If we think we are guarding secrets, then we are guarding some of the worst-kept secrets around.

On domestic violence, for instance, our community’s “dirty laundry” has been hanging out for years. When we Muslims were busy not talking about, here’s a brief list of non-Muslim folks who were (and still are) busy actively dealing with it: Neighbors, police, lawyers, judges, doctors, hospital staff, teachers, social workers, counselors, therapists, shelter staff.

While it is advised to hide the sins that Allah has covered, we need to realize when the game is up and our sins have been exposed (at least in a general way). We can no longer afford to act like little kids, who think they are invisible when their hands cover their eyes.

I’m not talking about breaching privacy or breaking confidentiality, or individuals publicly recounting their sins in gushes of self-confession. But if it has been exposed in a general way that our religious community has social problems (surprise!), then as believers we take it as a good in which Allah has placed myriad benefits.

Dealing with our own internal social problems in a forthright, faith-based, kind way — reaching the highest levels of ihsan — benefits our own communities and in turn helps the larger society which is grappling with the same kinds of issues. Inshallah.

Jazakum Allahu khairan.

Very interesting point. It really draws attention to how many more Muslims (or so it appears to me) speak of how we need to improve our media relations, while fewer speak of how we can improve our community. No doubt that a more positive media relationship should play a critical role in our community’s agenda, but, as you aptly pointed out, let us not shun the other needs of the community in acquiring it.
Jazaki Allah khair.

wasalam,
Ibrahim

The article seemed to latch on to some need in the Muslim psyche at the time and it was widely reprinted on the internet under names like “Muslims, Stand Up!” and “Muslims, Don’t Apologize”.

Looking back almost ten years later I think that I made many good points, but I think my advice to completely bypass the issue of terrorism was misguided. You can’t be an effective daa’iyy by completely avoiding the most pressing issue of the day. Unfortunately the article is everywhere now and I can’t change it.

wa alaykum as salam warahmatullahi wa baraktuh,

on POINT. jazakiAllahu khayran!

With regard to Canadian or US domestic violence statistics, these are irrelevant to my position. The tit-for-tat reminders of Western crimes vs. Muslim crimes only weaken our condemnations of injustices and reveal a colonized mindset that constantly seeks to prove that Western social problems are worse than ours. In other words the “West” is the ideal which we must constantly knock down. This mentality makes a false separation between our communities and the dominant culture. Whether we like it or not we are connected to the dominant culture because it affects us and we sometimes mirror its problems (and its positives, I don’t want to seem either/or).

With regard to accepting this problem as part of life, we cannot give up before we have even started. For the most part, this community has not built infrastructures. There are few soup kitchens, few transitional housing for those coming out of prison, few shelters to take in abused women, etc. Until this community puts its money towards these infrastructures, it is not in a position to say whether or not women who go to these shelters have improved lives. I think that is a hard argument to make anyhow, since escaping abuse is always an improvement upon keeping one’s self and one’s children within an abusive home.

The solution is to support those working on internal problems such as the home with as much enthusiasm as we support dawah or public relations efforts. Rather than threatening the umma, they are actually seeking to make it healthier. Plus, helping the oppressed is simply the right thing to do. When we take care of the weak among us, we are doing God’s will, insha Allah. As salaamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.

The problem is same as in western society. Its either the entitled males ( with good socio-economics indicators) who commit these crimes or poorly educated men with bad socioeconomic indicators. Both cases there is usually abuse of alcohol or some other substance on part of the aggressor male. Aggressor female in Muslim is unheard of; they might exist as the Lochness Monster exists but I doubt it.

The problem is even we talk about a problem it blown to into a epidemic in the media and
thats why people don’t like to talk about it. I mean in Canada and in BC. It is a fact that one in six women will be assaulted in their lifetime living in BC, Canada. Nobody makes a big fuss over it. Even though this a first world country and one the best places to live in the world.
Nothing; but if you say one in six Muslim women will be assaulted during their lifetime in Pakistan, Malaysia, Saudi Arabia or Kuwait etc… This becomes an assault on Islam; on Islam treats women etc… all that bs.

This is a shame but that what it is. Life.
Plus the western society also has been unable to solve this problem.
I mean women shelters are fine but they solve problems after the beating, rapes etc.
And then these women lives generally are not well even if they escape. I mean exceptions exist but majority no.

May Allah help us all.

Excellent article. Thank you so much for bringing this issue into light, Miss Pethic. Its really sad how many Muslim women have to endure pain silently due to us being put under the radar. If we need to progress as a healthy community, we should acknowledge our issues, empower our women and face it with courage and a positive mindset so that we can envision a better future. Regardless of who says what about us.

Love,
Amani