Comments on: 5 Ways to Stop Being Judgmental

By: Amera

Amera — Wed, 20 Jan 2021 22:19:57 +0000

A beautiful article, Masha’Allah. If we just remember that no one is perfect – not even ourselves – it will help us not to be so quick in passing judgement on others. May Allah help us to emulate the Prophet (pbuh) and the salaf in our dealings with others. Ameen.

By: Duaa

Duaa — Tue, 10 Dec 2019 04:23:06 +0000

JazakAllah kher. This was much needed.

By: Sabirah

Sabirah — Sun, 21 May 2017 23:21:15 +0000

That was beautiful.

By: Mariam

Mariam — Thu, 22 Oct 2015 00:02:52 +0000

Jzk Sister Maryam for the article. But this issue needs more than a 5 step article. Being judgmental is a very pervasive and subversive (not obvious) problem in our community. Please write and speak about more of this. We need your inspiring voice.

By: R

Tue, 16 Jun 2015 20:46:33 +0000

In reply to Muslim. I agree with you 200%, I think we need to have a balanced discussion on 'being judged', and that includes both sides, people also need to learn how to take constructive criticism without them thinking that they're are being judged.

By: Letha

Letha — Sat, 06 Jun 2015 07:30:59 +0000

Great article. I will be dealing with some of these issues as well..

By: Gibran

Gibran — Thu, 19 Dec 2013 06:17:46 +0000

In reply to Paul Bartlett.

Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh

You know, I was listening to a brother knowledgeable in Arabic, and he said Insan, a common word for “man” in Arabic is actually derived from anasiya which means intimacy(or seeking intimacy, I can’t remember.)

That’s pretty interesting to me….we actually are seeking intimacy as it is part of our nature. Intimacy in brotherhood, friendship and spouse. And of course,intimacy with Allah aza wa jal.

By: Paul Bartlett

Paul Bartlett — Mon, 09 Dec 2013 22:52:19 +0000

In reply to Manal.

Salaam alaikum, Manal. (I apologize that due to my ignorance I do not know whether you are a sister or brother.)

Yes, I do have a little tendency to despair with respect to the Muslim ummah, at least here in North America. Is it so, that the community cannot offer to those of us who are older (I was already of middle age when I professed myself a Muslim many years ago) what is beneficial to us? Is the community so degenerate today? Please understand that some of us do in fact nearly despair. We have struggled year after year when we were already no longer young. Sometimes we just fall down.

If I beat my pet cat (really, the only friend I have in this world) every time she tries to stand up, eventually she will just cower in terror and quit trying, or else she will lash out violently. Is it so different with people? Those of us who have been beaten down by life, and there is no one in the ummah to lift us up? Not everyone is strong and able to live by abstractions. To be totally blunt — may Allah (swt) forgive us all — not everyone finds comfort in a bare text without people who live the meaning of that text. Books and recorded (/internet) lectures are all very fine and nice, but they do not take the place of just sitting down and conversing with another human being over a cup of coffee, if that is all you have.

Allah (swt) knows best. I certainly don’t.

By: Manal

Manal — Mon, 09 Dec 2013 21:16:21 +0000

MashaAllah! Well written with great insight into human nature as you bring our attention to the myriad of experiences that people can possibly undergo. Thanks, Maryam for highlighting the importance of not judging other people but also not judging them using a black/white continuum as God in His infinite mercy does not portray His prophets as doing such in their plight to transform human perception of the world.
In Chapter Yusuf, Prophet Yaq’ub’s sons were wrongdoers but study closely the character and the dawa methodology of their own father, a great prophet who did not only carry the burden of his own family but a whole nation. He is patient; sometimes lets them be…never forsakes them and continues to counsel them bringing to their attention their wrong actions, reminding them of God using His appropriate attributes…until their hearts are finely transformed to the hearts of repentant servants. Prophet Yaq’ub (as) understood their test and his own test and proceeded to painstakingly support them through counsel and console himself through supplication. This is Wisdom! Let us not rush to judgment and let’s change the world with the excellence of our character when we fail to find appropriate words to show compassion and let’s remember that the world can be utterly changed through the power of sincere supplication.
Brother Paul…if I may respond to your remark as I felt a state of despair from the community. Maybe you need to redefine your expectations, as the community at that point can’t offer what it lacks…the community is tested in many ways now as we all are. Find comfort in the Quran as there is a Hadith in Tirmidhi reprted by Ali bin Abi Talib may God be pleased with him that he heard the Prophet PBUH
say that there will come a time when calamites will be as heavy as the darkest portions of the night. He asked: what is the treatment for that? The prophet PBUH said: The Book Of GOD exalted is He. I apologize for the poor translation but my point is that if you hold on to the Quran and, especially reflect on the stories of the Prophets, you will remain steadfast inshaAllah. Also listening to wonderful scholars such as Hamza Yusuf, Timothy winters, Suhaibb Webb and many others will help you in your struggle. May Allah SWT ease everyone’s trials.

By: Ikhwan Ng

Ikhwan Ng — Mon, 09 Dec 2013 01:59:51 +0000

JazakAllah khayr sister..

My parent strongly disagree with my reversion to Islam, especially I write a book about my journey to Islam. This make me ponder upon why I am born into non muslim family? Would my life becomes better if I destined to study Islam since kinder garden.

I have been upset for few days, reading al-Quran translation to calm down my heart. Especially while my mother who raised me up telling me how sad she is feeling now.

All praises to Allah, today I found your article. I will bookmark it and remember your sincere advice.