Sister Ameena,

Thank you for writing this response and calling this out fpr what it is.

People who offer this “hate the sin, not the sinner” type of non-answer/non-solution as a “solution” are all too happy to compartmentalize something they don’t understand so it fits neatly in their worldview.

It’s a convenient way of saying: “you’re not welcome here. you can’t sit with us. you don’t belong. you’re not good enough to be one of us. You don’t exist. But it’s your choice, not ours. You choose to exclude yourself by being honest and open about who you are.”

Ironic considering the indignation with which these same people probably respond to Republican Presidential candidates like Ben Carson who suggest that being Muslim similarly renders you “not good enough to be one of us. But it’s your choice, not ours.”

“Why do you choose to exclude yourself?” is the disingenuous question being posed to lgbt Muslims here.

The approach…like the answer it yields…is uninspired, disengaged, hollow…and un-Islamic. In fact, considering the extreme isolation and state of fear many lgbt Muslims experience; this answer would only seem to compound the internalized guilt, self-loathing and despair that manifests as isolation and fear. Making it especially cruel, heartless and uncompassionate.

To me, it’s particularly offensive- this flowery, verbose rambling style of homophobia with a light smattering of Quranic or Hadith references thrown on (like a hijab donned by someone pretending to be Muslim for Halloween) to lend a more “Islamic” authenticity to what is otherwise just the same, thoughtless pretext for excluding someone else whom they don’t like or understand from the community. In a time when Muslims are consistently excluded from broader society, the satisfaction that comes with creating a slightly more exclusive club must be hard to resist as they close the mosque doors. Makes it easier I supposed to enjoy the sense of community that comes with belonging to a mosque without having to go through the pretense of “tolerating” the presence of someone “undesirable” or the rouse of treating them with respect and dignity, when you believe they are unworthy.

Exclusion from the ummah is the sentence they enforce, based on the judgment they make that lgbt Muslims are unforgivable, unredeemable and any interpretation they find when reading the Quran that doesn’t lead to a “scarlet ‘K'” is simply “wrong.”

The hypocrisy of it all is just too revealing. Which is why, Ameenah, the community is blessed to have honest Muslims like you, who genuinely understand the spirit of Islam and have the courage to lift the veil off of what is really just simple, thoughtless, homophobic nonsense.

Sorry for my long-winded response, but a blog comment here or there is about as much “community access” as many open, honest, queer Muslims are allowed to experience 😉 Thank you for having the courage and thoughtfulness to write a comment pierced the darkness of this dim vein of Islamic jurisprudence to reveal an Islamic light in which my existence actually has a measure of value.

Blessings upon you.

SA

My dear brother, the truth of the matter is that every muslim, male or female should understand one simple fact, “we are servants of Allah (SWT), whose primary purpose is to serve and worship HIM….

Allah has set the rules and given the guidelines to righteousness, and if you look at them properly, they actually serve to make us happier better people! Allah (SWT) will not bend for his servants, we must conform and bend to HIS will if we want a part in the ultimate prize, which is a place in Jannah… In Sha Allah….

Homosexuality is a sin as HE has sternly stated in the Qur’an, a people/township were destroyed for committing that type of lewdness! That shows the gravity of it!
If a man who thinks he’s born gay reads and understands the fear of Allah and the repercussions of sin, he would rethink the very ideology of “born gay”!…..
Let us remember that Allah knows us better than we know ourselves, he knows what we proclaim and what we conceal!

Personally, I’d tell it like it is and not sugarcoat it, thereby making it look like there’s a soft landing of sort for perpetrator of the act! There’s none! Allah is Oft-Forgiving but HE will also not suffer fools except where HE chooses!
We have received the revelations in the Qur’an, hence there are no excuses in truth…. We either love what HE loves and forbid what HE forbids, or there’s trouble to be had!

Let’s think about this for a moment, if we actually follow those rules and guidelines set by Allah, we’d have a peaceful and unperturbed life no matter the situation because we trust completely in HIM…. But if we stick with sin, there’s no real happiness, and we’re paranoid all the time of one thing or the other and this is a fact, I know, I’ve lived it! A word to those who ponder,”a few deluded years of seeming fun here on earth with a resulting doom, or, an eternity of blissful and stately living”? Those are the choices really! So let’s all choose and be guided accordingly….!

Salaam alaykum.

Assamamualaikum

The comment just above yours mentioned something about a homosexual’s brain is wired differently. For your convenience I have copied and pasted it below.

“Andreea
April 5, 2013 at 10:26 am
You are wrong, Sara. Homosexuality is not something you chose or are raised to or taught by society. A homosexual’s brain is wired differently. They respond to same sex pheromones. Moreover, the physical sex of the body and the sexual layout of the brain are predetermined in the womb of the mother by testosterone shots. As i wrote few days ago on the other article on the issue, when the fetus does receive enough testosterone for the bodily layout as masculine but not enough for the brain one as masculine too (the human baby matrix is female, fetuses are all first female then some become male) then we have a physical male with a female brain and so on (man that say they feel female despite having a male’s body). And so on you get homosexual man and women. It is not a choice and saying “to me this issue is that and that” is pretty…well, not ok. To you is one thing, but in fact comes above personal opinions. It is well for us to inform ourselves.
Salamu aleikum to you all.”

I share a very simular story. I have a muslim friend who is dating a woman who he does not like-because he is a homosexual. But because of the pressure from his parents(they know he has homosexual thoughts) he feels the need to marry. He is very sad and angry often now, because he has to become something that he is not. My question for you is-is there no chance that the religion could become more accepting? a lot of religions are making room for change. Thank you, praise Allah

My 2 cents as a muslim with SSA.

1) Regarding scientific data: In above comments half the people mention how there is no study that actually proves anything and the other half says that there is. And if studies are there, they are disregarded as being propganda and biased.
I think everyone is approaching this all wrong, since when did relying on science become a criteria to justify Allah’s existance and everything belonging to Him?. This goes out to both people who claim that research proves homosexuality is Normal(because we all know scientists for decades thought Earth was flat) and those Who quote lack of any proof of authentic research ( well yea, scientists for decades thought earth was flat).. so presence or lack there of scientific research DOESNT NOT prove any claims of both sides.

2) Homosexuality as a choice: As I grew older i realized that acting upon your desires is a sin. but people who claim that its a choice and can be controlled is absolutely wrong. because homosexual thoughs come from two spectrums;-
Being a doctor myself, I know that there are genetic defects such as Klienfelter syndrome and Mullerian dysgenis, premature ovarian failure, where a defect in reproductive system results in masculization or feminization. Now medically the treatment fot them is doing gentical reconstruction and giving them hormones. Now i ask people who claim that as being a choice , what solution do they provide for this? they have testes but the receptors dont work , so all the testosterone is useless. therefore they develop breasts and identify as females but inside they are males. Now, many who have this disease dont even know they have this unless they go to a doctor to find out why for eg a pubertal female is unable to reproduce or have menses.. thats one spectrum of SSA/Homosexuality.
The other is when you DONT have a gentic abnormality per say ( in terms of receptors /hormones /gonadal dysfunction) and yet you do feel that way. for those who said here that its a choice and refrain will heal you in time. I can say no, but Allah knows best.
For me, I remember being a young child of maybe 6/7 years and having both done and had homosexuality acts (Astagfirullah, May Allah forgive me ) i didnt have any abuse or any bad upbringing Alhamdullilah. Yet it was part of my childhood. And as an adult, i only became aware of it, but at the same time terrified of it so i avoid acting on it. There was no media propganda to influence me as a child and neither do i belong to a western society to have attained any sort of influence from there.

Solution? I like one person above is of the believe that homosexuality is a test, and even though u could have those thoughts but refraining from any act for Allah is probably the best way for it (and Allah knows best), just like a person is born blind, or a person who becomes blind by accident ( like a homosexual is born that way, or if he becomes by accident by way of environment upbringing wiring the brain differently) is suppose to take it as a test and do what he is supposed to do ; Worship Allah.

Is a marriage a solution:? A lot of people claim get married and everything will go away. Let me ask anyone of the above commentators and those going to post in future, how many of them if they had daughters/sisters or themselves would say yes to marriage to a man who is either effimenate or having a past but wanting to refrain. if all of you sincerely answer, honest to Allah, you wouldnt want that and would all say NO. This is what worries me, how people give solution to homosexual muslims as marriage , but totally disregard the mental trauma his/her wife is gonna face. In many posts online this aspect is TOTALLY disregarded. Now lets say a sister does get married to man who is homosexual but refrain from acting on but cant get aroused due to anxiety because he practically lived all his life thinking about it ,( just like a person with Heart Attack most common cause of sexual dysnfuction is anxiety ) , so what is it in for the sister? she didnt ask for it? she would live another mental condition of being inadequate, face society/family pressures. I agree love can grow, but im quite sure a man or woman going into marriage dont decide beforehand that they will not have sex . No girl who marries wants that, if you dont want something for yourself, you cant provide that as a solution

Conclusion : Ive learned that being homosexual and muslim is much more heartbreaking than merely calling it a sin. Because even when looking for a solution, there is not one solution which doesnt hurt another human emotionally( marriage). And for muslims who identify as homosexuals, and chose not to act on desires, are much alone than any of the heterosexuals realize
It is truly one of the biggest definition of test, because it utterly relies on self control , restraint, a lonely life, without children ( if u chose not to make your wife go through emotional trauma), a bullying society ( for effeminate kids and adults), and finally the struggle to keep the natural tendency of human to be a sexual being bottled up and live celebite( which is a sin when acted upon on same sex as majority says) and at the same time praying continously to be rid of such thoughts ( dont just assume that people who are having such thoughts didnt pray hard enough or try hard enough,or are distant from Allah hence having it. ) maybe Allah answers according His will and maybe for others it remains as a life long test.
If you think aboutit, its the only thing which consumes an entire believer’s lifetime from child to teenager to adult to beig old ( u dont become a murderer and having muderous thoughts since childhood, or any other sin there of) and I only find relief knowing that there will be a great reward in Akhira for those who give it all away( children, life partner, friends, social life, facing bullying depression, suicide, made fun of ) just because of fear that there is a possibility of it being a sin when acted upon.
Allah knows best.

And you are not a scholar, sister. So, though your opinion matters; the facts are that it is not much. In Surat 7.80, it clearly states the severity of homosexuality as a sin. Allah created nature and it is so.

I agree. Beautiful answer.

Often people compare abstaining from sexual activity to an addiction such as alcoholism or drug dependency.This is how sexual offenders are often “treated”. I never believed alcoholism presents the same dilemma for a drinker as abstinence does for a sexual deviant.
Firstly,I know what it is like to refrain from doing something like eating a sweet cake or having a drink, or even smoking a cigarette(I used to smoke). I never felt upset that I could not have a drink, or smoke or eat something that I had the urge to eat/drink/smoke.However, when you see someone you feel strongly attracted to, it is indeed upsetting that you cannot have that person as a partner.I find limited similarity between the desire to consume a substance, and the desire to fulfill an innate desire which is intended by nature to be intensely compelling.It is like me saying to someone “I know you are upset that your daughter has died, but if you use your will power and just stop thinking about it, you will overcome this need for your daughter”. When an alcoholic abstains from drinking,they are returned to a natural state of soberness.When a homosexual abstains from homosexuality, they return to an unnatural state of never having sex or intimacy.It is not a natural state of existence to not ever have sex.Not only do you abstain from sex,but you abstain from expressing affection to those who you are attracted to.Again that is like me saying “I know you love your daughter, but you are prohibited from hugging her because it does not fit my rules,please do not hug,kiss,touch your daughter”.
To summarise, yes it is possible to abstain from homosexuality.It is possible to abstain from screaming when someone throws a pot of boiling water over you.It is possible to abstain from eating untill one starves to death.It should not be underestimated the difficulty imposed on people to be abstinent.Yes there are non homosexuals who have to be abstinent for various reasons,and they would be in the same boat.When you consider that homosexuals typically do not share their feelings and difficulties with others due to the stigma attatched, you find that the emotional stresses of this could be quite bad.Indeed, it is a very bad thing to be burdened with homosexuality!