Originally Posted on August 26th, 2011

By Shaykh Muhammad Jebril | Translated by Shazia Ahmad

Many of us spend a good portion of our Ramadan nights with our hands raised in du`a’ (supplication), listening to the heart-felt words of our imam or shaykh calling on Allah in the witr prayer.  For those of us who don’t speak Arabic, it is a time when we often long to understand the meaning of the words being said with such evident intensity and feeling.  It is for this reason that we would like to present a beautiful du`a’ of Shaykh Muhammad Jebril of Cairo, Egypt – said at the completion of his recitation of the Qur’an in Ramadan ((This du`a’ was performed at Masjid Amr ibn al-‘Aas in Cairo, Egypt in Ramadan 1410/1990. Original audio can be found on the shaykh’s official website:  http://www.jebril.com.)) – accompanied by an English translation.

Please remember us in your du`a’s as Ramadan draws to a close.  May Allah help us make the most of these last few precious days and nights of this blessed month.  Ameen.

Audio: Download (Duration: 34:55 — 4.3 MB)

Translation | PDF Version | Doc Version

Indeed, Allah speaks the truth. Indeed Allah speaks the truth, the One who is unique in His majesty by the perfection of His beauty, glorified and exalted.

He who sent down the clear Criterion (the Qur’an) to His servant ﷺ (peace be upon him) in order to make him a warner to the worlds; He who sent His noble messenger to the two mighty races of jinn and mankind to give glad tidings and to warn; and we are to this (truth) from among those who bear witness.

O Allah, guide us along with those whom You have guided aright; and grant us well-being along with those whom You have granted well-being; and protect us with those whom You have protected. Bless for us all that You have given us; and save us and keep away from us any evil that You have decreed. O Allah, save us and keep away from us any evil that You have decreed. O Allah, save us and keep away from us any evil that You have decreed, for verily You decree in truth, and none can decree over You. And none is abased whom You befriend, and none is honored whom You oppose. Blessed are You, our Lord, Exalted. To You, O Allah, all praise is due for what You have decreed, and to You, O Allah, is due all thanks for Your blessings and bounty. We seek forgiveness from (You) Allah, and we repent to You. We seek forgiveness from Allah, and we repent to You.

We seek forgiveness from You, O Allah, for every sin and every misstep (we have taken), and we turn to You in repentance. We believe in You and rely on You. You are the Rich, the Self-Sufficient and Free of Needs (al-Ghaniyy), and we are poor and bereft before You. You are the Strong (al-Qawiyy), and we are weak and vulnerable before You.

You are the Rich (al-Ghaniyy), and we are poor and bereft before You.  You are the Strong (al-Qawiyy), and we are weak and vulnerable before You.

You are the Rich (al-Ghaniyy), and we are poor and bereft before You.  You are the Strong (al-Qawiyy), and we are weak and vulnerable before You.

O Allah – You who connects with those who are cut off (from hope) – connect us to You.

O Allah, gift us with righteous action from You that will bring us closer to You.

O Allah, conceal (our faults) and protect us while we are on Earth, and when we are beneath the Earth, and on the Day when our deeds are presented to You.  [Repeated three times]

O Allah, beautify our standing before You.

O Allah, do not disappoint us on the Day we are presented before You to be judged. [Repeated three times]

O Allah, accept our prayers, our fasting, our standing in worship, our bowing and our prostration.

O Allah, accept our prayers.  O Allah, accept our fasting.  O Allah, accept our standing in worship.  O Allah, accept our bowing.  O Allah, accept our prostration. [Repeated three times]

O Allah, make us among those who are freed from the Fire this Ramadan. [Repeated three times]

O Allah, save us from the Fire. O Allah, save us from the Fire. O Allah, save us from the Fire. O Allah, protect us from the shame and disgrace of the Fire. O Allah, protect us from any deed that draws us closer to the Fire. O Allah, enter us into Paradise with the righteous, by Your mercy, O You Who is Most Noble (al-`Azeez), Oft-Forgiving (al-Ghaffar).

O Allah, make us, our Lord, in this month of ours, on this day of ours, on this very night, from those who are freed from the Fire, and make us from those who are accepted by You, the successful.

… By Your mercy, O Most Merciful of those who show mercy…

By Your mercy, O Most Merciful of those who show mercy…

By Your mercy, O Allah…

O Master and King (al-Malik), O Allah… O You Who is Sanctified and Pure (al-Quddus), O Allah… O Source and Giver of Peace (as-Salaam), O Allah… O Inspirer of Faith (al-Mu’min), O Allah… O Guardian of All Things (al-Muhaymin), O Allah… O Honorable and Mighty (al-`Azeez), O Allah…O You Who Compels His Servants and Mends the Broken (al-Jabbar), O Allah… O Grand and Majestic (al-Mutakabbir), O Allah… O Creator of All (al-Khaliq), O Allah… O Creator of All, O Allah…

O Maker of Order (al-Baari’), O Allah… O Shaper of Forms (al-Musawwir), O Allah… O Oft-Forgiving (al-Ghaffar), O Allah… O You Who Subdues His Servants (al-Qahhar), O Allah… O Giver of All (al-Wahhab), O Allah… O Sustainer (ar-Razzaq), O Allah… O Opener (al-Fattah), O Allah…

O All-Knowing One (al-`Aleem), O Allah… O You Who Restricts (al-Qaabidh), O Allah… O You Who Expands and Relieves (al-Baasit), O Allah… O You Who Abases (al-Khaafidh), O Allah… O You Who Exalts (ar-Raafi`), O Allah… O Bestower of Honor (al-Mu`izz), O Allah… O You Who Lowers (al-Mudhill), O Allah… O You Who Hears All (as-Sami`), O Allah… O You Who Sees All (al-Baseer), O Allah…

O You Who is the Absolute Judge (al-Hakam), O Allah… O You Who is Absolutely Just (al-‘Adl), O Allah… O Gentle and Subtly Kind (al-Lateef), O Allah… O All-Aware (al-Khabeer), O Allah… O Most Forbearing (al-Haleem), O Allah… O Magnificent (al-`Adheem), O Allah…

O You Who Forgives and Conceals (al-Ghafur), O Allah…  O You Who Appreciates and Rewards Thankfulness (al-Shakur), O Allah… O Knower of All Things (al-‘Aleem), O Allah… O Great One (al-Kabeer), O Allah… O Preserver (al-Hafeedh), O Allah… O Nourisher of All Things (al-Muqeet), O Allah… O You Who Calls to Account (al-Haseeb) O Allah…

O Mighty and Majestic (al-Jaleel), O Allah… O Most Generous (al-Kareem), O Allah… O Most Generous, O Allah… O Ever-Watchful (al-Raqeeb), O Allah… O You Who Responds and Answers (al- Mujeeb), O Allah…

O Vast and Omnipotent One (al-Wasi`), O Allah… O Glorious One (al-Majeed), O Allah… O You Who Perceives and Finds (al-Waajid), O Allah… O Unique One (al-Waahid), O Allah… O You Who is Self-Sufficient and Free of Want (as-Samad), O Allah… O You Who is Capable and Strong (al-Qadir), O Allah…

O Creator of All Power (al-Muqtadir), O Allah…  O You Who Brings Forward (al-Muqaddim), O Allah… O You Who Delays (al-Mu’akhir), O Allah… O You Who is the First (al-Awwal), O Allah… O You Who is the First, O Allah… O You Who is the Last (al-Aakhir), O Allah… O You Who is Manifest (adh-Dhahir), O Allah… O You Who is Hidden (al-Batin), O Allah… O Close Protecting Guardian (al-Waaliy), O Allah… O Most High (al-Muta`aliy), O Allah… O Living, Eternal One (al-Hayy), O Allah… O Self-Subsisting One (al-Qayyum), O Allah… O Self-Subsisting One, O Allah… O Nourisher (al-Muqeet), O Allah… O You Who Gives Death (al-Mumeet), O Allah…

O Most Gentle and Gracious Bestower (al-Barr), O Allah… O Ever-Relenting One (at-Tawwab), O Allah… O Avenger (al-Muntaqim), O Allah… O Avenger, O Allah… O You Who Pardons (al-`Affuw), O Allah… O Most Kind (ar-Ra’uf), O Allah… O Most Kind, O Allah…

O Owner of All Sovereignty (Maliku’l Mulk), Lord of Majesty and Honor (Dhu’l Jalali wa’likram), O Allah… O Just and Equitable One (al-Muqsit), O Allah… O Gatherer (al-Jaami`), O Allah… O You Who is Rich and Free of Needs (al-Ghaniy), O Allah… O Enricher (al-Mughni), O Allah… O Witholder (al-Mani`), O Allah… O Distressor (ad-Daar), O Allah… O Guide (al-Haadi), O Allah… O Light (of the heavens and the Earth) (al-Nur), O Allah…

O Originator of All Things (al-Badi`), O Allah… O Infinite and Everlasting (al-Baaqi), O Allah… O Inheritor of All (al-Waarith), O Allah… O Guide to the Right Path (ar-Rasheed), O Allah… O Most Patient (as-Sabur), O Allah…

O Allah… O Allah… O Allah…

O You Whom there is nothing like – the Hearing (al-Sami`), the Seeing (al-Baseer), O Allah.

O You who are the best of protectors and the best of those who give help. Glory be to You. We cannot account for the praises that are due to You; You are as You praise Yourself. Sublime is Your Countenance; Exalted is Your position. You do as You will by Your Power and Ability, and You decree as You want by Your Honor. O Living, Self-Subsisting One (al-Hayy al-Qayum); Originator of the heavens and the Earth; Possessor of Majesty and Honor (Dhu’l-Jalali wa’l-Ikram).

O Allah, beautify us with the beauty of the Qur’an. O Allah, enter us into Paradise by the intercession of the Qur’an. O Allah, ennoble us by the nobility of the Qur’an. O Allah, dress us with the honorable mantle (khil`ah) of the Qur’an. O Allah, dress us with the honorable mantle of the Qur’an. O Allah, honor us with the honor of the Qur’an.

O Allah, have mercy on the entire community of Muhammad ﷺ, by the sanctity of the Qur’an, O Most Merciful (al-Raheem), Loving One (al-Rahman).

O Allah, guide us and lead us to the truth and to the straight path, by the blessings of the magnificent Qur’an; and by the sanctity of the one You have sent as a mercy to all the worlds ﷺ. And forgive us, O Most Generous (al-Kareem), and grant us well being, O Most Merciful (al-Raheem).

O Allah, make the Qu’ran the blossoming spring of our hearts, and the light of our chests, and the dispeller of our sadness and grief. O Allah, make the Qur’an a proof for us, and not a proof against us.

O Allah, make us those who read the Qur’an and become elevated… and do not make us those who read it and become wretched and humiliated.

O Allah, bestow on us, by every letter of the Qur’an (that we have read) a sweetness, and by every word (from its pages) magnanimity and generosity, and by every verse happiness and joy, and by every chapter peace and security, and by every section reward.

O Allah, bless us with contentment, and make beloved to us prayer in congregation, and help us to remember death, Our Lord, in every moment (of our lives).

O Allah… Resurrect us, Our Lord, with the Prophet ﷺ, the Chosen (al-Mustafa), the one to whom you have granted the right of intercession.

O Allah, we seek refuge in You from knowledge that does not benefit; and from a heart that is not humbled in devotion to You; and from an eye that does not weep (out of love and awe of You); from an eye that does not weep; from an eye that does not weep; and from an ego that is never satisfied; and from a supplication that is not heard.

O Allah, we seek refuge in You from knowledge that does not benefit; and from a heart that is not humbled in devotion to You; and from an eye that does not weep (out of love and awe of You); and from an ego that is never satisfied; and from a supplication that is not heard.

O Allah, we seek refuge in You from knowledge that does not benefit; and from action that is not elevated (to the heavens and accepted); and from an eye that does not weep (out of love and awe of You); and from an ego that is never satisfied; and from a supplication that is not heard.

O Allah, we ask you for knowledge that benefits; and for a heart that is humbled in devotion to You; and for a tongue busy with remembering You and expressing gratitude to You; and for actions that are righteous and accepted by You; and for a certainty (in You) that is genuine and true.

O Allah, we seek refuge in You from death and its agonies; and the grave and its distress; and the Sirat and its perils; and the Day of Rising and its terrors. [Repeated three times]

O Allah, make us fearful and conscious of You as if we see You; and grant us happiness through reverence of You (taqwa); and grant us the pleasure of seeing You (in Paradise); and gather us in the company of Your Prophet and Chosen One ﷺ (al-Mustafa). [Repeated three times]

O Allah, grant victory to Islam and honor the Muslims. O Allah raise high, with Your Grace, the two words of truth and religion.  O Allah, destroy the disbelievers who show hostile enmity to You and Your religion.

O Allah, bring the Muslims back to Your religion in a beautiful return (in repentance). [Repeated three times]

O Allah, grant success and victory to those striving in Your cause, wherever they may be. [Repeated three times]

O Allah, grant us success and victory over (the weaknesses of) of our own selves. [Repeated three times]

O Allah, respond to our du`a’, and heal our sick, and have mercy on our dead, and defeat our enemies. Do not disappoint us in our hope (in You); and let the last of our deeds be the best of them.

O Allah, fulfill from our hopes whichever please You; grant authority over our affairs to those who are the best of us, and not to those who are the worst of us.

O Allah, lift Your displeasure and anger from us. O Allah, lift Your displeasure and anger from us. O Allah, lift Your displeasure and anger from us, and do not call us to account for what we have done; and do not hold us accountable for what the foolish among us do; and do not place upon us, due to our sins, an authority who does not fear or revere You and who will not have mercy on us.

O Allah, purify our hearts; divest us of our faults; relieve our worries and troubles; protect us in the best way; and gather for us the best of the hereafter and the best of this life.

O Allah, rectify our condition. O Allah, join together and unite our hearts.

O Allah, allow our end to be concluded with righteous deeds.

O Allah, encompass us in the vastness of Your mercy.

O Allah, avert the harms and evils that concern and trouble us.

O Allah, allow us to pass away with sound faith, (faithful to) the Book and the Sunnah, and in a state in which You are pleased with us, O You Who is the Most Generous (al-Kareem).

O Allah, allow the Qur’an to be our close companion in this life; and in our graves a comforting friend; and a light on the Sirat; and an intercession at the time of resurrection; and our companion in Paradise; and make it a protection and barricade between us and the Hellfire; and a guide and leader to all good works, by Your Grace, O Most Generous of those who show generosity.

O Allah, distance us from our mistakes as You have distanced the East from the West. O Allah, purge our sins from us the way a white cloth is purified from filth; O Allah cleanse us from our sins with the (purity of) water, snow, and hail.

O Allah, You are the Forgiving (al-`Affuw), and You love to forgive, so please forgive us.  O Allah, You are the Forgiving (al-`Affuw), and You love to forgive, so please forgive us. O Allah, You are the Forgiving (al-`Affuw), the Generous (al-Kareem), the Forbearing (al-Haleem), the Great (al-`Adheem), and You love to forgive, so please forgive us.

O Allah, grant us well being and safety; pardon us; accept our deeds; accept us; accept our repentance, and excuse us, by Your loving Grace, O Most Merciful of those who show mercy.

Our Lord, accept from us (our deeds), You are the All-Hearing (as-Sami`), the All-Knowing (al-`Aleem).  Accept our repentance, Our Lord, You are the Oft-relenting (at-Tawwab), The Merciful (ar-Raheem). Forgive us and have mercy upon us, Our Lord, You are the Forgiving (al-Ghafur), the Merciful (ar-Raheem). Save us from sorrow and worry and the greatest distress (of punishment in the Hereafter). Save us from sorrow and worry and the greatest distress (of punishment in the Hereafter).

O Allah, bestow on us the gift of seeing Your Noble Countenance. [Repeated three times]

O Allah, make us from among those who have running beneath them the rivers of Paradise… “Their prayer therein will be, “Glory be to You, O Allah”; and their greeting (to one another) therein is, “Peace.”  And the conclusion of their prayer will be, “Praise be to Allah, the Cherisher and Sustainer of the worlds.” (Qur’an, 10:10)

“Our Lord, condemn us not if we forget or fall into error.  Our Lord, lay not on us a burden like that which you laid on those before us.  Our Lord, lay not on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear.  Pardon us, and grant us forgiveness, and have mercy on us.  You are our Protector.  Help us against those who stand against faith.” (Qur’an, 2:286)

“Our Lord, let not our hearts deviate after You have guided us, and grant us mercy from You; for You art the Grantor of bounties without measure. Our Lord, surely it is You Who will gather mankind together on the Day about which there is no doubt, for verily, Allah never fails in His promise.” (Qur’an, 3:8-9)

“Our Lord, forgive us our sins and anything we may have done that transgressed our duty.  Establish our feet firmly, and help us against those that resist Faith.” (Qur’an, 3:147)

“Our Lord, indeed whoever You admit to the Fire – You have disgraced him, and for the unjust wrongdoers there are no helpers.  Our Lord, indeed we have heard a caller calling to faith, [saying], ‘Believe in your Lord,’ and we have believed. Our Lord, so forgive us our sins and remove from us our misdeeds and cause us to die with the righteous.  Our Lord, and grant us what You promised us through Your messengers and do not disgrace us on the Day of Resurrection. Indeed, You do not fail in [Your] promise.” (Qur’an, 3:192-194)

“In Allah do we put out trust. Our Lord, make us not a trial for those who practice oppression; and save us, by Your mercy, from those who reject You.”  (Qur’an, 10:8-9)

“Our Lord, In You (Alone) we put our trust, and to You (Alone) we turn in repentance, and to You (Alone) is (our) final return.  Our Lord, make us not a test and a trial for the disbelievers, but forgive us, our Lord, for You are the Exalted in might, the Wise.” (Qur’an, 60:4-5)

“Our Lord, forgive us and our brethren who came before us into the faith, and leave not, in our hearts, ill feeling against those who have believed.  Our Lord, You are indeed full of kindness, most merciful.” (Qur’an, 59:10)

O Allah, to You we lovingly submit; and in You we believe; and upon You do we rely. To You we turn (in repentance), and by You we argue (and advocate). Forgive us for what we have sent forth (in deeds) and for what we have held back; for what we have made known, and for what we have hidden; and for (our deeds) which You have more knowledge of than we ourselves.

O Allah, be compassionate with us, for You are the One who shows us mercy. Do not punish us for our sins, for You are the Powerful over us. Be gracious and kind to us, Our Lord, for what has come to pass in our time and place; and (we ask You, O Allah) to conclude our lives for us with a beautiful and joyful ending. 

“Exalted is Your Lord, the Lord of Might and Honor, above what they describe; and peace be on the messengers (of God); and all praise is due to Allah, the Lord and Cherisher of the worlds.” (Qur’an, 37:180-182)

Send peace and blessings, O Allah, on our master Muhammad, and upon his blessed family and noble companions.  Ameen.

How to Achieve Tranquility of the Heart Series

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII | Part IX | Part X | Part XI | Part XII | Part XIII | Part XIV | Part XV | Part XVI | Part XVII | Part XVIII | Part XIX | Part XX

Sometimes it feels like it’s just too much – these fluctuations in our iman, the repeated sinning, the feeling that “I just don’t deserve Allah’s mercy.” The tests always feel like punishments. There is a constant worry about the future: my marriage, my money, my career, my ummah (community)… And some difficulties just feel like they are too great to overcome. We know we’re not supposed to ask this, but the question at the back of our minds is, “Why me?”

We have all heard that we should never despair of Allah’s Mercy. And on the surface, we try not to, but Shaytaan (the Devil) has a trick. We tend to despair of ourselves and our incapacity to change things, especially the inner turmoil that we feel. And the effect of this is basically the same as despairing of Allah’s mercy. We do not always accept that Allah can take us out of the situation we are in and we don’t need to ‘deserve’ the trouble; Allah isn’t punishing us and we don’t need to be perfect.

This doesn’t mean, however, that we shouldn’t strive, or take ourselves to account when we do mess up. The key is to develop our relationship with Allah during that trouble. If we know Allah, no situation is too hopeless. No sadness is ever permanent. We perceive trials as they are meant to be perceived – as tests of our trust in Allah, forcing us to put our knowledge into practice and bringing us closer to Him. These trials could potentially be a punishment too, that is if we let it affect us negatively by completely turning away from Him because of our sadness. But our awareness of our own state and our understanding of Allah’s Mercy allows us to turn the punishment into something positive that is manifested through repentance to Allah, alongside increasing in hasanat (good deeds) in order to erase the bad deeds.

The first exercise is for us to consciously realize that Allah knows. Whatever grief we go through, whatever hardship we endure, we must understand that we are never alone. Even if we feel abandoned by the world and those closest to us, Allah is there. He reminds us in the Qur’an,

“Fear not. Indeed, I am with you [both]; I hear and I see.” (20:46)

As long as we begin by recognizing that Allah is with us and He is close to us, there remains a solution to our inner worries. There are things we need to know in order to develop our relationship with Allah. Then there are things we need to do in order to maintain that closeness to Allah. And finally, there are things we need to aspire for to achieve the ideal relationship with our Lord. We pray that by the end of the series, we will all have developed a stronger relationship with Allah.

Note: some of us suffer from clinical depression or similar medical conditions, and this needs to be dealt with by a professional. Working on our relationship with Allah no doubt helps, but sometimes more than a spiritual fix may be needed.

Allah subhanahu wa ta`la (exalted is He) has given Himself Names and attributes (siffat) so that we can know Him. What is most amazing and beautiful about Allah’s Names is that through them, you can see how your Creator recognizes the needs of His creation.

We all need sustenance; and He is al-Razzaaq, The Provider. We all need love; and He is al-Wadud, The Most Loving. We all need protection; and Allah is al-Hafidh, The Guardian. What we need the most is the very thing of which Allah (swt) has an unlimited supply.

And so sometimes we are put through things to know Allah (swt). Sometimes it is to open your eyes to your own flaws so that you can change. But whatever it is, if you realize that the answer to any problem is through Him, and that He suffices all your needs, then your relief is already at hand.

Recently, I found myself to be very lost. And this was alarming because I used to be a person who had direction. I thought I knew where I was going and what I was doing. But things started to fall apart, internally. I wasn’t sure anymore. And then I realized I had three choices – to continue to do what I was doing without putting in any extra thought, to give up entirely, or to re-assess and re-orient.

And because this feeling persisted for a while, I realized something else. I came to know Allah’s attribute of Guidance.

Sometimes this feeling of being lost can bring us closer to Allah (swt).

What is the meaning of this problem? Why are we stuck? We need to feel as though we do not know where we are going, because that is when we start searching. And that is precisely when Allah (swt) shows you that He is The Guide (al-Haadi), and how life changes when the Light of God is in it.

Perhaps you started out something with a sense of purpose, but in your journey you were knocked off the path towards the greater goal. You need al-Haadi. Maybe you are having some sort of mid-life crisis. You need al-Haadi. And we cannot for one moment believe that there is no way out and no right path. Allah (swt) says in a hadith qudsi (record of the words of the Prophet ﷺ, peace be upon him),

“O My servants, all of you are astray except for those I have guided, so seek guidance of Me and I shall guide you,” (Muslim).

As Allah (swt) gave Himself the attributes of Guidance and Light, how can we ever believe that we will be in darkness for too long?

Say, for example, you are drowning in a pool. Who will you usually call out for? The lifeguard. The lifeguard is already there, watching out for people, and because that is his job, when you call out to him he’ll jump in there to save you. Now Allah (swt) is over and above any analogy, but as Allah (swt) gave Himself the attribute of guidance, telling you that He is THE Guide and He is THE Light of the heavens and the earth, then how can you be lost for too long? Especially if you seek Him. Are we saying that lifeguards do their job better than Allah (swt)?

So what does it mean to go to Allah al-Haadi? It means to take the first step of realizing that He has this attribute, and having the certainty that Allah (swt) will not turn a seeker away. Secondly, it means to ask Him. Make du`a’ (supplication), pray istikhara (the prayer for guidance) and talk to Him. Thirdly, it means to use the means around us. Re-assess your goals, seek people’s advice and take the steps needed to try to find an answer. When we feel an internal instability, these steps may be hard, but Allah (swt) tells us “And those who strive for Us – We will surely guide them to Our ways […]” (Qur’an, 29:69).

And so we have to strive. We have to search. It will be hard. And there will be moments of confusion. But the Prophet ﷺ taught us: “Know that victory comes with patience, relief with affliction, and ease with hardship,” (Tirmidhi).

One final action is that we cannot let Shaytan (the devil) make us lose hope and make us keep questioning ourselves. There is a point when confusion becomes wiswaas (whispers) – a sort of paranoia from the Devil. Only when we realize that Allah (swt) is the ultimate Guide and we are seeking Him in the proper way, will we gain full trust in Him and know that He will not allow us to be led astray.

“So those who believe in Allah and hold fast to Him – He will admit them to mercy from Himself and bounty and guide them to Himself on a straight path.” (Qur’an, 4:175)

Why Do People Have to Leave Each Other? Part I | Part II

When I was 17 years old, I had a dream. I dreamt that I was sitting inside a masjid and a little girl walked up to ask me a question. She asked me: “Why do people have to leave each other?” The question was a personal one, but it seemed clear to me why the question was chosen for me.

I was one to get attached.

Ever since I was a child, this temperament was clear. While other children in preschool could easily recover once their parents left, I could not. My tears, once set in motion, did not stop easily. As I grew up, I learned to become attached to everything around me. From the time I was in first grade, I needed a best friend. As I got older, any fall-out with a friend shattered me. I couldn’t let go of anything. People, places, events, photographs, moments—even outcomes became objects of strong attachment. If things didn’t work out the way I wanted or imagined they should, I was devastated. And disappointment for me wasn’t an ordinary emotion. It was catastrophic. Once let down, I never fully recovered. I could never forget, and the break never mended. Like a glass vase that you place on the edge of a table, once broken, the pieces never quite fit again.

But the problem wasn’t with the vase. Or even that the vases kept breaking. The problem was that I kept putting them on the edge of tables. Through my attachments, I was dependent on my relationships to fulfill my needs. I allowed those relationships to define my happiness or my sadness, my fulfillment or my emptiness, my security, and even my self-worth. And so, like the vase placed where it will inevitably fall, through those dependencies I set myself up for disappointment. I set myself up to be broken. And that’s exactly what I found: one disappointment, one break after another.

But the people who broke me were not to blame any more than gravity can be blamed for breaking the vase. We can’t blame the laws of physics when a twig snaps because we leaned on it for support. The twig was never created to carry us.

Our weight was only meant to be carried by God. We are told in the Quran: “…whoever rejects evil and believes in God hath grasped the most trustworthy hand-hold, that never breaks. And God hears and knows all things.” (Qur’an 2: 256)

There is a crucial lesson in this verse: that there is only one handhold that never breaks. There is only one place where we can lay our dependencies. There is only one relationship that should define our self-worth and only one source from which to seek our ultimate happiness, fulfillment, and security. That place is God.

But this world is all about seeking those things everywhere else. Some of us seek it in our careers, some seek it in wealth, some in status. Some, like me, seek it in our relationships. In her book, Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert describes her own quest for happiness. She describes moving in and out of relationships, and even traveling the globe in search of this fulfillment. She seeks that fulfillment—unsuccessfully—in her relationships, in meditation, even in food.

And that’s exactly where I spent much of my own life: seeking a way to fill my inner void. So it was no wonder that the little girl in my dream asked me this question. It was a question about loss, about disappointment. It was a question about being let down. A question about seeking something and coming back empty handed. It was about what happens when you try to dig in concrete with your bare hands: not only do you come back with nothing—you break your fingers in the process. And I learned this not by reading it, not by hearing it from a wise sage. I learned it by trying it again, and again, and again.

And so, the little girl’s question was essentially my own question…being asked to myself.

Ultimately, the question was about the nature of the dunya as a place of fleeting moments and temporary attachments. As a place where people are with you today, and leave or die tomorrow. But this reality hurts our very being because it goes against our nature. We, as humans, are made to seek, love, and strive for what is perfect and what is permanent. We are made to seek what’s eternal. We seek this because we were not made for this life. Our first and true home was Paradise: a land that is both perfect and eternal. So the yearning for that type of life is a part of our being. The problem is that we try to find that here. And so we create ageless creams and cosmetic surgery in a desperate attempt to hold on—in an attempt to mold this world into what it is not, and will never be.

And that’s why if we live in dunya with our hearts, it breaks us. That’s why this dunya hurts. It is because the definition of dunya, as something temporary and imperfect, goes against everything we are made to yearn for. Allah put a yearning in us that can only be fulfilled by what is eternal and perfect. By trying to find fulfillment in what is fleeting, we are running after a hologram…a mirage. We are digging into concrete with our bare hands. Seeking to turn what is by its very nature temporary into something eternal is like trying to extract from fire, water.  You just get burned. Only when we stop putting our hopes in dunya, only when we stop trying to make the dunya into what it is not—and was never meant to be (jannah)—will this life finally stop breaking our hearts.

We must also realize that nothing happens without a purpose. Nothing. Not even broken hearts. Not even pain. That broken heart and that pain are lessons and signs for us. They are warnings that something is wrong. They are warnings that we need to make a change. Just like the pain of being burned is what warns us to remove our hand from the fire, emotional pain warns us that we need to make an internal change. That we need to detach. Pain is a form of forced detachment. Like the loved one who hurts you again and again and again, the more dunya hurts us, the more we inevitably detach from it. The more we inevitably stop loving it.

And pain is a pointer to our attachments. That which makes us cry, that which causes us most pain is where our false attachments lie. And it is those things which we are attached to as we should only be attached to Allah which become barriers on our path to God. But the pain itself is what makes the false attachment evident. The pain creates a condition in our life that we seek to change, and if there is anything about our condition that we don’t like, there is a divine formula to change it. God says: “Verily never will God change the condition of a people until they change what is within themselves.” (Qur’an, 13:11)

After years of falling into the same pattern of disappointments and heartbreak, I finally began to realize something profound. I had always thought that love of dunya meant being attached to material things. And I was not attached to material things. I was attached to people. I was attached to moments. I was attached to emotions. So I thought that the love of dunya just did not apply to me. What I didn’t realize was that people, moments, emotions are all a part of dunya. What I didn’t realize is that all the pain I had experienced in life was due to one thing, and one thing only: love of dunya.

As soon as I began to have that realization, a veil was lifted from my eyes. I started to see what my problem was. I was expecting this life to be what it is not, and was never meant to be: perfect. And being the idealist that I am, I was struggling with every cell in my body to make it so. It had to be perfect. And I would not stop until it was. I gave my blood, sweat, and tears to this endeavor: making the dunya into jannah. This meant expecting people around me to be perfect. Expecting my relationships to be perfect. Expecting so much from those around me and from this life. Expectations. Expectations. Expectations. And if there is one recipe for unhappiness it is that: expectations. But herein lay my fatal mistake. My mistake was not in having expectations; as humans, we should never lose hope. The problem was in *where* I was placing those expectations and that hope. At the end of the day, my hope and expectations were not being placed in God. My hope and expectations were in people, relationships, means. Ultimately, my hope was in this dunya rather than Allah.

And so I came to realize a very deep Truth. An ayah began to cross my mind. It was an ayah I had heard before, but for the first time I realized that it was actually describing me:  “Those who rest not their hope on their meeting with Us, but are pleased and satisfied with the life of the present, and those who heed not Our Signs.” (Qur’an, 10:7)

By thinking that I can have everything here, my hope was not in my meeting with God. My hope was in dunya. But what does it mean to place your hope in dunya? How can this be avoided? It means when you have friends, don’t expect your friends to fill your emptiness. When you get married, don’t expect your spouse to fulfill your every need. When you’re an activist, don’t put your hope in the results. When you’re in trouble don’t depend on yourself. Don’t depend on people. Depend on God.

Seek the help of people—but realize that it is not the people (or even your own self) that can save you. Only Allah can do these things. The people are only tools, a means used by God. But they are not the source of help, aid, or salvation of any kind. Only God is. The people cannot even create the wing of a fly (22:73).  And so, even while you interact with people externally, turn your heart towards God. Face Him alone, as Prophet Ibrahim (as) said so beautifully: “For me, I have set my face, firmly and truly, towards Him Who created the heavens and the earth, and never shall I give partners to Allah.” (Qur’an, 6:79)

But how does Prophet Ibrahim (as) describe his journey to that point? He studies the moon, the sun and the stars and realizes that they are not perfect. They set.

They let us down.

So Prophet Ibrahim (as) was thereby led to face Allah alone. Like him, we need to put our full hope, trust, and dependency on God. And God alone. And if we do that, we will learn what it means to finally find peace and stability of heart. Only then will the roller coaster that once defined our lives finally come to an end. That is because if our inner state is dependent on something that is by definition inconstant, that inner state will also be inconstant. If our inner state is dependent on something changing and temporary, that inner state will be in a constant state of instability, agitation, and unrest. This means that one moment we’re happy, but as soon as that which our happiness depended upon changes, our happiness also changes. And we become sad. We remain always swinging from one extreme to another and not realizing why.

We experience this emotional roller coaster because we can never find stability and lasting peace until our attachment and dependency is on what is stable and lasting. How can we hope to find constancy if what we hold on to is inconstant and perishing? In the statement of Abu Bakr is a deep illustration of this truth. After the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ died, the people went into shock and could not handle the news. But although no one loved the Prophet ﷺ like Abu Bakr, Abu Bakr understood well the only place where one’s dependency should lie. He said: “If you worshipped Muhammad, know that Muhammad is dead. But if you worshipped Allah, know that Allah never dies.”

To attain that state, don’t let your source of fulfillment be anything other than your relationship with God. Don’t let your definition of success, failure, or self-worth be anything other than your position with Him (Qur’an, 49:13). And if you do this, you become unbreakable, because your handhold is unbreakable. You become unconquerable, because your supporter can never be conquered. And you will never become empty, because your source of fulfillment is unending and never diminishes.

Looking back at the dream I had when I was 17, I wonder if that little girl was me. I wonder this because the answer I gave her was a lesson I would need to spend the next painful years of my life learning. My answer to her question of why people have to leave each other was: “because this life isn’t perfect; for if it was, what would the next be called?”

By Zahra

The Virtues of the first 10 days of Dhul Hijjah ((the last month of the Islamic calendar and the month of pilgrimage)) :

1. Ahadith (narrations) of the Prophet ﷺ (peace be upon him):

قال النبي –صلى الله عليه وسلم-( مامن أيام العمل الصالح فيها أحب إلى الله من هذه الأيام قالوا يا رسول الله : ولا الجهاد في سبيل الله قال ولا الجهاد في سبيل الله إلا رجل خرج بنفسه وماله فلم يرجع من ذلك بشئ) رواه البخاري

The Prophet ﷺ said: “There are no days in which good deeds are more beloved to Allah than during these days. The Sahaba said: O Rasul Allah [Messenger of God], not even jihad in the path of Allah? He ﷺ said: Not even jihad in the path of Allah except for the man who goes out in the path of Allah with his life and his wealth and returns with neither of them.”

وقال ( أفضل أيام الدنيا أيام العشر) رواه البزار وصححه الالبانى.

And he ﷺ said: “The best days of this world are these ten.”

2. Allah swears by these 10 days in the Qur’an:

قول الله تعالى: ((وَالْفَجْرِ، وَلَيَالٍ عَشْرٍ)) سورة الفجر (1-2)، قال ابن كثير رحمه الله: المراد بها عشر ذي الحجة

Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He) says: “By the dawn, and by the 10 nights,” [Qur’an, 89:1-2]. Ibn ‘Abbas, Ibn al-Zubayr, Mujahid and others of the earlier and later generations said that this refers to the first ten days of Dhul Hijjah. Ibn Katheer said: “This is the correct opinion.”

قال تعالى: ((وَيَذْكُرُوا اسْمَ اللَّهِ فِي أَيَّامٍ مَّعْلُومَاتٍ)) سورة الحج(28)، قال ابن عباس: أيام العشر

Allah says: “…and mention the name of Allah on appointed days,” [Qur’an, 22:28]. Ibn ‘Abbas said these are the ten days.

3. These ten days are better than Ramadan:

قال المحققون من أهل العلم: أيام عشر ذي الحجة أفضل الأيام، وليالي العشر الأواخر من رمضان أفضل الليالي.

Most scholars adopt the opinion that these days are better than the last ten days of Ramadan. However, what holds the last ten days of Ramadan at a higher status is the Night of Power (Laylat ul-Qadr) which is equivalent to one thousand months (83.33 years).

تضاعف فيها الحسنات قال ابن عباس”: العمل فيهن بسبعمائة ضعف”

The rewards are multiplied in these days. Ibn ‘Abbas said: “(The reward for good) deeds are multiplied seven hundred times in these days.”

قال الاوزاعى: “بلغني أن العمل في أيام العشر كقدر غزوة في سبيل الله يصام نهارها ويحرس ليلها إلا أن يختص امرء بشهادة”

Al Awzaa’i said: “I was informed that good deeds during the ten days are the equivalent (in reward) to a battle in the path of Allah, in which the day is spent in fasting and the night in safeguarding, except if one is bestowed with martyrdom.”

In Ramadan, doing good deeds and struggling in worship, especially during the last ten nights, is easier than during these days for a few reasons. Firstly, the atmosphere of the month of Ramadan, whether culturally, spiritually, or traditionally, makes it easier to focus and strive. Secondly, the shayateen (devils) are chained. So, to get that drive and direction we had in Ramadan is much harder when we have most likely fallen out of “Ramadan mode.” However, since the `ibada (worship) is more difficult, the reward is greater. So let’s keep this in mind and get ready to really work hard.

The Plan of Action for these 10 days:

1. Really feel this blessing and realize that it is an opportunity of a lifetime, because none of us know if we will witness these 10 days again.

كان خالد بن معدان يقول( إذا فتح لأحدكم باب للخير فليسرع فاءنه لا يدرى متى يغلق عنه

Khalid bin Mi`dan used to say: “If the door for good is opened for one of you, then rush (to take advantage) because you don’t know when it will close.”

2. Have high aspirations in your worship and use the examples of the ijtihad (diligence) of the saliheen (righteous) as motivation.

3. Take advantage of the opportunities to get the reward of Hajj (pilgrimage to Mecca) while being elsewhere.

قال-صلى الله عليه وسلم-( من صلى الفجر في جماعة ثم قعد يذكر الله حتى تطلع الشمس ثم صلى ركعتين كانت له كأجر حجة وعمرة تامة تامة تامة

The Prophet ﷺ said: “Whoever prays fajr [the pre-dawn prayer] in congregation and then sits in remembrance of Allah until the sun rises, then prays two rak`aat [units of prayer], he has the full reward of Hajj and `umrah (the lesser pilgrimage).”

4. Perfect the fara’idh (obligatory actions):

Often times we become busy trying to do extra deeds, but neglect the fact that perhaps maybe what is obligatory upon us is not at the level it should be. There is no way for a person to become close to Allah (swt) other than through the obligatory actions, as is apparent in the famous hadith qudsi (sacred narration) in which Allah (swt) says: “My servant does not become closer to me by anything more beloved to me than what I have obligated upon him.”

Reasonable Goals:

1. Khatm (Complete Recitation) of Qur’an:

It is equivalent to more than half a million hasanaat (good deeds) during these days. Let’s try to complete the recitation of the Qur’an during these days, ending by `Asr (the afternoon prayer) time on the day of `Arafah (the ninth day of Dhul-Hijjah) and spending from `Asr to Magrhib (the post-sunset prayer) in du`a’ (supplication).

2. Qiyam al-Layl (Late Night Prayer):

Rasulallah (the Messenger of God) ﷺ said: “Whoever stands in prayer, reciting 1,000 verses, is written among the muqantareen.” A qintar (the root of muqantareen) is equal to 70,000 dinar. The recitation of the last two ajzaa’ (parts) of the Qur’an is equivalent to 1,000 verses.

3. Extra Salah (Prayer) During the Day:

The Prophet ﷺ said: “There is not a Muslim who prays twelve rak`aat per day, other than the obligatory prayers, except that a palace is built for him in paradise.”

4. Dhikr: The best form of worship to do in these ten days as apparent in the hadith (narration):

Ibn `Umar said that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “There is no day more honorable in Allah ‘s sight and no acts more beloved therein to Allah than those in these ten days. So say tahlil [‘There is no deity worthy of worship but Allah: La ilaha illAllah‘], takbir [‘Allah is the greatest: Allahu akbar‘] and tahmid [‘All praise is due to Allah: alhumdulillah‘] a lot.” [Ahmad, 7/224]

The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “The best du`a’ is du`a’ on the day of `Arafah, and the best thing that I or the Prophets before me have said is ‘There is no god but Allah, alone, without any partner’ [La ilaha illa’llah, wahdahu la sharika lah].” [Muwatta, Malik].

7. Reviving the Sunnah of Takbir [‘Allahu Akbar‘]:

Ibn `Umar and Abu Hurairah radi allahu `anhu (may God be pleases with him) used to go out in the marketplace during the first ten days of Dhul-Hijjah, reciting takbir, and the people would recite takbir when they heard them.

8. Fasting:

The reward of fasting is great, so imagine how much that reward would be multiplied in these days. If one can’t fast all of the 9 days, then at least on the day of `Arafah as it is the greatest day.

Abu Qatadah reported that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “Fasting on the day of ‘Arafah is an expiation for two years, the year preceding it and the year following it. Fasting the day of `Ashura is an expiation for the year preceding it.” [This is related by “the group,” except for al-Bukhari and at-Tirmidhi.]

The Prophet ﷺ said “There is no day that Allah will free people more than the day of `Arafah.”

`Ali (ra) used to advise people to say, “O Allah, free my neck from the fire,” on the day of `Arafah.

9. Du`a’:

Especially on the day of `Arafah, but also at anytime. Keep in mind the times where du`a’ is more likely to be accepted and ask during those times.

• The last third of the night
• Between the adhaan and iqaamah
• During the rain
• In sujood
• On Friday
• While fasting

10. Sadaqa (Charity):

Give sadaqa during these days, since the reward is multiplied tremendously.

11. Tawbah (Asking for Forgiveness):

Continually renew repentance.

12. Establish Ikhlas (Sincerity) in `ibada (Worship).

13. Check and renew intentions at all times.

The Day of `Eid

On the greatest day, remained focused as it is still part of the first 10 days which are the best days of the year! Try not to get too caught up in celebrating that you stop doing the worship that you were doing the first 9 days.

The day of ‘Eid is a day for visiting family and performing the sacrifice for one who is able.

Reconstructing Beauty Series: Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII

A Clarification on Beautifying Gender Relations Within the Community

Co-ed Love for the Sake of Allah? Part 1 | Part 2

Photo: Pictoscribe

I was standing next to the grave, supplicating quietly to Allah for the man we just buried. He was a family relative, loved by many alhamdulilLah (praise be to God). As I stood there, a few other women came and also started to supplicate. They spoke aloud in a low voice, “We never heard anything but good from you or about you, so we ask Allah to accept all your good deeds and forgive your sins, and accept you into Paradise…” I was touched by something in this moment. I didn’t know them personally, we didn’t exchange words but I was taught by their example. They displayed the most beautiful adab (manners) of brotherhood and sisterhood for their deceased Muslim brother, who was not directly related to them. Subhan’Allah (glory be to God), when the heart is pure, the “rules” emanate naturally without effort. Everything in their manner, speech, and conduct was modest, respectful and filled with noble love.

The code of inter-gender relations comes from this noble kind of love. It is generous in giving, while conscious of Allah, subhanahu wa ta’ala (exalted is He). It is full of haya.’ Haya’ is sometimes described as ‘shyness’, but misunderstood to mean a desire to hide, to be nervous, overly self-conscious, and unable to communicate. This is not the meaning of haya’ and it’s a real shame that men and women are sometimes taught social anxiety in the name of haya’. Haya’ comes from consciousness of Allah (swt)—that a servant of Allah would feel too “shy” to commit an open and indecent sin in the presence of the Most High, that they feel humbled in the presence of the Creator, so they honor His creation. The believer is not a show-off for any of their blessings. Rather they are grateful, and hope to use their many gifts in the service of their Lord. One of the most graceful ways to serve Allah (swt) is by serving and honoring His creation, in the manner that He approves. This is our code as brothers and sisters.

“The believing men and believing women are allies of one another.” (Qu’ran, 9:71)

The 10 Principles

1. Be sincere in your interactions.

The Prophet ﷺ (may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) taught us, “Truly, actions are according to their intentions.” ((Bukhari)) All interaction with God’s creation is a reflection of our interaction with the Creator. When a person truly relies on God and seeks Him first and foremost, they let go of the need for approval from others and seek it only from Him (swt). As a result, the way they work with others has to do with God’s approval, not that of others. When we deal with the opposite sex, it’s important to make sure we are not *needy for some form of approval from them, and especially the kind that should only be sought from a spouse (ie: sexual attention, seeking their admiration). However, God loves for us to love and respect our brothers and sisters. If we’re seeking God’s approval in our interactions then we open our hearts in a noble way towards one another with the best of manners. Facial expressions, body language, tone of voice and the general energy brought into interactions should be respectful and professional. One who is sincere in seeking only Allah’s approval and not wanting something from the people will find it very natural to follow the rest of the guidelines.

What this looks like in person: Imagine you’re speaking to a boss, a professor or perhaps an older individual in the mosque. In most situations, even if you were buddies with that person, you’d still have a level of respect in your interactions with them that would be different from your friend at school. Do the same thing when you interact with someone of the opposite sex. It doesn’t mean you need to be cold. You need not be overtly rude or intimidating. If you are typically a really humorous and laid back person, you don’t need to radically change your personality so that the person/people you’re with don’t laugh. Just be yourself in a professional and courteous way.

What this looks like online/social media: Be mindful of your online conversations and avoid saying what you would feel uncomfortable having your parent or someone you respect overhear. Question your intentions before commenting or messaging. Only you and God know if what you’re doing is for the right reasons. This is one of the most powerful and dynamic limits of Allah (swt) because it actually builds your confidence. The habit of checking and renewing the intention develops a foundation of sincerity between you and Allah, and of good-will between you and His creation.

2. Make your interaction purposeful and professional.

There’s an Islamic legal maxim that states, “The origins of things is permissibility.” In other words, unless there is something that is expressly prohibited when it comes to interactions and worldly issues, it is allowed. However, when it came to the issue of gender relations specifically, some scholars used a different maxim: “The origin of inter-gender interactions is impermissibility, unless expressly permitted.” In other words, inter-gender interaction, unless there was an absolute necessity, major benefit attained, major harm prevented, or something not considered harmful in a particular cultural context, would generally be avoided.

These scholars also cited the principle of sadd al-tharee’ah—that whatever leads to a prohibited act in and of itself becomes prohibited. In this regard, cultural context becomes increasingly important. This is because in some cultures, specific actions may be misunderstood as an invitation to something prohibited, while in others, it is simply a respectful interaction.

As an example, a polite joke about the weather with the cashier at a grocery store is seen as neighborly small talk in the United States but can be understood as flirting in a different cultural context. For this other culture, scholars may consider the polite joke prohibited because it would lead to un-lowered and lustful gazes and conversation that points to something more. But to apply the latter understanding to our context in the west would be a great disservice. Here, the action and words do not imply sexual interest in the least, but rather is received as acceptable, polite conversation. And even in the same context, to overdo it leads to a misapplication of the law and the creation of a sub-culture that is foreign to the spirit of Islam. Shaykh Al-Rasuni mentions that the overextension of the legal principle sadd al-tharee’ah can create extremism and turn perfectly halal situations into haram ones. ((al-Raysuni, Ahmad)) So it should be applied with care, lest we turn Islam into something it is not.

If you look at both approaches—“The origin of interactions is allowed except what is prohibited,” and “the origin of interactions is prohibited except what is allowed”—they both lead to the same conclusion: Interactions should be purposeful, there should be a reason that is not suspect according to a particular culture, there are limits and it is not a complete free-for-all.

What this looks like in person: The on-campus Muslim Students Association (MSA) holds a meeting to discuss an upcoming event. There is purpose in their reason for coming together. They do not have to robotically and mechanically only ask “yes” or “no” questions, sticking to a script to ensure every word has a specific purpose. There can be polite small talk in asking about each other’s schoolwork and checking in on each other’s families. Now again, things go back to intention (point 1). On the outside things can be purposeful, but if on the inside things are not, it leads to Allah’s displeasure. A brother can tutor a study group of brothers and sisters for a class they are taking in college together in a noble way. He can also do so to enjoy the attention and admiration of the sisters and use that space for his own desires. On the outside no one may notice the difference, but on the inside Allah (swt) always does. A blessed interaction is both purposeful on the outside and pure on the inside.

What this looks like online/social media: Keep it purposeful and professional. No need to play online games with someone of the opposite sex. No need to start private conversations or comment in an over-relaxed, joking manner on posts or pictures.From emails, the messaging on social media, SnapChat, etc.—don’t do anything that you would be ashamed to do in front of someone you love and respect, like the Prophet ﷺ. Know that Allah (swt) sees you above all, and wants your honor and integrity to be protected.

3. Cover your ‘awra (nakedness).

In short, the ‘awra of men is from their naval to their knees. However, it is highly encouraged for men to cover beyond this. In other words, it’s not modest to show up without a shirt or a super tight one and skinny jeans, exposing a brother’s form. For women, even in the most lenient opinions, the minimum that should be covered is everything but the face, hands, and feet, in loose, non-form fitting, opaque clothing. Traditionally some scholars allowed kuhl and powder as allowable make-up, and some allowed the plucking of eyebrows in our times. There are opinions that are much more encompassing, but deliberately being shared here is the base minimum for anyone interested in following a valid scholarly opinion within our tradition.

An important point of clarification is needed here. When we think of a woman’s public dress in Islam, the Prophetic understanding was that it was a level more modest than that of men. There is an incident where the Prophet ﷺ gives a companion a thawb (dress) and later sees that companion and asks him why he does not wear it. The companion says he let his wife wear it. To this the Prophet encourages him to tell his wife to wear something under it because he fears that her form would show if she wears it without a layer under it (the way a man would). In other words, the ‘awra of a woman requires an additional standard of looseness. ((Kuwaiti Encyclopedia of Fiqh, `awra’))

Now, what does that mean for men and women struggling to maintain these general dress guidelines? Does that mean they should not be permitted into Muslim spaces when the opposite sex will be present, nor organize campus or community events? Absolutely not! All should be welcome; all of us struggle with different aspects of our worship and this is simply one that’s more obvious because it’s outer. Principle number 4 means each of us are responsible for what we see. At the same time, even if one does not normally cover the full ‘awra, when it comes to sacred spaces such as the Masajid as the Houses of Allah, we should make an extra effort to wear our most God-pleasing clothing there, as a way of showing extra deference to our Creator. This is not an act of hypocrisy; it’s an act of respect. This is simply an explanation of guidelines while recognizing each person has their own journey, struggle, and varying abilities to perform. The scholars also differentiated between `awra ghaleetha and `awra khafeefa: that some body parts or more `awra’ than others. A person may try to grow gradually in their dress hoping to ease the path toward following all its guidelines.

A couple of critical points to take into consideration:

A. Hijab for women is not about Men.

When Muslim women are asked why do they wear hijab, the simple answer is, “Because God asked me to” not “Because men asked me to.” Hijab is about Allah (swt) and submitting to His will and trusting His way. It’s an incredibly spiritual act especially today because you must strive to remove the desire for human approval completely in order to practice it well. Allah (swt) says, “that is purer for you.” Hijab is a purification. For some, hijab may help purify the tendency towards vanity. For others, it is simply a constant physical reminder that our goal in life is to please our Creator. The experience of hijab for many is described as “liberating” and “a divine gift” as it encourages us to recognize our own spiritual and intellectual center, and compels us to honor, even celebrate this most sacred part of ourselves as we deal with the world.

B. Hijab is not meant to erase physical beauty, but honor it.

What happens if a woman covers herself appropriately, and people still feel tempted by her or are attracted to her? Beauty is not a woman’s ‘fault’, and she is not asked to hide because others can’t control their feelings. Rather, they must lower their gaze and purify their thoughts.

Ibn Abbas said: “A beautiful woman, from among the most beautiful of women, used to pray behind the Prophet ﷺ. Some of the people used to go to pray in the first row to ensure they would not be able to see her. Others would pray in the last row of the men, and they would look from underneath their armpits to see her. Because of this act, in regard to her, Allah revealed, “And We have already known the preceding [generations] among you, and We have already known the later [ones to come],” (Qu’ran, 15:24). ((This hadith is found in ibn Majah, Abu Dawud, Tayalisi, Baihaqi, Ahmad, Tirmidhi, and Nasai and it is judged SAHIH by Albani. He includes it as #3472 in his Silsilat al-Ahadith as-Sahih))

In this incident, Allah (swt) does not reveal that a barrier be put up to block off the view of the women’s side. He does not ask the woman to not come to the masjid. She is not told to wear niqab. She is not asked to pray in the last lines. Allah is addressing the men and these are verses revealed after the command of hijab was in place. Allah is telling them that He knows what is in their hearts. Hijab is not to remove all beauty from a woman. Rather, it is to let her define her sense of beauty by donning the dress and character that pleases God.

4. Lower your gaze.

God commands the believing men and women to lower from their gazes in the Qur’an. ((Qur’an 24:30-31)) The imperative word here is “from.” Scholars have commented that looking at each other in and of itself is not prohibited, for if it was the word “from” would have been omitted in the command. However, the command indicates there are some gazes that are not allowed, and this based on Prophetic guidance includes the lustful gaze as well as looking at what is considered ‘awra. Yet, it is common practice for men and women in Muslim activist settings to avoid looking at one another directly in the eyes or in the face, and they are dressed modestly. Some scholars have mentioned that this is praiseworthy as a form of respect. However, in the greater western context, not making eye contact is usually considered awkward and can be seen as distrustful and in an instance like this, we can take our general cultural custom to inform the way we interact within the aforementioned Islamic boundaries.

What this looks like in person: Therefore, in general, the best way to fulfill this requirement is to simply avert your gaze specifically if you find yourself attracted to someone, not to check anyone out, and to avoid looking at certain areas of the body you should not be looking at anyway—most especially if they are uncovered. Otherwise, it’s permissible to simply look a person in the eyes politely when having a conversation. This applies both inside of and outside of Muslim spaces.

What this looks like online/social media: When you put up a picture on social media, be cognizant of what other people are seeing. And if you wouldn’t make a crazy duck face or show certain body parts to a person of the opposite sex in person or look at those things in person, do not post that type of picture or send that picture over SnapChat or stare at those pics if they’re sent to you (which, btw, why are they being sent to you?). Do not deliberately spend time staring at a picture of someone of the opposite sex without purpose. When commenting on a picture—even if it’s of the same gender—avoid statements such as, “Hey sexy!” or “Hot!” especially when you know that person has friends of the opposite sex who will also see those pictures and those comments in their newsfeed.

5. Keep it public.

The Prophetﷺ taught us “…Satan is the third person in an isolated area (khalwah) where there is only a man with a (non-mahram) woman…” (Ibn Al-Atheer – Sahih).

This narration indicates that being alone with one person of the opposite gender who is not a direct relative (mahram) is prohibited in Islam. Being alone constitutes any space which is locked and opaque, or open but totally isolated.

What this looks like in person: In person: Meet in public spaces. Whether it’s in the library or an off-campus café, make sure your professional organizing happens in a public space and at an appropriate time. Even in a public space, a suggestion is to bring a respectful third person or a group of people to make sure you and the other person are not the only ones together, as a way of maintaining a professional environment. This also changes a bit as you grow in different life stages.

If you’re in high school and working on a project, you should definitely bring other people along if you meet outside of school in a café or somewhere informal. If you’re in your fifties and you’re meeting to discuss masjid board policy away from the masjid, meeting in a public space should be sufficient without needing “chaperones.” Imams, for example, have office hours at the masjid, and leave the door open or open their blinds so others can see in, if the door is closed to protect confidentiality. For non-Imams and work spaces, if what you need to meet about is private, like needing crucial advice, simply meeting in a public space should be sufficient as long as you’re both aware of being respectful and keeping things professional. If you can bring a third person who can sit somewhere nearby who is not able to hear the conversation, consider this option. This is not to suggest you and the other person meeting together, in a public space, are going automatically to do something lewd if you don’t. It’s simply to protect your hearts, words and yes, long-term actions, from going down the path of regret—and instead allow both persons to engage each other in a way that inspires true respect and noble love for Allah (swt).

What this looks like online/social media: When applicable, have a third person involved. For example, if you are a female organizing an event and you are emailing a male, yet you know that another male or female is also involved in that specific aspect you’re emailing about, then simply include them in the conversation. Some people when they have to work closely with someone of the opposite gender, simply let them know that they have given their email password to their spouse or trusted sibling, in order to allow everyone to feel like the door to the room is open rather than locked. Others choose to make phone calls when they’re around people and the person they are calling is aware of that fact. The point isn’t to constantly have yourself monitored, it’s really to just build a repertoire between one another in your interactions. By not feeling fully alone together, the relationship remains fraternal and professional.

6. Protect your reputation.

At the outset, it must be stated that the concept of a reputation is misused at times. Sometimes, parents do not allow their daughters specifically to do certain things that they consider immodest or immoral within a specific cultural context due to a fear of what others may say about them. This sometimes causes young women to feel angry and frustrated and often blame Islam for being restrictive when in reality, it’s a specific concept their family has about what is and isn’t appropriate. Misusing the concept of protecting one’s honor has negative and unnecessary ramifications. And yes, people should make 70 excuses for what they see or hear about others. However, at the same time, there is a place in Islam for protecting our reputation and not putting ourselves in situations where another believer may feel concerned about us.

What this looks like in person: This is exactly what the Prophet ﷺ did when walking with his wife Safiya radi Allahu `anha (may God be pleased with her). Someone saw them and the Prophet ﷺ said, “This is Safiya!” They were surprised and said, “Prophet of God! We would never think you had a girlfriend or something like that!” The Prophet ﷺ responded, “Yes, but Satan travels through people like blood through the body.” ((Bukhari)) The Prophet’s ﷺtechnical circumstances were halal but he wanted to make sure it was clear and not misunderstood.

What this looks like online/social media: The unfortunate reality of a sister or brother having an inappropriate or unnecessary online relationship has repercussions. For example, with an MSA brother, a sister may become a counselor-like friend and sometimes falls for the brother. The brother sometimes though, turns to her not because he wants to marry her, but because he perhaps enjoys that relationship with a female without having to commit to her and at times, may lead her on. On the flip side in another example, a sister may enjoy informal, intimate conversations and a certain brother’s attention; she may not be interested in marrying him, but enjoys the relationship and may sometimes lead him on. In both scenarios, the sister and brother may get a reputation for being easily used, desperate or whipped. Brothers and sisters: this is about respecting yourself enough that you do not allow yourself to be put in suspect situations that can harm your well-being and reputation in your specific context.

7. No touching.

The Messenger ﷺ stated, “It is better for an iron rod to be driven into the head of a man, than for him to touch a woman who is not permissible for him.” (Mu’jam al Kabir) Though the word ‘touch’ here is understood by some scholars to be a euphemism for fornication, generally the principle is applied for all unnecessary (non-medical, etc.) touching, as derived from the Prophetic biography.

God tells us, “And do not come near unlawful sexual intercourse.” Not touching is a preventative measure as to what can come that’s greater. The Prophet ﷺnever shook hands when he took the Pledge of Aqaba from the female companions, though he did with the men. This shows at the very least that touching, even by shaking hands with the opposite gender, is not generally encouraged. There should be no casual high fives, no hugs, no physical interaction between sexes who are not closely blood related or married. Not even if you’re “promised” to one another and going to be married soon. Unless you have your written marriage contract (known as the “katb al-kitab” or “`aqd” or “nikah” in different cultures and sometimes considered an engagement after the contract is signed), no physical touching should happen.

But what about shaking hands in our specific context,, as a known form of greeting and professionalism?

Consider Shaykh Yusuf Qaradwi‘s and Shaykh Abdullah bin Bayyah‘s discussions on the issue. His allowance, with caveats, must be read and understood, as it provides an alternative to the typical discussion on prohibition. If you choose not to shake hands, make sure you politely decline with class and creativity. Ensure it’s done in ways that would help hearts feel closer to you rather than turn away in aversion.

8. Be respectful of people’s personal space and levels of comfort.

We deal with different Muslims from different backgrounds. We do not want to impose our gender interaction cultural norms on them. We should try to engage them with what is comfortable for them, without giving up our own rights. This is just basic consideration for how others feel, male and female. Once the Prophet ﷺ even changed the way he was sitting out of his consideration for the modesty of Uthman (ra):

Aisha reports: The Prophet ﷺwas lying down in his house with his thighs or his calves exposed. Abu Bakr asked permission to enter and was permitted while the Prophet ﷺ was in that position and he came in and spoke with him ﷺ. Then, Umar asked permission to enter. He was granted permission and came in and spoke with him ﷺ while in that position. Then, Uthman asked permission and the Prophet ﷺ sat up and straightened his clothing. He was then permitted and came in and spoke with the Prophet ﷺ. After he had gone, Aisha said: Abu Bakr entered and you did not get up for him or worry about him and Umar came in and you did not get up for him nor worry about him but when Uthman came in, you straightened out your clothing! The Prophet ﷺ said: “Should I not be shy of a man around whom the angels are shy?” (Muslim)

This is a true act of love for Allah (swt), and such consideration for the comfort levels of the other should be practiced across genders as well.

What this looks like in person: Some people from other countries or ways of thinking do not talk to unrelated members of the opposite sex for any reason (unless an absolute emergency) and are even uncomfortable giving salam (greetings of peace). In our western context, scholars have encouraged men and women to spread the salam to build a sense of support and community especially as a religious minority. Generally speaking, it is praiseworthy to initiate the salam and an obligation to respond to it, ((Qur’an 4:86)) regardless of gender, unless you have good reason to believe it would be understood as flirtatious to do so. If you know someone is uncomfortable, do not put them in an awkward situation—even with something as simple as the salam. At the same time, a man from such an environment may feel uncomfortable with women in the same prayer space and want them to leave. For this, women should ***not*** be expected to leave because of someone else’s discomfort; women should take their Islamic right to worship in the House of God. In this example, it is the other person who needs to practice consideration of her rights.

Another example is to not stand too close to each other when you are talking. If you can smell their breath, shampoo, or deodorant then you are standing too close. If someone takes a step back everytime you take a step forward, then realize they prefer a bigger gap between themselves and you and stop inching forward.

What this looks likes online/social media: If you friend request someone of the opposite gender on Facebook and they don’t confirm, respect their privacy. If someone always CCs a third party when they email you, try to reply all and respect that. When we treat each other with nobility, it fosters trust.

9. Speak in a decent manner.

Perhaps there is no single behavior that more clearly defines our manners than speech. Allah (swt) has many commands about speech in the Qur’an. Its content should be good and decent (2:235). Its tone should be straight-forward (33:70). It should not be made soft on purpose (33:32). It should not be loud and arrogant (31:19). There should be no vain or excessive speech (23:3).

This is interesting as 90% of communication is non-verbal, and most perception comes from our tone of voice. And nothing affects tone of voice like intention. When the intention is good, speech is naturally unaffected and straight-forward, good in both content and delivery. The best way to examine our own hearts sometimes is to use our speech as a window to ourselves so we can ask, “What is going on inside?”

What this look likes in person: Speech is normal. This may appear humorous but as a dear sister once asked, “Why didn’t anyone just tell us to be normal?” In her situation, she was working and wanted to make da`wah (call to Islam) to her co-workers by showing how friendly and extra helpful a Muslim can be. Slightly sheltered in her upbringing, she went out of her way just to be very excited and supportive all the time and it was unfortunately understood as something else. Her version of ‘nice’ was over the top. She realized later that co-workers of the opposite gender, according to the advice of the Human Resources department, simply were to engage each other in a straight-forward, ‘normal’ way which is what Islam encourages anyway. Her speech was simply a mistake; but others actually make the mistake in their intention too. Don’t deliberately try to use an attractive sounding voice, don’t deliberately laugh and giggle for the purpose of drawing flirtatious attention, don’t extend conversations endlessly just to stay in the presence of another person. In other words, just be normal!

What this looks like online/social media: Don’t flirt, don’t be excessive in praise, or dismissive and disrespectful in joking. Use language that you wouldn’t feel shy of the Prophet ﷺ witnessing, knowing Allah (swt) always does.

10. Ensure your circumstances are safe.

One of the conditions for allowing women’s travel alone is safety and ensuring the place of stay. In general, for both men and women, Personal Safety (life, health) in itself is considered one of the greater objectives of Islamic Law. Keep in mind, two people don’t need to be in complete isolation for it to be unsafe.

What this look likes in person: If you’re a sister, going to a brother’s apartment, or a brother going to a sister’s apartment to study for example, even if it is shared with others—that is unsafe. Going into a public parking lot that is empty to get class notes at an odd hour of the night is unsafe. The point is, whether man or woman, be smart about where you meet, choose an appropriate time, and ensure it’s in a safe space.

What this looks like online/social media: Do not put personal information like where you live on your Facebook or other online site. If you’re “checking in” somewhere online, let it be somewhere public and attended by people. For example, if you are at the beach when it’s deserted at night, do not “check in” live on sites or social media where your location can be tracked by strangers, or even people you don’t know well.

________________________

Finally, the pursuit of marriage is the reason many young people get involved in relationships or put themselves in situations they later regret. Marriage is a noble intention, and should be pursued nobly. A guiding principle is the ends don’t justify the means in Islam. The space of Islamic work may be a place where people meet potential spouses, but the work should not be used as an excuse to get attention under the guise of being interested in marriage. Once a person realizes their interest in marriage towards someone is a sustained interest, they should take a respectful and responsible approach. That means, be like Musa, `alayhi as salaam (peace be upon him), and talk to her family. Or be like Khadijah (ra), and talk to a reputable friend, preferably married, who can find a tactful way to recommend you. It is permissible to approach the person you’re interested in directly, specifically if you know that’s their personal preference as well since not everyone has a supportive or present family. However, make sure it’s done with respect. When you’re respectful in both means and method, you can pursue your intention for marriage through its blessed path, and continue your Islamic work/volunteering on its own blessed path.

Inter-gender relations can be tricky, but remember: Just be normal! With the right intention, with purpose, and with efforts to try our best with the general guidelines God has revealed for our work together, we can focus on ensuring that our relationships lead to benefiting ourselves, our families, our societies and the world at large, with God’s will.

It is hoped that this inter-gender relations summary be of service to brothers and sisters everywhere. May Allah (swt) ennoble our character, manners, and disposition with what pleases Him most. May He allow us to practice both the spirit and letter of His guidance for us. May He forgive our many shortcomings and mistakes. May Allah increase us in His remembrance, gratitude, guidance, and beautify our worship. May He accept from us all. Ameen.

Abu Bakr bin `Ubaidullah bin Anas bin Malik narrated [from Anas] that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “Whoever raises two girls then I and he will enter Paradise like these two.” And he indicated with his two fingers. [Bukhari]

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ was exemplary in every role he held in society. This held true in his role as a father to his daughter Fatima radi Allahu `anhaa (may God be pleased with her), the wife of Ali ibn Abu Talib (ra). You need not look too far into the sunnah (way of the Prophet ﷺ) to find examples of the remarkable connection between the two. From the beginning of revelation to the days of the Prophet Muhammad’s ﷺ passing, there is evidence of a love only found between a father and his daughter. The Prophet ﷺ said, as recorded in Muslim, “Fatima is part of me. Whatever upsets her upsets me, and whatever harms her harms me.”

The relationship between Muhammad ﷺ and Fatimah (ra) makes sense in light of what present day research tells us about this familial connection. Modern day psychology highlights the remarkable impact a daughter’s relationship with her father has on many aspects of her life, from her relationships with others, her career choice and even how she handles stress (B. Auer et al, Journal of Family Psychology, 2012). Unfortunately, sometimes in the Muslim community, rather than foster this love and empower daughters as the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ had, we see cases where daughters are facing injustice in their own homes and the sunnah is being abandoned. This article provides advice to fathers on how to empower their daughters through understanding of Islamic principles and modern day psychology.

Dear fathers,

1. If you have younger daughters, perhaps ages five to eight, take them with you to the mosque. Remember that the mosque is a place of worship and is just as much a place for women as it is for men. Establish your daughter’s relationship with the house of God early on. Take her with you and encourage her to perform salat (prayer), even though at this age, it is not required. Just imagine the message this act sends to other fathers. Even though it may be inconvenient at times, an effort to create fond memories is a great step in deeply bonding with your daughter. I speak from experience when I say that it will be something she never forgets. When your daughter grows up, perhaps she will be more willing to get involved in the mosque activities and it may be that you receive reward for that. Remember that the beloved Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “Whoever guides someone to virtue will be rewarded equivalent to him who practices that good action.” [Sahih Muslim].

2. Adolescence is an uncomfortable experience for everyone. Particularly as a young girl, the frightening and sudden physiological changes are accompanied with societal pressures to “look like this” and “walk like that”. As a young teenage girl, dealing with all this pressure can be overwhelming. So when your daughter gets to her teenage years, be aware of the struggles she will certainly face and do not ever dismiss her as ‘emotional’. As a father, your psychological support is extraordinarily important. Be patient with her and let her know you are there for her. If your relationship does not allow for you to speak about feminine issues comfortably, then remember that your wife (or other important women in your daughter’s life) are your allies. Express your concerns to those women and ask them to be there for your daughter. This way, you are aware of the issues she is facing and if or when the time comes, you will be prepared to advise her, or even just listen.

3. Tell her that she is beautiful at every age. According to the Journal of Pediatric Psychology (K. Boutelle et al, 2002), “35-57% of adolescent girls engage in crash dieting, fasting, self-induced vomiting, diet pills, or laxatives and overweight girls are more likely than normal weight girls to engage in such extreme dieting.” This statistic might shock you but as a woman and a mentor to many ladies, it does not shock me. In present-day society, all forms of media, be it Instagram, magazines or music videos, can have potentially devastating psychological effects. We cannot escape these subliminal messages that try to define beauty. Young girls and women are especially targeted by these messages. Although we cannot eliminate these influences, you as a father can act as a ‘stress buffer’ or someone who alleviates the negative psychological effects of such influences. So let her hear from the most important man in her life that she is beautiful. But remember to also stress the importance of inner beauty. We remind ourselves of the following hadith (tradition of the Prophet ﷺ): the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “Allah does not look at your figures, nor at your attire but He looks at your hearts [and deeds].” [Muslim]

4. Encourage your daughter to be active in the community. Be supportive of her activism. The women around the Prophet ﷺ were beacons of empowerment to other women in their communities. Encourage your daughter to be a part of this legacy, whether she is teaching other youth or volunteering at a local event. I urge all fathers to understand the incredible benefits of community involvement for Muslim women, and everyone else. It encourages empathy, God-consciousness, independence, time management skills, and so much more. I have watched so many women discover their passions and identity through this work and I have seen these same women break down when their fathers discouraged – or worse – insulted their community involvement.

5. Be the best example of a man you can be. Why? Well, besides the obvious “you’ll be accountable for your actions,” your daughter will almost certainly use you as her standard when deciding on her future husband. As her father, you are the first man to whom she develops an attachment, whether the conditions of that attachment are healthy or not. Her expectations of a man will be affected by the way you treat her, her mother, and others, the way you deal with emotions, your work ethic and so on. This reminds me of the following excerpt of a hadith: the Messenger of Allah, ﷺ, said, “Every one of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. The leader of people is a guardian and is responsible for his subjects. A man is the guardian of his family and he is responsible for them…” [Bukhari and Muslim].

I pray that fathers find this article helpful and that it provides insight and an opportunity to reflect deeply. No matter what age your daughter is, it is never too late to beautify and enhance your relationship with her. May Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He) bless you with daughters who are the coolness of your eyes and carriers of inspiring legacy!

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV

To the Eyes that Weep,

Ramadan is almost over. It feels like it just flew by. Where did the time go?

Maybe you are sad because this holy month is coming to an end too soon. Perhaps you are heartbroken because you did not make the most of this blessed time. Either way, it is upsetting.  If only you had more days, more hours.

While most of us feel some sadness, we may also be overburdened with guilt. Another Ramadan has come by, and still no major changes in your life.

Ramadan is, of course, designed to be special; but it is special for a number of reasons: it is supposed to bring us to taqwa (God consciousness), to reflect on the Qur’an, to purify ourselves through fasting, to increase our worship, and to rectify our character.

The beautiful thing about Ramadan is that Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He) shows us what is possible – He reveals to us our potential. Even if you disappointed yourself, the Day of Judgment has not come yet, meaning it is not the end – you can still make up the shortcomings. As long as there is time, there is hope. So what prevents us from doing these things outside of Ramadan?

Remember that you can still worship Him. You can still be close to Him. God is there – with the same attributes – inside and outside of Ramadan. Do not define your relationship with Allah by your mistakes during this Holy month. If you do, you are the one moving away from Him, He did not push you away. As for God, He is al-Baqi – the Everlasting – and He remains. His attributes remain as they are.

The Lord whom you begged for mercy during Ramadan is the same Merciful Lord outside of Ramadan – indeed, “Your Lord has decreed upon Himself mercy.” (Qur’an, 6:54)

The Creator whom you pleaded to for forgiveness and pardon during this month – His forgiveness is open to you 365 days a year; He Himself says, “But indeed, I am the Perpetual Forgiver of whoever repents and believes and does righteousness and then continues in guidance.” (Qur’an, 20:82)

God, whom you expressed your fears and hopes to, whom you asked to give you the good of this world and the Hereafter – He tells you, “I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me.” (Qur’an, 2:186)

Whenever your guilty soul or satan want to trick you into thinking you are too far to be rectified, God Himself tells you, “I am near.” (Qur’an, 2:186) That is all you need to know, and that is all you need to remind yourself of when you feel far.

If you want to continue your good deeds or make up for your shortcomings, you can do that. You can follow Ramadan by fasting the six days of Shawwal, fasting twice a week (Mondays & Thursdays) or you can fast three times a month (the Bright Days). The Prophet ﷺ tells us, “Every servant of God who observes fast for a day in the way of God, Allah would remove his face farther from the Fire to the extent of seventy years’ distance.” (Muslim)

You can give charity any time of year. The Prophet ﷺ said: “None gives charity from what is good, for Allah only accepts what is good, but that the Merciful takes it with His right hand. Even if it is a date, it is nurtured in the hand of the Merciful until it becomes greater than a mountain, just as one of you nurtures his young horse or camel.” (Muslim)

You can volunteer. The Prophet ﷺ said, “Allah will aid a servant [of His] so long as the servant aids his brother.” (Muslim)

You can wake up for qiyaam (the night prayer), even if you only do it on the weekends or even once a month. The Prophet ﷺ said, “The best prayer after the obligatory prayers is the night prayer.” (Muslim)

You can make it a point to help to uplift people. The Prophet ﷺ said, “The most beloved of deeds according to Allah the Mighty, the Magnificent, is that you bring happiness to a fellow Muslim.” (Tabarani)

And you know what? If you do these things, you will find that by next Ramadan insha’Allah (God willing), your heart will already be softer, ready to soak up the blessings of the month. So intend to continue to do good after Eid, and make a plan for that. It is easy to slip back into bad habits, so follow up your intentions with concrete actions.

And if your heart is still broken by the last iftar (meal of breaking fast) of this month, turn to Him. Make time before you break your fast to be alone with Him and pour out your heart and soul to God. Tell Him all of your hopes for this month, and how you feel about not having been able to fulfill them. Express to Him your fears about coming out of Ramadan and losing that connection with Him. Talk to Allah. He hears you, at every second of every day.

And as long as you still breathe, you can turn back to Him and make the most of wherever you find yourself. It could be that you are accepted because of your sincere worship in one of these remaining days. Do not let your connection to God stop at Ramadan – let your connection be to the Lord of Ramadan.

Sincerely,

From eyes that weep remorse

(And find hope even after Ramadan)