Islamic Studies

Low Self Esteem ‘A disease Amongst The Youth’ Part III

An Attempt Set The Path To Its Cure

In the Name of Allah, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful

All praise is due to Allah, Glorified and Magnificent is He. He is the light within the heavens and the earth, and all that proceeds it. All matters lay in His hands, He is the giver and He is the Taker. He is the granter of peace and the giver of life. He takes us out from the depths of darkness and sheds us in His light of guidance. May peace and blessings be upon Prophet Muhammad (saw) and make Him near to Allah on the Day of Resurrection. I pray that this reaches those who it may bring benefit to, and helps them to overcome their inner struggles..Ameen

This is the third part in the article series in steps overcoming Low Self Esteem..inshAllah..

Earlier parts in the Series:
Part 1 – Introduction to Low Self-Esteem
Part 2 – The Three Ingredients

Re- connect or refresh your connection with your Deen, through knowledge and practise.

Beseech Allah first and foremost, to aid you in overcoming your trial. If your prayers are lacking, aim to get them on time, and regular. Know that, if you are not turning to Allah, and fulfilling your obligatory duties, then inevitably you will find difficulty in this life. Seek help and patience through prayer.

If your knowledge is lacking in Islam, seek the basics. Learn about Allah, His Attributes, and His rights over you.

Learn about The Prophet (saw), and his character, and his life.

There is no doubt, low esteem will be diseasing your heart, and by knowing what bad traits its making you carry, using the Prophet (saw) example, as a template, should be sufficient for you as your goal.

The whole essence, or body of this is self-reformation, and purification. Allah praises those who seek to purify themselves:

“He is indeed successful who purifies it, and he is indeed a failure who stunts it.” (al-Qur’an, 91: 9-10)

The Day on which neither wealth nor sons will be of any use, except for whoever brings to Allah a sound heart.” (al-Qur’an, 26: 88-89)

The sound heart is understood to be free of character defects and spiritual blemishes

“He has succeeded who purifies himself” (al-Qur’an, 87: 14).

1. If you know, low self-esteem is affecting you, call upon yourself the challenge to overcome it!

The first most biggest step one can take, is realising they are being affected, and aiming to overcome their shortcomings.

We should in any situation, remember that, if we wish to do anything, aspire towards anything, or change anything, we need to put in the effort and make the first step towards what we aim. If we want Allah’s aid, we need to provide a channel whereby Allah can bestow His blessings and support. Who can help us, if we can’t help ourselves?

Allah says in the Qur’an:

“Verily, Allah does not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves” (al-Qur’an, 13:11)

Allah will aid us, if we intend to firstly aid ourselves.

This is another drop of motivation which Insh’Allah we should pick up.

Also keep in mind, Allah is there to support you, if you aim for good, Allah will make steps easier for you, and Allah will draw you nearer to Him:

“I am as My servant thinks I am. I am with him when he makes mention of Me. If he makes mention of Me to himself, I make mention of him to Myself; and if he makes mention of Me in an assembly, I make mention of him in an assembly even better than that. And if he takes one step towards me, I take ten steps towards him. And if he comes walking to Me , I go running towards him.” (Hadith Qudsi)

Have firm intention, and pray two Rakah voluntary or Salat Ul Hajah (The Prayer of need) for Allah to aid you and make your intention with your Salah.

2. Ask yourself a few questions:

Where are you in life at present?
Where do you want to go?
What are your goals in life?
Why are they your goals?
What is it that you wish to improve about yourself?
Why do you wish to improve these?
What is your purpose in life?

After these questions are answered, focusing upon the ‘why’ answers, you should be able to set your priorities. List your priorities in order of importance in order that it gives you some directions and aids you in your goal.

All in all, our purpose in this life, is to worship Allah:

I only created jinn and man to worship Me. (Dhariyat, 56)

We should aim to set our goals in life towards this. All these aspects, which have been mentioned, are which lead to sincerity, and will aid us to gain the three ingredients. Insh’Allah.

Rate your esteem

Ask yourself, draw on a scale of 1-10, how do I rate my self-esteem /confidence? Then, identify where would like to be in terms of your confidence. You then have an idea of where you are heading.

Future articles in this series will deal with:

* Building your esteem!
* Dos and donts: Final words in relation to Ibn Al Qayyim’s ‘The Characteristics of the Seeker of Happiness’ From Al Fawa’id’.

Any good of this is from Allah and any errors are from myself.

Note: Please do not republish without permission, if any sisters would like to contact me for general confidential advice based on this, my email ad:

About the author

Aysha Khanom

Aysha Khanom

Aysha is from the United Kingdom. She graduated with a Bachelor’s Degree in Sociology in 2009 and is currently working as a teacher. She is working on establishing a Muslim women’s organization in the United Kingdom to facilitate efforts to gain knowledge, parenting, and other areas of need. She has contributed to writing for Al-Ameen Newspaper in Canada, Sama Ghazal Poetry Collection Book, and other magazines based in the UK. Her dream is to see justice in the world again, not only between nations, but also between individuals.

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  • Jazakallahu Khairan sister. Indeed a connection with Allah swt is all we need and that is through increasing our ibadaah.

    One day I come home from work. I was a little tense and my shoulders felt very stiff, I then took my wudhu and stood up for my magrib prayer. During the prayer, I could feel that uncomfortable feeling on my shoulders fading away. from that day on, I realized a strong connection with Allah swt is all I need.

    Stand up and pray.

  • assalamu’alaikum,
    All praised To Allah as mentioned above(One day I come home from work. I was a little tense and my shoulders felt very stiff, I then took my wudhu and stood up for my magrib prayer. During the prayer, I could feel that uncomfortable feeling on my shoulders fading away. from that day on, I realized a strong connection with Allah swt is all I need.)

    (Stand up and pray.)
    i did that b4 and its amazing i felt that too.nothing should stop me from praying.but day after days i became more suspicious of myself.i had to wudhu’ repeatedly pray a fardhu repeatedly. i had a lot of problem with myself even b4 i get to my prayers. i need that prayers and i must pray bcos im a creation of Allah, Allah created me.He is my god and there is only One God that is Allah.but somehow im too weak willed im terribly weak
    i became suspicious of myself and my prayers that i think im not clean enough im wrong enough that my prayers is not right that i get too tired and depressed of myself that i have not done my prayers for almost two days.and now im getting further away from scared im vanished like a zombie.lived but die inside.i have alot of suspicious everything related to my prayers. i want to get there but all these things annoyed me confused me irritate me, make myself difficult.. i couldnt think and when i got into these couldnt think properly wisely my eyes(heart) couldnt open wide so confined . making me shake(consideraton) so hard at times. what is this im weak willed or low esteem?im afraid of myself in this kind of personality. im so weak. i couldnt even do what normal muslims can do. i couldnt even reached like what from the above mentioned. they did it easily whereas i couldnt. they wudhu’ easily junub easily pray easily, im jealous of waht you all are.. and sometime if i could i might take it for granted
    im so weak…

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