How to Achieve Tranquility of the Heart Series

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII | Part IX | Part X | Part XI | Part XII | Part XIII | Part XIV | Part XV | Part XVI | Part XVII | Part XVIII | Part XIX | Part XX

Sometimes it feels like it’s just too much – these fluctuations in our iman, the repeated sinning, the feeling that “I just don’t deserve Allah’s mercy.” The tests always feel like punishments. There is a constant worry about the future: my marriage, my money, my career, my ummah (community)… And some difficulties just feel like they are too great to overcome. We know we’re not supposed to ask this, but the question at the back of our minds is, “Why me?”

We have all heard that we should never despair of Allah’s Mercy. And on the surface, we try not to, but Shaytaan (the Devil) has a trick. We tend to despair of ourselves and our incapacity to change things, especially the inner turmoil that we feel. And the effect of this is basically the same as despairing of Allah’s mercy. We do not always accept that Allah can take us out of the situation we are in and we don’t need to ‘deserve’ the trouble; Allah isn’t punishing us and we don’t need to be perfect.

This doesn’t mean, however, that we shouldn’t strive, or take ourselves to account when we do mess up. The key is to develop our relationship with Allah during that trouble. If we know Allah, no situation is too hopeless. No sadness is ever permanent. We perceive trials as they are meant to be perceived – as tests of our trust in Allah, forcing us to put our knowledge into practice and bringing us closer to Him. These trials could potentially be a punishment too, that is if we let it affect us negatively by completely turning away from Him because of our sadness. But our awareness of our own state and our understanding of Allah’s Mercy allows us to turn the punishment into something positive that is manifested through repentance to Allah, alongside increasing in hasanat (good deeds) in order to erase the bad deeds.

The first exercise is for us to consciously realize that Allah knows. Whatever grief we go through, whatever hardship we endure, we must understand that we are never alone. Even if we feel abandoned by the world and those closest to us, Allah is there. He reminds us in the Qur’an,

“Fear not. Indeed, I am with you [both]; I hear and I see.” (20:46)

As long as we begin by recognizing that Allah is with us and He is close to us, there remains a solution to our inner worries. There are things we need to know in order to develop our relationship with Allah. Then there are things we need to do in order to maintain that closeness to Allah. And finally, there are things we need to aspire for to achieve the ideal relationship with our Lord. We pray that by the end of the series, we will all have developed a stronger relationship with Allah.

Note: some of us suffer from clinical depression or similar medical conditions, and this needs to be dealt with by a professional. Working on our relationship with Allah no doubt helps, but sometimes more than a spiritual fix may be needed.

Allah subhanahu wa ta`la (exalted is He) has given Himself Names and attributes (siffat) so that we can know Him. What is most amazing and beautiful about Allah’s Names is that through them, you can see how your Creator recognizes the needs of His creation.

We all need sustenance; and He is al-Razzaaq, The Provider. We all need love; and He is al-Wadud, The Most Loving. We all need protection; and Allah is al-Hafidh, The Guardian. What we need the most is the very thing of which Allah (swt) has an unlimited supply.

And so sometimes we are put through things to know Allah (swt). Sometimes it is to open your eyes to your own flaws so that you can change. But whatever it is, if you realize that the answer to any problem is through Him, and that He suffices all your needs, then your relief is already at hand.

Recently, I found myself to be very lost. And this was alarming because I used to be a person who had direction. I thought I knew where I was going and what I was doing. But things started to fall apart, internally. I wasn’t sure anymore. And then I realized I had three choices – to continue to do what I was doing without putting in any extra thought, to give up entirely, or to re-assess and re-orient.

And because this feeling persisted for a while, I realized something else. I came to know Allah’s attribute of Guidance.

Sometimes this feeling of being lost can bring us closer to Allah (swt).

What is the meaning of this problem? Why are we stuck? We need to feel as though we do not know where we are going, because that is when we start searching. And that is precisely when Allah (swt) shows you that He is The Guide (al-Haadi), and how life changes when the Light of God is in it.

Perhaps you started out something with a sense of purpose, but in your journey you were knocked off the path towards the greater goal. You need al-Haadi. Maybe you are having some sort of mid-life crisis. You need al-Haadi. And we cannot for one moment believe that there is no way out and no right path. Allah (swt) says in a hadith qudsi (record of the words of the Prophet ﷺ, peace be upon him),

“O My servants, all of you are astray except for those I have guided, so seek guidance of Me and I shall guide you,” (Muslim).

As Allah (swt) gave Himself the attributes of Guidance and Light, how can we ever believe that we will be in darkness for too long?

Say, for example, you are drowning in a pool. Who will you usually call out for? The lifeguard. The lifeguard is already there, watching out for people, and because that is his job, when you call out to him he’ll jump in there to save you. Now Allah (swt) is over and above any analogy, but as Allah (swt) gave Himself the attribute of guidance, telling you that He is THE Guide and He is THE Light of the heavens and the earth, then how can you be lost for too long? Especially if you seek Him. Are we saying that lifeguards do their job better than Allah (swt)?

So what does it mean to go to Allah al-Haadi? It means to take the first step of realizing that He has this attribute, and having the certainty that Allah (swt) will not turn a seeker away. Secondly, it means to ask Him. Make du`a’ (supplication), pray istikhara (the prayer for guidance) and talk to Him. Thirdly, it means to use the means around us. Re-assess your goals, seek people’s advice and take the steps needed to try to find an answer. When we feel an internal instability, these steps may be hard, but Allah (swt) tells us “And those who strive for Us – We will surely guide them to Our ways […]” (Qur’an, 29:69).

And so we have to strive. We have to search. It will be hard. And there will be moments of confusion. But the Prophet ﷺ taught us: “Know that victory comes with patience, relief with affliction, and ease with hardship,” (Tirmidhi).

One final action is that we cannot let Shaytan (the devil) make us lose hope and make us keep questioning ourselves. There is a point when confusion becomes wiswaas (whispers) – a sort of paranoia from the Devil. Only when we realize that Allah (swt) is the ultimate Guide and we are seeking Him in the proper way, will we gain full trust in Him and know that He will not allow us to be led astray.

“So those who believe in Allah and hold fast to Him – He will admit them to mercy from Himself and bounty and guide them to Himself on a straight path.” (Qur’an, 4:175)

Why Do People Have to Leave Each Other? Part I | Part II

When I was 17 years old, I had a dream. I dreamt that I was sitting inside a masjid and a little girl walked up to ask me a question. She asked me: “Why do people have to leave each other?” The question was a personal one, but it seemed clear to me why the question was chosen for me.

I was one to get attached.

Ever since I was a child, this temperament was clear. While other children in preschool could easily recover once their parents left, I could not. My tears, once set in motion, did not stop easily. As I grew up, I learned to become attached to everything around me. From the time I was in first grade, I needed a best friend. As I got older, any fall-out with a friend shattered me. I couldn’t let go of anything. People, places, events, photographs, moments—even outcomes became objects of strong attachment. If things didn’t work out the way I wanted or imagined they should, I was devastated. And disappointment for me wasn’t an ordinary emotion. It was catastrophic. Once let down, I never fully recovered. I could never forget, and the break never mended. Like a glass vase that you place on the edge of a table, once broken, the pieces never quite fit again.

But the problem wasn’t with the vase. Or even that the vases kept breaking. The problem was that I kept putting them on the edge of tables. Through my attachments, I was dependent on my relationships to fulfill my needs. I allowed those relationships to define my happiness or my sadness, my fulfillment or my emptiness, my security, and even my self-worth. And so, like the vase placed where it will inevitably fall, through those dependencies I set myself up for disappointment. I set myself up to be broken. And that’s exactly what I found: one disappointment, one break after another.

But the people who broke me were not to blame any more than gravity can be blamed for breaking the vase. We can’t blame the laws of physics when a twig snaps because we leaned on it for support. The twig was never created to carry us.

Our weight was only meant to be carried by God. We are told in the Quran: “…whoever rejects evil and believes in God hath grasped the most trustworthy hand-hold, that never breaks. And God hears and knows all things.” (Qur’an 2: 256)

There is a crucial lesson in this verse: that there is only one handhold that never breaks. There is only one place where we can lay our dependencies. There is only one relationship that should define our self-worth and only one source from which to seek our ultimate happiness, fulfillment, and security. That place is God.

But this world is all about seeking those things everywhere else. Some of us seek it in our careers, some seek it in wealth, some in status. Some, like me, seek it in our relationships. In her book, Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert describes her own quest for happiness. She describes moving in and out of relationships, and even traveling the globe in search of this fulfillment. She seeks that fulfillment—unsuccessfully—in her relationships, in meditation, even in food.

And that’s exactly where I spent much of my own life: seeking a way to fill my inner void. So it was no wonder that the little girl in my dream asked me this question. It was a question about loss, about disappointment. It was a question about being let down. A question about seeking something and coming back empty handed. It was about what happens when you try to dig in concrete with your bare hands: not only do you come back with nothing—you break your fingers in the process. And I learned this not by reading it, not by hearing it from a wise sage. I learned it by trying it again, and again, and again.

And so, the little girl’s question was essentially my own question…being asked to myself.

Ultimately, the question was about the nature of the dunya as a place of fleeting moments and temporary attachments. As a place where people are with you today, and leave or die tomorrow. But this reality hurts our very being because it goes against our nature. We, as humans, are made to seek, love, and strive for what is perfect and what is permanent. We are made to seek what’s eternal. We seek this because we were not made for this life. Our first and true home was Paradise: a land that is both perfect and eternal. So the yearning for that type of life is a part of our being. The problem is that we try to find that here. And so we create ageless creams and cosmetic surgery in a desperate attempt to hold on—in an attempt to mold this world into what it is not, and will never be.

And that’s why if we live in dunya with our hearts, it breaks us. That’s why this dunya hurts. It is because the definition of dunya, as something temporary and imperfect, goes against everything we are made to yearn for. Allah put a yearning in us that can only be fulfilled by what is eternal and perfect. By trying to find fulfillment in what is fleeting, we are running after a hologram…a mirage. We are digging into concrete with our bare hands. Seeking to turn what is by its very nature temporary into something eternal is like trying to extract from fire, water.  You just get burned. Only when we stop putting our hopes in dunya, only when we stop trying to make the dunya into what it is not—and was never meant to be (jannah)—will this life finally stop breaking our hearts.

We must also realize that nothing happens without a purpose. Nothing. Not even broken hearts. Not even pain. That broken heart and that pain are lessons and signs for us. They are warnings that something is wrong. They are warnings that we need to make a change. Just like the pain of being burned is what warns us to remove our hand from the fire, emotional pain warns us that we need to make an internal change. That we need to detach. Pain is a form of forced detachment. Like the loved one who hurts you again and again and again, the more dunya hurts us, the more we inevitably detach from it. The more we inevitably stop loving it.

And pain is a pointer to our attachments. That which makes us cry, that which causes us most pain is where our false attachments lie. And it is those things which we are attached to as we should only be attached to Allah which become barriers on our path to God. But the pain itself is what makes the false attachment evident. The pain creates a condition in our life that we seek to change, and if there is anything about our condition that we don’t like, there is a divine formula to change it. God says: “Verily never will God change the condition of a people until they change what is within themselves.” (Qur’an, 13:11)

After years of falling into the same pattern of disappointments and heartbreak, I finally began to realize something profound. I had always thought that love of dunya meant being attached to material things. And I was not attached to material things. I was attached to people. I was attached to moments. I was attached to emotions. So I thought that the love of dunya just did not apply to me. What I didn’t realize was that people, moments, emotions are all a part of dunya. What I didn’t realize is that all the pain I had experienced in life was due to one thing, and one thing only: love of dunya.

As soon as I began to have that realization, a veil was lifted from my eyes. I started to see what my problem was. I was expecting this life to be what it is not, and was never meant to be: perfect. And being the idealist that I am, I was struggling with every cell in my body to make it so. It had to be perfect. And I would not stop until it was. I gave my blood, sweat, and tears to this endeavor: making the dunya into jannah. This meant expecting people around me to be perfect. Expecting my relationships to be perfect. Expecting so much from those around me and from this life. Expectations. Expectations. Expectations. And if there is one recipe for unhappiness it is that: expectations. But herein lay my fatal mistake. My mistake was not in having expectations; as humans, we should never lose hope. The problem was in *where* I was placing those expectations and that hope. At the end of the day, my hope and expectations were not being placed in God. My hope and expectations were in people, relationships, means. Ultimately, my hope was in this dunya rather than Allah.

And so I came to realize a very deep Truth. An ayah began to cross my mind. It was an ayah I had heard before, but for the first time I realized that it was actually describing me:  “Those who rest not their hope on their meeting with Us, but are pleased and satisfied with the life of the present, and those who heed not Our Signs.” (Qur’an, 10:7)

By thinking that I can have everything here, my hope was not in my meeting with God. My hope was in dunya. But what does it mean to place your hope in dunya? How can this be avoided? It means when you have friends, don’t expect your friends to fill your emptiness. When you get married, don’t expect your spouse to fulfill your every need. When you’re an activist, don’t put your hope in the results. When you’re in trouble don’t depend on yourself. Don’t depend on people. Depend on God.

Seek the help of people—but realize that it is not the people (or even your own self) that can save you. Only Allah can do these things. The people are only tools, a means used by God. But they are not the source of help, aid, or salvation of any kind. Only God is. The people cannot even create the wing of a fly (22:73).  And so, even while you interact with people externally, turn your heart towards God. Face Him alone, as Prophet Ibrahim (as) said so beautifully: “For me, I have set my face, firmly and truly, towards Him Who created the heavens and the earth, and never shall I give partners to Allah.” (Qur’an, 6:79)

But how does Prophet Ibrahim (as) describe his journey to that point? He studies the moon, the sun and the stars and realizes that they are not perfect. They set.

They let us down.

So Prophet Ibrahim (as) was thereby led to face Allah alone. Like him, we need to put our full hope, trust, and dependency on God. And God alone. And if we do that, we will learn what it means to finally find peace and stability of heart. Only then will the roller coaster that once defined our lives finally come to an end. That is because if our inner state is dependent on something that is by definition inconstant, that inner state will also be inconstant. If our inner state is dependent on something changing and temporary, that inner state will be in a constant state of instability, agitation, and unrest. This means that one moment we’re happy, but as soon as that which our happiness depended upon changes, our happiness also changes. And we become sad. We remain always swinging from one extreme to another and not realizing why.

We experience this emotional roller coaster because we can never find stability and lasting peace until our attachment and dependency is on what is stable and lasting. How can we hope to find constancy if what we hold on to is inconstant and perishing? In the statement of Abu Bakr is a deep illustration of this truth. After the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ died, the people went into shock and could not handle the news. But although no one loved the Prophet ﷺ like Abu Bakr, Abu Bakr understood well the only place where one’s dependency should lie. He said: “If you worshipped Muhammad, know that Muhammad is dead. But if you worshipped Allah, know that Allah never dies.”

To attain that state, don’t let your source of fulfillment be anything other than your relationship with God. Don’t let your definition of success, failure, or self-worth be anything other than your position with Him (Qur’an, 49:13). And if you do this, you become unbreakable, because your handhold is unbreakable. You become unconquerable, because your supporter can never be conquered. And you will never become empty, because your source of fulfillment is unending and never diminishes.

Looking back at the dream I had when I was 17, I wonder if that little girl was me. I wonder this because the answer I gave her was a lesson I would need to spend the next painful years of my life learning. My answer to her question of why people have to leave each other was: “because this life isn’t perfect; for if it was, what would the next be called?”

Events like these reveal or affect our perceptions of Allah. This is why it is even more crucial to get to know God and reflect upon His attributes. If we find ourselves despairing from the mercy of God, we should remember that Allah tells us in a hadith Qudsi (sacred hadith):

“I am as my servant expects me” [Bukhari]

If you believe that Allah is not merciful or wise, all you will find in the world is harshness and senselessness. But when you know that God is the Most Merciful, the Most Wise, and the Most Just, that should change the way we view any trial or tribulation. The Prophet ﷺ (peace be upon him) reminds us in a hadith (saying of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ):

“Wondrous is the affair of the believer for there is good for him in every matter and this is not the case with anyone except the believer. If he is happy, then he thanks Allah and thus there is good for him, and if he is harmed, then he shows patience and thus there is good for him.” [Sahih Muslim]

God has decreed good in everything, even in what appears to harm us, if we show patience.

Tribulations in the Qur’an

Allah explains to us the meanings of different hardships in the Qur’an. He says,

“And We tested them with good and bad that perhaps they would return.” [Qur’an, 7:168]

“Do they not see that they are tried every year once or twice but then they do not repent nor do they remember?” [Qur’an 9:126]

“And We test you with evil and with good as trial…” [Qur’an, 21:35]

“Corruption has appeared throughout the land and sea by [reason of] what the hands of people have earned so He may let them taste part of [the consequence of] what they have done that perhaps they will return [to righteousness].” [Qur’an 30:41]

“And we will surely let them taste the nearer punishment short of the greater punishment that perhaps they will return [repent].” [Quran, 32:21]

“And We showed them not a sign except that it was greater than its sister, and We seized them with affliction that perhaps they might return [to faith].” [Qur’an, 43:48]

“[He] who created death and life to test you [as to] which of you is best in deed…” [Surat al-Mulk, 67:2]

Some hardships could be punishments. Others are tests. Others uncover hidden blessings (such as in Surat al-Kahf, which we will discuss). Sometimes it is a combination of all three, and other reasons we may not be aware of, too.

The ultimate reason for hardship is not something that any human being can say for sure. We can speculate in order to reflect on our personal actions and change what needs to be changed. But that is about it. The true reason is in the knowledge of God.

Yet, the spiritual effect of a hardship on us, though, should not be speculative. Regardless of what the true cause of a hardship is, we see a pattern. Throughout the Qur’an, Allah allows people to be exposed to these hardships so that they and we may return, as well as in order to show who of us will be best in deeds.

The truth is, there may be a different purpose for each individual. Here we will focus on how we should conceptualize hardships and the actions that we can take.

Punishment? And Return(ing) to Allah

Time and time again, Allah tells us that one of the reasons that we are exposed to hardships, trials, and the “lesser punishment” is so that we can return to Him.

We tend to interpret punishments in this world as though they are the final judgment – that the punishment brands us as eternally unworthy or bad or evil. And this is why we may become resentful or despair when someone suggests that a hardship could be a punishment. If it is indeed a punishment – it may not be – the fact that you are alive means that it is not the final judgment; far from it. Every new day is an opportunity for good deeds. If Allah gave you life it is in order to increase in your good deeds. The punishment is simply a consequence of the bad action, to alert us as well as to purify us, and the punishment comes from the Most Merciful and the Most Wise; this means that there is a purpose. He is also al-Halīm (the Forbearing), meaning that He is not hasty in His punishment nor rash. If what is happening is indeed a punishment, it did not come out of nowhere. But it is far from a final judgment; rather it is a wake-up call.

Allah wants us to reflect on our actions and return to Him, as He states so many times in the Qur’an. Without this hardship, many of us may have continued being heedless. It is ultimately a mercy because reacting with patience and returning to Allah raises our station, and by the grace of God averts the greater punishment on the Day of Judgment.

So what does returning to Allah look like? If we know that we are doing something that we should not, it looks like trying to leave that sin and seeking forgiveness. It looks like making more time for devotional acts. It looks like being kinder towards others. It looks like still turning to God in hope even after we have faced a calamity.

One of the reasons why a tribulation being described as a punishment makes some despair is because some people are already truly doing what they can. If this describes you, maybe the hardship is not a punishment at all. Perhaps it is something else.

There is another purpose.

Hardships and Tests: Perseverance and Forgiveness

Allah says that we are tested with both good and bad. Part of the purpose is returning to Him, and it is also for raising our station. The Prophet ﷺ said,

“Nothing afflicts a Muslim of hardship, nor illness, nor anxiety, nor sorrow, nor harm, nor distress, nor even the pricking of a thorn, but that Allah will expiate his sins by it.” [Bukhari/Muslim]

Any discomfort that is met by patience and turning to Allah results in expiation of sins. A person who is faced with such trials may even meet Allah with no sin at all. The Prophet ﷺ said, “When Allah loves a servant, He tests him,” [Tirmidhi]. Why? Tests mean a forgiveness of sin, and of the person turning to Allah more. The Prophet ﷺ also reminds us:

“I am amazed by the believer. If he is granted goodness, he praises Allah and is grateful. If he is afflicted with a calamity, he praises Allah and is patient. The believer is rewarded for every matter, even lifting a morsel of food to his wife’s mouth.” [Musnad Ahmad]

Moreover, when we are in difficulty, we are reminded to turn to Him and call to Him with all our heart. Indeed, trials remind us of our need for Allah, causing us to turn to Him with utmost sincerity. They remind us of ultimately who is in control, of the temporary nature of this world, and working for the hereafter. Thus, if we find ourselves hard hit by this tribulation, we should know that Allah is with us throughout this struggle. We should talk to Him, telling Him our fears and our hopes, and asking for His mercy.

The Best Deeds

Another reason is to see who will be doing the best deeds. Does hardship bring out the worst in us? Do we lose hope, hoard, and only look out for ourselves? Or are we hopeful in God, generous in giving, and actively look for those who need help so that we can be there for them?

The truth is, this global situation is affecting each of us in very different ways. Some may be suffering economically and maybe lost their jobs; others may be stuck in accommodation with someone abusive. On the other end of the spectrum, some may have only had to make simple lifestyle changes. So the “best deeds” look different in each situation. If you are particularly affected, the “best deeds” may be taking care of your family, or continuing to go to work if your field requires it. For those who are minimally impacted, the best deeds may be to provide relief for those who are truly suffering. The Prophet ﷺ tells us:

“The most beloved people to Allah are those who are most beneficial to the people.” [Sahih]

He ﷺ also said,

“Whoever walks with his brother regarding a need until he secures it for him, then Allah the Exalted will make his footing firm across the bridge on the day when the footings are shaken”. [Sahih]

The question remains: who will we be in this crisis?

Averting greater hardships

In Surat al-Kahf, we are told the story of al-Khidr damaging the boat, as well as the death of the child of two righteous people. What appears to be a “bad thing happening to good people”, we later discover, actually averted a greater calamity. For the people of the boat, it averted having their boat completely taken from them by a tyrant king, who only wanted boats in a good condition. This is something that is not discovered until later on, even though in the moment, the people must have been dismayed. As for the parents whose child died, this is probably the most devastating thing that can happen to a parent. But Allah tells us that it averted the greater calamity for these two good people: that of seeing their child become an oppressor. This blessing and wisdom in this situation will not be seen until the Day of Judgment, where they will ultimately be reunited with their child in Paradise.

Collectively, maybe the lowering of pollution levels due to the quarantines will help to avert or delay a greater environmental calamity hitting. Maybe governments that did not believe in providing basic necessities for people will rethink their policies. Individually, perhaps losing our job will open the door to a better one. Perhaps being forced to stay with family whom we do not have a good relationship with force us to make amends. Perhaps the perseverance and faith we exhibit during these trying times are what make us of the people of Paradise. These could all be part of the purpose, but we will not know until later, and until actually going through the hardship.

May we be of those who face hardship with patience and gratitude, who react to punishment and tests by returning to Allah and making amends, and those who receive the bounty and love of the Most Merciful.

anchor.fm/faithspacemj

A few years ago, in April of 2010, I wrote some reflections on the volcanic ash cloud that had erupted, causing plane travel to halt worldwide. At the time, I was supposed to be visiting London, but our flight was cancelled at the last minute.

At the time, it seemed crazy that a volcano erupting in Iceland could literally bring the world to a halt. But it was a time for reflection on the things we take for granted, the power of Allah, and focusing on the truly important things.

In the midst of this Corona epidemic, I started thinking back to that standstill, and the current one we are experiencing. Thinking about it now, we were not as attached to our phones then (did Instagram even exist?), and while it is easy to distract ourselves with a constant stream of messages and stories, there are bigger lessons we should be taking. While everyone is dealing with it in a different way, I started thinking of the spiritual messages we should be paying attention to. Below are some reflections.

Turn to Allah

In this age of distraction, focus and mindfulness are endangered species. While if this had happened 20 years ago we would be forced to reflect or at least have moments of reflection, our Instagrams, Twitter, and Whatsapps are beeping off the charts. We wake up to messages and fall asleep to them, and the quarantine has made us depend on them more since we use them to communicate with people we would otherwise be seeing in real life.

When the Companions of the Prophet ﷺ experienced anything that appeared out of the ordinary, they turned to Allah. Everything was considered a sign and opportunity to reflect on Allah’s power and on ourselves. It is no coincidence that we have a specific prayer during an eclipse, supplications for witnessing the new moon, and prayers for when we are ill (and so much more).

Perhaps this period of social distancing and self-isolation is so that we can find times of solitude to be with Allah. If we are feeling stressed and overwhelmed, this is the time to put the phone away and pray to Allah, express to Him our stress, and ask for His help.

Indeed, Allah is al-Rabb (the Lord), al-Samad (the Eternal Refuge), and al-Wakil (the Trustee).

I’m linking here to the Sweetness of Prayer Series and the Names of Allah series, only because we all need a place to start, and there is no better way to turn to Allah than through knowing Him and turning to Him in devoted prayer.

Quran
Most of us have likely heard of the saying “When you want to talk to Allah, pray, and when you want Him to talk to you, recite the Qur’an”. We can take some time in the morning or before bed to recite the Qur’an, and if we are busy taking care of kids who are out of school, we can listen to Qur’an. Sheikh ash-Sha’rawi in his book of tafseer (commentary on the Qur’an) quoted a beautiful statement of Imam Ja’far as-Sadiq, who he said was the most knowledgeable of the secrets of the Qur’an:

“I am amazed at the one who has been afflicted with fear, and he does not flee to the Words of Allah:
‘Sufficient for us is Allah, and [He is] the best Disposer of affairs’ for verily Allah has said after it
‘So they returned with favor from Allah and bounty, no harm having touched them.’ (Qur’an, 3:173-174)

And I am amazed at the person who is afflicted with sadness, and he does not flee to the Words of Allah:

‘There is no deity except You; exalted are You. Indeed, I have been of the wrongdoers,’ for verily Allah has said after it
‘So We responded to him and saved him from the distress. And thus do We save the believers.’ (Qur’an, 21:87-88)

And I am amazed at the person who is afflicted with betrayal and deception by people, and he does not flee to the Words of Allah:

‘I entrust my affair to Allah. Indeed, Allah is Seeing of [His] servants’ for verily Allah has said after it:
‘So Allah protected him from the evils they plotted, and the people of Pharaoh were enveloped by the worst of punishment.’ (Qur’an, 40:44-45)

And I am amazed at the person who is afflicted with sickness, and he does not flee to the Words of Allah:

‘Indeed, adversity has touched me, and you are the Most Merciful of the merciful,’ for verily Allah has said after it:
‘So We responded to him and removed what afflicted him of adversity. And We gave him [back] his family and the like thereof with them as mercy from Us and a reminder for the worshippers [of Allah].’” (Qur’an, 21:83-84)

The Qur’an is a true reminder of what is truly important, and a comfort to the hearts.

Istighfar (seeking forgiveness)  

The companions (may Allah be pleased with them) and the righteous that came after them regarded everything as a sign of Allah; and thought that perhaps it was their sins that caused these disasters to affect them. They would repent and seek help from God. Seeking forgiveness from Allah allows us to reflect on our states, seek to rectify ourselves, and take our actions more seriously. It lifts the burden of the mistakes we carry on our shoulders, and brings us closer to Allah.


Social Distancing and Social Care

While it is imperative for people to practice social distancing, it is even more important to check up on people. Maybe your pantry is full, but is your neighbor’s? And even wider than that, healthcare and other workers need our help. We should be considerate of how we use facilities or expose ourselves and others to risk. Finally, if we are fortunate enough to be able to donate, we should do so in order to get much needed help to those who need it. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “Good works protect from evil fates. Charity in secret extinguishes the wrath of the Lord, maintaining family ties increases life span, and every good deed is charity. The people of good in the world are the people of good in the Hereafter, and the people of evil in the world are the people of evil in the Hereafter. And the first to enter Paradise are the people of good.” [al-Mu’jam al-Awsaṭ 6252]

Du’a  

Du’a is an expression of need and trust. We are told:
“And your Lord says, ‘Call upon Me; I will respond to you.'” [Surat Ghafir, 40:60]  

This is the time to turn to Allah and ask Him with all of our hearts. I pray that you are all healthy and well, and may we use this time to truly do what is important.

Photo: Matt Carman

Originally posted in 2007.

What do you think of when you see a Muslim doing something considered wrong?

Ever look down on them? Think you are better than them? It’s really easy to be self-righteous. It’s even easier to fall prey to this attitude if you sport the outer ‘righteous’ look.

But let’s ask ourselves this question: has Allah written us amongst His righteous servants? Or is that a title we have only given ourselves?

Check this:

I was once sitting at the da`wah (outreach) table on my college campus and a female student approached it. She asked if she could have a Qur’an, and of course, I was happy to give one to her. Then she said, “Can I ask you a question?”  The question sounded kind of deep, so I invited her to sit next to me on the empty chair. She took up the offer.

“Please don’t judge me,” she began. SubhanAllah (glory be to God)! The courage it must have taken for her to come and speak to me, for her to begin with that statement.

After reassuring her, how could I judge her? She began—

She told me that she was Muslim and she became involved in a relationship for the first time in her life with a Muslim guy. Her intention was for long term, but she felt so terrible doing it. She told me when she is with her boyfriend, she feels horrible, even though she thinks she is supposed to feel good. She told me that she knows that this is such a big sin, that she wants to stop, but that it is just so, so hard. And she asked me: Can Allah forgive me?

While this girl was speaking, I was looking at her thinking: look at the struggle she is going through for the sake of God. She hates what she is doing because she knows it’s something He would not be pleased with, she wants so much for God to forgive her, but it is so hard for her to leave what she knows she shouldn’t do.

Her desire to repent became so intense that she came to me, a girl she has never even seen before, who could easily judge her, and poured out her heart. She was so desperate in her wanting to know: Could Allah forgive her? Could He really forgive such a sin?

I told her—man, God is THE MOST MERCIFUL! He will forgive ANYTHING when you turn to Him! I kept telling her about God’s Mercy, about how He is so, so happy to accept the repentance of His creation.

We kept talking about how God must be pleased with her internal struggle because she clearly wants to gain His pleasure despite her difficulty. We looked at the Holy Hadith, where God talks about us and says:

“O child of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O child of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O child of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as it.” (Ahmad)

She was overwhelmed with emotion. I then shared with her a supplication that, if said with firm belief in the morning or evening, and if death happens on that day or night, the person who said it would be amongst the people of Paradise.

The Prophet ﷺ (peace be upon us) taught us the chief supplication (sayyidul istighfaar) of asking for forgiveness as follows:

اللَّهُمَّ أَنْتَ رَبِّي لا إِلَهَ إِلا أَنْتَ خَلَقْتَنِي وَأَنَا عَبْدُكَ وَأَنَا عَلَى عَهْدِكَ وَوَعْدِكَ مَا اسْتَطَعْتُ أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ شَرِّ مَا صَنَعْتُ أَبُوءُ لَكَ بِنِعْمَتِكَ عَلَيَّ وَأَبُوءُ لَكَ بِذَنْبِي فَاغْفِرْ لِي فَإِنَّهُ لا يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ إِلا أَنْتَ

Allahumma anta rabbi, la ilaha illa anta, khalaqtani wa ana abduka [if you’re a male]/amatuk [if you’re a female], wa ana ‘ala `ahdika wa wa`dika mastata`tu. A`udhu bika min sharri ma sana`tu, abu’u laka bini`matika ‘alaiya, wa abu’u laka bidhanbi, faghfirli, fainnahu la yaghfiru adhdhunuba illa ant.

O Allah! You are my Lord! None has the right to be worshipped but You. You created me and I am Your slave, and I am faithful to my covenant and my promise as much as I can. I seek refuge with You from all the evil I have done. I acknowledge before You all the blessings You have bestowed upon me, and I confess to You all my sins. So I entreat You to forgive my sins, for nobody can forgive sins except You. (Bukhari)

And of course, the most intimate way of feeling close to Allah is to come to Him, from the depths of one’s heart, in the language easiest for oneself, with the words coming from one’s own soul, asking for His forgiveness.

Reflect

I want you to go back to your original answer when I first posed the question. What would you be thinking of someone you see doing something you feel is wrong?

Yes, in that moment, that person might be outwardly sinning if that is what they are doing, but perhaps internally they are struggling and fighting every time they commit the sin, and are continually seeking to turn back to God. Perhaps in some people’s eyes, this person is a ‘sinner’ (and who amongst us is not?). But perhaps in the Sight of Allah, they are more beloved to Him because of their sincere struggle, than those of us who can easily fall into feeling arrogant about our Islamic activism, our Islamic appearance, or our ‘hard-core’ connection with Rabb il`alameen  (the Lord of the Worlds). We need to be careful. Are we really connected? Am I really connected?

And don’t get me wrong: the struggle of those who are trying to stay upright and please God Almighty is a weighty, honorable and noble one.

But for those of us who might have ‘been there’ and left it, and then feel arrogant that we’re no longer involved in the “ways of the sinners,” and perhaps even might feel better than others because we’re so pure and special, then my advice to myself is what Omar  radi allahu `anhu (may God be pleased with him) advised, “Take account of yourselves before you are audited.”

Or in the words of Ice Cube, “Check yourself before you wreck yourself.”

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (peace be upon him) said, “Allah made the early hours blessed for my Ummah.”

— Ahmed

I was once a morning person.

Every day at a time when the rest of the world were a few hours into their sleep, I would wake up and get up from bed within a few seconds. I would then make wudhu before returning to my room to pray the night prayer and read Qur’an. There would usually be a considerable amount of time before Fajr so you would find me doing my homework/revising/reading until Fajr. Sleep was nowhere near as exciting as these moments and a little nap before I had to get ready for school was more than sufficient.

I understood everything I studied and with time I started to build a relationship with the Qur’an where I would not be able to leave it. My concentration and focus were on point in everything that I did and I enjoyed an immense vigour and energy in learning that I have not felt since.

Regrettably, it is something I have lost gradually over the past few years and I crave its return more than anything. Therefore, having previously experienced the barakah (blessings) of the mornings, I can truly say that success does lie in the mornings, and I pray that Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala (exalted is He) allows myself and others to seize this remarkable treasure of time from now onwards.

“Whoever prays the Fajr prayer, he or she is then under Allah’s protection. So beware, O son or daughter of Adam, that Allah does not call you to account for being absent from His protection for any reason.”

— Muslim

No wonder there is something very special about this time in the morning. To be under the guard of The One who created us and the very world we live in is indeed an extraordinary endowment. Imagine having the protection of the most powerful being that has ever existed for the rest of the day, every day. Is it not worth winning the battle of the bed for this?

Some of the greatest people in history seized these very hours, which is why they managed to achieve exponentially more than we are able to using the same 24 hours in each day. This portion of time is what allows us to train ourselves, prepare our minds, our hearts, our characters ready to take on the rest of the world and the rest of the day. It is a time were we reconnect with our mission and our purpose. We meet with God to begin our days and we are no longer lost like the man without a mission, wandering aimlessly throughout the day.

It is prime time. Contrary to popular belief it is a time where we possess our highest levels of focus, willpower and energy; we unlock these treasures only when we know how to seize this gift from Allah (swt), and what a gift it is. What better way is there to start our days than by meeting with God? What better way is there than by receiving His Protection? Fajr sets the tone for the day. The word itself means dawn in Arabic and is derived from the root word infijar, to ’burst forth’. This denotes the sunlight erupting into the darkness of the night at that time of morning,illuminating the world, replacing darkness with light, clarity and vitality. Likewise, this time of day replaces the darkness in our hearts with light, clarity, and vitality.

And you know what is really amazing about this gift?

It is offered to us every single day.

Every single day we are being given the chance to change our spiritual architecture for the better. We can start each day equipped with a psychological edge and incredible mental confidence that carries through for the next 24 hours. It’s like a kaleidoscope. This barakah from Allah (swt) is like a kaleidoscope, a chain reaction. Once we are able to overcome the struggle within ourselves in the morning, it then opens more and more doors to success. Once seizing the morning becomes hardwired into our minds, it then becomes easier to incorporate other facets of discipline into our lives.

And that is how Allah (swt) guides the believers. We walk towards Him and He runs towards us. He gives and gives and gives.

The question is, will we take it?

We have awoken, and all of creation has awoken, for Allah, Lord of all the Worlds. Allah, I ask You for the best the day has to offer, victory, support, light, blessings and guidance; and I seek refuge in You from the evil in it, and the evil to come after it. Ameen.

To the limbs that are busy,

As you pick up your Qur’an in order to begin reciting, you are bombarded with a barrage of WhatsApp messages. Your job needs urgent work done now; your babysitter cancelled, meaning you cannot attend taraweeh (Ramadan night prayers) at the mosque tonight; your mom needs help with making iftar (the meal of breaking fast).

You put your Qur’an down. There is always something keeping you away.

Ramadan might be the month of the Qur’an, but to you, it is a month like any other – with the added abstention from food and drink. It might be that you have to take care of your family, and so have no time to do those things that make Ramadan so special to other people. It could be that you have work, and so cannot focus on connecting to His book. Or it could just be that your mind is distracted because of your studies and essays, and so even when you do manage to pray the night prayers, you are thinking about the paper that you have to submit.

It is frustrating. And this makes us want to give up on Ramadan altogether – barely any taraweeh, Qur’an or any of those things that make Ramadan so special. Could you be the person described in the hadith (tradition) of the Prophet ﷺ:

“Many people who fast get nothing from their fast except hunger and thirst, and many people who pray at night get nothing from it except wakefulness” (Darimi).

If we think that our Ramadan does not matter because we cannot do all that we hoped for, or all that other people are doing, we have misunderstood God Himself. That hadith refers to people who do not even attempt to rectify their bad actions or do extra good.

God is so Generous that He rewards you for your intention. If you had big hopes in Ramadan but things got in the way, you are still rewarded for your sincere intentions. The Prophet ﷺ taught us that:

“Whosoever intended to perform a good deed, but did not do it, then Allah writes it down with Himself as a complete good deed. And if he intended to perform it and did perform it, then Allah writes it down with Himself as from ten good deeds up to seven hundred fold, up to many times multiplied. ” (Bukhari)

This hadith applies outside of Ramadan, and we know everything is magnified in Ramadan, so imagine the appreciation and reward by God for your sincere intention.
Moreover, those few deeds that you do matter. The fact that you made the effort to read Qur’an for ten minutes before you were called to do something else is great in the Eyes of Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He). We are told in countless sayings of the Prophet ﷺ that a person might give something little and be rewarded more than a person who gave a lot, simply because of the effort put in and the intention. God cares about the quality of your deed, not simply the quantity.

Also remember that tending to your responsibilities can be regarded as worship when your intention is in the right place. If you cannot change your actions, then change your intention. If you have work deadlines that prevent you from praying the night prayers, then make your intention the fulfillment of your responsibilities and of practicing ihsan (excellence), which we are commanded to do. The Prophet ﷺ said, “Verily, Allah loves that when anyone of you does a job he should perfect it” (Bayhaqi). So when you work hard at your job trying to excel for the sake of God, that is something that Allah (swt) loves. If your children keep you away from reciting Qur’an, then intend that you are raising your children for Him, like the mother of Mary `alayhaa as-salaam (peace be upon her) when she said: “My Lord, indeed I have pledged to You what is in my womb, consecrated [for Your service], so accept this from me. Indeed, You are the Hearing, the Knowing.” (Qur’an, 3:35) What was God’s response to her when she gave birth to Mary (as)?

“So her Lord accepted her with good acceptance and caused her to grow in a good manner…” (Qur’an, 3:37)

And Mary (as) went on to be an example for all those believe (Qur’an, 66:11-12).

So your intention can magnify all of your deeds. It matters to Allah (swt).

Remember to make Ramadan beneficial for you. It could be that you listen to a tafseer (explanation of Qur’an) podcast on your way to work, or read the Qur’an with translation when your kids are having a nap, or even steal some moments to make a sincere du`a’ (supplication) when you have a five minute break from your studies. Make this your Ramadan of charity, if you are able, and give more because you are busy. Use the time to work on your character. And be concerned about the quality of your deeds, not the quantity.

The best thing that you can do is talk to Allah (swt). Tell Him all of your intentions and how you were not able to fulfill them. Talk to God about your hopes and fears. Remember that He hears every word, even when it remains un-uttered in your heart.

All of that will be counted for you. And even if Ramadan is not all you hoped it would be, God the Generous will bless you more than you could have hoped, inshaAllah (God willing).

Sincerely,

Limbs that are busy

(and still trying)

A Letter to the Heart that is Numb

To the heart that is numb,

Standing in taraweeh (Ramadan night prayers) while everyone is weeping – except you. Your friends talk about how exhilarating fasting is for them – but all you feel is irritation; and that is if you feel anything at all. Your du`as (supplications) are just words you repeat – without heart.

What is the point of all of it? Your actions are robotic. Monotone. Without soul.

You wish you could be like that person praying next to you in taraweeh who sobs during every prostration. You want to be the one passionately pleading with Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He) with humility. Your hope is that you can be that person whose heart is broken before God.
You know what, though? You, too, are special to Allah (swt).

You who recites the Qur’an because you know it is good.

You who prays because Allah (swt) commanded you to.

You who attends lectures on Islam because you want to feel closer to Him.

The Prophet ﷺ told us that the person who recites the Qur’an and struggles with the recitation receives twice the reward: for their recitation and for their effort and struggle. Ibn Al-Qayyim used this hadith (tradition of the Prophet ﷺ) as the basis for his statement that the person who struggles to be devoted in prayer gets twice the reward: for the parts that he was devoted, and for his struggle to stay focused.

As long as you are trying, Allah (swt) is with you.

The fact that you get up to pray qiyaam (night prayer) even though you feel nothing is appreciated by Allah (swt). When you mouth the words to your du`a even when your heart is numb, Allah (swt) knows how you feel. And you are rewarded for that. Do not think that this will go to waste.

Allah (swt) gets it.
Because you are not worshiping a feeling. You do not bow down solely for that ‘high’. You prostrate only to the Lord of the feelings and the One who is the Most High. You submit to Him – through your prayers, fasting and supplication – because you know you have a Merciful, Just, Appreciative, Forgiving God, Who has the power to give life to everything that is dead.

Including your heart.

You know you have a Nurturing, Patient, Generous, Subtle and Kind Lord who is can bring back whatever is lost.

He can bring you back.

So to the heart that is numb: Do not give up just yet. Your heart is on a journey. You are first and foremost worshiping your Lord. And He has promised you:
“And those who strive for Us – We will surely guide them to Our ways. And indeed, Allah is with the doers of good.” (Qur’an, 29:69)

As long as you are doing good, Allah (swt) will guide you and He is with you. Do you know what that means?

Imam Ash-Shawkani stated that Allah (swt) being with someone means more care, honoring and preference for the person.

And you what else? Allah loves what you do. He tells us:

“Indeed, those who have believed and done righteous deeds – the Most Merciful will appoint for them affection.” (Qur’an, 19:96)

Allah will not only love you, but He will show that love for you. He will bestow His affection upon you, and your heart will feel it.

So keep trekking. Your heart will open – He is, after all, al-Fattah. Al-Fattah is He who opens whatever is closed; your heart included. You might wonder when and how, but just know that it will happen. It could be on the last night of Ramadan or it could be a month after Ramadan – your heart will open, God willing. The daily exercise you do might not look like much, but you will inevitably see the results if you persevere. Similarly, your good actions slowly chip away at what has been hardening your heart and, eventually, you will feel.

And if it gets too much, just talk to Allah (swt). Tell Him how you feel, and tell Him how you want to feel. Do it every night, and every time you feel empty. God is there; never underestimate your turning to Him. ‘Turning to Him’ does not just mean prayers and supplications; you can just tell Him what is in your heart.

On the Day of Judgment, you will be grateful for your perseverance and your hope in Him, because it will matter more than you will ever know. So push yourself and exert all the effort you can muster. The tiniest ray of light can brighten the darkest of places.

Love,

A fellow heart that is* numb

(*was)