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Questions about your personal conversion experience may come in many forms: “So, what’s your story?”; “Why did you convert?”; and “…can I ask you a question?” These among many others provide a cue for you to share your own story of conversion.

As converts (aka, reverts), we are asked to tell and re-tell the story of our journey to Islam. Not only is this task often fatiguing, but it can also be difficult to pinpoint what factors were most significant in our decisions to convert. When I recount the story of my own conversion, I recognize that I relay different aspects of the same story depending on my audience and the time allotted (i.e., the short version or the long version). But what story do we tell when others are not around—what really matters?

My personal journey to shahadah (testimony of faith) was long and a bit complicated, with multiple factors contributing to my choice to convert. Following this complex experience, I find that connecting with my original motivations for converting helps me to remember the reasons I originally fell in love with Islam, restoring my faith if I ever feel overwhelmed by my life as a convert.

When listening to others who have embraced Islam recount their stories of conversion, I have observed many similarities as well as vast differences. My passion for scientific inquiry coupled with my desire to help others through my clinical psychology skills inspired me to further explore this topic. As a scientist, these differences fascinate me. As a clinician, I want to help people tell their stories in a way that can be therapeutic.

In order to gather more information more about this topic, I am further developing a conversion questionnaire that can potentially be used by mental health professionals (e.g., counselors, psychologists, social workers) who work with converts. I am hopeful that this questionnaire will be a tool for converts to gain insight into their own motivations for converting as well as help mental health professionals better understand the Muslim conversion experience. When used in a clinical setting, I believe that this questionnaire can assist a convert in understanding their reasons for converting while also serving as a clinical tool for his or her therapist so that this topic can be adequately addressed in therapy, if necessary.

As a part of this project, I would like to invite converts over the age of 18 from the United States to participate in this online study. The questionnaire will likely take approximately 15 minutes to complete. There are no known risks to participating in this research study. Participation will, however, likely add to the scientific understanding of why individuals convert to Islam and may benefit Muslim converts seeking psychotherapy. All data will be collected anonymously and answers cannot be linked to individuals, email addresses, or IP addresses. Participants will have the opportunity to enter a drawing for a $50 Amazon.com gift card at the end of the study when they will be asked to provide their email address through a separate link (solely so the winner may receive the gift card). More detailed information about the study will be provided through the study’s website (see link below).

Link to the Survey: https://xavier.co1.qualtrics.com/SE/?SID=SV_0e4SVDpNAacqNP7

Video Description of Study:

This doctoral dissertation is being conducted under the supervision of Dr. John J. Barrett. If you have any questions please feel free to contact Holly Ait Taouit, M.A. or John J. Barrett, Ph.D. Questions about the rights of research participants should be directed to Xavier University’s Institutional Review Board.

Holly Ait Taouit is a psychologist-in-training and convert to Islam. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology and Sociology, a Master’s Degree in Psychology, and is currently a doctoral candidate in Clinical Psychology at Xavier University. She converted to Islam in September of 2011 during her graduate studies and has had a long-vested interest in religion and spirituality. Her clinical interests include geropsychology, health psychology, psychology in primary care, and the integration of spirituality and mental health. She is currently completing her clinical internship and intends to graduate with her Doctor of Psychology (Psy.D.) degree in May of 2016.

By Mariam Ahmed

Photo: Martin Gommel

During any life experience, there are lessons learned and ways to take those lessons and turn them into a positive change in your life. After a divorce, you may find yourself reevaluating your entire relationship as far back to the first time you met or spoke to your former spouse. You will probably try to figure out where things went wrong, what you could have done better or differently, and why this is happening to you. Rest assured that all of these feelings are normal. Try not to be too hard on yourself. It is normal to feel guilt, regret, and even anger, but as long as you take each and every one of those sentiments and turn them into something positive, this will help you move forward to your better and healthier self.

Below is a list of reading recommendations; books I came across that have helped me personally through my journey of going through a divorce.

1. The Qur’an: Remember in Islamic School when your teacher would ask the class what their favorite book was? More than half the students would say “the Qur’an” and you would roll your eyes thinking, “Oh, how original.” Well guess what, your favorite book is going to become the Qur’an, if it is not already. The Qur’an is your go-to book. The gems you will take away from each read will become more and more valuable during your journey, navigating through the emotions and the ups and downs of this experience. And my favorite lesson of all is that no matter how big your hardship may seem, Allah’s subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He) mercy and graciousness are much bigger.
2. The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman: I appreciate this book a lot, because it allows you to recognize that each and every one of us expresses our love in different ways. Five love languages are explored and the way in which we expect to be loved and to give love are discussed. This might be a difficult read because you may wish you applied some of the lessons from the book to your own marriage, but just know that, insha’Allah, you will be able to apply them to your next. A healthier and happier marriage due to the many lessons learned.
3. Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happed To You by Susan J. Elliott JD MEd: This is a great book and reference throughout your entire divorce and healing process. This book is an instructional guide of what to do and not to do during a breakup. I would find myself sitting in a park with a huge smile on my face because I realized that I was not alone in so many of the feelings and struggles I was going through. I particularly appreciate that this book teaches you to not be so hard on yourself, but to learn to love yourself and move forward to a much better you.
4. Reclaim Your Heart by Yasmin Mogahed: A great book to put things into perspective. Ustdha Yasmin truly nails it in this book as she describes the importance of our relationship with Allah (swt) and our struggle to rid our hearts of worldly things. And yes, even the people we love are considered worldly things. This is something most struggle with, but learning to turn to Allah (swt) at all times and to let your relationship with Him fill the void will arm you against disappointment when things do not go the way you expected.

What are some of your go-to books to help you get through this difficult time?

I leave you with a quote from Sheikh Omar Suleiman.

“Wake up knowing that Allah is greater than any obstacle you may face today.”

By Marwa Abdalla

I remember the last time it happened to me. I was driving my daughter to preschool, something I do several times a week. Traffic was heavy and I was preoccupied. Deep in thought, I drove amidst the hundreds of cars on the highway and suddenly, or maybe it was after several minutes, I realized that the exit I was supposed to have taken was miles behind me and I was merging onto another freeway altogether. Panic struck me for a moment as I took the next exit, unfamiliar road signs all around. How had I missed the exit that I was so used to taking? What had distracted me for so long? And now, how long was it going to take me to reroute and ultimately reach my destination?

Distractions on Our Journey

In life, we are all on a journey. We know the ultimate destination we are trying to reach is jannah (Paradise) and Allah subhanahu wa ta`la (exalted is He) has clearly laid out the route we are supposed to take. However, dunya (the worldly life) is distracting. Like me on the road that day, we sometimes miss an important exit or forget to make a crucial turn and get thrown off our spiritual route. In my own life and in working with others, I’ve found that we can usually tell when we’re in unfamiliar territory. But even though we know that Allah (swt) has laid out the guidance in the Qur’an and Sunnah (tradition of the Prophet ﷺ, peace be upon him), we sometimes simply don’t know where to begin. This article lays out an easy to remember acronym, P.R.A.Y., that serves like a series of road signs to not only help us in our day to day journey to Allah, but also get us back on track when we feel the need to re-route ourselves spiritually. I hope it is beneficial insha’Allah (God willing).

P is for Prayer

The P in the acronym PRAY stands, creatively enough, for prayer. The first thing we should check when we feel that our spirituality is not on track (after our belief in the Oneness of God) is our prayer. I ask myself the following questions: How is my prayer? Am I praying on time? How is my focus and concentration (khushu) when I pray? What can I do to improve my concentration? Am I praying the sunnah prayers and other nawafil (extra prayers) like the duha and witr prayers? I try to see where the gaps are and begin filling them one by one. I also try to rekindle the feeling inside of me that in each rakah (unit of prayer), I am connecting with Allah (swt). I realize my shortcomings and ask for help getting back on His path.

R is for Read

The R in the acronym PRAY stands for read. I am a native English speaker. I read almost anything in English and understand it alhamdulilLah (praise be to God). Now even though I’m familiar with all the alphabetical characters that make up the French language, I would likely never pick up a book in French and read it just phonetically in hopes of understanding anything. However, for a long time, I did just that with the Qur’an. I come from an Arabic-speaking family and have studied tajweed and so I always have read the Qur’an in Arabic simply because I could and because I thought this was somehow better. Even though I understood only fragments of what I read, I persisted, looking only to translation if I absolutely had no idea what an ayah (verse) was saying. Recently, however, I read an article called “Ten Tips on Becoming One of Allah’s Special People” on how to better connect with the Qur’an and realized I had to change.  I began reading the Qur’an in English. Not one verse in Arabic and then one in English. I read entire parts (ajza’) in English.  This was such a huge breakthrough for me; I understood so much more without interruption. Lest I be misunderstood, studying Arabic and reading the Qur’an in Arabic is of great importance. However, the Qur’an is meant to be our source of guidance. So in addition to the Arabic, we must also regularly read it in a language that helps us understand that guidance.

A is for Ask Allah first

The A in the acronym PRAY stands for Ask Allah (swt) first. We live in a society that praises the independent individual, the “do-it-yourself-and-pick-yourself-up-from-your-bootstraps-if-you-fall” type who relies on him or herself only. Too often, we as Muslims fall prey to this mentality. We try to do everything on our own, initially relying solely on ourselves and only when in dire need do we ask for the help of other people to help us through any given problem.

But we must examine: how often do we ask Allah (swt) and rely on Him first? All success and provision are from Allah yet many of us only turn to Him (swt) and make du`a’ (supplication) about something after we feel we have exhausted all other resources. This is especially true in times when we are distracted by the dunya and feel disconnected from Allah. How different would our lives be if, like the Prophet ﷺ (peace be upon him), we began by asking Allah (swt) first before relying on ourselves and others? If before trying to do the job myself, I make du`a’, pray two rak`ahs and really put all my trust and tawwakul (reliance) in Allah (swt) to help me in my endeavor, how much calmer I am! How much easier does the task at hand become! The emphasis is really not just on asking Allah (swt), but beginning with Him, making du`a’, praying, and remembering Him first, before we ask others and before we depend on ourselves.

Y is for Yourself (and your Self)

The Y in the acronym PRAY stands for Yourself. This road sign is to remind us that we must take time by ourselves to reflect on our actions, purify our intentions, and repent for those things that we may have done incorrectly. This isolation is a very useful practice because it allows us to shut out the noise of the dunya and assess our actions and intentions. This road sign can also be read “your Self,” reminding us to engage in a process of disciplining and purifying our nafs (inner self), the source in us of base desires and whims that can often get in the way of our knowledge and correct worship of Allah (swt).

Each of these headings could be expanded at length and we should do all we can to learn more about these areas. However, I hope that in the midst of the busy pace of dunya we can use this relatively simple acronym as a starting place and insha’Allah stay better focused on our real journey to the best of all destinations, jannah.

By Syed Hanzala Rahman

It was 2:30 PM when we reached Bandra Terminus, Mumbai. Fifteen minutes back, we had come to know that our ticket to New Delhi (19 hours away) had not been confirmed, which meant that we would have to look for new tickets. There were three of us, about to leave for Delhi after a successful trip winning a National-level Competition. We were extremely confident that we would get the tickets.

“Money can get us anything. If you have money in your pocket, you do not need to fear. Don’t worry, we will get to Delhi comfortably,”, said one of our friends, as we all smiled and nodded in approval. Suddenly, a travel agent appeared and he said that he would get us the tickets, but for that he will charge extra money. After some haggling, we ended up paying three times the amount for the tickets and got two separate tickets – our seats were confirmed only up to Surat, four hours away from Mumbai. However, the agent said that at Surat, the tickets will be confirmed in the same train, and we need not worry.

We boarded the train, and adjusted our luggage. The occupancy in the train was pretty low, and we sat comfortably, chit-chatting about whatever happened in the last two days in our Mumbai Trip. The Ticket Examiner came and asked for the ticket, and we told him the story. To our surprise, he said that we will not get any confirmed seat after Surat as seats were not only booked, but were also heavily wait-listed. He said that the agents at the Railway station always paint a rosy picture, and that nothing could be done. It came as a shock to us. We were duped. Surat was still two hours away, and we had started to worry as to what our journey would be like once we crossed Surat. We would either be asked to sit on the floor, or forced to leave the train.

We sat thinking about what to do next, when a sudden thought came to mind. Allah subahanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He) says in the Qur’an:

“If Allah helps you none can overcome you, and if He forsakes you, who is there, after Him, that can help you.” (Qur’an, 3:160)

This verse so manifested itself at that point, and the fact that no amount of money can bring you comfort unless Allah (swt) wills became extremely evident. I felt guilty, as for a moment, I had believed that money would get me what I needed.

This verse however continues with the following:

“And in Allah (alone) let believers put their trust.” (Quran, 3:160)

And so I believed that Allah would take me out of this trouble. It was time for Asr, and then for Maghrib, and I offered my Salah (prayer). Thirty minutes now remained to reach Surat. I was getting edgy, although I believed that Allah (swt) would help us. Time quickly passed, and Surat arrived. Looking out of the glass panes, I grew more anxious as there was a huge crowd waiting to board the train. Suddenly, a bearded man wearing a skull cap appeared. He held a big suitcase and stood in line to get down the train. Suddenly, he turned back and said in a loud, yet pleasant tone to someone in Urdu—“Mushkil ke baad raahat aati hai” (After hardship comes ease). The next moment, he was gone.

Yes. I had got it. That was the moment I was looking for. My friend looked at me and said, “What hardship, what ease?” I had understood. I smiled, and then forgot everything that bothered me. Ease is around the corner, I felt. Allah says:

“For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.”(Quran, 94:6)

Just two minutes had passed that people started boarding the train. We found ourselves in a mess, as our seats had been occupied and we had been asked to stand up. But, now I was absolutely calm and I knew ease was near. As we started to move towards the next compartment, I saw a place where I could fit my suitcase in. It was a big suitcase and required a lot of space. There were six people sitting in that compartment, and when I asked them about the vacant space, they happily allowed me to fit my suitcase there. Not only that, they gave us places to sit, and we gratefully accepted their offer. Ease was here.

After some time had passed, I started feeling hungry and ordered food for myself. The food arrived, but the seat I was in wasn’t big enough. I stood up and asked a person for his vacant berth, and he too offered it to me without any hesitation. Ease, again. I rested on that berth for about two hours until he politely asked me to vacate, as he had to go to sleep. It was 10 PM and slowly people were getting their berths ready for sleep. I was continuously praying that we get a respectable place where we could at least sit, if not take a nap. We chatted with our co-passengers, telling them about the course we are pursuing, and out of nowhere, we found that one of them had booked three berths, but his child started to insist to sleep with her mother. This meant that he had an extra berth which was of no use for him. He gave us the berth and eventually, we slept till the morning with very little difficulty. Although it was not the most comfortable journey, we were saved from the disgrace of moving out of the coach or sleeping on the floor. By 5am, all three of us had got separate places to sleep. Allah (swt) says:

“Whoever fears Allah, Allah will find a way out for him (from every difficulty) and He will provide for him from sources that he could never have imagined.” (Quran 65:2-3)

We just cannot imagine, or put to words how Allah’s system works. He has His own ways, His own plans by which He helps us and teaches us that no matter what we do, we will never be successful in our endeavor if we do not have His support. He is the ONLY Sustainer, and the ONLY Helper.

Hundreds of train journeys like this happen every day, and thousands of people face similar situations, but what is important for us is that we try to understand the deeper meanings behind these Signs that Allah (swt) puts forward.

“And these examples We (Allah) put forward for mankind, but none will understand them except those who have knowledge (of Allah and His Signs, etc.)” (Quran, 29:43) 

“And these days [of varying conditions] We alternate among the people” (Qur’an 3:140)

If we think back to the deep truth conveyed in this verse we will find that this is indeed a reality that we experience daily. Allah (swt) tells us that, throughout our lives, we will always experience circumstances that will challenge us, change us, and cause us to reflect upon our response to each. With the justice of Allah (swt), these conditions alternate among mankind so that no one person experiences constant happiness while another experiences constant hardship or sadness.

For a believer, it is even more imperative to be aware of these alternating conditions in life and to have a proper attitude towards them so we can derive benefit from every situation and aim to please Allah (swt) through them. So what behavior should a submitter to Allah (swt) hold through this ever-changing life?

“Have you not considered how Allah presents an example, [making] a good word like a good tree, whose root is firmly fixed and its branches [high] in the sky? It produces its fruit all the time, by permission of its Lord. And Allah presents examples for the people that perhaps they will be reminded.” (Qur’an 14:24-5)

Allah (swt) presents an example of the ‘good word’, which is the statement of faith (‘There is none worthy of worship except Allah, and Muhammad ﷺ (peace be upon him) is His Messenger’) that it is like a ‘good tree’ which has certain qualities. According to many of the scholars of tafseer (exegesis), the ‘good tree’ with its specific qualities is a reference to the believer who affirms the statement of faith. Narrated Ibn `Umar that the Prophet ﷺ said, “There is a tree among the trees which is similar to a Muslim (in goodness), and that is the date palm tree.” [Bukhari]

Allah (swt) informs us that this tree is not ordinary; rather it is a strong, firm tree whose roots extend deep into the Earth. Likewise, the believer needs to work to have his ‘roots’ deeply and firmly established by having a strong connection with Allah (swt). Salah (the 5 daily prayers), recitation and pondering upon the Qur’an, and seeking guidance in the seerah (story) of the Prophet ﷺ  are excellent ways to establish and strengthen our roots. The branches of this tree are described as being really high, as if they’re reaching far into the sky. One of the benefits of the branches is that it provides shade to those under it, and to the believer.

In addition, a tree that has the aforementioned qualities has to be mature, having gone through the process of growing up to reach such a height, strength, and firmness of foundation. And such is the believer—he does not have super strong imaan overnight. He goes through the process of growing his imaan (faith) and little by little it eventually strengthens. As the tree requires constant rain fall to grow and mature, the believer requires constant ‘watering’ of his heart to cultivate the growth and strengthening of imaan. As the tree can only grow with pure water, such is the heart of the believer which demands pure substances to penetrate it for proper nourishment.

Lastly, this tree is not dry without any benefit, as Allah (swt) says that it constantly produces fruits and benefits its environment regardless of the weather or season and it does so by the permission of its Lord. Likewise the believer who establishes his roots and matures in his imaan becomes a source of benefit at all times to those around him. The tree gives its fruits consistently – in rain or shine, wind or thunder, summer or winter. It is steadfast and patient through all the different seasons and situations it encounters throughout its life due to the qualities it has acquired and embellished. This is what the believer aims to do as well, to remain connected to Allah (swt) throughout the seasons of life.

Connecting back to how our lives are constantly experiencing changes, we can now answer the initial question: what behavior should a submitter to Allah (swt) hold through this ever-changing life?  He must hold firm in his roots and stand tall, he must constantly seek to water his heart with what is pure in order to strengthen his roots and soul, and he must finally aim to be of constant benefit to his environment and to those around him. If we aim to instill these qualities within ourselves, the constant changes within our lives will cease to be a source of distress; rather they will transform into sources of strength and will define us and in turn become causes of closeness to Allah (swt). As the Messenger ﷺ  said, ‘Strange are the ways of a believer for there is good in every affair of his and this is not the case with anyone else except in the case of a believer for if he has an occasion to feel delight, he thanks (God), thus there is a good for him in it, and if he gets into trouble and shows resignation (and endures it patiently), there is a good for him in it.’ [Muslim]

Hajji [‘haj-jee] (col.) noun  1. someone who performs the act of Hajj (Pilgrimage). 2. a title given to someone who survived Hajj

Introduction

Welcome, prospective Hajji, to a unique journey. This journey is an invitation from your Lord to visit His House and engage in one of the most illustrious acts of worship. He picked you out of millions of people to travel across the world and ask for forgiveness in the best place on Earth. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to work on making your Hajj accepted by Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala (exalted is He). This means that you fulfill all the requirements and avoid all the actions that nullify Hajj such that you come back home purified from all sins.

You’ve heard it before: Hajj is a beautiful journey.  But this journey is a struggle. It is said the greatest physical struggle for a woman is to complete Hajj. Like any journey, being prepared in advance will help to maximize the experience and to deal with challenges. I compiled advice from different friends and experienced hajj veterans to help future Hajjis prepare physically, mentally and spiritually.

Hajj stories are very diverse—some have scary stories (don’t ask too much about the bathroom situation) while others have some hilarious moments or a few depressing encounters.  Understand that every Hajj experience is different but the goal is the same. Please keep in mind that you will get advice from different people who have different goals and values. Take what you feel matches your own values. For instance: I like to prepare for things as much as I can in advance—therefore I will buy all the things I need in the U.S. instead of hunting down things last minute in Makkah/Madina. I also dislike waste and like to economize—so I prefer taking a few used items from family/friends instead of buying everything new. I also like to give away non-essential items to needy people in Mina. I prefer to use natural medicines before going to regular meds, however I made an exception during Hajj in order to minimize risks and because Hajj requires a lot of energy.

Overall, a balanced approach and positive attitude will be your best friends during this trip. The ingredients of a successful Hajj are preparation before the journey, extra patience during the trip, and sincere effort towards improving yourself after the journey.  As you keep the following steps in mind, remember to continuously ask Allah (swt) to help you in the journey.  He can make the difficult easy and without His help we are lost.

Step 1: Physical Prep

1. Get in shape. You will walk, walk and walk some more. Some people recommend walking regularly in the weeks before Hajj to build endurance.
2. Boost your immunity. Travelling from the U.S. takes a huge toll: long plane rides, layovers, and a wait anywhere from 2 – 12hrs at the Jeddah airport. So indulge in fruits and veggies while in the U.S., especially those rich in antioxidants. Stay away from sick people as best as you can during the trip. One friend started taking a teaspoon of honey regularly in her tea. A few people wore a surgeon’s mask throughout the trip. Although it may seem mean, don’t share your water bottles or share prayer mats. You might still get sick, but take whatever precautions you can.
3. Pace yourself upon arrival. Try to balance between resting and making the most of your time in Makkah and Madina. You don’t want to wear yourself out before going to Mina, but at the same time you want to earn good deeds in the first 10 days of Dhul Hijjah.
4. Preventive care. Take medicine as soon as you feel sick, but avoid taking antibiotics unless or until you have been diagnosed with a bacterial infection. Ricola cough drops are excellent. It is a good idea to take several packs because people will ask you for some. Everyone gets the ‘Hajj cough’. Use lemon, honey, orange juice, etc. Take Vitamin C supplements regularly during the trip—don’t wait till you get sick to start this!
5. Gather your supplies. Make a list before travelling so that you don’t forget anything. Make a specific list for the days of Hajj before you leave for Mina (i.e. stuff you will pack in your backpack)
6. Take your ‘worship tools’ to use during the waiting time. A lot of times people find themselves without anything to do during the long stretches. Come prepared with a Qur`an, seerah (biography of the Prophet ﷺ, peace be upon him) book, or dhikr (remembrance/prayer) beads.
7. Write down a few du`a (supplications) for yourself that you can memorize or repeat frequently. Sometimes you will be too tired to remember so keep a small notebook on hand. Also, you can write down some notes or reflections that will help preserve the experience. 
8. Stay energized. You need to keep hydrated—drink Zamzam (water from the well of Zamzam in Mecca) but also take snacks and energy bars. Some programs do not serve lunch so healthy snacks will help hold you till dinner. If you don’t like the food at the hotel, don’t complain. There are plenty of places to eat at the malls and hotels. Avoid anything that doesn’t seem clean and anything that you know makes your stomach upset.

Step 2: Mental Prep

1. Know the requirements of performing Hajj. You don’t want to waste this trip by missing something important. Attend the workshops in your area and/or read a book. Then review the information before you get to Mina. As a first time Hajji it’s natural to be unfamiliar with the rites, so ask scholars in the group.
2. Know what to expect and set the expectations. Hajj is the journey of a lifetime; but at the same time you might face things that are upsetting. Sadly, I encountered a lot of trash and garbage thrown all over the place in Mina. The bathroom situation is another story. Expect squatter toilets and learn to use them. If used correctly it can be sanitary and easier to use then regular toilets.
3. Strategize. A few tricks will help you maximize your time. For example, when going to pray at the rawdah in the Prophet’s masjid there are designated times for women. Head towards the rawdah area towards the end of the time allotted and try to be in the last group praying. You won’t feel as hassled because there is nobody coming behind you. Also, there are air-conditioned areas in the Haram (area around the Ka`bah) in Makkah on the first and second floor (enter through King Fahd entrance and stay on the left). Plan on praying/sitting there during the hottest part of the day. Since the time between Maghrib (post-sunset prayer) and `Isha (night prayer) is short, it’s a good idea to stay at the Haram between those prayers. That way you won’t struggle for a spot inside. One local student gave us this awesome tip: Make sa’i (the walk between the hills of Safa and Marwa) on the 4th floor roof extension area, which is usually empty and has a wonderful view during Fajr (pre-dawn prayer) time.
4. Don’t be cheap. You will see a lot of the poor and the elderly.  Help them as much as you can and be generous. Don’t haggle with store keepers over small amounts. At the same time be cautious of theft and being ripped off by taxi drivers. As in any big city there are opportunists, so be cautious of your money and personal items. Keep your shoes in a plastic bag with you at all times. Side point: don’t take a camera or camera phone into the Prophet’s masjid (for women, there are female guards who will frisk you before letting you in).
5. Get in the right mindset by surrendering yourself to Allah (swt). You are going on Hajj, which is not a vacation in a 4 star hotel. You will be tested in different ways so remind yourself to be patient and not to complain. You are invited as Allah’s guests so use the correct manners that a guest should have. As a bonus, try to catch yourself before reacting negatively to a test by acknowledging that that what is making you upset is the test.
6. Remember why you are here: to complete Hajj and go back home. You are not here to change the Saudi government or fix the ignorance of the ummah (community). You are not here to argue with different people about who is right and wrong. You might need to develop a mantra or phrase to remind yourself. A few people would remind themselves saying, “La jidaal,” or “No arguing,” if they started to get annoyed with a spouse, family member, or random uncle in the group.
7. Don’t compare your group to other groups. It’s very easy to get caught up in what other people ate or what their tents were like. Avoid going down that road and remind yourself that everyone’s test will be different and no one has a problem-free Hajj. Focus on yourself, make incessant talbiyah [Labbayk Allahuma labbayk—I respond to Your call O Allah, I respond to Your call], and embody your submission to Allah (swt).
8. Minimize the distractions. This is one of the biggest struggles. There is a lot going on and sometimes it will be hard to focus. Try to set goals for yourself before the trip so you know what to work on. I saw many people complete the Qur`an in a few short weeks. Plan on getting to the Haram extra early if you want to pray inside.
9. Avoid getting into debates about different opinions and madhabs (schools of thought). Decide on what you are going to follow beforehand and don’t get confused when people tell you that your Hajj won’t be accepted. People find themselves waiting a lot and start to discuss these issues that end up creating confusion or hostility. Follow your group leader who is experienced and let others follow their leaders.
10. Stick together and find an experienced person to follow. This may seem obvious but a buddy system will help prevent you from getting lost. An experienced Hajji is full of tips and will make some of the rites easier to perform (such as the best time to throw stones and which area is easier to start from).
11. Keep calm with your roommates and carry on. If you are sharing a room with other people in Makkah or Madina take some earplugs or eye covers to help you get rest.  You might be paired with a roommate that can be a test for you—just try to take things in stride and avoid getting upset or frustrated with the person. If you are annoyed, try to do nice things for the person and make du`a’ for that person and yourself.
12. Use the full day of Arafah for worship—not just the time after Asr (late afternoon prayer). Many people fall into this trap and spend time sitting, eating and talking on the most important day of Hajj and only start making du`a’ after `Asr. Separate yourself from people and focus on seeking forgiveness. The Prophet ﷺ  used to make du`a’ the entire day and intensified the supplication after `Asr. The same thing applies after Arafah when people revert to their old habits and lose focus while they are still on Hajj! Continue to keep yourself busy with reading, remembrance, and extra worship. Side point: plan to avoid the bathrooms at Muzdalifah.  Eat/drink accordingly and use the bathrooms in Arafah before getting on the bus to Muzdalifah.
13. An experienced Hajji advised: “Treat tawaf (walking 7 times around the Ka`bah) like prayer and strive for khushoo’ [concentration].” The virtue of tawaf is well known: it is recommended to perform tawaf in the Haram before praying 2 rakahs (units of prayer) as the ‘greeting’ of the masjid! One idea is to pick different du`a’ or prayers for each round, or to pick the first round for seeking forgiveness, the second round for making du`a’ for the community, etc. Performing tawaf can be a struggle given all the distractions. Try to avoid congested areas and the 2^nd floor wheelchair drivers (who go fast and end up hitting peoples’ ankles).  One recommendation is to avoid the first and second floor and only make tawaf and sa’i on the relatively un-crowded rooftop.
14. Ask Allah for help. This advice was given by an elderly woman sitting in the Prophet’s ﷺ masjid. She said to always start your actions by asking Allah (swt) to help you. Allah (swt) can make anything happen—all we need to do is ask.

Step 3: Spiritual Prep

This important aspect tends to be ignored since many people focus on the external actions of Hajj and then focus on trying to survive the trip. If you make this a priority ahead of time by taking a few steps to prepare then the struggle can be spiritually uplifting and rewarding.

1. Read the Inner Dimensions of Hajj notes based on a lecture by Shaykh Mokthar Maghraoui ahead of time to get in the proper spiritual frame of mind. The Shaykh describes the Hajj rites from a different perspective—beyond the walking and waiting, Hajj is an intense act of worship that has spiritual significance. Hajj is not just a physical journey but a surrendering of the heart to Allah (swt) with absolute submission. You will give up everyday comforts (even personal hygiene!) for a few short days as you purify the soul.  Print the articles out and share with roommates.
2. Evaluate yourself before leaving for Hajj. Really take yourself to account. As one experienced Hajji stated, “Look at your personal weaknesses and flaws. Make tawbah (repentance) for all the sins you are committing and all the weaknesses you have. Do not go to Hajj with the intention of continuing on any known sin when you return.  Your intention needs to be that you will discontinue it and fight it.  This is very important. Hajj is not something a person does many times—so make sure you receive the full reward for completing it.  Do not risk an unaccepted Hajj.” She also emphasized, “Don’t let the spirit of the group affect your spirit. If people on the bus are talking and socializing and you feel like doing the talbiyah then go ahead and start instead of wondering why others aren’t.”
3. Keep good companionship during the trip. I was blessed to have good friends as roommates during my journey. You might observe different types of people in your group: the complainers, the chit-chatters, the Debby-downers, etc. If you feel distracted then keep to yourself since you don’t want the negativity to rub off and affect your experience. Make a pact with yourself that you will come back from Hajj and keep the complaints to yourself. There might be things that you don’t like but you will hold those complaints in your heart and share constructive criticism with the group organizer. Good friends will remind you and support you in this goal. Optimism is contagious!

Conclusion

Even as you prepare for the journey of a lifetime, keep in mind that unexpected events will probably occur. Every year is different and every person’s experience is different. Savor the new experiences and focus on the positives. Yes, you will see strange and rude actions and plenty of ignorance. But you will also see grown men shed tears while gazing at the House of Allah (swt) and pleading for mercy and forgiveness. You will see millions of people unite from all corners of the world for one purpose alone: to fulfill the obligation of Hajj and surrender before their Creator. Reflecting on these facts creates a deep respect for our religion. How amazing is the call to prayer which transforms the chaotic amblings of millions of people into perfectly circular lines within the span of a few minutes? How amazing is our faith that pushes people to struggle and give up basic comforts because of a sincere desire to please their Lord? Revel in the voices chanting in unison, marching onward with a single hope, and with a bond that overcomes all walks of life. Witness the power of submission and obedience and how it transforms tired pilgrims into an army of the faithful.

Lastly, as one Hajji said, “Always keep in mind that Hajj is a test. You can prepare yourself as much as possible but nothing [completely] prepares you for the reality of the experience. You will experience highs and lows. There will be moments of great awe as well as moments of great frustration. Pack a bag of patience!”

Although Hajj is deemed as the journey of a lifetime, for many it will be a turning point and the beginning of the journey back to their faith.  For a few people, Hajj will be an ongoing journey as they come back home and try to implement lessons in patience, physical sacrifice, and complete submission. As one scholar advised, “Take your Hajj back home with you. Be in your life as you were on Hajj.”

May Allah bless your Hajj and accept all our good deeds. May Allah make things easy for you and allow you to come back safely.

If you found this advice beneficial, please feel free to share with others and make du`a’ for all the Hajj veterans who shared their experiences.

Hajj Travel Checklist

This is a list to take to Saudi. Everything is available there so don’t fret if you forget anything. A few things are specifically for rites of Hajj and should be packed when you go to Mina.

Medicines

• Prescription medicine
• Small amount of Advil and Tylenol
• Aleve (for muscle swelling or headaches)
• Small container of petroleum jelly (Vaseline)
• Cough drops (Riccola brand is great. Bring a lot. Cough drops with honey is a bonus.)
• Vitamin C (Tablets or powder such as Airborne)
• Bengay (or other muscle rub)
• Pepto-Bismol and/or Immodium
• Small travel-size First-Aid kit
• Unscented chapstick with SPF

Toiletries

• Shampoo/Soap/Deodorant/Sunscreen/Cream (to use while not in ihram [state of purity])
• Unscented soap
• Toothbrush
• Toothpaste
• Disposable razors/nail cutter/small scissors (pack in suitcase since they are not allowed on the plane)
• Several packs of tissues
• Miswaak (you can obtain in Saudi)
• Unscented antibacterial hand sanitizers (to use in ihram)
• Toliet paper (2 rolls)

Personal Items

• Ihram clothes
• Several pairs of thick socks (black)
• 1 cloth bag with shoulder strap (to place your small items when going to the Haram)
• Waist Pouch/Money Belt
• Slippers (Teva or Crocs or any other flip flops)
• Earplugs/eye cover (if you are a light sleeper)
• Extra pair of glasses
• Small Qur`an
• 7 beads on a string (to keep track of Tawaf/Sa’i)
• Pen/Pencil
• Notebook
• Prayer rug
• Towel (to use while living in apt buildings)
• One sheet or sleeping bag (old one that you can leave there)
• Backpack (to pack things for stay in Mina)
• Travel Alarm Clock/Watch
• A few zip lock bags
• DC/AC electric convertor (for any gadgets like camera/phone)

Books and Documents

• Hajj and Umrah Made Easy
• Salaat & Salaam
• Accepted Whispers
• Prayers for Forgiveness
• Inner Dimensions of Hajj (notes by Sh. Mokthar)
• Your personal du`a’ list
• Photocopy/picture of your passport page

Miscellaneous

• Lots of Energy/Protein/Granola bars/snacks (take some extra to share with roommates)

It’s an unparalleled experience that can never be captured through words; it rises with your soul to its origin in the heavens and humbles your body towards its earthly origin; it gives you glimpses of the Hereafter and reminds you of your ultimate purpose of existence; it’s none other than the greatest journey of Hajj. Allah subhanahu wa ta`āla (glorified and exalted is He) has beautifully designed this massive convention of believing hearts and souls with each of its steps having individual purposes as well as a collective, transformational effect. Perhaps those who discover most or even some of these intended objectives (maqāsid) and secrets of Hajj will be blessed by Allah (swt) with the most positive, meaningful and fruitful experience.

The Journey Begins

When you make the intention to dedicate this act of worship to none other than Allah (swt), and enter into the state of ihrām (consecration), you have officially begun the Hajj.

It’s through ihrām that Allah (swt) physically prepares you for the journey. If you’re used to spending your mornings choosing color-coordinated outfits, gelling and styling your hair, or drenching yourself with cologne or perfume before you leave the house, now won’t be the time or place for these things. If you spend hours putting on makeup and getting manicures and filing, buffing or polishing your nails, you’ll let these go for now too; it’s time to take your mind off your looks and purify and polish your heart instead.

You’ll be able to change your clothes and shower of course, but you’ll stay in your natural state—just as how your mother bore you. If you’re a brother, the seamless two white cloths you wrap yourself with remind you of your equality with the rest of Allah’s servants—even if you’re a big-shot doctor, engineer, lawyer, or businessman. You’ll also be reminded of how you’ll look when you’re alone in your grave, and all you’ll have is the state of your heart and the quality of your deeds. If you’re a sister, you’ll be wearing what covers your body and doesn’t make you stand out; you won’t be showing off your stylish hijābs and glamorous outfits, purses and shoes—because nobody will be paying attention.

Instead, you’ll be answering Allah’s call through the words of your spiritual forefather, Ibrahīm (peace be upon him), saying labbayk Allāhumma labbayk (Here I am at Your service, O Allah, here I am) with millions of other Muslims from around the globe! The surge of people answering this great call reminds you of the Day of Resurrection, when everyone rises from their scattered graves throughout the earth, and is drawn towards the meeting place with Allah: the Land of Assembly (ard al-maḥshar). This is when people will be fleeing from their own brothers, mothers, fathers, spouses and children because everyone will have their own burdens and sins to worry about. Here in Hajj, you’re running towards Allah as well, but with hope and longing for His mercy, forgiveness and pardon before it’s too late to lighten the burdens. As you repeat the talbiyah over and over, the anticipation builds up and your heart begins yearning to see the Ka`bah and be with Allah in His blessed House.

The Spiritual Nucleus

You enter the doors of the Sacred Mosque, and as soon as you see the Ka`bah, its grandeur overtakes you and your eyes immediately fill with tears. This is the structure you’ve been praying towards all your life, and that you’ve seen as a small cube on TV or in pictures. But now it’s real; it towers above you with an overwhelming presence, sending shivers down your body. As you get closer to the Ka`bah and start performing ṭawāf and making dhikr, you can’t help but feel this magnetic attraction to the Ka`bah. It’s as if you and everyone else are these tightly bound electrons gravitating towards a massively charged spiritual nucleus, in one giant molecular body of Allah’s servant-worshippers. With the ṭawāf in motion, you feel that you’re officially in sync with the rest of creation as it glorifies Allah—from the smallest atoms on earth, to the sun-orbiting planets in the solar system, to the angels encircling Allah’s throne in the heavens directly above.

As you catch a glimpse of those around you, you see so many deep in personal conversation with Allah, begging Him and imploring Him to forgive them, answer their prayers and relieve their worries. Their heads are humbly lowered; their hands raised up like beggars, and tears streaming down their cheeks. You think to yourself: who am I amongst all these people? I may be known back home amongst family, friends, co-workers, or community members; I may have been popular in school or I may give khutbahs, speak before hundreds and hold various leadership positions—but here I’m this tiny, unknown speck trying to gain Allah’s mercy and forgiveness like millions of others. Seeing others exhibit such humble devotion crushes any arrogance or conceit you may have unconsciously harbored before. Your feeling of insignificance and lowliness in this sacred place also makes you realize how much you’ve fallen short in worshipping Allah, but also how blessed you are to have the chance to rekindle an intimate relationship with your Master and Loving Creator.

A Walk of All Times

If you’re used to living a sedentary lifestyle, or letting studies and deskwork eclipse your un-actualized plans to stay fit, the sa`y between Safa and Marwa remind you that it’s time to shape up! It’s refreshing to notice the brothers of the Ummah—the young and old, frail and strong—infused with energy as they jog and follow the footsteps of our beloved Hājar (as). As you do dhikr and reflect upon Hājar’s worried state, you think of her dedication and commitment to find what she was searching for. She went back and forth—not once or twice—but seven times! Hājar was on a mission, and she walked the walk rather than moping, complaining and giving up. Allah blessed her and her son with Zamzam water because she worked for it, just like He blessed Maryam (as) with sustenance after giving birth to `Isa (as) because she shook the palm tree like He told her to.

With these examples, you think to yourself: what’s my drive and mission in life? What am I doing active sa`y towards? What am I so passionate about that occupies my mind and keeps me awake at night? Is it trying to win the heart of a nice-looking girl, or is it making a wealthy, handsome guy fall in love with me? Is it the “baller” car I’m planning to buy or the latest gadget in the market I have to have? What are my higher aspirations for my dīn, my community, my Ummah and my ākhirah? Allah (swt) says: “Race toward forgiveness from your Lord and a Garden whose width is like the width of the heavens and earth, prepared for those who believed in Allah and His messengers” (Qur’an, 57:21). Am I at the forefront of this race or am I trailing behind? What’s holding me back, and how do I become one of the forerunners closest to Allah (as-sabiqūn al-muqarrabūn – Qur’an, 56:10-11)? You end the sa`y with renewed energy, personal commitment and desire to please Allah (swt) at unprecedented levels.

Spiritual Heights

The first part of the Hajj has been building up to this spiritual climax. It’s the 9^th of Dhu’l-Hijjah, when you and all the other pilgrims have to be on `Arafah. It’s one of the essential pillars of Hajj, and if you’re not present here today, your entire pilgrimage is nullified. Why is that so? You’ve come all the way over here for Allah (swt)—leaving your country and loved ones and treading this long journey—so now Allah wants you to be part of those He showers with His blessings on this special day. Ṭalha ibn `Ubayd-illah reported that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “On no other day [other than the day of Badr] does Satan feel so belittled, humiliated, and angry as he does on the Day of `Arafah. This is because of the mercy of Allah that descends, and the forgiveness He grants to people…” (Al-Bayhaqi)

Knowing this day’s status and its shortness makes you not waste it sleeping, relaxing or chit-chatting with others. Instead, you spend most of it alone (in khalwa) with Allah, asking of His blessings; begging Your Creator, al-Rahīm al-Wadūd (the Especially Merciful, the Loving) to accept you, protect you, forgive you and love you. This is the time when you place your heart and soul in the hands of Allah; you become oblivious of your surroundings, and let out all your worries and fears, hopes and dreams; you repent to Him for the small and the big sins; the ones you did in secret and the ones you did openly; the ones you were aware of and the ones you didn’t realize. As the sun sets and its brightness fades in the sky, you feel a calm and comforting serenity in your heart, and you smile with hopeful certitude (yaqīn) that Allah accepted your du`ās and worship.

One Playing Field

Upon leaving `Arafah, you follow in the Prophet’s footsteps and spend the night at Muzdalifa. You’re tired and exhausted, and after you pray Maghrib and `Ishā, you might fall asleep on the ground, with a comforting mattress of gravel and rocks—and with thousands of people around you. An interesting observation came from El-Hajj Malik El-Shabazz about this part of Hajj. He said: “I remember one night at Muzdalifa with nothing but the sky overhead I lay awake amid sleeping Muslim brothers and I learned that pilgrims from every land—every color, and class, and rank; high officials and the beggar alike—snored in the same language.”¹ As simple of an observation that is, that’s what Hajj does to you; you start reflecting and noticing the commonality between people; the subtle human things that bind us and make us one. There’s no room during Hajj for bolstering the superficial differences that build barriers between us and our brothers and sisters; we’ve all been leveled to the same playing field, and stripped of these distinctions before Allah (swt). It is only righteous and sound hearts that determine our rank with Him.

Brotherhood Bonds

After leaving `Arafah and Muzdalifa, staying in Mina can be one of the greatest blessings or one of the most trying tests of Hajj. In Mina, there’s a lot of downtime because ramy al-jamarāt (the stone-throwing) is the only rite of Hajj to complete there. So people almost forget that they’re still in Hajj, and they go back to talking about the dunya, gossiping, and some even bring their TVs and watch TV in the Mina tents! When you don’t occupy yourself with dhikr at this time, you find your tongue occupied with everything else instead. You might even find yourself overwhelmed with the conditions of the place (i.e. the food, the dirty bathrooms, the filth in the streets, the lack of order, lines, organization, etc.), and that could lead to venting frustrations, backbiting, arguing and speaking harshly to others. But then you remember Allah’s words: “…and no disobedience and no disputing during Hajj. And whatever good you do, Allah knows it; and take provisions, but indeed, the best provision is God-consciousness; and be conscious of Me, O people of understanding” (Qur’an, 2:197).

Allah knows very well the conditions in Hajj; He knows it draws people together of varying cultural backgrounds, habits, mannerisms, and temperaments; he knows you’ll deal with the more civil and the less civil; the respectful and disrespectful; the calm and the rash—and He knows that all these challenges aren’t easy to face. But He wants to test you and discipline you at the same time; he wants you to practice patience and keep your cool; he wants you to be kind, gentle, and pleasant; He wants you to overlook people’s faults, and help those in need. Doesn’t He say: “and [those] who restrain anger and who pardon people – and Allah loves the doers of good” (Qur’an, 3:134)? He wants you to have a positive influence on others, and show them the beauty of Islam through your exemplary character. And of course, He also wants you to be forever grateful for the numerous blessings and relative luxuries you have back home—from clean bathrooms, to spacious homes, to comfortable beds to sleep in; “And He gave you from all you asked of Him; and if you [tried to] count the favor(s) of Allah, you could not enumerate them” (Qur’an, 14:34).

It’s also in Mina that you can build strong brother and sisterhood bonds, and gain lots of rewards. Mina has long been a center of commercial, cultural and intellectual discourse. To this day, it’s where you can meet new people and build close relationships, form study circles, exchange ideas, and gain knowledge from esteemed scholars and shuyūkh. It’s also a place where you can share food with the elderly and the needy outside your tents, share your space with those around you, carry people’s things for them, and clean the areas people gather and eat in. You can even help organize people’s shoes so they’re not blocking the walkways, and kindly encourage others to maintain the order and tidiness of the place. Whatever you choose to do, it’s staying busy with serving your fellow brothers and sisters and being part of the solution that can be a source of inner peace and also help you avoid sinning during Hajj.

The Final Strike

As you walk with thousands of people to partake in ramy al-jamarāt (throwing the stones), you remember the spiritual strength and obedience of Ibrahīm and Isma`īl (peace be upon them).  Ramy al-jamarāt not only connects you with their trials and their struggle against humanity’s enemy, but the physical act of stoning gets imprinted in your mind so you remember your own personal enemy and your daily struggle with him. After doing righteous deeds and being in a constant state of dhikr and worship, it is Satan who will try to sway you, distract you and pull you off the straight path when you go back home.  As you throw the stones, you follow the Sunnah and say “Allahu Akbar” (Allah is the Greatest), acknowledging that only He has the power to protect you from Satan’s traps and temptations.

Ending with Continuous Remembrance

Allah says in the hadīth qudsī, “My slave-worshipper doesn’t draw nearer to me with something more beloved to me than what I’ve made obligatory on him…” Hajj is first and foremost one of the most beloved worships to Allah that unites the Muslims in His servitude, and reconnects the Ummah with its pure, monotheistic foundations established by Ibrahīm (peace be upon him). In addition to remembering and reliving the experiences of our spiritual forefather and his blessed family, Allah has also designed the Hajj to yield numerous and multifaceted benefits: it strips you of the worldly distractions so you can focus on remembering Allah and purifying your heart; it provides you with intensive moral, social, and physical training and discipline; it repeatedly foreshadows situations of the Hereafter so you can remember its reality and prepare for it; it dissolves superficial distinctions between you and fellow Muslims and gives you the chance to develop new, long-lasting relationships and bonds with them; and it reminds you of the age-old enemy who you’ll continue battling against with your rejuvenated Imān when you return home. When you go through this worship solely for Allah, and adorn it with His remembrance, righteous deeds, kindness, gentleness and beautiful character with your fellow Muslims, then insha’Allah that is the hajj mabrūr—which earns you the reward of none other than Paradise, and sends you back home sinless as your mother bore you.

Now, isn’t it a blessing that Allah (swt) made Hajj obligatory (for whoever has the means)? It’s out of Allah’s mercy that He wants His servants to be showered with these countless gifts when they travel to His sacred House as His guests. But Allah also wants you to do one last thing before leaving. You know how the Arabs of pre-Islamic Arabia would gather in Mina after completing the rites of Hajj and boast about their forefathers to boost their reputation amongst other Arabs? Allah now tells the believers: “And when you have completed your rites, remember Allah like your [previous] remembrance of your fathers or with [much] greater remembrance” (Qur’an, 2:200). After just finishing a series of rites that train you to constantly remember Allah, He wants you to keep it up even more! That way, when you go back home, you’re hooked on Allah’s dhikr. After all, how could you forget Him when He’s the One who guided you, blessed you and chose you from amongst millions of Muslims to visit His sacred house and follow the footsteps of Ibrahīm, Isma`il, Hājar and Muhammad (peace be upon them) like countless believers who walked this earth before you?

“And whoever obeys Allah and the Messenger – those will be with the ones upon whom Allah has bestowed favor of the prophets, the steadfast affirmers of truth, the martyrs and the righteous; and what excellent companions these are” (Qur’an, 4:69).