As a mother and active community member, I’ve thought about this issue a lot. Here are some thoughts, that are not necessarily about the poem, but about the issues the poem brings up. And I’m mainly looking at it from the angle of kids from public school –

– A lot of kids resent going to the masjid on their weekends – it’s like a 6-day work week for them. Plus, the once a week infusion of Islam feels kinda random to them.

– The once-a-week trip to the masjid for some kids means a novel environment with a bunch of kids he/she hasn’t seen in a while. Rambunctious behavior often ensues, which is barely tolerated at the masjid, if at all. Another issue — in american public schools, being assertive and even loud is expected, and maybe even encouraged – by both peers and authority figures. To expect kids who daily have to survive and thrive in this context to suddenly ratchet it down to the level expected of other muslim peers who, due to other cultural influences, barely talk or move or express emotion in public, is unfair. Especially since alternatives other than public school are either unavailable or unattainable for the majority of families for a variety of reasons .

– – There is an elite-religious-masjid-families vs. public-school-not-so-religious-families division I’ve seen at every masjid in my vicinity. I’m sorry to report that often (in my experience) families who practically live at the masjid have poor attitudes toward kids who frequent the masjid “only” once or twice a week. I know many families who simply do not allow their kids to mix with public school kids at the masjid. How can these public school kids have a good peer group if the so-called good kids can’t mix with them! I’ve personally heard an islamic school official talk to his students about the public school students as if they were intruders into the masjid who had to be watched and defended against. No wonder many youth don’t like to go to the masjid – who likes a place where they feel inferior or like they don’t fit in? Well, right now they don’t fit in. So we have to make room for them.

– – A lot of parents are in a tough bind. Some of them were raised to believe that islam is only found or taught at the masjid. maybe they weren’t raised with much knowledge, and so out of a sense of deference to knowledgeable people, they don’t teach it much at home. What about families in repressive countries that have had their religiousity scared out of them?

But even very knowledgeable parents with kids in public school have faced a really, really tough time. Kids in public school are under tremendous pressure to conform and be normal (they are after all being socialized at school – which means fitting into society), and parents who work cannot counteract this easily, if at all.

The “success story” kids we know locally who have survived public school with their Islamic identity intact – meaning praying 5 times a day, etc. – were instructed not to interact with any non-muslim kids in school – couldn’t sit with them at lunch, for example – and had a very large extended network of same-age muslim relatives with whom they interacted outside of school. For some families this is untenable, and, considering the segregation this method entails, undesirable. We need to find other models that have worked.

– For my part, I’ve concluded that, better than sunday school, insha’Allah, is to have some kind of study hall during the week for muslim students who go to public school, so that their lives become more integrated and not this ratio: Non-muslim environment 6, Islamic environment 1. Instead, 5 days a week after school, the kids would be around their muslim peer group, doing their regular homework, having snacks/game time, praying salaat, getting a bit of regular Islamic educational input, etc.

We could cut the daily ratio down to maybe 6 hours non-muslim environment at school to 4 hours islamic study hall at the masjid or other suitable venue.

Allah Knows best. Thank you for this poem that expressed so much of the frustration and concern we are all experiencing.

This poem is great! I have been a Sunday school YG teacher for years now (and previously a director as well for the school) and one of those hard moments is when a parent comes in all upset because we aren’t teaching this or that, or they want to know why we aren’t doing things a certain way. The biggest question is “why aren’t you teaching the YG how to pray? They don’t know how, and they don’t do their prayers….” And my reply, “how old is your son/daughter?” And the reply is in their teens……

I feel sad, but none the less, it is a great opportunity to help them learn their Deen, to plant seeds i their minds and hearts, that insha’Allah, they will harvest later.

Jazakillah Khair.

If only we can really understand the depth of your words. JazakAllah sister..