By Mohammad Zafar

A while back I got into an argument with my older sister, and we both stopped speaking to one another. This deeply upset our mother, but it was difficult to set aside our differences and make things right. I decided to seek counsel from a friend. He then asked me something to which I could only respond with silence: “Will you wait for a tragedy to force you to go back and talk to your sister?”

I had no reply.

I mumbled no, but still knew it would be hard for me to go forward. And he did not need to say more; I knew exactly what he meant. What if something happened to Mom—would we both still be stubborn enough to ignore one another? What if something happened to my sister—would I even for a second hesitate to come rushing to help her? What if she or I passed away without one of us having a chance to apologize to the other? What sort of guilt would we feel then?

Some time later both my sister and I set aside our differences and made things right. She came to apologize to me in Ramadan while I, unable to sleep at night knowing how hurt my mom was, eventually obliged. We had a great, perhaps the best, mediator between us.

Long after that cleared up I still remember the words my friend asked me, which leave me speechless to this day. Was I really waiting for a tragedy to force my hand? Although this is a micro example of one Muslim family, I believe we can use the same approach towards a macro problem of the Muslim community. Do we have to wait until a tragedy occurs to put aside our differences?

Our community at large is at times just like the stubborn guy I was. There are far more important issues than the ones we spend hours and hours arguing over, to no avail. And while some of us may recognize that our arguments can be trivial at times, it does not seem to stop us in a pragmatic way.

In light of recent tragic events, did it have to take the execution-style murder of three young, vibrant students for us to realize that perhaps we should not waste our time with these trivial disputes?

And while every issue deserves its due attention, it is vital to understand just how much. How much time is really needed to argue about which shaykh (religious leader) should be followed and which refuted? Or whether we should belong to this group or that group? Or if one opinion is better than the other? How much?

These arguments typically end in either party becoming too tired or simply too bored to continue. So the arguments can last hours for some people or days and weeks for others. They go as long as they need to until both sides simply become too fed up to continue.

How true the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (peace be upon him) when he said, “I guarantee a house on the outskirts of Paradise for him who leaves an argument even if he is right,” (Sunan Abu Dawud).

Deah Barakat had a dream: “I have a dream to have a unified and structured community.” ((https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B9kIyiqIQAEMCIz.png)) I am sure that Yusor and Razan would have agreed, so why not make that their legacy? These three young leaders of our community were killed but they left to us a challenge—the challenge of setting aside our differences, not rebuking others at every chance we get, and just being there for one another.

If we all hope to be in each other’s company in Paradise, why do we not start to work on it right now? Why do we wait for calamities to occur to know that?

I was able to witness firsthand how not speaking to my sister hurt my mom, which caused guilt I could not bear. Imagine if we could all see how disappointed Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala—exalted is He) becomes with us for the way we constantly treat each other? How would we bear the guilt then?

If you have ever been involved or seen an altercation between Egyptians, it happens to be one of the most intense, yet hilarious moments you’ll see.

Here’s the situation: Two Egyptian men are involved in a scuffle about something. One shoves the other, both are screaming, and sandals are in hand. Intense. And then, something quite beautiful happens. Amidst all the chaos, somebody screams out, “Salla `ala Nabi!” which means “pray on the Prophet”! The guy about to swing his dusty slipper stops, people are still trying to hold him back and he starts making prayers on the Prophet and calms down.

Somehow, people in Egypt have figured out that sending prayers and blessings on the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (peace be upon him) when angry, is like pouring ice cold water over a raging flame and immediately extinguishing it.

May God grant him our prayers and salutations.

I did not bring this up to exemplify the Egyptian people for implementing this into their cultural psyche. I brought it up to illustrate the power of the remembrance of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and to analyze the reasons why God commanded Muslims to do so. Through these we can learn the pragmatic reasons why it is solely for our benefit.

In the Qur’an chapter entitled The Confederates, God says,

“Indeed, Allah confers blessing upon the Prophet, and His angels [ask Him to do so]. O you who have believed, ask [Allah to confer] blessing upon him and ask [Allah to grant him] peace.” (Qur’an, 33:56)

On hearing this verse, most Muslims fulfill this commandment, but often do it without the emotion and understanding of why. One of the most disheartening feelings of going to some masajid (mosques) these days is that when the name of Prophet Muhammed ﷺ, peace and blessings upon him, is mentioned, all you hear are mumbles and mechanical utterances. Where is the love?

Sometimes, we forget that one of God’s most profound favors upon us is that He sent us a man as a guide who ate like us, slept like us, married like us, and lived like us. But he was perfect in his demeanor and was clearly a blueprint to which, if sincerely sought after, we could emulate and strive to personify.

Some people, when feeling insecure about their own lives and their perceived shortcomings, often say, “What do expect from me! I’m not the Prophet and I’ll never be anywhere near him.” Well, that might be true but that’s hardly the point of trying.

Look at your own lives for a moment. Better yet, look at the lives of those around you and take a look at some of the hardships that they endure. Some have lost a spouse. Some have lost children, and some are going through terrible financial times. Some have dealt with murder, others with revenge. Have you ever thought that all of these calamities were in fact faced as a singular issue by Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, personally, in his lifetime? Why? God used His beloved Prophet, the only man who could deal with such stresses, as an amorous gift to humanity and an exemplar to how we can live our lives.

May God grant him our prayers and salutations.

In the year 619 AD, the “year of sadness”, Prophet Muhammad ﷺ lost his wife of 25 years, Khadijah (ra). He also lost his uncle Abu Talib, a source of protection and familial strength. Pause for a second. When people lose loved ones, reading about them in texts is hardly a realistic way to relate to them. The Prophet ﷺ was still dealing with the death of the love of his life, the first person to enter Islam wholeheartedly. Khadijah was the one who covered him physically and spiritually when the weightiness of revelation shocked him. And still, revelation never ceased after her demise nor did he have an opportunity to rest for a long period. He had to move forward and endure. He still had to go home to sleep without the warm soul next to him that gave him so much strength and love. He, peace be upon him, did this for you and for me.

That same year, after inviting a neighboring town called Ta’if to Islam, he was met with a violent response. People rejected him and his message and he was chased out of the town to the retched tune of insults and shouts and stones thrown at his face by children. It wasn’t until his arrival at a private orchard that he was able to tether his camel to a palm tree and sit in its shade.

Now, for many of us, we would have used our favor with God to seek revenge or question why on this depth of abuse would be happening to us. Prophet Muhammad ﷺ did not do this. He raised his hands to the sky and prayed,

“O, God, unto You do I complain of my weakness, of my helplessness, and of my lowliness before men. Oh, Most Merciful of the merciful, You are Lord of the weak. And You are my Lord. Into whose hands will You entrust me? Unto some far-off stranger who will ill-treat me? Or to an enemy whom You hast empowered against me? I care not, so You will not be angry with me. But Your favoring help – that were for me the broader way and the wider scope! I take refuge in the Light of Your Countenance whereby all darkness is illuminated and the things of this world and the next are rightly ordered, unless You make Your anger upon me, or unless Your wrath overwhelms me. Yes, it is Yours to reproach until You are well pleased. There is no power and no might except through You.” ((Martin Lings, Muhammad-His Life Based on the Earliest Sources (United Kingdom:Inner Traditions, 2006), 100-101))

When we are maliciously hurt by others, sometimes our inclination is to curse them or reciprocate the harm done unto us. We can clearly see here the merit of keeping your emotions at bay, introspecting over the event that just occurred, and seeking comfort from the One who actually instills comfort. Our reactionary ways are a bottomless pit into our own insecurities. If we follow the Prophet’s example, we learn to control ourselves and place our souls directly in the hands of God; the One who will lift us out of our despair.

In the Qur’an, God says,

“If We had sent down this Qur’an upon a mountain, you would have seen it humbled and coming apart from fear of Allah. And these examples We present to the people that perhaps they will give thought.” (Qur’an, 59:21)

So let’s reflect. No, the Qur’an was not sent down to a gargantuan mountain, not even the most magnificent mountain ever created. It was laid upon the shoulders of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, a human being sturdier than a mountain, a beacon of light to mankind, and the example we must strive to mirror. Take the time and make the effort to reflect on why we say our prayers over him every time his name is mentioned. And the real wisdom lies in the fact that when we pray and greet him with salutations, the blessings transcend directly into our hearts.

May God grant him our prayers and salutations.

“Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day let him speak good or remain silent.” [Bukhari and Muslim]

When looking at the Arabic language, this hadith is very powerful. The first thing that we notice in the Arabic narration is that the Prophet ﷺ uses “laam al-amr” – the laam of command in the words, Falyaqul and li-yasmut. He is not only advising the believers to speak good or remain silent, but rather it is an order and a command to either speak what is good or keep silent.

The second powerful aspect of this hadith is the choice of words. In this narration, the Prophet ﷺ says, speak good or “li-yasmut.” However in another narration, the Prophet ﷺ says, speak good or “li-yaskut.” Yasmut is from the root samt, and yaskut is from the root sukoot; both are translated as silence, but what is the difference between these two and which is more powerful?

Many times these words are used interchangeably, but there is a significant difference between sukoot and samt. Sukoot is when someone is silent but they still have the ability to speak; they choose to be silent. Samt is when someone is silent because they do not have the ability to speak, such as a mute person. This type of silence is not from free will; rather it is as if they do not have a tongue, and silence is their only option.

In the first narration the Prophet ﷺ uses samt – he says we should speak good; but if we have nothing good to say, then we should be like the one who does not have the ability to speak – remaining silent is all that he can do.

How many of us implement this?

An Explanation of this Hadith

Imam Shafi’i states that the meaning of this hadith is that if someone desires to speak, then he should speak only that which is good. But if it is clear to him that his speech may cause harm, then he should refrain from speaking. Shaykh ibn Uthaymeen says it is as if the Prophet ﷺ said, “If you believe in Allah and the last day, then speak what is good or be quiet.” He also states the benefits of this hadith:

“Silence is incumbent except if there is good in a person’s speech. Speech is of three types:

• Khayr (good): this is the type of speech that this hadith is encouraging.
• Sharr (evil): this is the type of speech which is evil and forbidden.
• Laghw (vain): this is the type of speech that is neither good nor evil. It is not forbidden for a person to speak laghw but rather it is better to keep silent and refrain from it.”

It is said, “If speech is silver, then silence is gold.”

We also learn from this hadith the importance of guarding the tongue. The Prophet ﷺ said to Mu’adh (radi Allahu `anhu – may Allah be pleased with him), “And shall I not tell you of the controlling of all that?” I said: “Yes, O Messenger of Allah.” So he took hold of his tongue and said: “Restrain this.” I said: “O Prophet of Allah, will we be held accountable for what we say?” He said: “May your mother be bereft of you! Is there anything that topples people on their faces (or he said, on their noses) into the Hell-fire other than the jests of their tongues?” [Tirmidhi, Sahih]

Be mindful; aspire to speak only when your words are good. This is better for your iman (faith), a protection for your tongue, and more honorable for you with your Muslim sisters and brothers.