An Attempt Set The Path To Its Cure
In the Name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful
All praise is due to Allah, Glorified and Magnificent is He. He is the light within the heavens and the earth, and all that proceeds it. All matters lay in His hands, He is the giver and He is the Taker. He is the granter of peace and the giver of life. He takes us out from the depths of darkness and sheds us in His light of guidance. I pray that this reaches those who it may bring benefit to, and helps them to overcome their inner struggles..Ameen
This will set out to set a way out for those that are battling it within themselves, by Allah’s will. I had written an article sometime ago, talking from a personal experience in relation to low self esteem: Low Self Esteem: A Disease Among The Youth
Alhamdulila, some sisters had contacted me, and it had only opened my eyes to the severity of it, and which led me to writing these series of articles. I pray sincerely that they bring benefit.Ameen
Low self esteem seems to be a major cause to alot of problems, which we see in society. This subject is somewhat sensitive, and although its affects are vast, many of us are not aware of it. It can be well hidden, and it leads to such things as depression, drug and alcohol abuse, rebellion, eating disorders and reaches extremities such as suicide. It is not something physically apparent, and can even be veiled from the individual themselves. This then leads to the individual interpreting the problem wrongly, and attempting to fill the voids through other means, which will only feed the low esteem negatively, and take the individual into a vicious cycle.
It affects many people, especially the youth, in areas of confidence levels, interpersonal relations, educational attainment, marriages, and socialising – all important tools in ones life.
Alhamdulila, Islam is a Shifa (healing) for mankind. We can aim to hope and find the cure in Islam, referring back to the Qur’an and Sunnah. Improving ourselves, and bettering ourselves is a lifelong task. Allah puts forward challenges only to help us better ourselves, to expose any bad traits within us, as a means for us to see, and a chance to better them. We will go through many walks of life, and face hardships, and happiness which will all mould us continuously. We can see these stages, as means to improve ourselves, or it can go against us. It is all dependent on our thinking, how we perceive life, our purpose and our focus upon how we want to present our hearts to Allah when we return to Him. Our own thinking can blind us and deprive us from blessings and goodness through any challenges in life which Allah may wish to give us.
In relation to low self esteem, one can either perceive low esteem as something in favour of them, or against them. All praise and thanks to Allah, I felt it as a blessing in disguise, only after which I had pulled through. All in all, any trials which Allah puts forward to us, can be in our favour, and Allah does not decree anything, without there being any wisdom behind it, as He is The Al Hakim. Yet, when one is suffering from low esteem, it does not feel like so.
Al-Hasan al-Basri (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “Do not resent the calamities that come and the disasters that occur, for perhaps in something that you dislike will be your salvation, and perhaps in something that you prefer will be your doom.”
Remember the words of the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “How wonderful is the affair of the believer, for his affairs are all good, and this applies to no one but the believer. If something good happens to him, he is thankful for it and that is good for him. If something bad happens to him, he bears it with patience and that is good for him.” (Narrated by Muslim, 2999).
Having low esteem is a great trial in itself, feeling like you are stuck inside your ‘own cage’, it veils you from seeing the good within yourself, from seeing good in situations, and eats away at your confidence. The individual themselves, become their own limit. being your own barrier and your own continuous critic, and aiming to overcome that can be a far fetched mountain to climb, which is why Islam is a shifa; Allah says in the Quran:
‘Allah does not lay a burden on any soul, except that which it can bear, Allah will bring about ease after hardship’ (Quran 65:7)
Islam gives us an optimistic perception on life, and enables us to move forward and gives us great motivation, focus and confidence.
There are a few solutions which I aim to put forward.
Firstly, there are 3 ingredients needed, before you aim to overcome it; All of these intertwine and follow on from each other:
After which and during should help you aim to gain sincerity. Ask yourself, which areas of your life need enhancing.
You need to be determined, and feel as an obligation on yourself to fight it. This will then lead to motivation. You need to keep motivated, in order that if you fail one time, you can pick yourself back up, and try again, remembering what your motive is. Finally, with this you need courage. Your motives will provide you with the strength to give you courage, in order that you remain determined. Thus, you can keep motivated to challenge yourself in situations which affect you the most.
How will I be determined, and what can be my motivation? From where can I build courage?
Only you know your weaknesses, after all, the low esteem is all that makes you focus upon. Only you know what areas of your life it affects, how much it prevents you and limits you from achieving your potential. All the answers come from being truthful to yourself.
Once this is established, make known to yourself, what you aspire for, what you aim to improve about yourself, and what you want to overcome. List three things and focus and aim for your goals. This should then give your first boost of motivation..insh’Allah.
Future articles in this series will deal with:
- Steps to take and consider – Reconnecting with the deen
- Calling yourself the challenge
- Ask yourself a few questions – Your purpose in life
- Do’s and dont’s
- Final words in relation to Ibn Al Qayyim’s ‘The Characteristics of the Seeker of Happiness’ From Al Fawa’id’.
Any good of this is from Allah and any errors are from myself.
Note: Please do not republish without permission, if any sisters would like to contact me for general confidential advice based on this, my email ad: email@example.com.
asalaamu alaykum, sister
1stly i would just like to say that i think these articles are very good, and you’re doing a fantastic job addressing these issues. i myself would just have one brief thing i would say. from what i have seen, deppression is a sickness, like any other although some people are treated very badly because it isn’t as such visible. i think all the points and advice you have written are excelent and worthwhile for any one suffering to do. however, i do feel some people are to sick to take it on bored and implement it by themselves. therefore i urge any one who is aware that some one is suffering from such a sickness, helplessness or hopelessness to keep reminding them that they are worth something and have a purpose, no matter how frustrating at times this may seem. above all remember this illness can unfortunately in some cases lead to suicide so we must urge people to keep going, and proceed through life however hopeless it may seem at the time.
may allah reward us all for any good that we achieve.
Yes its very true what you said, and its a sensitive area, and of which not most people like to admit… And can find no salvation from their problem without having to admit and then find therapy.. therefore these articles inshAllah can reach those who are struggling to seek help..
Its a widespread problem, and even people themselves dont know they suffer from it, and blame external factors. Also they will assume they are the only ones who feel the way they do and dont realise maany youth go through the same thing… and can keep it well covered up..
Parenting is a key factor here..
Make dua for our brothers and sisters.
I admire to your writing
Our own thinking can blind us and deprive us from blessings and goodness through any challenges in life which Allah may wish to give us.
one of my fave parts and i discovered recently someone i love could be at risk of bullimia im shocked and heart broken just want her 2 be happy and healthy inshallah and it could be due to llow self esteem but idunno and dont talk about it
plz make dua for her
Laa ilaaha illallahu. Self is the only problem. That’s it. It’s just self. Virtue is a selfless objective.
Islam is true humility. Humility is low self esteem only for Allah. I understand where others are coming from. But it’s not about you. Whether it’s kept to yourself or not. It’s about Allah. It’s about The Truth. Only Allah is always Great. That’s it. Subhan’Allah. Allahu Akbar. Truth is complete. Submit yourself to Allah, The Truth.
Qur’an is the only perfect source for advise. Self is a false god. There is no true self. There is only true humility. Islam. That’s it. Allah is The Truth.
Thus, anything that pertains to self is meaningless. Shun id. Id will only mislead us from true belief. Worship none but Allah. Submit to Allah’s Commands. No one else’s! That’s right.