I distinctly remember an incident that had a lasting impact on me when I was around 11 or 12 years old. I was with my family staying at our cousin’s apartment while my cousin was outside in the hall with some friends. I, of course, stayed inside, not wanting to invite myself. By chance my cousin came and asked if I wanted to join him and his friends. I was hesitant at first but deep down really wanted to come, so I eagerly—yet nervously—tagged along. As I stepped outside the door I still remember smiling uneasily, wanting to just feel accepted and enjoy hanging out with others.

But as the door opened, my initial awkward smile quickly disappeared. I had barely taken a step outside when one of the boys saw me and immediately made a rude remark at my appearance, essentially mocking me in front of everyone else. It was complete rejection at a young age—at an age when one cannot make sense of one’s surroundings. He made fun of my nose which, as a result of an unsuccessful surgery at age 6, now appeared deformed. My family would tell me they barely noticed it but virtually everyone else and kids at school who constantly made fun of me seemed to see it just fine.

I did not want my cousin’s friends to make fun of me. I had enough people doing that to me in school. Extremely upset and disappointed, I hung my head down, not even bothering to look straight, and cussed back at the boy. He returned the favor. As we continued to exchange extensive grade 5 vocabulary insults, at some point I decided not to talk to anyone anymore and simply made my way into the apartment.

I wanted to be in a place where people at least put up with how I looked even if they disliked it. So I entered the apartment and went into the corner of one of the rooms, feeling embarrassed of how I looked, who I was, and what purpose I was serving on this cold planet. This was not a one-time incident; by now I was used to hearing insults, but I could not adjust to the pain those insults brought with them.

But much to my surprise, the kids in the hall had all come back. The older brother of the boy who made fun of me came to apologize. He insisted his brother was an “idiot” and wanted me to come back and join them. I just kept saying “No, no. It’s okay, I’m not upset. I just don’t want to.”

Finally everyone left and there I was alone. Alone–a place that always welcomed me.

The incident left a very sour taste in my mouth. This was not like those days when a kid at my school would throw a basketball at the back of my head to make others laugh or laugh himself. It was not like those days when I would be at a wedding while adults stared at me with what seemed like pity and sometimes even disgust. It was not like those days when my best friend would make fun of me to raise his status amongst the cool kids at school. No, this time the pain felt different.

All I wanted to do that night was belong to a group that accepted me for the way I was and the way I looked. I could not change my appearance; I just wanted to feel welcomed, play with the guys that night and feel a part of a group for once. I did not want to be alone. I did not want to be left out.

I had tried and tried to fit in on many occasions before, but since I could not change my appearance, I was rejected again and again. And the more effort I put into fitting in, the worse the rejection felt. So it was at this point where I told myself, “I don’t want to try anymore.”

This is a moment I hope no one, especially those who are young, ever succumbs to. I did not want to try anymore, and I really meant it. Essentially I gave up on life. I gave up on people. I gave up trying to look for good in this world. I even gave up thinking there was any good in this world. For people like me—I convinced myself that night—there was no good! It caused me anger, resentment and disregard for others. These feelings would only grow from there. I became extremely anti-social. I figured at that point the pain I felt when trying to fit in was not worth the hassle, so perhaps if I stayed away from people altogether I would not feel that way anymore. My room became a sanctuary where I could always go and know no one would push me out and make me feel unwanted.

I hope no one ever has to face a time like this.

Things did change, however. I had surgery to repair the issue on my nose. Starting a couple years after that and continuing well into my adulthood, I now feel that I talk too much at times! But I wrote this piece because strangely enough, I found Allah’s love and company through incidents like these. If anyone has the right to complain about life being unfair, then I think I would be one of them. But today I have no complaints, and as an adult I am actually glad I went through these experiences.

The pain that these experiences brought never made sense to me until adulthood. But if it were not for this pain, I would not know what rejection felt like. I would not know what a shattered heart felt like. I would not know what days and nights of unbearable loneliness felt like. And perhaps I would never have come to know my purpose on what sometimes can be a very cold planet.

I always had a wish to grow up and help others. How else could I understand or relate to someone’s struggle if I had not experienced it myself? I decided to go into counseling or teaching after I finish college so as to put what I learned to good use.

This is why it is so important for us all to think positively of God, because only then will one find the gems hidden in the most difficult trials of their life. You may not see the fruits of your labor or even why you were put through such difficult trials until perhaps years later. But based on my own firsthand experience, I can say with certainty it is never unfair. In fact, it is always worth it.

By Tasniya Sultana

Disclaimer: This is my vision and opinions about the current education system from my experiences and observations. I respect and admire all teachers and administrators who tirelessly work to provide the best form of education for their students. Having said that, I believe in a different approach to Islamic education and this article outlines my vision.

Recently, I read an article on virtualmosque.com entitled “A Second Look at Islamic Schools” by Lobna Mulla. A lot of her points and thoughts resonated with me as I read through the article. It is sad that many people have a negative perception when it comes to Islamic Schools and Islamic Education. I must admit that I am one of those people as well.

Growing up in a strict Islamic household and having many poor experiences as a student and teacher at Sunday and Islamic schools, I had lost my faith in Islamic schools and Islamic education at one point. I vented to my husband and friends that when I have kids, I would rather send them to a public school than an Islamic school.

But I took a step back and I realized that running away from Islamic education and schools is not the solution. Seeing such low attendance and participation in mosques and Islamic schools concerns me. It shows that more and more youth and Muslim families are choosing to stay away from Islamic education. Instead, they are choosing to go to public schools, which are not the best alternative either, having been there myself.

Therefore, we need to change our perception of Islamic education. As Sister Mulla stated in her article, Islamic schools have taken steps to make themselves more appealing and competitive. One of the steps she listed in her article is that many Islamic schools are run by principals and teachers who have proper education degrees and certifications. They also have extensive evaluation processes so that the schools are accredited by the respective states. This shows us that Islamic schools are trying to raise the bar and they are striving to get proper accreditation and standards for their schools.

While I agree that there has been a shift in Islamic schools to hire teachers and administrators who are qualified, it is simply not enough. There needs to be a change in the way we approach and teach Islamic education to our children. Traditional education systems offer workbooks, textbooks, and worksheets to teach various concepts like math, science, history, and language. There is very minimal hands-on experience for the child. From my personal experience, I have also observed that Islamic schools adapted this methodology of teaching Islamic studies to children through the use of books and worksheets.

Sadly, I cannot agree with this system. I believe that there should be a more hands-on approach to education. We should provide concrete materials and experiences for the children in the classroom so that they are excited and passionate about learning both secular subjects and Islamic subjects.  And that is where my dream comes into play. Insha’Allah (God willing), I want to change the landscape of Islamic education. I want people to have positive associations with Islamic schools and education in general. And for that, I truly believe that Montessori Education will be a good synergy with Islamic Education.

To give some background about Montessori Education, it is a system that was founded by Maria Montessori. Her vision was to provide an education system that is set according to the child’s pace. She observed children for many years in different countries and through her observations, she had many revelations about education.

For one, a Montessori classroom looks very different from a traditional classroom. There are no grades in a Montessori school. Rather, the students are grouped according to age levels: The toddler classroom has children from 0 to 3 years of age, the primary classrooms have student from ages 3 to 6, and the elementary classrooms have children from 6 to 12.

In addition, the teacher gives lessons in small groups or individually rather than giving the lessons to a large group in front of the classroom. The children are allowed to choose their own work everyday, and the teacher does not give a lesson to a child until he or she is ready to have that lesson. To learn more about Montessori education and how it is different from traditional education, please visit the YouTube link below: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GcgN0lEh5IA&feature=youtu.be

Currently, I am doing my masters in Elementary Montessori Education at Washington Montessori Institute at Loyola University, Maryland. The more I learn about the Montessori theories and principles, the more I am convinced that Montessori education is compatible with Islamic studies. Lessons such as wudu (ritual washing), wearing a hijab, prayers, and hifdh (memorization) can be incorporated using the Montessori principles. Thus, my goal and vision is to create an Islamic Montessori school from the toddler program to the elementary program that will incorporate Islamic studies using the Montessori methods.

To give an example of how that will work, I will lay out some of my ideas below. For example, in many Islamic schools and Sunday schools, the topic of wudu is taught in a very intellectual manner. Often times, we go over a book on wudu and use flashcards to teach the children about the process. Once in a while we allow them to go to the bathroom to practice wudu but the sinks are not accustomed to accommodating wudu for the children. They struggle to do wudu because they can’t reach the tap or the sink or they can’t put their feet up on the sink in order to wash.

Therefore, one of my goals is to have wudu stations in the classroom for the child. We will use buckets, pitchers, and basin to do wudu in the classroom. The best thing about a primary Montessori classroom is that there is a huge emphasis on doing activities that are practical to a child’s life. For example, in Montessori education, the teachers give lessons on how to wash the table, wash their hands, brush their teeth, clean the dishes, mop the floor, and many more practical life activities! The children enjoy these activities because they see their parents doing these activities at home and they have a need to imitate them. But do not freak out because the Montessori classroom also does math, science, and reading as well!

But the most beautiful thing is that Montessori classroom allows for the child to experience and practice the practical aspects of their lives. And for a Muslim child, doing wudu and learning prayers is a practical part of life. So why not incorporate that into the classroom as a lesson and an activity that the child will enjoy?

This is one of the many ideas I have for my Islamic Montessori School. As Sister Mulla reiterated in her article, there is a huge shift to set the bar high for Islamic education in America. And I believe that my goal and vision for my Islamic Montessori School can add to raising Islamic schools from sub-standard education to highly sought-out education by the Muslim ummah (community) Insha’Allah.

By Kaneez Fatima

Recently, after a long time, I bought something I was really pleased with. It was a dress. I was so happy to possess it that I wore it (as trial) at least thrice the very day I bought it. Realizing that I could not have had it if God, subhanahu wa ta`ala (Exhalted is He), had not given me the provisions to afford it, I looked myself in the mirror and said out loud, “Thank you Allah.” Upon hearing this, my younger sister (aged 15), who was sitting close, gave me a you-are-weird look, laughed a sarcastic laugh and asked me, “What was that about? You bought it with the money you have earned yourself, why would you bring Allah in here?”

Her question dumbfounded me, and I did not know exactly how to respond. Though I tried explaining to her that nothing good can ever come to us, except by the mercy of Allah (swt), but she did not look satisfied with my answer.

As someone who does not miss an opportunity for reflection, her question got me thinking. Thinking as to where the foundations of her beliefs went so wrong that even at such a young age, she is unable to agree with such a basic fact.

My sister is not the only teenager who has skewed beliefs. I happen to be a teacher and teach the same age group as my sister. Various class discussions have led me to believe that even my students (if not all, most of them) have confused ideas about God (swt) and this life. Now some may argue that they are very young, and it is okay for them to have weak beliefs, but what worries me is the possibility of them never being able to realize the truth. For whatever is adopted or learned firmly at this age becomes part of a person’s lifestyle.

To tell you the truth, as a child even my belief in Allah’s (swt) might and control was not that strong, nor did I understand what it actually means to be a Muslim. The struggle I had to go through to tame my nafs (inner self) was quite arduous. It took many painful experiences to get me to realize what it means to have God (swt) as the central focus in life.

Now as an adult, I feel one of the reasons why this journey had been so difficult for me was the way God (swt) was introduced to me in my initial years. I do not remember my parents telling me that everything they give me was actually given to them by God (swt). I do not remember my parents telling me that the way they take care of me is because of the love Allah (swt) has put in their hearts for me. I do not remember anyone telling me that God (swt) is the basis of life and everything I do, and everything I will do should be with Him as my focus.

Don’t get me wrong. My intention here is not to blame my parents (I love them dearly). But it is to highlight the fact that parents play a very important role in shaping our basic beliefs. If a child, right from the beginning, is taught to be socially acceptable only, he only learns how to win people’s approval, and God takes second place to the extent that a point comes when all he does and says is to please people and win their recognition. For such a child, it becomes very difficult to understand that God is not a distant entity who only keeps a track of our sins and good deeds but He is “The Nearest,” and all we have to worry about in this life is strengthening our relationship with Him (swt)—the rest will follow.

It is interesting to note that every family has a bunch of elders who make sure that the children know everything there is to know about their immediate ancestors. That is done so that these children carry the legacy of the family, and the values established by the immediate ancestors are carried on without any change. People grow up holding their family values very dear, to the extent that they often forget about the right path in order to safeguard them.

Everything we have in this life is “a trust”. A trust in a way that we will have to explain how we treated and used everything we were blessed with. In the same way, children are also a trust. What we teach them and what we do not teach them affects their entire lives. So instead of taking them as our possession and preparing them to carry on our so-called legacies, we should realize they belong to God (swt) (just like everyone and everything else), and having Him (swt) as the core of their existence, all their lives, is what they need to be prepared for. We need to realize that providing our children with food, shelter, and other comforts is not the only way to deem ourselves successful; we must also help them understand the real meaning of life, and that is how we can be successful parents and guardians.

“May Allah brighten [the face of] a person who hears a hadith from us, and reports it as he heard it, for perhaps the one whom the hadith is reported to, is more understanding than the one who reported it to them.” (Tirmidhi)

In this short article, we’ll explore a hadith with this in mind. However, at the outset, it is important to remember that this is ‘a’ prophetic method, not ‘the’ only and exclusive prophetic way, as the Prophet ﷺ often would address those present according to their intellectual capacity. As he said:

Treat people according to their ranks/ability/status (Abu Dawud) ((There is discussion over the authenticity of this Hadith. Nonetheless it has been narrated through several chains of narrations (isnad) all of which strengthen each other.))

Thus a philosopher or an academic will be engaged in different discussion than a simple nomad.

From Universals to Particulars

A man migrated (hijra) from Mecca to Medina because he intended to marry a woman called Umm Qays. The woman said she will accept his proposal only if he migrated. Thus he became known as ‘the migrator to Umm Qays’. The man then went to ask the Prophet ﷺ about the status of his action, will he get the reward for making the hijra? To this, the Prophet ﷺ replied,

 “Actions are by their intentions and every man (or woman) shall have what they intended. Thus he whose migration was for Allah and His messenger ﷺ, his migration was for Allah and His messenger, and he whose migration was to achieve some worldly benefit or to take some woman in marriage, his migration was for that for which he migrated.” (Bukhari)

The Prophet ﷺ first stated a universal (kulli or jinse):

“Actions are by their intentions and every man (or woman) shall have what they intended.”

He then applied this universal to two general categories (naw`):  Doing something for the hereafter, and doing something for this world.

He then placed the actual case in hand, i.e. migrating for the purpose of marriage, under the ‘mundane’ category (`ayn):

One of the strengths of this approach is that you not only answer the specific question under discussion, but also equip the questioner with the knowledge necessary to answer any other question of a similar nature. Furthermore, your questioner benefits from the fact that you expose your line of reasoning.

This Prophetic method is utilised by many Islamic jurists when they, like the Prophet ﷺ, answer questions. Moreover, as Imam Ibn al-Qayyim mentions, it allows breadth for the jurist to answer questions by including additional, but relevant, knowledge. By extension, it is completely acceptable for a Muslim to ask the jurist or mufti for his reasoning when the latter issues a legal response (fatwa), and the jurist should not be offended by this, as that would indicate he deems himself above the Prophetic method.

This approach of moving from generals to particulars is also employed in the science of Qawā’id Fiqhiyya (legal maxims), which unfortunately is not studied except by dedicated students of the Islamic sciences, more specifically those who are training to issue legal rulings (fatwa).

Lastly, it is important for us to note that this is not something jurists or scholars employ just to show intellectual prowess as is sometimes alluded to. As well as having a discourse which accommodates everyone, it is also vital that we appreciate and keep alive our intellectual rigour and sophistication. We need not ‘dumb everything down’, all in the name of accessibility. Sometimes, the onus is on the student, to ‘up her game’.

Employing This Method in Our Discourses

Of course, this method is probably not the easiest to grasp at first, and thus it needn’t be used all the time, however, to be better equipped at ‘internalising’ the logic of the Shari’a (Islamic law), it is indispensable. This will allow a person to acquire a new level of understanding, one that is deeper than simple do’s and don’ts. This eventually leads a person to grasp the aims and purposes (maqāsid) of the Shari`a, at least to some degree.

The Common Method

The more common method when teaching Islamic law and ethics, however, is to cover each issue individually with its ruling, i.e. the particulars only. This is due to its expediency and the fact that it equips people to immediately deal with the issue at hand and know the Shar’ia stance towards it. This is also a method employed by our Prophet ﷺ.

Can you think of any examples where the Prophet ﷺ uses this method? Write them in the comments section below!