How to Achieve Tranquility of the Heart Series

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII | Part IX | Part X | Part XI | Part XII | Part XIII | Part XIV | Part XV | Part XVI | Part XVII | Part XVIII | Part XIX | Part XX

Sometimes it feels like it’s just too much – these fluctuations in our iman, the repeated sinning, the feeling that “I just don’t deserve Allah’s mercy.” The tests always feel like punishments. There is a constant worry about the future: my marriage, my money, my career, my ummah (community)… And some difficulties just feel like they are too great to overcome. We know we’re not supposed to ask this, but the question at the back of our minds is, “Why me?”

We have all heard that we should never despair of Allah’s Mercy. And on the surface, we try not to, but Shaytaan (the Devil) has a trick. We tend to despair of ourselves and our incapacity to change things, especially the inner turmoil that we feel. And the effect of this is basically the same as despairing of Allah’s mercy. We do not always accept that Allah can take us out of the situation we are in and we don’t need to ‘deserve’ the trouble; Allah isn’t punishing us and we don’t need to be perfect.

This doesn’t mean, however, that we shouldn’t strive, or take ourselves to account when we do mess up. The key is to develop our relationship with Allah during that trouble. If we know Allah, no situation is too hopeless. No sadness is ever permanent. We perceive trials as they are meant to be perceived – as tests of our trust in Allah, forcing us to put our knowledge into practice and bringing us closer to Him. These trials could potentially be a punishment too, that is if we let it affect us negatively by completely turning away from Him because of our sadness. But our awareness of our own state and our understanding of Allah’s Mercy allows us to turn the punishment into something positive that is manifested through repentance to Allah, alongside increasing in hasanat (good deeds) in order to erase the bad deeds.

The first exercise is for us to consciously realize that Allah knows. Whatever grief we go through, whatever hardship we endure, we must understand that we are never alone. Even if we feel abandoned by the world and those closest to us, Allah is there. He reminds us in the Qur’an,

“Fear not. Indeed, I am with you [both]; I hear and I see.” (20:46)

As long as we begin by recognizing that Allah is with us and He is close to us, there remains a solution to our inner worries. There are things we need to know in order to develop our relationship with Allah. Then there are things we need to do in order to maintain that closeness to Allah. And finally, there are things we need to aspire for to achieve the ideal relationship with our Lord. We pray that by the end of the series, we will all have developed a stronger relationship with Allah.

Note: some of us suffer from clinical depression or similar medical conditions, and this needs to be dealt with by a professional. Working on our relationship with Allah no doubt helps, but sometimes more than a spiritual fix may be needed.

Photo: Matt Carman

Originally posted in 2007.

What do you think of when you see a Muslim doing something considered wrong?

Ever look down on them? Think you are better than them? It’s really easy to be self-righteous. It’s even easier to fall prey to this attitude if you sport the outer ‘righteous’ look.

But let’s ask ourselves this question: has Allah written us amongst His righteous servants? Or is that a title we have only given ourselves?

Check this:

I was once sitting at the da`wah (outreach) table on my college campus and a female student approached it. She asked if she could have a Qur’an, and of course, I was happy to give one to her. Then she said, “Can I ask you a question?”  The question sounded kind of deep, so I invited her to sit next to me on the empty chair. She took up the offer.

“Please don’t judge me,” she began. SubhanAllah (glory be to God)! The courage it must have taken for her to come and speak to me, for her to begin with that statement.

After reassuring her, how could I judge her? She began—

She told me that she was Muslim and she became involved in a relationship for the first time in her life with a Muslim guy. Her intention was for long term, but she felt so terrible doing it. She told me when she is with her boyfriend, she feels horrible, even though she thinks she is supposed to feel good. She told me that she knows that this is such a big sin, that she wants to stop, but that it is just so, so hard. And she asked me: Can Allah forgive me?

While this girl was speaking, I was looking at her thinking: look at the struggle she is going through for the sake of God. She hates what she is doing because she knows it’s something He would not be pleased with, she wants so much for God to forgive her, but it is so hard for her to leave what she knows she shouldn’t do.

Her desire to repent became so intense that she came to me, a girl she has never even seen before, who could easily judge her, and poured out her heart. She was so desperate in her wanting to know: Could Allah forgive her? Could He really forgive such a sin?

I told her—man, God is THE MOST MERCIFUL! He will forgive ANYTHING when you turn to Him! I kept telling her about God’s Mercy, about how He is so, so happy to accept the repentance of His creation.

We kept talking about how God must be pleased with her internal struggle because she clearly wants to gain His pleasure despite her difficulty. We looked at the Holy Hadith, where God talks about us and says:

“O child of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O child of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O child of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as it.” (Ahmad)

She was overwhelmed with emotion. I then shared with her a supplication that, if said with firm belief in the morning or evening, and if death happens on that day or night, the person who said it would be amongst the people of Paradise.

The Prophet ﷺ (peace be upon us) taught us the chief supplication (sayyidul istighfaar) of asking for forgiveness as follows:

اللَّهُمَّ أَنْتَ رَبِّي لا إِلَهَ إِلا أَنْتَ خَلَقْتَنِي وَأَنَا عَبْدُكَ وَأَنَا عَلَى عَهْدِكَ وَوَعْدِكَ مَا اسْتَطَعْتُ أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ شَرِّ مَا صَنَعْتُ أَبُوءُ لَكَ بِنِعْمَتِكَ عَلَيَّ وَأَبُوءُ لَكَ بِذَنْبِي فَاغْفِرْ لِي فَإِنَّهُ لا يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ إِلا أَنْتَ

Allahumma anta rabbi, la ilaha illa anta, khalaqtani wa ana abduka [if you’re a male]/amatuk [if you’re a female], wa ana ‘ala `ahdika wa wa`dika mastata`tu. A`udhu bika min sharri ma sana`tu, abu’u laka bini`matika ‘alaiya, wa abu’u laka bidhanbi, faghfirli, fainnahu la yaghfiru adhdhunuba illa ant.

O Allah! You are my Lord! None has the right to be worshipped but You. You created me and I am Your slave, and I am faithful to my covenant and my promise as much as I can. I seek refuge with You from all the evil I have done. I acknowledge before You all the blessings You have bestowed upon me, and I confess to You all my sins. So I entreat You to forgive my sins, for nobody can forgive sins except You. (Bukhari)

And of course, the most intimate way of feeling close to Allah is to come to Him, from the depths of one’s heart, in the language easiest for oneself, with the words coming from one’s own soul, asking for His forgiveness.

Reflect

I want you to go back to your original answer when I first posed the question. What would you be thinking of someone you see doing something you feel is wrong?

Yes, in that moment, that person might be outwardly sinning if that is what they are doing, but perhaps internally they are struggling and fighting every time they commit the sin, and are continually seeking to turn back to God. Perhaps in some people’s eyes, this person is a ‘sinner’ (and who amongst us is not?). But perhaps in the Sight of Allah, they are more beloved to Him because of their sincere struggle, than those of us who can easily fall into feeling arrogant about our Islamic activism, our Islamic appearance, or our ‘hard-core’ connection with Rabb il`alameen  (the Lord of the Worlds). We need to be careful. Are we really connected? Am I really connected?

And don’t get me wrong: the struggle of those who are trying to stay upright and please God Almighty is a weighty, honorable and noble one.

But for those of us who might have ‘been there’ and left it, and then feel arrogant that we’re no longer involved in the “ways of the sinners,” and perhaps even might feel better than others because we’re so pure and special, then my advice to myself is what Omar  radi allahu `anhu (may God be pleased with him) advised, “Take account of yourselves before you are audited.”

Or in the words of Ice Cube, “Check yourself before you wreck yourself.”

But Allah (swt) says in Surat Al-Kahf (Chapter of the Cave):

قُلْ إِنَّمَا أَنَا بَشَرٌ مِثْلُكُمْ يُوحَىٰ إِلَيَّ أَنَّمَا إِلَٰهُكُمْ إِلَٰهٌ وَاحِدٌ

“Say ‘I am only a man like you, to whom it has been revealed that your god is one God,’” (18:110).

The Prophet ﷺ was not an angel, nor a demigod, nor a jinn. He was a human being, a son of Adam `alayhi as-salaam (peace be upon him)—granted the best of the children of Adam (as), but still human. This means that aside from the miracles facilitated to him by Allah (swt), and the revelations he received through God’s angel Jibreel (as), what he did and the way he behaved and lived his life were something a human can do. It was not supernatural!

Allah (swt) says in Surat Al Anbiya’ (Chapter of the Prophets):

قُلْ لَوْ كَانَ فِي الْأَرْضِ مَلَائِكَةٌ يَمْشُونَ مُطْمَئِنِّينَ لَنَزَّلْنَا عَلَيْهِمْ مِنَ السَّمَاءِ مَلَكًا رَسُولًا

“Say ‘If there were upon the earth angels walking securely, We would have sent down to them from the heaven an angel [as a] messenger.’” (Qur’an 17:95)

If Allah (swt) had sent an angel for us to follow, how could we do so? Instead, all the prophets and messengers of Allah (swt) are humans, but humans who truly lived, practiced and breathed the message of Allah (swt). `A’isha radi Allahu `anhaa (may God be pleased with her) said of the Prophet ﷺ: “His manners were the Qur’an.” If we want to understand our religion, we must understand the way the Prophet ﷺ lived his life and understand why we should emulate him and practice his sunnah (tradition).

Allah (swt) says in Surat Al-Ahzab (Chapter of the Combined Forces):

لَقَدْ كَانَ لَكُمْ فِي رَسُولِ اللَّهِ أُسْوَةٌ حَسَنَةٌ لِمَنْ كَانَ يَرْجُو اللَّهَ وَالْيَوْمَ الْآخِرَ وَذَكَرَ اللَّهَ كَثِيرًا

“There has certainly been for you in the Messenger of Allah an excellent pattern for anyone whose hope is in Allah and the Last Day and [who] remembers Allah often.” (Qur’an 33:21)

We need to get to know the Prophet’s ﷺ personality better by reading his seerah (biography) and by studying his sunnah, and then by putting into practice all of his good qualities.

It is no secret that Islam is being attacked. Whether from within, by people who commit atrocities in the name of Islam such as ISIS and Al-Qa’idah, or from outside by the rising tide of Islamophobia and the subtle, and not-so-subtle, attacks on and mockery of Islam and Muslims. Our religion has been hijacked by a statistically insignificant minority who share nothing with the teachings of our faith other than a name. Their evil actions give reason and excuse for people of ill intent to try to smear this beautiful religion, using the actions of this minority as an excuse to attack Muslims and create a tremendous fitnah (trial) for us all. It is shaking the weak-hearted to the core and confusing those of us who, all of a sudden, find ourselves in the midst of a very disorienting storm.

Is this something new, or has it happened before? Let us take a quick look back at a couple of major events in our Prophet’s ﷺ life.

In the tenth year of prophethood, the Prophet ﷺ went to Al-Tayef, which is about 60 miles from Mecca. He travelled by foot, both ways, and in his company was his servant Zayd Bin Harithah (ra). Every time they stopped by a village or town, he would invite its people to Islam and none would answer his invitation. When he arrived at Al-Tayef he sought out three brothers who were prominent figures of the tribe of Thaqeef. He sat with them and invited them to Allah (swt) and to aid Islam. One of the brothers said to him, “I will rip the cloth off the Ka’abah if God sent you,” while the other said, “Did God not find anyone better than you?” and the third said, “By God I will never speak to you, for if you are a prophet then you are dangerous to engage in conversation and if you are lying then I should not be speaking to someone like you.” So the Prophet ﷺ left them and said, “Then please do not tell others about me.” (The Sealed Nectar, p148)

The Prophet ﷺ stayed with the people of Al-Tayef for ten days and he did not leave any of their honorable or respected figures without speaking to them about Islam. They all told him to leave their land and kicked him out. They also egged the lowly ones from among them, and their slaves, to yell and curse at the Prophet ﷺ and Zayd (ra) as they were leaving. People gathered and formed two lines and, along with cursing and yelling, threw pebbles and rocks at them until the heels of Prophet ﷺ bled. Zayd (ra) was trying to protect the Prophet ﷺ with his own body, was hit in the head, and bled. People continued to abuse them until three miles later, the Prophet ﷺ and his Companion got to a vineyard and they rested under the shade of its plants.

The Prophet ﷺ himself was humiliated, hurt and broken-hearted. What did he do?

Imam Bukhari reports that `A’isha (ra) asked the Prophet ﷺ if he had experienced a day that was harder on him than the day of the Battle of Uhud. The Prophet ﷺ replied that he had seen his fair share from her people, but the worst was when he went to Al-Tayef to invite its people to Islam. He said, “…then I left, saddened and downtrodden, until I realized that I had arrived at Qarn Al-Thaalib. While there, a cloud cast its shadow upon me. I looked up and the Angel Jibreel was on it, and he said, ‘God has heard what the people said to you and how they responded and He has sent the angel of the mountains with me to command him with whatever you may please.’ At that, moment the angel of the mountains called the Prophet and asked, ‘O Muhammad, you shall have whatever you please. If you so desire, I can close the two mountains on them.’ [The people of Al-Tayef lived between two mountains.] The Prophet replied, ‘But I wish that God would send from among them people who would worship Him alone and not associate any in worship with Him.’”

This is why Allah (swt) says about the Prophet ﷺ in Surat Al-Anbiya’:

وَمَا أَرْسَلْنَاكَ إِلَّا رَحْمَةً لِلْعَالَمِينَ

“And We have not sent you, [O Muhammad], except as a mercy to the worlds.” (21:107)

He was the most merciful person. Allah (swt) called him “a mercy to the worlds”. He was merciful to his family, followers, friends, even enemies. He was merciful to young and old, to humans and to animals. Those who persecuted him in Makkah and killed his relatives and his followers, when they were defeated in battles and brought to him as captives, were forgiven by him. He asked them, “What do you think I am to do to you today?” and they replied, “Nothing but good, a generous brother the son of a generous brother.” He replied, “I shall say to you what Yusuf (as) said to his brothers: ‘No blame on you today.’”

He did not ever take revenge or retaliate. He was the most forgiving person. His concern was that the message of Allah (swt) made it through to hardened hearts. Yet we say, “He was a prophet akhi, how am I to compare myself to him?”

Allah (swt) says in Surat Al-Baqarah (Chapter of the Cow):

أَمْ حَسِبْتُمْ أَنْ تَدْخُلُوا الْجَنَّةَ وَلَمَّا يَأْتِكُمْ مَثَلُ الَّذِينَ خَلَوْا مِنْ قَبْلِكُمْ ۖ مَسَّتْهُمُ الْبَأْسَاءُ وَالضَّرَّاءُ وَزُلْزِلُوا حَتَّىٰ يَقُولَ الرَّسُولُ وَالَّذِينَ آمَنُوا مَعَهُ مَتَىٰ نَصْرُ اللَّهِ ۗ أَلَا إِنَّ نَصْرَ اللَّهِ قَرِيبٌ

“Or do you think that you will enter Paradise while such [trial] has not yet come to you as came to those who passed on before you? They were touched by poverty and hardship and were shaken until [even their] messenger and those who believed with him said, “When is the help of Allah?” Unquestionably, the help of Allah is near.” (Qur’an 2:214)

We are living in difficult times and many questions surround us.

How do we counter sick-hearted people who want to turn our children into murderers under the false guise of Islam?

How do we answer Islamophobia?

How do we answer our children’s questions about a distorted image of Islam?

How do we uphold the Prophet’s ﷺ honor?

By learning and understanding the life he lived. The morals he exemplified. The actions he took. By building ourselves in the same methodical way he built his followers. You start with faith and solidify it in your heart. Then you apply the beauty of that faith to all of your actions.

قُلْ إِنْ كُنْتُمْ تُحِبُّونَ اللَّهَ فَاتَّبِعُونِي يُحْبِبْكُمُ اللَّهُ وَيَغْفِرْ لَكُمْ ذُنُوبَكُمْ ۗ وَاللَّهُ غَفُورٌ رَحِيمٌ

“Say, [O Muhammad], ‘If you should love Allah, then follow me, [so] Allah will love you and forgive you your sins. And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.’” (Qur’an 3:31)

To follow him, we must understand him.

The time is now for us to focus on what is most important.

It is not the environment you live in. The Prophet ﷺ grew up in a time where people circumambulated the Ka`bah naked and worshipped idols.

It is not the lack of a full-time Islamic school that makes our children grow up detached from this religion.

It is not that we do not have an imam (religious leader). We have the example of a great imam, may Allah (swt) bless him and his family, but even though we have him, he is not going to raise our children for us.

The responsibility lies with us. We are the ones responsible for understanding our faith and raising our kids to be proud of, and to fully embrace and practice, their Muslim identity.

Allah (swt) says in Surat Muhammad:

فَاعْلَمْ أَنَّهُ لَا إِلَٰهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ وَاسْتَغْفِرْ لِذَنْبِكَ وَلِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ وَالْمُؤْمِنَاتِ

“So know, [O Muhammad], that there is no deity except Allah and ask forgiveness for your sin and for the believing men and believing women. And Allah knows of your movement and your resting place.” (Qur’an 47:19)

We are told to ‘know’ before we are told to ask for forgiveness. The most telling evidence that we must have knowledge first before we take action is that the first verse of the Qur’an to be revealed was:

اقْرَأْ بِاسْمِ رَبِّكَ الَّذِي خَلَقَ

“Recite in the name of your Lord who created.” (Qur’an 96:1)

Reading is the key to knowledge. Islam started with knowledge and learning before action, and therefore it is incumbent upon each one of us to learn our deen (religion). Learn and know what is obligated upon you for the sake of Allah (swt), for your own sake, for your family’s sake, your neighbors, your community, your society and humanity as a whole.

Knowledge is a fardh (obligation) on every Muslim. This obligation is two kinds. One is what is known in Islam as fard kifayah, or an obligation that is fulfilled if a sufficient number of Muslims within a community perform it. For example, not every Muslim needs to be a scholar of Islam, or an expert in hadith (traditions of the Prophet ﷺ) or tafseer (exegesis of the Qur’an). It is an obligatory knowledge, but if a sufficient number of people possess it, then the sin of not performing the obligation is lifted from the rest of the Muslims. This is true for all kinds of knowledge, not only Islamic or religious knowledge. This means that not everyone needs to be a doctor or a lawyer or an engineer; rather, a sufficient number of people should have that knowledge, helping their societies become self-sufficient rather than needing to import expertise.

The second form of knowledge is that which is fard `ayn, or obligatory on each and every Muslim. Every Muslim must learn of their religion that which corrects, strengthens and improves their faith.

The best way to fight Islamophobia is to understand and practice our Islam: to engage people as a Muslim and to live our lives as Muslims. Therefore, wearing the hijab is fighting Islamophobia. Resisting lusts and temptations is fighting Islamophobia. Understanding Islam is fighting Islamophobia.

By Hiba Khan

From childhood to the moment we leave this earth, we are conditioned to think in the way of the world. A world that is characterised by limits, finite in its very nature. From the colossal star that lights our days, provides the conditions required for life and keeps us circling a steady orbit, to the cells that constitute the bodies we inhabit, everything around us is limited. The sun will one day collapse, just as the matter that makes up our human forms will return to dust. We see boundaries, curbs and confinement, which extend from fossil fuels and the concept of time all the way to our own self-imposed structures. It is only ever physically possible for a certain number of us to get into university or get a job, regardless of aptitude and potential. It struck me as a young child that the only instance in which we are not faced with a cut-off, where competition is not defined by a fixed number of spaces and positions, is Jannah (Paradise). There will be no disappointment because you were not within the 60,000 person cut-off mark; we are not racing against one another because the palaces might run out before we make it. With Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He) there are no limits, because He is limitless.

There are no frontiers or caps where He is concerned, a concept our minds can never truly comprehend because they themselves are built with limits. What we tend to forget however is that our souls and our spiritual hearts, the essence of what we are, belong to another realm; the realm of their Lord, which is infinite, absolute, eternal and illimitable. Our non-physical aspects therefore cannot be categorised and condemned to the nature of this world. Allah’s (swt) love for us is boundless, His mercy is without beginning or end, and it is from this nature that the concept of un-conditionality arises. Our souls, in their divine essence, can be vessels for this boundless mercy and love if He so wills it.

Imagine a tap whose source is a lake. Water will flow from the tap so long as there is water in the lake, perhaps for days, perhaps for weeks, until the lake runs dry. Now imagine a tap connecting to an ocean. Water will flow from the tap for years, but eventually, even the mighty ocean will have been drained. However, if there was an infinite water supply, in which every drop of water is replaced instantaneously after being removed, water would flow from the attached tap forever. We all know that the output depends directly on the source. Undeniably, the characteristics of the provider are reflected in what is provided.

We are like the tap: if we connect ourselves to a limited source, however vast, expansive and mighty that source may be, we will one day run dry. Our love and mercy will cease to gush forth as we tire and become worn out. But if our source is infinite and endless, in need of no replenishment or renewal because it is perfect and complete, our souls can truly fulfil their divine potential. Our souls can act as vessels for the most beautiful and pure phenomenon in physical and spiritual existence. If we connect ourselves wholly and securely to Allah (swt), only then are we able to channel love and mercy unconditionally to others.

We must free ourselves from the shackles of how we have been programmed to think in this world. Stop applying imperfect, narrowed limitations and restrictions to things that are above any bounds. Make Him the sole source and reason for our loving and giving, and there will be no reason to hold back, to be fearful or cautious of what we give to the souls intertwined in ours. Because it is for Him and from Him, be it kindness with a family member or compassion for a stranger on the street, our hearts will be filled up and content. It is for and from He Who rewards, He Who gives without measure, He Whose bounty and praise are all-embracing.

Even when our bodies become one with the earth from which they came, even when the sun’s brilliant burning is no more, all that we gave of love and mercy will remain, true and eternal just like He in Whose name it was dealt forth.

Lessons from the Story of Prophet Adam (Part II)

By Sabah El Kadi and Manal Hatab

Part I | Part II

This article is the second part of a series bringing forth the parenting lessons embedded in the story of Prophet Adam (as) in Surat Al-Baqara. To read the first 3 lessons, please visit the first part of this series here.

Lesson 4

Translate beneficial knowledge into practice.

“And [mention] when We said to the angels, ‘Prostrate before Adam’; so they prostrated, except for Iblees. He refused and was arrogant and became of the disbelievers. And We said, ‘O Adam, dwell, you and your wife, in Paradise and eat therefrom in [ease and] abundance from wherever you will. But do not approach this tree, lest you be among the wrongdoers.’” (Qur’an 2:34-35)

After Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He) taught Adam `alayhi as-salaam (peace be upon him) the names, He then prohibited him and his wife from taking delight in one tree. Adam’s first concrete interaction—with Satan and the ensuing punishment—defined the beginning of his practical experiences. The purpose of the encounter with Satan was to teach Prophet Adam (as) and his wife about the nature of their struggle in the real world. According to Ma’riful Qur’an commentary: “They were warned that their existence on the earth would no longer be full of perpetual bliss as it had been in paradise, but there would be dissension and enmity among men, their progeny, which would spoil the joy of earthly life.” Consequently, Prophet Adam (as) learned that his struggle in the world will be between evil and good, and that evil is weak if he is armed with beneficial knowledge and yaqeen (certainty), the real weapons of the future deputy of God. It is those qualities which will protect his relationship with his Creator and strengthen it.

As the child grows older and reaches the age of discernment and beyond, he develops a moral compass and a concrete understanding of the world which are in line with the theological teachings of Islam (creed). This is the time for parents to give their growing children choices and responsibilities. Through closely supervised experiences, parents expose their children to life’s trying nature as prophet Adam (as) was exposed to the consequences of breaking God’s commandment. Giving children an opportunity to blend into their environments while making mistakes is paramount to their developmental growth and social competence. This is an important phase as the child gains the trust of his parents while he feels their unwavering presence in his life and experiences a practical application of his value system.

Those supervised exposures will support the child in navigating through his future with confidence, as he is able to delineate the boundaries, which define his relationship with his Creator, his relationship with the self, and his relationship with creation.

Lesson 5

Teach the child repentance with mercy and love.

“But Satan caused them to slip out of it and removed them from that [condition] in which they had been. And We said, ‘Go down, [all of you], as enemies to one another, and you will have upon the earth a place of settlement and provision for a time.’ Then Adam received from his Lord [some] words, and He accepted his repentance. Indeed, it is He who is the Accepting of repentance, the Merciful.” (Qur’an, 2:36-37)

Prophet Adam (as) was afflicted with forgetfulness and ate from the forbidden tree. Thereafter God questioned him and he assumed responsibility for his actions. “And We had already taken a promise from Adam before, but he forgot; and We found not in him determination,” (Qur’an, 20: 115). Adam’s disobedience was not intentional. He grew accustomed to the comforts of paradise, forgot his promise and believed Satan. The lessons, which can be highlighted here, are two.

Firstly, Prophet Adam (as) learned how Allah (swt) reprimands the wrong doer and punishes him. Secondly, he learned how Allah (swt) forgives and reveals His mercy when the disobedient repents. Consequently, Adam’s disobedience was instrumental for him to experience the human quality of wrongdoing and the divine attribute of the merciful and compassionate God. Furthermore, mercy is an adornment of the deputy of God so that he may guide those wrong doers in this world to repentance by seeking their Lord.

Making mistakes is of human nature and contributes to invaluable room for emotional growth as it helps define the relationship that the child has with the self and with the Creator. Prophet Adam’s disobedience presented an opportunity for him to understand his weak self and the necessary mechanism to remedy wrong actions through repentance. He also understood that his relationship with his Creator is fortified through beneficial knowledge, which breeds yaqeen, and obedience to God’s commandments. He also learned that his biggest enemy is forgetfulness. Consequently, teaching children repentance is fundamental, as no human being is infallible as the following hadith (narration) states:

The Prophet ﷺ said: “By the One in Whose hand is my soul, if you did not commit sin Allah would do away with you and bring people who would commit sin then pray for forgiveness.” Narrated by Muslim . He ﷺ also said: “Every son of Adam sins and the best of those who sin are those who repent.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi)

During this phase of upbringing, parents may find many lessons in Prophet Ya`qub’s ((Jacob)) “responsive” parenting style. ((https://www.virtualmosque.com/society/dawah/prophet-yaqub-a-role-model-father/ )) His (as) wisdom and divine knowledge contributed to shaping Prophet Yusuf’s righteous personality as a child and to his unwavering presence in the lives of Yusuf’s misguided brothers. He (as) continuously called them to repentance though wisdom, patience and good counsel. Therefore , reminding our children so that they do not forget as their father Adam did and showing mercy towards them as Allah (swt) did towards Adam (as) are essential parenting tools to raising the future deputy on earth.

Lesson 6

The Earthly Struggle

“We said, ‘Go down from it, all of you. And when guidance comes to you from Me, whoever follows My guidance – there will be no fear concerning them, nor will they grieve. And those who disbelieve and deny Our signs – those will be companions of the Fire; they will abide therein eternally.’” (Qur’an, 2:38-39)

Prophet Adam (as) learned the consequences to disobedience; he repented and Allah (swt) opened His door to a world which He created and prepared for him to inhabit as His deputy on earth. Allah (swt) then left Prophet Adam (as) in this world with the complete freedom to fulfill this role and out of His mercy sent prophets as a gift and a reminder.

Consequently, whoever is guided in this world is in essence guided to paradise in the hereafter and whoever forgets and is misguided in this world is in essence misguided from the gift of paradise in the hereafter. God in His infinite mercy provided Adam (as) with the knowledge he needed to struggle in His way, taught him the mechanism of repentance and sent messengers to remind his descendents of the meaning of their existence. Those who fulfill their role of deputyship are the ones who rule with justice, avoid transgressions and follow God’s commandments. Those who corrupt and oppress themselves do not assume that divinely delegated role.

Conclusion

Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: “Religion is counsel,” (Muslim). Our children are the most entitled to such precious counsel until they take on the role of the deputy of God and struggle on their own to gain the pleasure of their Creator.

The first step in raising the future deputy of God lies in establishing safe environments, which reflect the orderliness and beauty of paradise. Attending to the physical and developmental needs of the child through “responsive” and nurturing parenting is equally important.

Secondly, imparting beneficial knowledge, which caters to the child’s learning needs and his age readiness is fundamental to shaping character, reinforcing values and empowering the child to understand the nature of the world and to overcome the fears bred through ignorance.

Thirdly, supporting the child in experiencing his environment broadens his insight into the nature of the world and provides him with practical application of his value system. Parents’ support must be always channeled through an attitude of love and open communication; they remind the child and reprimand him with mercy and love. Alluding to Prophet Ya’qub’s approach (as) to parenting proves to be a good example here, especially during the adolescent years.

Finally, as the child matures well beyond the age of discernment, parents teach him that his carnal instincts are a blessing if channeled towards what Allah (swt) made permissible. In doing so, he reaps the rewards of this life and the hereafter. They also teach him repentance while remaining steadfast to Allah’s commandments, through a character which manifests moderation and wisdom. Equally important, they teach him that his greatest enemy is forgetfulness if he steers away from God’s religion and that the door of mercy is open until he takes his last breath.

When Religious Leaders Fail: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

(This article was reviewed by a licensed therapist.)                    

The first level of disappointment is regarding the religious leader him/herself. Here are the aforementioned points that deal with this level:

• You may feel your trust was betrayed by their behavior because they did not practice what they preached. They not only did the opposite, but they did so in ways which are lower than you would ever expect in a friend, let alone a teacher and spokesperson for the religion. You may have trusted them, looked up to them, helped them, loved them, and/or obeyed them with devotion. The closer you were, the deeper the pain.
• Perhaps you feel the whole “Religious Preachers Industry” is corrupt to begin with. After all, you may have found out that others in the field were aware of this person’s ethical issues and did nothing to protect the public, or defend the rights of those abused. In fact, some continued to work with and promote their work as it was mutually advantageous to do so. Somehow, when religious leaders fail, they seem to be treated as above the law, above justice, and others in the field are part of the cover up using excuses of selective mercy that do not extend to the masses these people have harmed, or have the very real probability of harming, based on their issue reflecting an untreated pattern of such behavior.
• If you were specifically harmed by a religious leader, you may feel unsafe around religious leaders in general, particularly ones with the same physical profile or features as the person who harmed you.

As for the first point, your trust was in fact betrayed. You have a right to feel wronged. This feeling though, thankfully, does not mean you have to remain a victim to the mountainous pain of disappointment. When a religious leader fails, it has nothing to do with you, even if you were the one they directly harmed. It is a reflection of themselves, their own weaknesses, and internal states. There is no benefit that you can gain from holding onto the mountain of pain. Sometimes, a person might think by reliving the pain regularly, by carrying the mountain, they are protecting themselves from becoming desensitized to corruption, as the person who ‘doesn’t care’ is part of the problem. One can care very much, and be fully sensitive without having to carry the burden of pain with them. Integrity does not require self-imposed suffering. Just as you have a right to feel wronged and disappointed, you also have a right to let go of this pain while retaining the lessons.

The second point can become a dangerous slippery slope. There are hundreds of religious leaders in America. Even 30 Failed Leaders should not make us think the rest are in the same boat. At the same time, there is also no need to be naïve and assume everyone else is a saint. Everyone is human and capable of great good and great evil. To have the best opinion, do not assume more than what you see, in either direction. If someone does a clearly wrong action in front of you, “making 70 excuses” does not mean you say the action was right or justified. It means you might think, “Perhaps they are having a bad day, maybe they didn’t realize it was wrong, etc.” You also don’t extend it beyond that by thinking, “They probably do this all the time, this is how they *really* are, etc.” This would be having the worst assumption, and it’s not something allowed in Islam. To have balance means you don’t assume in any direction where their heart is as only Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He) knows the hearts, and you only judge through actions, their observable behavior whether or not they are someone you’d like to take as a teacher. No one should be idolized. The religious leader is not the religion. I repeat, the religious leader is not the religion, no matter what claim to authority they might make. Even the most honorable ustaadh or ustaadha (teacher) is still human and makes mistakes. In Islam, we put following principles above following people.

Umar radi allahu `anhu (may God be pleased with him) once asked his people when he was amir al-mu’mineen (the Leader of the Believers) what they would do if he bowed down to corruption. He asked three times, until one of the people responded and said they would fight him. He congratulated the man who responded for having the appropriate response. If Umar (ra) as the khalifah (Caliph) was not above the law, no one else should be. If people have been wronged, they have the right to have their claims addressed even if they have to go to court. Sometimes people don’t want the stories to get out because they feel like such stories hurt the community’s faith. That might be true when it comes to smaller claims that can be negotiated between intermediaries. But for situations where a person is a clear danger, allowing a dangerous religious leader to continue harming people causes a much bigger crisis to faith and trust in religious leaders and institutions in the long run. Seeking justice is a means of having mercy on the community and even on the offending personality. Having once been involved in helping out with an intervention in which therapy was one of the requirements placed on the offender, the community leader who compliantly left their position, after some time, thanked those who intervened saying, “For the first time I felt like my problem can be, and will be, solved.” Alhamdulilah (all praise be to God), it was.

That being said, the entire field is not corrupt. The entire field is not pristine and pure either. Look for people of solid character, sound credentials in their learning, and people who work with others to build institutions that are about a cause bigger than their specific persona. Avoid taking people who display regularly narcissistic behavior as personal guides. You might be able to benefit in knowledge, but over time the behavior becomes normalized to you, and you would unknowingly adopt it yourself. The sincere teacher connects you to your mission, and calls you to God, not to himself or herself. Sound credentials are also important. Don’t take anyone as a teacher in religion who does not have the educational background that gives them ijaza (credential) to teach others. A beard, accent, and long robe are not indications of an educational background nor good character. Be wary of online degrees where the person has not also studied directly from scholars. Peer acknowledgment of requisite knowledge, character, and training by those who are credentialed and of exemplary character is another form of legitimacy. Our religious understanding is a living tradition, and it is inherited through people and institutions.

As for the last point, you may need therapy to fully recover from your experience. This is not something to fear or dread. Does anyone fear taking medicine when they feel physically ill? Medicine does not contradict prayer and tawakkul (trust in God), it completes it. If you don’t get treatment, you may find yourself turning away from anything and everything that reminds you even remotely of religion. After being harmed by a religious symbol, it becomes tempting to turn away from all religious symbols. If one was fake, there may be an urge to paint it all as fake. This is a trap of shaytan (the devil). When we are tested, we are in even more need of turning to Allah and holding onto His rope for our survival, guidance, and healing. If you feel like turning away, then allow yourself to stop the downward spiral by getting up, and turning back to Allah. Call on Him to guide you, help you, strengthen you, and liberate you from your pain.

Here are some tools that help alleviate overwhelming emotional distress:

1. Journaling in the third person: By expressing, you release the tension and come to realize the situation is not so big that it has to overwhelm you. It’s small enough to put into words and make sense of. By using third person you are able to dissociate from the heavy emotions while acknowledging what happened, and gaining lessons as well.
2. Channel your energy into a helpful hobby: exercise, painting, etc..
3. Releasing: A technique that is taught in the Whims-I-Kill program at ipersonalenrichment.com.
4. Speaking to local trained Muslim counselors and therapists.
5. Surround yourself with support. Fight the tendency to isolate. Spend time with worthy friends who would be like perfume sellers not blacksmiths. [i]
6. Increased worship and du`a’ (prayer). Every time you feel a whisper telling you to turn away from Allah, rebel and rebel hard. The shaytan wants you to despair in Allah, so you can feel utterly alone and without support. When you call on Allah, do so with hope in Him and His infinite abilities and wisdom. Believe in Who you don’t see much more than what you do see.

In the next piece, we will deal with the second and third levels of disappointment insha’ Allah. Until then, I pray this is of benefit for those affected and a conversation starter for all. Please feel free to add comments or reflections to this. You never know whom your shared thoughts are going to help.

When Religious Leaders Fail: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Sexual Harassment.  Marrying a second wife secretly for a temporary amount of time.  Pedophilia. Pornography. Adultery and its kin: developing ‘back-up’ plan relationships while married. Embezzling funds.  Spiritual abuse and false religious justifications for harmful/ immoral behavior. Slander.

Then you see their names on flyers for Islamic events, and hear them speaking about modesty, integrity, courage, family life, being a good husband or wife, a good father or mother, detached from money and wealth, the ethics of speech. They might have adoring crowds who don’t know or just a small team of people they work with who don’t care.

If you’ve ever had a religious teacher or teachers who didn’t just fall, but they *failed* miserably at upholding a basic ethical standard for themselves, you may have experienced emotional burn-out as a result. Please note that religious leaders may fall all the time because they are human and it is human to fall as no one can fully escape the minor sins. This is why I used the term “Fail.” A Fail, as I use it in this series, is when a religious leader falls into a major sin or a socially reprehensible sin that is beneath the level of trust afforded to their position, is confronted, and they stubbornly refuse to make proper amends even when given the chance. This is a fail.

Please also note that I use the term emotional burn-out, and not spiritual burn-out because the spirit is essentially untouchable. Our bodies on the other hand produce emotions, and they do get affected by the stress of disappointment. Sometimes spirit and emotion are used interchangeably in language and it’s important to realize they are certainly not one and the same, as described by Ustadh Abdelrahman Mussa here. This is significant because once you realize the burn-out is emotional, you have a pathway to recovery.

Let’s unpack some of the emotions and delve into the conscious and subconscious thoughts behind such disappointment:

• You may feel your trust was betrayed by their behavior because they did not practice what they preached. They not only did the opposite, but they did so in ways which are lower than you would ever expect in a friend, let alone a teacher and spokesperson for the religion. You may have trusted them, looked up to them, helped them, loved them, and/or obeyed them with devotion. The closer you were, the deeper the pain.
• As a once devoted student, you may now feel nothing when you hear about Islamic lectures, classes, and events featuring other speakers and religious leaders. After all, they could be corrupt as well. Why risk the pain of getting emotionally ‘burned’ again?
• Perhaps you feel the whole “Religious Preachers Industry” is corrupt to begin with. After all, you may have found out that others in the field were aware of this person’s ethical issues and did nothing to protect the public, or defend the rights of those abused. In fact, some continued to work with and promote their work as it was mutually advantageous to do so. Somehow, when religious leaders fail, they seem to be treated as above the law, above justice, and others in the field are part of the cover up using excuses of selective mercy that do not extend to the masses these people have harmed, or have the very real probability of harming, based on their issue reflecting an untreated pattern of such behavior.
• If you were specifically harmed by a religious leader, you may feel unsafe around religious leaders in general, particularly ones with the same physical profile or features as the person who harmed you.
• Deep down you may be questioning God for allowing such corrupt people to represent His faith. You may feel at a subconscious level disappointed in God for allowing them to be the leaders of the Muslim community.
• You may also feel disappointment in yourself for not being ‘smarter’, wiser, for not seeing through the deception. This may also mean you lack trust in your own judgment and don’t trust yourself to trust again.
• You may feel disappointment with the masses for following such people with the same ‘blindness’ that you once did. Some of their fans may even continue to defend the religious leader and blame the people who were harmed for daring to speak up.
• You may feel a general lack of hope for the Muslim community. If corrupt or complicit are the leaders, and blind are the followers, what if anything can be done toward progress?
• You may feel like you have no control over holding the religious leader accountable if you were personally harmed, and you may feel no control in preventing them from harming others.
• You may feel isolated and disconnected because this issue doesn’t seem to bother others around you as much as it bothers you.

This is not a comprehensive list by any stretch of what may be some underlying frustrations. Each of these points can create a myriad of different powerful emotions, so imagine what a few or all of them could create? Rather than feel all the sadness, anger, anxiety, fear, disappointment, helplessness, dislike, pain, loneliness, vulnerability, hopelessness, (insert huge overwhelming emotion here), etc. , you may have simply shut down your feelings altogether, thus creating apathy and numbness. Holding onto to the apathy and numbness for a prolonged period without help can lead to a crisis in one’s faith as there is a tendency to extend the apathy to one’s relationship to Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He) Himself.

This post is simply an introduction to the topic and future posts are meant to deal with each of the aforementioned points in greater detail. If you are someone who has experienced this test and what you’re struggling with emotionally is not addressed in the points above, please add your specific struggle to the comments section and we will try to address it insha’ Allah (God willing). If you have a specific trauma that you would like counseling or therapy for, we can try to connect you to someone qualified insha’ Allah. If you have not gone through this test alhamdulilah (praise be to God), it is hoped that these posts may empower you to help someone who has.

Even though this is simply an introduction, there is one important lesson I would like to leave us with for this week: We can and should disagree with unethical behavior from anyone without disapproving of the qadar (decree) of Allah. Disagreeing with someone’s harmfulness is healthy, needed, and productive. Blaming Allah for having experienced it is not. Once something is in the past, it is part of His decree. Once it is part of His decree, you accept the good and bad of it as being a test from Him, which could not have been other than what occurred. There is no changing the past. The pens have been lifted and the ink has dried on it. You embrace His test without doubting His Perfection, Justice, and Mercy. There is no need to attribute either to Allah (swt) or even to yourself anything negative about this test. Allah does not hate you and you are not a horrible or unworthy person because this test happened to you. These are harmful thoughts that lack any benefit and only push you into the mud, so you can imagine where they came from. The whispers of shaytan (the devil) are to make us despair in Allah (swt), and despair in ourselves. Instead, look to what is beneficial and ask yourself: What do I have control over? What will I be asked about when I am resurrected? My immediate choices. How can I use my immediate choices to better the situation? How can I use my immediate choices to make the best transaction with Allah (swt) through this test, and gain unfathomable reward insha’ Allah? How can I rely on Allah (swt) for strength and guidance and come out personally stronger and wiser? Some answers insha’ Allah will be in the upcoming posts. For now, allow yourself to reflect on your own answers and realize that this is simply the practical application of the famous hadith (narration):

“The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, while there is good in both. Guard over that which benefits you, seek Allah’s Assistance, wa laa ta’jiz [‘don’t lend yourself to things devoid of benefit’, ‘don’t stop hoping’—both acceptable meanings], and if something befalls you, then don’t say ‘If I only would have done such and such,’ rather say, ‘Qaddar Allahu wa maa sha’a  fa’al’ [‘Allah ordained (this) and He does what He wills’], for verily the phrase, ‘If I would have’ makes way for the work of Shaytan.” (Muslim)

No matter how weak you might feel in your faith, the Prophet ﷺ (peace be upon him) affirms there is still good in you and the fact that you believe is evidence of the love Allah (swt) has for you. The recipe to increased strength starts with embracing the decree of Allah, remaining hopeful in Him, and focusing on what is beneficial to you in this life and the next. Know that gratitude in Allah (swt) for the faith He has blessed you with increases it, and is immensely beneficial. You may not realize it yet, but you got this insha’ Allah.

Photo: Stewart Baird

“And out from where they had been concealed walked two other detectives. They’d had me covered. One false move, I’d have been dead…

If I hadn’t been arrested right when I was, I could have been dead another way. Sophia’s husband’s friend had told her husband about me. And her husband had arrived that morning, and had gone to the apartment with a gun, looking for me. He was at the apartment just about when they took me to the precinct…

I have thought a thousand times, I guess, about how I so narrowly escaped death twice that day. That’s why I believe that everything is written.” ((The Autobiography of Malcolm X, p. 241-242))

These are the words of the late Malik el-Shabazz – Malcolm X – may Allah’s mercy be upon him, as he told the story of the day he got arrested. It was through prison that he was exposed to the teachings of Elijah Muhammad and the Nation of Islam. It would be many more years before he visited Makkah, as a member of the Nation, and accepted orthodox Islam. It was as though someone was taking care of him all this time – nudging him, teaching him through hardship and blessing, and caring for him. It may not have been clear at the time, but it became apparent later on.

Because someone was taking care of him. The same One who takes care of you and me.

He is Allah, Al-Rabb (the Lord). This attribute is mentioned so many times in the Qur’an, but it is different from His other Names. While Allah is Al-Haleem (the Forbearing) or Al-Wahhab (the Giver of Gifts), you cannot say, “Allah is my Haleem”, for example. Linguistically it does not make sense. You can say He is forbearing with you, or He is The Forbearing, but you cannot use it in the possessive form. But when ‘Rabb’ is mentioned, you can change the form.

He is not just Al-Rabb. He is ‘Rabby’ – my Rabb. This  shows us how close Allah is to us. That’s why the first verses to be revealed to the Prophet ﷺ (peace be upon him) were:

“Recite in the name of your Rabb who created –” [96:1]

Though the Prophet ﷺ was an orphan, it is as though this verse came to tell him, ‘You have a Rabb, Someone has been taking care of you all this time.’ ‘Rabb’ is hard to translate because it has so many meanings attached to it. It is commonly translated as ‘Lord’, but that is only part of the meaning. In the dictionary it is stated:

الرَّبُّ يُطْلَق في اللغة على المالكِ، والسَّـيِّدِ، والـمُدَبِّر، والـمُرَبِّي، والقَيِّمِ، والـمُنْعِمِ
والرّبُّ: المُصْلِح للشّيء.
والله جلّ ثناؤُه الرَّبٌّ؛ لأنه مصلحُ أحوالِ خَلْقه.

Al-Rabb linguistically is said to be the Owner, the Master, the One who arranges all matters, the Nurturer, the Sustainer, and the One who bestows favors and blessings. Al-Rabb is also the one who mends something; and Allah is al-Rabb – subhanahu wa ta`ala, exalted is He – because He mends the conditions of His creation.

Because Rabb encompasses all of these meanings, Surat al-Fatiha (Qur’an 1) is a beautiful introduction to His Name. We are told:

“[All] praise is [due] to Allah…” [1:1]

Imagine you are reading this for the first time. You might say ‘well, who is Allah (swt)?’

“…Rabb of all the worlds.” [1:1]

If He is a Rabb – with all of the meanings this word encompasses – then the logical conclusion is ‘I must be a slave’. But what is my relationship with this Rabb? What kind of Rabb is He?

“The Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful.” [1:2]

Wow. That is who is He is. That is the type of Rabb Allah (swt) is. He is the The Rabb, the One who is your Master, but the Master who nurtures you with His All-Encompassing Mercy. So how can we not worship Him? How can we not seek His nearness?

Allah shows us how he arranges everything in this world, how He is master of things that you are not even aware of. When He first speaks to Moses `alayhi as-salaam (peace be upon him) and tells him that he must confront Pharaoh, Moses (as) makes a supplication. Allah (swt) grants Him what he asked for, but then He reminds Moses (as):

‘And We had already conferred favor upon you another time, When We inspired to your mother what We inspired, [Saying], ‘Cast him into the chest and cast it into the river, and the river will throw it onto the bank; there will take him an enemy to Me and an enemy to him.’ And I bestowed upon you love from Me that you would be brought up under My eye. [And We favored you] when your sister went and said, ‘Shall I direct you to someone who will be responsible for him?’ So We restored you to your mother that she might be content and not grieve. And you killed someone, but We saved you from retaliation and tried you with a [severe] trial. And you remained [some] years among the people of Madyan. Then you came [here] at the decreed time, O Moses. And I produced you for Myself. Go, you and your brother, with My signs and do not slacken in My remembrance. Go, both of you, to Pharaoh. Indeed, he has transgressed. And speak to him with gentle speech that perhaps he may be reminded or fear [Allah].’ [20:37-44]

Allah (swt) reminds Moses (as) that He was there for him all along – even when he did not know it. Even when he thought that he was going through a hardship, Allah (swt) was there. Allah (swt) was teaching him, like a Rabb would. And what do Moses and Aaron (as) say?

‘They said, “Our Lord, indeed we are afraid that he will hasten [punishment] against us or that he will transgress.”’ [37:45]

They say ‘Rabbana’ – our Rabb. That is how personal this Name is. They beseech their Rabb, telling Him of their fears. And Allah (swt) responds, reassuring them once more:

‘[Allah] said, “Fear not. Indeed, I am with you both; I hear and I see.’ [37:46]

In another chapter, Moses (as) and the Children of Israel are being hunted down by Pharaoh and his army. They are fast on their heels. The Children of Israel cry out in despair, “Indeed, we are to be overtaken!” ((Qur’an, 26:61)) But Moses (as), firm in his faith, says, “No! Indeed, with me is my Lord [Rabby]; He will guide me.” ((Qur’an, 26:62))

There is a hadith (saying) of the Prophet ﷺ in which he says:

اللّهُمّ إِنّي أَسْأَلُكَ بِأَنّ لَكَ الْحَمْدُ لا إِلَهَ إِلاّ أَنْتَ المنّانُ بَدِيعُ السّمَاواتِ وَاْلأَرْضِ يَاذَا الْجَلاَلِ وَالإِكْرَامِ يَاحَيُّ يَاقَيّومُ

“O Allah, I ask You by virtue of the fact that praise is due to You, there is no god but You, Who shows favor and beneficence, the Originator of the heavens and the earth, O Lord of Majesty and Splendor, O Living One, O Eternal One.”

The Prophet ﷺ then said, “He has supplicated Allah using His Greatest Name; when supplicated by this name, Allah answers, and when asked by this name, He gives.” (Abu Dawud)

There are other sayings with different wordings. Sheikh Ratib an-Nabulsi stated that some are of the opinion that Al-Hayy Al-Qayyum (the Ever-Living, the Sustainer) are His greatest Names, while others were of the opinion that the greatest Name is that which pertains to your situation. For example, if you are poor, you may ask Allah Al-Razzaq (the Provider) or Al-Ghani (the Self-Sufficient). If you are sick, you would ask Al-Shaafi’ (the Healer). Others stated that His greatest Name is Al-Rabb. If we look at the Qur’an, the Prophets (peace be upon them) call on Allah (swt), their Rabb:

‘And [mention] Zechariah, when he called to his Lord, “My Lord (Rabby), do not leave me alone [with no heir], while you are the best of inheritors.”’ [21:89]

The Prophet Zechariah (as) calls out “Rabby” when asking for an heir. Our beloved Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, when he was expelled from Ta’if, made a heartfelt call to his Rabb:

“O Allah! To you alone I complain my weakness, my scarcity of resources, and the humiliation I have been subjected to by people. O Most Merciful of those who have mercy! You are the Lord (Rabb) of the weak, and You are My Lord (Rabby) too.

To whom have you entrusted me? To a distant person who receives me with hostility? Or to an enemy to whom you have granted authority over my affair?

But as long as You are not angry with me, I do no care, except that Your favor is a more expansive relief to me. I seek refuge in the light of Your Face by which all darkness is dispelled and every affair of this world and the next is set right, lest Your anger or Your displeasure descend upon me.

Yours is the right to reproach until You are pleased. There is no power and no might except by You.”

Al-Rabb is a beautiful Name and attribute of Allah (swt) that should make us feel close to Him. Sheikh Ratib an-Nabulsi likens this attribute, which is sometimes used for a human being, to a compassionate father who takes care of his household. With a human, there has to be an addition, for example ‘rabb al-bayt’ – the rabb of the house. But Allah (swt) is the only One who is Al-Rabb – The Rabb.

Coming alive with this Name

• Look back at your life and see how He has been taking care of you all along

Just like the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, the Prophet Moses (as), Malcolm X, and many more, look back at your life and see how Allah (swt) has been taking care of you. Talk to Him and thank Him for being there with you. Remember that in every hardship there is a lesson from ‘a Merciful Lord’ [36:58].

• Worship your Rabb

Allah (swt) says in the Qur’an:

‘Indeed, Allah is my Lord and your Lord, so worship Him. That is the straight path.’ [3:51]

‘And worship your Lord until there comes to you the certainty (death).’ [15:99]

Knowing that Allah (swt) is our Rabb is to worship Him wholeheartedly. And that worship has a sweetness, especially when we know who we are worshipping. As Allah (swt) says in the Qur’an to the people of Paradise:

‘[And] “Peace,” a word from a Merciful Lord.’ [36:58]

]]> https://www.virtualmosque.com/personaldvlpt/overcoming-hardships/my-rabb/feed/ 9 36275 https://www.virtualmosque.com/ummah/community/it-was-a-great-day-to-be-a-muslim-how-i-found-nourishment-for-my-soul/ https://www.virtualmosque.com/ummah/community/it-was-a-great-day-to-be-a-muslim-how-i-found-nourishment-for-my-soul/#comments Fri, 30 May 2014 12:00:21 +0000 http://www.virtualmosque.com/?p=26017  

Photo: Shereen M

Yesterday. I sigh remembering it. What a blessing yesterday was. 

I met up with an old friend who lived across the street from me when we were kids. Back then we used to hang out either on his driveway or in his house just jamming on our guitars. I played the six-string and he played bass. But what often ended up happening were long talks about life and our dreams of “making it big” in Rock and Roll. It feels like last week, though good sense tells me it was a lifetime ago. And there we were yesterday, so many years later, talking over lunch just like when we were kids. The only things missing were the guitars. I’ve always struggled to keep all the friends I make, but times like yesterday make me feel that I did alright. I cannot begin to express to you the value in preserving your relationships from childhood. For those who ever followed the TV series Lost (or binge watched it on Netflix), there was the theme of having a “constant” serving as an anchor between two time periods in life. It’s a lot like that.

Later that day, I saw two souls, both individually beautiful, unite in marriage to create what could only be described as a radiant light. I kid you not: those in their presence who had never met them before got watery eyed at the sight. I never believed in love at first sight, because it has always been framed within the context of nauseatingly idealistic and film-grade romance. However, there is some truth in it. When you meet someone, the souls meet before our physical matter does. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (peace be upon him) said, “Souls are of many differing types. When they meet, they recognize and incline towards the other, or they are repulsed and withdraw from the other.” What I actually witnessed at this occasion yesterday was my soul admiring the goodness I saw in other souls. It brought the aforementioned narration, which I had heard countless times before, into flesh and blood and gave it a pulse. The eyes can be not just a window to the soul, but also a periscope for the heart.

The night closed at my brother’s graduation party. Typically, at birthdays, grad parties, weddings and other such celebrations people get together, serve food, talk and then…go home. That’s pretty much the gist of it, and that’s how everyone probably thought this was going to go. But we had two esteemed scholars, Shaykh Joe Bradford and Shaykh Mamdouh Mahmoud, in our company, whose presence helped turn it into what I call “soul food”. Nourishment for the soul. We all, one by one, recited a verse from the Qur’an, any verse we were feeling, no matter how long or short. I could feel the energy, charge and enrichment it brought to our spirits. Cattle go out, graze, share a few nudges and moos, and then go back. Our gatherings should be more meaningful than that. The obvious benefit at my brother’s graduation party was that we all recited the Qur’an. But it was more than just that. Recitation of the Qur’an became a means of bonding. So, don’t let your get-togethers just be like grazing in the pasture.

Out of all life on this planet, we humans are the ones who will seek to preserve our relationships with each other—and even with other animals—for as long as we can. That brings me an indescribable hope. We were meant for something more than mere existence. We were meant to positively affect others in the relationships we create and foster, so that we can understand and increase our desire for the greatest of those relationships: our relationship with God.

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, “The Mercy of Almighty God is in 100 parts. One part He has distributed amongst all His creation, with which they show one another love and mercy. The remaining 99 are reserved for the Day of Judgment.” Many supplementary variants of this narration throughout the Hadith collections lend credence to the notion that the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ must have stressed this on numerous occasions throughout his advent.

Imagine all the love and mercy that ever existed on earth in its billions and billions of years. That’s just 1/100th of God’s Love for YOU. Yesterday inspired me, and as your friend I wanted to share that in hopes that my reflections inspire you, too. After all, that’s what friends are for.

All-Encompassing Mercy

Her heart felt like it was being ripped apart. She looked around her and could not find him. She started breathing more heavily. Her eyes scanned her surroundings desperately, where she could see soldiers and captives, until suddenly, she caught a glimpse of his tiny body. She bolted towards and scooped him up as she wept, and then nursed him. Her whole body sighed in relief. Her baby was safe.

The Prophet ﷺ (peace be upon him) describes this scene in a famous hadith (narration) to give us a glimpse into God’s mercy. After witnessing this scene, the Prophet ﷺ asked the Companions, “Do you think that this woman would throw her child in the fire?” And they said, “No, by Allah she would not, if she is able not to.” He ﷺ then said, “Allah the Exalted is more merciful with His slave than this woman with her child.” (Bukhari)

This is a universal example, one that most people can understand- the mercy of a mother towards her child. And not just any mother, but a mother faced with that situation. Allah is more merciful to His creation than that mother.

Ar-Rahman Ar-Raheem

The first words that begin the journey through the Qur’an are: “In the Name of God, the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful (ar-Rahman, ar-Raheem),” (1:1). We begin the journey of knowing God through His Mercy. This is the way in which God introduces Himself to us—not with the names that indicate majesty and strength. So in this journey of understanding Allah’s Names, it is only fitting that we speak of His all-encompassing mercy.

Rahman and Raheem both come from the same root of ra-haa-meem (ر-ح-م), which means “ar-riqqa wal-ta’atuf”—a combination of tenderness and compassion.

Ar-Rahman is the Entirely Merciful whose “All-inclusive mercy gives to both the worthy and unworthy. The mercy of God is perfect and all-inclusive. It is perfect in the sense that He not only wills the satisfaction of the needs of the needy but actually satisfies them. It is all-inclusive in that it includes the worthy and the unworthy, this life and that which is to come and encompasses the essentials, needs and advantages which go beyond them. Thus He is in truth the Compassionate absolutely,” (al-Ghazali).

Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He) says in the Qur’an, “He who created the heavens and the earth and what is between them in six days and then established Himself above the Throne – the Most Merciful (ar-Rahman), so ask about Him one well informed.” (Qur’an, 25:59)

We are all recipients of Allah’s Mercy every single day. The plants, animals and humans. Men and women. Young and old. Muslim and non-Muslim. These mercies come in the form of all of the blessings in our lives, from the earth itself to our loved ones. Allah tells us, “And out of His mercy He made for you the night and the day that you may rest therein and [by day] seek from His bounty and [that] perhaps you will be grateful,” (Qur’an, 28:73). These are the things that we don’t even realize, but we all benefit from. A cool breeze on a warm day. Rain after drought. The trees that purify the air for us. We are all recipients of this mercy.

Ar-Raheem is a more specific mercy towards the believers. For example, the mercy that descends during Ramadan is one only Muslims who believe in Ramadan can enjoy. And Allah (swt) tells us in the Qur’an, “It is He who confers blessing upon you, and His angels [ask Him to do so] that He may bring you out from darknesses into the light. And ever is He, to the believers, Merciful (Raheema)” (Qur’an, 33:43).
In order to understand this amazing mercy in the grand scheme of things, the Prophet ﷺ informs us that, “Allah has divided mercy into 100 parts, and He retained with Him 99 parts, and sent down to earth one part. Through this one part creatures deal with one another with compassion, so much so that an animal lifts its hoof over its young lest it should hurt it,” (Al-Bukhari).

When your mom shows affection towards you, or when your spouse covers you with a blanket lest you feel cold, remember that this is only a fraction of the one mercy that Allah (swt) sent down to earth. So imagine the mercy He has saved for the Day of Judgment!

Ar-Ra’uf

Ar-Ra’uf is “the One who has pity (on others), and pity is the intensification of mercy. Therefore it has the same meaning as rahim though in an intensified form, and the discussion of ar-rahim has already been presented,” (al-Ghazali).

So if Ra’uf is simply a more intensified form of mercy, what is the difference between Rahma and Ra’fa? Scholars have said that if a calamity hits you, one who is Merciful—Raheem—has mercy on you after that calamity. But Ra’uf is one who is so merciful, that his mercy extends before the calamity hits, and involves him taking care of you and warning you so that a calamity does not hit. Sheikh Ratib an-Nabulsi gives an example of a father who is protective of his children, and especially during the winter when he dresses them in warm clothes so that they do not suffer from the cold. That is ra’fa. Whereas a father whose heart aches because his child has become sick, and does everything to get the medicine to ease his child’s pain, is merciful—raheem. Imam al-Qushayri states that ra’fa is the highest form of mercy, where Allah protects His servants by warning them of the deeds the necessitate punishment.

It’s almost like Allah does not want us to have an ounce of doubt about His mercy towards us. His mercy is not only all-encompassing, with a special kind reserved for the believers, but He is telling us that His warnings to us, and His withholding from us is from an intense mercy. He does not want us to go through the hurt and pain had He not warned us.

But I face so many difficulties in my life…

I have explored the issue of calamities in these two articles: Why am I tested? And Will you turn away? So I will be brief here.

The culmination of Allah’s mercy is in the Paradise that He created, which the Prophet ﷺ described as a place “no eye has seen and no ear has heard and neither has the thought occurred in any person’s heart” (Bukhari). It is this place that we strive to be, where we understand that this is what our struggle was for. Yet Allah (swt) says in the Qur’an, “But you prefer the worldly life, While the Hereafter is better and more enduring,” (Qur’an, 87:16-17).

We will face difficulties, and this does not contradict Allah’s mercy. Some difficulties are simply challenges we need to overcome. Others seem to have no explanation.

As to the first kind, these challenges are there to strengthen us. There are some lessons we would not have learned without them. An Olympic champion only reaches that level by being pushed by his trainer. A child might wonder why a mother forces him to go to school everyday. But it is only so we can become the best that we can be. There is light at the end of the tunnel. These challenges bring us closer to Allah (swt) because we then realize that He is the only One who can help us. And at the end of it all, we are not tested with more than we can bear.

As to the second kind, Allah’s ra’fa is in His instructing us on what is the best way to be in this world. When we are faced with things we cannot explain, or suffering that seems too great, it is our responsibility to act. And Allah tells us how to act as His vicegerents on this earth. Every suffering will have its end, as “Allah will bring about, after hardship, ease” (Qur’an, 65:7). We will only be asked about what we did in the face of it.

And in all cases of difficulty, remember that the Prophet ﷺ said, “No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allah expiates some of his sins for that,”  (Bukhari).

Living with this Name

Have Mercy on Others

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, “Those who show mercy to their fellow beings will be shown mercy by the Merciful Lord. So, show mercy to those on the earth, and He Who is in the heavens will show mercy to you,” (Tirmidhi). Be merciful in your interactions with people, and do not be harsh.

Learn the Things that Bring About Allah’s Mercy

There are some ahadeeth (sayings of the Prophet ﷺ) where the Prophet ﷺ tells us what brings about Allah’s mercy:

“May Allah have mercy on a man who is kind when he buys, when he sells, and when he makes a demand,” (Bukhari) and, “May Allah have mercy on the man who gets up at night to pray and wakes up his wife to pray, and if she refuses, he sprinkles water in her face. And may Allah have mercy on the woman who gets up at night to pray, and wakes her husband up to pray, and if he refuses, she sprinkles water in his face,” (Abu Dawud).

Do Things that Increase the Mercy in Your Heart

Sometimes we can become numb to the suffering around us. We get so caught up in our lives that we lose the connection to other people, and therefore cannot empathize with their struggle. So, volunteer at a soup kitchen. Get involved with an organization that provides housing for the homeless. Give some of your time, energy and money to stand with people.

Follow the One who was Sent as a Mercy to the Worlds ﷺ

The best way to become a manifestation of Allah’s rahma is to study the life of the Prophet ﷺ and follow his example. The battle of Uhud was the most difficult battle for the Muslims. It was the battle in which they thought that they lost the Prophet ﷺ. In their panic and desperation, the companions asked the bleeding Prophet ﷺ to supplicate against their enemy. But he refused and said, “O Allah! Guide my people for they do not know!” These are lessons that we need to learn from.

Look at the Manifestations of Allah’s Mercy in your life, in Times When He has Given, and in Times When He has Withheld

Reflection is considered one of the greatest acts of worship. We are the benefactors of so many mercies, every day of our lives. Moreover, there are many times when something that is perceived as ‘bad’ turns out to be something good for us. So take the time to reflect on Allah’s mercy in your life—the times He protected you, the times He gave to you, and even the times He withheld from you.