For me, when you live in western countries , you cant expect same sitiation when you live in nuslim majority countries. That is what community for. Where we can embrace each other, knowing how to be a muslim & good citizen at certain country too.

We shouldnt let headscarf blocking our activities. When I have to teach my kids to swim (since no women only swimming pool), then diving clothe with or without swimming cap would work. For me, just try to do best & choose best option available.

Faith is going up & down. Sometimes going out without scarf for a day makes you appreciate how comfortable it is when you wear scarf. If we ask all the time, who should we pleased? ( creations or Creator?), we will learn slowly to make right decision. Seeing many people died in different way, different age, makes me realize what final destination is. When you wear scarf, you might loose friends, etc but that shouldnt stop you from wearing scarf & trying to be who you really are. Insha Allah, you will have better friends, etc. With or without scarf, we are tested with problems daily. It might seems hard in process but it is worthy.
As long as we do good, we will receive good.