Salam brother,

While I respect your opinion and do understand and believe that modesty is essential to truly actualising our Deen, I want to bring up a different perspective.

I began wearing hijab almost 7 years ago, and was initially met with discouragement and ridicule from both family and friends. Alhamdulillah things are different now, as Allah SWT grant relief and provides guidance.
Besides the external difficulties, I also was battling internal ones. As a 15 year old, growing up in the West, it wasn’t very easy. I felt like someone who couldnt swim, trying to swim against a strong tide! But I found encouragement from, and could identify with other women who wore hijab, especially those who wore it fashionably. They made it seem doable, and in fact, appealing. And to a 15 year old fighting to keep the hijab on, this was nothing short of a blessing to me.

Over the years Ive encountered many muslim women struggling with appearances and their modesty and what they should/could do differently. One aspect that I noticed across the board was a constant desire to improve oneself. None of the women felt that they had fulfilled their own standards for modesty and were constantly striving to make small but consistent changes.
Though I do believe that hijab is fard, I think the issue is a little more complex, and should thus be handles with sensitivity and understanding.
Every person has their own rate of personal growth and it will be different from others, and I think we need to accept that, and respect the sincerity involved.
If a woman who used to wear fitted clothing, decides to make the big decision of wearing a hijab, should we then tell her that her hijab is useless? Are we qualified to say that she might as well not wear the hijab as she is wearing fitted clothing below the hijab? This is what Im trying to get at.
Her sacrifice is for Allah SWT and we have no right to comment on her intentions or her way of trying to please Allah SWT.
Perhaps she wishes first to be identified as a muslim by wearing a scarf, and will then also make other changes in her clothing when she is ready. Perhaps her intentions are more pure than others who appear more modestly dressed.

We should instead be constantly encouraging all the women around us (and men) to keep striving for Allah SWTs pleasure, to keep moving forward, even if it is only baby steps. After all, it is Allah SWT who guides and opens our hearts, He will make sacrifice and change easy if He wills inshaAllah!

Hope this can provide some useful insight, and May Allah SWT guide all of us to pursue the knowledge and practise of His Deen with sincerity, in the way sent to us in the Quran and Sunnah. Ameen!

Yes, sisters do think it’s more okay for them to check out brothers than for brothers to check out sisters. Although I don’t agree that it is, I also don’t think it’s the same when each gender does it. Men tend to think more sexually when they look at a female, whereas women don’t do that (as much, anyway, from what i’ve seen). This is why women wear hijab and men don’t – partly because as physically attractive as men can be, the effect their physical attraction has on a woman is nothing like the effect a woman’s physical beauty can have on a man.

Also – brothers seem to think it’s okay to show off their ‘beauty’ as well. We see brothers in the masjid all the time in tight shirts that show off their arms and chests (and of course they work out, not purely for the sake of health). We see their boxers come out of their pants and we see them in skinny jeans now (not that this is in any way attractive), but brothers must recognize that they, too have a responsibility to cover themselves and wear looser clothing that isn’t meant to show off.

my opinion is that commenting on them being pretty or handsome is still immodest, just in a lesser way.

In my opinion, also, i dont think its immodest to say someone is well dressed, if you’re just talking about their clothes (like if someone has a nice suit on or something like that)

I think what was talked about in the article is an after effect of the accusations against Islam as being a religion that oppresses women. So to counter these claims, I think many callers to Islam just criticize brothers and our flaws. There definitely needs to be a sort of “gender balance” in the admonishments given, or we will see these sort of issues — and others not related to modesty — continue or get worse.

Jazakum’Allao khairan.

is simply remarking on someone being attractive (handsome, pretty) in of itself immodest? by this i don’t mean saying anything lewd or sexual, but simply making the remark that they are handsome or are pretty – i know we are commanded to be modest and lower our gaze, so my question is whether this remark is immodest – (note that i am not saying anything like hot, or commenting on body parts, i would say this falls under lewd language and thus immodest)

also related, is remarking on someone being well dressed immodest? remarking on someone’s shirt, suit, etc. you get the picture – if you are the opposite gender.

Jazak Allah khayr for the article and being honest enough to raise the issue. It will however be better for the women to take care of lowering their gaze on their part.

I still feel as a brother, sisters haven’t yet reached the stage of undressing the opposite sex with their eyes and their natural hayaa prevents them from doing so.

Allah knows best.