It creeps up on you, sometimes—knowing that you’ve changed. You didn’t realize, you still don’t know, how it happened. And the scary thing is that this change was a fundamental part of you. It was all of who you thought you were. It was your destination and your journey. But you lost it. Now, you feel distant from God, Who was at one point your only purpose.

The loss of a connection to God is the scariest thing that can happen to a person. You can remember what it felt like to go to sleep remembering God and to wake up thinking of Him. He was your Best Friend. You remember how you molded your character to be something that He loves. You remember when every cell of your body was energized, ready to work hard for His sake. And most of all, you remember the tranquility. You didn’t worry. You knew al-Wakeel (the Trustee) would take care of you.

But right now, you’re in such a different place. You don’t even recognize yourself anymore. You want to be in that place you were before so much, and you want to know how you didn’t even notice the gradual fall. Can you even go back?

Ask the one who was trapped in the belly of a whale. Ask him how he felt about that fall from grace. The guilt, the humility, the longing that can all be summed up in the phrase he repeated over and over:

“[…] There is no deity except You; exalted are You. Indeed, I have been of the wrongdoers.” (Qur’an 21:87)

And what was the result? God tells us, “And had he not been of those who exalt Allah, he would have remained inside its belly until the Day they are resurrected.” (Qur’an 37:143-144)

So Prophet Yunus (Jonah) `alayhi as-salaam (peace be upon him), the companion of the whale, was saved. He was saved because he turned to Allah and never gave up. We can remain in darkness, if we choose to. It is those, and only those, who believe that there is no way back who never return.

To those that say, “I used to be religious,” or even, “I was never religious”, there is always a way back. When the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (peace and blessings be upon him) tells us, “Allah is happier about the repentance of one His slaves, than one of you would be about finding your camel which had strayed away from you in the middle of the desert,” (agreed upon). He ﷺ is also talking to those of us who have strayed. Tawba is to return. It is not simply to repent after committing a hideous sin, although that is a big part of it. He is also talking to those of us who wonder if we can ever recover or achieve that zeal and energy and purpose. We need to return.

So don’t give up. Don’t give in to that feeling that tells you to do the bare minimum. Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He) would not create you to be a useless addition to this world. You can be something special—something special to Him—if you don’t give up. If you take that step. Why are we reminded by the Prophet ﷺ in so many sayings that Allah (swt) accepts the servant who returns? Why are we told when we come one step closer to Allah (swt), He comes to us at speed? It is to remind us that Allah (swt) wants us to reach our potential, to take that first step despite the fact that the first step might be the hardest.

If you haven’t woken up for fajr (the pre-dawn prayer) for years, set five alarms today. Make a sincere du`a’ (supplication) to Allah (swt) before you sleep. Do it over and over again. Seek forgiveness and plead with Him to let you pray. You will not be disappointed. If you once had a big dream for your community but were dejected by people telling you to “be real,” pick up where you left off. Even if they are right and you never make it, because your intention was for Him, you already made it. Any achievement in this dunya (worldly life) is temporary, but “[…] indeed, the home of the Hereafter – that is the [eternal] life, if only they knew.” (Qur’an 29:64)

Don’t give in. “[…] Despair not of relief from Allah. Indeed, no one despairs of relief from Allah except the disbelieving people.” (Qur’an 12:87)

Before moving on to this week’s Name, I wanted to make a request: I’d like you to read over and reflect on the other Names that we went through so far. Our purpose is to know Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He); when we know Allah (swt) this life is easier to understand and Islam is more beautiful to live by. We then realize how Allah (swt) is truly with us, every step of the way, even when we are unaware of Him.

Today’s Name is at-Tawwab. Taaba in Arabic means to return. And at-Tawwab is the One who accepts all those who return to Him. And how many of us need to return to Him?

“And it is He who accepts repentance from his servants and pardons misdeeds, and He knows what you do.” [Qur’an, 42:25]

Despite knowing all that we do, He accepts our turning back to Him. Human beings, even our own parents sometimes, get tired of us. When we’ve ignored them for a while or have done something they dislike, they may reject us. But Allah (swt) reminds us:

“Do they not know that it is Allah who accepts repentance from His servants and receives charities and that it is Allah who is the Accepting of repentance, the Merciful?” [Qur’an, 9:104]

That is why He has named Himself at-Tawwab: so we know that whatever level we are at, He will accept us if we return to Him sincerely. Allah (swt) makes it clear who He has addressed to return to Him:

“[…] And turn to Allah in repentance, all of you, O believers, that you might succeed.” [Qur’an, 24:31]

As the verse tells us, tawba (repentence) is for everyone because we all need to return. It does not simply have to be from a hideous sin. It can be because we are far, so we need to return. It can be because we have slipped here and there, so we need to return. It can be because we want to take that step to get closer to Allah (swt), so we need to return. That is the essence of tawba.

Dr. Ratib an-Nabulsi states that in order to understand tawba, we need to understand Allah’s Mercy. His (swt) being at-Tawwab is because He is the Most-Merciful towards us. He invites us to return to Him. In a beautiful hadith (narration) of the Prophet ﷺ (peace be upon him), we are told:

“Indeed, Allah extends His Hand in the night to forgive the one who sins in the day, and He extends His Hand in the day to forgive the one who sins at night, and this continues until the sun rises from the west.” [Muslim]

Allah (swt) also gives us signs that push us to return to Him. Al-Ghazali states:

“Al-Tawwab makes reference to facilitating the causes of repentance in His servants time and again by making manifest some of His signs, conveying His counsel to them, and disclosing His deterrents and warnings to them.”

Whatever causes you return to Him—whether it is an ayah (verse) in the Qur’an, an article, a friend who reminds you, or even the realization of a sin you committed—is only because He wants to accept your repentance. Then you come within the realm of at-Tawwabeen: those who constantly return.

As iftar approached, one of the young men pulled out apples, dates and water bottles and began passing them around the small vehicle. Subhan’Allah, if Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala had not blessed us with food through this man, many of us may have had nothing to break our fasts with.

We broke our fast; it was the first of the last ten nights in Ramadan. These are the nights of Allah’s forgiveness! And look at how the passengers were seeking Allah’s mercy – through the Qur’an, through sharing their food, through acts of righteous deeds.

Soon after breaking our fast to the adhan on the radio and recitation of the Qur’an, one of the brothers busted out a cigarette pack. Allahu Al-Musta`an, may Allah help us, I thought. Smoking? In Ramadan? In the microbus?

Out of his generosity, he shared the pack. One by one, young and old, almost all of the riders started smoking. Within a few minutes, the Qur’an was replaced with massively beating Egyptian music that BLASTED throughout the bus. We continued on for some time, as my husband, brother and I almost choked on the second hand smoke, attempting to sleep, exhausted from our long trip, while the other passengers partied.

Suddenly, amongst miles of desert, a café appeared on the side of the road. “I see people praying!” said a young rider. “Let’s stop here to pray maghrib!”

So the bus pulled over and we got out and prayed. After the travelers took another cigarette and sheesha break at the café, we piled back in and continued our music-blasting-cigarette-smoking trip.

My first impression of these individuals was good: look at how much they are seeking Allah in Ramadan, I thought, with the Qur’an, with adhkar, and with generosity to their brothers. But once music replaced the Qur’an, and the smoke filled the air – on such a holy night of the year no less – I realized how they really were seeking Allah.

Clearly these people were addicted to cigarettes, yet they fought to refrain from it during the day so that they could fast for Allah’s sake. And even though they thoroughly seemed to enjoy listening to crazy loud love songs, subhan’Allah, they perhaps fought this desire for hours to instead listen to the Qur’an while they maintained their fast. And even in the middle of the arduous journey, even while traveling, they refused to postpone their salah, they searched for a place to pray, and stopped their journey home so that they could maintain this connection with Allah `azza wa jal.

How many of us first read the two perceptions of the microbus riders and felt they were hypocrites for doing “righteous deeds” while fasting in the day and then engaging in seemingly “unrighteous” deeds in the night? Yet how many of us fast during Ramadan yet refuse to build our relationships with our parents causing them pain every time we withhold a smile or a pleasant conversation? How many of us prayed taraweeh in Ramadan and wept, yet swear never to marry a person who is a different color? How many of us are giving charity yet fill our hearts with anger and jealousy over what others have and what we wish was only ours? How many of us wear hijab and feel like we’re superior to sisters who look like Abercrombie and Fitch models, although perhaps it’s only because they’re dealing with a reality we’d never be able to handle? How many of our brothers think they are so much more on the truth because they are hafidh of the Qur’an, have accomplished many pilgrimages and sport long beards, yet “out of piety”, openly defame and slander scholars simply because they hold a different viewpoint?

We all have issues, yet when the Lord of the Worlds (swt) turns to us out of His mercy, we also struggle to maintain a connection with Him. And perhaps, this is not hypocrisy, this is a sign of our belief in Allah (swt). Perhaps we too look at ourselves and call all good actions mixed with bad actions “two-faced.” But perhaps Allah (swt) is calling His angels to witness and mention our struggles to please Him, despite peer pressure and our own intense desires.

Those good deeds that are mixed with our failings actually help wipe out our sins:

“…Indeed, good deeds do away with misdeeds…” (Qur’an, 11:114)

Allah `azza wa jal tells us in a Hadith Qudsi: “O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind.  O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great at it.” [ Tirmithi and Ahmad]

It’s time to go back to Allah and work towards gaining His Pleasure! Ramadan has nearly ended, yet Allah’s forgiveness and vast mercy is never ending. Let us go back to Allah (swt) in the days after the blessed month. Let us turn to Him, make tawbah and ask Him to give us steadfastness in doing good deeds.

The best supplication to ask for Allah’s forgiveness is the following:

Allahumma anta rabbee la ilaha illa ant, khalaqtanee wa-ana AAabduk, wa-ana `AAala AAahdika wawaAAdika mas-tataAAt, aAAoothu bika min sharri ma sanaAAt, aboo-o laka biniAAmatika AAalay, wa-aboo-o bithanbee, faghfir lee fa-innahu la yaghfiruth-thunooba illa ant.

‘O Allah, You are my Lord, none has the right to be worshipped except You, You created me and I am Your servant and I abide to Your covenant and promise as best I can, I take refuge in You from the evil of which I committed. I acknowledge Your favor upon me and I acknowledge my sin, so forgive me, for verily none can forgive sin except You.’

The Prophet ﷺ has taught us that, “If somebody recites it during the day with firm faith in it and dies on the same day before the evening, he will be from the people of Paradise and if somebody recites it at night with firm faith in it and dies before the morning he will be from the people of Paradise.”

Here’s our action plan to continue turning back to Allah (swt):

1) Begin establishing a connection with the Qur’an to help you stay firm.

• Block some time every day to read a specified amount of Qur’an (from as little as one verse to as many pages as you can) in a language that you understand. Remain consistent with this Qur’anic connection; this will remind you that seeking Allah’s Pleasure is ongoing and brings about magnificent success .

2) Increase in good deeds to wipe out bad deeds.

• Increase in smiling at and helping people
• Make istighfar daily
• Give $1 in charity.
• Text or email your mom and dad and tell them you love and appreciate them…or even better – tell them face to face!
• Park correctly, travel responsibly and remember Allah on your journeys.
• Tell us in the comments section how you connect to Allah in sha’ Allah!

We all have flaws in our character, yet Allah (swt) is the Remover of our weaknesses. Despite our shortcomings, Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala loves our struggle to come back to Him and is always ready to accept our repentance. So towards the end of Ramadan, let us keep great hope in Allah’s words and know that Allah WILL forgive us – when we turn back to Him first:

“Say: O ‘Ibadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah, verily Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” (Qur’an, 39:53)

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII | Part IX | Part X | Part XI | Part XII | Part XIII | Part XIV | Part XV

Anyone who looks around modern society will quickly notice the many blessings of technology and scientific advancement. As Muslims we recognize that these are blessings from our beloved Creator who provided us with the means to achieve success. We also see, as a result of people straying from God and His message, the ugly side of modernity. Without divine guidance, the evils of seeking power and open indulgence in our desires have led to major individual as well as societal corruption. A true believer realizes that he or she is in need of detailed guidance as well as the forgiveness of God to protect himself from his own ego and carnal desires. As a result of this humility and awareness of God, the believers say,

“Our Lord, avert from us the punishment of Hell. Indeed its punishment is ever adhering.” (Qur’an, 25:65)

This supplication embodies deep spiritual humility. The believers do not assume themselves saved from their sins and holding a free ticket to heaven. Indeed they realize that they live in a test where they must prove their devotion and loyalty to their Creator. They recognize the need to make their spiritual consciousness overcome their ego and material desires. This takes a strong effort in self-discipline, but even more than that it requires divine support, as nothing is possible without the will of Almighty God. So the true believers are in a state of trying to please God by following His guidance and when they slip up the slightest bit, they are seeking His forgiveness.

Here we see the value of seeking Allah’s forgiveness. Throughout the Qur’an and Sunnah we find many benefits that seeking Allah’s forgiveness brings to us. In addition to forgiveness, seeking forgiveness brings wealth, children, rain, strength, comfort and it also repels misfortune. Our beloved Prophet ﷺ, who was sinless, sought the forgiveness of Allah (swt) seventy times a day. This was both to teach us and as an act of his humility in that he did feel guilty when he felt he could have done better, when he made human error and when he saw the sins of others.

Similarly, we seek Allah’s (swt) forgiveness after every prayer. Although we just prayed, our prayers are not perfect and we could have done better so we need God to overlook that. I pray we can all leave this article, not just with theoretical guidance but a practical set of tools by which we may become the servants of The Merciful. The master remembrance for seeking forgiveness (sayid al-Istighfaar) is something we should never leave, as the Prophet ﷺ  taught in a well known authentic hadith that whoever said this remembrance with certainty in the morning and died before night would go to heaven, and whoever would recite it at night and died before dawn would also go to Heaven.

“Dear God, you are my Lord. There is no God but You. You created me and I am your servant. I am trying to fulfill my covenant with you and prepare for Your promise of the Hereafter to the best of my ability. I seek refuge from the evil that I have done. I admit to You that I recognize your blessings upon me. I admit my sins to you and I seek your forgiveness because no one forgives sins except you.” (Bukhari)

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII | Part IX | Part X | Part XI | Part XII | Part XIII | Part XIV | Part XV | Part XVI | Part XVII | Part XVIII | Part XIX | Part XX | Part XXI | Part XXII | Part XXIII | Part XXIV | Part XXV | Part XXVI | Part XXVII | Part XXVIII

Abu Nuwas was a person who loved to drink and say obscene things, such that he would even make up verses of poetry and sing about inappropriate things. However, he underwent a change and repented to God. People were surprised—Abu Nuwas, who was a known drunkard? Abu Nuwas the lewd man? In a sense, it was almost as though they believed Allah would not forgive him and that Allah would not have mercy on him. So he wrote verses of poetry, and they found these verses under the bed that he died upon. The lines in the poem said:

O my Lord, if the greatness of my sins increase, then I know that Your forgiveness is greater
If only the righteous called on You, then who would the criminal go to?
I call on You my Lord, as you commanded, with reverence
And if You turn my hands away, then who else will have mercy?

What do you feel?

Last week we talked about having a present heart and understanding what we are saying. This week, we will go deeper insha’Allah (God willing). A lot of people when they pray, they have no feelings, no emotions. Yet if this person were to meet their friend, they would probably feel emotions of joy, and when they depart they would feel a sense of sadness, and if they stay away then they start missing him. This array of emotions comes to a person when they meet a friend; yet when it comes to prayers, and we are meeting Allah, we don’t feel anything. This is why it does not have an effect on our actions when we have finished praying. So what should we be feeling?

The third depth: Rajaa

What is this third depth? Coming to Allah while you desire and hope for His Mercy. And your opinion is that He will insha’Allah accept you and bring you closer to Him. This is the feeling of rajaa. A person who feels this rajaa is higher with Allah, because this has to do with the heart. What is the use of concentrating and understanding when everything is mechanical? The sweetness of the prayer when you come to Him with rajaa is greater.

How can you feel this?

You feel it if you know Allah. The more you know Allah, the more rajaa you have of Allah. Allah has more mercy towards you than your own mother. All you have to do is think well of Allah, and He is as you think of Him. If you think of Him as Merciful and Forgiving, then He will be that to you. It is as simple as that—because Allah has said it of Himself. The Prophet (saw) said, “Allah has said, ‘I am as My servant’s opinion of Me, so let Him think of Me as he pleases.’”

If we contemplate over these meanings before our prayer, then something in us must move and affect the way we think of our prayers. Ibn Al-Qayyim has said, “Allah does not have any grievance against you that it will heal if He punishes you.”

Meaning that Allah has no grievance towards you and He does not want to punish you. How, when He has said that His mercy supersedes His blame, that He has written mercy on Himself? Allah has said:

“Your Lord has decreed upon Himself mercy” (Qur’an, 6:54).

Subhan’Allah (Glory be to Allah)—for many of us years have passed and we’ve prayed every prayer, but never did we come to Allah with these emotions, even though He loves for us to ask for His Mercy. Allah says in the Qur’an:

“Allah wants to accept your repentance, but those who follow [their] passions want you to digress [into] a great deviation. And Allah wants to lighten for you [your difficulties]; and mankind was created weak.” (Qur’an, 4:27-28).

Try this in your next prayer

Believe with certainty that Allah wants to forgive you, pardon you and have Mercy on you. Believe and have so much hope in Him that He will enter you into Paradise, and not just that, but that you will be the neighbor of the Prophet (sal Allahu `alayhi wa sallam – peace be upon him). These things aren’t made-up, pie-in-the-sky hopes. It is Allah who has said:

“And your Lord says, ‘Call upon Me; I will respond to you” (Qur’an, 40:60).

The Prophet (saw) said, “Call on Allah with certainty that He will respond.” If you do that, He will give you MORE than you wanted. But remember that it has to be rajaa and not ‘amany.’ What is the difference?

Rajaa is all of the above feelings that we mentioned, but accompanied with work and striving. ‘Amany’ is those feelings, but without striving on your behalf—hoping for Allah’s Mercy, but deliberately doing things that you know He despises. Allah says in the Qur’an:

“But indeed, I am the Perpetual Forgiver of whoever repents and believes and does righteousness and then continues in guidance” (Qur’an, 20:82).

And with this He will give you more than you need and deserve.

Mercy

Subhan’Allah how this lioness took care of this baby antelope. Who put this mercy in her heart, even though it is against her very nature? It was reported that after the pack of lions ate the baby antelope, the lioness in later times adopted five other baby antelopes.

Allah has divided His mercy into 99 parts, and given one part of His mercy to the earth. This one part is so strong that it has transformed the animosity of a lioness towards something that should be her prey, to love. So what would His Mercy, the other 99 parts, be like on the Day of Judgment? If Allah has said that His Mercy encompasses all things, how would it not encompass you? It has encompassed those whose actions are worse than yours, like the man who killed 99 people and then killed one more person making them 100, and Allah has forgiven him. How could He not forgive you and have mercy on you?

So how can you be the recipient of Allah’s Mercy? Ask for it in your prayer.