By Tarek Younis

When the caliph Abu Bakr, radi Allahu `anhu (may God be pleased with him), became sick and sensed his end was near, it was clear to him the subsequent choice of caliph would determine the community’s future. As such Abu Bakr (ra), whose wisdom was unmatched save for the Prophet ﷺ  himself, decided it would be less controversial if the Muslim community agreed upon the next caliph while he was still among them; the ummah (all Muslims) most assuredly would not argue upon a choice seen favorably by the greatest of the Prophet’s ﷺ companions. However the sahabah (companions), unwilling to take the position for themselves and unable to find a qualified individual in their stead, delegated the task back to Abu Bakr (ra). Accepting the task, undoubtedly having a candidate already in mind, the caliph requested some time to do his research, and invited the most prominent Muslims in the community for counsel—Uthman ibn Affan, Abdur-Rahman ibn ‘Awf, Usayd ibn Hudayr among others from the Ansar and the Muhajirun (ra).

“What is your opinion of Omar ibn al-Khattab?”

The companions of the Prophet ﷺ, astounded that such a question need even be asked, all responded harmoniously: “He is better than you think he is. There is no one else like him among us. I know that he is the best after you.”

Thus, the decision was clear, the voices unanimous—save only for the concern of one companion, Talhah ibn Ubaydullah (ra). The concern he raised to Abu Bakr (ra) was simple, and indeed comprehensible in light of what is widely known of Omar ibn Khattab’s (ra) character, even to this day:

“What will you say to your Lord when He asks you about appointing Omar over us when you have seen how harsh he is?”

The wisdom contained within Abu Bakr’s (ra) reply to this remains outstanding; wisdom delivered only to the real men and women of understanding, with Abu Bakr as their role model:

“Are you trying to make me fear Allah? [Any ruler] who does you wrong is doomed. I will say ‘O Allah, I appointed over them the best of your people.’ [Omar is so harsh and strict] because he thinks I am too soft and gentle; when he is in charge, he will change a great deal.”

Abu Bakr’s (ra) wisdom entailed the appreciation of man’s capacity for change. And true to his firasa (profound insight), Omar (ra) did. Indeed, if anything, one can relate Omar’s entire life—from attempting to kill the Prophet ﷺ in his time of jahiliya (when he was naive) to his caliphate following the death of Abu Bakr (ra)—as a testament to change which, implicitly or explicitly, made him admirable to so many. People are naturally inclined to hold such stories of change with high regard, because they not only remind us of the transience of our current situations, but upon reflection, they erect large signs above our futures which say:

‘You can become much more, if you so will.’

A Contemporary Model of Profound Change

Another great example of the human capacity for change is el-Hajj Malik el-Shabazz, commonly known as Malcom X. Although people often reflect upon the achievements he afforded the oppressed African-American community or his ultimate acceptance of ‘real’ Islam in Mecca, let us set all labels and incidents aside and appreciate the man as a whole. Here, again, we see someone whose life testifies to change; he was an intelligent young student, turned atheist hustler and thief, turned bookish and scholarly, turned separatist leader, turned outcast then finally Muslim human rights advocate. Although one may disagree on the labels, his own words emphasize mine:

“Despite my firm convictions, I have been always a man who tries to face facts, and to accept the reality of life as new experience and new knowledge unfolds it. I have always kept an open mind, which is necessary to the flexibility that must go hand in hand with every form of intelligent search for truth.”

This was a virtue which made him so impressionable among the young Black youth around America; as a man who came from the streets, he symbolized the human ideal of developing one’s potential beyond environmental constraints. None of this is to say that all change is necessarily good. Indeed, our capacity for change encompasses both extremes of vice and virtue, and it only takes one reading of Victor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning or Hannah Arendt’s The Banality of Evil to reflect upon a modern-day account of how regular people (i.e. you and I) are fully capable of committing terrible injustices and atrocities. Instead, the point of this article is to reflect on our capacity to change; only then, can we will a change for the better.

Ramadan: the Greatest Catalyst for Change

Ramadan is an especially prominent time to meditate on our capacity to change. In fact, if you think about it, the sacred month already sets the stage to reflect upon a state of being devoid of essential pleasures, such as food and water. This, in and of itself, is already a fundamental change, even psychologically. Indeed, many people, especially non-Muslims prior to conversion, almost see it as an impossibility to go an entire day without food, let alone water. But, in time, they do—they change, not only their habits, but the very way they see themselves. It is this opportunity afforded to all of us which is, in its essence, self-revelatory: “Wow, if I can stop myself from these essential things, what else can I change in myself?” But this should only be the beginning—a taste—of your undiscovered potential, and to emphasize this, the Prophet ﷺ warned that whoever completes Ramadan with the sole intention of fasting, will only leave it hungry. And naturally, the Prophet’s ﷺ wisdom is unequaled; he understood, better than anyone, the sheer potential for change contained in Ramadan – the type of change that can mark the difference between Paradise and Hellfire in an instant. In light of all this however, the change I am focusing on here is not only limited to spirituality in the strictest sense of the term, although clearly there is no better change than to increase in taqwa (God-consciousness) and attain ihsan (the most elevated state of faith)—indeed, there are few (if any) changes that do not affect them. Rather, the change I am proposing refers to your very nature, as an individual. Let me provide an example from my own life to avoid unnecessary theorizing.

I used to play a lot video games—a lot—which began at a very early age. Many years ago, in Ramadan, I began to question my obsession with video games; was it really all for fun, or was there something else involved? I decided to use the month as an opportunity to cut back entirely from it, and so as the days passed by, lo and behold, I began to feel more and more anxious. Then suddenly it dawned on me, an extreme stroke of self-revelation which, to this day, surprises me how hidden it was in plain sight (although understandably, as we rarely reflect on habits and characteristics that are so close to us): beyond leisure, I played video games as a form of escapism. Escape from what? Many things, but among others: feelings of anxiety or humiliation; when life was not looking too good; when I was not feeling heard or respected; when I experienced some powerful emotions I did not understand. Please note however that this was my escape, and it should not be generalized to others. There are many other forms of escapism of course (a client in therapy told me about his with Facebook; a constant need to be around others; an obsession with the news or sports), and I am sure, looking back, I would ascribe music, movies and TV shows to myself as well. Now, by withholding these pleasures—these ingrained habits—from my system, things became all too clear, and I was able to reflect on the mental states which previously sparked a need to escape. For example, perhaps I give too much weight to how others see me, and so, by virtue of the impossibility to please everyone and the ensuing feelings of anxiety, I need to rethink my priorities (note: of course, rethinking is an overly simplistic description of what needs to be done; actions intended towards others rather than Allah, subhanahu wa ta’ala, (exalted is He) are more difficult to spot than an ant on a dark rock at night). Now, although far from perfect, I’m able to enjoy video games, movies, books, the company of others etc, at a much different level than before, appreciating them for what they truly are and singling out what I really like about them. It may seem like a small change, but in my opinion, no grand changes to the likes of Omar ibn al-Khattab (ra) or Malcolm X come in one fell swoop; they take years upon and years of self-development, and are only truly appreciated in retrospect. But you have to start somewhere.

Time to Make a Change

Having just provided an example, now it is your turn. What are your most dysfunctional or distressing characteristics? These are obviously the most significant characteristics demanding your immediate attention. Also, take a moment to reflect on the things in your life you rarely ever reflect on, because Ramadan is the perfect time to do so; indeed, we rarely ever think about the sustenance of water in our lives but sure enough, come Ramadan, we do so every day. As such, ask yourself questions such as “If I were to abstain from habit X in Ramadan, let’s say hitting the gym, how does that make me feel.” At that moment, you may realize just how much muscle mass really means to you, and you have an opportunity to reflect on why this is the case. Furthermore, entertain the following reflection: if you could change anything in your life, what would it be? Here, again, I am not referring to an exclusively Islamic framework of change; indeed, a small concern I have with this is that we often limit our perspective towards things that are halal (permissible) and haram (impermissible) (i.e. I need to stop smoking), or even the things that are encouraged and frowned upon, while neglecting one’s very self. Naturally, no one should ever tell you that Facebook or going to the gym or watching the news is haram or frowned upon, nor can they. Rather, I am referring to you as an individual, embodied with a potential to become an Omar ibn al-Khattab (ra) or a Malcolm X. You need to ask yourself, “What kind of personal insight must I attain to change myself to such a degree?” Read up on the great men and women who have experienced major changes in their characters. Finally, take a moment to also reflect on your positive characteristics, and ask yourself how you can improve upon them. If by each passing Ramadan we are left with just a little more self-understanding, we are well on our way to becoming much more than we are today.

If, on the other hand, we only take Ramadan at face value—a month of abstinence—we may have just forfeited the greatest opportunity for self-development available to us. When else, I ask myself, will we find another opportunity to fulfil our capacity for change?

Tarek Younis is a fourth year PhD/PsyD psychology student at the Université du Québec à Montréal, and a long-time community activist in Montréal, Canada. For more articles investigating the psychological configuration of Muslims, visit him at www.muslimpsyche.com

By Tarek Younis

Emotion: an often-neglected, yet significant component of our psychological configuration

Our psychological configuration consists of several components, all of which are interrelated:

1. The spiritual component, as we say the fitrah, which naturally predisposes us with an inclination towards God and good.
2. The cognitive component, which assumes all types of mental processes we can have.
3. The emotional component, which covers the range of emotions we experience, such as anger, sadness, fear, shame, and guilt.

The purpose of this article is to focus exclusively on the emotional component, as it is oft-neglected amongst Muslims; indeed our community habitually focuses on our spiritual and cognitive components instead. This imbalance is significant for two reasons:

First of all, I contend that many – if not most – of the problems we face as individuals can directly be related to our emotional regulation.

Second of all, by neglecting the emotional component, we undervalue the emotional intelligence of the Prophet ﷺ (peace be upon him), who was a mercy to mankind on the basis of all three components combined. We consequently overlook his emotional character, perhaps even reducing him to a man of rules and regulations devoid of any feelings at all. An ayah that specifically highlights this trait was revealed after the battle of Uhud, in which Allah says:

“So by mercy from Allah, [O Muhammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you. So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them and consult them in the matter. And when you have decided, then rely upon Allah. Indeed, Allah loves those who rely [upon Him].”(Quran, 3:159)

The ayah (verse) demonstrates how the Prophet ﷺ was perfectly attuned to the emotional state of his followers– had it been otherwise, his companions would have disbanded. Indeed, the Prophet ﷺ  knew very well the importance of recognizing our emotions; his life was the quintessential example of emotional expression – when and how to express them – with the ultimate objective of developing our emotional intelligence.

What is the emotional component?

The experience of emotions is inevitable. Thus we do not exercise our free will in choosing not to have them, rather we practice free will in deciding what to do with them when they arise. There are several key points with regards to emotional intelligence that must be understood.

First of all, it’s important to realize that if God has created us with emotions, such as anger, sadness, fear, etc., then they must serve a purpose that is ultimately to our benefit. In fact, research has shown that our well-being – how happy you are, how good you feel, etc. – is entirely a function of our emotional make-up. Keep in mind, much like everything else we were given, emotions were created to enhance healthy living but it also carries the potential of being abused.

Second of all, the emotional component is incapable of reason; instead, it requires our rational brain to reflect on the valuable emotional information it produces. For example, when you’re scared, you try to use that information to rationalize what you’re afraid of. It is the collaboration of emotion and reason that results in a whole that is greater than the sum of its parts.

Third of all, we use emotions to give meaning to things. People reflect on their emotional feelings to make sense of their experiences. For example, someone may create meaning via the feeling of calmness that they experience when sitting in a religious institution, and they may thus appreciate the experience in a manner that attributes the calmness coming from God. The emotional component indeed plays a major role in our convictions and worldviews, which is quite often neglected in debates and arguments. This is especially important with regards to da’wah (calling people to Islam); the most common da’wah method I see amongst da’iis (those who do da’wah), I would say it’s almost exclusively a rational approach. I personally do not advocate an entirely rational approach to da’wah as that would presuppose that humans are entirely rational creatures. Rather, we must appreciate that our emotions play an equally significant (if not more so) role in the decisions we make. Significantly, if you speak to people who accepted Islam, not everyone will agree that they converted because it was an entirely reasonable choice; many, for example, say it was because of the love they felt for Allah, Islam, or indeed, the Muslim community. Although the general Western population places a superior emphasis on “rationality” than anything else, do not neglect the person’s feelings in the process. The meaning they will construct following your da’wah engagement will almost certainly depend on the emotions they were feeling in the process.

Finally, the emotional component consists of two processes: the facility of experiencing emotions and the capacity to regulate it. Indeed, the over and under-regulation of emotions is a significant cause of psychological distress. Let’s take the core emotion of fear as an example, and briefly examine how the Prophet ﷺ regulated it. Fear is a powerful, adaptive emotion that screams “danger!” It quickly generates a tremendous amount of energy (hence, your heart is racing, adrenaline, etc.) so you can immediately seek protection. In the time of the Prophet ﷺ, there was one context that we’re sure was fear-invoking for his companions: war. How did the Prophet ﷺ show us how to regulate our fear in these unquestionably fearful times? Did he under-regulate it by staying at home in hiding, overcome by the need to protect himself? Did he over-regulate it by running towards the enemy on his own, without any consideration for his own being? Of course not, the Prophet ﷺ was instead the perfect example of emotional regulation. You see, fear is just a warning sign for danger, and this is an incredibly valuable emotional information; instead of attacking the enemy carelessly (ignoring the fear), or staying at home (overcome by fear), he put on body armor and planned his attacks precisely. Hence, fear is a valuable asset from Allah that tells us to be careful. We shouldn’t let it overpower us, nor should we ever ignore it.

This is obviously an enormous topic. Indeed, philosophers and scholars have discussed the significance of the emotional component for millennia. As such, there were but a few thoughts on the importance of emotions, and I pray in the future we can discuss specific emotions – anger, sadness, fear, and shame – individually by reflecting on their purpose and, significantly, their abuse.

Tarek Younis is a fourth year PhD/PsyD psychology student at the Université du Québec à Montréal, and a long-time community activist in Montréal, Canada. For more articles investigating the psychological configuration of Muslims, visit him at www.muslimpsyche.com

The main psychological reference for the above is:

Greenberg, L. (2002). Emotion-focused therapy: Coaching clients to work through feelings. Washington, D.C. American Psychological Association Press.