he not been taken into slavery, he would not have been seduced by the wife of Al-Aziz. Had he not been seduced by the wife of Al-Aziz, he would not have been wrongfully sent to prison. Had he not been sent to prison, he would not have been known as a dream interpreter. Had he not been known as a dream interpreter, he would have never made it out of jail and into the high rank that the king had placed him in. Had he not been given this high rank, he would not have met his brothers. Had he not met his brothers, he would have not been reunited with his beloved family. If we were in any of these situations, even in our wildest imaginations we would have not seen such a happy ending coming. And that is where lutf comes in.

Shaikh As-Sa’di describes this name of Allah – al-Lateef – with grace and beauty. He says:

“From His beautiful and excellent Names is the Ever-Discreetly Gentle (al-Lateef). He is the One who is discreet in His actions that he discerns the hidden and secret, and what the hearts are filled with. He also perceives what is in the lands, of enclosed grains and seeds. He is Ever-Gentle with His devoted slaves and makes things easy for them and keeps them away from difficulties. He makes the path to His pleasure and generosity easy for them. He protects them from anything that may lead to His anger. This is through means that they may perceive as well as means that they do not perceive. He also decrees matters for them that they dislike in order for them to be granted what they love. He is gentle with respect to their own souls as He guides them with respect to matters that are external to them with every goodness and with righteousness. The name al-Lateef is close in meaning to al-Khabeer (the Well-Acquainted with all things), ar-Ra’oof (the Clement) and al-Kareem (the Generous).” ¹

To reiterate the point that Shaikh As-Sa’di made—Allah subhanAhu wa ta`ala knows all and decrees matters for us that we dislike so that we can be granted what we love. That is precisely when Allah is doing ihsaan upon his slave. As-Sa’idi says concerning the name al-Lateef in connection with ihsaan,

“Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala bestows his ihsaan upon his `abd in ways that he (the `abd) does not even realize. He raises his status in ways that he may hate.” ²

It is in those trying times when we feel like the world is turning inside out, when everything seems to be going in directions we do not want them to, it is those times that we have to realize that al-Khabeer, al-Ra’oof, al-Kareem, al-Lateef is doing what is best for us – taking away those “good times” so we can have better, not allowing us what we want so we can have what we need.

But if we do not come to this realization, if we don’t have the proper sabr when we should, then we are simply digging our selves deeper into trouble. We are setting ourselves up for more pain and more unhappiness. Except this time, it’s eternal.

So the next time you get the urge to cover yourself up with your covers and let out a sigh of “Why me?” toughen up. Be patient. And realize that al-Lateef, subhanahu wa ta’la, is doing ihsaan upon you.

Psychologists tell us that human beings go through five stages of emotion when struck with a calamity. Understanding the different stages of grief minimizes the first four stages (which are denial, anger, bargaining and depression) and gets us to the final stage – which is acceptance. I went through these stages on many different occasions, as I am sure you have.

I am not a psychologist nor am I trying to refute the works of psychology, but I would nonetheless like to offer a different view, a Qur’anic view, on how to deal with life’s trials.

Though we do not have a say in when we are born nor in when we die, life has a clear beginning and a clear end. What is sometimes unclear is the journey between the two points. For Muslims, however, the journey could not be any clearer. Allah says in Surat Adh-Dhariyat:

“And I (Allah) created not the jinn and mankind except that they should worship Me (Alone)” (Qur’an, 51:56).

Now think back to the first paragraph of this article. You might think to yourself, “I pray five times a day, I fast during Ramadan and pay my zakat, yet I have an ill child, or still can’t find a job, or this stressor or that.”  You begin to wonder why you are going through this and why you are being “punished.” Before you know it, shaytan takes the helm and you are on a slippery slope of anger and denial.

Before falling down that slope, one must take a deep breath and ponder the following question: is it punishment or is it a manifestation of what Allah has told us in Surat Al-Ankabut:

“Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: “We believe,” and will not be tested?” (Qur’an, 29:2)

Allah tells us that through this journey we call life we will be tested. In Surat Al-Baqarah, He says:

“And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits…” (Qur’an, 2:155)

Tribulations are a part of life but that doesn’t make them easy. We still grieve — but how could we not? We are, after all, a very emotional creation. So how does one cope with adversity? There are many ayat in the Qur’an that talk about different mechanisms of coping such as patience, faith, prayer and acceptance. But what I find the most profound and the most comforting is what Allah says in Surat Al-Baqarah:

“Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear…” (Qur’an, 2:286).

If you stand back and take a look at the whole picture, you will realize that what you have when faced by a tragedy is a choice. Will you go through the stages of grief, denying Allah’s destiny and the wisdom of His plan for you? Or will you realize that what you are going through is something you know you can handle? Whatever trial comes your way is something that Allah has planned and which He has guaranteed you can handle. This ayah is comforting because I, as a faithful mu’min who believes in Allah and His wisdom, know deep in my heart that although the sadness is cumbersome it will not be overwhelming; that although the times might be tough, I am tougher; and that whatever comes my way will go away; and that eventually I will face my Lord whom, I hope, will be pleased with me as I am pleased with Him.

So when you go through a difficult situation, be it the inevitable death of a loved one or the loss of a job or just a flat tire on the side of the highway, take a deep breath and say:

“Say: ‘Nothing shall ever happen to us except what Allâh has ordained for us…’” (9:51).