Assalamu Alaykum. I have known a woman who was raised Muslim but does not necessarily believe in mainstream Islam. She believes in God in “her way” as she says. I have just told her this weekend that I cannot marry her as long as she does not accept the basic principals of Islam, believing in Allah and that Mohammed is his prophet and following the Quran as the word of Allah. I love her very much and she is an amazing person (Muslim in every aspect except in her beliefs) but I cannot do something that ultimately will upset Allah. Am I right in my approach and what is the minimum that will be required of her for me to be able to marry her.
May God make this easy for you and we pray that He will use you as a guide for this sister.
What we are required, as Muslims, to believe is what is found in the famous hadith of Jibril where the Prophet stated the pillars of faith: Allah, His angels, His Books, His messengers, the Hereafter and al-Qadar, and practice: Declare one’s faith in Allah, to pray five times a day, to pay zakah [if one can], to fast Ramadan and to make Hajj if one can. We are obliged to believe in these things in a general fashion and not required to go into the complexities of faith and to practice them to the best of our ablities. If she accepts this, then she is a Muslim.
I would advice you to take it slowly and try and build bridges by which you can both communicate your feelings on this issue. Over time try and communicate the true teachings of Islam to her.
Allah knows best
I think it is important to remember that your wife will also be the mother of your children. Communication problems or belief conflicts between spouses tend to manifest themselves once the two have children and are responsible for lives other than their own.
It is difficult on a child to receive conflicting messages (esp about religion) from his or her parent.
You are a shepherd for your children. Before making a decision, think ahead to what is to come inshaAllah and let that guide your rationale.
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